01x02 - Rad Bunny

[bunniefuu]

I think this time you went too far.

Stop getting close
I'm not going to kiss you.

You want to see me naked
Not gonna happen.

COMING SOON

You know what,
bring that mic farther back.

And that chair, we're going
to take it to the main stage.

Leave it there, they'll pick it up.

What's up, dude?

How have you been, man?

What's up, bro?

- How you been, man? You good?
- Good, good, good.

I'm here for my name tag to sell.

But I've been checking my email
and I never got one. It's weird.

Not happening this year, Bubble.

No f*cking way. Why?

You ripped Simpson off, bro.
Stop f*cking around, man.

- Let's see?
- Son of a b*tch.

Erwin? What's up my dude?
How you been, bro? What's going on?

What's up, dog?
How are you doing? How you been?

Great, man. They didn't give you sh*t
for that mess with the pills?

f*ck off, man.

I'm here as staff for these girls.

People who come with the talent,
don't get asked questions.

Hey man, I'm here promoting an artist.
Can you hook me up?

No f*cking way, bro.
I could get in trouble, man.

You pissed Simpson off, bro.

You want some poppers for Triana?

- Sure.
- That's what I'm talking about.

Hey, man! Take a picture of us.

- Right there.
- Don't move.

That's it.

There. Don't move.

Ready in three, two...

Stop getting close
I'm not going to kiss you.

You want to see me naked
Not gonna happen.

Look, papi. Our first concert, dude.

At the fest? No f*cking way.
That's some talent, Bubble.

- f*ck yeah, man. Trojans was right, bro.
- f*cking Trojans.

Trapatitlan performed at that sh*t
in 2018 and then blew up.

- That's right.
- f*ck yeah, that's right.

Hell yeah, man.

There might be a bit of a problem.
Really a micro problem.

We have to sell 50 tickets
for five minutes.

No f*cking way.
You're going to make me sell tickets?

Yeah, dude.

But bro, sales are in your DNA.

What do you want cigarettes, condoms?
You're the sh*t, I've seen you sell.

Fifty?

Whatever it takes
to get out of this f*cking place.

That's right, bro.

f*ck.

See? You give people the benefit
of the doubt and look what they do.

m*therf*cker, man.

Are they going to charge you for that,
or can I steal a soup?

- What's up, Data?
- What's up?

You lose something?
You could knock at least.

It was open. We set a meeting
at the studio to touch base.

f*ck off. What meeting? And what studio?

It's my house
and I'm in the middle of a job.

Job? No way. You're photo shopping
a baby that isn't even yours.

I'm going to use your bathroom.
In five minutes you start your real job.

What's up, Data?

Party at this girl's house.
Come on in, man.

What can I get you, coffee or a beer?

No f*cking way, Flex.
You smell like sh*t.

Next time this guy shows up
without bathing, we don't let him.

Imagine what his work uniform
smells like.

No way, man.

I'm not going to waste
water like a dumb-a*s.

f*cking planet is going to sh*t.

Alright, guys. Listen up.

I called you...

- Guys, I really have to finish this.
- Sneaker Fest 2023.

The rules are simple Fifty tickets
for five minutes. f*ck yeah.

Besides, it won't cost us anything.

You think success comes for free?
No f*cking way.

Empires are built on hard work,
sweat and blood.

And sl*very.

That's right.

All right.

Bubble, let's go sell.

Leave these guys to Photoshop
and go twerking outside a store.

Later then. You guys clean up.
Especially you, stinky m*therf*cker.

Go sell some bootleg shoes, f*ck.

f*ck off.

Hey, are you doing anything today?

No, nothing, until tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm selling ice cream.

I have this thing I have to go to.
But I don't want to go.

It would help if you came with me.
We can smoke out before.

And maybe we can sell
some of those tickets.

You down?

Damn, they're expensive.

Yeah.

I'm down.

Quinceañera videos? Really?

These things pay.

The parents throw the house out
the window when their princess turns 15.

- No, Dad! No!
- Alright, Wendy. Calm down, please.

Wendy.

Pau, I'm so happy you made it.

- Why me? Get out! No.
- Calm down.

- Bad Bunny died.
- No way.

- What? They k*lled Bad Bunny?
- They f*cked him up outside a club.

