01x22 - Episode 22

[bunniefuu]

Chelsea just told me the news.

You came over to watch me
fall apart? [clears throat]

Of course not.

She told me you were
totally supportive of her.

Yay, me.

I can't believe
she's quitting modeling.

Me, either.

I'm nothing if not a good faker.

You're a good mom.

It must be hard letting her go.

Yeah.

Very.

I remember this magazine cover.

How'd the frame get cracked?

I didn't smash it in a rage,

if that's
what you're worried about.

Someone else broke it

and I haven't had a chance
to fix it yet.

There must be a reason
you're holding it, crying.

Reminds me of my life.

Broken and jagged.

Well, maybe I can help you
put it back together.

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

Paying my tab,

then going home
to soak in a tub.

Not until you hear me out.

My father told you
about the lawsuit?

-Of course he did. I'm his wife.
-Ugh.

Aren't you tired
of bragging about that?

The suit impacts the both of us.

After all, I am an employee
at the firm, too.

You know, you got a promotion
that was promised

to one of my clients.

And given that you were

sleeping with the head
of the firm at the time,

it's more evidence that

it's an inappropriate,

harassment-filled
work environment.

I earned my promotion.

On your back,

between the sheets with my dad?

Okay, look,
I'm going to ignore that.

Okay.

Lots of people work at the firm.

You thought about how picking
a fight with Bill affects them?

Or is hurting your father
your only goal,

and anyone else
is just collateral damage?

My husband is always
watching out for me,

but sometimes
we get our wires crossed.

A reporting job
at The Washington Record.

My schedule has
suddenly opened up.

-That's terrific news.
-Yeah. Of course,

I'm going to have
to discuss it with Martin first

because we always make
family decisions together.

EVAN: Oh, absolutely.
I totally understand.

All I ask is that
you get back with me ASAP.

I want you,
but this is a choice gig,

so there are
a lot of candidates,

and I really need to get
an offer out there quickly.

Absolutely. Thank you, Evan.

Ah, no, thank you.

All right. See ya.

I can explain.

I hope so, because
I can't think of one reason

why you would turn down
an incredible job offer

on my behalf and not even
bother to tell me.

♪ ♪

TED:
Hey, sweetheart.

Hey, Dad.

Are you and Mom
free for dinner tonight?

I am, and I'm pretty sure
Nicole is, too.

Great.
Meet me at Uptown. My treat.

It's been forever since I've had
one-on-one time with you,

and I want to catch up.

What did I do to deserve you?

What do you mean?

I don't know very many
hip young women

who still want to dine

with their hopelessly
unhip parents.

Stop that, Daddy.
You and Mom are the coolest.

Normcore cool.

Whatever that means,
I'll take it.

Great.
See you there around 8:00.

♪ ♪

This reminds me of when
you were a little itty-bitty

and we would split a pint.

Yup, eat right out
of the container.

Mmm. The whole pint
in one sitting.

To me, that was the most
extravagant thing in the world.

I felt like a little princess
in some royal court.

Mm.

Well, you've seen King Ted

and Queen Nicole's way of life.

And you've also
been cheated out of

what the other kids have.

And that's the life
that you deserved

this whole time.

I never should have let him
talk me into leaving town.

[scoffs]

And keeping
his dirty little secret.

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.
That sounded terrible.

It's-it's okay.

I know what you meant.

He made me feel so low,

so cheap.

And I'm finally gonna crawl
out of my sunken place

and expose Mr. "Family Man" Ted

for the lying hypocrite he is.

[scoffs] Boy,

I'm gonna get a lot
of bang for my buck, baby.

[laughs]

And everybody will know.

'Cause I'm gonna tell them

at Ted and Nicole's
anniversary party.

Eat up.

Mmm.

Two creams, one sugar.

How'd you know?

I'm a big shot
detective, remember?

I pay attention,

I get the intel.

Thanks.

You're very welcome.

Why are you
being like this, man?

Like what?

Nice.

I mean, you're my partner.

I was in the break room
having some coffee,

and I figured
you might want some, too.

Why else?

Because you want something,

and it's gonna be
something I won't like.

Suspicious much?

I didn't tell you about the job
because I didn't think

it was the right
opportunity for you.

