01x02 - The Estate

[bunniefuu]

[tranquil classical music playing]

[peasant 1] Good job, Jędrula!

Thanks!

- [peasant 2] Hi, Jędrula.

- Hi.

- [peasant 2] Thanks for today.

- [Jędrula] You bet.

- [peasant 3] Keep up the good work.

- [Jędrula] Yeah.

[peasant 4] We're so proud of you,

Jędrula!

[animals calling]

[peasant 5] Jędrula! You're the best!

Hi. Thanks. You too. Thank you.

- [music stops]

- [wind whistling]

[exhales]

Jędrula. This is an intervention.

[thuds]

[Jan Paweł] We've all been worried

about your behavior for quite some time.

You were always the life of the party.

Full of energy. Always joking around.

However, that seems

to have changed recently.

And it's obvious

that it's got to do with alcohol.

That's right. Alcohol wasn't good for me.

Jędrula, it's time for you to wake up.

- [horse neighs]

- [stomps]

[inhales]

[breathe out] So, since you've stopped

drinking booze, you haven't slept well.

All your tossing and turning

disturbs my sleep too.

But when I was drinking, I'd fall asleep

outside by the fence.

- Sometimes, I'd mess my pants.

- That's right!

And that was always your trademark.

Remember what they used to call you?

[swallows] sh*t-stained Jędrula.

sh*t-stained Jędrula!

You were building your brand.

You had a handle,

just like Casimir the Great.

You were bringing your fellow peasants joy

in these troubled times.

- [stomps]

- [chair scraping]

Remember when you'd run

around the town naked,

chasing folks with a hatchet,

threatening to m*rder them?

- That was funny.

- [Jędrula] Ha. Hey, you know

maybe I really have lost

some of my positivity and joy.

- [laughs nervously]

- Yeah. [stomps]

I've got to listen to everyone gossiping

at church about how you are not drinking.

[softly] Yeah.

[sighs]

I had no clue it'd be

such a burden for you.

This is what family and friends do.

They lift you up when you hit rock bottom.

- God bless you.

- [goat bleats]

[footsteps approaching]

[liquor sloshing]

Jędrula, one more thing.

Remember that you won't find

cheaper vodka than at my inn.

And if you don't drink?

[all] Then you stink.

[sublime classical music playing]

[music stops]

[hinges creaking]

[chicken clucking]

- Today is market day.

- [solemn music plays]

- [indistinct speaking and shouting]

- Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop!

Our nobility's economy is mostly based

on exporting our grain to the West,

and importing all kinds of luxury goods.

Thanks to that,

we have no need to develop technology.

And when I told my Italian friend

about our economy, he said two words.

"Polacco," meaning "Polish,"

and "stupido," meaning "Europe's granary."

That's what we're known for. [laughs]

[affectionately] Cluck, cluck, cluck!

- [birds honking]

- [indistinct chattering]

Oh. [chuckles] It's Anielka.

- Where are you off to?

- I've got a few errands to run.

Don't go into the woods,

or a Swede might try to kidnap you!

- Dad, you're such a xenophobe.

- Oh! [laughs]

You too, sweetheart. Bye-bye now.

Ah. [laughs tenderly]

[Jan Paweł] Bogdan,

here's a riddle for you.

What starts with "W-H" and runs Poland?

wh*res.

- It's wheat, Bogdan.

- Ah.

It ensures this country's prosperity.

[sighs deeply] These are desperate times.

There've been years

of bad crops, w*r, disease.

- Which is why we should all be grateful.

- Hello, neighbor!

[lively music playing]

[horses neighing]

[dogs barking in the distance]

[horse nickers]

[coins clinking]

I'd love to tell you about some

of the improvements that made my farm so

- [Jan Paweł] Hey! Get outta here!

- prosperous Woah!

[Jan Paweł] Beat it, Andrzej!

This isn't your story!

[poultry clucking]

For some reason, Andrzej's peasants

produce more crops than mine do.

And that mean b*stard

won't tell me his secret.

You should know

that Andrzej is a real scumbag.

- [rhythmic drum music playing]

- [distant laughter]

Simply put, the man is evil.

- [bird squawks]

- [splatters]

[Jan Paweł] The village name Adamczycha

comes from the name Adamczewski.

