03x13 - Episode 13

[bunniefuu]

I never forget a face and by the
look on hers when she saw mine...

neither does she.

It's her all right.

Your proposed new training centre? I've
done a bid for it, my bid was rejected.

You need to talk to the committee.
I can't help you.

Yes, you can, and you will.

You know what, I think "Rachel" really suits
you, so get on the phone to your friend

and get my bid reinstated, otherwise this
lot are going to find out who you really are.

Where's this coming from?

Well, there's a queue for your time.

I haven't earned the right to be
at the front of it. You ending it?

Why don't we just take things slow?

Now that I am back in the running,

I need you to make sure
I win that contract.

You can do that for me,
can't you, "Amanda"?

PHONE BLEEPS

SHOUTING

Come here!
I'll teach you to call me stupid.

Shut it, you lot! Hey!

Paul!

What's going on? Erm, nothing, Miss.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

I see everyone got dressed up, then.

There's no point for me, is there?

I'm not wearing my best clothes just so
some old fart can dribble all down them.

You'll be lucky if
it's just dribble!

The museum's providing
us with uniforms.

Just have to wear smart shoes,
they said.

So why didn't you, then?

You cheeky sod!

You all right, Chlo?
Looking forward to it?

A week cleaning the salon floor?

I can't wait.

Ah, you're wrong, man,
this is the business!

We're well up for this, aren't we, Cel?
Yeah. Hot Spot Travel, here we come!

"Donte Charles, making the holiday
of your dreams a reality."

Hiya, just wanted to wish you luck.

Better than a day stuck
in this dump, hey?

Anywhere is better than listening
to Celine and Donte

chat about countries
they've never even been to.

Better go. See you later.

Morning! Morning, Sir.

Listen up, everyone.

I know you're all keen to get to your
placements, so I won't keep you long.

Just remember,
this is your first step to work.

It's not just dressing up pretending
to be someone else for a week.

It's an opportunity. It'll be
as good or as bad as you make it.

Don't forget this is your future!

Good luck.

God, I hope not!

Mopping up pensioners'
wee for the rest of my life!

KNOCK AT DOOR

Stuart Hordley's here. Really?!

I thought it was odd.
[Shall I send him away?]

Doesn't seem right, not today!

No, you know what, it's probably
just some technical thing.

Send him in, it's fine. OK.

Hi.

I'm glad I caught you before the bid
meeting. One last chance to twist the knife?

Come on, don't be so melodramatic!

I just wanted to make sure that

we're both singing from the same

hymn sheet.

I don't have a choice.
Of course you do!

You can follow your conscience
and back whichever bid you like,

but, of course, if you do,
I'll have to follow my conscience

and tell everyone that their beloved head
teacher is not quite who she says she is.

It's not easy, keeping a secret
like that, is it?

Do you know the ironic thing is, I
would've probably backed your bid anyway.

Without all this.

There you go, then!
It's no big deal. Everyone's happy.

MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT

Mr Dundas?

I'm Janeece Bryant
from Waterloo Road.

Oh, I love dinosaurs,
they're amazing.

I've watched Jurassic Park
like a million times.

I get mixed up with the names so if
you've got a factsheet, that's ace.

I don't want kids getting confused
cos education's dead important.

If you've quite finished. Absolutely!

Then we can begin.

It's gonna be brilliant!

Right, the nearest loos are there,

the fire exits are there and there.

And visitors are not allowed
to touch the exhibits.

OK.

That's it.

What? That's what we do,

what you'll be doing, any road.

Sit here, shut up,
stop the punters touching stuff.

You're having a laugh? This is
supposed to be work-related learning!

What did you think you'd be doing?

Excavating fossils?

There you go. You're a natural!

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

You off? Yeah. I'm late already!

We might have a problem
with the Lessons for Life group.

I've just seen them being taunted by
other kids. Really?

Aren't they big enough
to look after themselves?

- That's hardly the point! We wouldn't tolerate it with anyone else.
- Shall we set up a support group?

Let them share? I just want it
sorted! I want these kids to get

the same as everybody else.

If you can't handle it,
I'll sort it when I'm back.

OK, leave it with me.
Are you all right?

Sorry. It's just this building
process is really getting me down.

We've convinced the LEA we need it,
it doesn't matter who builds it.

I've had Stuart Hordley knocking
on my door already this morning.

That's no bad thing. At least
he's keen. His bid is pretty good.

There you go, see. Nice bloke, too.
He seems really switched on.

Well, let's hope the LEA agree, eh?

