A Nice Indian Boy (2024)

[bunniefuu]

["Badtameez Dil" by Ranbir

Kapoor & Deepika Padukone plays]

Get up on yo feet

Right here

Yo feet

Shake your booty

Oh

Uh

Oh

Uh

Oh

Oh

Paan main pudeena dekha

naak ka nageena dekha

Chikni chameli dekhi

Chikna kameena dekha

Chaand ne cheater hoke

cheat kiya toh

Saare taare bole

Gilli gilli akhaa

[Naveen] I was 25

when my sister got married.

My parents were thrilled...

because Arundhathi,

after scaring

the sh*t out of them

with a string

of truly atrocious

college boyfriends,

had finally agreed

to let them fix her up with,

as my mom puts it,

"A nice Indian boy."

[he sighs]

Ah, beautiful

Manish Rao...

a future orthopedic surgeon,

no less.

I think my dad actually cried

when my mom told him that,

which is funnier

if you know

that my dad's face

usually looks like this.

This was the best day

of my mother's life.

Just look at her face.

Yeh jo haal hai

Sawaal hai

Kamaal hai

Jaane na, jaane na

[Naveen] And this man

is Pandit Kumar,

and he is about

to get in my business.

Next one of these,

it'll be you out there.

[chuckling]

[Naveen] I would hear that

over and over again...

You're next, my friend.

[speaking in Hindi]

[she giggles]

[Naveen] ...an endless chorus

of reminders

that one day,

I'd have this too--

the big Indian wedding.

Just one concern.

[romantic theme plays]

What will it look like

when I bring home

a nice Indian boy?



They obviously know I'm g*y.

They've just never seen me

be g*y with another... g*y.

Naveen!

What are you doing

hiding over here?

Today was leg day.

I lift. Do you lift?

Yeah, all the time.

[he chuckles]

Come on, I wanna see you

on the dance floor, man!

Okay.

Can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

You see any girls

you like out there?

No.

That's too bad.

I'm a sick wingman.

You're next, buddy!



[phone ringing]

Hi, Naveen. Where are you?

Uh, it's 8:00 a.m.

I'm at the hospital.

Your Triple-A membership

is expired.

You want me to renew it?

Is this really important

right now?

I don't know.

Maybe you're driving around

recklessly all over town,

and you're, like, "oh...

they will come and tow me,

that Triple-A!"

Doesn't your

hammer-calling me about this

just make that more likely?

My god!

Are you driving right now?

Pull over!

No, I'm not driving.

I'm at the hospital.

Okay, I'll renew it for you.

Don't tell your father.

Okay, wow, thank you so much.

I really appreciate you.

Okay, bye.

Hey! Listen!

Did you watch that movie "Milk"?

I saw it last night on OutTV,

you know the channel

for out gays?

Yes. I know.

You like that movie?

No, Mom.

I haven't seen it.

You know, in that movie,

this man, Milk,

he moves to Castro

with his boyfriend, Smith.

Very handsome couple!

Anyway, Milk

enters politics, but--

-I don't need a recap.

-Smith doesn't like it!

So they break up.

Okay! No problem.

Milk ends up getting elected

to the San Francisco

Board of Supervisors.

Oh, does he?

And there, he meets this man,

Dan White.

Now, this Dan White

does not like the gays.

Mm-hmm?

So Dan White kills Milk!

Oh, no.

He's the Thanos.

Oh! Yeah, no, I'm gonna

have to check that out.

I guess this is why

Sean Penn got divorced.

Uh...

I think

he was just acting.

Hi, Mrs. G!

And how in these movies

do g*y people know

who the other g*y people are?

Like, they just give

each other a look,

and like, boom!

They're kissing.

[hushed] What's she talking

about, a movie?

Mom, it's just a movie.

What movie?

Is that what you do?

I don't want you

to get into trouble!

Ask if she watched "Bros."

Uh, oh?

What is that, nurse?

-There's no nurse.

-They're coding?

That's a lot of... blood.

There's a mother?

In the ICU?

Uh, yes, I'll be right there.

I must help every mother.

Maybe I should go to the ICU

so I can finally see you.

All right, bye, love you.

Wait! Wait!

I'm having a heart atta--!





[man rings temple bell]

[sighing]

Whatever.

[tapping]

Hey, Ben.

How is it going, question mark.

Haven't heard from you

in a while,

exclamation mark.

Guess you've been eating

an apple a day,

because you've kept

this doctor away.

Hi, Jeremy.

Um, I was talking

to my mom today,

and I remembered

you have a mom,

so how...

how are you, man...

question mark.

Delete.

Thanks, Charlotte.

I actually don't need

a plus-one to the wedding,

because I'm happy with myself,

and I'm really not lonely.

Hey, Edmund.

Um, I saw that you're engaged,

but in case

it doesn't work out,

um, wanna go out, question mark.

Delete. Delete.

[phone] Sent.

Hey, Rahul.

Um... was drinking water today

and thought of you

Ha...

because you said

you need to drink more water.

ha... ha...ha...

[sighs] Oh, god, this sucks.

I sound like Jeffrey Dahmer.

-[snoring loudly]

-[TV]...diamonds.

We only have about 25

of that ring.

It's already starting to sell.

Okay, and is the cough

dry or productive?

Gloria! My favourite patient.

How's the ulcer?

On a scale of one to ten,

how much phlegm?

Oh, we do have your X-rays...

No. I know it's 11,

but the scale is from one to--

It's not looking good.

Okay, and then how many drinks,

uh, per day,

would you say you're having?

I-I don't want to get

too graphic, but, one time--

Yes, beer counts as alcohol.

I was hooking up with a guy...

That's not good.

...bent his d*ck backwards...

You. Get your picture taken.

They need you

with Sepsis Guy in 10.

-Huh?

-It's portrait day!

Ooh!

I heard from Sam in Radiology

that the photographer is hot!

Oh, fun!

Oh, don't worry, they'll

fix your hair in PhotoShop.

What's wrong with my hair?

Yes, let's focus on

your personal grooming,

not all the sick people

who need your care.

What's wrong with it?

On this side,

I feel like maybe you could--

[flash bulb pops]

[Naveen sighs]

Ahem.

[flash pops]

Really nice. Thank you.

Have a good one.



Okay, so you can just have

a seat right there

on that little stool.

Ganesh, right?

Hmm?

Uh, no, it's Gavaskar.

[chuckles] No, sorry.

I saw you

at the temple last night,

in front of the Ganesh altar.

Oh! Oh, yeah.

