01x07 - Pasado

[bunniefuu]

Get him!

MANCHILD

I'd like to be a ray of sunshine

To come through your window

And bid you good morning

Lying in your bed

Don't put those images in my head! Don't!

I'd like to be Saint Juan

I'd like to be Saint Peter

Poli!

I should have nightmares
when I'm asleep, not awake.

Well, to start off your birthday
on a good note,

I made you an organic egg for breakfast

because you have to watch
your cholesterol.

-See?
-What?

I don't want to get older, dammit!

And 50!

Yes!

Fifty years, half a century,
I'm f*cking old.

It's time for you to have a bite.

And get ready,
because 200 guests already confirmed.

I ordered 10 extra boxes of champagne.

And guess what?

Enrique Olvera said, "I'm going to make
the mole he likes so much."

I don't feel like celebrating. Cancel it.

No, look at all the presents you got!

Send them back.

I wonder what's in this one?

Well, my boy. I'm going now.

Have some breakfast.

This egg is delicious.

It's the best you've ever made.

You used your secret ingredient?
Lots of love for me?

No, a lot of garlic salt.

CARDIOLOGIST - DERMATOLOGIST
REGINA

One, six, five.

Am I talking to Dr. Regina?

Look...

I'm Poli, Víctor's nanny.

Yes.

Yes, listen...

We have a problem.

In the Argentinean dialect,
double L and Y are pronounced "sh."

For example, in "lluvia," meaning "rain."

Víctor Emergency. Call me.

Damn Víctor, you are so old!

How come you didn't notice before?

Well, you can't even see.

Let's see.

Damn! No, you're older than it seems, man.

Okay...

To think I spent my life playing Superman,

but I was hiding this poor Clark Kent.

What about you? What do you have to say?

Look at me in the eye
when I talk to you, damn crooked.

Look at you! Old, wrinkled, weak,
and you need pills to feel anything.

To think what a sight you were,
and now you're just pitiful.

Surprise!

I don't feel like doing anything. Leave.

We weren't asking.
This is a birthday intervention.

That's right. We brought snacks,
and we're going to have a great time.

Cheer up, people!

We're having a barbecue, man!

Even Regina is here, and she's a bore.

Hey! What are you saying?
I organized this.

I'm not that boring!

Really? No! You didn't know me then,
but I went through a phase.

We've all gone through phases.

But have you ever been fun?

I was like this. You should have seen me.

-What were you like?
-Like this!

Hello!

-Hello.
-Hello!

-Wanna dance?
-No, thank you. We're already dancing.

-What's wrong with you?
-What happened, Regina?

You've rejected three guys already.

Yeah!

What? They're beneath us.

What a woman!

Attention, a hottie!

Where?

That hunk over there.

Doesn't he look like Eduardo Capetillo,
the most handsome man in Mexico?

Yes! So handsome!

You're impressed by that?

No, for real. I swear he's Capetillo.

-Come on!
-Let's see.

-There are no men here.
-How come?

Because real men
are bohemian, intellectual,

they drink whisky. These are momma's boys.

Regina, you're so boring!

Yes, you've always liked boring men.

Because I'm a free spirit!
I don't want commitment.

Why would I mess up my life with a man?

I would mess up my life
with those hairy arms Eduardo has!

I know!

Mess it up!

The new trend is being free,
and it's great.

Marriage is a trap, a damn trap.

-Let's dance!
-So nasty!

No! No Way!

-Is it Capetillo?
-It's Capetillo.

No! She's going with him!

Did she go with him?

The meat looks good.

It's great. I have a very good supplier.

-Really?
-Yep.

Wait until you try
Tony's Special Guacamole.

It's finger-licking good.

Do you make it spicy?

Of course. Especially for you,
since you like it hot.

Sorry!

I don't know where that came from.

It's true, I do like it hot.

I no longer know how to talk to you
or the rest of your people.

I was raised macho, you know.

Not thinking about being...
You know what I mean?

I do.

I was raised just like you.

But what would happen
if you became more sure of yourself?

Say, if I were to put my finger here
for more than four seconds,

look at you lovingly...

and took a deep sniff
of your spicy guacamole.

Did you stop liking women?

I like women.

You smell so nice! No, dammit, no!

I like women, man.

See? Sexuality is a river
with many courses.

You have to learn to live it,
it'll be fun.

