01x04 - Forms, Appropriately Filled and Filed

[bunniefuu]

Mmm. I'm glad you finally
got up the courage to ask me out.

Hey, wh... what do you mean, "finally"?

You don't have to play cool with me, Joey.

Just, I was waiting a while.

- I better head in now.
- Oh, come on. Just... Just one more song.

You're sweet, Joey Shorter.

Now get yourself to work
and ask me out again soon.

You. Inside the house. Now.

Up.

Fetch regulatory halt.

Adhesive tape, 2.5 inches. Thank you.

Down. Follow.

Twenty-three years,
Charlene and I had together.

Way too sweet, just like you.

Every morning she'd say that to me.
God rest her soul.

Now that's love, son. Not like
the cheap kicks you're out prowling for.

I can only hope you went to college.

Of... Of course, sir. Yeah.

Where?

Uh, Richmond State.

Mmm. Major?

English.

And business.

What kind of work that earn you?

Uh, sales.
Sales, I'm... I'm... I'm in sales.

- We're... We're selling, uh, lunar...
- I should have guessed. A salesman.

Of course, I'll need to meet your parents.

What's that smell?

That's prime rib. The new models come
with top-notch aroma technology.

Prime rib, huh? Smells like burning money.

Scared money
don't make money, Shirl.

I'm feeling good about this town.

Let's get comfortable
and turn some lives around.

No one's changing any lives today, Jack.

"Regulatory halt. Further commercial
activity may result in arrest"?

This is what we get
for our recent success?

Yeah, Jack. It's on me.
The ad at the ball game.

You gotta make this
go away fast, Shirl. I...

We're just starting
to find our stride here.

- Everything is loo... Oh, here we go.
- I'm trying to do every...

- Morning, team.
- Hey.

Joey's not here. Hope he isn't too late.

Oh, very kind, Herb, compassionate even.

We need to talk, fellas.

You know what?
Hey, why don't you guys take a day off?

Fully paid, as a "thank you"
for all of your hard work.

I'll treat it
as an extra training day then.

Oh, yeah. I... I hear Joey is training
even harder, though, Herb.

I applaud that
and I welcome the challenge.

- Hey, did you also applaud your mother...
- Got it. Mmm.

When she was robbing you
of your childhood?

Would you rather I tell them you let
a legal situation blow out of control?

I am taking care of it. Just waiting on HQ
to send some details.

What kinda details?

Tax IDs, gross receipts, lunar zoning...

Jesus. What? They need all that
just for us to do our jobs?

Yeah. It's basic
running-a-business-in-the-real-world.

What is that look?

Morning. Oh, wow,
you actually got a HoloTable.

Yeah.
This was a great idea you had.

It's gonna help us sell way deeper
into this turf.

We might not have to uproot
for a while now.

Oh, okay, great. Uh, sorry I'm late.

Oh, no, you picked the perfect day.

Everybody's getting some
well-deserved R and R.

- Shirl's idea.
- Oh, thanks, Shirley.

Um, hey, Jack,
can I talk to you when you're done here?

Well, yeah, no, of course.
We just, uh, finished up, actually.

No, Bun Bun. Of course not.

Oh.
Okay, okay, um, anger has its place.

But I can't waste my day off
not fully focused on work.

Hello?

Uh, there may be something, uh,
wrong with your line, Bun Bun.

You want my advice,
or do you want to keep pretending

there's something wrong
with the line over there?

Yeah. You know, I do say that, uh,
advice is like ice cream.

Yeah, that's great, Herb.
Just listen, okay?

Women, like games of chance,
live in realms beyond reason, okay?

A mystic mindset is called for.
Hunches, omens, instincts.

Not avalanches
of explanatory blah, blah, blather.

But if I'm clear and open with her,
and she's clear and open with me...

Disaster. That's a disaster.
Look at me, okay?

I'm working hard
to get my girl up to the moon, right?

Now, do I talk her ear off about that?
No, I don't.

Do I heed certain auspicious signs?
Absolutely.

Which have coalesced over and over again
around milk, milk, and dairy in general.

Look at this, look at this. Right here.

Volts by three on the money line
with 61 ringers.

Now, what size do you buy milk in?

Sixty-four, 64 ounces, come on.
Simple math.

I see.

Herb, if you love her,
find your milk and follow it.

Okay. Won't be so hard to do
considering you haven't cleaned up.

- Ooh!
- Ah, Herb.

- f*ck. Oh, no, no, no. Yes!
- Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, Eddie.

Okay.

Oh, Herb, you're a genius.
Look at that. Look at that!

Mr. Costopoulos?

Oh.

Oh!

Mr. Costopoulos?

Are you okay, Mr. Costopoulos?

Yes, ma'am.

Now, I reviewed the complaint form
you "sumbitted"... submitted.

You have to be more careful.

- Here, let me help you.
- No need. Please.

