02x07 - Stassi's Birthday Meltdown

[bunniefuu]

[♪ easy-going music playing]

[Andre] Okay, okay, okay.

One, one, two, two, duck.

[Alyssa laughs]

[Alyssa]
A new group of guests are arriving today,

opportunity for more chaos.

And with all of the drama between Siadi
and the rest of the castle...

You're really rubbing
people the wrong way.

I can't hear you, one second.

...hopefully we can get it together.

I'm not gonna beg someone
to fight for me.

-That's not good.
-I'm not gonna beg someone to want me

and I know for a fact you wouldn't either.

I decided to break up with Siadi.

I don't think, romantically,
that we, we line up.

Okay.

Lisa was my breaking point
for like, "Yeah, you're right.

Like, I do need to stand up for myself.
I'm not myself."

This isn't okay.

-This isn't how I want you to feel here.
-I know.

So, yeah, I'm trying
to figure that out.

I have to get ready
for the staff meeting,

so I'm just gonna focus on that.

[♪ upbeat string music playing]

[Lisa Vanderpump]
Hello!

[staff greeting Lisa]

We have another group
of guests arriving,

and we've got some kinks to work out.

I'm a bit apprehensive about
the current dynamic amongst the staff

and how Siadi is going to manage
working harmoniously

with everyone after all this recent drama.

Our next guest of honor happens
to be somebody I know very well,

who's ready to celebrate
a belated birthday

with her loved ones here in Italy.

This next guest seems
very important to Lisa.

And, I gotta be honest,
I'm a little nervous to hear who it is.

[Lisa] She even insisted
on popping by in person

just to make sure you all understand

how absolutely paramount
the stay is to her.

Are you ready to know who it is?

[all]
Yes.

-[♪ hip-hop music playing]
-I don't know what's goin' on.

I'm hoping it's someone fine,
someone hot, sexy.

♪♪

She's always been late,
but I'm gonna give her another chance.

So, are you ready
to know who it is?

[all]
Yes!

Surprise!

[all applauding]

It's my [bleep] birthday.

Well, it was, but, like, whatever.

Now I get to celebrate
with my best friends and my family.

I don't really think it's a secret

that birthdays are a big deal to me.

It's just been me, Beau,
and the kids all summer.

I need a break from them.

I've eased up a little on my birthday,

but the fact that I'm in Italy,

why would I not take
that opportunity to celebrate?

Hello?

Get excited.
It's like... [clicks tongue]

-Yeah! Woo!
-[all applauding]

[Lisa] It's gonna be a royal affair
and you know why?

-Oh, wait, really?
-Yes,

because she was my royal pain in the a*s.

[all laughing]

[Stassi]
Hey, wait, can I find out all the things?

-No. Bye.
-Okay.

[Stassi] See y'all later. Bye.

Alright, how we feeling?

-[all] Good.
-[Lisa] Yeah?

Don't want to put any pressure on you,

but you do not want to endure
the wrath of Miss Stassi,

so don't eff it up.

Considering we've made it this far
into the summer season,

this is gonna be like
a, a midterm exam for my staff.

Stassi is going to have
her eye on the ball

and her ear close to the ground.

And Stassi's feedback
will be a factor in deciding

who earns a place in
the Vanderpump brand moving forward.

[♪ exciting theme playing]

[♪ singers vocalizing]

[♪ theme fades out]

[Lisa] The theme for the weekend
is All Things Royal,

so we're gonna have
a lot of fun with this.

Guests include Beau
and Stassi's friends and family.

For Stassi's birthday,
I wanna go above and beyond.

I [bleep] love birthdays.

[Producer] Are you going to be
kissing any guests

with this guest group?

No kissing any guests this guest group.

That was a one-time only.

I apologized to Lexee
for kissing Katherine.

[group cheering]

[Lexee] I hate him and I don't
want anything to do with him.

[Tyler]
Lexee and I do communicate.

When there are problems, we come together,
we, we talk it out.

-It's never happening again.
-Oh, okay.

[Tyler]
You crazy fool.

Mwah!

We're good.

I hope there are no surprises
with this guest group,

but in this castle,
you can't hold your breath.

[Lisa] Stassi has come to Italy
in search of la dolce vita.

So, we'll have a stunning
welcome dinner in the olive grove

that embodies the good life.

Gorgeous.

[Lisa] Bartenders, let's set up
an Aperol spritz bar.

Apparently, Stassi thinks that's
the only c*ck that exists.

[all laughing]

I live off of Aperol spritzes.

I think my body just like, now,
it uses it for fuel.

Day two, we're gonna have
the royal portrait activity.

Stassi will strike her most regal pose,

and each of her guests are going
to attempt their best masterpiece of her.

-God help them.
-[laughter]

The marquee event
will be a royal birthday,

dripping in elegance.

Because there's been a bit of debacle

in the guest events with timing,

Gabriella, I want you to take the lead

because you know very well
about the timing,

having been in events for so long.

[Gabriella] Oh, my God.
Now I'm jumping in to make sure

that Stassi's group is on time
and everything goes well for them.

I'm a little nervous.

If anything goes wrong,
it's gonna be on me.

Siadi, I need you to shadow Gabriella
and really understand. Okay?

What I heard is that I need
to double-check with Gabriella

when it comes to the events.

Bruh, this is annoying.

-[Lisa] You got this, Chef?
-Good with that, yeah.

[Lisa]
Okay, so one thing I know for sure

is because you know Stassi,

every time she gets people together,

whether her birthday was last week
or the week before,

historically, it normally goes wrong.

-So... [laughs]
-[all laughing]

...let's put our best foot forward.

Our bright eyes and our bushy tails.

-[laughter]
-You're dismissed, arrivederci.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Anthony]
For Stassi's la dolce vita dinner,

we're serving her favorite
goat cheese ball.

Hey!

[Anthony] This is a popular dish
in every Lisa's restaurant.

Stassi wanted to come
in the kitchen to learn,

and because
it's [bleep] Stassi's birthday,

like, I couldn't refuse.
[laughs]

Goat cheese ball, easy.

You make a ball, flour, eggs,
bread crumb, you fry it.

Goat cheese ba*ls have been,
like, my favorite food for 15 years,

and I never once thought,
"How do you make these?"

Wait, what does he mean?
What does he mean?

[Dominic]
Flour, egg, flour, egg, bread crumb.

I never enjoy a food more
because I made it.

This works with Play-Doh.

I always enjoy a food more
because someone else made it.

I mean, that looks-- those look... right?

Oh, my God, trouble in the kitchen.

What are you making?
Crab cakes?

What is it, exactly?

-A goat cheese ball.
-It's a-- It's a goat cheese ball?

-A big one.
-Why is it so big?

Because you could never
have too much goat cheese.

♪♪

-That's disgusting, try it. It tastes--
-[Stassi] It's not disgusting.

[Anthony]
It seem very greasy.

[Stassi] You guys are acting
like it's absolute sh*t.

It is absolute sh*t.

You guys are being a little hard
on my giant goat cheese ball.

Said no one ever.

Uh, work in [bleep] progress.

No, I'm gonna master it.

-[Anthony] You good?
-[Stassi] Look at those perfect ba*ls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

-Alright, are we all feeling good?
-[all] [flatly] Yes.

-[Beau] Hi, whoa!
-[staff] Hey.

-[Sam] Beau.
-This is fun!

[Stassi]
This is a huge day.

I've been waiting for this day.

