01x18 - Episode 18

[bunniefuu]

[banging on door]

Dani?

Are you here?

Dani?

Hey. Hey, hey.

Hey. Hey, it's me.

Hey, get up.

[moans] Oh, lord...

Hey, it's okay. It's okay.

He's so good at capturing
people's perfect moments.

We're so lucky to have him here.

Right?

Oh, man. This is
a good close-up of you.

It shows your warmth,
your strength,

your elegance.

We should blow it up, frame it.

You are so sweet.

Mm, mm, mm. Your smothered
pork chops are still my fave.

It wasn't
Orphe Gene's good, but...

They were your good.

Besides, we don't need
to spend money going out.

Wasn't thinking about money.

I was thinking about risk.

Risk?

You've met all the Duprees now.

If we were seen out together,

it could get back to Ted
that you are his daughter.

That particular revelation
ought to wait.

So you're not letting
the Ted thing go?

Of course not.

He wants to act like
you and I didn't exist.

But once I put the truth

to his snobby social circle,

then-- hmm--
he won't be able to pretend

like we are invisible.

You know what, Mama?

I recorded that show
you said you liked.

Let's watch it.

I would have exposed him
at the awards ceremony

if he hadn't gotten me
thrown out.

-You don't know he did that.
-Of course he did.

And it was so like him

to have that flunky
party manager do his dirty work.

[scoffs]

[applause]

I want to thank you
for alerting me

to the issues with that server.
It's been handled.

Thank you.

Maybe he just didn't want you
to ruin Nicole's big night.

But I guess he can't
hold you back forever.

You got that right.

♪ ♪

Don't act like
you didn't hear me.

This is done.

We are done.

Okay, so the waitstaff
embarrasses you

at the country club,
and you what?

Hmm? You want to just give up
on our days-old marriage?

Don't belittle me, Bill.

You're making my feelings
sound ridiculous

when I know they're not.

I didn't intend to do that,
baby,

I just don't get where
all this is coming from, okay?

If I can understand it,
then maybe I can help fix it.

I'm not just
talking about today.

I realize that.

But isn't the worst behind us?

We endured divorce scandal.

We even got held at gunpoint
at our own wedding.

It seems to me that
the bad part is over.

For you, maybe.

When you go to the office,
show up in court,

or appear at the club,
you're respected.

I was naive enough to think
that the respect people gave you

would be extended to me
once we got married.

But it isn't,
and probably never will be.

Am I supposed to just put up
with the mockery

and disrespect
for the rest of my life?

I'm not sure that I can.

[phone buzzes]

Hey, babe. Uh, everything okay?
Need something?

I've got a special surprise
for you,

and I don't want you to miss it.

What kind of surprise?

I borrowed your kitchen,

and I'm making my firehouse's
blue ribbon lasagna.

After all this time together,

you never said
there were lasagna contests

or that your firehouse had
a blue ribbon in baking them.

But please, I don't think
you should overdo it, okay?

Cooking isn't nothing, you know?

There's a lot of bending
and-and carrying and stuff.

Derek, you just got released
from the hospital.

Well, maybe I'll collapse
from exhaustion

and you'll have to give me
mouth-to-mouth, hmm?

[both chuckle]

You are so crazy.

Okay, I promise
I'll be there on time.

[laughs]

[sighs]

This video is incredible.
It's amazing.

You're amazing.

Andre, were you
about to kiss me?

[sighs]

Here, take this ibuprofen,

and you're gonna want to drink
the whole glass, all right?

Mm-hmm.

I see a mammoth hangover
in your future.

I don't usually drink that much.

What?

Dani, I've seen you
knock back a few.

Not to the point of passing out.

I guess I forgot to keep track
of how much I was drinking.

Ha-ha. Dani, I'm not playing.

You could have
been seriously hurt.

You could've hit your head.
You could've choked.

A million things.

-If you hadn't called me by--
-But I did.

And now we've established
even Dani Depree has her limits.

Lesson learned.

I hope so.

So, want another blanket?

Arms are better.

