01x04 - Every Time The Sun Comes Up I'm In Trouble

[bunniefuu]

Oh, no.

Should be there in 20 minutes.

Want to play some music?

Mint crisp?

You know you can't get them
like this anywhere else
in the world.

Whatever they put into them
here - maybe it's the grass,
or the cows -

but this is one authentic
Irish experience.

This is your heritage
right here.

No?

Look, he pulls this sh*t
all the time.

There. It's ringing.

Wha...?

What do I do if he answers?

We're sorry, but you have
reached a number
that is disconnected

or is no longer
in service.

I wasn't not telling you.

He's just...

He's not reliable.

- Can you pull over?
- I can't... I can't stop here.

Please, just stop!

Okay, please don't be mad.

I found it in your old bedroom.

Isn't it so beautiful?

- Get out.
- What?

- Get out.
- No!

:
Get the f*ck out!

- You can't just--
- You're a f*cking thief.

Oh! Hello, pot.
It's me, kettle.

- You stole from me first!
- What?

You think I didn't see you
snatch that fifty?

Oh! That was money.
That... that's different.

- Oh, is it?
- No, this is
really f*cking messed up.

You said you'd drive me
to Galway. That was the deal.

- Yeah. You're in Galway.
- We're outside of Galway.

There. Galway.

Now f*ck off!

You are actually
totally f*cking insane!

- Do you know that?
- Pot! Kettle!

You're a f*cking psycho b*tch!

Don't throw those at me!
You could hit my eye!

Get the f*ck out!

And take this f*cking box
from your daddy.

Fine.
You know what?

Take your...

- f*cking money.
- Yeah!

Well, I f*cking earned it.

You know what your problem is?

Oh, yeah, tell me
what my f*cking problem is!

You're so f*cking busy
feeling sorry for yourself

you're wasting
your whole f*cking life.
You better get busy living.

What the f*ck
does that even mean?

Don't touch it!

I am embarrassed
to be related to you.
- Yeah? Me, too!

You can't just leave me here!

It's not safe!

No! Come on!

Ah, yeah.

- Needs a new intercooler.
- How much?

Two seventy, including parts.

- Two hundred and seventy euros?
- Hm.

You've got to be
f*cking joking me?!

In this life, you pay now
or you pay later.

- Wait!

Do I look like someone
who's not busy living to you?

- Let's call it 250, hm?

Fine.

Look, can I... can I wait
while you work?

Yeah.

Well, if you want to sleep here.

You'll be lucky if this is up
and running tomorrow afternoon.

f*ck!

Sorry.

Hi. Excuse me. Sorry.

Um, do you know a James...
Jimmy... Molloy?

He's a musician.

Right.

Sorry...

Um, could I get a beer?

You've reached Steve.

I'm sorry I can't come to the
phone right now because...

:
...Sarah, do the bit!
: Oh, right.

: We're engaged!

I can't believe you have
your phone off right now

while I am traveling
in a foreign country, alone!

I could be being r*ped
or stabbed right now

and where were you?

It's my first time in Galway.

It's a really lovely city.

Oh, Jesus!

Oh!

Oh, God!

- 'Tis yourself?
- Gabe...

Um... yeah.

I-I-I just... I just wanted
to... to return this.

- She sounds like a right c**t.
- No!

I'm the c-u-n-t.

I'm the one who stole the box.

You wanted to hold a piece
of your father in your hands.

- Exactly!
- I get it!

It's like this breakup I had.

He was a complete b*stard.

When it was over,
I took his entire sound system.

And his car.

- Well, it's-it's not exactly
like that, but I--
- It is.

It is.

It... it is. You're right.

Similar.

Well, the prognosis is good.

You'll live.

Just lift your head up.

All right.
There you go.

Just leave your clothes outside
and I'll get them sorted
for you.

Come on, then, uh?
Come on!

Hey.

You all right?

- Thanks for doing that.
- No worries.

- Glass of wine?
- Mm.

Hopefully it'll dry quickly.

Yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
Stick it on here.

I, uh, made you something.

For your birthday.

Oh?

Wasn't sure if I was, uh,
ever going to get to give it
to you,

or, um, if you'd even want it.

- Depends what it is.
- Cheeky as ever.

- Is it a million pounds?
- Hm.

Wow.

It's, um, it's...

it's...
it's beautiful.

Th... thank you.

No worries.

Happy birthday.

- So?
- Yeah.

- Canada?
- Yeah, guilty. "Eh."

Ah.
Do you know what?

You have a real, um,
Joni Mitchell thing about you.

Do I?

No one's ever said that
to me before.

- Do ya sing?
- Oh, yeah!

Well, I used to.

Um, no, I was in a-a choir
in school and, um...

yeah,
I-I had a solo once.

Hm. Yeah.
Bet you have a lovely voice.

Merry Christmas.
: Please, stop.

What's that?

Mm.

Hmm...

It's a bit of metal and a rock.

Looks like a promise.

Look, I, uh...

I don't want to do anything
you're going to regret.

Mm-mm.

No.

What if I told you
I'm only marrying him

'cause it's what my mother wanted

and I'm suddenly overwhelmed

by an acute sense
of my own mortality.

No!

Seriously, like...

I'm looking at you right now
and I can see you...

...dead.

Oh, you're creepy.

I...

What?

I forgot.

What?

Mm...

I'm on my period.

Oh.

That's okay.

Um, I'm cool with that.

Cool.

Oh, that should do the trick.

Wait...

Should I take off the plaster?

Jesus, no.
Leave it on.