Adamczycha used to belong to my ancestors.

- [geese honking]

- All the different halves of it.

[wood creaking]

[thuds]

[Jan Paweł] I'm the fourth Adamczewski

to run the family estate.

And it was always the pride

of this province.

But as soon as I took over,

it suddenly started to decline.

That's what I call bad luck.

[Jan] Then, suddenly, Andrzej showed up.

PURCHASE AND SALE AGREEMEN

After my beloved wife passed away,

I decided I needed a change of scenery.

I was looking for respite and

He moved here

because he k*lled somebody's wife

or something like that. I don't know.

Either way, the jerk took advantage

of my six-year streak

of bad luck and vulnerability,

and bought up half of my village.

- [stamp thuds]

- [Zofia] Yeah. The bigger half.

That's not the point.

And besides, size doesn't really matter.

Only people with small villages say that.

[Jan Paweł] Even if it doesn't

totally belong to me for the time being,

Adamczycha is my happy place.

In this village, I was born.

And here, in this village,

when the bell finally tolls for me,

my body shall be buried.

Not my heart, though.

My heart will be laid to rest

at Wawel Castle.

- [cows mowing]

- [sheep bleating]

[farm animals calling]

[tearing]

[Maciej] Does anything else need

to be hanged?

I don't know.

Maybe we could hang all of the nobility.

First, we could pluck out their eyes,

and then we could cut out their

lying tongues.

- [poultry honking]

- [dog barking]

Or we could just hang their skins.

I'm fine either way.

- [metal clanging]

- [dog barks]

- [villager speaking indistinctly]

- [door thuds]

[chickens clucking]

I'm on a mission

to meet with the peasants today.

We've been going through decades

of increasingly bad weather.

What we're witnessing is

definitely climate change.

We must act now.

Fellow humans, we all need

to have a serious discussion.

Imminent climate change means

that our lives here on this planet

are being put at great risk.

CLIMATE DISASTER IS COMING

- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

- [cow moos]

I knew this would happen.

We all had it too good.

At the University of Heidelberg,

scientists claim

that unless we change our habits now

the results will be nothing less

than catastrophic.

- [bell tolling]

- Bodzio, grab my pitchfork.

You got it!

That sounds pretty terrifying.

How much time do we have?

In 380 years,

the changes will be irreversible.

380 Years?

Well, screw that, then.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure

it must seem like ages from now

but the sooner we start

For example, we could begin with, uh,

our cattle herding practices.

Their gaseous emissions

poison the atmosphere.

I don't know.

Seems like we've still got some time.

- Yeah. Maybe if it was 100 years from now.

- Or even 30.

Thirty sounds more terrifying.

We'd definitely do something then.

We would be utter morons

if it turned out that in 30 years

climate change was upon us

and we still hadn't done anything.

[valiant drum music playing]

[paper rustles]

- [music stops]

- [footsteps receding]

[cow moos]

- [woodpecker tapping]

- [horse neighs]

[Jan Paweł] Everybody needs

to keep an ear to the ground.

[device rattling]

[Jan Paweł] We have to find out

why our manor is failing

compared to that idiot Andrzej's manor.

- So, seek and ye shall find?

- Exactly.

Then, we should

wring the peasants out like rags.

- Is that in the Bible too?

- Sort of.

[peasants shouting rhythmically]

- [man yells]

- [shouting stops]

Stanisław, we're deliberating here.

You're going to inherit all of this,

but you just sit there

on your picture all day.

- Gimme a break, will you?

- Put the picture away.

- Dad, in a minute!

- Not in a minute! Now!

Life's passing you by.

- [peasants resume rhythmic shouting]

- That's better.

I expect a full report

on your day at dinner tonight.

[Stanisław] Get to work!

[heavenly music playing]

That carpenter looks familiar.

- [sloshing]

- [flies buzzing near the rats]

Let's go over it again.

What should we put in the stove?

[both] Wood logs.

And what don't we put in the stove?

- Dead rats. No dead rats!

- Dead dead rats!

Yes! Good work, girls.

Oh, hey! How's the "climate"

in Adamczycha today?

- [scoffs]

- Hm, okay.