Why not? Because journalism jobs

pay little and I'd be insulted?

Any money I make would be

more than I make right now
as a stay-at-home dad.

I handled it the wrong way,

I admit.

I was afraid
of losing you to the work,

the same way you hate
losing me to politics.

That is a crock.

You...

you don't think
what I do is as important

as being a congressman.

That's not true. I do.

I know how
important the press is.

It's one of the reasons
that the First Amendment exists.

Thank you for your stump speech,

but I'm not your constituent.

I'm your husband.

Be real with me.

This isn't
the first secret you've kept.

What are you talking about?

Earlier tonight, I find out

that you want
to run for president?

I feel like
me being the last to know

is becoming a pattern.

I'm sorry.

A "sorry" is not
what I'm looking for.

I want to understand
why you did it.

I was selfish.

Both times.

I was afraid you and I
wouldn't want the same thing,

so I didn't tell you.

But I promise,

I won't keep anything
from you again.

That covers the future,
but what about right now?

Are there any other secrets
you're keeping from me?

-Suspicious much?
-You keep giving me
reasons to be.

Okay, we had
a bit of a rough start.

I was hazing you.

I'm not pledging a frat.

I know, but you're new
to Robbery/Homicide.

Had to put you
through the paces,

see what you're made of.

Did I pass your test?

Yeah,

you, uh, managed
to put up with me

and still do your job.

You proved you were cool.

Now you get to see a kinder,

more gentler Marcel.

Really?

You gonna be shocked

at what a sweetheart
I actually am.

You know what, Marcel?

Everything I'm hearing
sounds like bull,

so how about you keep it real

and let me know
what's really going on?

Well, I didn't
want to get into it

this early in our partnership.

Well, we into it now.

Okay, okay.

If you really want to know,

once upon a time,
I used to be just like you.

[scoffs]

Thank you.

You've been the most devoted mom

anyone could ever ask for.

It's you and me
against the world, baby.

Always has been
and always will be.

Well, I guess there was Alan.

Oh, what a poor excuse
for a stepfather he was.

He tried.

My patience.

[chuckles]

But I guess I shouldn't
speak ill of the dead.

The point is,

even when Alan was alive,

you were my top priority.

Thanks.

You're my top priority, too.

-Mmm.
-And that's why

I've been rethinking our plan.

Oh?

Hmm.

Something that might
make this really pop.

In the long run,

I wonder if it isn't better

that we tell Ted
I'm his daughter in private.

And why would I do that?

Because embarrassing him
in public

might make you feel good
short-term,

but does that really
serve our long-term goals?

Of course it does.

He stomped on my heart.

I got pregnant
with Ted's baby, you,

out of love.

And he abandoned us.

Left to go be with
his high-society wife

and her over-privileged family.

Yeah, but
if we expose him publicly,

don't you think that would
make him less inclined

to make things right?
Financially speaking?

Shaming him in public
will force him

to give you your birthright.

He won't be able
to wiggle his way

out of his obligations
this time.

Not again.

Especially with his

judgmental wife and family,

her family, watching.

No. He would do what it takes

to pay just to make
this embarrassment go away.

I'm not sure about that.

[computer chimes]

[phone chimes]

Who's that?

-Nicole.
-[scoffs]

She wants me to go by her house
and make sure the computer

is logged out of
the hospital account.

This is what I'm talking about.

Over-privileged.

There's no way in the world
that woman should have you

working after hours.

I'm her assistant.
That's the kind of job it is.

Why can't she do it herself?

She's going to be
at a family dinner with Kat.

Oh, at their little
precious country club?

No, actually.

Tonight, they're slumming,

going to that place Uptown.

And in order
for your plan to work,

I need to seem like
the perfect assistant,

so I'm gonna go
and do what Nicole asks.

You're right. You need to go.

But you need to accept

that I'm right about blowing
Ted and Nicole out of the water

at their anniversary party.

We were best friends, Naomi.

I thought I knew you.

That's rich.

I thought I knew you.

Are you so bitter
that you can't see

that these women...

-My clients.
-...are disgruntled

former employees
looking for a payout?

You know,
I really don't like women

who don't support other women.

Don't you care

-that they were harassed?
-By Mike?