Oh, my God,

-I'm so excited to see everyone.
-[friend] Hi!

-[Stassi] Hi!
-[Lisa] Welcome to Castello Rosato.

[Stassi]
Oh, my God! Fam!

I'm in my favorite place on Earth,

and my friends and family
are here to celebrate me.

♪♪

I can't believe you're all here!

We've got Georgi, my sister.

-Hi.
-Hi, beautiful. You look amazing.

-So do you.
-You look incredible.

[Stassi]
My sister's bisexual.

I feel like she's going to like
a few of the girls.

Who knows what she's gonna do.

I'm so happy you all are here.

-I'm so happy.
-[Georgia] Hi.

And then there's Georgia,
Beau's sister, who is single,

but, like, really smart,
really sassy, really Italian.

And she has a tendency
to fall for douchebags.

[Beau] You should've came
for me first.

[Georgia] I know, but she was crying
so I didn't want to diss her.

Beau has a habit of putting
his sister Georgia's needs

before anybody else's,
including his wife's.

Beau met his sister later in life,

so maybe this is all him
just making up for lost time.

-[Beau] What do you guys think?
-This is beautiful.

Is this wild?

I try and pretend like it's not weird,
but it's [bleep] weird.

Listen, this weekend is my birthday.

I need my husband to have my back.

I need to come before everyone else.

It's like birthday rules.

Stassi, you've gotta check in, darling.
And then everybody else can go to the bar.

You're the guest of honor, so please.

-We go with you?
-We'll meet you at the bar.

-[Rob] I heard "bar".
-[Andre] Go to the best place.

[Stassi]
There's Beau's best friend, Rob.

Rob just loves any pretty girl.

-My name's Alyssa.
-Alyssa? Nice to meet you. Rob.

[Stassi] And I feel like Rob's gonna
swoon over Lexee and Alyssa.

Like, I can just, like,
see this happening.

-[Lexee] Hi, welcome!
-[Rob] Hey, guys.

Does everybody get Aperol spritzes
when they get here

-or is it just Stassi's day? Ma-- Yeah.
-Just for Stassi's day. [laughs]

I'm having a great time with Stassi's
friends and family that are here.

Rob, he reminds me of Beau,
so I feel comfortable around him,

and he's very attractive.
[laughs]

When did you two get together?

I got separated
and, all of a sudden,

I was like, "You know what,
I kinda wanna, like, kiss her."

And I've never
been attracted to women--

-I love you.
-[Lisa] Really?

-Yeah.
-In my entire life.

You mean you never
wanted to kiss me?

Just you and Stassi. That's it.

-Okay, good.
-Those are the only two.

Finally, I have my best friends,
Taylor, and her wife, Taylor,

that are Messer's godparents.

[Lexee] This is Siadi.
He's gonna give you the tour

-whenever you guys are ready.
-Alright, you ready for the tour?

They wanna walk around
and get some air.

I feel really special right now.
I do.

Obviously, I love my children,

but I am so happy
that my nannies are here with me

because I just really wanna have

a good two fun days with my friends.

[stifled chuckle]

So, we have your guest of honor suite
called La Perla,

which is right here.

[Stassi]
[gasps] Presents?

[Stassi] I love anything that
says "flask" on it.

[Alyssa] Tonight we have
the Dolce Vita welcome dinner.

-Alyssa and I will be there.
-Yeah.

And you'll be the middleman
so he can stay in the kitchen.

[Sianna]
Okay.

And although Gabriella has taken
a little bit of the lead,

I am still the only server.

It's gonna be busy.
I'm ready for it.

I'm excited about this group.

Just gotta get our game faces on.

-Let's go, everybody!
-[Dominic] Let's get it!

[Stassi]
I feel like it's my wedding!

Oh, wow, this is lovely.
Oh, my gosh.

-[Stassi] This is insane!
-[Beau] Oh, my gosh.

I don't know how I'm gonna go back
to normal life after this night.

My dreams just, like, threw up everything
beautiful that, like, I think about.

[gasps] Oh, my God,
I'm gonna have to go on Lexapro.

-Oh, my gosh.
-[Sam] Well, in Stassi fashion,

we do have a, uh, Aperol spritz bar here
with peach, wild berry, and orange.

-And then we'll garnish it.
-I'll try a peach!

-[Sam] A peach? You got it.
-What, let's get adventurous!

Oh, my gosh.

[Gabriella]
You all can follow me to the table.

[Georgia]
But look at this!

-[speaker] Oh.
-[Georgi] Gorgeous.

[Anthony]
Welcome, everyone, to Castello Rosato.

Tonight, amuse-bouche,
we have Stassi's favorite.

Goat cheese croquette made by Stassi.

-No, I did make some of them.
-[friend] Go, girl.

-[Anthony] She did.
-[Stassi] No, I really did.

[Rob] Do we have to guess
which ones you made?

-No.
-[all laughing]

I know I have some tough critics right now
that are going after my ba*ls,

but my ba*ls were great.

[Anthony] So, after, like, your appetizer,
we have a tomato salad.

[Dominic] We have a beautiful
Parmigiano Reggiano wheel.

Chef's gonna set it on fire.
It's a cacio e pepe.

-[Anthony] Ashley.
-[Ashley] Then for dessert,

we have a delicious roasted peach
with a homemade pistachio gelato.

[Anthony]
Enjoy your meal and see you later.

-Thank you very much.
-Thank you.

-Cheers, guys.
-[all] Cheers.

-Happy birthday, Stass.
-Happy birthday.

-[Stassi] I'm gonna take it.
-[friend] Happy Birthday.

[Ashley] Dominic, you can't beat me!

[♪ playful music playing]

By the way, the chef's really hot.
It's insane.

[Stassi]
No, all the girls here talk about it.

-[Dominic] Uh, all the same way?
-[Anthony] Yeah.

Okay, okay.
Two plates... let's go.

[Ashley]
You want me to grab the chicken?

-Siadi. Ooh!
-[door thuds]

[Siadi] Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

[Anthony] Ah, sh*t.

[Siadi] Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

[Anthony] Come here, come here,
come here, come here.

[Ashley]
How'd that happen? You okay?

I mean, what the hell?
Sianna is in the kitchen,

grabbin' the appetizers,
tryin' to get it out.

-[door thuds]
-Then Siadi, out of nowhere,

just stops holdin' the door for her.

And a catastrophe just happens
right in front of our face.

I mean, he's not showin' any emotion.

He was tryin' to get
those appetizers out to them.

I mean, I know we got a job and all,
but her shoulder is almost hangin' off.

This is crazy.

-[Sianna] My shoulder really hurts.
-Few more tomato.

[Sianna]
Oh, my [bleep] God.

I'm trying to focus on work,

but I honestly just cannot stop thinking

about what's going on between Siadi and I.

And now,
he lets the door knock into me.

This man is just so careless sometimes.

Okay, crisis mode.
Cut more tomatoes.

Their drama, it's cuttin' into service,
it's cuttin' into moods.

[bleep] I'm friends with them,
but at this point,

I don't know how much longer everyone's
gon' put up with their nonsense.

[Anthony]
I need more tomato right away.

[Ashley]
Damn, somebody 'bout to get in trouble.

[♪ dramatic sting]

♪♪

[Taylor S.]
These are, like, divine.

-[Rob] Did you, like, sugar these?
-It's a spicy honey.

[Ashley] How'd that happen? You okay?

Siadi accidentally caused me
being hit by the door.

I don't cry over every injury,
but that sh*t got me.