No way.

Relax. She's talking about
a Bad Bunny imitator, Rad Bunny.

We're going to have
to cancel the whole show.

What? No, no. What do you mean?
It's a super important day for Wendy.

She wants her show.

Paulina, where are we going
to get another Bad Bunny?

Well... I have a friend who raps.

- Right, Flex?
- Why?

I don't know. I'd have to see him.
I mean, Wendy would have to see him.

Wendy, my dear, come here.

We got you another Bad Bunny.

Thank you, thank you!

No, it's not him. Come here.

Does he know "Calladita"?

Of course.

I can tell you're thirsty.
Buy you a beer, if you buy tickets.

Let me introduce myself

I'm Ugly Hey kid, pay attention.

You wanted talent?
I'll show it to you right now.

Relax, this isn't
So you give up your seat

I'm sure to mothers I look obscene.

It's the price to pay
For being all terrain.

Like the transport I have no breaks.

And look closely, I'm no worker
I'm the boss.

Check out this guy The one by my side.

Sure he's a college grad...

Check it out, guys, you already know.

You want a ticket to Sneaker Fest?
Do you want a ticket?

But hey bro don't worry

I have a plan
For when you're no longer busy.

Bubble and I have the tickets
To the most kick-a*s festival.

Raise your hand if you want one
Raise your hand and pitch in.

Don't look like that woman over there.

With the dog face...

- What the f*ck, bro?
- What, man?

It has to be badass, dude.
Not on the phone, bro.

- I'm moving it all over Mexico.
- f*ck it, I'm outta here.

I'm giving away flow
While you guys are broke.

We are very few the illuminated

I'm the light and shadow
Of this f*cking neighborhood.

For real, bro?
Not one f*cking ticket, Bubble?

Dude, it's because you aren't
putting any passion in it.

Spitting empty rhymes, bro.

Stop talking sh*t, Bubble.

People aren't ready for Ugly, man.

Don't get worked up, dude.

You know why I got this tattoo?

Because it looks cool?

No.

No way.

It was the first day
I sold a pair of Jordans.

That day I understood that I would
never work for the f*cking man.

- For real?
- f*ck yeah, dude.

You know what you call that?

I don't know, man. Anarchy, debauchery.
No idea man, tell me.

Burn down the f*cking bridges, Ugly.
Without looking back, dude.

And whatever that brings, f*ck it, man.

What do you propose?
Nobody is buying the tickets, bro.

The only one I sold
is to Esther, bro, my mom.

Yeah man, but you give up too fast, dog.
We have to f*cking move it, papi.

Why don't we sell them at your shop?

With the purchase of a ticket,
I don't know, a free pair of shoelaces.

Help me out, man.

No way, Ugly. No, man.
I have all my stock frozen.

Since they won't let me sell
at the f*cking Sneaker Fest,

what can I do? It's f*cked up.

Are you using me to sell shoes, my dude?

What do you think, chief?
No f*cking way, Ugly.

This is a win-win, man.
You sing, and I get to sell sneakers.

Win-win my ba*ls, dude.

Come on, man. Where are you going, dude?

Don't get mad, bro.

Whatever.

- Throw on a few more. They got cold.
- Yes, sir.

With green sauce.

Shouldn't be a problem, man.

A bit of make-up, and Ugly will
even be speaking like a Puerto Rican.

I have some sunglasses like that,
f*cking cool.

Bad Bunny's real name
is Benito Martínez.

No way, man.

No, I don't think this dude
will want to dress up like that

or wear make-up. He says
he's not a fan, but that's bullshit.

We went to see him together.

You have to help me convince him.

To do a live performance
and get paid, for a change.

Besides, if he performs well,
we can sell the tickets there,

to the teen girls.

It's a win-win.

A win-win. Goals aligned, right?

I like it. Sounds dope.

What the f*ck makes you think
I know how to imitate Bad Bunny?

I'd rather clean piss
on the street corner of Speedy Mart.

- Don't be so dramatic, dude.
- Bad Bunny sucks a*s, bro.

Stop it, man.

You're comparing yourself
to the world's most important artist.

When you haven't even recorded anything
and work in a Speedy Mart.

Exactly.

Why are you complaining?