I never had a problem with him.

Maybe because you were busy
sleeping with the boss.

This isn't about your experience

at work, anyway.
It's about theirs.

Your anger at Bill
is clouding your judgment.

Oh, it's like that?

You're gonna
psychoanalyze me now?

I don't have to.

I know you...

better than you want to admit.

Look, Bill and I
have a great life.

But if I'm honest,

my only regret
is that you're not in it.

You're the sister I never had.

We weren't sisters.

I have a sister, Chelsea.

And that sister is now suffering

because you broke
her parents' marriage up.

But you can't say
our friendship wasn't real.

Oh, our friendship
was an illusion

that you created
to get next to my dad.

It wasn't premeditated.

I fell in love.

"Oh, I fell in love.
It's not my fault."

Are you really going with that?

You know what?
In some ways,

I'm more angry with you
than my dad.

He betrayed my mom, but you?

You betrayed me.

I always wonder what
my life would be like

if I hadn't met Bill.

We need to move
beyond Bill, Dani.

If you ask me,
he is the root of all of this.

No kidding.

If only
he hadn't been so charming.

And handsome. And charismatic.

One kiss, I was addicted.

That's exactly it, Dani.
You're an addict.

What? It's a figure of speech.

There is tons
of scholarship out there

about love addiction.
It's called codependence.

It has all the same hallmarks
as any other addiction.

Such as?

Intense cravings
like withdrawal.

Check.

As horrible as he's been,

I can't stop thinking about him.

-Tolerance for abuse.
-Check again.

Loss of control.

Like sh**ting up a wedding?

Yes.

And neglecting every other

part of your life
that's important.

When was the last time
you had a dream

that made you happy?

And please,
do not say with Bill.

But it was with Bill.

He laid out
this big plan for our lives.

He was going
to leave the D.A.'s office

and found his law firm.

I'd stop modeling
and help him. I promised

to leverage all of my contacts

so that he could
get his firm up and running.

I also promised to be the
perfect wife and perfect mother.

It didn't occur to you
to say no?

Of course not.

I was all in
on the whole picture

until he left.

I hope you hear yourself.

Bill dragged you down.

He used you
until you weren't the person

he fell in love with anymore,

and then he dumped you
for a newer model.

That is low.

You know, I was sitting here,
remembering what it was like

when I used to be able
to stop a man in his tracks.

I know that's shallow, but--

But it's real, Dani.

You are still stunning.

Your beauty, your aesthetics,

it's a big part of who you are.

So why don't you get props
from where it feels good?

How?

Meet some decent men.

Try dating, and you might
see how many other men

are out there
who would love to be with you.

Come on, Eva.
I know you took the bait.

♪ ♪

Kat Richardson.

I'm sorry, have we met?

My name is Anna.

I see.

And you're over here because?

We have a mutual acquaintance.

Who?

Your mother's assistant.

-You know Laura Peterson?
-No, dear.

I'm talking about Eva Thomas.

LESLIE:
Now that you've seen King Ted

and Queen Nicole's way of life,

you know you've been cheated

out of what his other kids have.

It's what you've deserved
this whole time.

What are you doing?

Anna, I'm not sure why
you want to talk to me

about my mom's
personal assistant.

That's too many degrees
of separation.

But is it?

I was a good friend
of Eva's mom.

She passed away.

I've known Eva since
she was a little bitty thing.

Still, I think
it's inappropriate for me

to discuss my mother's employee
with a stranger.

I wouldn't normally
be so forward,

but I feel like it's destiny

that you and I crossed paths.

Destiny?

Yes. Your mother is her boss,

and I'm like a mother to her,

and here we are. Destiny, see?

Uh, not really.

I'm a businesswoman,
no nonsense,

two feet on the ground.

Nothing is preordained.
It's all hard work.

-Hard work?
-Mm-hmm.

This is what I mean.

Eva confided in me
that she's unhappy at her job.

Well, if that's true,

nothing is stopping her
from quitting.

Technically, she's a temp.

She doesn't even need
to put in two weeks' notice.

[Leslie laughs]

What I mean is,

Eva enjoys the job itself.

She even told me that she thinks

it's interesting and fulfilling.

