01x03 - Bae Gets to Work

[bunniefuu]

Truth? More like a truly dishonest!

Liar, liar!

Prada on fire.

-She didn't go to LA.

-Indigenous?

If he is Indigenous

-It's impossible to control Bae.

-then I am Greta Thunberg.

-She just won't stop speaking her mind.

-Never seen a more fake person in my life.

And trust me I've been around my

fair share of South Delhi nose jobs.

Hey, Bae!

Indigenous?

Preaches local, parades in Prada.

Even if I go blind, I could

tell it's Prada just by feeling it.

That shirt is Prada.

That jacket is Gucci.

And that pocket

square is Louis Vuitton.

Those glasses are Tom Ford.

Hey, guys! Orry is here.

Orry, Orry, Orry!

Who is this girl?

-That's Bae.

-Bae?

Well, Bae is giving some

serious fashion wisdom.

Call Me Bae.

Hey, Bae!

Hey, Bae!

Hey, Bae!

Wherever you walk by

You light up the world

With your words

With your eyes

You light up every path

The world awaits you

Where have you been all this while?

Hey, Bae!

The way you slay

Your ways

Whatever you say

Hey, Bae!

The desires in your eyes

It's gonna be your day

The world awaits you

Hey, Bae!

Hey, Bae!

Indigenous that wears Prada

Even if I go blind, I could

tell it's Prada just by feeling it.

-That shirt is Prada.

-Damn, bro!

-Made my day!

-That jacket is Gucci.

-Did you see how she said it?

-Honesty?

Truth? More like a truly dishonest!

High five, bro.

Let's watch it again.

Shut it, he's outside.

Good morning.

Morning.

-Oat milk?

-Yes, sir.

Thursday Mourning Meet!

As usual.

Since every Thursday

is a funeral of real news

And of the channel as well.

Because we get our ratings.

And for a channel that's called TRP,

there's only one show

that actually gets them.

So, let's start with the Sports Desk.

Ashish?

Sure, sir.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

India

is selected for

the World Championship.

-Wow!

-Good news.

Which sport?

-Boxing?

-No.

Fistball.

You mean volleyball, right?

It's like volleyball,

but not exactly volleyball.

Maybe they don't use

their fists in volleyball.

-Let me check, sir.

-Maybe they do.

Who cares if it's football,

or basketball, or meatballs?

Tell us is Pakistan playing or not?

How does that matter?

Every good story has Pakistan in it.

We know that, right?

Did you forget how to spell Pakistan?

It's P D-R-A-M-A. Yes?

Yes, but we are reporters.

We report facts, not manufacture stories.

All these facts

Do you really manage to sell them?

Are you a journalist or a salesman?

Well, let's find out.

By the way, did you manage to

see your show's ratings for today?

-Shobit!

-Yes, sir.

Turn on the projector so

that he can see his ratings.

Your ratings are the real facts.

Much more dramatic

than your well, show.

Guys, come on.

What grabs you the eyeballs Stephens?

is what eventually sells.

-Thank you.

-In advertising, maybe.

Not in journalism.

Journalism has changed, Nair.

Here's a fact.

Your show lacks spark.

Just like you do.

Oh, of course, you'll leave now.

You can hide behind

your facts and stats.

While I bring to my countrymen, the truth.

Truth?

More like truly dishonest.

Liar, liar.

Prada on fire.

Indigenous?

If he is Indigenous,

then I am like Greta Thunberg.

-Never seen a more fake person in my life.

-Who did that?

I'm so sorry, sir.

Now that was dramatic.

Just for my clarity.

Will we cover the

fistball championship, or

-just sit down.

-Let it be.

Forget it.

Bella.

It's Bae.

Please, sit.

Sorry.

It's a mess.

Sit.

Listen, I'm so sorry.

I had too much rum that night, and

I wasn't even thinking,

I was just rambling.

That's what I wanted to discuss.

Hi, I'm Neel.

Neel N. I know!

Oh, so you follow my show?

No, I just follow you online.