That was, uh...

th-that-- yeah.

You know Ganesh?

[he laughs]

I'm Jay. I promise

I'm not following you.

I'm just in this neighbourhood

this week.

Oh. Okay.

You ready?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. So look over here.

Yep. There you go.

And, uh, keep your head

just like that.

Nice.

And bring your eyes... here.

Okay, now smile.

Be yourself.

Oh.

[Jay] Not so contained.

Oh... okay.

[Jay]

You don't have to bunch up.

There we go.

That's really nice.

You ready?



[flash pops]

Are you two

going to be a while?

It was great to see you again.

-Actually--

-Jesus H. Christ.

Sorry.

Listen. I've got an extra ticket

to a film screening on Sunday,

it's my dad's favourite movie,

if you want to join me?

Uh, I'll-I'll check my--

I'll check my calendar,

but yes, yes, I think my--

I think I'll be--

which is, uh, which movie?

[cowbell ringing gently]

[wind rushes]

Tujhe dekha

to ye janaa sanam



[sighing]

Do you, um...

watch a lot of foreign films?

No. Yes. I'm sorry.

I'm adopted.

Oh!

I was raised

by Indian parents.

I grew up on that movie.

It always reminds me of them.

They, uh, they passed away.

Oh, gosh. I-I'm so sorry.

They were older

when they adopted me, so...

It is weird, isn't it?

What?

I took you to that movie.

We met at a temple.

My last name is Kurundkar.

It's not we--

It was very weird.

I don't know,

people get adopted.

My parents are white.

Sure, but that's not--

So now I love boat shoes

and Diane Keaton.

Okay, we're getting

a little sidetracked.

That movie was darker

than I remembered.

Dark?

Her dad was obviously

a psychopath.

Eh, he was passionate.

And if SRK hadn't shown up,

she would've just married

the other psychopath.

But he did show up!

That's what makes it romantic.

He showed up,

even though their love

seemed completely impossible.

So corny, right?

I mean, who talks like that?

It's like he's in the movie.

Mm-hmm.

I think you're missing

the heart of this movie.

I am?

Yeah, that scene

before the end of intermission,

when Kajol is resigned

to her fate,

that she's gonna be

forever separated

from the man she loves,

she is at her lowest moment,

and she hears the cowbell--

[cowbell chiming]

and then there he is...

and then he stands there

in the middle of

all these yellow flowers,

and he sings.

Tujhe dekha

Oh.

Yeah.

-Oh...

-Yeah!

f*ck.

Mm.

To ye janaa sanam

Read the room.

Or be in a room!

Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam

And then it's

La-la la-la la

-Ahem.

-La-la la-la la

La-la la-la la

La la la!

Wow.

Aah!

Thank you.

That was a little over the top.

Sorry. That happens.

No, it's okay.

I think a lot of people

find Bollywood a bit much.

Yeah?

But I think it's because

we're all a little embarrassed.

Embarrassed...?

By the bigness of love.

I don't want to hear, like,

sweeping notions of love.

Oh, yeah,

that sounds horrible.

It's 2024.

The world is burning.

So you went home?

[music blaring]



[coughing]

Oh, wow.

[exhales] Uhh.

Um, yeah,

what's really interesting

is that we have a Panera Bread

inside the hospital.

Oh, my god.

Not the hospital stories.

Are you kidding?

-They are interesting.

-They are not, they're very--

-They are interesting.

It's really interesting,

because, like,

the parking structure

is divided by numbers,

so it's, like,

one through seven,

but then there's, like,

letters, too,

so it's like you can park

in 1-A, 1-B, 1-C...

Do you know how many

medical shows are on TV?

Do you think

no one's watching those?

On a date?

No one's trying to f*ck

after E.R.

What's really crazy

is that Grey's Anatomy

is still good.

I would say season 16 onwards,

it's better

than most things on TV.

So you were enjoying yourself?

Also, he vapes.

[coughing]

-Do you want some of this?

-Oh, no.

Uh, uh, no. I mean, uh,

I-I'm totally cool with it.

My parents aren't, but I am.

I just do it

when I'm nervous.

You're nervous?

A little bit, yeah.

Ohh!

Anxious people

are the best in bed,

because you know why?

-Why?

-They try harder.

Anyways, um...

then he told me

all these stories

about his childhood.

Um, like how he went through

12 different foster homes,

just kept moving and moving.

He didn't even

have a suitcase.

He just carried all of

his stuff in plastic bags...

...until one day,

he became a Kurundkar.

Theirs was the first home

where I felt like belonged,

they were my family.

Hmm. Of course.

I guess I'd never really,

like, felt love

before my parents,

and it's like

they instilled in me this...

feeling...

it's like a feeling of home.

It's not even like a literal

house or a location.

It can kind of go anywhere.

[he sighs]

I would have liked to have them

see me grow up...

...be with someone.

You know, that's what

I love about DDLJ.

it doesn't end with the couple

getting together in the end,

like in an American movie...

because it's not about

two people going at it alone,

clinging to each other

like life rafts.

It's about everybody,

together.

The family,

the wedding...

Do you ever think about that?

Uh, about what, sorry?

Like, your dream wedding.

Um...

Like,

when you close your eyes,

and you imagine a wedding,

what do you see?

I don't really do that.

Why not?

Uh... this is, a pretty...

intense conversation

for a first date.

Right.

No. You're right.

I've had too much tequila.

I'm sorry. [chuckling]

Uh... uh, what do you--

what do you see?

The entire thing.

[laughing]

I see a...

I see a big, solemn ceremony,

where everybody's crying,

and an even bigger party.

I see...

choreographed dances

with the entire family.

Everybody that we love is there,

and my husband and I

look at each other,

and we think...

...we want for nothing.

I have made it weird again,

haven't I?

-No!

-First time, singing at you,

and now I'm telling you

about...

-No, you're fine.

-...my wedding dreams.

I've made it weird.

No. No, no, no.

You're-- you're good.

You're, uh... you are--

you're great.

I should go.

I should, uh... go,

uh, because I have a, um, uh...

-Yeah.

...an early call tomorrow.

Okay.

Yeah, I just--

I have patients, uh...

to save, notes to write.

I need to sleep.

Okay. Right.

Um, sorry. That was abrupt.

That's okay.

No, no, no. I get it.

I just...

um, lives are at stake.

Uh...

Yeah, could we just

get the check?

I had to get here early.

You know how early

I have to get here.

[closing door]





So what did you think?

You can be brutal.

It was great.

That's it?

I don't know anything

about art.

