01x01 - The Bounty Hunter

[bunniefuu]

Huh.

Hmm...

Ugh.

Hmm. Guess it's takeout.

Hmm...

That was quick.

Hey, there!

One order of flaming-hot Flor Grub for...

What was the name?

No name. I'm paying with yerbles.

Huh? What the...

You forgot the tip.

What the...

Sabo Brok?

Meethal Raythox, you're wanted
for skipping bail in the Zoltair system.

How'd you find me? I was so careful.

I really thought I gave 'em... the slip.

Ah!

Why they always gotta run?

KRS, target is on the move.

Oh!

Huh?

Gotcha.

KRS, make a note.

No more bounties
on liquid-based life-forms.

Huh?

Wait. He's liquid.

Mmm?

Guess
you'd rather fly travel size.

On the run, cut off from his squad,

and running from a past
he'd rather forget,

the fearless mercenary
LaserFire st*lks his prey.

Um, what are you doing?

It's called role-playing, Lisa.

And I find that having
a compelling backstory

gives me an extra edge
that the other guys don't have.

Whatever, ya dork.

Yo, Sean. Where are you?

Oh! Sorry, guys.

Oh my gosh. Did he get lost?

He's using those annoying voices again.

All right, guys. All we need to do
is draw them out into the open.

Sean, you get out there
and run interference.

They got a rail g*n, but the rest of us
can ambush them from our hiding place.

Just wait for my signal.

Ready!

LaserFire springs into action.

Spots his quarry
and has found them wanting.

Surprise is his ally.

- Uh-oh!
- Blast 'em, Sean!

- What just happened?
- Aw, man! Sean, what the...

Sean, you dummy!
You just gave away our location!

Sorry, guys. I-I freaked.

Why do we even let you play with us?

Way to go, Twitchy.

Hey! Cut it out.

Nobody gets to pick on my brother
except for me.

Is that your sister, Sean?
Tell her to shut it.

Um, what did he say?

Sorry, guys. I'll do better next time.
I-I think it's just lag on my end.

- Ejected!
- Guys?

What happened?

They kicked me out of the group.

Hey! It's just a game, right?

Yeah.

Give it to me.

But you'll have to play on the other team.

Perfect.

Evatrax.

Okay, guys. Focus.

Yeah, don't screw it up!

Let's team up on ol' Bug Eyes.

Hey, Damien. Think fast.

Fall back!

Anyone have a night vision kit?

There are sheep,

and there are wolves, Sean.

Hello? Mike?

Mike, where are you?

Michael's gone, Darren.

Sean? Is that... is that you?

No, Darren.
I'm something much worse.

- Whoo!
- Yeah, baby!

We won.

We won.

We did it!

Well, you did it. I'm worse than a bot.

Hey! No, you're not.

Don't let those guys get to you.

Yeah.

All right, guys. Let's go.
Your father should be here any minute.

"Got held up. Can you drop them off?"

Of course you did, Terry.

Shotgun!

So! Dad's taking you
to Splashtown for your birthday.

Are you excited, Sean?

Yeah, I can't wait!

I'm gonna make him go
on all the waterslides with me this time.

There's this one, The Devastator!

It has so many turns in it,

they have to constantly clean it out
because so many people barf in it!

That's disgusting.

Well, I'm sorry
I'll be missing out on that.

I'm sure you and your dad
will have a great time.

Surprised he can even find
time to hang out with us.

Lisa!

What? You know I'm right.

Besides, Sean knows
his real birthday is with us next weekend.

This isn't about keeping score
between me and Dad.

But if it was,
that game would be a shutout.

Terry.

That's right, Charlie.
We're go. I'm on the move.

Wow.

Pew, pew, pew.

Dad's really leaning
into the divorced-guy thing.

Hey. Hey, hey. Hey.

No. We're not divorced.
We're just... separated.

- And this place may be a little rough...
- ...but he's doing his best.

I-I guess.

Did someone order takeout?

Daddy!

Hey! Sorry I'm late, guys.

I had to drop my truck off.

I wanna ride in your truck!

Oh yeah?
Gonna help me make deliveries, huh?

I've never seen it.

Hey, little man. What's up with the...

those crazy g*ns?
Huh! You been working out?

