04x02 - Adventures in Frogsitting / Straighten Up and Flu Right

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Stop shaking cows!

That's not how you make a milkshake!

♪♪

Scaredy: steady, steady...

[Rumbling] what's that?

Shhhhh! It's sam's extra breakable

Extra overpriced rice crackers.

Buck: [loudly] oh! Scaredy: aggghhhhh!

Shhhhhhh! Don't breathe.

Mrphhhhhhhhle!

Nestor: bwaaaaaaaaak!

You, straighten up!

[Belches]

You, straighten down!

You!

Do the opposite of whatever you're doing!

Bwaaaaaaaaak!

Bwaaaaaaaaak!

It has to be perfect! Perfect!

Phew!

Dave!

Noooooo!

The real tragedy

Is I don't even like rice crackers.

Nestor: waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Does nestor seem a little on edge today?

Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!

What a baby!

[Ferocious roar]

[Yelps]

Don't give me that smug look, mister.

I dunno. He seems about the same.

Waaaaaaaa!

Hey, nestor.

Know what I like to do when I'm stressed out?

Chamomile tea,

Classical music, and calming whale sounds.

[Wails, mimicking a whale] I am a whale.

[Wails, mimicking a whale] ♪ I am a whale

[Growls]

Dave: c'mon! Give it a try!

Bwaawawawawaaaaaaak!

[Splash, mug shatters]

Oopsie!

Bwaawawawawaaaaaaak!

[Fizzles]

I don't think it's working.

Out! Out! Ouuuuuut!

You're just going to mess everything up!

Mess what up?

The billionaires- who-like-to-shop-

At-grocery-stores convention

Is coming to town tomorrow,

And momma put me in charge!

Aggghhhh!

Don't worry about it!

Dave and I will make sure everthing-

No-no-no-no!

Every time you two help hilarious shenanigans ensue.

You are banned from the store tomorrow.

Banned? Like ban banned?

Yes! Outta my way!

Nestor, wait!

[Turns music on, fizzles]

Aggghhhhhh!

You know what? I feel really relaxed.

Mildred, I need you to-

[Belches]

I'm taking tomorrow off.

Wha-wha-whaaaat?!

I have to babysit my nephew tad.

[Groans]

But you're our best uh...

You're our only cashier!

How 'bout I babysit for you, mildred?

I'll be banned from the store anyway,

And I know all the cleaning games

That kids love these days!

Whatever.

Nestor: fine!

Just make sure you take the stink b*mb with you.

Hey, I resent your- [farts]

Yet you make a good point.

Mildred, I promise to be the best babysitter

Your nephew has ever seen!

I shall raise him in my own image

And together we will forge a better future!

[Crickets chirp]

I mean, I promise to get him to bed before 8:30.

[Chuckles sheepishly]

Are you ready to give mildred's nephew the greatest

And safest babysitting experience ever?!

Totally!

All right!

If you familiarize yourself with this manual,

We'll be on the road

To perfectly planned babysitting

In no time.

I feel broken!

Now let's get our babysit on!

Activity matrix ready? Check.

Supplies? Check.

Dave, you can't eat the paste!

But I already finished the crayons!

Safe-ify those sharp corners?

Check and check.

Emergency contact list?

Check! Check! Check!

Scaredy: dave, these are all pizza delivery numbers!

Emergency pizza delivery!

[Alarm rings]

Okay! Done cleaning and we're right on schedule.

Mildred should be here any minute.

[Sighs] any minute is like forever from now.

Where are you, mildred?!

[Belches]

I gotta go drop the kid off at scaredy's.

Cover for me.

Huh?

Is this can shiny enough?

Nestor has been really yelly today.

Yeah, it's like this billionaire convention

Is making him more like his mom.

Nestor: [snooty] ahem.

Uh...

What? None of my shirts were clean.

Now get back to work or you're fired.

Fired! Fired! Fired!

[Doorbell rings]

Ready, dave?

Ta-da!

♪ We welcome you to my safe, safe home ♪

♪ And we hope you have a lot of fun ♪

Take it away, dave!

♪ Uh... We, uh, something, something ♪

♪ La la-la la-la la la la-la

Man, nothing rhymes with fun!

Nothing under the sun.

Not a ton.

Sorry I was so stunned,

But now I gotta run.

Oh! I forgot my hotdog bun.

Sorry about that,

But I promise the rest of my babysitting plans are-

Hey, where's your nephew? Where's little tad?

What?! I didn't know your nephew was a tadpole!

Tad, tad, tad.

I'm a frog.

What did you think he'd be?

Sorry, I haven't given him the talk about

The frogs and the bees yet.

But this throws off my whole plan!

I have an activity matrix!