Condom.

No, Susan, we don't need one.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I've been doing a lot
of thinking since you left.

No more messin'.

Ah, do you have a condom?

What?

We're in your room.

I, uh...

I don't have a condom.

It's okay 'cause I...

I'm already bleeding,
so I-I can't get pregnant.

No, it's, uh...

I mean, I...

I don't even know ya.

I don't even know you.

Here's what's going
to happen now.

I'm going to f*ck you.

That's what's going to happen.

Oh-kay!
Um, sorry.

I, uh...

I need a sec.
I, um...

- So.
- So.

You'll come back?

Oh, come on, Susan!
Let me see your face.

f*ck you!

This is good, though.

Yeah.

- It is.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

- You are f*cking sh1tting me.
- Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t.
Who's that?

- No idea.
- You expecting someone?

Nope.

Oh, sh*t!

- Should I come out?
- No, stay, stay.

Billie, darling!
Are you okay?

- f*ck!
- I had a bad dream
at the sleepover.

Oh, no!
You all right, Lisa?

Yeah. Look, sorry.
You know how it goes.

No worries.
Thanks for bringing her back.

- All right.
- All right, cheers. Bye.

Look, there's somebody here.

They're playing a bit of
hide and seek at the moment.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

- Boo!
- Boo!

- Suzie!
- Billie, beauty!

I know I must have one
in here somewhere.

It's okay. Look, um,
the mood's kinda ruined.

I mean...

Yeah. Sorry.

You know, I can...

I can buy you new sheets.

I should probably
get some sleep.

I have a big gig tomorrow.

Oh, please.

For five geriatric drunks
in an empty pub?

Sorry.

You're actually
a really good singer.

Can I just stay here?
With you?

I can sleep on the floor.

I really don't have
anywhere to go.

I miss my mum.

She died.

Yeah, y-you said.

She was a horrible woman.
Horrible!

I mean, she never let a day
go by

without letting me know
what a big f*cking
disappointment I was.

Now, I'm sure she loved you.

She didn't.

She...

She tolerated me, I think.

Ah, here, look, um,
really sorry about your mum,
and everything,

but, uh, I really need
to get some sleep.

Okay.

Um, I'm sorry.

Um, yeah, I'll just...

Excuse me.

Um, sorry.

Hey. No.

Um...

Are you having a baby?

What? No!

Daddy can't have
any more babies.

Why?
'Cause he's so old?

- No!!

He got a snip snip.

He went to the hospital

and when he came home,
he had a very sore...

: ...willy.

Boys and their willies!

You all right?

Nearly good to go.
Have a seat.

Here we go!

Ready.

Dig in.

Cheers.

Mmm.
Christ, that's good now, huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good.

- Christ! What the f*ck?

You had a f*cking vasectomy
without telling me?!

Susan! Christ!
What are you doing?

Six f*cking years together

and you-you don't think
of mentioning the detail
that you cut your d*ck off?!

Well, I didn't...
you know they don't actually
cut your d*ck off?

Earlier when I asked
about a condom?

Yeah, that's what I meant!

Jesus Christ!
I thought you'd be happy!

Are you insane?!

I just wanted to do something
to help with all
the f*cking ambiguity!

I mean, you were all over
the place about having kids
before you f*cking up and left!

Yeah! Because it was always
on your terms!

What terms?!

Listen to me:
in our first year together,

I asked you
about us having a kid.

- No, you didn't!
- I did!

In that shitty pub
on the river.

You were wearing
that weird green hoodie.

f*ck sake!
We talked about lots of things.

You said
you'd consider it with me.

Maybe I did consider it.
But it wasn't right.

And you didn't think
of telling me that?

Well, maybe if you weren't
drunk for half of our
relationship, I would have!

Oh, that's f*cking rich,
coming from you.

You had nothing - nothing -
when we met!

And now you're saying that
the reason you were pissed
for most of our relationship

was because
I didn't give you enough?!
Jesus!

And I see you still can't load
the bastin' dishwasher.

f*ck the dishwasher!

You can pack
a f*cking dishwasher!

So what?
It's not about doing sh*t.

It's about listening.
You never f*cking listen to me.

- Ever!
- Daddy?

Billie goat.

Sorry, darling.
Did we, um, did we wake you up?

Yeah.

Oh, come here.
Let's see.

We're just playing a silly game.

Okay.

- Down you go.
- There's a lot of shouting.

Oh, Jesus.

Ah, I knew it!

- Mam...
- Praise the Lord.

- It's not a good time.
- There he is!

Look so handsome, Gabe.

Like one of them fellas
from Bridgerton.

Sheryl, it's not really
a very good time, I'm afraid.

Did ya make that table,
Gabriel?

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I did.

Did ya know that
Jesus was a carpenter?

Yeah. Okay.

I'm sorry we woke Billie.

Mm.

Listen...

it's not about wanting a kid.

You're right.

I am all over the place
about it.

And you're right...

I... I can't pack
a f*ck' dishwasher.

I just...

I just want for you
to want to know...

what's going on in my head.

You see, what I'm hearing is,

"I want, I want, I want."

And I actually don't get
what it is that you want, anymore.

You know, I've nothing left.

I'm sorry,

but I don't think I can give you
whatever it is
that you think you need.

I thought me having
the f*cking...

...would make things easier.

Yeah.

Well, um,

you're right.

It has.

Luna! Luna.

What the f*ck are you doing?

- I want to go home!
- Oh, God!

Canada!

Be careful.

: I want to go home.

I want to go home!

: I want to go home!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.