Oh, here we go.
The wanderer returns!

Bonjour, tout le monde!
Et comment allez-vous?

Someone's had a good time.

Good, Eddie, but busy.

Captains of industry, cultural
ambassadors, educationalists,

all of them very interested
in our proposals.

Very interested, as opposed to signed
on the dotted line? We'll have to see.

- There was one of them, Claude from the Cultural
Exchange Commission, - he is as good as in the bag.

Handsome devil, to boot. I wouldn't be surprised if a
hefty cheque isn't winging its way to us as we speak.

Well, I hope so, given the cost of the
trip. Oh, talking of which, my expenses.

Well, I can't just rely
on my feminine wiles,

even though they have served me well
up to this point,

if the trip's anything to go by.

Anyway, I shall be in my office
if you need me.

"My office?"

Hope she doesn't mean pastoral care
or she's in for a bit of a shock.

- Am I wrong to worry that Steph sees
fundraising as - a form of speed dating?

I wonder if this guy
Claude actually exists.

Well, she's finally found
something she can put her back into.

- SHE SNIGGERS - Eddie!

I've really got to go. I feel like getting
in that car and just keep on driving.

You'll be fine. If you don't go,
they'll choose the cheapest option

and we'll end up with a shed!
Go on! We'll hold the fort.

Hey.

You OK? Yeah. Why?

Do I look awful or something?

No, course not!

You don't need to keep
looking out for me.

I thought that's what friends did?

Yeah, yeah, it is.

Well, if you want to help me, you
could fill in for me this morning.

That good? Just kicking off with
Grantly and The Comedy of Errors.

A barrel of laughs.

Yeah, I haven't finished reading it.

Um, I know, I'm just snowed under
at the moment.

What with Karla's
GCSEs and the admin...

Besides, Grantly acts like I'm
not there, so what's the point?

Well, fair enough.
It's not like you have to teach it.

No, no, it isn't.

What I meant is, I mean,
you're there to support Karla,

you don't have to know absolutely
everything about it, do you?

Well, in that case, I'm glad
I didn't finishing reading it!

Anyway, aren't you supposed
to be being nice to me?

Us being friends and all that?

Mmm, if you insist.

Well, you can start by making
me another cup of coffee.

I ought to at least be awake.

♪ You tell me you want me
and then we both get into a fight

♪ You lay there complaining
and I know I won't sleep tonight

♪ You told me that you've been here
once before

♪ You said I made you
walk into a door

♪ But I can't control myself,
you're making such a fool of me

♪ Now I've decided we're just friends

♪ But I can't control myself,
you're making such a fool of me

♪ Now I've decided
we're just friends. ♪

Can you not touch
the exhibits, please!

I said, "please!"

Sod it!

Touch 'em all you
want for all I care!

♪ But we know it's only a game

♪ You tell me we'll make it

♪ but I know it won't be the same. ♪

They said I'd find you here.
Why aren't you at your post?

- It's rubbish! I'm into dinosaurs and all I've
done is sit down - till my arse went bumph.

I told you what you'd be doing.

There's plenty of people would
k*ll for a cushy job like this,

but oh, no, not you. You're
obviously destined for greatness[!]

Oh, sod off!

BANGING

[ Let me out!

[ Oi!

[ Somebody!

BANGING CONTINUES

[ Let me out!

STEPH SPEAKS FRENCH

I wasn't on holiday, I mean, the
wining and dining might look like fun,

but actually it was quite punishing.
Try doing Shakespeare with this lot.

Yeah, well sadly the rewards
of teaching at the chalkface

will soon be nothing but a distant
memory for me. It's a shame, really.

Pressing administrative issues?

Conferring with a colleague.

Could it not wait till break?

LAUGHTER

I presume the laughter is because you have finally
understood the nuances of Shakespearean comedy?

No, Sir, it's because you
got told off by Mr Lawson.

LAUGHTER

Er, Ms Shackleton, you're here
to help Karla, not laugh at her.

Or perhaps you would like to take
the class and give us the benefit

of your expert opinion
on The Comedy Of Errors.

Well, erm...

it's a comedy.

You don't say[!]

And it's about these
people who, erm...

who pretend to be
someone else and...

These people?

- She hasn't finished reading it yet.
- Karla!

You said you didn't have time.
You told me.

Oh dear, oh dear, I don't know.
Thank you.

Yes.

At this rate we will need
assistants for the assistant.

Bonjour.

Er, Steph?

This is Pastoral Care. Yeah.

Well, that's me!

Temporarily. Come on, Tom.