Maybe not the best joke,

but still, it wasn't that bad.

Hey.

Are you mad at me?

I don't know. Are we doomed

because of your climate-change denial?

- Sure. We're all doomed. [chuckles]

- The fire of change starts with a spark.

You've made it harder

for me to reignite it.

- Well, you got 380 years to keep trying.

- [woman 1] Hey! It's cold in here!

Bring me some of those dead rats!

[woman 2] Ula!

There's a bunch more in here!

I thought you were cool, but I was wrong.

[melancholic lute music playing]

[frogs croaking]

[Jan Paweł] Grzegorz. [sighs]

We're taking an inventory of the estate

and there's just one small thing

about your work habits

that seem suspicious to us.

We've noticed that,

on the days you work your own land,

you use a horse

to pull the cart out in the fields.

However, on the days you work

for your serfdom,

the days you work for us,

it would seem your cart is being pulled

by your father-in-law instead.

[horse neighs in the distance]

I've got the attendance report here.

You see? Monday to Thursday,

it's all your father-in-law.

Friday and Saturday, it's the horse.

It's like that every single week.

[puffs]

Do you think that someone got confused

when they wrote it down?

- And thought he was a horse?

- Right.

My father-in-law has a pretty oblong face

and big horse teeth.

With the sun behind him,

someone could easily get confused.

[horses neighing]

[chuckles]

Grzegorz, someone might've confused

your father-in-law for a horse

once or twice,

but we're talking weeks now.

Everyone knows what a horse looks like.

[chuckles]

Now, let's see

how he tries to get out of this one.

[chuckles]

Your Lordship,

I believe our dispute comes from

you underestimating my father-in-law

and overestimating the horse.

I'm sorry, what?

Well, people nowadays are just crazy

about the horse-ification of labor.

They're saying that, by the 18th century,

horses will be performing most

of the tasks that peasants do now.

But I believe that's just a pipe dream.

I mean, let's think about it.

[fading] How can one replace

the mighty but humble peasant

[curious music playing]

It's him, for sure.

I knew it.

I mean, what are the odds

that the Savior would come back

in my lifetime, let alone to my village?

I'm thinking, maybe three percent, tops.

JEW'S

[indistinct chattering]

[Aniela] Not quite.

Yes

Yes! Very good.

[cheerful folk music playing]

And where does this go?

- And this?

- [taps]

[music stops]

- Someone's caught your eye.

- Who?

- The noblewoman.

- [scoffs] What?

- Hasn't she?

- No.

[sighs] That's just like me.

I always seem to put my foot in my mouth.

Everyone's like, "Oh, he's a Jew."

"He's super smart,

so he's always scheming.''

[breathes heavily]

And yet, no one's ever invited me

to join in on a single scheme.

Except, you know

that Jewish scheming thing

is just a bad stereotype. Right?

Sure. I know, I know, I know.

- A stereotype. [scoffs]

- Mm.

Or maybe

Or what?

Or maybe all Jews are schemers.

And I'm the only one

who never gets invited along,

because I'm stupid, and I can't hack it.

[breathes heavily]

- [utensils clattering]

- [patrons laughs in the background]

Good.

- Okay. You were right.

- [whimsical music playing]

What about?

[discreetly] The lady.

She sorta caught my eye a little bit.

- [happily] Yeah? [chuckles]

- Mm-hmm. You see?

You're a very perceptive guy.

[chuckles softly] Maciej.

- [hands clasp]

- Jew.

[chuckles softly]

[flies buzzing]

- [handle creaks, clatters]

- [water trickling]

[chickens clucking]

One hundred and ninety-nine

Hey there. Why are you going through

the muck like that?

It's for the noblewoman.

- Two hundred.

- [clinks]

- [smashing]

- [tearing]

- [indistinct chattering]

- For you.

Thank you, Father.

[heavenly music playing]

I find it pretentious

when people act differently

around celebrities.

When I'm with Jesus, I act normal.

- [indistinct chattering]

- [utensils clinking]

I don't think I'm gonna eat today.

It's the seventh meal I've given away.

Some people here call me

"The Last Good Samaritan."

He's just a regular guy. Except, he's God.

What's your name, dear fellow?

[chewing] Marian.