Yeah, I'm getting swole, right?

And how's my girl doing?

What? We aren't doing kisses anymore?

Yeah. Didn't you get the memo?

Wow! What are these?!

I think it's supposed to be...

art?

Hey, Lisa. Think fast.

Hey! Does that look like a toy to you?

Uh... Yes?

Uh, well... it's not.

Hey, Terry? Can we, uh, talk for a minute?

What's with Sean's face?
I thought he was over that.

His tic has been getting worse.
The doctor says it's caused by stress.

Stress? What's he got
to be stressed about? He's eight.

Uh... I'm kidding.

Terry, can you take this seriously?

And we have to talk
about the Lisa incident.

What incident?
I thought she was doing great.

Here's what happened.

The kids were supposed
to be doing a fundraiser for the new gym.

But instead of selling
chocolate bars like a normal kid,

your daughter decided
to set up a gambling den.

What, were they betting
marbles or something?

No, Terry.
It was high-stakes poker.

♪ Money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money ♪

She cleaned them all out.

Sorry, Reggie. This just isn't your week.

I know.

I mean, come on.
He lost to a child. He had it coming.

Terry, definitely not the point.

The parents were furious. All the money
she raised had to be returned.

And I'm pretty sure she hired
a seventh-grader to go around and collect.

See? She's creating job opportunities.

Terry.

All right. I'll talk to her.
I'll set her straight.

It's not just about
"setting her straight."

The kids really need you right now.
And when you're here, you need to be here.

I-I know you hate my job,
and I hate being away all the time,

but it's good money.

I just need one, maybe two big runs,
and we'll be set for a while.

You know what? I really hope so.

Did we not just talk about this?

Okay. I am going to take off.

- You guys all good?
- Yep.

Sean, remember
to take your allergy medicine.

I will.

Lisa, take lots of pictures
and send them to me.

We will, Mom.

Bye, Tess.

Bye, Terry.

Who's ready for c*ck?

Ooh! I am!

You don't even know what that means.

One more joke, Dad! One more!

- Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
- No!

Dad, you're k*lling me.

Why did the invisible man
turn down the job?

I don't know.

He couldn't see himself doing it!

That's lovely, Sean.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
What movie you guys wanna watch?

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Let's watch The Legend of Ga-Hoo!

Uh-uh. No. Not again.

Sorry, son. Five times
is my limit on Ga-Hoo.

I'm seeing those horrible little gremlins
in my dreams.

Let's watch Snow Dad.

Yeah! Snow Dad!

Snow Dad? What's that, a Christmas movie?

No.

It's about a dad
who flakes on his family all the time,

but then he gets in a car crash and dies.

What?!

Yeah. But he comes back to life
as a snowman.

Oh. Okay. So, he doesn't die?

Well, sort of.

He comes back to life
as a snowman for a little while

so he can help his son
win a sledding competition.

He learns how cool his kid is

and actually spends time
with him for once.

You might relate.

- S-Sounds like some nonsense.
- Sean loves it.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, hey! Where you going?
I thought we were gonna watch something.

I got... homework to do before the trip.

Homework?

So...

Wanna play video games?

And this is a quantum carpet b*mb.

Oh yeah?

It's an epic weapon. You can use it
to call in an air strike on your enemies.

But you only get one.

That is awesome, man.
That's... that's cool.

Dad? Can I get more ice cream?

Sure. Yeah, man. Go ahead.

Can we get a dog?

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Mmm.

Yes!

Dad?

Huh?

Sean!

Hey, Terry.

Cute kid you got there.

I'm with the Conglomerate.

I know who you are. Why are you here?

We came to offer you a job.

How'd you even find this place?

It wasn't easy.

But we like to keep tabs
on operators of your caliber.

We tried going through your fixer,
but she kept turning us away.

Yeah. 'Cause I'm busy this weekend.

Dad?

Who is he?

Just someone from work, Sean.

Go play.

We have a time-sensitive matter
that we need your assistance with.

We need you to intercept an individual

who's been causing
quite a bit of trouble for us.

It's all in the file.

Like I said, I'm not available.

This is what we're willing
to pay for your services.

Look, man. I told you...

Wow.

That's a... that's a really big number.

Should give you an idea
how important this is to us.