Mm. [chuckles]

All right. Come here.

Do me a favor?

Depends.

Can you not tell anyone
you found me like this?

My family would probably
get all bent out of shape

and call an intervention
or something.

Yeah, you got it.

Besides, I don't feel
like explaining

why I was here anyway.

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

I'll be better behaved
in the future.

Ease up, now.

There's no need
in going all out.

Now, you could slow your roll
on the booze,

but, uh, keep
the misbehaving coming, hmm?

What would I do without you,
my once-in-a-while man?

All right, I'm gonna
let you get some sleep.

Andre.

Yeah?

Don't go yet.

Please.

Yeah.

You're the tough-as-nails woman
that not only stands up to me,

but you went straight
to Dany's lair

and you read her the Riot Act.

Now where's that woman, hmm?

My fire-breathing dragon
of a wife?

[sighs] She's right here.

You're exhausted.

Disappointed.

Look, maybe you
shouldn't have given me

a glimpse of what life
with just the two of us

alone and happy could be.

We got to shut out the world
on our honeymoon

with just you and me alone.

I could get lost in that.

I liked that.

Then let's keep doing that.

How?

When, the minute we got back,

the Duprees and their minions
were at it again.

Taunting me,
trying to get an edge.

It's like their team sport.

"Who can break Hayley?"

Yeah, and the crazy thing is,
they absolutely love it.

Well, just... I don't know,
ignore them, okay?

Just ignore Dani.

You say that like it's doable.

She infiltrated our home.

She managed to get
every server in the club

to humiliate me
before she was even in the room.

And no matter how many times
she pulls one of her stunts,

you promise it's the last.

Okay, if you would
just let me retaliate--

You have.

You know, I'm beginning to think
that you enjoy this

just as much as she
enjoys torturing me.

I'm the only one not having fun
at this tennis match.

Okay, okay, okay.

If she's so impossible to ignore

and you won't let me
act against her,

then what can I do?

Give me the life you promised me
from the beginning.

The idyllic picture
you painted when you proposed.

Was that some sales pitch
to hook me?

Of course not, baby.

Because if it is, Bill,

I have some decisions to make.

[scoffs]

[sighs]

So, what do you say?

Want to watch the show?

We don't have time for that.

What we need to do
is figure out how to use

the fact that you're working
in Nicole and Ted's house.

Did I tell you I had another
run-in with her daughter Kat?

[scoffs] You'll love this.

So I was at the club,
running an errand for Nicole,

and Kat was having breakfast
with this guy she's been seeing.

His name is Tomas.

And on the way out,
I spoke to him,

sort of flirty-like.

And Kat got really upset.

I can't believe how easy
she gets triggered.

Tell me more about this guy.

Well, I don't know much
about him,

but he's really cute, though.

Confident. Seems smart.

Ooh, and he's a lawyer.

-I see.
-Mm-hmm.

Well, he sounds like
a creeper to me, little girl.

Keep your distance. Stay clear.

What's crazy is that I was on
this amazing creative roll.

I-I'd had this brilliant idea--
thank you--

about styling this vintage dress

that Chelsea's
going to be modeling.

How I-- how I could contrast it

with Afrofuturist
hair and makeup.

That's fire.

You know, you really have
an artist's eye, Dani.

So you see why I was
in the mood to celebrate.

Nice try, but, uh...

"Still Life with Dani
and Vodka Bottle"

was not a celebration.

Clearly, I should have waited
for you to get here.

We might've had a better time.

Yeah...

What is this?
Maybe the second time

things haven't gone
as planned for us?

[chuckles] "Second."

Uh, let's try every time,
all the time.

Is that good or bad?

It is what it is. Hmm?

Well, listen,
this is what I need

your best event to be, Dani:

Taking care of yourself,
and I mean that.

Okay, Coach.

You need rest, all right?
Real rest.

And not the kind that you get
at the bottom of a vodka bottle.

So you're gonna lie down,
close your eyes

and, uh, I'm gonna put on
some smooth tunes.

And then you'll slip away
under the cover of night?

