01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

I'm going to die now.

f*ck.

f*cking hell.

Every night,

I imagined what it'd be like to die.

Would it feel exhilarating,

like jumping over a high hurdle?

Or would it feel liberating,

like throwing off soaking wet clothes?

Or maybe it would be as mundane as

walking from one subway car to the next.

You f*cking b*stard!

No.

Now that I'm facing it,

it's nothing like that at all.

I… I want to live.

I'll k*ll you!

I want to live.

I will k*ll you!

MR. PLANKTON

What? Another one died?

What's the problem?

Why do they keep dying?

This is driving me nuts.

Did your kid run away?

Are they a delinquent or simply a runaway?

Sure, finding people

is a piece of cake for us.

Two days, tops.

Just give us the name and date of birth.

- Long time no see.

- Hi.

We just need a three-million-won retainer

before we set out.

Hey! You idiot!

Blocking the f*cking road!

Sorry?

My boss doesn't do small jobs like this.

I'm in charge of this sort of thing.

If you're reluctant, go find someone else.

We're already swamped.

HAE JO ERRAND HOUSE

I'm saying this

because now only you two are left.

You guys had better die together

at the same time.

Don't leave the other one all alone.

Open the door, Hae Jo.

I know you're in there.

Open up!

We should replace this g*dd*mn door.

Oh no, ma'am!

Your shoe! I'll bring it right to you.

Here you go, ma'am.

- Open up.

- Sure. We must protect your fair skin.

g*dd*mn it!

He's not here.

Probably headed to the sauna for a scrub.

That g*dd*mn weasel.

Where did he run off to this time?

He does whatever the hell he wants.

He's like the rain. No stopping him.

He comes and goes as he pleases.

Don't you just love the smell of summer?

Hey, you. Lackey.

I'm Yoo Gi-h*, not "Lackey."

Lackey, you'd better tell your boss this.

His pretty face can only save him

until the month ends.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Get me some ice water.

Damn. It's boiling in here! Hey!

- Switch the fan on first.

- The fan! Of course.

It's so hot.

- f*ck.

- They'll tear down this building anyway.

Why does he have to be so stubborn

and send the union after me?

So annoying.

Freaking annoying.

I bet I'm the only landlady

who has to beg her tenants to move out.

You're a real saint in the rental market.

Drink up. Refreshing, right?

He's got no choice.

Tell him he should just move in with me.

- Sorry?

- He has nowhere else to go.

I'll take him in.

Good thing I just bought

a new king-size bed.

What the…? Just look at this.

You'll hurt your back sleeping

scrunched up on couches like this.

My God, this is…

Yes, they're moving out.

By the end of the month, yes.

What? What the f*ck?

If you guys show up here with an excavator

without my permission, you're dead.

I almost got crushed to death.

My foot's gone numb.

I told you

we needed to look for a new office,

or you really will end up

in that woman's bed.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Actually, I've been meaning to ask.

What's going on between you two?

- She's my mom.

- Mom?

A sister at times.

f*ck. g*dd*mn it!

- A friend, a lover.

- Disgusting!

Pick up your dog's poop!

You don't deserve to have a pet.

Financier, pimp, boss, landlady.

Whatever.

How can we move out

when we have no place to go?

You think that's why I hold out?

There's nowhere I want to go.

So I'm just staying put.

Whatever. Let's just get to work.

All right. Let's see what kinds of wackos

need our services today.

STAND-IN FOR SON NEEDED

This man wants us

to visit his dying mother

and stay by her deathbed.

- She doesn't recognize him anyway.

- Boring. Next.

That druggie from Sadang-dong

wants 200 zolpidem pills.

He's had his fun. Time to drop dead.

- Next.

- Next.

"My boss is on a work trip. k*ll him…"

We're not hitmen, you f*ck. Next.

This guy's asking us to take care of

some bullies at his son's school.

That sounds fun.

First,

we'll protect him in person for two weeks

while hacking the bullies' phones

to gather evidence.

Then press the authorities.

Seven-million retainer fee, plus bonus.

Seven million won for the Uncle Package.

That's inflation for you, man.

It's that damn girl again.

What is it?

She wants us to find her runaway brother.