Then what's her problem?

She thinks you hate her.

I can't imagine why. [chuckles]

So I thought
I would be a peacemaker

between the two of you.

Is there anything,
in your opinion,

that I can do
to smooth things over?

Oh, hey, Ted. Sorry.

Um, Nicole asked me to sign
her out of her hospital email,

and I just stopped because
this candlestick was at the end

of the mantle,
and Nicole usually keeps it

with the other one.

Oh. The housekeeper
probably moved it

when she was cleaning.

No worries. Always happens.

But that's not your job.

I don't need you around here,
tidying things up.

Well, you and Nicole
have been so kind to me.

It makes me want
to go above and beyond.

Everyone in the family loves

the amazing job
that you're doing around here.

Everybody but Kat, maybe.

Look, I've tried to be friendly,
but it's like she despises me.

She's still upset about

that dress,
and that was Nicole's idea.

[sighs] And I tried
to explain that,

but it's like
she wasn't buying it at all.

So, things have gotten worse,
not better.

Yeah, and I've tried
to bend over backwards

to be friends with her.
I do not know what else to do.

Kat's an amazing woman,

but it takes her a while
to open up to outsiders.

Is that what I am? An outsider?

Not to Nicole, not to me.

But you have to understand
that she wasn't here

to witness the amazing job
that you did on her mom's event.

Right. She's an entrepreneur,

had a business meeting.

Yeah, Kat's very busy.

She has a side gig
that she's doing with Chelsea

and helping me
to manage my practice.

Let's just say
that she's overworked

and overprotective
of our family.

Must be nice to have a family
to feel that way about.

[chuckles] We've spoiled her.

We've always given her
everything that she wants.

Kat is definitely
a daddy's girl.

[scoffs] Just like me.

Right.

You wound me.

I'm protecting you.

I was a wide-eyed rookie once,

aching to be top cop.

I'm new to this department,
not the force.

I'm not a rookie,
I'm just not you.

I'm giving you some advice here.

Ah, there he is.

I'm sorry. My bad.

Jekyll and Hyde much?

I'm saying, you be you.

You want to protect the public,

get the bad guys?

Don't ever settle
or look the other way.

Like you did when
Joey Armstrong took that payoff?

Don't be me.

Be better.

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

Smitty, I am not keeping
anything else from you, I swear.

Okay.

But I need you to get
that it is not cool

for you to unilaterally decide

that I shouldn't take that job.

I get it. I do.

And while I think
that you understand

the importance
of media in general,

I don't think you understand

the importance of journalism
to me personally.

-I know.
-I don't think you do.

Otherwise, you would have
never taken for granted

that I would just
give up my career

when we become parents.

You did that voluntarily.

I thought it was just temporary.

I always thought
that when our kids

went back to high school,

I would jump back in the saddle,

but for some reason,
that never happened.

You were the primary caregiver.

Not by choice.

By default.

But you're better at it than me.

Because I put in the time.

Okay.

Yeah, you do.

But I am every bit as
concerned about them as you are.

It's hard enough
being a teenager,

but I'm afraid of any change

to the stability of their lives.

And yes,
you provide the stability.

It's gonna mess things up.

Isn't you running for president

gonna be a harder adjustment
than me going back to work

at a job that I can
basically do from home?

I guess, if it actually happens.

If you want
something to happen, Martin,

it happens.

Then we have
to make sure to keep Samantha

and Tyrell from the fray.

Protect them at all costs.

Family first.

Eva's job, Anna,
is to assist my mother,

not be my bestie. [scoffs]

Sounds to me like she has
her priorities messed up.

You're taking this
the wrong way.

I'm trying to figure out
what's going on.

And...

if Eva is being
oversensitive or paranoid.

Because of her sad childhood.

But then I thought,
everyone likes Eva.

That may be true
in her personal life,

but she's out of her element

working as an assistant
to someone

as high-profile as my mother.

She doesn't have
any prior experience,

so, yeah,
it has been a bit awkward.

All I'm saying is

that if you feel
Eva isn't up to speed,

with you knowing what it's like
to have a new job,

why not help her?

You'd be helping
your mother out, too.

But you're choosing not to.

Why is that?

You've got this all wrong.