[chuckles] Yeah, I'm gonna
be sitting right here,

using my artist's eye
to imagine you naked.

Knock yourself out.

All right. Come on, I got you.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Why would you say Tomas is
a creeper? Whatever that is.

You've never even seen him.

And why do I have
to stay away from him?

Don't be rude to the guy.

Just don't let it
go any further.

Further than "hello"?

Because that's as far as we got.

You flirted enough to tweak Kat.

Oh, now you care
about her feelings?

[laughs]

Ugh. I don't.

But...

we don't want her
to be annoyed, okay?

She's an entitled
little princess

that can possibly get you fired.

So...

I hate having
to tiptoe around her.

I know, but we need you
inside the house, honey.

Come on.

Let sleeping Kats lie. [laughs]

What we need is an event.

Oh, my gosh, Mama,
I just organized one.

Oh, I know, honey,
and you were so good at it.

But this one has to be
about Ted, okay?

Since you thought that, uh,
Nicole's was the wrong occasion,

this event has to be
something that

when the truth comes out,

Ted will spit nails.

He will throw a fit.

-He will--
-Okay, okay, I get it.

But there's nothing like that
on the calendar.

Mm.

Oh. [chuckles]

I know what we can do.

We?

You mean me, don't you?

Okay, yes,
you, little girl, you.

You're gonna do it,

and you're gonna do it great.

-My favorite picture.
-[laughing]

-Hey, there, nephew.
-What's good, Uncle Ted?

We're just going through
the pictures

you took at the awards ceremony.

They are phenomenal.

-Ah, thank you.
-[pager beeping]

Eh, they always pull
on their stitches.

Let me go check on this patient.

Andre, thanks once again.

If you came to follow up on
our conversation from yesterday,

I get no one likes
unsolicited advice.

It's no worries, Aunt Nicole.
Promise.

Plus, I've been known to give
my own unsolicited advice

from time to time.

I hope you know
I didn't mean to offend.

No worries. Really.

And you know I love you,
don't you?

Of course I do.

What, are you worried about
what I told you about Ashley?

[sighs] Let's just
put it this way...

I have no doubt that
you will make a lucky woman

-a wonderful partner...
-Mm-hmm.

...when you are ready
to settle down.

In fact, I will happily
dance at your wedding.

Mm. Okay.

-If I live that long.
-[laughs]

Hey, I'll hold you to that.

And in the meantime,

you don't have to worry
about me and Ashley.

She has zero
romantic interest in me.

Derek, it smells
absolutely amazing in here.

I'm glad you approve.

-Lasagna's almost done.
-And the table.

Oh, it's so cute.

I'll get the wine glasses.

I was right.
You overdid it, didn't you?

It's nothing, really. I'm just..

Maybe you wouldn't mind just...

Ooh. It's really
knotted up right here.

You know what?
You better sit down

so I can get a better angle.

All right.

That feels amazing. Other side.

-How's this feel?
-Like heaven.

You know, I-I've been having
a lot of tension in my jaw, too.

-Your jaw?
-Mm-hmm.

I've never given
a jaw massage before.

I may have to come
around front for that.

Well, there's plenty of room.
You can sit right here.

Like this?

Mm. Exactly like that.

I think you're okay now.

I think I'd be better
if we did this.

What about this
incredible-smelling dinner

I rushed home for?

-What about it?
-[laughs]

-[phone buzzes]
-That's work.

Uh--

I thought you were
on medical leave.

I am, but this is
an all-hands-on-deck situation.

Five-alarm blaze downtown.
That relic of a hotel.

No, Derek, you were just hurt.

That's what
firefighters do, baby.

I'll be back
as soon as I can, okay?

Ted and Nicole's
wedding anniversary's coming up.

How in the world
do you know that?

[chuckles] Some things are
just seared into your brain.

Back then,
Ted and I were a thing,

and he canceled on me.

Later on, I found out

that he went
to dinner with Nicole

to celebrate their anniversary.

What a better reason
to have a party?