I'm stressed. I'm overwhelmed.

And all because I dropped
a g*dd*mn salad,

and Siadi dropped the door on me.

So, I just need to go sit down.

[Alyssa] Chef, so it's
an heirloom tomato salad with,

what is that, egg white?

[Anthony]
It's, like, only tomato on that plate.

-It's tomato in three different way.
-[Ashley] It's tomato foam.

-Tomato foam.
-Tomato foam and regular olive oil?

The front of the house...

...has no idea what is on the plate
and that pissed me off.

We don't have time
to deal with that sh*t.

Lot of mistake, miss of communication.
It's frustrating.

Guys, it may be late right now
to ask what is on the menu, please, okay?

I don't know what's gonna happen tonight,

but I think Chef is acting very strange.

There's something off about him.

What the [bleep], ya know?

-[Grace] You all good?
-No.

What happened?

Siadi, literally, was
h-holding the door open for me,

and it hit, it hit me
while I was trying to hit--

while I was trying to serve food.

Sianna's shoulder,
she's acting like the world has ended.

-[♪ whistle descending]
-[Sianna sighing]

[head thuds]

Her shoulder's gonna fall off.

Yeah, um-- I'm really in pain right now.
I can't move my arm.

[sighs]

-That was, like, iconic.
-[Grace laughs]

[Grace] Siadi and Sianna
are totally using this injury

to get out of work.
It's bullshit.

[Siadi] Can I, can I
do something for you?

[Sianna] It's okay,
it's not like you meant to do it.

[Siadi] Mmm. Sorry, anyway.

-[slurping]
-[♪ cheery music playing]

[Stassi] You know,
I'll have a glass of rosé.

I'll be sophisticated at din-din.

[laughter]

[Beau] A nice pour, gov'na.

Beau played Annie.

[Taylor D.]
No! [laughs]

What?

-You played Annie?
-While we were in Florence...

No, I didn't play Annie.
I played-- I-- It played.

[Stassi]
You could totally play Annie.

[Rob] [high-pitched]
Daddy Warbucks!

[Siadi] Try to put your legs up if you
want to lay there. Ready?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sianna] Thank you for taking
care of me.

[Siadi] I'm always trying to take care
of you.

Oh, sh*t.

-It's going down.
-[Dominic] Okay, that's, that's good.

[Georgi] Y'all, they're, like,
putting the pasta in the...

[Beau]
Oh, this is the fire stuff!

[Dominic]
I need to get pasta water in a can.

I don't think we're gonna
need it though, right?

[Anthony]
No, we're good.

[♪ light music playing]

For the main course,
you have a cacio e pepe.

It's getting there, but I wish it would
be, like, more saucy than liquid.

But the end of the dish is perfect.

[Dominic] We're gonna serve it
while it's hot, so cacio e pepe.

-[Stassi] Thank you.
-It is loaded with cheese.

This is also one of my favorite foods.

Thank you so much.

Enjoy.

[Taylor D.]
It's delicious.

[Georgi] Is it chunks of cheese?
Is that like...

Do you need anything?

Yeah, I need the servers to
do their job.

What?

How she don't know...

that...

tomato salad.
I've been telling you guys...

you come... all afternoon you can
come ask me what it is.

It is not when we serve the food

that you asking me what it is,
you know?

Yeah.

I think Chef is projecting because

he's embarrassed
by the food that was served.

[Gabriella] That pasta, it's not
supposed to look like that.

Right?

[Andre] It didn't come out
good at all?

[Gabriella] I don't really think so.

It doesn't look right. They didn't
have enough sauce for it.

I know Anthony is great,
and I know Anthony is well-trained,

but if you're talking sh*t about service,
but you're not following through,

I'm a Miami girl,

I'm gonna call people out
on their bullshit.

[Gabriella] My coochie's sweating.

♪♪

[Hagen] Did you and Dom talk today,
or what's that about?

He, like, hasn't said
a word to me at all yet,

um, and, like, avoiding eye contact.

I am, like, kinda sad
about it, though, like--

[Hagen]
Well, of course.

-You, like, actually liked him.
-Yeah.

It sucks that Grace is feeling this way,
and Dom, he's the reason why.

I feel like Dom is acting like
he has all these choices,

but, brother, you don't.
Like, what?

You don't need someone
like him, you know?

There's probably hundreds
of guys in your DMs that--

No, there's weirdos in my DMs
asking for feet pics.

I'm over it,

but I wanna talk to Dom
just because, like,

I should probably get this off my chest,
and what's done is done.

[Hagen] It's not worth wasting
your energy on a person

that, like, doesn't care about you.

[Taylor D.] The first time
we heard about you, Beau,

Stassi showed us a video
of you on a tricycle.

And she's like,
"I think I-- this is what I like now."

-We were like, "Do your thing."
-[Georgi] I just remember she would, like,

come to me and she's like,
"Listen, he's, he's not what you think.

He has a dragon tattoo on his belly,
not what you would expect."

-He got blue eyes on it, though, for me.
-I love that.

[Beau] I take her to Italy
to meet my family.

You gotta paint the picture
a little bit more.

-Oh, you paint the picture.
-You took me to Italy...

-Yes.
-...to meet your family

for the first time
when we started dating.

And then we went to a tattoo parlor
so that him and Georgia

-could get each other's names.
-[Beau] Well, because it was

my lovely sister's idea...

-On my first trip.
-...just to bond us even more.

-I got--
-So I said,

-"Can you make your dragon eyes blue...
-Georgia, look.

...like a White Walker?"

[Georgia] He asked for that.

-He asked me.
-[Beau] Okay, then maybe I did.

-I didn't ask.
-But you know why I felt bad is

'cause my sister's signature
is so beautiful.

-[Gerogia] Oh, I...
-Mine is not.

-[Taylor S.] Let me see.
-But I don't care because it's yours.

[Beau] I wrote this 17 times--

[Stassi] What about my signature?

-I have a beautiful signature.
-I have, I have an S here that faded away.

[Rob] Well, listen. Jax has yours.

[Beau] I'd rather not copy
your ex boyfriend's.

[Stassi] No, it's time you got
my signature on your body.

It hurts my feelings.

[Beau]
When you get someone's name,

a g-- a, a, a relationship
partner tattooed,

it's-it's notorious for, for bad omen!

It is bad luck when you're
in the beginning of a relationship,

or in a toxic relationship,

or broken up for the moment
and you're trying to prove something,

but when you're married to someone,

it makes me feel, like,
really embarrassed.

You can't have your sister on your arm

and not your wife
and the mother of your children.

Sorry, that's [bleep] weird.

I am feeling really angry.

I've never asked to get
my name on his body,

but it was just the conversation
of talking about the fact that

he has his sister's name.

I'm trying really hard
to keep it together.

I need to just get it out
because I feel just trapped,

and I feel like I'm gonna explode.

[Georgia] I'm not saying anything.
I'm sorry.

It's weird. Thank you, cheers.
It's weird as sh*t.

-Cheers to your new "Stassi" tattoo.
-[all] Cheers.

[♪ singer singing in Italian]

-What's up, guys? You guys look great.
-[Gabriella] Hey, guys. Cute!

Aw, thank you.

-Happy birthday!
-Salud.

Thank you!

[Beau] Watch your head when you step up
here. See the step?

[♪ upbeat dance music playing]

I might have had too many spritzes,

but you don't need to helicopter
over your sister.

Like, she's a grown woman.