I'm sure you can work around
little old me?

Well, it's not ideal. I'll manage.

The modern Finance Director
enjoys a nomadic existence,

living out of a suitcase, wi-fi this, Bluetooth
that, catching up on sleep in Business Class.

It's a tough life.

It is, Tom, it is.

But for someone like me, it's better than
being in the confines of Waterloo Road.

Some of us are meant to
roam the world and others,

others are happier at home.

HE SIGHS

There's no point us hanging about.

I suggest we make a start and Ms Mason
will have to catch up as best she can.

BELLS RING

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hi, Eddie.

Oh, she what?

No, let me deal with Janeece.

I'll speak to you later.

Janeece!

Where the hell are you going?

Oh, Miss, it's not my fault.

All they wanted me to do
was sit on a bloody chair.

Look, I may just be
a classroom assistant,

but I will not be spoken to like
that in front of the children.

You undermined my authority
during my lesson.

I simply made you aware of it.

Try to be more professional
and we won't have a problem.

You're an assistant, assist!

Don't hinder.

Yo, Paul,
get those posters down, man.

Stop calling us thickos
or I will smack you.

Do you think that's funny,
do you think that's funny?

- Stop putting flyers up about me.
- Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you're
talking to at all? Oi, you lot!

What do you think you're doing?

Nothing. Show him them.

It's you lot that's done this,
putting us in the sub-normal group.

They've labelled us "divs". I might
as well tattoo it on my forehead!

"Spaz squad", "ret*rds United".

Even all the little
kids are calling us it.

How old are you, Paul?

This can't be the first time
you've been called names.

OK, it's not right, but that's
no excuse to behave like a thug.

So, we should leave it to you?
Cos I can't see you stopping it.

Well, we will. Just trust us.

He said I was useless
and I'd never amount to anything!

Well, you just about proved
him right, haven't you?

At school, you can
get away with a lot.

Outside, you've just got to grow up
and be responsible.

Are you saying this is my fault?

Look, work is not going to be fair.

Some of it'll be boring,
some of it will be hard

and you'll meet people who'll think the worst of
you and if you let them write you off, they will.

So you want me to go and
apologise to Mr Dumb-Arse?

You'd better believe it!

Although I don't think they'll want
to see you for some time

and I won't beg them
to change their mind

as it took a lot of pleading
to get you in in the first place.

But, Miss, this is my future.

Well, prove to me that you're
serious about that. I am!

OK, OK, well we will
go back to square one.

You can join Maxine at Kirby Mills.
Oh, you're kidding! Is there nothing else?

There was somewhere else,
Janeece, and you blew it.

MOBILE RINGS

Yes, hello. Yes, I know!
I've been unavoidably detained.

Urgent school business.

I'm sorry, I will get there
as soon as I can, thank you.

What's the point?

I might as well wag off school
for all the good it's worth.

You will not! You've embarrassed
us all enough for one day.

- I'll drive you there myself if that's what it's going to take.
- Put your seat belt on.

It's always a risk with
special ability groups.

The kids feel stigmatised.

I think our kids can
look after themselves.

It's more, we need to do something
to redress the balance.

Show 'em we're on their side.

Give them something, then.

What, like a cuddly toy or
a badge saying, "I'm special."

Responsibility,
a role within the school.

Like prefects? Had 'em in my school.

Are you serious?!

Give that lot power?

Well, that's just it, though.

If you want to give them something,
give them trust and it's up to them

what they do with it.

You can get changed in here. Ugh!

It's minging, it smells
like someone's died in here!

Yeah, someone probably did.

Happens all the time. Some old guy
went this morning, apparently.

I heard that there's this one corridor
where they put all the mental ones,

and they're like zombies and they
have to tie 'em to the bed.

One of the cleaners said you can
hear the moaning down the air vents.

It sounds dead spooky.

Well, quick as you can,
you're already late.

I'm not late, I wasn't meant
to be here.

Oh, too good for us, are you?

If I had my way, they wouldn't let
kids from your place in here,

so that's all of us
unhappy, isn't it?

Anyhow, I've two support staff off
sick, so today you're cleaners. OK?

How is that learning anything?

I am so sorry I'm late.

Must've been very important.

After all, this is the single largest
capital project your school has ever seen.

I was helping a student in crisis.

How very noble.

No, not noble,
it's what you pay me for.

Well, we're all busy people,
so why don't we crack on?

We haven't the time to recap
for your benefit, Miss Mason,

but I'm sure playing catch-up shouldn't
be a problem for a woman of your talents.

