01x08 - Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

[♪ opening theme song playing]

[narrator] Due to the first typhoon
of the year,

the class trip
to Destinyland was canceled.

[Murai] No!

SENGOKU KOI EMAKI:
I WANT YOU TO BEAR MY HEIR

AWESOME GAME

What was that just now? An illusion?

[Tanaka] I Want You to Bear My Heir.

I Want You to Bear My Heir.

I Want You to Bear My Heir.

New fan disc, Sengoku Koi Emaki:
I Want You to Bear My Heir!

That title is insane.

By "heir," does that mean...

I guess it means
exactly what it sounds like.

[Hitomi] Well, it is a game for all ages,

so even if there was a scene where they
do it, I'm sure it'd just fade to black.

But fan discs are usually a reward
catering to otome gamers' every desire,

allowing them to get married
and enjoy life as newlyweds.

[Yuuka] So it seems likely that
Tanaka-sensei will sleep with Hitotose.

-[Murai] And the probability?
-[Yuuka] 100%!

Yeah, well,
but it's just happening on-screen,

so it's no big deal, Murai.

Don't underestimate this game.

-Little Sister, do your thing.
-Understood.

Sengoku Koi Emaki is a hit series
with six titles including this new one.

Its success is due to
the outstanding story.

In the otome game industry,

it is said that every work by this writer
is guaranteed to be a hit.

They have even written scripts
for historical dramas.

In this fan disc, the real challenge
would be not sleeping with the characters.

People like you think that otome games
are just romance games for women,

but don't trash them
without knowing a thing about them.

You don't have to like or understand them,

but you do have to respect it as art that
someone devoted their life to creating.

If you can't do that,
you have no right to judge anything!

Keep that in mind!

I will keep that in mind.

Now what, Murai?

It's good that you
got to eat her cheeks and all,

but if they [bleep],
it would be a huge win for him.

[Hitomi] There seems to be
no way to stop it.

[Hirai] You'll have to buy every copy
so you're the only one who owns it.

With your family's money, you could do it.

-That's it.
-[Hirai] What?

-It was a joke.
-[Murai] That's it, Hirai!

No, that's not it!

I'll own it.

This time,
I will not simply imitate Hitotose,

I will absorb Hitotose.

I will possess Hitotose!

[narrator] Visual for reference only.

Hey! Does that mean
you'll sleep with Hitotose too?

I won't do it!

I went along with it last time,
but I'm not doing the whole heir thing!

-Kiri...
-[Onigiri] Kiwi.

I'll stick around
as long as you want, Murai.

I'm ready to give birth
to around 5,000 babies.

Huh? Then I'm giving birth too.
Don't leave me out.

[Murai] Hitomi, Yuuka,
when will the game be released?

[Hitomi] Next month.

[Murai] Preorder complete.

[birds chirping]

I'm off to school.

Have a good day!

You forgot your bag.

Okay, time for homeroom.

Everyone, put on your clothes
and take a seat.

And no fireworks in the classroom.

[Yamakado] Huh?

[narrator] Seated.

[Yamakado] Why is everyone
seated properly?

Huh?

Right. This is the college prep course.

The culture seems a bit different
from the art department or Course B.

[narrator] Yoshiki Yamakado, 32 years old.
Head teacher.

Substitute teacher for class 2-1.

Looks like you were all seated on time.
It's actually kind of scary.

Can a couple of you stand up
and walk around?

-[Murai] Yamakado-sensei!
-Yes?

-Where is Tanaka-sensei?
-She's off.

What? When will she come back?

Calm down.

I want to smack her as much as you do.

Don't lump me in with you!

My bad.

Anyway, Tanaka-sensei's taking time off
and I forget when she'll be back.

That should be enough information for you.

What's the reason for her paid leave?
A family visit? You know, don't you?

Look, you think I'm a CIA agent
or something?

[Murai] No, not really.

