01x05 - Vodnik

[bunniefuu]

[man 1] My grandfather told me
to stay away from the lake.

The vodnik lived there
and it was his lake.

The vodnik began to stalk the children.

But now it wasn't only by the lake.

Could be a horse trough,

a rain barrel...

[whimpers]

Or the smallest puddle.

[man 2] Albin!

- Albin! Albin!
- Albin, come home!

- Where are you, Albin?
- [woman] Over here! He's here!

[man 1]
The vodnik always sends them back,

but without their souls.

The vodnik is like a plague now,

if plagues were angry and evil.

That's horrible.

"Horrible" does not encompass the, um...

horror of the situation.

Scary.

We're here...

I mean, I'm here to stop this monster.

[chuckles]

What will you do?

A monster took my town. You'd be surprised
how focused I am on stopping him.

Legends say the only way
to stop the vodnik

is to go to the lake
and challenge him to wrestle

while wearing a bracelet of river moss.

Oh, please. River moss?

- That seems dubious at best.
- I think it depends on the type of moss.

I've got this.

Meaning,
I've got the perfect moss for the job.

Thank you. You've been very helpful.

Good luck, my boy. Ha, ha.

We've got one chance at this.
Let's not waste it.

We're going to need more moss, Alebrije.

Aye, aye!

Young fools.

Sometimes it's too easy.

[chuckles]

Lord Quetzalcoatl,

your servant bows before you
and awaits your command.

See that you do, Baba Yaga.

Tell me of your progress.

Your plan moves forward.

The other creatures of legend obey.

They use their powers
stirring the ley lines,

while knowing nothing of your true plans.

And the boy who interfered with me?

He will pay.

The vodnik will rip his soul
from his body.

I have made sure of it.

[girl] Bad cell reception, witchy Poo?

Huh?

- We got you.
- Heh.

[speaks in foreign language]

Heh, whomp, whomp.

A witch trap?

Yes, a witch trap, Baba Yaga.

Grab her!

[grunts]

I do prefer the Latin for "witch trap,"
pythonissam captionem.

Sounds like we're catching a slimy snake.

We are. Isn't that right, Booger Yogurt?
Or whatever your name is.

You'll pay for this.
No one binds Booger Yago.

I mean Baba Yaga. No one!

No one but Quetzalcoatl.
The Brotherhood Book mentioned that, too.

Once we knew what to look for,
namely, this bracelet,

we used a spell to find
and get into your stinky caldron house.

Which is why I always smelled soup
when you were around.

Also, you gonna eat all that?

It was then a simple matter of translating
and casting the spells to ensnare you.

So, that's that, Baba Ganoush.

You think so?

Kings and queens have groveled
at my feet!

- Egad. She's loose.
- I think I'll take my soup to go.

I will burn you to husks!

Run for your lives.

- Go! What are you waiting for?
- If she could do that, she would have.

- This is a trick.
- You'll beg me for death.

Leave now or face your doom.

You wanna play? I'll play.

[gasps] Willful brat!

That was 800 years old

from a country that no longer exists!

So, one of a kind.

How about this one?

That's what I thought.
Now, tell us everything we need to know

to stop Quetzalcoatl and save my home,
along with all the people there.

[laughs]

That's the funniest thing
I've heard in a century, boy.

How...? I have to know.

How do you think you could ever
get me to do that?

Might as well try and train pigs to dance.

With a little thing
called the Veritas potion.

So, we just have to train
one evil piggy to dance, Baba Booey.

These are not getting old.

I like when we use the magic cookbook.
It smells like rainbows.

What?

Even if you could brew the potion,
where will you get the ingredients?

Oh, gee, let me think.

We happen to be standing

in one of the best stocked
magical apothecaries in the known world.

How we doing, Don Andres?

You have ingredients for almost any spell.

Mugwort is here, sinsalko nut there,

plenty of trizzel frond,
bayarka bark, and...

Oh, dear.

Leo, she doesn't have enough
grimsword root.

[sniffs]

Ah, smells tickly.

Like the one under a rock on the way here.

Quiet, you fool!

No, you shut up, Baba O'Reilly.

Oh.