Right, next up, and I think for
many of us, the clear front-runner

the bid from Ladmore Construction.

Take special care with that one.

You don't want to do it like that.

Thanks, but I have done this before.

It's just she had a bit of an acc...

..accident.

I did try to warn you.

Sod off, you stupid old cow!

Sir?

Sorry. No facial piercings allowed,
I'm afraid.

Oi! No chewing gum indoors, yeah?

I ain't got any. Don't lie to me,
I know you have, hand it over.

Lads!

I don't want any of that. You're here
to enforce the rules, not to break 'em.

Da Enforcers!

Whilst all the bids have something
to commend them, for us,

the Hordley bid stands out.

It's modern, it's energy-efficient and it
best matches our key performance indicators.

Yeah, well it would
have to, at that price!

I mean, I can see why
Ms Mason likes it.

It's got all these fancy nick-nacks
and promises everything under the sun,

but a lot of it
simply doesn't add up.

I mean, who are
Hordley Construction, anyway?

We've never used them before. Can
anyone here vouch for them?

ALL: No.

We have to deliver best value and
the other bids do the same for less.

The Ladmore bid, for example, now
that's coming in at half a million cheaper

and that from a firm that this LEA has
had a long-standing relationship with.

In fact, if it's a straight choice
between Hordley and Ladmore, then,

well, we could save ourselves

a lot of time and make the decision
right now.

We all know that Ladmore
is the right choice.

What you doing?

As little as possible.

That Linda's on the prowl.

Oh, what's she gonna do? Sack me?

Oh, ya little bugger!

Eh!

Come and give us a hand.

Well, in that case, I'll just have
to call one of the staff.

I'm sure they'll be able
to find you something to do.

All right.

It's not...
it's not getting the interweb.

It's not even plugged in.

There you are, you see? You are
good for something, after all!

What are you doing? My friend
wants me to read her website.

Read?

You know?

Make sense of words and letters?

I know your generation struggle with
that sort of thing, but still...

You're a mouthy little
cow, you, aren't you?

Takes one to know one.

Give it here.

Memories of the Land Army.
Ah, so you can read then?

What's the Land Army?
You just don't know anything.

Well, this is going to be your
lucky day.

Erm, excuse me.

I would feel much more comfortable
if we stuck to the agreed agenda.

I'm just trying to speed things
along what with the delay and all.

I completely take on board
issues of cost and accountability,

but we need to remember
what this building is.

This may be just a set of
specs and a price tag to you,

but it's me and my staff who are
going to have to make this building work

and it's our students whose lives
will be shaped by it.

If it doesn't fulfil our needs,
then it won't fulfil its purpose.

MURMURS OF AGREEMENT

Right, well,
thank you for that, Ms Mason.

And, as we're sticking
to the agreed agenda,

that'll make it time for lunch.

Buy you lunch?

You shouldn't be here.

Well, we all do things we shouldn't.

Jump in.

Being a teaching assistant
round here

is like having a huge
sign on your back saying, "Kick me!"

Come on, it's just Grantly.

Oh, that's easy for you to say, because
he wouldn't dare talk to you like that

and I think I'd make a much
better teacher than him.

I'm sure you would,
just leave it for now, eh?

Don't get sucked into a feud with
him. Everyone knows what he's like.

Besides, you know what, he
does actually have a point.

What?

You hadn't prepared, had you?
I mean, not fully.

I can't believe you're taking
his side. I'm not.

It's hard enough to keep the kids' attention at
the best of times, without you making it worse.

Right, well, I wouldn't
know about that now, would I?

Because I'm just a little teaching
assistant. Come on. That's not what I meant.

No, don't worry about it, Tom. I wouldn't
want to take up the time of a proper teacher.

I've done all I can.

Most of them favour Ladmore,
have done from the start.

Probably all golfing buddies
or taking backhanders,

but there's nothing I can do.

Don't put yourself down. You have
enormous power. It's your school.

They hold the purse strings.

So what? You're a successful head
teacher rescuing a troubled school.

Threaten to walk,
they'll do anything you ask.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to compromise
everything I've worked for, for you.

Well, to be fair, you compromised
everything the moment

you took on a false identity,
and you compound it

every day you continue the lie.

Come on, Rachel, you're
taking this too seriously.

You said yourself you'd have backed
my bid. That's all you've got to do.

Or you'll ruin me.

In this case, I don't have a choice.

So, sadly, neither do you.

It's incredible, isn't it, all
these names coming out of the past.