With the money
you stand to make from this run,

you can afford
a much better life for your son.

And your daughter.

I didn't tell you I had a daughter.

The individual's last known location
is on the crystal.

Y'all got some nerve doing me like this.

So is that a yes?

Fine.

I'll do it.

Excellent. I knew
you'd make the right decision.

We'll be in touch.

Happy hunting.

Uh, by the way, people down here
tend to knock at the front door.

Dad? I don't like that guy.

Yeah. Me neither.

Hey, little man. We need to talk.

What happened?

Dad... has to go to work.

No, he didn't.

It was short notice,
and I didn't have much at the house,

but I whipped up a little something.

Thanks for doing this last minute, Mama.

- I owe you.
- You don't owe me anything.

You owe these kids.

Hi, Grandma.

No hugs, or kisses, or anything?

Listen, big man. I wouldn't be doing this
unless it was an absolute emergency.

I just gotta make this run,
but when I get back,

we're gonna take you
to Splashtown no matter what. Okay?

Mm-hmm.

Lisa...

Dad's boss is so mean!

Why do they make him work so much?

Don't let Dad off the hook.
He doesn't always have to say yes, Sean.

I don't wanna stay here.

I wanna go with him.

Wait. What'd you say?

I wish we could go with Dad to work.

That's what I really want
for my birthday weekend.

Oh, man. He'd be so mad.

Hmm.

Come with me.

Whoa!

Dad really needs to stop buying
all these tacky decorations.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Get rid of the case.

Lisa? Sean? Can I get a goodbye hug?

All right. I get it.

Shh.

Wow! Dad's car can really rip!

Why are the lights moving... down?

That was weird.

Okay. Ready? On three.

One, two, three!

Surprise!

Huh?

Uh... What is this?

Dad?

I don't think this is Dad's truck.

Excuse me. I do not think
you are supposed to be here.

Alert. Intruders.

No running in the halls.

Restricted area.

And no running in the halls.
Freshly waxed floors.

No running in the...

What the...

- Dad?
- Daddy?

What are you guys doing here?

What are we doing here?

What the heck is this?

Oh my gosh.

Are we in space?!

Dad? What is happening?

Sir, there appears to be
several stowaways onboard.

Thanks for the news flash, KRS.

Dad! What is happening?

- What do these do?
- Lisa, it's okay.

Please, stop touching the buttons.

Please, stop touching the buttons.

Please, stop touching the...
Please, stop touching...

- Sean!
- Dad! What is happening?

Whoa! Don't touch that!

Sir, a large alien life-form
is approaching.

What now? Like a ship?

Negative. A large life-form
is headed directly towards us.

A Ring Devil.

Dad, look! I figured out
how to turn on the lights!

Sean, don't touch another button.

Dad, what is that thing?

Ring Devil. Animus corpae predator.

Carnivorous.

Female.

Is it gonna eat us?

I believe it is signaling
that it wishes to mate with us.

Cool!

Ew! What does that even look like?

I do not wanna find out.

Seat belts, now!

Seat belts? What seat belts?

Cool!

KRS, ready turbines on three.

One, two, three!

Rockets primed.

Hit it!

It's mad! Why is it mad?!

Interesting factoid.
When the female initiates courtship,

she bites off the head
of the male as part of the ritual.

Cool! Like a praying mantis!

Oh my gosh!

KRS! Can you please
stop telling them the stuff?

Sir, we have a 90% probability
of a mortal collision.

I am aware, KRS!

Hang on!

Full power.

Aw, she sounds sad.

Don't worry, fish monster.
The right one is still out there.

Your mom's gonna k*ll me.

This is so much cooler than Splashtown.

This season
on My Dad the Bounty Hunter...

Space is not a place for kids!

It's dangerous...

Been a long time.

...there's bad guys.
You could get lost.

We need you to intersept an individual

who's been causing
quite a bit of trouble for us.

Our mission is to get paid.
So we can get you guys back home.

- Everything okay with the kids?
- Oh yeah. Nah, super good. Super good.

Wait. You're like a bounty hunter?

Target is on the move.

"Bounty hunter" comes with
a lot of negative connotations.

We sorta prefer the term
"fugitive recovery specialist."

Huh?

But yeah, no, you're right. Bounty hunter.