[Yamakado] Yeah? That's a huge relief.

Well, I'll get out of here
once I finish reading the announcements.

Just bear with me for about 30 seconds.

[Yamakado] Man, what the hell?

Just because Tanaka's taking time off,

that guy is totally badgering me. Scary!

Wait, come to think of it,
Tanaka's been acting kind of...

Oh, wait a minute...

Yamakado-sensei. 30 seconds have passed.

Without you reading a single announcement.

Well, never mind.

There're no announcements anyway.

By the way, Murai,
you got a minute after this?

[doorbell dings]

The fun has arrived.

[Tanaka] The fun has arrived!

What did I take paid leave for, you ask?

Why, to indulge in the pleasure
of this game, of course!

I don't care if the delivery lady
has figured out that I'm an otaku or not.

She and I will both die eventually.

All earthly things are transitory.

So just for now,
I want to feel this flicker of life.

In all my life as an otaku,
how long have I waited for this moment?

I want to sing a song of appreciation
to all the gods around the world!

Now, hit it!

COMMON ROOM

So, you wanted to speak with me?

[Yamakado] I'm going to ask you
a fairly pointed question.

-Do you like chunky sweet red bean paste?
-[Murai] Yes.

[Yamakado] Oh? Sounds like we
wouldn't get along. No, not that.

[Murai] What is it?
Have I done something wrong?

No, this is just my well-honed intuition.

Are you and Tanaka a thing?

Excuse me?

[Yamakado] Sorry if I'm wrong.

But once you've lived a few decades,
you can tell that kind of stuff.

Or is it just me?

[Murai] You're totally wrong.

[Yamakado] Then why are you
so upset about her leave?

Because I asked her to review my project

based on my personal research
on the history of Japanese food culture.

I see.

That's an excellent excuse
considering I asked you out of the blue.

[Murai] Why are you so certain it's a lie?

Because your shifty eyes
are fluttering like a butterfly's wings.

But you have no evidence.

Not yet. That's why I asked you here.

Before you misbehave
and leave any evidence.

Lock up those hormonal teenage emotions
in the prison of your mind.

Please, wait a minute...

[Yamakado] As a minor,
you will be protected no matter what,

but Tanaka will be done for.

She will be thrown into an actual prison.

[Murai] I don't understand any of this.

[Yamakado] Who do you think I am?

I may have been chosen by dart throw,
but I'm still your head teacher.

[narrator] Chairman.

Whether it's a pesky brat like you

or Tanaka, with her attitude
unbecoming of a new teacher,

my job is to protect you.

My next class is about to start,
so please excuse me.

[Yamakado] One more thing.

Tell the idiot in Course B
you hang out with

to stop watching porn during class.

My head is pounding.

What's wrong?
You on your period or something?

Seriously, shut up already.

Yamakado-sensei might have noticed.

Noticed what?
You mean me watching porn in class?

-He's definitely noticed that.
-Oh, man.

What he might have noticed
is my feelings for Sensei.

In fact, he's almost certain of it.

Oh, man, you're screwed. Yamakado...
The classical literature teacher?

[Kiriyama] The calligraphy club advisor
and head teacher,

aka Hades, God of the Underworld.
In other words, you're dead.

But wait, he's not completely
onto you, is he?

He's got no proof, right?

Right, but I had super shifty eyes
when I tried to make an excuse.

[gasps] You won't like this, Hirai,
but I've got a good idea.

That's okay. I'm so used to
that kind of stuff from you.

That's not okay at all! Screw you!

[Hirai] Why do I have to lend her to Murai
to play his girlfriend?

Hey, I don't belong to you.
And I'm not an object to be lent.

[Hirai] But are you actually okay
with this? He rejected you, remember?

[Yayoi] I don't mind.

When your friends are in trouble,
it's natural to help them.

[Hirai] Well, I'm not okay with this!

I want to help Murai out, sure,
but I love you! Yayoi, you're adorable!