Mmm. [chuckles]

I'm actually glad Ted stopped me

from interrupting
Nicole's award ceremony.

This is a much better fit

for what I'm going to do.

Which is...?

Which is...
when the two of them are gushing

about their perfect,
legendary love affair,

then boom, I'll blow it up.

Hate to burst your bubble, Mama,

but Ted and Nicole
don't have a party planned.

All Nicole said was that
their anniversary was coming up

and to keep her schedule free
in case

they want to go to dinner
or something.

Mm. Aww.

Well, see, honey,

that is where
you'll come in, okay?

So all you need to do is just

suggest that they
have a big bash.

That would be weird.

-Why?
-Because I'm only an assistant.

It'd be way off for me to be
all in their personal events.

Hmm.

You never had a problem
being persuasive before.

That's not what
it's feeling like.

-What's that supposed to mean?
-Nothing. Forget it.

If Ted and Nicole
don't take the bait,

then you have to go
to Martin and Kat

and suggest to them
that they throw

a surprise party
for their parents.

I'd rather run through fire
barefoot than to talk to Kat.

Besides,
she'll never listen to me.

Why are you sh**ting down
all my ideas?

I have good ideas.

They're really good ideas, Eva.

I know you do, Mama,

but I'm not sure
I'm ready for all this.

Nicole's smart. She'll know
if I'm trying to manipulate her,

and then she might resist
even harder.

Look, I just don't want
to disappoint you.

I've never known you
to be a coward.

I'm just trying
to be smart about all this.

Well...

if I am not worried

about you taking on the task,

then you shouldn't be
worried about you.

Oh, come on, honey.
I know you can pull it off.

I know it.

Ashley has no interest in you.

That must feel... different.

Yeah, she completely
shut me down.

And straight up,
she had every right.

I think we're better as friends.

That is very mature
of you, Andre.

Yeah, I do have
my adult moments.

[Nicole laughs]

[sighs] And because I do,

I really hope
you might hear me out

about this next subject.

What's that?

-It's your sister.
-What did she do now?

No, I don't mean it--
I don't mean it like that.

Listen, I happened
to run into her tonight,

and she seemed down.

Really?
I just saw her at breakfast.

She was fine.

And she was wonderful
at the ceremony.

Best emcee ever.

She should be riding high
from that.

You'd think.

Look, I don't want it
to get back to her,

what I'm about to say.

But I know from experience...

...that when a crisis
has passed, and...

...the worst is supposedly over,

when everyone thinks
that you're okay

and you've moved on,

that is when it can be
the loneliest.

Dani? Lonely?

That never really
occurred to me.

You surprise me
sometimes, Andre.

With all of your mystique
and charm,

you can be a very insightful
young man.

Look, I don't know
about all that,

but what I do know is
that you are a good sister.

And it seems that Dani
could really use

your support right now.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

Is somebody here?
I thought I heard the doorbell.

What is all this?

Well, the doorbell ringing
is our dinner being delivered.

This is my way of letting you
know that our honeymoon

is by no means over.

This is just my small,
humble way of saying thank you.

-For what, exactly?
-For being honest with me.

You were sincere and forthright.

You opened my eyes to see
how much you've been struggling

in these early days
of our marriage.

Okay.

That's a pretty good start.

-Mm.
-Go on.

Well, you feel let down.

I promised you the moon and
I barely launched the rocket.

And nothing went the way
that we planned.

Not our wedding,
our short-circuited honeymoon.

And if it weren't for my work,
we'd still be

in Italy right now.

So, tonight, my love,
we are in Ischia.

An island so beautiful
and remote, no one can find us.

Mm.

[romantic music playing]

Oh, Bill.

This is one of the songs

from the outdoor performance
you took me to.

-Yeah. So you recognize it?
-Oh, my God.

Babe, you have an amazing ear.

Among other wonderful qualities.

That concert was unforgettable.

Babe, this is so beautiful,

so thoughtful.

You must have gone through

an extraordinary
amount of trouble.

See, that's where
you're wrong, Hayley.

Because this was
no trouble for me.