You say that because
you solve everything quickly.

Men are always in the mood.

But we have to work hard
if we want to have some...

empanadas, let's put it that way.

I used to love empanadas.

-No!
-Yes, it was a phase.

Actually, when I'm drunk,
I don't know the difference.

No! That's a big statement!

Any hole will do.

I'd better go back to cooking.

You don't care?

-Have you drunk a lot?
-Yes.

Good thing they let us
in the VIP, right, José?

I told you not to call me José.

My name's María José.

I don't get that obsession of yours.

It's a joke, José.

No! Not here.

Why not?

I can't stop thinking about that night.

-Which one?
-That one.

Yes... I remember now.

My parents are going to Cuernavaca
next weekend. How about we...?

Look, your brother!

What's up, Robert?

-How are you?
-Good.

-And you?
-Good.

What's up, brat?

-You came in the Datsun? Cool.
-Obviously.

Wanna see what's over there?

Actually, I don't.

What's wrong with you? He just got here.

Every time he comes,
you talk to each other and ignore me.

Relax!

Don't worry about the brat,
she always wants attention.

I just want to be with my boyfriend.

There he is.

Who's that guy?

He looks like Capetillo.

-Where?
-Damn!

-No! Yes! No!
-He is, man.

Are you sure?

-No!
-Yes, man.

No way!

Maybe he is. No!

It's him!

-I'm going there.
-No, he's with Biby Gaytán, man!

Come!

Where did you go, man?
Here's the chop, man. Literally.

Gentlemen!

What you asked for.

-There you go!
-Let's see.

Let's see.

Chili.

This grossed me out.

See. This is a subliminal message.

You see me and you "smash a guy."

Okay, nevermind.

sh*t!

Do you bite?

You scared me, you're just like me.

I scared off my wife,
my children, my friends.

But I'm worried about your owner.

He's very depressed.

I was depressed too, but I'm better now.

And I know I have to work more on myself.

If you had seen me as a kid...

Then I would have really scared you.

Hey, Andrés, why did you bring me
to this super posh club?

Don't call me "Andrés,"
call me "Beelzebub."

I'm sorry, Beelzebub, I forgot.

This place has nothing to do
with our rocker principles.

I know, but Laura comes here.

She's got you by the ba*ls, right?

-When are you asking her out?
-Today.

-Good!
-I wrote her this.

Yeah, my Beelzebub!

It's my new song poem.

-It's called "666."
-Yeah!

And it goes like this...

My love burns by hell's fire

A door will open my soul

So I reunite with you

The witch of my cauldron

Oh, Beelzebub!

You're like the Luis Miguel
of the underworld.

You are not the sun,
you're the darkest side of the moon.

-Yeah, Willy!
-Yeah, but remember, I'm not Willy.

I'm Willy, Satanic Chain,
Son of the Beast.

All right, Willy, Satanic Chain,
Son of the Beast.

Lau!

Hello, Andy!

-How are you?
-Good, and you?

Wow!

You look great like that!

Yeah?

I like it. It's like punk, right?

I'm so glad you came.

People here are super boring.

Well, until you came, of course.

I'm incorruptible.

Screw the system!

Wow!

Wouldn't you like to marry,

have a family and get a normal job?

No!

I was born to stick my finger
up the system's a*s.

Really?

Changing the subject,
wanna come to my place?

Just for a little while!
My parents aren't home, we can be alone.

I can't. After this I have to meet
some Satan worshippers

and perform a ritual
to write my next song.

That's not true!

You said you'd come to my place
because you don't have water in yours.

Remember?

You don't like to go to bed without
showering cause your hair gets frizzy.

I said I needed water to wash the hen
I am going to sacrifice.

Okay! Your loss.

Will you call me next week?

Sure.

What an idiot! I forgot!

Hey!

I can't even recognize you, Beelzebub.

You're not a real son of Satan
when you're in love like this.

You know what you are? A nerd!

-I'm a nerd?
-Yes!

I'll go sacrifice a hen. See you around.

f*cking nerd.

Hey, where can I get a hen?

Guys!

-Nice!
-What's up?

I didn't know I had
such nice dinnerware.

He didn't know because you had no friends.

And his guests did not exactly come
with an appetite.

Man!

Where did you learn to do this?

Believe it or not,
I used to work in the gastronomy business.