I want to go out with you
and do naughty things!

How do you think I feel
about you doing that with my best friend?

Oh, come on.
I don't know what you're imagining,

but all Murai has to do is show
Hades that he has a girlfriend.

None of your delusions are gonna happen.

Shut up. Your smile is sus as hell.

[Murai] I don't think this is gonna work.

Besides, I don't want to act lovey-dovey
with anyone other than Sensei.

Murai, what are you babbling about?

I don't think you understand
the situation you're in,

so let me explain.

You're facing execution.

[Yayoi] If you don't want
the person you love

to be beheaded, you'd better do it.

-Do it.
-[Murai] Yes.

[Yayoi] We used to play make-believe
when we were kids, remember?

I was the mom and you were the dad.

This is the same thing,
just in front of others. Easy, isn't it?

Yes, I am willing to do that.

Then I wanna be the dad's coworker
who moonlights as an assassin.

Then I'm gonna be the mom's secret lover.

[Kiriyama] Okay, let's get this farce
over and done with

so we can go to Hirai's
and play the otome game!

[Murai, in English] Yes, sir!

[Yayoi, in Japanese] Excuse me!

[Yamakado] Who're you? That uniform isn't
from our school. Are you an intruder?

[Yayoi] Could you tell me
where the class 2-1 classroom is?

I'm looking for my boyfriend.

It's on the second floor of this building.

But don't high school girls these days
use phones to communicate?

Uh, I buried my phone in the ground
by mistake.

Thank you for your kindness.

Hey, Yayo-chan. What are you doing here?

Oh, gosh! You caught me!
I was trying to surprise you!

I didn't expect you to come
all the way out here without telling me.

You're more unpredictable
than stock prices.

Why don't we go to
a Seattle-style coffee shop

and discuss the random walk hypothesis?

What even is that?
I don't get it, but it sounds super fun!

[Yayoi] Let's go.

[Murai] Well, then, Yamakado-sensei.

As you can see, we're totally lovey-dovey.

Excuse us!

Yeah, just get out of here.
You guys make me sick.

-Me too.
-[Kiriyama] Awesome.

They're doing great.
Let's go to your place.

[Hirai] You go on ahead.

[Murai] That went well, didn't it?

Yeah, not bad for improv.

[Murai] Thanks for coming
all this way, Yayo-chan.

I don't have many friends who are girls,
so I'm glad you came.

[Yayoi] No problem. Call me anytime.

Well, I'm off to the gym.

[Yayoi] What are you doing here?

I'm playing the mom's secret lover, right?

Wait, no.

[Hirai] Come on,
are you trying to k*ll me?

[Yayoi] What?

Why do you hate me?

At this rate,
I'm going to die of abstinence.

[Yayoi] Is that so?

If that's what you want,
why not do it with some random girl?

I'm not about to give myself up to you
just because you're good-looking.

I like smarter and more elegant men.

-[Hirai] You mean, Murai?
-No.

-[Hirai] Then, Kiriyama?
-No!

[Hirai] What don't you like about me?

You're dumb!

You think all girls
are supposed to fall for you.

That's just plain dumb.

Anyway, I'm going to the gym.

Thanks to you, I feel like
I can bench press 200 kilos today.

[Yamakado] I've just run into another
stupid high school love story

and my hit points
have been reduced to zero...

That said, this is all quite interesting.

That blondie, so sly and slick,
using a fake lover, what a cheeky trick.

By Yoshiki.

What the hell is going on here?

[Hirai] Murai in Love!

[narrator] Hirai's mom, Midori.

Murai, Kiri-chan, help yourselves!

-Okay! Thank you kindly, Ms. Midori!
-[Murai] Thank you.

How are your dads, Murai, Kiriyama?

[Murai] Mine's doing well.
Thank you for asking.

[Kiriyama] My dad's great too.

So great I need a tranquilizer g*n
to keep him contained!