Yay! To celebrating Stassi!

[Dominic] Blue and white
looks so good on you.

Thank you, sir.

♪♪

-You look very nice.
-[Lexee] Oh, thank you, how was dinner?

Oh, nice to see you.
It was delicious.

-[Dominic] Can I get a, um...
-[Alyssa] No.

[Dominic]
[laughing] What the [bleep]?

Listen, I'm sorry,
I know it's not all you.

I'm just, like, a little bit frustrated,

but I don't wanna,
like, take it out on you.

I just want you to, like,
get what I'm-I'm feeling.

That pasta wheel,
it was a shitshow.

[Dominic] I am a pasta guy...

and that pasta wasn't good, but...

-...they said they loved it.
-I know.

They're lying.

[sighs]

-What's up, guys?
-Go [bleep] yourself.

[Anthony] What's up with
Gabriella and all that?

[Dominic] She said that
everyone hated the pasta,

and that it was disgusting.

Hey, Gabriella.
Gabriella. Gabriella. Yeah.

Come, I need to talk to you.

Here Dom go with his drunk a*s.

I don't know why Gabriella and Dom

are havin' this conversation
right now in general.

It needs to be taken up with the boss,
which is Chef.

So, Chef is real pissed,
and this is not good.

'Cause when Chef get pissed,
baby, run for cover.

Everybody tried the pasta,
and they say it was disgusting.

Of course, the guests
did not say it was disgusting.

So, why did you say that to Dom?

-I didn't say that to Dom.
-Dom.

I said, "It wasn't what
it should've been."

So, why did I try the pasta,

and back in the kitchen,
everything was fine?

-When come back from kitchen--
-From the pasta wheel?

Yeah, we did finish on the ball.

-I thought it was okay.
-I mean, lis--

Dom, you told me that you weren't happy
with how it came out either.

Well, I wanted sauce to top the pasta,
but I wasn't h-- it wasn't perfect.

But not everything can be perfect.

[Anthony] Do you think
your job was okay tonight?

I think the ser--
I think the service was just fine.

-What?
-Okay, tell me about the menu.

-What was the s-- the, uh, tomato salad?
-Roasted.

You sliced some of them.
Chef, at the end of the day--

[Anthony] No, you failed.

It was the foam, it was the chips,
and it was grilled and roasted.

Come on, no. And you tell me
like you don't do your job.

-Look at you-- You're not-- No...
-I don't wanna talk to you.

[Gabriella] ...'cause you're
not letting me speak.

[Ashley] What'd you do?

I did not mean to cause
all that drama right there.

Chef is pissed, but Gabriella's job
is not to tell Chef how to cook.

You're talking sh*t right now, like,
about, like, the food and all that.

You don't even do your job.

-[Gabriella] You need to chill out.
-No, no. I don't need to chill anything.

-Yeah, you do. Come on.
-When we're waving to serve the food--

-Shh. There's guests.
-No, no, no, no.

Why you tell me, like,
there's nobody coming, you know?

[Gabriella]
I have to pull Chef aside

'cause I cannot have
Stassi and Beau hear this.

Stassi's close with Lisa.

We can't have people see us fighting.
It's so unprofessional.

[Anthony] I don't need to talk
to you, you know, like?

No, you don't want to.

I'm, like, a mixture of pissed-off,
angry, and mortified.

And that's all thanks to Beau and Georgia.

I'm not able to hear anything else.

-No, I don't wanna talk to you because...
-Go ahead, go 'head. That's fine.

...you think you're right and you're not,
you know? Yeah, yeah.

At some point, it's-- when you realize
you're talking to a wall,

there's nothing else you can do.

You can just go for a walk
and think about all that.

Come on.

I don't care.

Chef is not happy because
he's never had someone challenge him.

He needs to chill out.

Lisa has asked me to step up,

and if I see something
in this entire operation,

including the food, that is subpar,
I'm gonna make note of that.

-Come on.
-**** you.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Siadi] I hate you being here, like,
where I can't take care of you.

[kisses]

Siadi seeing me be hit by the door,

I really believe it brought out
the human side in him,

which is what I've been asking for.

If you can't sleep, or if you have a
problem in the middle of the night...

sometimes you have bad dreams,
and I have to hold you...

and wake you up and give you kisses.

I can't do that here.

[Sianna] Relationships are
definitely not black and white.

There is definitely a lot of gray area,

and I just want to be able
to be even keel at this point.

[Siadi] I want you
to be my person.

If she's willing to accept me
for who I am,

I think that there's a way that
we can be able to see things through

as long as we can respect
and communicate with one another.

[Sianna] Maybe I'll spend
the night tomorrow.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

-Ha-ha.
-No way!

I want the swan.

[Beau] Yeah, but you get on the swan,
you're gonna get wet.

-[Georgia] No.
-[Beau] Yes.

Beau doesn't have my name
tattooed on his body,

-but he has Georgia's name?
-[Taylor S.] I know.

Can you just admit it's weird?

[mimicking Georgia]
"My Beaugie, he's over there.

I need to cuddle him.
I need to kiss him." [laughs]

[Taylor S.]
They met later in life,

-which is weirder.
-Which is weirder.

[Taylor S.] There was an episode
of Law & Order...

-[Georgi] 'Kay.
-...where, like, when siblings meet,

[laughing] and they haven't known
each other for their whole lives,

sometimes one feels
feelings of love towards the other.

-[Georgi] No.
-It was just Law & Order...

which is based on true stories.
[laughing]

[Georgi]
I'm...

You need to calm down.

[Stassi]
I beared his children.

-I have [bleep] them out...
-[Georgi] Yep.

...in different way--
Like, all through the vag*na.

-[Georgi] Mm-hm.
-But, like, he can't

get my name...

-[Taylor S.] Yep.
-...tattooed on his arm.

-He's superstitious.
-I don't give a [bleep]!

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-I am feeling really angry.

It is this pit in my stomach
that turns into a fire

that is like, is it fire, or is it lava,

or is it, like, some sort of asteroid

that's, like, literally just gonna
explode out of my butt? I don't know.

You could actually get my name tattooed.

-I, I vote yes.
-[♪ tense music playing]

I had your, your, your

-letter on my ring finger.
-[Stassi] But it's not just about that.

That you can't see anymore.

You're like,
"But I got an S tattooed

on the inside of my palm,"

-like I'm a [bleep] moron?
-The same thing.

Are you hearing how
you're talking to me?

-The [bleep] are you talking about?
-It's the same thing

as getting a full name
tattooed on your arm?

-Are you joking?
-I think you should check yourself

-about how you're talking to me.
-No.

-[♪ dramatic music playing]
-I will get a tattoo.

-Is that what this is about?
-It's not about the tattoo.

Then what the [bleep] is it about?

I'm supposed to be your number one.
You're not understanding

that it's not about the [bleep] tattoo.

-I'm sorry.
-You put your sister in front of me.

Over-- [bleep].
Okay, do you realize...

No, it's 'cause you know
I'm not going anywhere.

You feel safe with me.
I can make you feel unsafe.

[♪ upbeat music playing]
-[Hagen] Stassi is so iconic.

And the fact that I am front row
for her and Beau fighting is just, mwah.

It was bound to happen anyway.

You're kind of being an as*h*le.

Maybe you've had
too many [bleep] spritzes,

-so don't sit there and say that...
-Alrighty.

-...I'm havin' an issue right now...
-Alrighty, alrighty.