At least fourteen of these plans

Require the ability to use safety scissors!

Have a nice day.

[Slams door]

What're we gonna do now?

Tad, tad, tad.

Guess we'll have to make stuff up as we go.

You mean... Improvise?!

I will not have language like that in this house!

Oooooo! Oooooo! I love improv!

Okay, all I need from the audience

Is a location, an occupation,

And a type of ground meat.

Dave, I don't even know what tad's supposed to eat!

That's it, I'm asking mildred.

But we were banned from the store, remember?

Dave, nestor's a reasonable guy.

When I explain the situation, I'm sure-

Nestor: nooooooooooooooo!

[Slamming phone repeatedly]

One day!

I just need things to go right for one day.

I'm back, nestor.

Bawwwkkkkk! Then get to work!

What?! What is it?

I didn't say a word, hon.

Tad, tad, tad.

All my perfect plans...ruined!

Dave: being babysat isn't about plans!

It's about watching scary movies,

Staying up past your bedtime

And telling your babysitter

That your parents let you sleep in a top hat!

But why would you want-

Because you can!

We should try something new!

I just came up with a game called

"Take a ride on the flush flush train!"

Tad!

I don't think that's a good idea.

It involves the toilet.

Yeah, I get it, dave.

We flush him down the toilet.

Yeah, no.

Dave: when mildred asks tad how his day was,

Do you want him to say, [sadly] "tad, tad, tad."

Or do you want him to say,

[Happily] "tad, tad, tad!"

Well, I guess we could find a way to have a little fun.

Okay, tad, let's- [water spills]

Tad?! Ahhhhhhhhh!

I looked away for two seconds - two!

I told you to be more careful.

C'mon, we've gotta find that tadpole!

♪♪

Ahhhhhhh! [Train honks]

We can't go in there.

We were banned,

And the billionaires will be here any second!

Dave, look!

Who spilt this?

Buck! Clean it up!

Gary! What are you doing?!

I don't really know.

Scaredy usually sets up the displays.

Don't ever say that name again.

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiired!

[Gasps]

What do we do?

We have to save tad,

But if we're caught inside the store,

We're toast!

[Vehicle screeches to a halt, billionaires chatter loudly]

Dave: time to improvise.

Okay! But just this once!

Excuse me, sir,

May we see your glasses for a moment?

Well, I suppose.

Just be careful, they're quite- [snap]

What? What was that?

We just became billionaires.

Did uh... Did you break my glasses?

Yes, yes, yes.

Scaredy: I can't believe this is working!

I can't believe I had an idea.

The water trail! Come on!

Bwaakk!

Good day, my fine billionaires.

We welcome your billions to the stash 'n' hoard.

Scaredy: ah, yes.

I am... Uh... Money j. Monington...

The hand sanitizer tycoon.

My name is fakename mcmadethisup.

Very rich.

I invented five internets last year.

Well, if you have any questions-

[Clears throat, voice goes higher]

Sorry, my voice is getting a little rough.

I've been yelling all day.

Nestor with momma's voice: we run a tight ship and-

Agghhh! Gotta run!

Now's our chance! Follow that water trail!

Noooooooooo! [Crying]

[Toilet flushes]

Poor tad.

I'm officially the worst babysitter ever!

Guess he tried the flush flush train

All by himself.

Was it fun?! [Echoes]

C'mon, we gotta tell mildred what happened.

[Blubbering] I'm so sorry!

I wanted to be the best babysitter ever,

But then the jar, and dave broke the glasses,

And the flush flush...

[Device beeps]

That's tad, isn't it? He turned into a frog!

Mildred: scaredy, that's what tadpoles do.

They turn into obnoxious tween frogs.

Lame.

And bees turn into butterflies.

Painful, painful butterflies.

I guess all's well that-

Nestor with momma's voice: scaredy?! Skunk?!

What're you doing here?!

You're ruining everything!

It's actually a funny story

Involving the life cycle of amphibians-

[Loud scream] bawwwwkkkkkkk!

Billionaires: well I never! How rude!

Not a store I'd ever shop in!

Momma: nestor!

Is that my-? Huh.

You actually clean up pretty good.

Billionaire: with a manager like that,

There is no way I would ever, ever,

Ever come back here again.

[Nervous giggle] [growls]

So lame.

Momma: bawwwwkkkkkkk!

You're fired!

And you're fired! [Panicked screams]

You are so fired!

♪♪

[Slurps]

[Gasps]

Welcome to the stash 'n' hoard!

Today we're giving away free-

Noooooo!

Huh.

Welcome to the stash 'n' hoard's very first-

Aggghhhhh!

Scaredy: hi. Today we're-

Rabbit and child: ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Uh... [Screams]

Why does that keep happening?