My in-laws sent you after me, right?

-What? No

-To keep my mouth shut!

No, that's not the case.

Wait, do you want to invite me

on Confessional?

-What?

-Listen, the answer is a big fat no.

I don't even watch the Confessional.

I called you to my office

because I saw your video.

I thought it was front-footed.

Brilliant and very witty.

What?

Yeah, and the best thing is

that there was honesty in it.

And that's exactly what I

am looking for in my team.

So, have you worked

at a news channel before?

Technically news channels usually

work for us but I have studied journalism.

-That's perfect

-Social media journalism.

-What? What's that?

-It's the need of the hour.

I did a summer course.

Our attention spans are diminishing,

and news is becoming compact.

I saw your account, don't mind.

But your posts don't have

any structure or intrigue.

That's probably why you

have only 1055 followers.

Now, 1056 including you.

Now do we have to follow a three-act

structure on social media as well?

Aren't you a fast learner?

Okay. So, take your post

from this morning for example.

Mumbai faces more floods than ever.

Sounds like a bot.

Where is your opinion?

Social media is all about outrage.

Maybe use question marks

instead of full stops.

-Okay.

-And please use hashtags.

With viral words.

-Also, you posted the link at 7:00 a.m.

-Okay.

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

I'm a morning person.

Yeah, but social media is

only woke after 11:00 a.m.

Anything earlier gets

very little engagement.

You don't use social media often, right?

But I'm not the type to scream

for attention.

Fake news is not my thing either.

It's not all fake.

Social media is like a slim mirror.

Slim mirror?

In fashion stores, they have those

mirrors that make you look slim.

It's you, but not what you are.

Instead, what you want to be.

You also don't shop often, right?

Do you dress like Obama every day?

I mean, your color palette

is a little limited.

Fifty Shades of Neel.

"Neel" means blue.

I got that.

Okay, wait.

Let me show you.

Okay wait.

"Will Mumbai be submerged by 2029?

Most rainfall ever!" Add exclamation.

#climatecrysis.

#climatechangeisreal.

Done.

Now wait and watch.

Okay.

I am offering you an

internship in my team.

Paid internship plus

travel allowance.

You'll handle my social media,

and you can also help me change

Your fashion sense!

Can you get over that?

-Okay.

-To change this place.

From "TRP First News"

into "TRP News First" again.

Okay, that too.

-Only that.

-Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Okay.

-Get to work.

-Okay!

You're sure, right?

-About?

-Me.

Yeah.

Thank you so much, Neel sir.

Thank you.

-Just Neel.

-Thank you.

Okay, bye.

Hey, Bae!

Hey, Bae!

It's all waiting for you

Your destiny

Hey, Bae!

Hey, Bae!

CONGO, BAE! YOU GOT A JOB.

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ONCE?

Hey, Bae!

Sorry, Prince.

But this is for your own good.

Hey, Bae!

Room number 208.

Hello. I'm at work.

Guess what?

TRP gave me a job

instead of suing me.

Wow! Stay blessed,

our very own Barkha Dutt!

-Amazing.

-January 21st.

I'm always gonna remember this date.

-The day I became a journalist.

-Indeed.

Wait!

Did you say 21st?

That means the day

after tomorrow is the 23rd.

Am I missing something?

No, Bae. I'm going to

finish three weeks in Losttel.

Oh!

Do one thing.

Get here, stat.

We have to figure this out.

Yeah, I'm coming.

Bye.

He was so impressed with me.

So apparently, I am witty,

front-footed, and startlingly honest.

Excuse me.

What are we doing here?

To check the offline status

of my online date.

Figuring out my next stay.

What?

Are you serious?

What if he is a serial k*ller?

From whatever I've seen,

he is a serial chiller.

Got any sequence, color, or pattern?

People like us don't strike it lucky,

madam.

Who are you here for?

Let me take care of that.

Luck will be on your side now.

sh*t! These cards really suck.

Don't worry, I am here.

Whether it's Blackjack or Rummy, no one

can win against me when money is involved.