As I was saying, I reviewed
and found no legal grounds for complaint.

Your contract "stilputates" the...
The departure window up to six months.

Jesus, why did I even bother?
I'm never getting up there.

On an entirely s-separate note,

I have engaged the entity in a 97C4I.
Failure to comply.

Really? What's that?

Forms they neglected to file.

So jus... just paperwork?

F-Forms, ma'am,
appropriately filled and filed,

are the lifeblood
of our orderly commercial society.

And further noncompliance
constitutes contempt,

which puts it in my power, in cooperation
with the courts, to make arrests.

Oh, my God. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, you hit them with this,

and some manager somewhere
is finally gonna pay attention

and get me out of here.

Oh.

You're my hero.

I resent the insinuation, ma'am.

Oh, no, I won't tell anybody. Now,
what does it take to get them arrested?

Well, if they engage in further sales.

Mmm. Let's hope they don't do that, right?

Don't talk like that, okay?

There is no blue blood
who is any better than you, you got it?

You like this girl, right?

I mean,
I've been planning on asking her out

ever since I bought my pet fish
at the store where she works.

How old is the fish?

Three, almost four.

Oof. But you pulled it off, right?
And the date went great.

Well...

he said I can't take her out again
until he meets my parents.

Ah. Whoa.

Oh, well, maybe you know someone
who could pinch-hit?

I mean, I got a son about your age.
I could probably pass.

Is this crossing some
kind of line, professionally?

Here's the thing about love, kid.
None of those lines matter.

Sticking by her. That's the only rule.

Well, then how about today? Uh, maybe.

Perfect.

Okay. Well, then
thanks... Dad.

f*ck.

Bunch of parlayed props, zone-in to start.
Volts win, money line.

All right here if you forget. You see how
the shake smeared off Ramosa and six?

Mm-hmm. It's very solid.

Puts me and my lady on the moon
in one game.

Not for nothing,

but lunar residence doesn't strike me
as the most stable sector.

And I'd clock that
to cover current obligations.

Well, I'm making it my outlay.

That puts you over the line.

Below the line, it's your knee.

Above the line, it's knees that ain't
yours and you might care about.

Lock it in.

Milk, baby!

Mr. Costopoulos, I came to apologize.

I shouldn't have spoken to you that way.

- It's hardly anomalous in my "oppucation."
- Oh.

Often, it's worse.

Oh.

You have a beautiful dog. Mmm.

She's passed.

My condolences.

I just wanted to hand this over
from Lunar HQ.

"Der seven. Craxt LP.

Slash plus utrew five."

Solar winds. Hell on our Telex system.

Just wanted to show you,

I'm trying to get the info we owe you
and explain the delay.

If there's any way that I can
put my boys back to work in the meantime.

- They really can't survive without it.
- This is incomprehensible.

Well, exactly. And it's all I can get
right now, so...

You should care more
about your customers, ma'am.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm sorry. I regret saying it.

Good day.

Also,
I told him that I'm regional manager.

You took my job.
Well, that makes me CEO.

Well, no, 'cause then I'm only here
because I'm your son,

so I was thinking
maybe you're just regional manager too.

Oh, wow. You are a bulldog on a deal, kid.

Are you boys the moon men?
'Cause this little birdie's ready to fly.

- Oh, sure, ma'am. How can we help?
- Uh, we're closed today.

Well, maybe for all the other girls,
but what about for me?

Uh, yeah, sorry. Goodbye now.

And remember, no business
with the old man tonight.

He'll be looking for any excuse
to count you out.

Good afternoon, JetBall fans.

Another double-malted, please.

Coming right up, sir.

Don't mix it yet. Wai... Wai... Wait, wait.

N... Now.

Hikaru Makoto steps up to home-zone

to lead-off the opening inner
of what's sure to be a nail-biter.

Hello, guest. What will it be?

Hey, Eddie. So I thought about
what you said, and I called Betty...

Herb, with great affection,
I cannot have the domestic beef

and perpetual failure report near me
right now.

- Okay? Please.
- It was gonna be...

Oh, hello, sluggers.

I know we've had our troubles,

but I've wised up, and I'm ready
to double down on the moon market.

- Can you boys help me out?
- It's our day off, so, no chance.

Ah. Well, how about you, boss?

You wanna sell me something special?

Customer does come first.

Don't you lift a g*dd*mn finger, Herb.
After what she did to you.

You... Get the f*ck hence, harpy.
Game of a lifetime here.

Scram. You're gootchin' me.

Whoa.

- One more vanilla malted, please.
- Coming right up.

Just like my pal here.

Go! Go! Yes! Yes! Yes!

You just did that, Herb.
You just did that!

You stay right here.
- You drink with me, you miracle.
- Yes!

You know,
I played right-zone back in junior high.

In junior high. I know,
you told me, Herb. About 15 times.