[laughing] Everybody has

an equal right to art.

Okay. Um...

Tell me what you thought.

That one is my favourite.

Oh, God.

What?

I was really scared

to show that one.

It must have been awful,

losing them.

You're still

not so sure about me.

W-what makes you say that?

The reason

I love that photo so much--

it tells me who you are.

I mean, I could never

put myself out there like this.

Is that a tattoo?

Yeah. That's my Ganesh.

You have a scar.

It's kind of a long story.

["Ishq" by Ali Sethi plays]



[clock chimes]

I signed a new client

this week.

Mm.

My fourth this month.

[Manish] k*lling it, babe.

Are you sure you should be

taking on more work?

Why wouldn't I?

I don't know, maybe

you want to take a vacation.

Vacation?

10 weeks, 12 weeks--

it will help you relax.

More, if you find you like it.

Still not pregnant, Mom.

I don't like your tone,

Arundhathi.

How come no one asks Naveen

invasive personal questions?

Wha--

We do!

[Arundhathi] Great!

What's new, Naveen?

Got a boyfriend?

[Dad]

Leave your brother alone.

You are making him

uncomfortable.

[Arundhathi]

Sorry. But it's fine

when Mom plays Inspector Gadget

in my uterus?

[Mom] You know what?

Just leave it.



[doorbell buzzing]

How was your visit home?

Good.

Your family seemed well?

Yeah. Good.

Yeah. Um, so, uh,

what are your friends like?

Uh, anything I should know?

Focaccia!

Oh, no, thank you.

Come on,

it's got herbs and spices in it.

Oh. Uh...

Actually,

if you can hold this,

that would be so great.

Thank you so much.

Oh.

Hi.

Hi!

I'm Billie.

Uh, I remember.

We-- we just met.

-Yeah. That's my roommate, Neel.

-Hey, babes!

He was supposed to help me

set up for the party,

but I did it all myself,

because... the patriarchy!

I'm so sorry.

No. It's fine.

Yep.

Jay tells me you're a healer.

Uh... oh, you--

uh, I'm a doctor.

And how-- and you are?

A projectionist.

Okay.

I work at AMC.

I've heard of it.

You're not dancing.

Oh...

Um, I-I'm not a dancer.

We're all dancers.

We are?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think you're perfect.

Uh, thank you.

Just don't break him.

He's more fragile

than he seems.

Right.

Okay, I'm not loving

the looks of this.

Shall we go dance?

Uh...

Did y--

uh, did you want some...

some carbs?

Oh, my god, I love bread.

Oh, that's so good.



The weed was in the focaccia?

Neel bakes

his own pot focaccia.

He should have told you.

I had four of them.

I'm starting to feel it too.

Ohh...

Whaa... I... wh...

[Jay] What?

I... I...

Yeah, uh...



[flash bulb pops]

-[Naveen] I...

-[Jay] Yeah?

[Naveen] Feel...

[Jay] I know.

[Naveen] Good.

[crowd applauding]

-[music plays]

-[audience applauds]

The places where

we used to meet

We go together

Step by step

Like shoes on the feet

We go together

Just like the sand

out in the sea

What good is sugar

Without no tea

What good are you

if you don't have me

We go together

Take it away.

Mom? Dad? [chuckling]

Actually, you guys,

so funny you ask,

because I am seeing someone.

You know how things always

get super weird

whenever

anything g*y comes up?

Well, I just thought

I'd put everyone at ease

by mentioning my white,

Hindu, orphan, artist boyfriend.

Like ice cream

and an apple pie

Mom? Dad?

Do you want another son...

who's white?

You know, someone with

an unflinching gaze

who sees all of me?

Mom!

Do you remember

those condoms you bought me?

I'm gonna use them now,

because I'm seeing someone.

Just like a fork

who needs a spoon

Just like a song

that needs a tune

We go together

Mom, you know

how you were saying

that there was a lot of hair

in my bathroom?

It's because there's another man

living with me now.

We go together

Oh...

You guys,

you know how much you love

getting your photo taken?

Well, I'm dating

a white photographer now.

"Cheese."

Get out your Beyonce.

I need the wind machine.

Well, the places where

we used to meet

Don't let them talk over you.

When are you

going to appreciate Manish?

Such a good guy!

-I do appreciate Manish.

-He is not--

The power of love

inside you...

let it out.

[Mom] All your eggs

are going to get dried up.

[Arundhathi] So be it.

You've got this.

You've got this.

We go together

You got this.

We go together

like a storm and rain

Just like a fire

that needs a flame

Just like a picture

needs a frame

We go together

We go together

like the moon and June

Just like the fork

needs the spoon

[Naveen] Mom, Dad...

do you ever feel

like Kajol in a field

of yellow flowers

hearing a cowbell

and just knowing...



Naveen!

Uh, Manish!

Um...

Sorry, we're running late

for-- for, uh, for, um...

this thing.

Uh, where's Arundhathi?

Um... I don't know.

I-I'm sorry.

Oh! Um...

This is, uh... uh...

[Jay] Jay.

Jay. Wow.

Hey, that's...

Good for you, Naveen.

Just, um, be well, okay?

It was nice to meet you, Jay.

Bye.

[buzzing]

[phone ringing]

[ringing]

It's not about you. I-I just--

I just like to keep my family

out of my personal life.

[Jay sighs]

I know it's-- it's crazy,

but I've never introduced

them to a boyfriend before,

and, honestly, if you met them,

you'd understand.

"If"?

[Paul] Um, so, after dinner,

he walks me to my door,

and it's, like, moonlight,

it's all really romantic,

and then he, like, presses me

up against the door,

and he leans in,

and I'm like,

"Okay, first kiss--"

so I'm like puckering up...

then he robbed me.

And then he pulled out his g*n

and showed it to me,

and it was like, "Whoa!"

-Whoa.

-"I gotta get out of here."

-Yeah.

-Anyways...

enough about me, sorry.

So, what about you two?

Uh, sorry.

What about us?

How did you two meet?

I love a love story.

Uh, he took my picture

in the hospital.

So... um...

do you doctors

get annoyed when,

you know, people ask you

for free medical advice?

Yes.

You don't have

to change the subject.

I took his picture,

then we started

dating seriously...

[deep breath]

...and then...

he didn't

tell his family about me,

so it's kind of like

I don't exist.

Jay, is this...

[Neel] Are they fighting?

We're-- we're not, uh--

We're not fighting.

Because you never say

what you feel.

Jay.

But I do,

and I get

that families are tough.