...because I'm not.
I love you, happy birthday, but please.

[Stassi]
I don't know that he's understanding

what I'm trying to say right now.

I need to come before his sister.

-[Taylor S.] Hey, hey, hey.
-[Stassi] No, like, literally...

[Taylor S.] What'd he say?

[Stassi] Didn't know he
was a ******* d*ck.

I need to come before everyone else.

-I wanna go home and go to sleep.
-[Taylor S.] Do you want me

-to walk with you?
-[Stassi] No.

I never have a birthday
without a meltdown.

[Stassi] Get this *******
microphone off.

[Taylor S. sighs]

[Taylor S.] She took her mic off.

I'm out.
I'm gonna go back 'cause this is dumb.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

You guys...

[Taylor S.] It's bad.

-What do you think?
-It'll be fine tomorrow.

[Taylor S.] I really didn't think
it would escalate to this level.

[Georgia] Why we all know she's
first...

First?

Like, the first thing for Beaugie...

...and she feel like she's not.

Your love for Beau, she sees that
and she's like, "But I'm also important."

Are we talking about...

wife and husband, like, stuff...

between brother and sister?

I don't even want to be in this convers...
You know what I mean, like...

[Gabriella] Should we leave?

[Ashley] No.

[Taylor S.]
It's not about you and Beau...

The whole conversation started

because you have
a tattoo with him.

I just don't want Georgia
to feel like she's being attacked...

[crosstalk]

When we were talking,
it wasn't a big thing.

-It was a joke.
-Exactly.

She thinks about it more and more,
and it just gets in her head.

And she needs the validation right away.

[Taylor S.] He could've just said, "Yes."

[Georgi] Beau says, "Yes," all the time.
Beau is a "Yes Man" for Stassi.

[Taylor S.] So then,
that's why she's like,

-"Why are you saying no?"
-[Georgi] Yeah.

-[Taylor S.] He didn't do anything wrong.
-[Georgi] No, not at all.

[Taylor S.] He didn't do what she
needed in the moment.

[Taylor S.] Can I have a drink?

-Y-Yes.
-[Taylor S.] Please, God.

-[chuckling]
-[Ashley] Mm, mm, mm.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

There was some kind of
miscommunication with Stassi and Beau,

and then things got
a little bit complicated

between Chef and Gabriella.

I need to resolve this situation.

If Gabriella's leading the front of house

and there's a disconnect with the kitchen,

the whole thing can go awry.

I know you guys had some problems,

so I wanna hear from both of you

because you're both very important
in this equation to me.

So, let's work it out, right?

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Do you want to go first?

Um, I'm just hearing
complaints of service,

which I know the service is, you know,

we are struggling a bit
right now that we have one server.

And then, if I see something that

might have not been going right,

I should be at liberty to say so.

Okay, Chef?

I'm 100% okay with what
she say about the serving,

but I never come
to the event plan and say,

"Hey, you have to do that that way,"
because you know your job.

So, when I'm saying something
about the kitchen, I know my job.

-[♪ light music playing]
-I understand Chef's frustration, okay?

[bleep]. Like, I hate fighting with Chef.

Gabriella, I want you to focus more
on getting on the staff

and making sure that side is working

and let Chef make sure the coordination
from the kitchen is better.

[Gabriella] I feel like my main problem
with this whole thing

was the lack of support
for the rest of the staff.

I'm gonna swallow my pride,

and I'm not gonna talk about the food

'cause Lisa wants me to be a leader,

so I'm gonna do just that.

Maybe I overreact because I was, like,
tired and it's a long day, you know?

But I know she's doing a good job.
You know, I trust her.

Gabriella, let's work together,
make the job better for everybody else

because we actually, like, leading
what's happening right now.

Do you both feel better now?

-Yes.
-Give me a hug!

He doesn't "ug".

-I did with her.
-You "ug" sometimes?

It's happened, you know?
On my good days, so...

I never get an "ug".

-[Anthony] Yes, you did. I asked you.
-Oh, did I?

Oh, yeah, I-I did two years ago.
You're right.

-[Anthony] She did.
-Two years ago. [laughing]

[♪ upbeat, tense music playing]

[Stassi] I felt so humiliated last night.

I didn't-- I don't--
Like, it's not about the tattoo.

I would never have asked
you to even get it done,

but I feel like I'm second...

to your sister.

Like, you always say that I'm number one.

And then for you to just be like, "No,"

that doesn't make me feel like number one.

I understand.
And I'm, and I'm sorry.

I feel really bad that I made you
feel like that. I was drunk.

-Well, I mean, we both were.
-I know, but...

I really love that Beau is taking
responsibility and apologizing.

Do I feel a little guilty because, hm,
I played quite a big part in this?

Yeah, but I just-- I'm not in the mood
for apologizing right now.

[Beau]
I'm just really sorry.

-And I do choose you over everyone.
-But, like--

And I know, and I need to show it.

-I love you.
-I love you.

-[♪ intense string music playing]
-[Stassi] We made up for now,

but let's see how this goes once we leave
this fairy tale and return to normal life.

-[cork pops]
-Vanderpump.

-Oh, my God.
-[Lexee] Vanderpump everything.

The toilet was Vanderpump'd.
Have you been in our rooms?

-No.
-It was a Vanderpump toilet.

[laughs]

[Dominic] After you're done with
your feast...

I'll be outside if y--
I wanna talk to you, yeah?

Okay.

[Dominic] I wanna apologize
to Grace, uh, because I just

handled this whole situation
very wrongly.

I've dreamt of Alyssa, like,
four nights in a row. I don't get it.

It means nothing, though.

-Are you full from the dinner?
-No, I'm still hungry.

There's also pizzas in the oven.

I'll be fine.

So, I just truly wanna
apologize for the way

I handled the situation.

-I was just really confused.
-And--

-Still, like, still am.
-And-- I know, I, I was confused too.

I don't know what I was doin'.
I don't--

-Like, I didn't do anything wrong, right?
-You didn't do anything, no.

-Okay.
-This was all me. This is me. Like--

It's just difficult
because, like, I, I am hurt, ya know?

And, like, it's much easier
for me to be like, "[bleep] you."

You probably look at me
a different way already and that's okay.

You said a bit of this last night,
but you were very drunk,

-so I was like...
-I know, I was, like, super sad too.

I was really enjoying,
like, our conversation

and getting to know each other, but, like,

I am very unattracted by people
who, like, drink a lot.

It's one thing if, like, you're, ya know,

with your friends
and everybody's drinking.

But if you're in a group and you're
the only one that's, like, really drunk,

it's a little bit embarrassing.

Ya know, I think I just, like,
really needed this conversation

-because I needed a bit of clarity.
-Yeah.

-Yeah.
-You know, I didn't understand, like,

why it was like--
Y-You were comin' on hot

-and then it was like...
-You did nothing-- Yeah.

I'm screwed up, I guess.
I don't know.

I want to make it very clear, like,
we are really, really done for good.

You know, he was disrespectful
and so, it's [bleep] up.

I don't like it.

If you ever just wanna talk, let me know.

If you still want food, let me know.

Okay.

I'm gonna go to bed, but--

-Well, I appreciate it.
-Yeah, of course.

It's been a crazy, you know, summer.

-[thundering]
-It's raining!

[Ashley] Everything is stormy
around here right now,

between Beau and Stassi
and their argument last night,

Siadi, Sianna, and their drama.

[Siadi] This only takes one hand.

Baby, in a storm
that's actually goin' on...