Come sit, everybody.
Make yourselves comfortable.

Joseph tells me you're in sales,
door-to-door.

Must have spent most of his childhood
on the road.

- Absolutely, out always providing for us.
- No, no, no. I didn't miss a thing.

Well, it felt like I was gone
more than I was.

Boys need their dads, right?

Don't you find the itinerant lifestyle
breeds loose morals?

Lustful gypsies and such?

Sir, if the road teaches you one lesson,
it's folks don't buy your product,

- they buy your character.
- Mmm.

I raised this boy
to be the straightest arrow out there.

- The Jet just overthrew and the Dynamo...
- f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!

Who, Herb?

Who let these lobotomized puddles
of shame take the field?

- I don't know.
- What genius? g*dd*mn it.

Hey, do you really think it makes
a difference how much milkshake we drink?

I mean, the players don't actually
know we're doing it.

Well, it's all we got kid,
so suck it down, huh?

Mmm. Sucking it down for you, Eddie.

You know he did two majors at college?

- Had to talk him out of three.
- Mmm?

- Dad...
- A triple major at Richmond State?

What would have been the third?

Philanthropy.

Philosophy.

- It's a little joke of ours, together.
- Yeah.

You guys get along great.

What a bond. It's nearly unbelievable.

Not to mention, the Dean
of Business at Richmond State

didn't seem to remember much
about your career there.

Mmm?

Would you excuse us a moment,
my angel? Please.

That's a double-zone set
by the Dynamo and that means

more bad news for the Volts
as the Dynamo takes the lead...

You know, I'm really starting
to understand your passion

for sports and betting.

It's great fun.

As long it doesn't threaten
your personal relationships

or great opportunities at work.

Herb, workers who worship their work
are doomed to die working.

This is my ticket out of all that sh*t.

Phyllis must have
told you I served in the w*r.

I was a scout.

Got so I could tell
by the hairs on my neck

if we were facing down an ambush
from those brainwashed crods.

I wish I had been old enough to enlist.

Quit shining me on, mister.

'Cause the hairs on my neck
are screaming over you two

and whatever cheap con
you're running here.

Easy, now. Listen, this is a good kid.

- He's a bullshitter in a bargain-bin suit.
- Hey, watch it.

Excuse me. Jack, I need a minute.

- Not now, Shirl.
- Sure. I'll be packing.

All right.

We'll figure all this out. Two seconds.

This has to be now?

What's going on in there
that's so important?

It's not sales.

I can't fix our problems.

Guy's got it in for us. Let's move on.

- Not gonna happen.
- Why?

- Don't cook up some answer for me.
- No, of course not.

Why are we stuck here?
Why are you throwing money around?

Well, don't stop there, Shirl.
What else you got?

- The car.
- Ah, geez.

- It's a company car, like I said.
- I didn't buy it then either.

What the hell is going on, Jack?

I don't know, Shirl. You tell me.
You seem to have it all figured out.

You're walking away?

- The kid needs my help.
- Congrats, Jack.

Help the kid in need
and then let everything else go to hell.

Is he okay? You work with them, yeah?

My dad's being a real prick in there.

- I'm Phyllis.
- Shirley.

You can see Jack cares
so much about his son.

Would you please tell him I'm sorry
if I don't get the chance?

- Now, look, pal.
- You hold your tongue.

Oh, no. You hold your f*cking tongue.

Stop! I was just about to...
I was just about to tell him the truth.

About how Mom... was in an accident...

pretty bad, and sh-she's still not out
of the woods yet, but...

Well, how you'd been gone for a while,

but you came back to help. And, uh...

Oh. Oh, Joe, come here,
you didn't have to...

I done a lot that I'm not proud of.

And the truth is...

I left his mom when he was a boy.

And he has been man enough

to let me back into his life.

And now, really, I'd be lost without him.

Tell you this, though.

He's taken the worst punches
life has to offer,

and all it's done is left him
ready for anything.

And if that's not what you want
for your daughter,

I feel sorry for her.

I'm sorry about your mother, Joe.
I know what it's like.

I know you do.

I still keep my Charlene right here
by my heart.

Phil, would you like me to...

Yes. Please.

- The end of eight and a half innings.
- Come on.

Dynamo six, Volts four.
Volts fans looking very nervous right now.

- We need to talk, Ed.
- No. No.

- Bit bigger than the game.
- I am not a man

you wanna be seen with right now,
Shirl, okay?

Get lost, stranger.

I don't have time or money
for your famine-racked orphans, okay?

This will be the half-inning
that will be the determining one

for the series champion.

Hearts are beating,
pulses are racing on every...

Orphans, huh?

The Vistaville Volts, facing impossible
headwinds, pray for a miracle.

I told myself I was done weeping for her.

- What?
- But...

that's her smell.