I mean, I get that, but...

I kind of thought

that this was...

Sorry. I don't know.

I know--

[Jay] I made you

a part of my family.

I always hoped that, one day,

you'd make me a part of yours.

I want that.

You know that.

Well, you've never said it.

-Said what?

-Said what you want!

-Really, we could give y--

-No, it's fine.

I...

the big wedding...

I want that too.

The baraat,

the fire,

the... pandit,

the seven circles,

a party with

all of the people we love.

"We want for nothing."

I want that.

I do.

Of course I do.

I want the same thing.

The same thing... with you.



Does that mean--

What?

[Jay] I mean...

it feels like you're saying

that you want to--

[chuckles] Yes.

Yes.

A betrothal.

Okay, no more arguments,

or Naveen's

gonna end up pregnant.

[chuckling]



[Billie] Love wins!

[others laughing]



[exhaling]

[call ringing]

[sighing]

[Archit] Hi, Beta!

Hey!

Hey, uh, ahem, hey, uh,

is-is Mom there?

She's taking a nap.

Oh. Cool. Um...

I-- I was wondering if I could

bring someone along tomorrow.

What?

Hello? Hello!

Hi. Hi.

I can't hear you, Beta!

-I was-- I was j--

-Hello?

I'm saying

that I'm gonna brin--

The connection dropped!

Okay, yeah, no, I'm saying

I'm gonna bring

someone along tomorrow.

Who is it?

It's a guy... I'm seeing.

Uh...

Is he a doctor too?

No. Uh, no.

Uh, actually,

we met at the... temple.

Ah! Ha! That's nice.

Yeah. Uh, I should say--

Okay, then! Speak soon.

No, um, I-I was just gonna...

um, okay.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

We'll just see you tomorrow.

Okay. I'll-I'll-I'll--

Okay, bye!

I'll t-talk to you then.

Okay. Bye.

[bed creaks]

That was not the plan.

[door closing]

You nervous?

Hmm?

Are you nervous?

No. You?

No.

[seatbelts clicking]



Hey! Relax.

I am relaxed.

Do you think

I should touch their feet?

I've never been

to their house before.

I think

it would be weird.

Should we watch some OutTV

while we wait?

Watching OutTV is not

going to help us, Jaan.

It's just that I don't know

what the protocol is

in this situation.

My parents are super liberal

for Indians.

Just, um, don't bring up

drinking,

or meat, or sex, or drugs.

And obviously, no displays

of physical affection

or open declarations

of love.

What do you want me to say?

Just be nice!

Can you be nice?

Why you getting angry?

I'm not getting angry!

Do I look angry?

-Yes.

A-and just be yourself,

but, you know, like...

a little bit more formal.

Like you're interviewing

for, like, the presidency.

Um...

At least this boy is Indian.

[doorbell chimes]

Uh, Mom, uh, Dad,

this is--

Jay Kurundkar.

It's really nice

to meet you.

[mutters] Oh, God.

Oh! No, no! It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

Bless you.

[Jay sighs]

Did he just touch your feet?

[show theme plays]

A b*tch need

some warmth at night,

and it's nothin'

but a nice, sexy d*ck, Daddy,

to keep a b*tch warm.

Um, I'm sorry,

the things I said earlier--

We played this g*y TV for you.

[hushed] My parents really like

watching g*y channels

so that they can try

to understand me better.

Sometimes you don't have

to be a fairytale prince.

Sometimes you can just be

that 5'5"

Italian guy from New Jersey.

It's crazy, but that twink

came into the hospital.

I was so starstruck.

Wow.

Yeah.

He-- he didn't make it.

[musical flourish plays]

Why are you having

a heart attack?

You would've had

a heart attack if I did this.

No. No such thing.

We are the most

open-minded parents.

[scoffing] That is insane.

You would've never

let me do this.

[Megha] You know,

your attitude...

Your brother is happy.

-Such a double standard.

Naveen! Naveen?

Uh, yeah, coming.

I'll be right back.

Uh, yeah, coming,

coming, coming.

Uh, yes?

Do you know if your friend

will take sugar in the chai?

-Uh, yeah, I think so.

-Okay.

Make sure to ask

if he wants

white sugar or brown sugar.

He seems a little confused.

Oh, that's very clever.

Oh, my god, I'm just saying,

that's a surprise.

What, that he's white?

Didn't Manish tell you?

How would Manish know?

We ran into him.

Wait, he didn't say?

No.

Then why were you calling me?

Doesn't matter.

[clock ticking]

[clock strikes]

I...

love the photo.

Thank you.

Yeah. All the Indians do it.

[Jay] It's so great--

creating a family of your own.

Well, isn't that just

why we're all alive?

So, Jay, where are you from?

Long story--

kind of all over.

It took me a while to figure out

where I belonged.

It turns out, it was here.

[Naveen chuckles]

My parents' house?

-Tsk!

-No.

Well, I meant the city,

but this-this, uh, this house

is great too.

So, sorry,

where's your family?

-Arundhathi...

-What? I'm taking an interest.

It's okay.

[deep breath]

My parents both passed away

a few years ago.

I'm-- I'm so sorry.

That's awful.

No! I mean, it was awful

that they died, but...

they were older

when they adopted me,

so it was not a, you know...

That makes so much sense...

and is one

of the many things

that would have been

nice to know about you

before I made

an a*s of myself.

-Sorry?

-Nothing.

Naveen didn't tell us

that you were white.

[Megha] Archit!

-Really?

-Dad, do you...

um, do you really

think that-that's important?

We think it's wonderful

that you're white.

Oh, my god.

-Seriously?

-What?

No, I'm just glad our mother

is being so wonderful

and liberal,

and an open-minded soul,

welcoming my brother's

new lover.

No, we can just say

"boyfriend."

We don't have to say...

It's j-- it's j...

It's "boyfriend."

Welcome into our home.

Wow! Oh, my god.

Let's just start planning

the wedding now.

I was kidding.

What, are you engaged

or something?

No! Uh...

Well, uh, well, uh, I mean,

we've just, uh,

we've just talked about it,

that's...

-Oh... my.

-Wow!

Can you point me

to the bathroom?

[Archit]

Yep. Uh, please go straight.

To your right.

[exhaling deeply]

[Archit slurping loudly]

[Archit burps]

[speaking in Hindi]

For-- for real?

No. I obviously

wouldn't get engaged

before a family meeting.

Oh, my god, oh, my god,

oh, my god, oh, my god.

We're just trying to catch up.

This is psychotic!

