01x03 - Chapter Three: Coober Pedy's A Long Way

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

[farting]

[Robyn VO] Ringer said

them missionaries told him,

"Thou shall not take the

name of the lord

thy god in vain"

How come?

What's he going to do?

Strike you down?

[sprightly western music]

[kettle boiling]

["Lady Nicotine" by

Gordon Parsons playing]

Early morning day was

dawning just when I awoke ♪

By itself across the shelf

a hand pulled out a smoke ♪

A healthy draw

and then some more ♪

I coughed all in-between ♪

Right or wrong my heart

belongs to Lady Nicotine ♪

Oh Lady Nicotine

you're in my veins ♪

You weigh my body down ♪

[heavy coughing]

I've been your willing sl*ve

but can't you see ♪

Your ruling hand will

be the death of me ♪

Now in my chest

when I'm at rest ♪

That organ starts to play ♪

My heart becomes a native

drum that beats my life away ♪

My doctor says ♪

My smoking ways

the worst he's ever seen ♪

My throat's a flame

and she's to blame ♪

That Lady Nicotine ♪

[knocking on door]

I'm taking a sh*t!

[knocking louder]

[screaming] f*ck off!

[knocking louder]

- Jesus!

- [more knocking]

[knocking]

You better have a

f*cking good reason,

for disturbing me mid-sh*t!

["Lady Nicotine"

continues playing]

Sorry about that -

caught me mid-sleep.

Big congregation,

you know.

Well, I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm looking for me taxi.

You don't look much

like a taxi driver.

Well, you don't look

much like a preacher.

[Maxine]

Little darling stole it.

Thought you

might've seen it.

Oh yeah, why'd you think that?

Found this outside your door.

Ah, there might've been one,

parked up there,

over there last night.

Why don't you go and ask him?

[Maxine] Nah!

No need to bother

the police about it.

Ah

Me son might have seen it.

He was out here last night.

[whistling]

Gidge!

Gidge!

f*ck

f*cking moron

[Maxine] I don't reckon

you're going to find him.

Oh yeah. Why not?

Dad

Gone

[tense music rising]

[car rattling]

[car stopping and

hand brake applied]

Oh

[Gidge] Um, hello

Um

I wanted to wait until you

were far enough away

that you couldn't turn back.

Hey! Oh, hey, hey, hey!

You f*cking pervert -

watching me take a sh*t.

What? What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not

Hey, hey, hey.

Wait, no You can't

You can't just leave me here.

Hey, hey, stop, alright.

You're stuck!

You're making it worse.

I'll push it.

[engine accelerating]

f*ck!

[Gidge coughing]

[Gidge] It's okay.

We just need to get some sticks

and we can get it out.

Go on then.

Well, if I get the car out,

will you take me with you?

[bird calling]

Alright

[Maxine] So you got no idea

where your son would go?

Sorry. Can't help ya.

[Mary] Hey Father!

Any grog?

f*ck off.

f*ck off.

[Mary] I'm empty.

[Robert]

Where'd she get that?

That's our bloody sacramental

wine for the services.

- [Mary] Robyn.

- Robyn?

You know Robyn?

Where'd she go?

How much for a bottle?

Oh, they're not

for sale, they're--

[Maxine] Oh sacramental wine

for your services.

Yeah, sure Father.

I could check.

[Maxine] You're too kind.

[glass clinking]

[man speaking in background]

Where'd Robyn go?

Coober Pedy.

f*ck me dead!

f*cking Coober Pedy.

[spitting]

Shall we go, then?

Oh, I don't know,

I mean

I'm going to need

some money for fuel.

Coober Pedy! It's a long way.

[scoffing]

Well, that's not going to

get us bloody far, is it?

That's all I got on me

Father

It's ah, Reverend, not Father.

Alright!

Now just

Slowly does it.

[car starting]

Alright

Alright, go!

[engine accelerating]

- [clanking]

- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Don't worry. Do not worry.

[spitting]

Alright

[Gidge exerting]

Alright

Wrong way.

[Gidge] Ooh

Oh, well, I'll just,

I'll get the spare.

Oi! Who owns this taxi?

Because there's no -

spare.

[Gidge] It's a nice bag.

[vehicle and caravan rattling]

[music playing on radio]

Should have left the

caravan back there.

It's not a caravan.

It's my home.

[Maxine] Cosy.

How long you been on

the road, preaching?

- Five years.

- Just you and your son?

You ask a lot of

questions, don't you?

Wife?

[clearing throat]

Radio check.

Radio check. Over!

[Gidge] We could pay

someone to help us.

Who?

No one out here.

[Gidge] Well, what

do we do then?

Wait.

Here, drink.

[sniffing]

[scoffing]

You're f*cked!

We, we, we need

to keep our fluids

Ah, ahhh

[vehicle rattling in distance]

[urgent music]

Hey! Wait!

Oh my God,

that's my dad!

What are you doing?

[Robert] What are you doing?

I saw something.

[flies buzzing]

[Robert] It's a bloody

goose chase!

I'm having a piss and

then we're turning back.

[undoes zipper]

[urine splashing]

[Robert farting]

Ah sh*t! Dribbly d*ck.

f*cking Robyn

Oh, f*cking hell.

[Robert] You just bloody

make yourself at home,

why don't you - just f*cking

Oh, sorry, I was just

Would you mind tying me up?

[Robert exhaling]

Oh yeah

[clearing throat]

- You alright?

- Oh yeah.

[Robert] There

Well, ah, you ready

to head back?

[Robert coughing nervously]

They're my son's.

He's got a dirty mind.

You're quite a bloke,

aren't you Robert?

You could drop me

at a roadhouse.