Down by two zones,

let's see if Johnny Zapp can
turn this mess around for the Volts.

Uh, Herb, it's dawning on me I might have
made a decent-sized mistake here.

Well, I guess we better
keep drinking then.

Oh, God. This is what it's like to die.

I'm floating. I hear my mother's voice
calling from the kitchen.

Ooh, line drive.

That ball has ripped to right field,
sailing towards the foul pole.

- And the call is out of bounds.
- What?

- No. No. No!
- Oh, boy!

- No zones for Zapp.
- What? Are you kidding?

- It sailed wide right by a hair.
- No, it didn't.

Look at it again!

How can that happen? How can that happen?

Oh, sh*t.

I do not prefer my evenings
to end this way.

Well, me neither.

Count back to two strikers
and Zapp with one last Hail Mary try.

You and me. We're gonna chug
like my life depends on it.

Come on. Chug. Chug. Chug.

Herbie? Herbert Porter.

You!

- Little Miss Spread-'Em-Wide.
- No, no, no!

- No, no! She's just a customer, Bun Bun.
- Herb, here comes the pitch! Herb!

Oh.

Going! Going! Gone!

- I won. We wo... We won.
- It's an all-zoners grand slam!

- I just... We won.
- Volts win! Volts win!

Shirley. Shirley!

We won. I... I won. Milk, milk.

- You're my milk, Bun Bun.
- I won!

And what's that mean?

I have no idea. But it's great.

- We won.
- Mmm.

I won!

You see, there...
There are minerals in certain craters

that absorb light so at night,
they kind of glow.

Now, say I wanted to help

my daughter's young suitor here
with some extra commission.

Who doesn't need
another write-off, right, Jack?

Well, I'm happy to help, Phil,
but it turns out it's our day off.

Ah, don't run games on me,
Jacky, this day off, slow-play nonsense.

It's... It's okay, Dad. I don't mind.

There is plenty of time
for business later.

Hell, we might know each other
our whole lives.

Yeah. I can take a hint, Jack.

Jack.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well...

It was better that you didn't know.

Let's get out of the hallway, okay?

He's out in the bar anyway.

He... He... Who... Who is?

Your son, Jack. Come on.

You know, he's not actually...

uh...

fully up to speed on that yet.

So, please. I'm not proud of this,
but, yeah, he's my boy.

So he doesn't know,
but that girl and her dad do?

Well...
what we told them was a lie,

but what I'm telling you now,
Shirl, is the truth.

My God, Jack.

Your family up on the moon, do they know?

Well, as far as they go,

it turns out it's easier to sell people

as a loving father
and husband than as I, uh, you kn...

I never told you so you never had to lie.

Pretty lonely life you made for yourself.

No, come o... I've got the best people
in the world with me.

Mm-hmm.

- Sorry it had me acting so strange.
- Mmm.

You know you have to tell him.

Of course,
but there's a lot I can do for him

without him hating me
for who I used to be.

Once he's up on his feet,
I'll tell him everything.

- It'll be up to him.
- Mm-hmm.

Good luck with that. I mean it.

You know what? I'm gonna tell him tonight.

He's a great kid, and if he doesn't
get it now, he never will. Right?

Good for you. It won't be easy.

Night.

Now, look here, Mr. Montes.

If Phyllis is going
to be dating a salesman,

then you better not be the kind
who wastes easy money by,

you know, taking days off.

So, I'm... I'm thinking,
if you're still interested,

maybe we could, um, do some business.

Now that's my kind of attitude, Joe.

Not really in the mood, Ed.

Okay. Is this about the important thing
you wanted to tell me?

No.

Turned out to be nothing.

'Kay. Um, you wanna hear
my, uh, important thing then,

which is actually, uh...
Oh, it's not nothing.

So I spent my whole life saying,
"This is the moment.

This is the moment that my whole life
has been leading up to."

But this, this is really it.

Jesus, Eddie.

Because if it's a yes from you about this,

I will never want bigger than that. Ever.

- Lot B-18.
- Midsize B-Plex.

Full of charm, full of charm.

Let's call it a beginning of, uh,
of more than we can currently know.

It's great, Eddie. You did great.

Um, excuse me, this is now.
This... Are we doing this or what?

You're really serious.

Shirley, powerful forces are at work here.

They are not to be spurned.

And... I love you.

I love you, Shirley.

It's kinda scary
how good you were on your feet.

Now, do we need to have a birds-and-bees
talk before your next date?

Uh, no.
No, I think I'm all right without that.

You are an impressive young man, Joe.

N... You know, strange as it may sound,

I... I meant a lot of what I said in there.

And, uh...

And...

I know that you can't stand him.

But wherever he is...

I bet your dad would be proud
to call you his son.

Well...
Thanks for everything, Jack.

I would've given up on it without you.

"Give up"? Never.

Not my son. Get out of here.

Good night.