My mother's name was Mary,

so that's what she called me.

You're kidding.

Your mother was Mary.

I'm a 33-year-old man,

and the name still embarrasses me.

Thirty-three. Oh!

[door creaks open]

[exhales] I'm taking your advice.

We'll t*rture the peasants

until they talk.

Uh, no.

I don't think I ever said to do that.

What're you talking about?

When I asked what to do about Grzegorz,

you told me to beat him for hours.

Uh, what I meant was

you should beat him for hours with love.

No. I'm positive you told me

to beat him senseless with a flail.

It was just a metaphor, Dad.

[breathes heavily]

If you want the peasants to work harder,

that's fine.

But convince them to do it

with the flail of your arguments.

That's what I meant. [chuckles nervously]

- [laughs awkwardly] Mm.

- [cheerful music playing]

[footsteps receding]

- [chews]

- [chuckles nervously]

Jakub got me thinking.

In the past, I've always used

the "carrot and the stick" approach

with the workers.

The carrot was for the oxen,

and the stick was for the lazy peasants.

Now, I'll use the strength

of my arguments.

I'll use persuasion

to make them work harder.

[whip cracks]

Or I'm not the most famous Jan Paweł

in the history of Poland.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to our very first

motivational session, called

"Adamczycha, Where Your Fate Is Sealed."

- [chickens trilling]

- [man 1] That sounds a bit sinister.

- What does?

- The idea that our fates are sealed.

Like, forever.

Or like we're surrounded by wolves,

or Mongols.

- I'm scared.

- [laughs]

No, there are no wolves or Mongols.

Your fates are all sealed

in a positive way.

I'd like my peasants

to believe in themselves.

After all, everyone's the architect

of their own fortune.

I mean, not literally.

If I had an architect,

his fortunes would be mine for the taking.

Therefore, I'm the architect

of the architect's fortune.

- [man 1] Your Lordship?

- What?

I think a better motivating factor

might be if there were

harvest-time profit-sharing initiatives

in place for us serfs.

Lord Andrzej's farm works that way.

- [man 2] Mm-hmm.

- [laughs with contempt]

So that's what his secret is?

[all agreeing]

Well then, Andrzej might just be

the biggest idiot since Galileo.

Don't you know that you all participate

in serfdom profit-sharing already?

- Maybe you can elaborate?

- [breathes heavily]

[hesitatingly] Well

[quietly] Uh

Maybe you've heard about

the trickle-down theory?

The rising tide lifts all of the boats.

- Are we the tide or the boat?

- [all murmur nervously]

So, is this tide going to seal our fates?

It's, uh

[breathes heavily]

Grzegorz, are you kidding?

Your father-in-law is out in the field,

and you came here with your horse?

[classical instrumental music playing]

- [Zofia] What are you doing here, peasant?

- [gasps]

- [stammers] Father Jakub told me to.

- Told you to do what?

To make myself at home.

- [footsteps approaching]

- [Jakub humming]

- Jakub? What's going on here?

- [water trickling]

You're not gonna believe it, Mother.

It's him.

[heavenly music playing]

[Jakub] Mother doesn't believe

that Marian is Jesus,

and so, we need

to perform a confirmation miracle.

I summoned some impartial witnesses

to ensure a scientific environment

in which the miracle could be performed.

Once it's done, everyone will be all,

"Hail Father Jakub!

You found Jesus for us!" [sniffs]

And also, "Hail Jesus for coming back."

Hail Jakub and Jesus.

In alphabetical order.

[exhales deeply]

- [mysterious music playing]

- [poultry honking in the background]

Peasant, I have just one request for you.

Of course, my lady.

Walk to the center of the pond.

Excuse me?

I'm asking you to walk on water,

and get yourself

to the center of the pond.

If you're able to do that,

then I'll release you from your serfdom

forever.

Did you hear that?

You'll be free if you do it.

That's certainly the upside,

but I can also see some drawbacks.

I've got to be able to walk

to the center of the pond,

which is impossible.

And you also can't swim.

Yeah. That's another drawback.

I heard someone say that,

in 20 years, looking back on our lives,

we're gonna regret the things we didn't do

but not regret the things that we did do.

That's good. Makes you think a lot.