Eva is the problem, not me.

EVA:
I see why Kat

has a hard time getting me.

You do?

Sure. I didn't grow up in a
house like this, for one thing.

We're really different.

It doesn't mean
that you're less than.

Only to you, maybe.

It means that you're self-made.

It means
you're resourceful and driven.

That's how you see me?

Absolutely.

I wish Kat saw me that way.

[sighs]

We haven't exposed Kat
to much of the world

outside of Fairmont Crest.

I can't believe
you're sort of taking my side.

No, I'm not taking sides.

I just want everybody to chill.

I want my home
to be a sanctuary.

You know what?

I'm gonna meet Kat
and Nicole for dinner.

Maybe I'll talk to her
about it then.

No, no, no, no. Please don't.

Look, she'll know
we've been talking

and she'll accuse me of
turning her father against her.

That is the last thing I want.

Okay.

I'll keep this between us.

Thank you.

Friends?

Yeah.

[both chuckling]

[sighs]

Date?

What, like
find myself a vacay bae?

I get my needs met.

I was thinking of something
a little more respectful.

I am so not ready for that.

Then maybe
you should date yourself.

Date myself?
What does that even mean?

It means figure out
what makes you happy.

Rather than being in the pits,

this time of your life
could be really fulfilling.

Aren't you little
Miss Glass Half Full?

I mean it, Dani.
Your kids are grown.

You don't owe anything
to anyone.

You can draw your own map.
Do Dani.

And who is this Dani you see
in your magic Nicole ball?

An ex-model crying
over a broken photo?

Or-or a crazy woman
who shot up the flowers

and vases
at her ex-husband's wedding?

Maybe it's the Dani
that did a spectacular job

hosting my tribute event.

All of those Danis are you.

I'm gonna keep it real.

Every single one of those Danis

wants her husband back.

-Oh, Sissy...
-I know.

I know,
Bill is the scum of the earth,

but the hold he has on me
is like...

-A black hole.
-Maybe,

but he's my black hole.

I have loved him for so long,

I don't know anything else.

He is my first, my last,

and my only love.

I didn't betray you, Naomi.

Our friendship
was the real deal.

I couldn't help
falling in love with Bill.

Like you had no choice?

I've known you a long time.

Besides, what did it matter
if you fell in love?

What about
doing the right thing, huh?

My dad was married.

You could have kept
your drawers on.

Oh, you sure love
passing judgment.

I'm a home-wrecker.

Bill subverts the law
to get his clients off the hook,

but you're the one
playing fast and loose

with the law, bringing this

frivolous suit so you can
pursue your vendetta

against your dad for the crime
of falling in love with me.

I didn't think
you were this petty.

[scoffs] I'm just meeting my dad
where he is.

In the sewer with you.

But make no mistake,

our suit is not frivolous.

You want to play it this way?

Fine,

but you won't win this.

Don't start nothing

won't be nothing.

But there is something, Hayley.

Sexual harassment
and discrimination.

The law offices
of Bill Hamilton, Esquire,

will crush you in court.

And when we win,

we will sue you
for attorney fees.

We'll bankrupt
that tiny little firm

and put you
dead out of business.

What problems could a sweet girl

like Eva possibly cause?

Well, she always has an excuse
for being overly involved

in my parents' lives,
for one thing.

What's going on
between Eva and your parents?

What kind of question is that?

A logical one.

Since you're saying
she's over-involved,

I'm asking for an example.

Okay.

One day, she popped up
in my mother's office

at the hospital
when she was supposed to be

working at my mom's house.

She's always
got her hands in things

that are outside of her duties.

Not that it's
any of your business.

She's probably being diligent.

Aren't you,

when you're managing
your father's office?

Sure, but...

this is different.

Anyway, time will tell

if I'm right about this.

Meanwhile, can you get
a message to Eva for me?

Sure.

If Eva really wants
to get along better with me,

she'll respect
the boundaries of her job

and stop crossing so many lines.

LESLIE:
Mm.

You talked to him, didn't you?

-Who about what?
-Marcel.

You told him to take it easy
on me,

'cause he went from being a jerk
to bringing me coffee

and telling me to be true
to my ideals.

He doesn't even talk like that.