I-If I were to get engaged

to some tatted-up white dude

before you even met him,

you would have thrown me

out of the house!

-Keep your voice down!

-This is so damn unfair!

Where were you guys

eight years ago?

What do you mean?

Yeah, what does that mean?

Nothing. Excuse me.

Where are you going?

-[speaking in Hindi]

Hey!

-Oh.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, Naveen,

what was that on his arm?

Sorry.

It's a tattoo of, uh, Ganesh.

Our Ganesh Bhagvan?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-He did that for you?

-What?

-He did it for us?

-Why would you think--

-[footsteps]

Oh, Jay! Come, come. Come.

Have a seat.

Have a seat.

So, Jay... what do you do?

I'm a freelance photographer.

No! For a living.

[Megha speaking in Hindi]

[Archit speaking in Hindi]

Guys...

Dad?

[continuing in Hindi]

Jay speaks Hindi!

[quietly] Uh...

so something really,

really fun about Jay

is that he can speak Hindi.

I understand

better than I speak.

Jay, would you like

to stay for dinner?

[breathing deeply]



Weed!

[slowly] q*eer...

art...

-Uh...

-...is really my, um, passion.

Normal art

is q*eer art.

Yeah, it's all...

I mean, I guess

everything is kind of q*eer.

Yeah, it's commercial--

commercial, financial.

Yeah. And, uh...

Robert Mapplethorpe,

I don't know

if you've heard of him?

He's, um...

Yeah, there's this great book,

it's called--

[Megha]

Come, come, Chumki, come!

Jay is staying for dinner.

Good.

I'm... sure he's hungry.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Ooh, Mom...

you might not want to go in

the bathroom for a little while.

Why? What? Jay,

are you not feeling well?

I think we are

out of Imodium.

I'm so sorry.

It shouldn't leave an odor.

-Mm.

-Well, that's not my experience.

Is this a new thing

of yours too?

Do you partake?

Arundhathi!

What are you two

talking about?

I'm so sorry.

-Pot, Mom!

-What?

Yeah, he was smoking pot.

I found the cartridge

in the trash.

-My towels!

-Ganja?

I'm sorry, I was trying to say

that it's a vape,

so it shouldn't leave a smell.

I can show you--

-Not now!

Um, uh, Jay, uh...

doesn't usually do this.

Well... that's not true.

Could you not,

for a second?

I'm sorry,

I just feel like your policy

of lying to them

about everything

isn't really working out.

[Arundhathi]

Mm, he does has a point.

Would you shut the f*ck up?

-Naveen!

-I should go.

No, not now.

You leaving so soon?

Uncle, Auntie,

thank you

for your hospitality.

Jay. Jay! Hang on.



[door opens]

[Naveen] Jay, wait!

Jay, where are you going?

Naveen, you should be

with your family.

Jay!

[car door opens]

[car door closes]

[car engine starts]

[car drives away]

[door bangs]

I can't believe

you just did that.

Me? You're blaming me?

After that ridiculous show

you just put on?

Oh, okay.

That's ridiculous.

Fine, you must as well

just call me a f*g.

It'll be faster.

Screw you.

Hey, your sister

is not bigot.

Oh, oh! That's rich.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, Dad,

that you won't say

what actually bothers you

about this whole situation,

because me being g*y

makes you uncomfortable.

I love him.

He makes me happy.

Isn't that all that matters?

Since when does that matter

to anyone in this house?

[Archit] Excuse me?

Seriously, what is going on

with you today?

[plates clattering]

Is it hormones?

Archit!

Get her a support pillow!

[Archit] We don't have

a support pillow.

I can't believe

you picked today to drop this.

What is that supposed to mean?

That you hate

when it's not all about you,

and your perfect house

and your perfect husband--

My life is not perfect!

Oh, did you ever think

that maybe I just want a family,

just like you?

For f*ck's sake,

I'm not pregnant!

I'm leaving Manish!

What?

I'm getting divorced.

[she sighs]

Arundhathi, I...

You know...

you could've

answered my call.



[door opening]

[Naveen] What are you doing?

I can't find my saffron.

You're packing?

That seems a bit dramatic,

don't you think?

[Jay] I'm not being dramatic.

Oh, right, because

you're typically very grounded.

[sighs wearily]

This was always a bad idea.

What does that mean?

I should have known

from the start.

I saw you...

the way that you squirmed

when I started singing.

I should've known then.

Known what?

That you're ashamed of me.

Ashamed of yourself, actually.

I'm not ashamed of myself.

Naveen...

you move

through public spaces

like your existence

is an inconvenience,

and you're very sorry

to have caused anyone

to notice you at all.

There it is.

Oh, yeah, wouldn't want

to leave that behind.

[Jay] You know how much

saffron costs?

No, Jay. I don't.

[Jay sighs]

You know how I got

that scar from my foster dad?

He found me playing

with my mom's shoes.

[sighing wearily]

I've been rejected

by enough families

to know

when it's time to move on.

Jay...

if you think I'm going to make

some big speech to stop you,

then you're wrong.

I know.

I'm the dramatic one.





[Paul exhales]

All right,

while you were wifed up,

I was out there,

playing the game,

and let me tell you, sweetie,

the game has changed.

Little soon for that.

We're still off carbs,

but dairy's cool again.

"No" to apps,

but "yes" to sex parties.

-Yeah. I--

-No running!

Gays don't run,

but we're allowed to skip.

You know what's out?

Big dicks.

Big dicks were totally '90s.

Paul, we're at the hospital.

We're into tiny little

modest dicks now.

-[text alert chimes]

-Um, back on cord phones.

You know?

We're back on this thing.

We're twirling the cord,

twirling the cord, twirling th--

What?

Just Jay letting me know

he left his keys under the mat.

Okay, we're definitely

going out tonight.

Paul, I'm not going out.

Yes, we are!

-Paul, I'm not going out.

-I went online

to that website

that's now on the Dark Web--

Man, I love going out!

Yeah, me too, buddy.

I love going out.

Oh, yeah. Good, good.

We're in

Sex and the City, b*tch!

Hey.

I used the key you gave Mom.

How many secret boyfriends

do you have?

-No.

-No. Absolutely not.

-No, I know too much.

-Woof. No. [laughs]

-[horn honks]

-All right, my Uber's waiting,

so you're up, sis.

See you later.

[Naveen] Don't leave me.

[Paul] No, it's okay.

[Naveen] She's so mean.

[Paul] Figure it out. Bye.

Bye!

Are you drunk?

No. Are you a ghost?

