01x30 - Dibble's Double

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
Wonderful! Such line!

Such curves! Such form!

Beautiful!

TOP CAT:
Lines, curves, form?

Where, where? Where is she?

No, no, no, no, no.
The painting.

Look! That one.

It has a message. It speaks.

Don't you see what it says?

Sure. It says, "Don't drink
when you're painting."

This man has artistic
temperament, like van Gogh.

You know, the painter who cut
off his ear and sent it
to his girlfriend.

Oh, yeah. To ask her
why he hadn't heard from her.

Look, there's another, by
Prampolini, worth $10,000.

It's called #Lady in a Bathtub.

Did you say $10,000?

Yes, he's only a beginner.

Ten thousand dollars, only a
beginner. Wait till the g*ng
hears about this.

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat ♪

♪ Who's intellectual close
friends get to call him T.C. ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top cat ♪

♪ The indisputable
leader of the g*ng ♪

♪ He's the boss he's a pip
he's the championship ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ Yes he's a chief
he's a king ♪

♪ But above everything ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top Cat ♪

FANCY: You were great,
Top Cat, great.
SPOOK: Like, uh, what a race.

BRAIN: Yeah, how'd you do it?
CHOO-CHOO: Unbeatable form.

BENNY: Nice going, T.C.
FANCY: Yes, sir, T.C.
What a daredevil!

Now, fellas. Really, really.
It was just another race.

Uh, just another race?
You broke the track record.

Outstanding control, T.C.
Outstanding.

Hmm, brilliant might
be a better word.

Of course, some credit
goes to good old Bluebird.

All right, old gal.
Time to get to work.

-We're ready for the second
heat, T.C.
-Let's see you win it again,
Bluebird.

You sure got that turtle
souped-up, T.C.

TOP CAT:
Please, Benny, don't say
"souped-up."

Bluebird is sensitive
about that word.

Alright, gentlemen,
the bets, the bets.

Turtles, on your mark,
get set....

[DIBBLE SINGING]

-It's Officer Dibble.
-And us gambling.

Uh, where we gonna hide the
turtles?

Huh?

-Alright, we'll run through it
once more.
-What's going on here?

Hello, officer. Just our
regular civil-defense drill.

Alright, men, straighten
those helmets. To your posts!

-A drill, huh?
-Well, you know, eternal
vigilance.

And what do you call
this circle?

Circle? Oh, oh, oh,
well, that's ground zero.

I see. And the enemy
is dropping money, huh?

-Gambling again, huh?
-Oh, that's just a collection.

One of the girls in the office
is getting married.

That doesn't make sense.

I know it and you know it,
but try and tell her.

-Hey, Dibble!
-Yes, sergeant?

Report across the street
for guard duty at the art
gallery.

What's to guard
at the art gallery?

They just got a million dollars'
worth of paintings.

There'll be thousands of
tourists. Keep things in order.

One more thing. If you have to
beg on the street,
use your own hat.

[GROWLS]

-Is the coast, like, uh, clear,
T.C.?
-Yeah, can we have another race?

Forget turtle racing, men.
We have bigger things to do.

CHOO-CHOO:
Like what, T.C.?

-Uh, yeah, we was having fun.
TOP CAT: You heard the sergeant.

With thousands of tourists
visiting the art gallery,
what'll they need most?

-Eye drops?
-Corn plasters?

No, no, no, no, no.
Parking space.

A thousand tourists coming in...

...and we are gonna
rent them parking space.

-Say, thanks for the flower,
lady.
-Aw, don't mention it, officer.

Say, Dibble, we just had a tip
that Al the Actor's in town.

Al the Actor? The crook
who wears all those disguises?

Yeah, that's the one. He can
look and talk like anybody
he wants to.

He might try to swipe
some of those paintings.

-So keep your eyes open.
-Yes, sir, sergeant.

And get rid of that flower!

Yes, sir. Don't worry
about Al the Actor, sergeant.

If he's around, I'll grab him.
Bye-bye, lady.

Bye-bye, officer.

Uh, I wonder
what's holding up the boss.

-Uh, sorry, lady, but this
here's--
-Shut up, stupid. It's me.

GOON: Uh, no wonder
they call you Al the Actor.

Uh, 10 years I've known you...

...and, uh, you still fool me
with those crazy getups.

-Uh, what's the deal?
AL: The cops know I'm in town.

-Uh, that's not so good.
-Doesn't mean a thing.

I'll just change to another
disguise to keep them guessing.

-Uh, what you gonna be next?
-Wait and see.

-A dollar for parking?
-Right. How late will you be?

-Oh, I'll pick it up at 6.
-Right.

-Alright, who's next to rent a
car?
-Here's your $5.

-And here's your car.
-Thanks.

Have it back by 6:00.

Here's your car, madam.
Have it back before 7.

You're next, sir.

Alright, the cars, the cars.
Where are the cars?

Uh, we're not getting
any more cars, T.C.

Everybody's parking
on the street.

But that's against the law.
I better get Dibble.

TOP CAT: Officer Dibble!
-What is it? What's happened?

Parked there on the street.
Cars parked all over.

Parked? But that
can't hurt anybody.

It hurts me. I mean, it hurts me
to see drivers flaunt the law.

Aw, let it go today.
I'm after bigger game.

There's paintings inside
worth millions...

...and there's a crook around
who uses disguises.

And what's more, I got him!

[OLD MAN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

Ix-nay!

Ha, and now
for these phony whiskers.