[Murai] How are Hirai's sisters doing?

They're doing great!

Non-chan should be home soon.

-[door slides open]
-[Nozomu] I'm home.

Hey, it's been a while.

[narrator] Nozomu Hirai, 19 years old.
Third daughter of the Hirai family.

It's been a while, Nozomu.

You're cute as usual, Murai.

-Hey, Kiri. Not gonna say hi to me?
-Hi.

[Nozomu] Hey, what's with the attitude?
You want me to kiss you?

Stop it, you idiot!

Speaking of idiots, where is that idiot?

He hasn't come home yet.

He's probably pestering some poor girl.

Leave him alone.

You know what, though, he hasn't brought
any girls home lately, has he?

-I'm home!
-[Midori] Oh, hi, dear.

Starting today, I'm going to aim
for the University of Tokyo!

I hate to say this in front
of your parents, but that's impossible.

He's right. You can't even memorize
the eight times table.

Have you lost your mind
because you got rejected by a girl?

Hey. Shut up, you self-proclaimed C-cup.

Do you want to have your skull bashed in,
you brat?

I'm very sorry.

What? You're not a C-cup?

You want your skull bashed in too?

I'm very sorry.

Who cares about Nozomu's bra size?

[Murai] More important...

I'm very sorry.

[Hirai] Midori,
I don't need dinner tonight.

[Midori] What?

-Call her "Mom"!
-[Hirai] Shut up, you old geezer!

What's wrong with you, Mari-chan?

[Hirai] Quit calling me that!

Come on, Hirai! Did you forget
we're playing that game today?

That's right, Hirai!

I'd feel uncomfortable playing
this particular game without you!

Sorry, but I have to study.

You guys go ahead
and make heirs in that game of yours.

-[both groan]
-What kinda game are you guys playing?

ORION

[Tanaka] What the hell is this game?

"O thread of life,
if thou must break, then break."

"Yet if thou endure,

my strength to bear this burden may wane."

[narrator] Tanaka-style
modern translation.

[Tanaka] If my life is going
to end eventually, let it end now!

If I continue to live like this,

I'll lose control of my feelings
for Hitotose and it'll end in catastrophe!

This is gonna be the death of me. My god.

What a thing they have made!
What have they done to my life?

I totally slept with him.
This is bad. This is insane.

[Tanaka rapping]
♪ The Black Ships have come ♪

♪ Perry has come ♪

♪ My heart opens in a second ♪

[Tanaka] So, this is how
the Meiji Restoration began.

What am I saying?

God, it's such a massive rush
of dopamine and serotonin

that I can't even come up
with a decent metaphor for it.

I could take on the Kurobe Dam right now.
Bring it on, Kurobe Dam!

Wait, what am I talking about?

Oh, I feel terrible. I'm really sick.
I need to sleep. I just gotta sleep.

I'll post my death notice
and then go to bed.

Then I can forget everything I just saw...

HADES GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD
MOBILE

[gasps] The head teacher? Why?!

Did I do something wrong?
I'm sure I did, but what?

-[Tanaka] Yes.
-[Yamakado] Hello?

-Are you at home now?
-[Tanaka] Yes, I am.

I stole your address
off your personal profile.

I'm parked in front of
your apartment right now.

I'm sure this is freaking you out,
but just come on out.

[Yamakado] I need to talk to you.

-Wait, what? Are you kidding me?
-[Yamakado] Have you eaten?

I'll treat you.

I'll be out in five minutes.

[Hitotose] Kitty, don't look at me
like that. I'll lose myself.

Or are you ready to wrestle with me naked?

[Kiriyama]
Seriously, what the hell is up with him?

Which one does it say is the right choice?

[Kiriyama] The bottom one.

OSSU! YOU'RE ON!

[Kiriyama] Why the hell is this
the right one?

What is this, Dragon[bleep]?