[thundering]

...get your umbrella.
[laughs]

-[Alyssa] Aw, she's too cute.
-She's havin' the time of her life.

-[laughing]
-I know, I feel like when you see

cute kids that actually behave like yours,

you-you'd be like, "You know what,
I could have some kids."

-[Beau] What?
-As far as I've seen,

-she's-she's alright.
-Yeah, 'cause she's-- Yeah, thank you.

I think from, like,
five and on I was good.

I think so too.
My mom said I wasn't a hard teenager,

-which is nice.
-Yeah.

'Cause usually teenagers are...

-Yeah. Yeah, I think I was, I was--
-Just wait for it. [laughs]

I was a gothic,
so I just was maybe--

-Gothic?
-[Beau] I got beat up a lot, so...

[Sianna]
Ah, sh*t, that's not funny.

Yeah, I used to, um, get bullied

when I was a kid, too,
so that's okay. [laughs]

[♪ solemn music playing]

Being bullied growing up just
because I wasn't Black enough to be Black,

wasn't white enough to be white,

it definitely took a toll
on me when I was younger.

I really think it shaped me
to be a really confident,

self-reflecting person.

-It does give you character, for sure.
-It does, for sure, yeah.

Gives you a backbone.

People are always gonna
think something about you,

but that doesn't mean that that is you.

I know if I'm just
gonna get back with Siadi,

I think people are gonna be
like, "What the [bleep]?"

And that's fine.
That's their own opinions.

It's my life.

[Rob] Hey, hey.
Hartford, make the rain stop.

Use the force.
[grunts]

You made it stop.
Yay, Hartfooord!

-[all applauding]
-[♪ upbeat music playing]

Now, we get to paint the birthday girl.

-Yeah.
-[Stassi] Get excited.

We have a little
royal portrait activity for Stassi.

She'll just be sittin' pretty,

and her friends and family
will be painting her portrait.

I've heard Beau might
actually be decent at art,

so it should be a lot of fun.

[Stassi] Okay, I'm gonna need
everyone to take this seriously.

Facetune your paintings, okay?

So, what's everyone's
inspiration? Motivation?

-[Taylor S.] Fear.
-Death.

[all laughing]

Oh, my gosh. I am not scary.

Like, yes, I had a few too many
Aperol spritzes last night,

but birthday privileges.
Hello?

You guys, paint who you--
what you think I want to look like,

-not what I actually look like.
-[speaker] Oh, that's a great one.

[Stassi]
Make sure to get the good features in.

Maybe add some extra hair,
some hair extensions.

Accentuate the cheekbone.

My fake chin, my chin implant,
make sure that's prominent, ya know?

Not one of you guys laughed at that.

[Georgia] Sorry, Stassi,
we are in the mode.

-[Tyler] For the big reveal...
-[Stassi] I'm so scared.

Wait. Oh, my God,
you guys did such a good job!

I'm not joking!

So impressed with everyone's stuff.
Like, insane.

Beau, tell me...

-what was your inspiration?
-[all laughing]

Well, one, it's--
you are a beautiful flower...

coming out of a beautiful vase.

And there's a little scariness with you,
hence the batwing.

If there was anything that screamed,

"I adore you, you're my wife," it's this.

-[Tyler] So, is this the winner?
-No.

-[Tyler] Okay.
-Not at all.

Which out of all of these
amazing paintings

-is the winner?
-I mean, we gotta go with Georgi's.

Like, it's insane that you
did that that quickly.

[♪ cheerful music playing]

[Gabriella] I need a man.
I need a man.

Sam, you wanna hand-in-hand
carry this ice bucket with me?

[Sam] Uh...

[Grace] Who needs a man?

Sianna, she's talking so much about him

and saying how he's the worst person ever,

and then he comes in and kisses her
last night when I'm sleeping.

Like, I need my beauty rest.
Like, please.

I offered my room to Sianna
because I'm a good person.

Like, sue me.

And then, he literally walked in
in the middle of the night, kissed her.

It was traumatizing.
Like, the sound of the kiss

literally, like, made me
wanna vomit in my face. [gags]

It was disgusting.

Like, don't do it
in my vicinity, please.

Like, I don't wanna be around them.

-That's fair. That's fair.
-[Hagen] I can-- I can--

I wouldn't wanna be around
the two of them either.

Like, it's frustrating for all of us
to hear her say all these things

and then, just, like, go back to him.

Sianna and Siadi is just--
it's getting old.

[Andre]
W-Why do y'all keep believin' her?

Because we have, like--
We're here for her.

Even if it happens again,
we're here for her.

I offered for her to come into my room,
but I don't want him in my room at all.

-[all laughing]
-[Alyssa] This is the issue.

With Sianna, I'm trying to make sure
that she feels completely comfortable.

And I also feel, like,
this protectiveness, not only over her,

but I wanna make sure that
everyone feels comfortable

with everything goin' on with Siadi.

Baby, if you wanna
endure that, by all means.

And all of us will sleep just fine
and not involved in their sh*t.

Keep it upstairs.

There is not one part of me

that feels bad for Sianna whatsoever.

You continuously woke up
and made the decision

to have this man in your life,

and then it's gonna
affect you the way it does.

So, you tell her,
"You're gonna have to find another room."

[Hagen] I have to bring
an eviction notice to Sianna,

and I don't think this is gonna end well.

[Dominic] I like that.

-[♪ light music playing]
-[Hagen] Sianna?

[Sianna] Yeah, what's up?

[Hagen] I felt bad for Sianna the first
two or three times she came to us,

but now, you're digging
your own grave, Sianna.

I'm ready to bring
an eviction notice to her.

Knock, knock, it's your landlord. Bye.

-Tryna say this nicely. I, I don't...
-That's okay. Just say it.

...wanna be involved
in you and Siadi's stuff.

I wanna be as far away
as the situation as I can

'cause we've seen what happens
when people get involved,

and it doesn't turn out well.

I just don't want him here.

[Siadi] This is interesting.

I feel like if you have
a problem with someone,

you gotta say it to their face,
so, eventually, I need to talk to him.

[Hagen] I just don't
wanna be involved in it,

-you know?
-I completely understand.

-Good.
-You're like, "A breath of fresh air,

thank God."

I think they view me
choosing Siadi over everyone

versus just me choosing
to give him another chance.

They, like, took offense to it in a light

'cause they're like,
"You don't deserve that."

But, like, I have to remember,

these are not my friends,
these are coworkers.

My room is a no-Siadi zone.

[Grace]
Siadi and Sianna's drama,

it really is affecting everybody

because it's not like they
have their issue, they keep it private,

and everybody goes about their day.

It's, like, they have an issue,

and then Sianna runs and tells everybody,

and now we all have an issue with Siadi.

It definitely puts a damper
on things, for sure.

[♪ bright music playing]

[Alyssa] There is only one hour
until Stassi's birthday.

We are going above
and beyond for the queen

to give her the best birthday celebration.

Alyssa will be leading service.
We follow her.

She will explain dishes.
She will know it inside and out.

Bartenders will assist with running,

and whoever's in events
will assist with running c*ck.

And you will do that as well,
so servers can stay attending the tables.

One person talks to one person,

and we coordinate
and it all comes together.

[Siadi] Gabriella also doing my job,
I think that's just BS.

She can say whatever she wants,
I'm gonna keep on doin' my job.

That's all I gotta say.

The more we organize, the less stressful
it's gonna be, you know? So...