You know why?
Because spending time with you

is the best and most exciting
part of my life.

Okay? And I want you
to know that.

I'll admit that, lately, it...

-hasn't felt like that.
-I know,

I know, I know.
And I'm sorry.

I just get caught up with work,
other distractions.

But I want to make it
abundantly clear that...

...you're where
my heart is, baby.

You really are.

And if that hasn't
been evident until now,

it will be tonight
and from now on, okay?

-Um... okay.
-Okay?

Why don't you come over here,
have a seat?

-Okay. Okay.
-Mm-hmm.

Because tonight I am going

to prepare for you
the best linguine tutto mare

this side of the Big Boot.

-Oh... Mm.
-[chuckles]

[affectionate grunting]

-Thanks, Mom.
-Mm-hmm.

I could really use the company.

-[door closes]
-So Derek's out on a call?

Yeah, he officially has
recovered from his concussion.

But I still
don't think it's fair

that they're making him
go back into work so soon.

I think you got used
to doting on him

when he was in the hospital.

That, but I'm mostly bummed
because tonight

was supposed to be him
doting on me.

Is that why there's enough
lasagna for an entire firehouse?

Well, you know Derek.

Big gestures. [laughs]

Ah. What's, uh, what's this?

Uh, it's a gift from Andre
to commemorate

-my first week on the job.
-Mm.

Well, I'm guessing
this good-looking guy

must be the Andre?

Man of the elevator.

Partner in
the famed baby delivery.

Yeah, that very Andre.

So where's he been?

I've met most of your friends,
but not him.

Well, he's
Dr. Richardson's nephew.

Oh, right.

And he's not around a lot

because of work.

Though, after we delivered
that baby together,

something changed.

I think we moved into
the friend zone now...?

Well, it's
a really thoughtful gift.

It was.

Would you like to have it?

[chuckles] Why would you
want to give it away?

It's such a personal present.

I don't know.
I feel kind of funny about it.

Because of Derek?

-Yeah.
-Well, Derek
wouldn't be threatened

by a photo, would he?

I mean, there's nothing romantic

between you
and this young man, is there?

Is there?

Not until the other night.

-What happened?
-Andre...

...almost kissed me.

I really love
having Andre around again.

It has been a pleasure
getting to see so much of him.

But I do have to admit,

I also really love
the photos of his vacations

from around the world.

I think I live a little
vicariously through him.

We can take our own.

We have an anniversary
coming up.

So, where'd you like to go?

I've always wanted
to see St. Barts.

-Mm.
-You?

What do you want to see?
Bahia? Ghana? Cape Town?

It's a secret.

I can't tell you.
It's always been a dream.

Ted, there's nothing you can
say to me that will turn me off.

Well, I thought
it would always be cool

to visit every
Major League Baseball field,

in one trip.

For our anniversary?

You think that's
a romantic vacation?

You made me tell you.

Ted, I love you to death.

But if you think you are going
to drag me from city to city

to sit on hard wooden bleachers,

drink beer and eat hot dogs,
forget it.

When was the last time
you've been to a baseball game?

Now every stadium
has been renovated.

They have gourmet food,
and they have padded seats.

You're not kidding
about this, are you?

You're serious.
You want to do this.

[laughs] The look on your face.

[laughter]

NICOLE:
You are terrible. Just terrible.

Eva. What are
you doing here so late?

I-I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to intrude.

[groans]

I don't see the danger
of being friends.

And as for that moment--

-Where he almost
crossed the line.
-But he didn't.

And that's what's important.

Did you tell Derek
what happened?

No. I don't want things
to be any more awkward

than they already are.

Andre feels bad.

I mean, he apologized.

I'm just really scared

things are going to be
weird between us now.

Well, it sounds
like a misunderstanding.

As long as you think he'll be
more respectful going forward,

then things will probably
get back to normal.

I really hope you're right.

I like Andre. He's...

interesting and he's fun, and...

...the truth...

is that if we weren't
in each other's orbit,

I'd... miss him.

[chuckles]

I got Kat's dress cleaned

and wanted to get it back
into her closet ASAP.