Not sure.

Nestor: why don't we have any shoppers, scaredy?!

Huh? Is it because your free flu shot day

Was a horrible idea?!

Well, I'm sure that's not it.

I even made posters!

"Our produce will grab ya, and then we'll jab ya."

Nestor: worst idea ever!

Mother was out of her mind to say yes to such a dumb idea.

Um...

Nestor: I should be the one that makes the decisions around here!

If she were here right now, I'd say, "guess what, mother?"

What, nestor?

You've lost your min-aggghhhhh!

I was just telling scaredy that-that-that i...

That you want a flu shot?

Yes! Exactly.

Um, flu shot, please.

Owww.

[Air hisses]

We have cartoon bandages.

Do you want luffa pete trousers

Or greetings kitten?

I don't care! Gimmie the kitten.

[Sobbing]

Have you had a flu shot, squirrel?

No. I've had two flu shots.

Have you had yours?

[Metal clangs]

Ha! When you got skin this tough

You don't need to worry about the flu!

Scaredy: there you are!

Why didn't you come get a flu shot?

They were free.

Eating mud is free

But you don't see me eating mud, do you?

I have. I have seen you eat mud.

It was dark.

It looked like pudding.

You should've gotten a flu shot.

Preventative medicine studies have shown that-

Blah bloo blip blah.

Shoulda coulda wouldn't'a didn't.

Well, I don't want you getting the flu,

So eat well and wash your hands as often as you-

Don't do that.

If they didn't want me to lick it,

They shouldn't have put it there.

You are totally going to get the flu.

No way that's gonna happen by the next scene!

[Phone rings]

Scaredy: ehh-oo?

Dave: [coughing, hacking and sneezing]

Scaredy, I'm hit!

I got flued. I'm all fluey!

I'm totally fluent. Ah-ah-achoo!

Je me bless!

[Excitedly] I'll be over in a few minutes.

[Hums happily]

Don't give me that look.

I'm not happy that dave is sick,

But remember last time this happened?

I got him healthy in 3.7 days.

Now I'm gonna beat that record!

Time to load up the happy haversack

Of healthy healing.

[Fizzles]

[Boom]

[Dave moans sickly]

[Sneezes]

Well, I'm glad I got my flu shot

Because this place screams

Upper respiratory tract infection.

It does not.

Pizza box: upper respiratory tract infection!

Dave: ignore that.

C'mon, we're going to my place.

I'm too sick to walk.

Can we take a helicopter?

I don't have a helicopter.

Can I make helicopter noises while we walk?

Scaredy: sure.

Dave: chucka chucka chucka chucka...

Scaredy: okay. Time to take your temperature!

Lift your arm.

Sure. The smores are prolly ready anyway.

Oh, I guess you have some fancy way to make smores

That doesn't involve your armpits?!

Toaster oven?

Pfft! I refuse to use an appliance

That can't decide what it is.

[Ding]

You're running a fever!

Now, if we follow my plan precisely,

I'll have you feeling better in less than 3.7 days.

We can do this!

Are you with me?!

No.

All right!

Let's get you on the healthy train!

There's a train?

No.

Can I make train noises?

Why not?

Chugga-chugga choo chooooo...

Aghhh!

[Spits]

[Pants]

[Swallows]

[High-pitched scream, glass shatters]

[Water splashes]

[Ding]

All right! Slight fever,

But I've got it down by 2 degrees!

Well, on our way to beating that record, my friend!

Ready for breakfast?

I made some freshly squeezed orange juice.

There's mine and here's...yours.

Enjoy!

Whoa! My pee-tank can't take all that!

Dave, you're getting better, but we still have a lot-

[Knock on door] who could that be?

Hi, donna! What are you-

I heard my marshmallow bear is sick.

Where is the poor baby?

Dave is actually feeling a little better

'Cause I've been taking care of him-

Dave: mom!

C'mon, my monkey pie!

Let's get you home and let mama get you better.

Scaredy: wait! No. Hang on!

No! Well, he's-

The thing is I'm about to break a record, so-

Donna: oh, you're a good friend, scaredy,

But that little custard tart needs his mama.

But I just- [door slams]

Dave: I feel better already.

Scaredy: she just swoops right in and takes over?

Ha! I was totally on track to beat that record!

[Beeping]

Time for dave's vitamin d drops and b12 sublinguals.

I better call donna and let her know the schedule.

[Laughs] vitamin d? Ha ha.

That's not real, scaredy.

Sounds like you got ripped off by a hippie.

Are you suggesting the absorption of calcium

And phosphorous is-

Donna: oh my heavens you know a lot of silly words!