Can you help me get a pure sequence?

Hundred percent.

I just need a simple favor.

Sure, madam.

What can you tell me about

Jimmy Wadia from 801?

He was sick last week,

but he is fine now.

You know, as a family we only

wore bespoke PPE suits from LV.

I am the first man in my family

to ever wear a suit.

Even if it was just a PPE suit.

Your cards are getting better.

Your luck is changing too.

Tell me more about Jimmy.

Is he independent?

Does he buy his own groceries?

He orders online.

Organic only.

Aggy and I loved our

organic farms in Bordeaux.

I also have an organic farm in Bihar.

Really?

What do you grow?

Kale for the pale.

Oh, my God!

You mean, kale?

Same pinch, brother.

Will you come to the farmer's market

with me?

I have never seen

a real farmer there.

Actually, when I asked about him, I wanted

to know if he is kind-hearted and warm,

or a tight-a*s Karen.

He wishes me good morning

and good night every day.

You know, I used to wish

my staff good morning

in Filipino, Spanish,

French, and Italian.

My mom sent me to

Switzerland to finish school.

I never finished school actually.

But "Penury" taught me Hindi,

Gujarati, Marathi, and everything.

Wait, so "Miss Penury" was

your linguistics teacher?

"Penury" means struggles.

Sometimes, I even have to

play Rummy for basic necessities.

I'm the one who is struggling, brother.

Your struggle is what our

dreams are made of, madam.

Where have I heard

that one before?

sh*t!

The opponent is asking for a draw.

Did I lose all my money?

No way!

Here, I helped you win the draw too.

You won 2000 rupees.

Congratulations!

Wow, ma'am!

You turned the tables and how!

2000 rupees?!

2000 rupees!

Okay. One last question.

Is it easy to get an auto-rickshaw here?

I'll help you get one

whenever you want.

-Nice!

-Aggy and I had our own chopper.

Whenever we felt like it

See you again. Chop-chop!

Chop-chop. Let's go.

-Bye, sir.

-Bye.

What was that all about?

Are you missing

Aggy or your privilege?

Missing the man who put me

on the streets and made me

Ms. Penury?

Never!

But

I do miss home.

You mean, privilege flashbacks?

It was difficult for me too

in the beginning.

But this addiction to freedom

is better than any other high.

Even more than betting.

So just forget about that chopper.

It flew away!

Yeah. I guess I have to

learn how to fly solo now.

Yeah. Ready for takeoff.

I didn't sleep all night, it's dawn

Will you notice my love for you?

I didn't sleep all night, it's dawn

Will you notice my love for you?

You trapped me in a maze

Who do I tell if not you?

Me and my heart are in this state

I get butterflies when I look at you

Trying to get close, trying to be brave

Your jokes have me falling for you

Whenever I look at you

Every time I look at you

Whenever I look at you

Every time

I love your skin

As beautiful as the moon

My heart is a kite

It has started to lose its way

Your beauty has trapped me

Wounded my pride

I can stay up all night

Just to see you once

Whenever I look at you

Every time I look at you

Whenever I look at you

Every time

-Whenever I look at you

-Whenever I look at you

-Every time I look at you

-Every time I look at you

-Whenever I look at you

-Whenever I look at you

-Every time I look at you

-Every time I look at you

Whenever I look at you

-Oh, my God!

-Hey, madam.

-Watch where you're going.

-Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry.

-Bae.

-Hi.

And you are Tam Ta

Tammarrah!

The spelling's wrong.

I've asked HR to add an extra 'H'.

Okay. To make it "H-HR"?

To my name.

Tammarrah Pawwarh R-H.

"Truth? More like truly dishonest!"

Gutsy stuff.

New to Mumbai?

Work, traffic, potholes,

stress, crowds.

Life's tough. You gotta stay on your

toes between 9:00-5:00 p.m. and beyond.

So find a home close to

work as soon as possible.

You can't afford to waste time.

If you pause, you exit. Move!

