01x10 - Shop Cop / Acting Silly

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Don't touch that dial.

Seriously, it's covered in germs.

♪♪♪

Scaredy: [singing to himself]

Keep up the good work, dave.

Whoo-hooo!

Scaredy: this is gonna be the mapliest display ever!

Don't like it. Too... [Groans] sweet.

What do you think you're doing?!

I don't want anyone near the new alarm system.

It is way too complex

For a bunch of pea brains like you,

So off you go.

[Cart wheels squeak, clink]

Scaredy: last one, dave, and we are...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Agh!

Scaredy! D'oh!

[Woozy moans]

[Electricity fizzles, pained groans]

[Screaming]

[Alarm blares]

[Screaming]

[Water patters]

[Groans]

Ugh! What happened?

[Growls]

[Weak laugh]

Momma, it was the squirrel's fault!

I tried to stop it, but-

You broke the alarm system!

Robotic voice: please remove security tag from product.

Tag. Remove. Taaa... [Powers off]

Now you'll have to stay here overnight

To guard the store!

Oh, momma, do I have to?

There's a thief on the loose.

The balsa badger burglar has been burgling stores

All over the city.

A burglar?

Momma: didn't you see today's newspaper?

They say he's armed and dangerous!

Tough to be dangerous without arms.

You're fired!

He doesn't work here.

You! Here! All night!

[Nestor groans]

I don't work here?

[Singing to himself]

Scaredy! Ahhh!

You broke the alarm

So you'll be staying overnight

To guard the store.

Me? Guard the store?

Thank you for this opportunity.

I will not let you down.

Whatever.

Just don't let anything happen to the store,

Or else!

I'm gonna be the best security guard

This store has ever seen.

And I will tag along!

Can I have some marshmallows?

Sure.

♪♪♪

[Grunts]

[Grunts harder]

[Whistle toots in time to marching]

Would you stop that?!

Ah, thank you! My arms are k*lling me!

You civilians have a good night.

Things here are safe; that's my job!

Staff is leaving now. Over.

Hey, scaredy, when you go to bed,

Do you sleep under or over the covers?

I sleep under. Over.

So both?

No, I said under. Over.

Having trouble deciding?

No, I said under and i-

Give me your walkie-talkie.

You want me to hand it... Over?

Dah! I need a new walkie.

First duty: locking up.

[Humming]

[Thunder claps]

Dave, have you seen today's paper?

It says you can clean floors with vinegar.

I knew it!

Everybody gone? Over.

That's a carton of milk, dave.

Sorry, I didn't get that. Over.

Time for operation secure the store! Over.

Time for operation marshmallow.

Think I might vomit all... Over.

[Pounding]

Duty calls!

What? Not talking to you.

Okay. [Eating noisily] over.

Sorry, we're closed!

I'm stu, the night janitor.

Scaredy squirrel. Night watchman.

Head of securi-tay.

Can I see some sort of id?

Hmm.

Well, not everyone has a mop, I guess.

Thanks, man.

I'm gonna clean this place out. [Evil laugh]

You mean clean this place up, right?

Right; that's what I said.

I should get started.

[Thud] oof! Come on.

Dave: nice move, scare.

Could come in handy against the thiefy badger buggler.

Thief who-da-bad-what?

Very dangerous. Two arms.

Agh! Dave, I just let him in!

Why?

He said he was the night janitor!

He had a mop!

Okay. Stay calm. He doesn't know we know.

We'll just quietly go up to nestor's office

And call the police.

Shhhh! [Loud pop]

Stay calm!

It's going to the answering machine.

Leave a message. Tell them it's an emergency!

The stash 'n' hoard is being robbed

By the balsa burger bag.

The baggy bison... The bap-bat-bat-badger-

It is so hard to say!

Balsa badger buggler. Balsa salsa budgie.

It is hard to say!

Badger: hey, my momma always liked it.

Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh!

[Coughs]

Hey, do you have a lozenge?

Oh, maybe. Let me check my-

Scaredy: run!

[Growls]

I'm not gonna let you rob this store!

How are you gonna stop me?

I have the only key to the front door

And you ain't gettin' out unless you get it from me.

[Snarls]

[Nervous laugh]

Ahhhhh!