I've been waiting all night.

I thought you were staying

at Mom and Dad's.

Yeah, well...

some things were said,

some feelings were hurt.

Felt like

we could use some space, so...

Where's Jay?

Well, I guess

if your relationship

was that fragile,

maybe I did you a favour.

God, I can't imagine

why you're getting a divorce.

Sorry. Too soon?

I'm...

sorry.

[door closing]

[birds singing]

Everything hurts.

How much did

you drink last night?

Four... appletinis.

Why are you getting a divorce?

Geez, Naveen.

Literally everyone

wants to know.

[she sighs]

A month ago, um...

Manish and I were

watching Project Runway,

and Heidi Klum was wearing

this black sheath dress.

Manish was being honoured

at some gala,

and I asked him

if I should wear

the same dress.

And he said...

"I don't care what you wear,

just as long as you show up."

How... dare he?

Naveen,

he doesn't--

he doesn't look at me.

And I can't even

get mad about it,

because I don't

look at him either.

Manish and I

didn't find each other.

Our mothers introduced us,

which is,

scientifically,

the least horny way

two people can meet.

You guys went on a blind date.

You're acting as if

they sold you off,

like some kind of child bride.

The expectations

were clear.

Well... so what?

Mom and Dad met, like,

at their wedding,

and they're basically great.

[Arundhathi] You think?

What? They are.

Do you know

what Mom said to me?

"There's more to a relationship

than passion.

You just have to adjust."

Like... I-I'm sorry,

I'm not gonna keep living

in a loveless marriage

just because that's

what she decided to do.

[she sighs]

I'm sorry

I torpedoed your relationship.

You did...

yeah, mm, you torpedoed it

pretty good.

I have nothing against

a boy who took you to DDLJ

on your first date.

Mm.

Have you... not told him

how you used to watch it

over and over again

until the VHS stopped working?

No.

Why not?

Because it's an absurd movie.

You cried

every time you watched it.

Yeah, so did you.

Then I got arranged

to a stranger.

But you kind of have

what SRK and Kajol have.

That thing...

that DDLJ thing

where you look at him

and you hear music.

What are you talking about?

I saw him touch your hair.

It was the sweetest thing.

He touched my hair,

so we should get married?

Oh, I never said that!

I never said anything to you

about music.

Are you telling me

I'm wrong?

What do I know?

I've never heard music myself.

But if I had

what you had...

What?

Something real.

[birdsong]



[flags rustling]



[Naveen] So then

he just found his saffron

and... and left.

So, any thoughts...

[sighing]

I know I'm probably not

supposed to say this,

but...

[whispering]

...you're my favourite one.

I just think you're great.

I'm a really big fan.

So, really, any kind of advice

or...

...any sign would work.

[man rings bell]



[bell ringing]



I really don't feel

like watching a movie right now.

Well, art heals.

Especially Fellini.



What's going on?

This is DDLJ.

I can't watch this right now.

Hey, Jay, can you

just not talk?

Why are you showing this to me?

I'm not.

This is just what came up.

Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam

Tujhe dekha

to ye janaa sanam



What?

[theme swells]

[laughing]

Tujhe dekha

to ye janaa sanam

Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam

Jay Kurundkar...

I have historically hated

making dramatic displays.

I find them mortifying.

Isn't this mortifying?

[Jay laughing]

But this is something

I need to say

as loudly as possible.

You are beautiful,

you are wise,

and you are brave...

...and I'm lost without you.

[theme music swells]



[film stops]



[floorboards creaking]

Go!

Go.



[sighing]

What are you doing?

That depends...

is it working?

[sighing]

It might be.

In that case...

I'm asking you again,

in a very dramatic way...

for a second time...

...if you'd marry me.

What about your family?

I love you.

I won't do this

without them.

I know.

I love you too.





[clock ticking]

Archit, say something.

What?

[Megha] Tell them

you're happy for them.

[Archit]

I am happy for them.

We're so happy for you.

Thanks, Mom.

Dad, I was, uh, wondering

if, uh you would

ask Pandit Kumar to officiate.

"Officiate"?

The... wedding?

Uh, you want Pandit Kumar

to do your wedding?

As opposed to...?

We thought you would want

a more g*y wedding.

A g*y wedding?

Yeah, you know, like where

you wear matching suits,

and we are in a fancy barn,

and one of your friends

becomes an Internet priest...

No, no.

We want an Indian wedding.

Still g*y, though.

So, which one of you

is the bride?

-Oh, Dad--

-Yeah.

That-that's not how it works.

Do we have to give you away?

Or does someone else

give him away?

That tradition is messed up.

I mean, technically,

we gave Arundhathi away

to Manish's parents?

We tried.

[Megha] Archit!

Forget about

the giving-away thing.

But what about the dance?

At Arundhathi's wedding,

the groom and his family

welcomed her with a dance.

But with two grooms...

Well, that's easy.

My parents aren't here,

so I'd be more than happy

to watch you all dance for me.

Uh, isn't that a little...

What, g*y?

Loud.

Loud? It's an Indian wedding!

You don't have to shout.

It's fine.



[Megha] So? Are you gonna

say something?

[Archit] What is there to say?

[she sighs]

Sometimes,

after all these years,

I just don't know you.

[Archit] You know me.

And you're thinking

the same as me.

Deep down.

I'm not! I'm not.

[footsteps receding]

Are you

paying attention, Archit?

[Archit] Yes.

First thing-- invitations.

Naveen, show Jay the one

we made for Arundhathi.

Oh... okay. Um...

Wow!

This album makes me

so emotional.

It was $2,300

for the outfit alone.

Such a waste.

Anyway,

do you like the invite?

Um, actually, we were planning

on sending an email.

An email?

We just thought

we'd save some trees.

No trees need to be saved!

We have to send a proper

printed invitation

that come

from your father and me,

like we did for Arundhathi.

[Archit]

Because it worked out so well.

I'm right here.

[Magna] And you should be

with Manish, adjusting.

Stop telling me to adjust.

You can't adjust your way

into loving someone.

Oh! You want true love?

You want a fairytale,

you want flowers,

you want music.

In real life,

you have to adjust!

Look how much I'm adjusting!

I love paper invites.

[Megha] Thank you.

And you should

respect the traditions

you're about

to enter into.

Mom, a day ago,

you told me to get married

by an Internet priest.

Oh, why you have to be

so technical?



Madam,

thank you for entrusting me

with this h*m* wedding.

This is the wedding planner?

Uh, I thought we said

no more barns.

Oh! Okay. No, no.