This brat posted all over the board.

How am I supposed to delete all these?

A little girl?

A fourth grader.

How old could she be? Ten or eleven?

Eleven.

You didn't put up a notice?

"No teen missing-person or runaway cases."

sh*t.

- "sh*t"?

- Yes.

Why do everything but that?

Finding a missing family member

is easy, rewarding and good money.

It's a gold mine.

You're ruining our business.

Just toe the line.

How about I stick my toe up your a*s?

- My a*s?

- Yes.

And I wanna see your ID.

You're younger than me, aren't you?

Let me see it.

Would you prefer to work your a*s off

for a younger boss?

Then you can be my elder.

My big bro, Kkari.

You want to know why I don't take

missing person cases? It's simple.

If a parent loses their child,

it is their job to find them.

And if a kid runs away from home,

we should respect their decision.

In other words,

we have no reason to get involved.

Do you get it now?

Answer me, Kkari.

Yes, understood, boss.

Then hurry up and put up the notice.

And get some food too, f*ck.

"We don't take on missing person cases,

you f*cking morons!"

We have arrived.

H O AND h*

What does that say?

"h* and h*"?

5,000,000 WON DEPOSITED

Hell, yes!

You can stick to your stupid rules,

but this honeybee will suck

all the honey out of this sweet gig.

Man, this is sweet. Hell, yeah!

What the hell?

It's clogged again?

What the f*ck!

NO CALLER ID

NO CALLER ID

NO CALLER ID

NO CALLER ID

IGNORE ME AND I'LL k*ll YOU

f*ck.

Oh, dear.

So, why did you ignore my calls?

I was so close to k*lling you.

I like that gaze.

Oh, jeez.

You look better with them on.

That was funny.

Funny? This is getting boring for me.

Hurting me, breaking things,

and threatening to k*ll me

if I don't do as I'm told.

Think it would work?

I was told

you'd do anything except m*rder.

That's why they call you Hae Jo,

as in "fixer."

Hae Jo. Hae Joo?

I don't like how it sounds.

I don't take on just any job.

Then what?

Only the jobs I want to do.

Well,

I didn't come here expecting

a cliché threat like that to work anyway.

I wanted to make a strong impression,

so I went a bit overboard.

Sometimes, clichés do work.

A classic never gets old.

Whatever.

Kidnap me.

Kidnap me at my wedding.

- And the theme?

- I told you.

I like clichés and classics.

Sounds fun.

This isn't about fun.

You could get yourself k*lled.

I looked into that nutcase.

If you do take on this job,

you'll be lucky to walk away in one piece.

So what?

- Your head would be--

- Hey!

Fun, my a*s! Fun doesn't pay the bills!

Your a*s? No, blame her a*s.

Ms. Jo Jae-mi?

How's the size?

Perfect. Not too tight.

I've never seen a family ring

that's over 500 years old.

It's just right

for the head family of a clan.

Lucky you.

But it doesn't have diamonds or anything.

Anyway, it will end up going

to my future daughter-in-law.

I'm telling myself not to get attached.

Yes, good point.

Besides, this ring pales in comparison

to the amazing gift

she's bringing to the family.

Congratulations. How far along are you?

Eight weeks.

Goodness me.

PARENTHOOD GUIDE

Ms. Yoon Hyeon-su to treatment room two.

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

What's taking so long today?

Two of our doctors

are attending a seminar today.

- So please bear with us.

- How much longer?

- Just a bit…

- Please, sit here.

Thank you.

Wow! Such pretty eyes!

You have your grandma's eyes.

Mom.

Not grandma.

You're so pretty, just like your mom.

Like a princess!

Prince.

He's a boy.

Oh, incoming call.

Yes, honey. I'm at the hospital now.

Those tests I got done…

Please put your phone on silent.

Okay.

My God.

PRO LAUNDRY

When's the pick-up date?

You can't borrow that.

It belongs to a prosecutor.

Public officials are off tomorrow.

I'll return it by tomorrow morning.

That damn punk.

That lady's husband-to-be

isn't just some punk. He's a g*ng boss.

Wang Chil-seong of the Prince g*ng.