[Panting]

Ahhhhhhh!

[Panting]

[Low growl]

[Thunder claps]

[Light fizzles, powers off]

Badger: you can run but you can't hide.

[Gulp] shhhh.

[Evil laugh]

[Teeth chatter]

[Evil laugh]

We gotta hide!

He just said we can't.

Come on.

There's gotta be a hiding spot

Around here someplace.

If we're hiding here all night,

I'm gonna need more marshmallows.

I'm not scared of him.

He-he-he-he should be scared of me.

Yeah, me.

I'm the night watchman and... Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[Laughs] it was me!

You jumped so high!

[Hysterical laughter] oh wow, you terrified me!

Why did you do that?! Woo-hoo-hoo!

I gotta catch my breath here.

Woo-hoo-hoo. Okay.

I guess that was kind of funny.

Yeah, okay, nice try. Not falling for it again.

Seriously, take it off.

Stop it.

Not a newspaper. Ahh!

Badger: gimme that key!

Scaredy, look out!

You're a little late!

I'm gonna finish my stealing,

Then I'm coming for that key!

Scaredy: what are we doing?

Uh, hiding in a box?

No, I made a vow to protect this store,

And no balsa badga bucka, bassa bubbie bubbie...

No guy is gonna stop us!

Yeah! Stop us from eating marshmallows?

No, protecting the store. I knew that.

Ooh yeah, I just love stealing.

Free stuff to steal in aisle seven!

Huh?

I got it working again. Over.

Sweet! Over.

All right, let's do this.

It's showtime.

I'm really starting to hate marshmallows.

Okay, dave, wait for him... Wait for him.

[Gasps]

Here it is, the free stuff to steal!

Wait a second, it's all free!

[Evil laugh]

Dave: scaredy, he's headed to aisle four. Over.

Four. Four.

Agh!

[Groans]

[Splat]

Aisle 5! [Gulp]

Aisle 5!

[Groans]

Huh? Oh pine nuts.

Scaredy, he's coming your way!

He looks pretty mad.

[Heavy breathing]

What do I do? What do I do?

Dave, help!

So sticky!

That's it!

Now you are mine, squirrel!

Yeah, well come and get me.

[Panting]

Oof!

Aghhhhh!

Oof!

Ha! Is that the best you got, rodent?

Nope. This is!

[Can clangs and rumbles]

Well, everything is safe now that-

Agh! When I catch you two-

Dave: I hate these things!

Looks like you messed with the wrong security guard,

Balsa badger burglar! Hey, I said it!

Yeah!

Scaredy: we saved the day.

Nestor: what in bruised fruit happened to the store?

Scaredy: the balsa badger burglar happened!

Dave and I caught him!

I think you mean I caught him.

If momma finds out I left you two in charge,

I'd never hear the end of it.

[Approaching sirens] heh, I'm going to be a hero.

Police: someone called about a robbery?

Indeed! And I single-handedly,

Captured the balsa batcha butchy.

Balsa. Badger. Burglar. It's not that hard to say!

Reporter: nestor! Nestor!

Do you mind giving me the exclusive?

Nestor: not at all.

Reporter: let's start with a photo, shall we?

[Stomach growls] what's the matter with you?

Marshmallows... Coming back up.

News boy: extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Strange marshmallow creature

Captures bassa backa backgammon...

Bulsa bidg beh... Ah, forget it.

Hmm. I wonder who the marshmallow creature is?

Wow. You have really bad short-term memory.

Huh. Come on,

We better finish cleaning the store.

Dave: how many sodas do you think I could drink in a day?

Scaredy: no, dave. Just no.

♪♪♪

[Bus doors whoosh open]

Bill. Scaredy.

Bill. Dave.

Scaredy: carl. Goat: sca-a-a-a-redy.

Ca-a-a-a-a-arl. Dave.

I love that goat.

Ah, same old, same old.

Sweet, sweet routine.

Yeah, but don't you wanna switch it up sometimes?

Do something new?

Nope. I like things just the way they-

What-in-the-new-now?

Sue: excuse me. Pardon me.

[Dramatic romantic music plays]

Scaredy: sanitizer?

Excessive cleaning? [Sheep coughs]

She's like a girl you!