I haven't thought about
some of these for 50 years.

It's like Friends Reunited
from the w*r.

Oh, go on, click on that one.

Ray Garstang, known as "The Pole",

but is he Polish?

No, love. It was because he had...

well let's say,

he was very popular with us girls.

What? I was two years older
than you, in the prime of life!

All that death and dying going on
round about, you learned to grab

what you could while you could.

Pity that some folk round
here can't feel the same.

Come on, Janice, you're not at
school now. It's Janeece, actually.

Course it is, nothing's ever
simple with you lot, is it?

The gents toilets on this floor need
cleaning. You're all right, love.

She's helping me.

No, she's helping me.

She's sorting the computer for us.

Volunteers are supposed to do
all sorts, not just cleaning.

Whatever.

She's more trouble than she's worth.

Come on you. Oh, why do I
have to go?

Miserable cow.

Eh, Eunice, you were a land
girl and all, weren't you?

Come and have a look at this! Go on.

It's amazing, isn't it?

All these folk

could have gone to their graves
as nothing more than memories

to each other, and here they are

chatting away
like nobody's business.

Why don't you lot post something on
there? You've got the computer

and I've got the camera
to take all your pictures.

Come on, girls. Get out the lippy.

You's lot.
It's like you're all normal.

Could say the same about you.

Janeece?

One minute.

Are you coming out to get some lunch?

In a bit. I said I'd help
these with the computer.

What are you talking to 'em for?
It's just housekeeping.

They're all right.
They're a great laugh.

Are you OK, love?
Yeah, I just need to... You know.

What you doing? We don't have to
do that, we're cleaners, remember.

You're mad, you are.

Eric, relax, it's in the bag.

Yeah, you'll get your tender.

Trust me.

She's just being a bit uppity, but everyone
else is on side and it's not her decision.

When have I ever let you down, eh?

Sorry about this, love.
Oh no, you're all right.

Come off it! Who in their right mind would
want to help an old biddy strain her greens?

Oh, I dunno. It's just like helping
your mates when they're pissed.

You're a good girl, Janeece. There's
precious few that'd take the time.

Well, no reason why they should
possibly, but still, you...

So, you like a drink?
Course. Who don't?

I've got some sherry stashed away in me bedside
table unless the cleaners haven't got to it first.

Make the rest of the day
go with a swing, eh?

Yeah.

Alors, comment va la vie
en France sans moi?

Claude, tu est vraiment scandaleux!

Arrete! Steph!

Please!

Je suis desolee,

j'ai un collegue impolit qui
ne cesse pas de me couper.

Il existe des personnes qui ne comprennent
pas l'importance de "l'echange culturelle!"

Claude, arrete!

BIG BAND MUSIC

Of course, the Yanks, oh,
they really knew how to jive.

We thought they were the
business, didn't we?

Very sexy! It's just throwing
each other about, though, innit?

You could see it that way, but
we reckoned if they could chuck you

about on the dance floor like
that, well, you know.

We were usually right.

Nowadays, though, you
don't even need a bloke.

What do you mean
you don't need a bloke?

Wait there, let me
change the music over.

DANCE MUSIC

Come here, you.

Bessie!

Are you all right?
MAN: Turn that off.

Surprise, surprise! Whenever you lot
come here, there's always something.

Can you give us an 'and or what?
Ha! Giving orders now, are we?

Typical. You make the mess, but you expect
us to clear it up. You're as bad as this lot.

Are you OK, Bessie?

When I took this job,

it was on the understanding that the LEA were
fully committed to turning the school around.

We are!

But the first chance we get to make a difference
and you're umming and ahhing. Oh, come on!

Look, if you weren't
serious about that commitment,

I am going to have to strongly

consider my position as head teacher.

What, you're threatening to walk?

Over which set of builders
we employ?

I don't understand. What is it about
this particular bid, Ms Mason?

It's the best.
And the most expensive.

Are we to believe that a few eco-friendly trimmings
is going to solve all of your school's problems?

Well, of course not, but we need
the commitment, not half-measures.

The kids should feel proud of their school and
they should feel their school is proud of them.

Look, if we were to go for this bid,

you are aware that it would use
all of Waterloo Road's allocation

of contingency funding
for the next five years?

You do understand that, don't you?

If that's the case, then so be it.

As I've said, we need this.

So you're prepared to sacrifice
any emergency repairs or future

development, just for this?

If that's what it takes.

As I said, I don't understand
what makes this bid so special

to you, Ms Mason.

Well, I could ask you why you're
so attached to the Ladmore bid.