This level is for sports, business,

and entertainment.

Downstairs are the studios.

Where are you from?

Delhi.

So you are obviously used to

being home before sunset, right?

Who's your mentor?

Neel N.

Oh! Great guy.

Very boring.

I watch "In Depth with Neel" to meditate.

Oh.

What is that?

TV Journalism.

Hey, Tammarrah.

-Hey.

-Hi.

You didn't tell me if you're

coming to see the Fistball

Ashish.

It's not you, it's your life path number.

You're a four and I'm a seven.

It'll never work out.

I've fixed it.

It doesn't work that way.

Look. The possibility of us working out

is as difficult as a single female

journalist hunting for a flat to rent.

What does that mean?

Don't make an a*s out of yourself, boo.

By the way, that's your desk.

So, are you like the CEO?

Soon.

-Currently manifesting.

-Oh.

Junior reporter for now.

And that flat reference was for you.

Now, I'll take you to the place from

where you actually get your salary.

Accounts!

You have so much to learn.

Oh, by the way.

The Indigenous that wears Prada.

The world is yours.

Alright.

Let's go!

That's Versace, and I'm so dead.

Is he possessed?

Because that'll explain a lot of things.

The real exorcism

is about to begin now.

Mysore makes mashed mushrooms.

-Mysore makes

-Won't he lower his pitch?

Haven't you seen the show before?

-There is no place for low pitch here.

-Mysore makes mashed mushrooms.

Harleen.

Hi. I have a story on the future

of crypto in the Indian market.

-I

-Not now.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Okay

-What are we doing?

Why did you approach his PA?

That's not his PA.

That's Harleen Babbar.

Thirty-two.

She is the producer

of The Confessional.

But effectively, she is his associate.

His woman Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Sunscreen with 50 SPF.

UV filter, the black hole

that does not let light pass.

Without her, Satya

would truly be doomed.

-And she is

-Enough! I got it.

Going live in 30 seconds.

Ready to roll in five, four, three

Welcome

to the Confessional with Satyajit Sen.

Where truth always triumphs,

so that you're made aware of the deceit.

Viewers.

Today we have on our show, a star,

an actor

who became successful in the big bad world

of Bollywood quite early in their career.

In fact, viewers, there is

no award that this actor has not won.

So, please welcome to the show,

the very talented, toast of the town,

Naina Khanna, everybody!

-Naina, Hi.

-Hi, SS.

-So good to see you.

-Pleasure.

Tell me, Naina.

You must be very busy, right?

In fact, we had to invite her

multiple times on the show.

Busy means happy, right?

-In our business.

-You're happy?

Yes.

Because a little birdie tells me

that these days Naina Khanna

is dropping out of many projects.

What's going on, Naina?

Is it burnout?

Nothing like that.

I just don't wanna be type-casted.

I'm just waiting for the right script

and the right opportunity.

-The right opportunity?

-Yes.

Viewers, just like the Confessional

with Satyajit Sen is also the right

opportunity for any artist.

And yet, Naina, we had to pay you a

b*mb to be on the show this evening.

How can he say that?

Isn't this live?

Come on.

We are on National TV.

Have some shame!

That's the thing, Naina.

I don't really have any.

Same birdie also tells me,

that Naina Khanna was offered to play

Mother India in Mother India 2024.

Who tells you this?

But big news!

Hollywood calling Naina.

My God!

Hollywood has offered Naina

a part in their biggest franchise.

Naina Khanna, you are all

set to be the new Bond Girl.

-How do you know all of this?

-Now, viewers.

Some would say that leaving

such big projects is like

committing career suicide.

Or maybe, Naina is dropping

everything for something else.

For a much

-bigger role.

-That's not the case.

-It's just

-We'll find out about

this role in just a few months.

I wanna say

in seven months.

Naina Khanna needs

to stop lying to you.

That's not true, SS. It's

What can be greater than

stepping into the role of a mother?

Naina Khanna, you're not

playing Mother India 2024.

Because you are Mother India 2024.