[Coughing]

[Love sigh]

[Spray hisses]

Great! I missed my stop!

Must. Meet.

[Disco music plays]

[High-pitched squeaks]

Oh, are you okay?

[Squeaking]

He must have swallowed a taco sideways!

I know taco whistle when I hear it.

Oh, here's our stop.

Sue: I'm getting out here too. [Giggles]

Scaredy: [choking sounds]

I'm fine, dave.

I was just having trouble talking to her.

I think... I think I like her.

Dave: they grow up so fast.

Heh! Hi! I'm uh-

Scaredy? [Giggles]

I'm sue.

Nice to meet sue. You. Sue. I'm...

Both: scaredy.

Ha-ha! You knew that. All. Ready.

Heh. Name tag.

Dave: free samples.

Pineapple popcorn ice cream. Aisle six.

Hasn't been announced yet! We gotta move!

Dave! Dave's here!

I brought the mustaches

So they'll keep serving us over and over.

My name is detective awesome.

Sue: that's pretty good.

You guys should audition for the play.

We're not playing around, girl-scaredy.

This is serious business.

Sue: no, the balsa city players are putting on

"The peanut butter and toe jam."

I'm auditioning for the lead. [Giggles]

Scaredy: [squeaky wheezing]

That's why I need the jellybeans.

It's an old theatre superstition.

"A jellybean in each ear, you'll audition with no fear"!

One time, I got a rock stuck in my nose!

O-kay. Nice meeting you.

[Giggles]

Good luck at your auditi-

[Shrieks] never say "good luck" to an actor!

[Giggles] bad luck.

You say "break a leg." Buh-bye.

I hope you break your legs!

Sue: thanks!

[Tongue-tied] goodbye! Oh...

Nestor: attention, customers.

Free samples of pineapple popcorn ice cream in aisle six,

Except for dave.

Dave: hello. I'm detective awesome.

Nestor: or detective awesome.

Scaredy: dave! Dave! You know what I'm gonna do,

You know, to see her again?

I'm gonna audition for the play!

You? On a stage?

Scaredy: uh-huh. Dave: with a huge audience?

Scaredy: yep. Dave: everybody watching?

I'm trying not to think about it.

Watching you? Eeep!

[Crowd booing]

Ha! Is that all you got?

Never mind.

Ahhhhhh!

It's okay.

That's probably what'll happen.

But I have to try, dave!

She's so cute and she said my name.

Scaredy.

Scaredy and girl-scaredy sitting in a tree

K.i.s.s.s.s...

K.i.s.s.s.s who?

Just asking. [Yelling] who?

Dave: scaredy met a girl!

And when he talks to her his voice gets all taco-y.

He likes her.

That is so great!

Wow, I really hope it works out and everything!

I'm not just saying that.

[Angry snarling]

I think we better go.

Sally: [roaring and screaming]

What's with the melon?

"She" is my acting partner.

Her name's shirley, and she's super talented.

Oh, scaredy! [Giggles]

You're auditioning?

[Squeaking]

Sally: ahem! Hi. Sally.

You're in my seat.

Sue: sorry, I didn't- sally: thanks.

You nervous? Kinda.

Just picture me in my underwear.

Do it.

You're not doing it!

Still nervous?

[Glass shatters]

Aaagh!

And a little queasy.

Thaddeus: attention thespians and welcome to the audition.

I expect magic today.

Oh yes! Magic, I tell you.

Good luck.

Actually, in the theatre-

I know. Good. Luck.

Shatter all of your bones!

You broke my heart, bethany.

My tender, tender-

Thaddeus: moving on!

Buck: fair enough.

I sayeth, my good-

Thaddeus: cut! Enough!

Thank you! Thank you so much!

See you at rehearsal!

[Rhythmic drumming]

Rain. Doors. Things that sleep.

Egg carton fences and dryer sheets.

Thaddeus: cut! Thank you.

Root beer sunsets and monkey cats-

Cut means stop!

Almond thoughts and...

Hey, is that a trap doorrrrrrrrrrr...

[Thunk, chicken clucks]

Next up... Scaredy and sue.

Now, in this scene, I need to see fear.

Real fear. And...action!

Peanut butter and banana you say?

You got some crazy sandwich ideas.

I just... I, I just... I just...eeeee...