Hmm. Wasn't me.

Pops, out of respect,

tell me the truth.

-Why would I lie?
-To protect me.

But I could
fight my own battles.

Maybe, but don't fight this one.

I don't understand.

There's nothing to understand.

Leave it alone or
I'll assign you a new partner.

Do you know why
I like journalism?

It is one of the only ways

to really speak truth to power,
and I can't wait

to just roll up my sleeves

and start digging in
on a good story.

Here's a little
thought experiment.

What if you announce that
you're gonna run for president

and my editor assigns me
to investigate you?

[chuckles]
It wouldn't happen.

It's a conflict of interest.

And if my campaign takes off,

you might be reassigned
to restaurant reviews.

Yeah, heaven help me.

Unless it's Orphey Gene's,
of course.

Besides, you already know
everything there is to know

about my past.

Yeah, probably.

But do not give me
or anyone else

a reason to start digging.

[chuckles]

NICOLE:
It's possible to get
back out there again, Dani.

What's the point?
I feel what I feel.

-And until that changes--
-It's valid to

feel what you feel.

Emotions just don't
go away overnight,

and that's okay.

But sometimes,
exploring those feelings

and understanding them better,
it can open the door to change.

You sound like
such a psychiatrist right now.

Okay, let's roll with that.

Indulge me. For a moment,
let me be your therapist.

Oh, Nicole.

For a role-play.

It'll be fun.

You be you, and I'll be a date.

This is dumb.

How many dumb things have I done

to make you happy?

And do you honestly think
that Bill, of all people,

is worth holding on
to all this pain for?

No, but--

Then let's pretend
we're on a date.

This is why
I always wanted a brother.

A brother would pop a brew

and tell you
that you're on your own.

Exactly. He would
let me wallow in peace.

Dani...

Fine, but
I'm drinking a martini.

[clears throat]

Hi. Dani Dupree, right?

You're my online date.

What are you drinking?

Vodka and sadness.

Okay, I see we have
our work cut out for us.

Let me ask you
an honest question.

Do you really love Bill,
or do you just want him back

because you can't have him?

Why would you ask me that?

Because I've seen you do it
time and time again.

You go after something
to show yourself,

and the world,
that you can get it.

And then you decide
you don't want it anymore.

It's a sport for you.

You're saying I'm a tease?

I'm saying you need
to dig deep inside

and ask yourself,

could you really
be with Bill again

after the horrible way
he treated you?

When I think about Bill,
I don't remember the bad times.

Selective amnesia.

Let me remind you.

He screwed Hayley,
threw her in your face,

and rejected you.

Could you really
let Bill back into your life,

much less your bed?

In a heartbeat.

Like you said, I'm an addict.

I tried to go cold turkey,
but I still have cravings.

I don't think
I'll ever get over him.

That makes me really sad.

It makes me even sadder.

You think your empty threats
got me quaking in my boots?

HAYLEY:
If you were smart, you would be.

Oh, you don't want to
compare your IQ to mine, Hayley.

Mm-mm. The facts are on my side.

Sexual harassment
in the workplace is ill*gal.

The appropriate remedy
to a civil offense is a lawsuit.

My clients have every right

to take Mike Davis,
their harasser,

to court,

along with the firm
that employs him.

We will prevail.

You know,
I came to talk to you

out of respect
for the friendship we had.

But if you are determined

to go after the law firm...

the gloves are coming off.

I will stand beside Bill,

and we will take you down.

Bring it on.

Hey, Samantha.

How was school?

Fine.

That's it?

Yeah, it was school.

Where's Tyrell?

Uh, he just went to bed
a few minutes ago.

I'll go up and
say good night to him.

No, no. No, you can't.
You can't do that.

Yeah, I think we can.

What's going on with you?

Don't be mad at her.

She's got my back.

♪ ♪

[sniffles]

I thought I'd be able
to help a friend's daughter out,

but clearly,
you're too close-minded

to give Eva a chance.

Your loss.

Anna, you seem genuinely
caring and well meaning.

Well, thank you.
I hoped you'd see me that way.

But I think Eva got over on you.

You should
be careful around her.

There's no point in
continuing this conversation.

I couldn't agree more.

So now you're
going after my daughter?