So, if I'm meeting the Prince,

I must look presentable.

Where is it this time?

A wedding hall.

So there won't be

any blood stains this time?

But he might come back covered in blood.

Hello, sir!

Damn, it's so freaking hot today.

An outdoor wedding on a day like this?

Garden weddings are trendy at the moment.

Chil-seong is big on trends.

Trends, my a*s.

By the way,

I heard the bride's drop-dead gorgeous.

How did that bumpkin bag her?

Apparently, her family live abroad,

so he won her over when she was lonely.

How did he win her over?

Come on. He's the Prince, you know.

The Prince and his big family jewels.

Quit messing around. You clowns.

- Congratulations.

- Long time no see!

- Congratulations.

- Hey, thanks.

Hello!

Hey, Chil-seong!

You were only just sent to prison.

When did you get out?

I jumped over the fence

to come to your wedding.

You could've busted your bad knees.

It's fine.

My goodness.

I'll make sure nothing on your plate

resembles prison food.

- Go sit at the VIP table.

- Okay.

The package?

Good work. Head over there first.

BRIDE NOH YANG-HUI

This is reckless.

f*ck, this is really reckless.

CHIL-SEONG LOANS

This is a bad idea.

Hold on.

What's taking this suited prick so long?

f*ck! Damn it! Who the hell was that?

Hello, we're LimeLight.

- Chil-seong.

- Yang-hui!

Congratulations on your wedding!

COMEDIAN JUNG MYUNG HOON

Dear newlyweds,

I hope you are blessed

with many baby princes…

Two-bit thug!

Time to reign in the honeymoon suite.

What a clown!

Chil-seong, Yang-hui! Congratulations.

My fluttering heart

Coochie-coochie-coo coochie-coochie-coo

Please love me

I'll follow you to the end of the world

Please don't tell me

you have a dead body in that bag.

We go in, grab the girl, and that's it.

f*ck…

Wet yourself again?

At least that I could clean up, but this…

You guys have a plan, right?

Does it look like we do?

I, Wang Chil-seong,

can't live without you, Noh Yang-hui.

For the past 40 years…

I can't believe I wasted all that time

without you in my life.

If I could turn back time,

I'd travel to the past to meet you sooner.

Don't cry!

Don't cry!

Hey, I am not crying. Hold on.

"Happy wife, happy life."

With this as my motto,

standing before my love,

my bride, Noh Yang-hui,

I swear on the name of the Prince g*ng

that I will be devoted

to building a happy family.

I'm a married man now!

You see, that's the secret

to our 100% success rate.

We never have a plan.

Let's hear it for the bride and groom!

What's going on?

What's this? Another surprise performance?

Some people don't need a plan,

because they're unstoppable.

Who do you mean?

Someone who's totally unpredictable.

Enough with the surprises, okay?

I don't want to be too tired for tonight.

Someone who just goes with the flow.

I've never seen you before. Are you new?

Quit acting.

What?

Don't get married.

What is he saying?

I love you.

I'll never give up on you.

Hey, are you talking to me?

- Boss!

- Holy sh*t!

What a performance!

Let's go.

Oh, I see. They're acting.

- A round of applause!

- I see.

- Wow, boss!

- You fooled us.

Boss! You're bleeding!

Look at this. He lost a tooth.

Hey! Go stop that punk!

Boss!

Stop him!

- Move!

- You little…

Get off!

Go!

Catch him!

He takes life day by day,

just for the fun of it.

No one can stop a guy like that. Never.

I love this!

Hey! I've never met anyone as wild as you!

Too bad we have to part ways.

How about you come with me?

Come with me!

This is so awesome!

Mom?

Dad?

Hey! Have you lost your mind? Watch out!

Mom!

Dad!

- Mom.

- Don't call her that.

She's not your mom.

Dad.

How could I be your dad?

You're not my child.

Stop following us.

We don't know you.

Then who… who am I?

Who am I?

Then who am I? Who am I?

Dad!

Mom!

Who am I?

Boss.

You're awake.

Boss.

How many fingers can you see?

How about now? How many?

m*therf*cker.

Looks like a mild concussion.

Does being reckless bring good luck?

How is she?