I mean, I was a waiter.

At first, anyways.
I was young, just starting.

And they also taught you
interior decoration?

Well, I wasn't just any waiter.

I served presidents, businessmen, VIPs.

Tips were great. But...

What? You slept with the president's wife?

You screwed the First Lady?

No way! No! Of course not!

But I did have some flings
with some ladies in high places.

Is he telling the truth?

Let's get that business going.

You'll see. We'll make tons of money.

I want the money by year's end.

Yes! And we'll go to Las Vegas
to celebrate. I'll rent a private jet.

Coming through!

Here you go, sir.

Very good!

Well done, boy!

This is for you.

Thank you, sir. You're very generous.

This guy reminds me of myself!

Ambitious, smart, and a huge heart.

No way! No! Thank you, but no.

Look, don't we look alike?
We're identical.

Come, son. Take my wife for a dance.

-Me?
-Please, I'm lending her to you.

Cheer up already!

If the lady wants to...

Go on!

Yes, man. Of course.

Let's go where I told you.

Don't call me "lady," my name's Elvira.

I'll be waiting for you at Breda Hotel,
for more "services".

Tony, check out the picture
I posted to the group.

It's being sent. It's great.

What group?

What do you mean? Our group.

Our chat.

Look who's overcoming depression!

Little by little.

-Baby, I have a surprise for you.
-What?

What's this?

What do you mean?

They're Puerto Rican tostones.

What? Aren't you from Puerto Rico?

No, absolutely not.

You won't stop talking about Puerto Rico,

the Enchanted Island and so on,
and you're not?

Okay.

I'm going to tell you the story,
because we're family.

Before becoming part of Uranium 21,

the manager wanted someone
with some Caribbean flavor,

and they wrote in my birth certificate
that I was from there.

You know?

Is that legal?

When you're famous, everything's allowed.
The good and the bad.

Everything.

Aldo!

Aldo!

Brother, where's the bottle
and the red M&M's?

They'll bring them in a moment.

Are you going to make me wait?

I'm sorry, it seems
there's another celebrity in the club.

-Who?
-I think it's Eduardo Capetillo.

Capetillo?

Capetillo is following me?

Did you know it was me
who started the hairy chest trend?

Yes, sir.

Aldo! Aldo, please!

Aldo! Please!

Please!

Thank you, Aldo! You're a darling!

-Here's the shirt.
-Okay.

Let me see.

I'm going to faint.

Hey, is Capetillo really here?

Who? How should I know?

I just know this is your favorite spot,
so I wait for you every Friday.

You know what's good!

Aldo! I promise
you we'll be together some day.

I only want to be with you forever.

-Call my manager.
-Forever, Aldo!

Call my manager.

-Don't take me out!
-Call my manager.

That was good, brother!

Good! Thank you.

Where is Capetillo?

-I think he's down there.
-Down?

-Let me know when he comes up.
-Yes.

I want to see him.

-Thank you!
-You're welcome.

Look, I'm a masochist.

-Tony, pass me an empanada.
-Sure.

Use your hands.

-Are you sure?
-Absolutely.

Thank you.

Bon appétit.

Thank you.

I'll say a few words of appreciation.

Well, I'm happy
because I've never imagined

that I'd find true friends at this age.

And I want you to know
that it brings me great joy to be part

of this family.

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

Nobody ever celebrated my birthday
without making me pay.

Nobody even knew it was my birthday,

they only came for my money.

-Okay.
-Cheers.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

The thing is...

The thing is...

You don't know what it feels like
to be part of this friendship that keeps

growing and growing.

Please, Vic. Let us eat already.

-Thank you. Congratulations.
-Yes.

Yes, thank you.

I'm happy to be your friend.

Thank you.

How does it go?

Like this and this.

Hey, Vic. One more and we're leaving.

What?

-We're staying all night long.
-Yeah!

Yeah!

My man!

-Vic, you're the best.
-Yeah!

That's right, brother!

How nice of you
to send a bottle to Capetillo.

-What matters is the bubbles!
-The little bubbles!

Well said, man!

If they're happy, I'm happy.

Everybody has to be happy.

I'd be a little happier
if I had a watch like that.

-This one?
-Congratulations!

It's very nice.

-Here!
-No way!

Things come and go! Friends don't.

That's right!

I have a confession to make...
Come here, brothers.