PASS

[Murai] I feel like I'm seeing
something I shouldn't.

[Hitotose] What position would you prefer?

[Kiriyama] What is this jerk asking?

Hey, sorry to interrupt,
but what's eight times six?

[Murai] 48.

[Kiriyama] You too!
What are you even asking?

[Hirai] You know I don't know
the eight times table.

[Murai] Kiri, which one should I choose?

[Kiriyama] Just pick the weird one.
That's probably the right choice!

[Murai] Both are weird!

Let's see. Go with this one!

-That was fast.
-Thank you for waiting.

Thanks for this. Let's go. I'm starving!

Seriously, you've got some attitude
for a newbie.

Oh, sorry.

-I really haven't eaten anything today.
-Fine, fine.

Boy, I feel like I could eat
anything and everything right now.

Though is the first time
we've eaten together.

[Tanaka] Wait a minute.

I was freaking out and agreed to come
without thinking things through,

but now that I think about it,
this is the first time

I've had dinner alone with a man,
except for Mao.

Oh, crap, I'm getting nervous.

I wasn't thinking at all,

so I came out in my pajamas
with no makeup on.

I'm not even wearing a bra.

Guess it's fine.
I mean, it's just the head teacher.

[Yamakado] This woman...

She's gone silent all of a sudden.
What's her deal?

What happened to the dumb expression
she had on her face?

Now her face is like,

"I've never had dinner alone
with a guy before."

Wait... I'm not interested at all,
so I didn't pay any attention,

but she's in her pajamas
with no makeup on.

How ballsy can she be?

I mean, what the hell is "happiness"?
I'll kick your a*s.

[Yamakado clears throat]
Hey, do you drink?

Oh, yes, I love to drink.
I recently got into Japanese sake.

Well then, let's go to a restaurant
that serves good sake.

And drop the "this is so awkward"
act already.

[Yamakado] You look like it's your
first time drinking alone with a guy.

If it's your first time,
why would you come out dressed like that?

What? How did you know?
This is my first time.

Hang on...

-[Yamakado] How old are you again?
-[Tanaka] I'm 24.

[Yamakado] Oh, okay.

[both] This is so awkward!

[Yamakado] What is this?

Why should I care about
someone like Tanaka?

Don't give me that innocent look
when you're dressed like that.

[Tanaka] You know, I do appreciate you
taking me to a good sake place,

but you won't be able to drink, right?
Since you're driving...

[Yamakado] Right. I'm here on a mission.

Don't mind me, drink as much as you want.

[Yamakado] Then get drunk and
spill the beans.

That you and Murai are a thing.

She's the nail and I'm the hammer.

As a teacher, I'll hammer the nail
back to where it belongs.

At least, that's what I'm hoping for,
but is it really going to be that easy?

BAR

[Tanaka] I know it's crazy for me
to say this to you of all people,

but I just need someone to hear it.

You see, I finally crossed the line.

-[choking, coughing]
-Hey! What's wrong with you?

Excuse me, we need a rag over here!

[Yamakado] Is she an idiot?

Are you okay?

Wiping my mouth with a cleaning rag.
You have astounding common sense.

Anyway, who did you cross the line with?

Oh? You wanna know?

Well, there's no way I'm telling you!

I'd rather die than have my partner
revealed to the world!

[Yamakado] I bet.
Then, can I ask just one question?

[Tanaka] What?

Is he blond?

Huh?

How do you know that?
Did I say something 'cause I'm drunk?

[Yamakado] She's guilty.

[Tanaka] No... Seriously? Just let me die!

[Yamakado] Tanaka, thanks.
It's good that you were so forthcoming.

We'll have a long talk about this
when you sober up. So...

Excuse me! Another cup of cold sake!

In fact, bring me the whole bottle!
I wanna forget everything!

[Tanaka snores]

Check, please.

[cash register dings]

[♪ closing theme song playing]

NEXT TIME
EPISODE 9