We slept in the street two nights
to get front row seats.

Because you wanted to see him.

Because he's the sh*t, bro.
There, I said it.

Look, man.

If you want to touch the sky,
sometimes you gotta lick the floor.

How many tickets you sell?

The one that Esther bought from me.

Because this traitor only wants us
to go to Sneaker Fest to sell his shoes.

And you just want us to do this bullshit
so you don't lose your other jobs.

Dude, if you do this well,
we can sell all the tickets there.

- Yeah, it's like a win-win.
- That's right, man.

What'd I tell you
about your friends hanging out here?

- They're leaving.
- f*ck off!

- This guy, man...
- Think about it. They pay well.

Go on, you too Flex.

Okay.

Did you eat already?
Hope so, because we don't have anything.

- Here.
- What's this?

It's for the ticket to the Fest.
It's not going to happen.

You were my only customer.

I'll just keep my ticket.

I'm telling you
it's not going to happen.

Fine. And if it does,
I already have my ticket, right?

On to other news.

Mariana is going to tell us
about the Bad Bunny concert.

Over to her.

Before we go, Ciro,
let's see what happened

with the ticket sales
to the Bad Bunny concert

that will be taking place
in the Monterey Arena.

Hundreds of fans
have been waiting since Monday.

Since early Monday, hundreds of fans

have been camping
outside the ticket booths.

The cost of the tickets
ranges from 800 up to 10,000 pesos.

Papi, what the hell is going on?

I look like an idiot.

You look...

fine.

What's with these shitty glasses?

Watch it, man.
Those are my exotic glasses.

No f*cking way, no f*cking way
I'm doing a Puerto Rican accent.

Dude, they're fifteen-year-old kids.

All they want is to grind on each other.

And don't go bringing
the mic too close to the monitors.

Plus, it's an honor to imitate him.

Ready?

- Nope.
- This guy knows it.

This sucks.

Yo, where the f*ck is Bad Bunny?

Chill the f*ck out,
or I will beat your a*s.

Really? You want some, bro? What?

That's what I thought.

- Hello, hello. How's everyone doing?
- Good!

- Are you having fun?
- Yes!

It's a pleasure to be sharing
this wonderful event with you.

Let's hear it for Wendy, who is
celebrating her 15th birthday today.

Wendy!

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy!

And to keep the party going,
to the rhythm of our star,

I give you Rad Bunny.

That's right! Bad Bunny, man!
Get your tickets!

Take that condom hat off!

She disappears
The reappears when she wants some.

It's been a couple times.

And if were up to me
I'd do her the whole week.

She acts like she doesn't...

Bad Bunny is Puerto Rican.
Do it like a Puerto Rican!

You ended up without clothing again
Asking for me to touch you.

She acts tough and then leaves.

She's with a friend...

Look at this guy.

Mom, this looks like a joke.

Get out!

- Get him out of here!
- Flex, turn this sh*t off.

No way. He's identical.

Bubble, shut up, dude.

Get him off the stage already!

Yeah! Get out!

Ugly. I can't believe
you're doing this to me.

I told you I was no imitator.
Not even the birthday girl enjoyed it.

Everybody was filming me.

Shut up, Mom. I hate you!

This can't be! I hate you all!

Look, Paulina.

I paid for 40 minutes of Bad Bunny.
Give them to me or pay me back.

You useless, good for nothing bum.

The cheap imitation
of that rapper was no good.

Son of a b*tch.

Nobody talks
to my creative director that way.

The one who got off
the stage was me, not her.

We didn't finish
because your party is garbage

and your spoiled brat
doesn't accept that Bad Bunny

doesn't play garbage parties.

And by the way,
he's not just some rapper.

He's a f*cking legend.

That's right.

Flex.

- Let's roll.
- Yeah.

Do it, bro.

Bad Bunny, baby.

Good night.

Flex, play "La Dificil." Full blast.

For real?

If I have to lick the floor
to touch the sky,

I'm going to leave that b*tch shiny.

Believe it.

I drink the Peri Give me a sodi.

Spend the money Smell the peri.

AC and later an M
Trying to recall those fallen yesterday.

And those no longer here.

Today I want to forget his street
See everything purple like lip.

Today I want to travel I'm a rock star.