That lunatic managed

to roll away right before impact.

She got treated and dashed to the airport.

I told you not to take the job on.

You nearly died.

All good, then. Let's go.

Wait. We need to talk.

You see these round white things here?

What, like rice cake ba*ls?

Rice cake ba*ls?

Those little ones you get

in red bean porridge.

Four, five…

- Six--

- These are blood vessels in your brain.

They are knotted up abnormally.

That's why they look like tangled threads.

Abnormal.

If left untreated,

they'll reduce blood flow to the brain,

resulting in a lack of oxygen,

an increase in intracranial pressure,

and eventually--

They'll explode.

Like a b*mb.

That's impossible.

This makes no sense at all. I'm only 28.

Premature menopause?

It's rare,

but these days,

due to stress and hormonal issues--

No.

No, no way.

This really makes no sense.

Menopause?

This is insane.

Look.

Ms. Jo?

Right, fine.

It can happen to other people

due to hormones,

eating habits, stress,

sleep deprivation, but not to me.

This shouldn't be happening. It can't!

- Ms. Jo.

- Premature…

Ms. Jo Jae-mi!

I need an eight-week-old baby.

Right here.

Already growing in my womb.

Am I going to die?

How long do I have?

Well, this is a rare condition, so…

A year? Half a year?

You can't undergo surgery now, so--

- Three months?

- If I'm being optimistic, yes.

Vascular malformations

are hereditary in most cases.

Hereditary?

If your parents or siblings

have a similar condition…

Come to think of it,

it's f*cking hilarious.

You see, I don't have parents,

but I inherited something from them?

And it's a ticking time b*mb?

Seems a bit unfair.

I can't believe it.

You lied about being pregnant

to get married?

It was his idea.

Indeed, the eldest son and heir

to a 500-year-old family lineage!

Oh, God, I'm getting a headache.

Given your hormone levels,

it's too late for medication.

But some cases overseas--

Please be honest with me.

"One-in-a-million," "miracles,"

none of that crap.

Can I get pregnant?

- As soon as possible.

- When's the wedding?

In three days.

- How old's your baby?

- Eight months.

Eight months?

PAYING OUR UTMOST RESPEC

MYOUNG SUNG FUNERAL CENTER

KKARI

BY YOUR SIDE LIKE FAMILY

FOR A BEAUTIFUL FAREWELL

MY LOVE

God, what am I going to do now?

What do I do?

God, what do I do now?

I came here to cry

without worrying what others might think,

but you beat me to it.

Thank you.

You b*stard!

You said Chil-hyeon would be the last.

Hold on!

Can you take him for a sec?

It's okay, baby. It's okay.

What do you mean, "Kids raise themselves"?

An incompetent loser like you

doesn't deserve to be a father.

I'm going to rip your ba*ls off

if you don't get a vasectomy right away!

Screw you!

He's my seventh child.

And I just found out

that I'm pregnant with twins.

I'm going to lose my mind!

I'm jealous.

Try raising one. It'll drive you nuts.

Then give me one.

What?

If they're driving you nuts,

can I have one?

Dear God.

I thought you were serious there

for a second.

Here, I'll take him.

You have nine children,

but I can't even have one?

It's so unfair.

Give me back my baby.

Let him go, come on!

Christ, what's wrong with this woman?

Please just give me one!

I really want a baby!

You're crazy!

Why can everyone have a baby except me?

Why is my life so messed up? Why me?

I'm about to marry into a dynasty.

I must produce a son,

but I can't with premature menopause!

MYOUNG SUNG UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL

I must produce a son,

but I can't with premature menopause!

Move, move over.

- Oh, that worked.

- Yes.

One, two, three.

I want to be a mom. That's my dream.

Since I don't have a mom,

I want to be one myself.

A mom who showers her children with love.

What do you think? Sounds cool, right?

Yes. You'll be a wonderful wife.

You're so lovable.

But you can't be a good mom.

Parental love is passed down,

but we never experienced that.

People deprived of parental love, like us,

only pass resentment onto their children.

That's why we can't become parents.

You and me both.

You'll be lonely all your life

and die alone on the street.

This is boring.

Jae-mi, you're no fun anymore.

f*ck!