I've been arguing with Gabriella
about the service and all that,

but she's doing a good job.

She can lead,

and I feel like it's gonna be
a great dinner, yeah?

Please join me in the grand hall

-for your birthday.
-Stassi, I'll have you here.

-Head of the table.
-Look at the little crown!

Are you kidding me?

-[Georgi] We're living our best lives.
-[Taylor S.] Holy shitballs!

[Georgi] No, we're living our best lives.

Every time I feel like,
"Oh, this couldn't get any better,"

something else happens.

In royal fashion,
because we know that Stassi is royalty...

[Alyssa] ...she deserves a crown.

-[Rob] Wow.
-God save the queen.

[Beau] [in British accent]
God save the queen.

Thank you.

A multicolored jeweled crown
that just so happened

to match the earrings that I chose.

It's literally, like,
Lisa saw into the future

and knew what I was gonna wear.

-[Anthony] Welcome, everyone.
-[all applauding]

So, tonight we will have
Italian prawn risotto.

After that, we have, like,
the famous Tuscany dish,

bistecca a la fiorentina
with roasted tomato and potato.

And to finish, we will have rice pudding.

We'll do it, like, the way you like it
with crème brulée on the top.

-Oh, my gosh.
-Enjoy, guys. We'll see you later.

-[Georgi] Anthony, how did you know?
-This is gonna be over.

-This is gonna be over.
-[Georgi] This is game over.

We have five people done with the amuse,
so, in the next five minutes, we'll clear.

Awesome, thank you.

Look at them, talkin' about--
Okay, I s-- I see y'all. Go, girl.

-[♪ orchestral music playing]
-This is like Downton Abbey!

Love it.

We're gonna remember this
more than, like, me giving birth.

-[Beau] No. [laughs]
-You know?

I have had so many incredible birthdays.

Lots of meltdowns, but lots of joy.

This, by far, is my favorite birthday,

and it's not my birthday.
[chuckles]

We have one last little surprise

-because it's Stassi's effing birthday.
-[guests] Oh, my God!

[all cheering]

[guest]
Auguri!

-[cheering]
-Happy birthday, Stass.

-[♪ upbeat music playing]
-[Anthony] Everybody did a great job,

so I'm happy about that,
but it took us few weeks to get there.

Now I'm hoping we gonna
keep doing a great job,

so I can be less stressed
and maybe, like, sleep better at night.

[laughs]

-[♪ upbeat music playing]
-♪ The stars will shine ♪

♪ For us ♪

[Hagen] Chef Anthony is hot,
and he's a good dancer.

But also, he's kind of
a b*tch, which I love.

-♪ Straight to the sky ♪
-I think we need to share it...

[all] [chanting]
Titty shot.

-♪ Livin' for this moment ♪
-[Sianna] Yeah, titty shot!

♪ Happenin' now ♪

-♪ We're singin' loud ♪
-[shrieks, laughs] See? Perfect!

♪ Woo hoo ♪

♪ We're livin' for this [echoes] moment ♪

[Rob]
Whoa! Lexee! Gorgeous.

-I'm overwhelmed.
-[Lexee] Oh! Oh, my God.

[Lexee] I love you.

What about me?

[Hagen] Threesome!

I don't think so.

[Hagen] Would you have a
threesome with her?

-[Lexee] Oh, I love her, yes.
-[Hagen] I feel y'all both would.

[Lexee] No. Yeah, for sure, she's great.
We love her.

[Hagen] Do you think that
would affect your relationship?

-No.
-No.

I'm gonna go get a drink,
but you stay here so I can--

-Well, I'm gonna get my drink too.
-No, I'm getting my drink.

-You're too drunk to remember.
-What if I wanna make out

-with you earlier? Later. I mean, later.
-[Lexee] No.

You're too drunk. I can't.

I'm gonna go kiss her right now.

[Anthony] What's happening
right now?

-What is going on?
-They're about to have a threesome.

With you?

[laughter]

[Lexee] I'm being drunk
and fun. You're, like...

...wasted right now.

-[Tyler] Oh, my God. I'm so not wasted.
-You are! Okay, everyone's coming.

Andre doesn't wanna make anyone drinks,
so I'm gonna make myself a drink.

-Watch out.
-Be cool.

-I am cool, babe.
-Chill.

Tyler is acting insecure?
Jealous? Like, crazy?

I don't even know how to explain it.

I'm a little bit annoyed.

[Hagen] Yeah, I'm having a
threesome with them.

I submitted my application,
and they said, "Yeah."

-He's-He's probably serious.
-[Hagen] What?

You're probably serious.

[Hagen] [mimicking accent]
What did you say?

You're probably serious.

I don't know what he said.

[Georgi] Your boyfriend, not boyfriend,
whatever, I'm, like...

y'all are cute. Y'all are a vibe.

[Lexee] I like you more than
him right now.

He's annoying.

-[Lexee laughing]
-[Tyler] What the [bleep]?

I'm trying to, you know,

just give this energy
that Lexee gives me,

and then she's tellin' Georgi
that she likes her better than me.

It's like half woman, half animal.
Me and Stassi's personality.

[Lexee laughs]

-We'll get a restraining order soon.
-Honestly, people probably should.

[Tyler] You wanna go and flirt
with everyone else? Ay-yi-yi.

I cannot figure out what the [bleep]
is wrong with Lexee right now.

She's complaining about me drinking
and then she's flirting with Rob.

If you wanna act some type of way,
act some type of way. Like, I'm cool.

[Rob]
Nobody has to understand it but you,

and then when you point
it out, you're like,

-"Yes, that's [bleep] amazing."
-You can see it.

-Yeah, you know what I mean? And then...
-[Rob] Exactly.

Tyler is upset right now.

I can feel his eyes on me,
and I'm just, like,

"I'm just trying to have fun."

What is wrong with you?

You don't talk to me,
you don't look at me.

Weird as [bleep].

-If a meteor was comin' down...
-Yeah.

...we knew that the meteor was
[bleep] crashing in, like, two days.

[Tyler] Nah, bro.

[Lexee] With every single guest group
that has come in before this,

I have let Tyler go flirt,
go take pictures,

go do what you have to do,
and I will do my job.

The fact that he's angry
at me right now

is driving me crazy because
it doesn't make any sense.

[Siadi] I'm lowkey feeling the pool.

-You're gonna what?
-[Siadi] I don't know, I just--

-I feel like maybe takin' a little dip.
-Let's do it.

-You know about it.
-I'm down, who's down?

[Siadi]
All of us.

[Hagen] Why is Siadi
dressed like a clown?

[Gabriella] I call him
"Peaky Blinders."

[both laughing]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Hagen]
If you're skinny dipping,

-I'm leaving.
-[all laughing]

[Rob] I think you might be
my new favorite.

[Lexee] I've always been your
favorite. You're a liar.

Yeah, that's true.

[Hagen] I think you need
to button up your shirt.

What's the drama with this one?

Lexee's at the bar
in her bikini with Rob. Again.

And you completely ignore me.
Don't look at me.

Continue talkin' to him.

[Rob] How are things goin'
with you and, uh, Tyler?

[Lexee] Not great tonight.

[Rob]
Well, obviously.

Like, what the [bleep] is that?

I can't play these games.
I'm like-- I'm way too old for this.

[Rob] You can't combat what somebody
else is making up in their own brain.

That's crazy, bro.

You're the first man
I've talked to in weeks!

Like, we haven't even flirted.
I wish we flirted more.