Or might that seem a bit too uppity.

You must be very proud.

I never understand why
they let you lot in here.

Nobody would be stuck in here
if life hadn't crapped on them

and you lot just add
insult to injury.

It was an accident, all right? Before that
me and her was having fun. Having fun?

Kids! You wouldn't know hard
work if it bit you on the arse.

You don't know me.
You know nothing about me.

I worked three years at Waterloo
Road, cleaning up after your sort.

Now you may think you're too good
for this, but you're wrong.

You lot think you can do
anything you like,

but when you realise
you have to work for it,

it's just, "sod it"
and you're off to sign on.

- No staying power, no commitment,
- no respect.

Just... Just what?

Keep going, Janice! I bet your
head teacher would be chuffed

to hear you talk like that
to a superior.

Mmm, got time for tea, have we?

I'd thought you'd be busy

reading up for your next lesson.

Wouldn't want to turn up unprepared,
would we?

Do I detect a note of disharmony
between you and Miss Shackleton?

You been hitting
the Jane Austen again.

Couldn't help noticing that
she has been struggling recently.

Although how she manages
to struggle with any aspects

of being a classroom assistant
is beyond me, but struggle she does.

Give it a rest, Grantly. You're a
worse bully than some of the kids, you.

Show your colleague some respect.

Well, thanks for that.

It's bad enough Grantly thinking I'm a waste of space,
without you coming along to fight my battles for me.

I was trying to help. You just
made me look like a helpless case.

I tried telling you this morning,
but it obviously didn't sink in.

Just go find someone else to rescue.

Is she gonna be all right?
They're sending me home.

Result!

Yeah, right!
I've lost two jobs in one day.

How can she sack you? It was an
accident, wasn't it? Like she cares.

She thinks I'm useless. They all do.

That's crap.

You know what, they're all right.

It's pointless, work, school.
It's a waste of time.

I'm a waste of space.

You should've blamed me. I'd happily smack one
of the old fogies if it got me out of here.

[ We've been authorised.

It's contraband.
We've gotta take it. ]

I dunno if I can be arsed
with this much longer.

What do you mean? It's ace!

I mean as long as we don't hit 'em,
we can do what we like.

We're going to make a fortune
selling all of this stuff.

Just looks like another job to me
and I've already got one of them.

Still getting loads off all these
scrotes. And we'll catch a bollocking.

They'll say we nicked it. No, they
won't, cos it's all ill*gal, innit?

Besides, Lawson said, as long as we don't
lay a finger on them, we can do what we like.

He didn't say that, man.
This is dumb.

They'll have some f*gs. Oi!

Get 'em, now!

I'm so sorry, Bessie.

I could've died when I seen
what had happened.

Me whirling you about like that.

Don't be daft.

At my age, you don't get that many chances to
dance, so I'm not going to let a little cut stop me.

You're a breath of fresh air, sweetheart,
don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

They're sending me home.
No, they're not.

I've told 'em it's all my fault,
the dancing, the sherry and whatnot.

Said you were
the best volunteer we'd had.

Really?

Most of them don't even speak to us, it's
like they're afraid of catching something.

Makes no odds to me. There's no
point in me staying, with that Linda.

- The next time she speaks to me like that, I swear,
I'll make her sorry - and then they'll send me away.

Why do you want to make her sorry?

She's a sad enough
specimen as it is.

She was a real cow
to me, dead nasty.

I'm not taking that from a cleaner.

There you go.
She doesn't want to be here,

but instead of getting on with it,

she's determined to drag
everybody else down with her.

So you can let her, which she'd love, or you can
smile and be as nice as pie and leave her to it.

It's easy for you to say.

D'you reckon?

All the time I hear people saying,
"Life's too short."

I tell you, they've no idea.

Believe me. So...

Either ignore her,

or end up like her.

[ Aw, get off me!

[ You'll bloody do what
you're told, we're prefects.

[ Who put you in charge!

[ Mr Lawson. You'll bloody do
as you're told, now hand it over.

I don't believe you. What's going on?

What?

You wanna watch this lot.
They're trouble.

We're on our break,
till half past, you said.

Do you want a tea?

What's this, Janeece?

Are you worried what I'll tell
the school about you?

No, I just wondered
if you wanted a brew.

I haven't got time seeing
as we're a cleaner down.

But since the accident, the manager
says she'd rather you came back

to doing what you're supposed to do.

So I've got a special job for you.

Sure. No problem.

In here. We were doing
what you told us to do.