You know, I heard it right when I said it.

- I'll stop.
- You smelled it under the ground?

You can do that?

You'd be surprised what I can smell.
Surprised and embarrassed.

- Hm?
- Problem solved.

- Go. Go!
- Wait. No.

You can't send him.

I mean, come on. He's a blockhead.

- I say that with love.
- Love taken.

I know exactly where it was.

I mean, I know exactly where it is,
and was.

If it's where it were. Was?

Be right back.

Like I said, we got you.

We'll see whose got who, boy.

[sniffing]

No. Wait.

[laughs]

- [voice] Help me.
- Huh?

[voice whimpering]

[voice] I'm trapped in here.

Help.

Hello?

- [voice] Help me.
- Is someone there?

[voice] I'm trapped in here.

Help.

Hm?

Yes, chop that into pieces
no bigger than a mole-rat's ear.

Huh?

The point is,
make sure the pieces are small.

Ah.

Your friend has been gone
an awfully long time, hasn't he?

- Maybe we should go look for him.
- No, it's only been a few minutes.

We do our jobs, while he does his.

She's tied up in a witch trap.
I'll go look for him.

Enh, keep watch. Make up more funny names
if you need something to do.

[groans]

[grunting]

How'd you find this place? Build it
yourself or hear about it from a friend?

I have no friends.

Sure you do. I see one behind you.

What's that?

You think Mr. Vodnik should let me go?

Yeah, let him go.

[chuckles]

I don't need friends, fake or otherwise.

I only need to collect souls.

And I am the best at that.

Wow. That's a nice teacup collection.

I'm glad you like it.

Your soul will soon be in this one.

I collect mini-spoons
from the places I visited.

I do like it that my souls do not talk.

Aren't you afraid
of what other people will think?

Stealing's bad enough, but souls? Sheesh.

I take care of my souls! Unlike the people
who get them for nothing.

They soil them as they grow older.
I keep my souls pristine.

- You keep your souls in prison?
- "Pristine," you fool.

Oh, your soul ripping cannot begin
soon enough.

Really, you should let him go.

Look at how handsome he is.

[groans]

Counterclockwise two more times
to make ten.

Let it rest for a bit.

This will give us the most potent form
of the Veritas potion.

So, we can ask three questions
and she has to answer them truthfully?

The book is quite clear.

She will be compelled to answer,
whether she wants to or not.

We'll see.

Yeah, we will see, Witchy Witcherson.

Back on track.

[man] It's time to add the sinsalko nuts.

[both scream]

Carefully add the sinsalko nuts, I said.

Looks okay.

Now, all we need is the last ingredient.

That's it!

Where is he?

Where?

How should I know?

I've been right here all this time.

That's it!

I'm going to find him.

And I told you he's coming back,
so stay here.

[all gasp]

No, no, no.

I told you! This is your fault.

We should've kept going to Japan
to find the Brotherhood.

- That's what Godofredo told us to do.
- This is not my fault!

It's hers and Quetzalcoatl's.

Alebrije, are you okay?

[man] At least he didn't forget
the grimsword root.

You'll pay for this.

We'll banish you to whatever stinking pit
you came from when we're done. I promise.

- Now, what do we do with this?
- Just put it right in.

Are you kidding? You're doing that
when Alebrije is like this?

Alebrije's told us before, he's a magical
creature. He could get better on his own.

We need to help him.
That's what a real friend would do!

I am his friend! Isn't it worse
if he loses his soul for nothing?

- We're doing this to get our home back!
- Leo!

- Oh, not you, too!
- [girl] Behind you!

[Leo screaming]

Quit playing around.

I'm not playing around!

[chuckles]

[groans]

So, Don Andres, what's next?

This plan of yours had better work.

The last step.

"Circle the caldron thrice, clockwise,
tapping the wooden spoon as you go."

You're both idiots.

Cold-hearted idiots.

Well, your science project's ready.

- So now what?
- Potion vials, grab one.

- Why not fill them all?
- You only get to fill one,

no matter how big the caldron.

I'm gonna fix everything. You'll see.

[laughing]

What's so funny, Witch Mountain?