Um, I ran into Andre
on his way out.

Otherwise,
I'd have rung the bell.

Oh, that's fine.
Ted here, the love of my life,

-most of the time... [laughs]
-Hey.

...was spinning a grand plan

to whisk me away
for our anniversary

for two weeks
of Major League Baseball

and all of the chili dogs
that I can stand.

I spare no expense
on my beloved.

We're kidding.

-Oh.
-[laughter]

Honestly, this time of the year
is really busy for me.

I wouldn't be able to get away.

What about if I switch
to a WNBA game?

Now, that's
a little more promising.

But still no.

We'll have to plan our trip for
a little later on in the year.

You may not have time
for a trip,

but you can still celebrate
your anniversary.

Not many people stay married
as long as you guys.

-You're right about that.
-EVA: Mm-hmm.

It's not easy being married
to me.

Hey, you said it, not me.

[laughter]

Maybe I can make
dinner reservations for you

or help set up a little party.

-Now, that sounds great.
-Careful, Eva.

Ted's idea of a little party may
be very different than yours.

I would hate for you to take on
more than you can handle.

Nonsense. She did a great job
with your award celebration.

Hey, if the two of you want
to put your heads together,

far be it from me to stop you.

-I'd love to help.
-TED: Thank you, Eva.

We appreciate you.

I'll put Kat's dress upstairs
where I got it.

Mm.

That was... How do they put it?

A gastronomic delight. Mwah.

Well, I hope you saved room
for dessert

because I ordered
the most delicious tiramisu.

Bill, uh, dinner was beautiful,

and this was all very romantic,

but it doesn't mean we've
talked about our real issues.

We don't need to,

because we don't have
any underlying problems.

But we do.

Okay, look, I heard everything
you said earlier, babe.

I really did.

Our neighbors are unsupportive.

The Duprees are
a collective pain in the a*s.

But like you said before,
when we're alone together

and we get lost in one another,

none of that outside mess
matters.

Okay, and what's your solution?

Schedule more alone time.
A lot more.

And that'll be easy,

because there's no place I'd
rather be than alone with you.

Oh. You're a sweet talker,
Bill Hamilton.

I'll give you that.

Well, maybe, but I put
my money where my mouth is.

-You did not.
-I did, too.

But how?

[chuckles]
At the concert.

Remember
when I went to get us gelato?

You said the line
was really long, Bill.

I know. Just a white lie.

[gasps] Oh, wow.

These are stunning.

And the ones I was admiring.

-You do listen to me.
-Of course I do.

I just feel really awful.

[groans]

No one's ever treated me
the way you do,

and I don't want
to seem ungrateful.

-Thank you.
-[chuckles]

Do you see,
that smile right there?

That's all the thanks I need.

Well, I think I can do

a little better than a smile.

-Hmm.
-Uh-huh.

Hmm.

-Yes.
-[chuckles]

-[kissing]
-Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Well, I will tell the chef
that the lasagna was a hit

and to keep it on the menu.

And please,
please take leftovers.

You could feed the entire block.

Hey, Ash, where do
you keep the scouring pads?

[sighs]

[sighs]

-You were right, Bill.
-About what, baby?

I am strong enough
to fight for us.

And you are so worth the fight.

I can't let myself forget that.

Well, you never have
to fight alone, you know.

Not anymore.

That part of your life ended

the day we fell in love,
Mrs. Hamilton.

You stand tall, okay?

And I'll be right beside you
every step of the way.

Look at this one
of Mother and Daddy.

How they look at each other
after all of these years.

All that love and affection
in their eyes.

That's relationship goals
right there.

All we have to do is
just follow in their footsteps.

Now, that is a beautiful notion,
my love.

Oh. So...

what happened?
Did you do what I said?

Did you plant the idea of
the party with Ted and Nicole?

-Yeah.
-And?

They want to do it.

[squeals] Perfect.

[laughs] Oh, my goodness.

Okay, so you do
all the planning,

and I will bring the fireworks.

[laughs]