Oh, come on, Paul!

This is Rochdale, not Abu Ghraib.

This ain't got nothing
to do with me. I told you, man.

Is this true?
Only cos he couldn't be bothered.

I wasn't hitting them or anything,
I was just doing what YOU said.

Right, let's just say that
I wasn't very clear and you

were a bit over enthusiastic.

So what happens now, then?
You're taking it away from us?

No, let's give it another go,
only this time, leave the doling

out of punishments to us.

I don't mind you telling
people not to do things.

But what if it's serious? Then send
them to us and we'll deal with it,

but I don't want to hear any more
complaints about any of you.

Do I make myself clear?
Yes, Sir. Well, go on, get off.

These two need the bedding changing.

I'm sorry, I can't, I just...

I can't.

Just in case you thought this
was all playing with computers.

Is she OK?

She's a long-term dementia patient, stuck
here because no-one else can look after her.

What do you think?

Anyhow, quick as you can.

Hello?

Are you all right?

Well, Ms Mason, I'd like to take this
opportunity to thank you for your input.

A fighting performance and if there's nothing else
I'll ask you to leave us to our final deliberation.

That's it?
Oh, I think you've said enough.

Well worth the wait.

We'll inform you of our decision

by the close of play today.

Well, thank you for listening.

And please choose carefully,
there's an awful lot at stake.

All right?

That's Eileen
and the other one's Margaret.

I do them when I can.
They've got no-one.

Is this where people come when
they're really, really sorry?

Oh, don't mind me, you two,
just pretend I'm not here.

Look, erm, I'm really sorry too.

I know you can fight
your own battles.

I certainly don't think assistants
are more lowly than teachers.

No, I know that.

And all this stuff with Grantly, well,
it's really put things into focus for me.

I agree with him,

I don't think it's all that great
being a teaching assistant.

Excuse me...

and, erm, just ignore Grantly.

He's threatened by everything.

I think TAs do a great job.

No, I know.
I'm not slagging off the job.

I'm just saying
it's not enough for me.

I want more.

I want to be a teacher.

What? Don't you think I could do it?

I think you'd be
a brilliant teacher.

I mean, you'd have to qualify.
Really[?]

Well, it can't be that difficult,
you did it.

And besides, there's this guy
I know who can't stop helping me,

so, how hard can it be?

Well, erm,

I've still got all my coursework
at home... Might help.

Pop round tonight if you want...

mate.

What are you doing here? Finished.

Is there anything else for me to do?

Well, you've changed your tune.
Worried about my report, are you?

No. I just wanted to do
a good job, that's all.

There's no point
starting anything now.

Just stay out of trouble
till knocking off time.

Ta.

She's poisonous, that one.

Oh, I dunno.

You watch yourself.

Turn out like her

and you'll have me to answer to.

You've broken the rules, now
you're going to see Mason. Hey!

Stop that!

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

We're allowed, we're enforcers!

Mr Lawson said.
We're taking them to your office.

I asked you to have a word,
not form a vigilante force.

They've got half the school
lined up out there.

I know, they're keen, but when have
you seen the likes of Paul Langley

here after home time?
And doing something for the school?

Yes, but this, Eddie?

I'm sorry, but what you said was
right. Being in the Lessons for Life

shouldn't make anyone's life
any harder.

Look, obviously, we need to monitor it, but I
think it'll work and so does Tom, it was his idea.

But I should have waited for your OK
and for that, I apologise.

Apology accepted.

How'd it go with the LEA?
Oh, don't ask.

And who did they give it to?

They are deciding as we speak.

What about your pal, Stuart, how
did his pitch go? He's not "my pal".

Everything OK?

Yes, everything's fine.

Seems LEA meetings don't bring
out the best in me, that's all!

You take it easy and I'll
come and see you tomorrow.

Oh, don't be daft, love,
you go out and enjoy yourself,

you don't want to be here
with a bunch of coffin-dodgers!

Shut up!

I've had the best time.

It's been a real laugh.

Can't believe I'm saying that.
Come here.

And you look after yourself,

go easy on that sherry.

Who knows, if you're good,
someone might bring you some more.

See ya, Linda.

So? How did it go?

Smart, yeah.

The manager reckons I'm a natural, so
there might be a proper job in it and all.

So what about you?

Pretty good.

I was a little nervous at first, but
the stylists were really easy-going.

It was a laugh.

It's weird, innit? Us lot,
just finished a hard day's work.

Yeah, I thought maybe we could
go out, you know, celebrate?

I'd love to, Chlo,
but I've got homework to do.