Leo the hero,

thinking he can make everything better.

I will. We will! You're gonna give us
the answers to defeat Quetzalcoatl

and get Alebrije's soul back.

Except that I don't know,
only the vodnik does.

And since you can't make
more Veritas potion

without your friend bringing another root,
you only have one dose.

- She's lying.
- You don't know that.

[Baba Yaga] What's it going to be, boy?

You can get the answers you want from me,

or find out how to save your friend
and the other children from the vodnik,

but there's not enough potion to do both!

[laughing]

[groans]

- Hm.
- [gasps]

You are not going to do that.

Perhaps we should have a fuller discussion
on this matter.

The mission is too important.
I can't let anything stop me.

I won't let you sacrifice our friend
to do that!

[Don Andres] I say,

- I think I've found a solution.
- What is it?

It says here
we can halve the Veritas potion

into two less powerful doses.

If we split it, we can ask
one and a half questions to each of them?

No, you can still ask three questions.

Tell them the rest, conquistador.

But only two of the answers
will be the truth.

One can be a lie, and we won't know which.

- I have an idea!
- I have an idea!

I had it first.

[groans]

I guess all those rumors about
the vodnik being so tough were wrong.

Nothing bad here.

Or maybe the vodnik
is just a big scaredy-cat.

[screams]

This is your new home now.

Or it will be for your soul, anyway.
Ha, ha.

One last meal before my soul is taken,
I guess.

Good thing I went to the market
before you got me.

Best ever.

These are my pretzels now.

They're good, but salty.

Put on a kettle of tea to wash it down.
You'll get nothing and like it.

Ew.

Do you think it's working?

The book said it takes a minute
after drinking the potion.

"The person can become very talkative."

When I was a little girl, I had a doll

and cut off its head to make it pretty.

Definitely working.

We have to make these questions count.
How can we defeat Quetzalcoatl?

You... can never defeat the master
by yourselves.

That wasn't the answer
we were hoping for.

She said we couldn't do it alone.

That may mean we can
if we get the right help.

Unless that was her one lie.

Should I ask the next question?

Yes.

Come on, Old Man!

That did not count! It did not!

Yes it did.

What can help us defeat Quetzalcoatl?

Yggdrasil.

The World's Tree.

[Baba Yaga] Its branches hold secrets
even the serpent fears.

But the way is dangerous.

Great Odin hung from the tree for days...

and he was a god.

Was that the truth?

What does it matter?

Your alebrije will never
get his soul back,

and Leo will lose his, too.

What will you two sad ghosts do then?

[snoring]

I used to be a tinker.

I wanted to help people
with my inventions.

- That sounds normal, and good.
- They didn't deserve my inventions.

Their souls were rotten.

Through dark magic,
I became a collector of souls.

That is my sole purpose and one goal.

[Leo] The mission is too important.
I can't let anything stop me.

[girl] I won't let you sacrifice
our friend to do that.

[Vodnik] But Quetzalcoatl takes so much.

It used to be a little.

Now he wants everything
and leaves me crumbs,

so I must collect more and more.

How do I release the souls you captured?

Take the cups into the water.
Turn them upside down three times.

How do I release the souls you captured?

Smash the cups on a river rock
covered by green moss.

How do I release the souls you captured?

Take the cups into the water,
turn them upside down three times.

[vodnik screams]

[coughing]

Alebrije.

Aw, look everybody, Leo's okay.

You did it, my boy.

Not only that,
but the kids got their souls back.

Looks like you were right, Leo.

No, I wasn't. I can't become
like the monsters we're fighting.

If I ever do, I want you to tell me
in your own loud, annoying way.

Yeah, yeah.
Orders to kick your butt. Check.

I do have to ask. Did you get
what you needed from Baba Yaga?

We are further along than we were,
but not quite where we want to be.

Right now, I wanna be there.
Smells like fun.

We should celebrate whatever victories
we get on the way. If just for a minute.

- What do you think, Leo?
- Well, Baba Yaga's still tied up.

We can make more Veritas potion later

and get more answers
before locking her away.

Indubitably.

[Alebrije] Fun, fun, fun.

[Baba Yaga laughing]