Right? Because, here in Poland,

we fixate on the negative.

It's this "no-can-do" attitude.

It's everywhere.

Mm.

Mm.

- [man] Mm.

- [horse neighs in the distance]

Screw it. I'll give it a try.

I can't wait to see your face!

[wooden floor tapping loudly]

[water splashing]

[pants, screams]

[water gurgling]

- [birds squawking]

- Oh.

A false prophet.

[sighs] Unfortunately, it turns out

that the only thing that made any

of the peasants leave their comfort zone

was the flail.

The real one,

not the one from Jakub's parable.

The only problem is

That Anielka gets really angry with me

when I use it.

And nothing hurts more

than the look of disapproval

on your sweet child's face.

- [whip whooshes, cracks]

- [sheep bleats]

[sighs angrily]

[Jan Paweł] Fortunately,

there's another approach that leaders use.

Lying your a*s off.

[indistinct chattering]

LETTER FROM THE KINK

This is incredible.

How incredible!

This letter, from the King,

says that our estate has been qualified

for an experimental program.

[all murmuring excitedly]

The program in question

will increase mandatory serfdom duties

from four to five days a week.

[all groan in disappointment]

- Come on, King!

- [table thuds]

[chuckles softly]

Bogdan, did you really get this

from the king's messenger?

Yes, I did.

- He came on a bay horse.

- [gasps]

He handed me the letter

and just rode right off.

Oh! Yeah?

[chicken clucking]

Mm Yeah, he was

in a rush to get to his son's birthday.

[all murmur in frustration]

He also said,

on top of having one son, he had

two daughters.

- [all murmur perplexedly]

- [man] Huh?

The overwhelming amount

of details in your story proves

that it must've happened!

- [merry music plays]

- [chickens cluck]

I now have to live

with the burden of this lie.

But that's part of what

makes a great leader.

[weapons clattering]

His willingness to make sacrifices

for his community.

[indistinct yelling]

But the most important thing is

that my estate will work more efficiently.

[laughing] And now that idiot Andrzej

[fire crackling]

Somebody set my grain on fire!

[groaning]

[sobbing]

[breathes heavily]

[door slams, clatters]

[proudly] It was me!

sh*t-stained Jędrula!

Jędrula!

You stupid drunkard! What have you done?!

[downhearted music playing]

[sighs]

[sighs]

- [sighs]

- [dog barking in the distance]

[Marianna] Aniela?

How's that climate change going?

Because it still snowed, as usual.

[breathes deeply, sighs]

Convincing the peasants

to change their habits

has proven to be very difficult.

People inherently fear change,

and they refuse to give up

even an inch of their comfort.

- Humans.

- I prepared a nice hot bath for you.

[soft lute music playing]

And your supper will be ready soon.

Would you like an appetizer?

Yes, please.

On the other hand, 380 years?

We might still have some time.

[Maciej] Aniela!

[music stops]

[panting]

I wanted to let you know, uh

that I've decided to change my stance.

Did you puke all over yourself?

- [fly buzzing]

- No, uh I'm, uh

I mean, it was a close call

because I spent, like,

three hours digging beans

out of the leftovers for the cattle.

[sighs]

You may not be aware of this,

because I know girls don't fart,

but, um, beans cause a lot of flatulence

and I tried to limit the

cows' gas emissions.

You know, that's the strangest theory

I've ever heard.

And it's also the sweetest thing

anyone has ever done for me.

I accept your apology.

- [clears throat]

- [fly buzzing]

But I'm going to go inside now,

because you smell foul. [chuckles softly]

[soft lute music resumes]

[door shuts]

It's the smell of victory.

You know, if anything ever happens

between me and Aniela,

I'll be able to say

that it all started because of cow farts.

[laughing] I've always been

pretty romantic.

[concluding musical note plays]

Obviously, nothing's gonna happen.

Aniela's a noblewoman.

[Stanisław screaming euphorically]

[laughs loudly]

- [exciting music playing]

- [door creaks open]

[panting]

You wanted me

to do something today, right?

[shouts excitedly] Well, I got engaged

- [concluding chords play]

- [Jan Paweł] Hm.

[in normal voice]to a city girl.

- Oh.

- [groans]

[sublime classical music playing]