What the f*ck?

Where did my money go?

sh*t!

sh*t!

m*therf*ckers!

I'm sorry, boss.

It must've happened

when we were all at the wedding.

We got too carried away with the planning.

- This is all our fault, boss!

- We apologize, boss!

What the f*ck?

Tissue.

This is so embarrassing, damn it.

Find the f*ck who kidnapped Yang-hui.

Well… I'm not sure if it was a kidnapping.

It got a bit dicey

after you got knocked out.

Hey.

"Dicey"? What do you mean?

Oh, are you trying to say

that my Yang-hui is a cheating wh*re?

- Yes.

- You think I'm a moron?

That's why I got blindsided

and lost all my money, huh?

Yes, boss.

Listen to this twerp.

Then what about these idiots?

Are they useless jackasses

who just watched those two run away

and bowed to them

as they were making their grand exit?

- Yes.

- You stupid f*ck.

You little sh*t.

So, what you're saying

is everyone in the Prince g*ng

is a useless f*cking moron

who got played by a chick?

Yes or no?

Yes or no? Answer me, m*therf*cker!

CEO WANG CHIL-SEONG

You’ve got a lot of nerve,

taking off with my girl and my money.

You crossed the line, you b*stard.

I'm going to make mincemeat

out of this as*h*le.

What's your deal?

What do you mean?

You were being so elusive,

and now you're here sucking up to me.

What gives?

Don't you have any friends to drink with?

I wouldn't be here if I did.

Fine, milk me dry then.

Hey, Bong-suk.

It's Ju-ri, Bong Ju-ri!

I changed my name ages ago, you brat.

Don't hit my head, okay?

Or else what?

What are you going to do about it?

Seriously, hey.

If you keep hitting it, it'll explode.

There's a b*mb in my head.

Fourteen bombs, actually.

Just sleep, all right?

That's crazy talk

from wandering around in the rain.

Just go to sleep.

Sleep, sleep, my dear Hae Jo

Hey, Bong-suk.

You little…

Why do tragedies keep happening

to those who are already suffering?

You're more likely to get sick

when you're poor,

you have no family to care for you

when you're sick,

and you're all alone

when you have no family.

Loners push away their fellow loners.

Are those song lyrics?

You'll be lonely all your life

and die alone on the street.

Am I going to die? How long do I have?

You can never become a mom.

You'll never be a mom.

But I can't with premature menopause!

What a f*cking joke.

Madam Bum h*-ja,

who brought traditional Korean cuisine

to the world,

is the wife of the 17th-generation

eldest son of the Pungyeong Eo clan.

Using high-quality, natural ingredients,

the family's centuries-old

secret fermentation method,

and her loving, careful touch…

Hello, ma'am.

Hello.

My goodness.

I was wondering what the noise was.

Mother.

Here, let me.

Hold it like this and slice diagonally.

No, relax your wrist!

Yes, that's it. Now try.

No, do it again.

Goodness gracious.

What are you doing?

You really are hopeless.

Oh God.

She can't even use a knife.

Who let this klutz into my kitchen?

My goodness, h*-ja.

With only three days before the wedding,

I'd ask even a five-year-old for help.

She volunteered

to help prepare the wedding food

seeing as it's traditionally done

by the bride's family.

That's right. I insisted.

I'm supposed to prepare the food,

but you kindly offered to do it.

What was I supposed to do?

Ask you to make enough food

for nearly 600 guests,

knowing that you're an orphan?

The wedding is tomorrow.

Don't be like that before the big day.

Exactly! Why did she have to cut herself

right before the big day?

Here.

You're surrounded by knives,

flames, and hot oil in here.

If you're not careful,

you could get seriously hurt or even die.

You shouldn't come in here,

especially when you're pregnant!

You know?

Goodness me. What were you thinking?

All right.

You haven't been eating

and look like crap,

so I went all the way to Sillim

to get this. Try it.

They're famous. Here.

You don't like red beans?

I don't like you.

How ungrateful. It's good.

I'll eat it, then.

SO THEY CAN ALWAYS HAVE SWEET DREAMS

So they can have fun and be safe.

So they can smile every day.