I'm sure I could hitch a ride

back to Coober Pedy.

Oh

Well, I mean, I guess,

I guess we could keep going.

Yeah?

[Robert] There's a lot of

bad blokes on the road.

A lot of real sickos, you know?

You're a good man, Robert.

Ahh

Try my best.

["Here I Am" by

Chad Morgan playing]

They tell me

you've been looking ♪

For someone

to hold you tight ♪

To give you lots of lovin' ♪

While the moon

is shining bright ♪

Well, here I am ♪

Who was that?

It's her taxi.

Well, I'm loaded down

with sex appeal ♪

For the women yes it's true ♪

So if want lots of lovin' ♪

Well, here I am

I'm the bloke for you ♪

You tell me you've

been hunting around ♪

For the bloke with

a kiss like fire ♪

Well, your hunting days

are over, girl ♪

If that's all you desire

'cause here I am ♪

I'm a perfect specimen

the kind of a bloke ♪

That all the sorts

would wanna win ♪

'Cause now I don't

want to skite too much ♪

That's not the thing to do ♪

But if you wanna

kiss with fire ♪

Well here I am

I've got that too ♪

[Gidge exclaiming]

[caravan rattling]

Did you know if you cup

the air with your hand,

it feels like you're

caressing a breast.

Yeah?

Give it a go.

Ah, no, I'm good.

What kind of a bloke are you?

Go on!

There he goes.

How's it feel?

- [Maxine chuckling]

- Yeah. Nice.

'Legend'.

That's all I know about him,

his name.

Well, I, I think, um,

I think that's the horse.

What?

Legend - that's the,

it's the horse.

Your dad's name's is, um

Yeah, I think

Steve

Sanders.

Steve Sanders.

Steve?

My name's Robyn.

- f*ck! f*ck!

- What?

- Did they see me?

- Yes! Obviously.

- Get here!

- What? Why?

Oi! Hey! Over here.

Get here!

Why? What, what's wrong?

How, how come?

I don't understand.

- Did they see me?

- Yes, of course they saw you.

Robyn, they could help us.

We're not supposed

to be here?

[Gidge] Why?

[Robyn] Men's business.

- Well, I'm a man.

[people chattering]

[Maxine] Hey, sweetheart!

What are you doing

back in this sh*thole for?

Come here.

[kissing]

Little darling stole my taxi.

- Aboriginal?

- Yeah.

r*cist!

- You seen it?

- No, you'd be the first to know.

Oh, f*ck!

f*cking everything's

in that f*cking taxi.

- Drink?

- Yeah. Scotch.

Cheers.

How about you, love?

What can I get you

besides an eyeful of t*ts?

Oh, I was just

daydreaming about -

not, not about -

er, what was the question?

Drink?

He don't drink.

He's a preacher.

Yeah, no, I'll have a

Fanta on the rocks, thanks.

[chuckling]

What would you do

to them though?

- Hey?

- Those fun bags there?

Do you want to do them, Father?

Would you like -

would you want to like suck

on them like little baby Jesus?

You know

[makes sucking noises]

Ah

Yeah! I mean,

I guess, yeah.

Well, she's my wife.

- Yeah

- Yeah, yep

[Robert] How do youse

all know each other?

Oh, we all used

to work together.

Oh, what,

you're all taxi drivers?

- On our backs

- Huh?

Just 'cause I drive a taxi does

not make me a taxi driver.

Sorry, I, I don't follow.

- She's a prost*tute, mate.

- Was!

Oh right, I see.

[Sugar laughing]

[fire crackling]

[rustling]

- Did you hear that?

- Stop it.

Sorry.

[g*nsh*t]

[car horn tooting]

[Robyn] sh*t! sh*t!

[vehicle accelerating]

[Gidge] Okay, don't worry.

Don't worry.

[vehicle approaching

and stopping]

[Gidge] Okay, just, alright.

Just, just

Just stay there.

Stay back.

[Robyn] They're

going to grab you.

What are you doing?

- I'm defending you!

- Don't be a hero.

Stay back.

Robyn?

- What are they saying?

- I don't know.

- Why not?

- It's not my language.

[man laughing]

[men discussing in

Indigenous language]

[gentle upbeat music]

[Robyn sighing]

[Gidge laughing]

Jesus!

[engine starting]

[soft guitar chords]

[guitar silenced]

[car approaching]

[Maxine] It's not them.

[Robert] Been waiting for hours.

[Maxine] There's only one road.

We just have to wait.

Hypothetically

[clearing throat]

if one was to avail oneself

of your services

Well, you know,

how does that work?

Do you, do you have

different tiers and whatnot?

Tiers?

Well, yeah, like you know,

different prices

for different things.

- You want a root?

- Yeah, well

I wouldn't

put it like that, but

How much you got?

Um, I've got your fuel money.

What would that get me?

Oh

[licking sounds]

[Robert moaning and gasping]

[gasping and moaning]

[sharp exhales]

f*ck me dead!

[caravan door slamming]

[truck accelerating past]

Big Pete.

- [Pete on radio] Who's asking?

- It's Maxine.

You see my taxi?

Little darling stole it.

[Pete] One of your girls turn on

you, did they?

Something like that.

Putting the word out

to all the fellas.

There's a reward

for who helps me find it.

Not if I find it first.

- [electrical spark]

- Ow!

[Robyn VO] My pop,

Ringer, reckoned,

God is always watching -

big pervert.

Apparently we are all

God's children too.

Then where is he?

Just another drop dead Dad.

Men, hey, always

making trouble

and women coming

to their rescue.

But mess with us -

we'll strike you down and

you'll never see it coming.

[car approaching and passing]

["Ngurrapanya Tjayla" by

Isaac Yamma playing]