We're open to it.

We're open to it.

Of course, Master Ji.

We are so lucky

to have you planning it.

You're always so booked

and busy.

It is all good!

Love is love.

And money is money.

[phone rings]

[speaking in Hindi]

Are we sure about this guy?

He's perfect.

Look at him yell.

[beep]

So, which one is the bride?

The dance floor will be here.

You ready to shake it?

[Naveen] I don't really dance.

What is wrong with you?

Master Ji, this is perfect.

The space is perfect.

Good.

Let us talk dates.

We all know this is the best

venue for Indian weddings.

Lowest divorce rate,

highest spirituality

for the lowest price.

They have September 11 open.

Wonderful!

Oh, Mom, wait--

Wait? What is wrong

with September 11th?

Because of something hap--

-Oh, the terror attack?

-Yes.

Oh, September 11,

is it a discount?

-Discount?

-Yeah.

There's no discount.

We don't want that day

even if there's a discount.

We also have September 12...

-Oh, perfect!

-In six years.

No, that's--

that's way too long.

Might be good to hold off,

make sure this man

is really the one.

[Jay] What?

What?!

[Megha] Do you know

what happens in a barn?

Animals live in a barn!

You-- my son is getting married!

Why don't you understand?

You don't

have a proper ballroom

where I can

invite all my friends

and be happy with them?

You want a ballroom?

People are gonna suffocate!

-All these flowers--

-Nobody feel bad

about being in a h*m* wedding,

feeling h*m*.

-Get over--

-Because of the air.

Oh, my god! You stop

saying "h*m*" right now!

Clean, fresh air.

[Megha] You think I'm scared

of throwing a big wedding?

You think the Gavaskars

cannot have a big wedding?

-You want big wedding?

-Yes.

We can get the Thunderbirds

to fly over

and spray q*eer colours.

Can put the soundtrack...

She loves you so much.

I know.

[Ji]...to look

at the surroundings anyway.

[Megha] Do you realize

that my only g*y son

is getting married?

[Ji] The kundlis say

that this is the best venue--

[Megha] You told Marie

about my son's community.

Why didn't you come in?

[chuckling]

I would have been in the way.

Are you all done?

Hmm, is your mother

riding with Jay?

Dad, you know,

for a second there,

I couldn't remember

why I even wanted

any of this anymore,

but there's a difference

between not wanting something

and being afraid

to want it.

Naveen?

Dad, what is the worst thing

that you think can happen?

Huh?

What, a couple

of aunties gossip?

Seriously, Dad,

what are you so afraid of?

Ungrateful children.

You just...

...decide things.

You and your sister both--

you just decide,

whatever it is you want.

You know how much say

my father gave me in my wedding?

None.

Yeah, well, maybe you're fine

in some sort of

loveless marriage

for your whole life, but--

Is that what you think?

Of your mother and I?

I'm gonna ride

with Mom and Jay.

We'll send you an invite,

but no obligation to attend.

[door closes]

[footsteps recede]



Thank you. Thank you.

Why are you sitting over here?

You don't need

to get in my space, please.

You go sit in your chair.

You bought that chair

for yourself, right?

That ridiculous chair.

You go there.

[clock strikes]

What? Why you looking at me?

I'm very tired.

I'm going to head up to bed.

[singing quietly]

[continues singing

as he departs]





You found this guy

on Craigslist?

Instagram.

His ad said

assembling furniture

was his passion.

[door opening]

-Mom!

Hey?

Don't "Hey, Mom" me!

And you!

What did you say

to your father?

What?

He's extremely upset!

Good.

"Good"?

When did you become like this?

What, brave?

Disrespectful!

Sitting like that

while your mom

is still standing!

I tried, okay?

I really tried.

You know how much.

See, this is the problem

with the two of you.

You both think

we are the enemy.

Do you know that

when you even

prick your finger, we bleed?

Excuse me, Ma'am?

Would you like

something to sit on?

Who are you?

Where is your shirt?

-He doesn't work with a shirt.

-No, no. Nice boy.

Nice boy.

I'm good. Thank you. No. No.

[Arundhathi]

She's fine.

Do you have any idea

what the last six years

have been like for us?

You just announce

that you're g*y,

and you take off.

You go off

to live your own life.

I don't know anything about

you or your relationships,

nothing,

and then you come back

with this boy

who we don't know

anything about,

and you just announce

that you're engaged?

Twice?

How do you expect

your father to react?

And I've been

indulging you so much

out of fear!

I'm so scared that if I say

one wrong word to you,

you're just gonna

cut us off your life forever!

Mom, I would never--

I have to go.

And you!

You're wasting your time

in this room with one chair.

[footsteps receding]

[door opens]

All we have is each other!

[door closes]





[sizzling]

[knocking]

Hey, Uncle.

-Ah.

-Megha sent me in.

Come in.

Is everything okay?

I got your message.

I thought

we can have a little chat.

Are you making korma?

Ah.

Can I help?

No, no, no. No. I'm okay.

Do you ever try making this

with dates, Uncle?

Why would I do that?

That is just odd.

It's actually

a wonderful flavour.

Then you should make something

which is supposed

to have dates in it.

Naveen says

you've always done the cooking.

When I was a boy,

I wanted to cater weddings

for a living...

to be a cook.

Why didn't you?

When I told my father,

he gave me this.

That was a different time.

Not that different.

Naveen never told me

that story.

He doesn't know.

I think

you should tell him.

Do you know

Naveen used to paint?

See that?

[Jay] Ah.

He drew that.

[Jay] Wow.

Always surprising me...

my only son.

So much inside him.

Beautiful things...

like that.

He has...

he has good taste.

Good instincts.

[kissing]



Are there dates in this?

[Archit clears his throat]





[Arundhathi]

You do all this,

and you hope

it lasts forever...

...and if it doesn't,

you come together

and do it all again

for someone else

anyways.

Because...

and-and I'm sorry

to be sentimental,

it's not in my nature, but...

the easiest thing

to believe in

is love.

Here, stand still.

Mom, it's fine.

It's not fine.

And you,

you should be rehearsing!

I'm all set.

He looks good, Ma.

[guests applauding]

[Pandit] Now...

the varmala.

Both our grooms

will exchange garlands

just to specify

their acceptance of each other

as spouses.

Okay.

Ooh...

Come... come on. Come on.

Aren't you the wily coyote?

[laughing]

[encouraging and teasing]

[laughter and applause]

Mangalam Bhagwan Vishnuh,

Mangalam Garunadhwajah.