I'm planning to donate
all the money my parents left me,

and I'm going to save the world, dammit.

Wait!

The whole world!

Without money, luxury or anything?

But I'll be saving the world!

I'll be saving the world!

Saving the world without money!

No way!

Repeat after me!

-I'm an idiot!
-I'm an idiot!

I am an idiot!

Stop joking around!

Look at the woman dancing with Capetillo.

She's gorgeous.

-Yes!
-She's attractive, isn't she?

And she's looking over here!

-Pose.
-Be cool!

We have the best table!

Too bad the sexiest man in Mexico
already won her over.

Shut up, as*h*le! You know nothing.

Man!

That as*h*le isn't as rich as I am.

Capetas!

No, man!

He's got bodyguards.

I don't care!

-Let's not get in trouble.
-You can't have it all.

-I don't care.
-Cheers!

Cheers!

No way, this meat is delicious.

-Right?
-Very nice.

Thank you.

Haven't you ever felt

that you've already lived some things?

I just had that feeling.

Like a "dejavús."

I know exactly what you mean.

I've also felt that yabba-dabba-doo.

It's like you've been there before, right?

Yes, exactly.

Exactly.

What if we met before
and we don't know it?

Please, those things don't happen.

-Maybe they do.
-With all of us?

-It could happen with one or two.
-But with all of us?

Let him go!

Let him go now!

What are you doing?

Aldo!

Aldo!

Who's that guy?

Aldo from Uranium 21!

I love you!

Why did I leave Timbiriche?

-I don't know.
-No way.

It happens.

Look who's here!

Come!

Sorry we're late.
We didn't want to come empty handed.

You came just in time to try the brownies

I made with the artisan chocolate
Poli brought.

I like chocolate.

It smells so good!

That's why I became a chef.

Because I know the way
to a man's heart is his stomach.

I love us!

Now the party has really begun
because the babes have arrived.

Congratulations!

Thank you very much.

Keep having a good time. I have to go.

No!

We have to work early tomorrow, right?

No! Letting your hair down
would do you some good.

But the good kind!

Stop it!

Or messing up your hair.

Come on, boss! Don't be like that. Stay.

But... Let's see... Okay.

Just for a little while.
How long can that be?

-Yeah!
-Yeah, sucker!

Okay, now let's toast for the birthday boy
the way he deserves.

-Yeah!
-Cheers!

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

I think the mezcal and champagne mix
is getting to me.

Me too.

I can't feel anything.

"Nothing"?

Not my face, ears, my body, nothing.

No!

You're here!

Your cheek is so fleshy!

Your hair is super soft, like a deer.

A newborn's hair.

A fawn.

You've had the Devil in you
since you were a young boy.

Who else would ask for red M&M's?

You're weak. You've fallen again, brother.

What a disappointment!

I'll tell my daddy on you!

No!

Not your dad!

Not your dad!

No!

Daughter?

Honey!

Honey!

I'm Nicky, you fool. You remember me now?

Or do you want to see me naked
to jolt your memory?

You're gone, but you left me everything.

Your apartment,
your money, your restaurant.

Everything.

But don't worry, I'm going to sell
everything to build you a monument.

Since Dr. Andrés Diosdado abandoned me,

my life is sh*t.

An endless chain of crap.

Are you looking for this?

No! You can't have control, Andresito.

I have the control!

As well as your wife!

And Elvis!

No, not Elvis!

No, not Elvis!

Everybody is so drunk!

I'm a champ, nothing can get me drunk.

sh*t!

I'm glad you're sober.
You know I always worry about you.

Behind this expressionless face,
there are emotions that only you cause.

What?

Why are you leaving me?

After everything we've been through?

Because you're a grown-up now.

I have a life.

I have to support Mrs. Angst
and my little Angsties.

It's time for you to find
your better half.

Every time I eat someone else's vomit,
I think of you.

Every time I smell a butt,
I think about you.

Every time I lick my testicles,
I also think of you.

You're a god, Víctor.

All right, you're free. Go.

Would you kiss me goodbye?

Okay.

But just one, and that's it, okay?

Get him!

Run!

Where's the drug?

I have no chocoshrooms.

You gave yourself away!

Where is the bag you were carrying?

Poor boy!

Tell me where the bag is!

What bag? Pat me down.

Pat me down!