Homework?

Yeah, I want to work myself through all these,
plus I wanna be sharp for tomorrow, you know.

I mean, this lot ain't going to sell
itself, is it! Fine. Some other time, then.

Definitely.

You ready, Cel? Yeah.

Laters, Chlo!

Miss, I wanna go back
to Kirby Mills.

Well, those are words I never
thought I'd hear, come in.

Actually, you know what, there
was a message from them. Oh.

Apparently you were
involved in an accident.

Miss, it was an accident, honestly.

And there's a comment here from
your supervisor, Linda Dawkins.

She said she was impressed with your
patience and your positive attitude

and that the school should be proud
of you. She said that? Yeah.

That Linda was on my case
the whole time. Really?

You know when someone's winding you
up, it was like that all day.

I could've just said, "sod it", and gone
home, but I didn't. Well, good for you.

So, I'm going back then?

I'm not scared of her!

I'm not scared of anything, me.

God, there's so much
to do, isn't there?

Remember, it looks worse than it is,
that's for a full-time PGCE.

You're more likely going to be doing the Registered
Teachers' Programme, so you can work at the same time.

What, at Waterloo Road?

I don't see why not.
Vocational teacher training's

right up Rachel's street, innit?

Tom, I know I was
horrible to you today, but...

Well, I need to ask you something.

OK.

You have to honest with me.

Sure.

Do you really think I can do this?

What, the RTP?

Of course you can!

You're not just saying that?

You are the most able and energetic
person in that place.

You could get a PhD
if you put your mind to it.

Thank you.

I thought we were supposed
to be doing the "friends" thing?

Oh, yeah, right.

And how was that working for you?

Councillor Philby. Yeah.

Right.

Well, it was never about you or me,
was it?

I'm just glad the school's
getting what it deserves at last.

OK, well,

thanks for letting me know.

You too.

Everything OK?

Er, Hordley Construction
have won the bid.

Oh, Stuart! I bet you're pleased.

Why?

Well, Stuart Hordley?

I thought we all
rather liked his plan.

Anyway, he is quite easy
on the eye, as builders go.

Anyway, Steph, your expenses. I mean,
how did you manage to spend so much?

Well, I think the expression is,
"Speculate to accumulate."

If you're asking for money, you've go
to, you know, sweeten the pill a little.

I was representing this school.

There'll be no more trips abroad,
not until this one yields results.

As Finance Director,
I'm sure you understand that.

Does this mean I can reclaim
sole use of my office?

That's the other thing I wanted
to talk to you about.

As this funding initiative's going to
keep you occupied for some time yet

and Tom seems to be flourishing
in the pastoral care role,

well, Eddie and I were thinking of
offering it to him on a full-time basis.

Wow!

Well, erm,

that's been building
up for quite some time!

But, we're still "just friends",
right?

Oi, you little...

I'm really glad this happened.

It feels right.

Yeah, me too.

DOOR OPENS

Come on. It's the girls!

Yeah, exactly. Not the Gestapo.

Tom, we're not teenagers.

Tom? Chlo?

Less chat, more clothes, please,
for my sake.

I don't see why we
should have to hide.

You're not ashamed of me, are you?
Course not!

Hi, Mika!
Did you have a good day at school?

Hiya.

Hi.

Davina was just, erm...

Right.

I'll, er, see you tomorrow.

DOOR OPENS

Bridget, are you still here...

Have you heard anything yet? Yes.

Well?

You got it. Yes!

Thank you.

So now you've got what you want,

can you leave, please.

Come on,

don't be like that.

We both got a result today.

You got a great new building for your
school, you can be proud of that. Proud?

Rachel, I'm not happy
with the way things ended up.

I know it wasn't easy, but,

today can be the beginning of a long
and rewarding relationship for both of us.

Your secret is safe with me.

Mr Hordley seems like he's a man
out to impress, he might have

a bit of a thing for you.

No, he doesn't. Well,
maybe you just have a thing for him?

You might have fooled everyone
else, but you haven't fooled me.

You're a coward and a liar.

D'you want another smack? No!

Then put your arm in there,
hurry up and do as you're told.

Oi, that's as*ault.
What I saw was as*ault.

We want you to teach them
ballroom dancing. To that lot?

Everybody knows Michaela is a bully.
It's a good job I didn't slap her one.

OK then, Mr Budgen, let's
see you do some of that.

Koreshi punched me one, she should
be sacked for what she did to me.

Striking a child is gross
professional misconduct,

you leave me with only one option.