Viewers, because Naina Khanna is

pregnant.

SS, stop.

Stick to the script.

What the f*ck, SS?

What is wrong with you?

Can we just cut?

It's not easy to be a mother, viewers.

Being a single mother

is even more difficult.

But not for her.

-SS, don't do this.

-Just like all her other roles,

Naina Khanna seems

ready for this role too.

Naina!

I must congratulate

the father as well.

Is he still around?

-In your life?

-A golden combo of sly and slimy.

You'll get me in trouble too.

SS, cut to a break.

We'll be back in five

minutes after this break.

With the glowing

Naina Khanna, everyone.

What the f*ck, SS!

-You had no business disclosing this.

-I feel so bad for her.

I am still in my first trimester.

Thanks for ruining my life.

For making you a national hero.

Wait until tomorrow.

You disgust me!

Stephens, help her.

What he did is that even legal?

Legal or not, this will run on the

news cycle for the whole week.

SS sets the agenda for the prime time.

The rest just follow.

But why do people

come here to get insulted?

To be on the front page the next day.

Obviously!

Satya, got a minute?

Harleen, I

Great show, guys.

Congratulations.

-Thank you, ma'am.

-That was great.

What the hell were you thinking, Satya?

Poor girl. Her life and

career can be affected.

I almost told Rahil to

stop rolling the camera.

Hello. You should be

thanking me, alright?

Madhulika was gonna be the guest,

but you got Naina Khanna.

To be honest Good!

Skyrocketing your career

in the process too, babe!

Don't "babe" me!

I have been following up with Madhulika

for so long, and she keeps postponing.

And you know what?

I can see why.

What you did today

was there any national interest in it?

Why the hell would the

nation want to know this?

The nation

is a beast.

It needs to be fed.

It craves something

new and spicy every day.

And what if one day we

are held accountable?

Sorry?

People want privacy for themselves

and accountability for others?

In this world that we built, people should

only be accountable for their own privacy.

Come on.

Harleen, let's put this aside.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

Actually, babe.

I found a really good apartment.

In your building.

Can we check it out this evening?

Don't you think it's about time?

Yes.

-I'll need to speak to Mom and Dad.

-When?

-You've been saying this for years.

-Come on, Harleen.

I'm going nowhere.

Come here. Look at me.

You are on the verge of becoming

a national icon.

But you are focused on relationships,

marriage, and kids.

We are humans, not dust.

I'm just saying.

Why settle?

Right?

Come on.

You and me

tonight.

Sushi?

Okay.

Yeah?

Okay.

Come on.

One more thing.

Never cut the camera when I'm on.

Okay?

Too much for day one?

Did you get an auto-rickshaw

easily this morning?

Never faced so much

rejection in my life.

"Won't go there. Won't go."

On loop.

What about traffic?

How bad was it?

Sensational!

Well, saying words like "sensational"

and "big reveal" has become a habit.

By the way, I am Shobit.

Aspiring actor and news anchor.

-Crime beat.

-Could've changed.

I have to leave for Nalasopara now.

It'll take me more than two hours.

Who has the time?

-I'll leave with this.

-Exactly!

Imagine if he had a good house, where he

could just slip off his heels, and relax

with a glass of wine.

Heels?!

Your last roommate ran away too!

What are you doing, sis?

She was the fourth this year.

You stay at Losttel, right?

-Yes.

-How's the sunset there?

You can't see it. There's a building

and then Losttel, so you can't see it.

Sea view?

And I am sure there's

never any "Me Time"?

No, but

You said that it's difficult for single

girls in the media to find a flat, right?

Exactly.

I have never seen any flats.

Not in shoes, not in real estate. So

Do you know of any?

Just ten minutes away from the office,

there's an amazingly spacious 1BHK.

24-hour water supply, partial sunsets,

and general empathy.

Will you be my flatmate?

The deposit is 50 grand.

The rent is 40 grand.

I'll pay 25 and you can pay 15.

I get the bed, you get the couch.

I'd love to, but

I don't have 50 grand.