I called that sh*t from day [bleep], bro.

[Sam]
Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

We're with guests still, so keep it down.

In my opinion, if I were you,
I would be not happy.

Well, I'm not... I'm not.

I had very, very real feelings for Lex,
but that's [bleep] gone.

That switch was flipped,
and it does not get turned back on.

[♪ dramatic sting]

[♪ string music playing]

-Good night. Have fun, have fun.
-[Georgi] You're leaving?

You're good night?
You're leaving?

Okay.

[Lexee]
It's Stassi's birthday, I'm having fun,

and we're enjoying
this nightcap by the pool.

And out of nowhere,
Tyler comes up to the bar,

drops his glass down so hard,
and storms off.

[Georgi] Did I cause that?

-It's not you.
-It's not me? Okay, good.

[Rob] It's me.

You know what?
[bleep] this, I am so done.

If you're gonna be mad at me,

then I might as well do something
to make you mad at me.

-[Lexee laughs]
-[♪ upbeat music playing]

Let's have some fun.

I dare you to motorboat Georgi.

-Go, go, get in there!
-[all cheering]

-Love that. I love it.
-[group] Whoa!

[Ashley] Have fun, boo. Do you.
Tyler kissed a guest.

And, hey, at the end of the day,
karma's a b*tch.

Tyler, you my brother,
but I'm sorry, boo.

I mean, somebody gon' get they lick back
and they get back eventually.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[laughter]

You know, I can relate
how it feels to have

someone you're involved with kiss a guest.

[group cheering]

[guest]
He can't stand up!

[indistinct chatter]

That wasn't exactly my finest hour,

so, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it

doesn't sit the greatest
with Tyler either.

[Taylor S.]
Truth or dare?

Dare.

-No, truth.
-[Siadi] No. Truth.

[Taylor S.] Are you a sh*t stirrer?

[Siadi] No.

I actually been shat on the
most here.

[Siadi] It's like high school here.

[Siadi] They don't hear my side of
the story.

I'm over this ************, dude.

[Sam]
Talkin' sh*t to the guests,

as if there weren't
enough issues with Siadi,

he wants to throw this on top of it?

I think everybody in the castle
has had it up to here with this guy.

I'm gonna go to bed.

[Sam] That's the last thing
I needed to hear.

Siadi, the past, like, 48 hours...

I've been paying more attention
to his body language, his mannerisms.

He is an interesting one.

I mean, it's a little
weird just seeing it.

And then he's just so on edge.

Like, it's just so unauthentic.

I'm not getting good vibes.

[Siadi] I'm nice all the time.

[Dominic]
Siadi makes everyone feel uncomfy

because when he's with the guests,

he's a completely different
person than with us.

So, I'm just kinda keepin'
my distance and I don't know.

He's-He's just a weirdo.

-[Siadi] What up, baby? We at the pool.
-[Tyler] Hey.

We played truth or dare.
Bro, uh, Lexee just kissed a girl.

-[Tyler] Are you serious?
-She kissed Georgi.

[Tyler] So, she cheated... so, the
double standard's real.

[Tyler] This place got me ****** up.

Lexee just kissed somebody.
Okay, let's rewind a second.

[group cheering]

I just know that, right now,
if someone tried to kiss me,

-I would never do that at all, so...
-I know.

And it's never happening again, remember?

[Tyler]
It's never happenin' again.

I think she has some
out for me from that kiss.

I don't think she moved past it.

I think it's just been
sittin' there, marinatin',

lookin' for her moment to get back at me.

Dude, I'm so, like, over this sh*t.

[Siadi] It's bullshit, bro.

[♪ string music playing]

[Sianna] It's Stassi's
guest group's final morning,

and there's a little bit
of animosity in the staff.

-And here's your breakfast.
-Oh, my gosh!

[Sianna] So, to be honest,
we're just trying to make

their morning seamless and happy,

and we'll just keep it on truckin'.
[laughs]

Hello, everyone. Hello, Stassi.

-Hi.
-So, we have your comment card here

for you to let us know about your stay.
Fill it out...

You know what, I'm not
gonna be the one to answer these.

This is gonna be
entirely on y'all because I live here.

-[Taylor S.] [laughs] "I live here."
-[Stassi] I live here.

-"Star staff member."
-Gabriella.

-[all agreeing]
-[Stassi] ...that's how I felt.

So, you guys don't know this,
she's had to fully switch gears...

-[Rob] Step up.
-...and do everything.

Gabriella is, like,
so on top of her sh*t at all times,

and she's just, like,
done it with so much grace.

And I just-- I think, yeah,
that's an easy, an easy

"Gabriella is number one."

"Room for improvement."

Tyler. He came up to the bar,
slammed his [bleep] drink on the bar.

-[drink thuds]
-Good night. Have fun, have fun.

[Georgi] You're good night?
You're leaving?

-I'm going to bed. Yeah.
-Okay.

I, like, hate writing this
'cause he did such--

-if it wasn't for that one moment...
-[Taylor S.] I know. Yeah.

[Taylor D.] He's, like, the only person
who had a strike, though.

Everyone else, I-I can't find

-another strike with anyone.
-[Stassi] You're right. If--

Yeah, so, like, if he didn't do that,
it would've been, like, no answer.

[all agreeing]

Oh, my God, are you
the cutest kid in the world?

[Beau] Judging us.

[Georgi]
Judging, totally.

[Stassi]
I wish I had the words to fully explain

just how insane of a core memory
this is going to be for me

and my family and my friends.

[all saying goodbye]

The fight between me and Beau really
put us through a stress test as a couple.

And we still haven't even
had that conversation

about him going back to work.
Marriage, folks.

It's definitely not all goat cheese ba*ls
and Aperol spritzes.

What can I say?

-[Georgia] Don't touch my brother.
-[Stassi] What?

-[Georgia] Bye!
-[Stassi] Bye...

Uh... weird.

[Lisa]
They were really lovely.

-[Siadi] So much fun.
-[Lisa] Keep waving.

-[♪ light music playing]
-Keep waving.

-Keep waving, keep waving.
-Lisa. Lisa you're taking the piss, right?

-[Lisa] No, I'm not.
-Oh.

[Lisa]
I-I really mean keep waving.

This better be some fine-a*s
Italian soccer players, please.

Who's coming?

Are we gettin' more Mormon moms?
Golden goddesses?

I don't know if I can take
any more beautiful women.

I have no more roses left.

Oh, no, Lisa!

[Grace] I hope we have some hot men.

[Lisa]
Just keep waving.

-Uh-oh.
-What's happening?

No idea what's going on,

but Tyler and I are not good right now.

Things can't get any worse?

-Guys? Oh...
-You guys, stop it.

Instead of goodbye,
you're waving a welcome.

[Lexee screams]

-[Alyssa] Lisa!
-[Sianna] Who is it?

Okay, you can stop waving now.

-[♪ suspenseful music playing]
-[screams] Oh, my God!

Get back.

[Ashley]
Oh, wow.

[Lisa] It's not really Stassi's birthday.
I've known her for years.

Her birthday, I think, is in June.

I even have a c*ck named after Stassi,

"It's My Effing Birthday,"

because she seems to have
more birthdays than not.

As far as she's concerned,

if she hasn't celebrated with that person
that is coming to the castle,

then she needs to do
the whole thing over again.

In this experience,
she only gets one birthday and this is it.

Most people get one birthday a year.
Deal with it.

♪♪

[♪ music fades out]