Until my heart doesn't respond.

The sorrows I turn into hits
I got the pills on repeat.

Today I want to travel like a rock star.

With a bottle full of percs
And a porn star.

All the sadness and others drugs too

I take a thousand substances
That make me feel good

I drank from her lips
But didn't fall in love.

Flying so high now My head wants to fall.

Everything is cloudy
I don't know what's real.

It's getting complicated
Recognizing what's real.

Ugly, you put on a solid show, man.

What'd you think of the girls?

They're quite hysterical.

Thank you, Mr. Ceviches.

Don't call me mister. Just Ceviches.

You can count on me
for whatever you want.

Really, whatever you want.

Son, how many tickets do you have left?

- Like twenty, boss.
- Give them to me.

Yes, yes, yes.

Cheers. Let's keep the party going.

Cocaine anyone?

Cheers.

You were hooking up with his girl?

Hi. Can I have your Insta?

- Sure thing. Of course.
- Thanks.

You know the deal, right?

Follow us, give us a like,
and post really cool things, okay?

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

Is this what success tastes like?

I hated you. No, I really hated you.

But I think now I will love you forever.

No, I swear. I love you.

I'm serious, I love you.

No, no, I mean I love him.

- She's all f*cked up.
- She's wasted.

I think that girl is bipolar.

I'm really sorry, bro.

I mean, it wasn't cool for me
to look out only for myself.

Sorry, dude.

You deserve better
from your damn manager.

Moving forward, Bubble, only forward.

We need to think like a crew.

That's the only way
we will be a real team.

Homies, just think
what we can accomplish.

I'm in.

Me too. Today more than ever.
Let's burn f*cking bridges!

You really kicked a*s, bro.

Is that a yes?

What are we going to call ourselves?
Ugly crew? It's a cool name, right?

To the Ugly Crew, m*therf*ckers.

From bullshit birthday parties
to filling stadiums, f*ck it.

- That's right.
- Yeah.

You know it, bro.

- So, let's get to it, right?
- Let's roll.

Today I want to forget this street
See everything purple like lip.

Today I want to travel I'm a rock star
Until my heart doesn't respond.

Bro? I warned you, man.
We have to ask you to leave.

Bro, I'm not here as a vendor.

I'm the f*cking manager
of the legend you're listening to, dude.

Take him out.

Hey, dude. What the f*ck?
What's wrong with you, man?

Get your f*cking dirty hand
off the Mexican Scooter.

Get this as*h*le out.

What? Get the f*ck off me, man.
Eat a d*ck, bro.

Eat d*ck.

Chill out, man. Scooter Braun?

Hell yeah. Scooter Braun is the sh*t.

Alright, Ugly. You're the man!

Yeah, Ugly!

I left everything connected.

Take care, bro.

- Later.
- Cool, bro.

Hey, Crack!

Hey, bro!

- f*cking Trojans was here, man.
- Right on.

Thanks for coming.

There she is, go get her.

Stop talking sh*t, Flex.
It's Triana, bro.

You're the one
always saying we have to believe.

Believe, bro.

- That was sh*t. The sound was off.
- No, bro.

- It's missing some depth.
- Relax, depth.

If a tree falls in the woods
and nobody sees it, did it really fall?

What are you talking about, Flex?
I heard it, dude.

That f*cking tree fell
and made a shitload of noise.

And besides, Data here, was filming it.

Soon we'll have a show, and a big crowd.

Ugly! Ugly! Ugly! Soon, right?

Nobody saw us. Everybody heard us.

A small step for Ugly Crew,
a big leap for trap, bro.

- Back to your place.
- No way. Somewhere else this time.

- Why?
- Why do you get so tight?

- We always hang there.
- So?

We can go to my crib.
It's filthy, man. I haven't cleaned.

What's up, bro?

No way.

Dude!

The track, whose is it?

The new drop from Trapatitlan, bro.
Pure angry hood sh*t.

- f*ck outta here.
- What, bro?

- I'm pissed, bro.
- What's going on?

His swag is fancy, happy, intellectual.

And on his neck hangs a...

Trapatitlan stole my bars, bro.

He has a chick by his side.

So we set it up To ride in like ten cars.

To make the drop offs
And get the stacks so we can party