Thaddeus: wonderful! [Gasps] amazing!

Splendaceous! Perfection.

[Kisses his hand] [gasps] finally!

I brought more bongos! [Loud crank]

Not agaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnn!

[Thud, chicken clucks]

I... I got a part!

I'm silent deli customer number four,

And shirley got the part of rehearsal snack! Yeah!

I'm the male lead? I'm the female lead!

Guess it's you and me.

[Giggles] [squeaky wheeze]

Sally: oops! Pardon me. Move!

Head of props?

Well, I guess I'll be here all the time

Keeping an eye on things and props and squirrels.

[Crying]

Whoa. I almost forgot my jellybeans!

[Buzzing]

Weren't those in your ears?

Yeah, if you get the part, you get to eat 'em.

Another theatre superstition?

Yup, like every time you walk through a doorway,

You gotta do this:

[Non-sensical gibberish]

[Non-sensical gibberish]

[Shrieky maniacal laughter]

I remember your laugh being cuter

And less crazy sounding.

[Maniacal laughter] oh, you!

Did you get your rubber boots filled with sardine juice yet?

[Laughs] I thought you were-

I'm serious!

But this is it for the superstitions, right?

[Giggles] oh, hardly.

As leading lady, I can't have a bath or shower

Until after the play is done.

W-w-what, what, what?

If I do, we'll have a terrible show.

But you can't not wash and brush your teeth, right?

Right?

Scaredy, come on. That would be crazy.

Crazy, crazy, crazy! [Maniacal laughter]

[Non-sensical gibberish]]

[Maniacal laughter]

We're going to have so much fun together.

Yeah. Heh-heh. Fun.

[Splat]

Ugh.

[Smell hisses]

[Groans]

[Splat]

[Giggles]

[Food splats]

Agh!

Darling, did you miss me?

Darling, I missed you more

Than peanut butter misses toe jam.

Eep! What about flossing?

Is flossing out too?

Thaddeus: wontabulous!

But this scene needs a kiss!

What? Am I right? I am! I am!

Yes! A kiss! A kiss! [Shrieks] a kiss!

A kiss! [Maniacal laughter]

[Sighs]

I've made a horrible mistake!

I knew root beer was a fruit.

No. It's sue.

When she got the part,

She took the bus to crazy town.

[Clock cuckoos]

She's not showering until the play is over

And now I have to kiiii...

Kiss her.

High five!

No! I don't want to kiss her.

Low five. What am I gonna do?

She's just superstitious.

I know, but...

Did you just squirt ketchup into your nose?

Maybe.

Theatre superstition?

Yeah... Theatre.

We've got to clean up, sue. You with me?

Yeah, clean.

[Snorts]

Just wanted to say... Oh sweet mother of almonds!

I mean, "break a leg?"

Thanks, scaredy. [Giggles]

[Deep voice] you too!

Thaddeus: actors to the stage!

It's showtime! [Excited laughter]

I can't wait for the big kiss, scaredy!

Kiiiisssss.

Yeah. Haha! We'll see you out there.

[Cheering]

Scaredy: darling, did you miss me?

Darling, I missed you more

Than peanut butter misses toe jam.

Now! Now!

This is our big moment, shirley.

Soap first, then the water.

Soap, water, soap, water.

My heavens, is that snow?

Darling, it seems so.

Oh, now it looks like rain!

What? No! Rain!

[Giggles]

What strange weather.

[Screams]

What a world! What a world!

I'm... I'm clean!

Noooo!

You could learn to love it!

Crowd: [shocked gasps]

What are you doing?!

Uh, it was her!

Agh! Sorry, shirley! I panicked!

Thaddeus: sue is nowhere to be found! She's gone!

Wow. I had no idea she'd leave!

I guess we have to cancel.

Thaddeus: no. The show must go on! It must!

Props and understudy to the lead.

Wha? N-n-n-n-n-no...

Dave: once you regained consciousness, you did an awesome job.

Are you gonna audition for the next play?

No way. I am done with acting.

Hey, where's shirley?

I waited by the snack table for her after the play,

But she never showed up.

Dave, you... I what? What?

Scaredy: you did an awesome job, too.

Dave: aw, thanks! [Eating noisily]