Mangalam Bhagwan Vishnuh,

Mangalam Garunadhwajah.

You know, I say that

all the time.

Shh!



[Arundhathi] The couple vows

to remain loyal

as long as they live.

The couple vows to live

in harmony with nature.



The couple vows to take care

of each other's families

as their own,

to respect their elders.



The couple vows support...

to take equal care

of the relationship.

The couple vows

friendship to each other...

for this life,

and for all the lives.

[Pandit] You are now

one soul.

They're married.

Happy marry.

Oh...

[Auntie giggling]

[applause]



[applause continues]



[Arundhathi] They say

when you throw the rice

over your shoulder,

you're finally leaving

your parents behind forever.

Ah

But how could you,

really?

Ah

Ah

Ah

Where did Mom go?

[tapping on microphone]

Hello.

[conversations begin hushing]

[applause]

I'm Megha...

Naveen's mother.

I didn't know

your mom was speaking.

Uh...

Naveen's father and I

have been married for 35 years,

so I'm here

to offer some advice.

How much

has she had to drink?

Your mother doesn't drink.

[Megha] I didn't

meet Naveen's father

until our engagement,

so there were many things

we didn't know about each other

until after our wedding day.

I had to figure out

what this new person liked,

didn't like,

what he preferred,

didn't prefer...

Maybe she is drunk.

...what he really liked,

really didn't like,

how much,

how many times...

that's right, people.

I'm talking about

the most important thing

in any relationship...

food.

-[laughter]

-Oh!

Oh, my god! She got me.

-[laughter]

-[relieved sigh]

I was so nervous.

I had never done it

before marriage...

Oh, my god.

...the cooking.

-Oh, my god.

-No. I can't do this.

This is worse than coming out.

I tried making him idlis

for our first breakfast.

It came out like idli pudding.

[chuckling]

The dosas kept breaking.

Potatoes so tough,

you could

break your teeth on them.

[laughing]

It went on like this

for a week,

and then, one night,

I woke up to this amazing aroma.

My husband was in the kitchen,

cooking an enormous feast.

Aloo paratha,

daal makhani,

navratan korma,

bhindi curry...

The poor man just couldn't

take it anymore!

He was starving.

[laughter]

He was so apologetic,

but I was so thrilled.

Afterwards, we conceived

our first child--

Arundhathi.

-Oh, sh*t!

-Oh, my god.

Okay. We're going there.

Arundhathi,

who gave us so much joy,

and who we love so much.

And Naveen

wasn't too far behind.

Naveen,

you were such a shy,

delicate little boy,

and I wouldn't say

I was so surprised

when you came out

to be a g*y...

-[snickering]

-Wow.

-There she is.

-Okay.

...but I was scared.

I was worried

that life would be harder

for you.

I was worried

you would be lonely.

Jay...

thank you

for loving my son.

You have put my heart at ease.

Naveen and Jay,

you two have a major head start

on your father and me.

Yours might seem like

a different kind of marriage,

but if you are lucky,

in time,

the love that you have today

will seem small,

because you will see

as life goes on,

that your love

will grow and grow

and grow...

until one day you realize...

that it will never

stop growing.

[applause]

[applause continues]

Nice speech.

Thank you.

You know,

your father and I

were luckier

than I realized.

I think everyone deserves

to feel so lucky one day.

You're next, Chumki.

[Arundhathi chuckles]

Okay.

So, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Let's do this.

-Let's do this.

[background conversations]

-Go!

The mic, yeah?

[microphone squeals]

And now, everyone, be quiet!

I mean it! Be quiet!

Put it together...

because the groom's family

have arranged for

a special surprise for the...

groom!

[spotlight clicks and whooshes]

What?

[soft piano intro rises]

What's happening?

[Naveen] You know...

there's nothing gayer

than Bollywood...

Oh, my god.

...the bigness of love.

[audience cheering]

["Jalebi Baby" by Tesher plays]

Te-Te-Te-Te-Te-Te-

Te-Te-Te-Tesher

Eh!

[cheering]

Mithi galam kara ke

Tu na ja chada ke

Eh, I think about it

every day

Baby lookin' like

khana khajana on a plate, eh

Like mithai, like kulfi

Ras milai, pisata barfis

Saradia vica garami lagadi

Jada vi tu mere

raha vicom caladi

-I know that you wanna

-Okay!

Get crazy, crazy

Shawty take it slow

Then cheti, cheti

Bana ja tu meri

Jalebi baby

Hey!

- [guests cheering]

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi baby

-What is going on?

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

Oh, I really need it

Jalebi baby

Oh, baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi

Jalebi, I

I know the things

The things that you like

[cheering]



[laughing]

Oh, baby, let me see it

Slay, mama.

Oh!



Yeah

Hey! Tell me how you feel

Oh, the dad's involved.

Movie star

Doin' it for reels

Lookin' like a snack

Lookin' like a whole meal

Gucci and Chanel

Wit' yer red-bottom heels

Ice drip like pani

Bana ja tu meri rani

Oh, my god, he's vogueing!

She my divani masatani

Light it up, living every day

like it's Diwali

Young Tesher, young Shahrukh

I'm at every party

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi baby

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

Oh, I really need it

Jalebi baby

Oh, baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it



Jalebi, aye

I know the things

The things that you like

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi baby

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

Know I really need it

Jalebi baby

Oh, baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi baby

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi, oh



Baby, let me see it

Jalebi baby

I just wanna eat it

Jalebi baby

Baby, let me see it

Jalebi, oh

[bell ringing]

["Sage" by Ritviz plays]

Sage

Dil ki dhadkan si

toh aaye jaana

Humri sab-sab ki

h* jaaye ya na

Bistar adhoori

toh kaise soye jaana?

Bistar adhoori

lo-lo-lori sunana

Dil ki dhadkan si

toh aaye jaana

Humri sab sab ki

h* jaaye ya na

Kabhi-kabhi

toh humse ghabrana

Sabhi-sabhi

ko tum hi samjhana

Abhi-abhi

toh humne hi jaana

Tu kaynat na-na

Kaynat ah-ah

Kaynat, ha, ha Kaynat

Kaynat

Kaynat, Kaynat

Ha, ha Kaynat

Kaynat

Lori sunana

Dil ki dhadkan si

toh aaye jaana

Humri sab-sab ki

h* jaaye ya na

Bistar adhoori

toh kaise soye jaana?

Bistar adhoori

lo-lo-lori sunana

Lori sunana

Lori sunana

Lori sunana

Lori sunana