The offer is great.

Easier searching for God in Mumbai,

but very difficult to find a flat.

Try to work something out.

See you.

The leopard is smart.

Listen to the leopard!

Yes, I'm here. Just a minute.

What's the sitch?

50 grand, Saira!

Where will I get 50 grand from?

Stress less.

Vibe more.

Life isn't like

Ravi Shastri's cricket commentary.

It will change.

-What?

-I mean,

I won ten grand

yesterday, all credit to the last ball.

It's a six! And I lost 15

in the Kabaddi League.

Life is a cycle, dear Bae.

The wheel keeps spinning.

Babe, if my math is right,

you lost five grand.

That's not good.

There are greater woes in the world

than wealth.

The money will come.

One day or another.

Yeah.

You should update

your bio online right now.

We should celebrate

your new job.

-Do it.

-Okay, fine.

Go on.

-Pronto.

-Okay.

#proudmother.

Mom never said that to me.

I relate to this misery too.

Both my parents are high court judges.

But they judged me the most.

I told them that I didn't wanna study law.

I want to go to Mumbai

for hotel management.

-They were just about to

-Die!

-Die!

-Right.

-What is happening?

-Come on, guys.

You're missing out.

Come.

Party games!

Just like Jimmy's Oscar after-party.

-I miss Jimmy.

-Who? Shergill?

-Kimmel, Saira. Come on.

-Kimmel?

-Okay, we're ready.

-Okay, we have arrived.

Alright. Today we'll play

an improv game called

-Story, story, die!

-Die!

Die!

In this game, whoever I point at

will begin an improv story.

And when I point at someone else,

they have to continue the story

from that point on.

But, guys, there's a catch.

If you stutter or fumble,

the audience will see to it that you

-Die!

-Die!

Break a leg, or break the

ice, but don't break the flow.

-Understood, Carl?

-Every single word.

Alright, what comes to your mind

when I say Bae?

-Spoiled.

-Sass.

Barbie doll!

-Daddy's princess.

-Very rich.

-I can do rich. I've done it long enough.

-Cute.

Perfect. So, let's begin.

Once upon a time in a

rich kingdom far away.

-There lived a

-A king and a queen.

They lived in their palace

with their son

the Prince.

In the castle with

them lived a tiny owl.

Locked away in a golden cage.

She was a night bird.

A night owl, different from everyone.

When she slept,

everyone was awake.

When everyone slept,

she was awake.

And she didn't know that night

shifts are bad for metabolism.

One day, the owl cried out loud but

little did she know,

no one in that house was going

to understand her cries.

Because an owl hoots,

and not grunts and coos.

And everyone in his family

-peacocks

-When you fumble,

-you die!

-Die!

Alright. Bae, continue.

The owl tried to break free every night,

but

And when others saw the little owl

spread her wings, they wondered.

Is she right-wing or left-wing?

-Die!

-Die!

Die!

-God! I'm out.

-Saira, continue.

-So

-One day, the owl got so angry that

it tried to destroy itself.

And then finally, the king, queen,

and prince's attention was on the owl.

But she'll never forget that day.

The cops. The shame.

The compulsory

-Community

-Die!

Bae.

-What?

-You need to die!

She fumbled.

Bae.

Bae, are you okay?

What was that?

Just a story. I did a story-telling course

in Prague, so

By the way

LV Saira has been sold too.

What?

I told you, right?

Stress less, vibe more.

Your deposit is arranged.

A gift from your old life

to your new life.

Saira, but that was your gift.

A very great woman once said,

"Kindness never goes out of fashion."

From here on, your

problem is my problem.

This is our

"Sis-code."

Our sis-what?

Hashtag

Behen (sis) code.

#sis-code?

Yeah.

-#sis-code!

-#sis-code!

Go, get that flat.

Owl!

Owl is well.

My spirit animal!

An owl!

That's an owl.

I've never seen an owl in my life.

Just look here once.

What are you looking at?

Who is Anamika?

Anamika?

I don't know.