Vitamins are not a part

Of my guaranteed cure system anyway.

Now I have to go roll dave in a marsh

And dunk him in gravy.

I'm sorry... What?

[Chuckles] "roll in a marsh, put gravy on your head,

Does more good than a day in bed."

What? You never heard that?

No, i... I've never heard of that.

[Sneezing]

Make sure you get plenty wet!

Scaredy: eeeeeee!

So, uh, how's this going?

He still seems stuffed up.

I guess he needs some tighter clothes.

"Got a stuffy nose, try wearing tighter clothes."

That is the most ridiculous thing

I have ever heard in my life!

Donna: I'll have you know

That these cures have been in our family

For hundreds of years, scaredy.

[Moaning and sneezing]

Dave, did you feel better

Before you were covered in mud?!

Who takes better care of you?

Scaredy, or the woman who gave you life?!

Uh, um, uh, well, ich, uh, um...

[Ding!]

[Gasps] his fever is up again

Thanks to this crazy mud bath idea!

Don't you dare blame me, mr. Vitamins!

[Moans]

Scaredy: okay, dave,

The darker the berry,

The higher the vitamin c content.

"Putting donuts on your toes cures the body's woes."

[Grunts of effort]

[Sneezes]

Soups almost ready, dave!

"Give your immune system a rise

With a little pudding in your eyes."

Dave: oooh! Pudding!

[Splat] you missed my mouth.

[Splat] my mouth is lower.

[Splat] ow. Try again.

[Splat] it's the one with the teeth.

[Splat] come on!

Dave needs rest!

"Watching cartoons makes you better real soons."

[Struggling grunts]

[Snoring, timer beeps]

Fluids!

What?

"Bounce away your sick on a pogo stick!"

That's ridiculous.

The immune system functions best when well hydrated.

Please! I just want you both to stop!

Ahhhhhhh!

[Moaning]

Scaredy: he looks bad.

Well, if you'd stopped interfering,

He'd be all better by now.

What?

He was getting better until you showed up!

There's no way I'll beat the record now.

You wouldn't have done it anyway.

None of your healing methods even rhyme!

Now gather up your vitamins and go home.

Dave: [groans sadly]

I'm sorry, buddy.

With only 1.3 days left to beat the record,

I've totally let you down.

Please don't go.

Can't you and my mom just work together?

She won't let me stay.

Says I gotta go away cause my cures don't rhyme.

I can't change her mind.

[Gasps] wait a second.

Donna, you were right and I was wrong.

Let's work together and do it your way!

"A wiener with a hat will cure you like that!"

"When a cold is on the loose, drink some juice."

Is that what you think?!

'Cause now you're making sense!

Open your yap, phlegmy flapjack!

"Fill your tummy with soup and the flu will...

Uh, fly the coup!"

"A bowl of pepper by your head

Will get your sick butt out of bed."

Pepper actually has no healing qualities, so tech-

[Growls]

Ooh! Oh yeah!

Head. Bed. That's good stuff. Yeah!

[Rooster crows]

Yes! Normal temperature.



And that is a new record!

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Doing the robot.

I am awesome!

See, scaredy?

A mother always knows best!

When you're right you're right,

And you, donna, were right!

Like a healing ninja!

Oopsie! I'll clean this- achoo!

Uh-oh! Looks like my nurse has become another patient.

What? No. It's just the- achoo!

It's the pepper. It's just the- achooo!

Since you helped my plump plump dumpling get better,

The least I can do is stick around

To take care of you.

Oh no! Please! No! No! Achooooo!

Donna: we'd better get some mud on you!

David, go make the gravy!

You got it, mom.

It's just the pepper! Achoooooo!

Wait! No! Agh-chooo!

It's the pepper! Don't!

Donna: "bananas up your nose takes away your woes."

"If health is your wish, get slapped with a fish."

"Eat dirty socks from a trough to cure your cough."

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Earlier, we talked about vitamins

And the many uses they-

Watching cartoons make you feel better.

It's totally true.

What? There's no scientific evidence to back that up

And the topic today is-

Dave: that's because the man is trying to keep us down!

The man? What man?

The man.

The man who does the stuff that keeps you down.

You're scaring me a little right now.

Yeah, you are.

Cartoons not only make the world a better place,

They will make your hair thicker

And your breath smell nicier.

Scaredy: okay, hold on!

You can't promise things that aren't true!

You're gonna get us in trouble!

You want trouble?! Stop watching cartoons!

You'll get cavities!

Scaredy: uh... Thanks for watching. That's all the- agh!

Dave: cartoons save lives!

Ideally, in a 30-minute format,

But the 11 minute ones are pretty good too!

Time for luffa pete trousers.

Thank you for watching! Bye!