Filled with fatherly love,

ensuring only the best for his child.

Bullshit. Who does he think he is,

Darth Vader?

I'M YOUR FATHER

CEO CHAE YEONG-JO

Was the Darth Vader joke that funny?

He said fathers want only the best

for their kids. Funny, huh?

So how come

I got nothing but a bunch of bombs, then?

I feel so pissed off all of a sudden.

You're scaring me.

Where are you going?

- To meet Darth Vader.

- What?

That b*stard

brought me into this shitty world.

It's only fair

that I get to see him before I go.

You were just napping. What is this?

You're fired.

Me?

The money from your side gigs

will be your severance pay.

Sell everything in the office.

That'll be this month's pay.

Bye, I'm off!

Wait, boss! I can explain!

f*ck. How did he find out?

ALL YEAR 24/7

HAE JO ERRAND HOUSE

JO JAE-MI

What does your name mean?

"Talent" and "taste."

"Taste-making talent." Pretty cool, right?

They do say

your name determines your destiny.

I hear you work in the food industry too,

just like Ms. Bum.

Korean food? Western food?

Snacks, actually.

I made snacks at a daycare

but got fired because I sucked.

Where did you find the time

to prepare these handwritten cards?

There must be hundreds of them.

My, how thoughtful of you.

I'm not providing a dowry,

so it's the least I can do.

Nonsense!

You come bearing the most precious dowry.

In the kitchen earlier,

you saw that Ms. Bum

doesn't care about anyone

but her son and her grandchild.

That's all she cares about. Her bloodline!

It's because she had a hard time

conceiving her eldest son,

so please understand.

But I can assure you

that she'll take care of that baby

in your womb with her life,

so don't worry about a thing.

Okay.

Of course, it's her bloodline.

Should I just give up

and go back to Seoul?

Darn it.

It's so gorgeous.

God, what a mess.

What should I do?

Mother!

This… this is…

Did you really think

you could fool me with your tricks?

I was going to let you go in one piece

if you came clean before the wedding,

for my son's sake.

How dare you try to deceive me?

You shameless wench!

Come out!

- I'm sorry, Mother.

- Out!

- Sorry, I don't want to leave!

- Come out. Let's go!

Come out!

What are you waiting for?

- Wrap her up.

- Yes, ma'am!

- Wrap her up!

- Please don't make them hurt me!

No!

No, Mother. Please don't do this.

How dare you ridicule

and deceive this family?

No, let me explain.

What are you waiting for?

Wrap her up and beat her at once!

Mother! No, Mother! Please forgive me!

You spiteful wench.

Please forgive me just this once.

Please! Mother!

I'll end up dead if I marry her son.

I'm going back.

MY LOVE

Here.

Nice.

You're bringing the perfect dowry.

My gosh, so stunning.

Hello, sir. You made it.

Thank you.

You said you weren't feeling well.

The eldest son of the family

is getting married.

I should be here.

Gentlemen. I'll take a picture now.

What a handsome little boy.

- Look at that.

- It's so heavy.

Don't run, you rascals.

Goodness, who tied it like this?

Hey, don't touch it.

- Thank you!

- You little brat!

What a pain in the neck.

Oh no! That's…

Catch it!

We'll go and bring the groom in now.

Okay!

There. Not bad.

My knees don't hurt.

These should protect my knees

during the bowing ceremony.

Five hundred bows? Bring it on.

I look so pretty.

You look pretty.

How did you…

I'm curious too. My God.

How did you manage to snag this family?

It's so majestic here.

Why…

Why are you here?

To pick you up. Come on.

Get lost, or I'll call for help.

Why? What you want is to run away,

not get married.

So I'm here to help.

Stop talking nonsense and get out.

Then let's say it's a kidnapping instead.

I always play the bad guy anyway.

What a handsome groom!

Slap me all you want, but outside.

Let go of me. I'm going to scream.

They'll drag you out. Let go!

- Do you not care if they find out?

- What?

That you're not actually pregnant.

How could you be pregnant

when you're in menopause?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Yes, you do.

You're scamming them.

This is a crime, Jae-mi.

Are you threatening me?

I'm asking you to cooperate.

Come with me.