[DIBBLE GRUNTING]

-Hey, Dibble! What gives?
-I got Al the Actor, sergeant.

Help me get his beard off.

[OLD MAN MOANING]

Ix-nay!

[OLD MAN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

Well, if that's Al,
he's a darn good actor.

[OLD MAN MOANING]

Hold it, Dibble.

That's Professor Zimback,
who runs the gallery.

Uh, ha-ha, uh, sorry, professor.

[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

Fathead!

Will you watch it, Dibble?

[SIGHS]

And he was right
about "fathead."

Well, don't look at me.
Everybody's saying it.

I know that crook's around
somewhere. But where?
And in what disguise?

Not that it really matters.

He'll never get by
good old Officer Dibble.

Are you sure the paintings
are worth dough, Al?

They're worth plenty.
And they're ours just for the
taking.

GOON:
How you gonna get past that cop?

AL: The usual way:
by a clever, clever disguise.

[AL CACKLES]

It'll be my masterpiece.

The one person in the world
they'd never suspect.

-Uh, who's that?
-Why, none other than...

[CLEARS THROAT]

[IN DIBBLE'S VOICE]
...good old Officer Dibble.

Now, all I need to complete
the disguise is his uniform.

Course, Dibble, this crook
may not be around.

How do you figure, T.C.?

Simple. The name Dibble strikes
fear in the black hearts
of the underworld.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

In which case, you might as well
go get those parked cars, huh?

I don't know, T.C.
The sergeant said--

PROFESSOR:
Wonderful! Such line!

Such curves! Such form!

Beautiful!

TOP CAT:
Lines, curves, form?
Where, where? Where is she?

No, no, no, no, no.
The painting.

Look! That one.

It has a message. It speaks.

Don't you see what it says?

Sure. It says, "Don't drink
when you're painting."

This was done by the master...

...Francisco Luigi Antonio Mario
Garibaldi Patchagaloop...

...van Fredorio Salvadorio
Ippolito.

Obviously a very big name.

This man has artistic
temperament, like van Gogh.

You know, the painter
who cut off his ear...

...and sent it
to his girlfriend.

Oh, yeah. To ask her
why he hadn't heard from her.

Look, there's another, by
Prampolini, worth $10,000.

It's called #Lady in a Bathtub.

Did you say $10,000?

Yes, he's only a beginner.

Ten thousand dollars, only a
beginner. Wait till the g*ng
hears about this.

Never mind the cars, Dib.

Just keep your eye
on those valuable paintings.

I wonder what's taking
T.C. so long.

Uh, he could be having trouble
with, uh, Officer Dibble.

If business doesn't pick up,
we might as well quit
this parking racket.

[CRASHING]

It's Top Cat.

To the alley, men.
Sounds like an emergency.

-What's up, T.C.?
-Gentlemen, I just
had an eye-opener.

[PANTING]

Say, I could, like,
use one myself.

I just had a look at those
paintings in the art gallery.
What a mess!

Like the guy just stood back
and let the paint hit the fan!

Excuse me, T.C., but shouldn't
we be getting back
to the parking?

TOP CAT:
Forget that penny-ante
parking racket.

Uh, that's what
Choo-Choo just said.

Quiet, Brain. We are
going for the big letters.

We're gonna sell us
some modern-art paintings.

-For money, T.C.?
-For big money, Fancy.

Even a beginner gets


-But we don't have any
paintings, T.C.
-We will in a minute.

Oh, Bluebird!

Ah, there you are, my pretty.
And where's your boyfriend,
Arthur?

Good boy!

Benny, go get some clothesline
and find a lost bed sheet.

-Right, T.C.
-Don't take any clothespins.

We wouldn't wanna do anything
dishonest. Chooch, paint and a
brush.

Coming up, T.C.

Paint and brushes.

All right, children. Go, go, go.
Make Daddy a masterpiece.

Up. Up to the left. Hold it.
Now down a little to the right.

That's it. That's it.

-Is it straight now, T.C.?
TOP CAT: Fine, Benny. Fine.

PROFESSOR:
And what do we have here?

An old master. Very, very old.
Careful, it may not be dry yet.

Hmm. Very interesting.
Is it Italian?

Is it Italian? Look, the artist
even signed his name
with spaghetti sauce.

-What is the price?
-Twenty thousand.

Twenty? But that's twice
as much as the others.

Yeah, but this has got
two coats of paint.

T.C., she'll see
it's painted on a bed sheet.

Hmm. This must be
the artist's name.

Uh, Fitted Bottom?

Right. One of the famous
Bottom brothers. You rember.

There was Sandy Bottom,
Rock Bottom and, of course,
Fitted Bottom.

But $20,000 is a lot of money.

TOP CAT:
Well, that's the standard
Bottom price.

Very well, I'll buy it.
After the exhibition, of course.

-That lady knows her art.
-She'll buy it?

-For $20,000?
-Yes, friends, and that ain't
turtle feed.

Now, uh, how do we get that cop
into this closet?

Just leave that to Al the Actor.

[IN WOMAN'S VOICE]
Oh, officer...

...would you help me
a minute, please?

DIBBLE: What is it?
AL [IN REGULAR VOICE]: This.

[CRASH]

Quick, get me his uniform.

[AL CHANGING CLOTHES]

Very well, the coast is clear.

Go get the car
while I snatch the pictures.

It was good of you
to bring the painting here.

I cannot thank you enough.

-Well, you just aren't trying,
professor.
-Your painting is....

-It's gone. It's really gone.
-It is rather crazy, isn't it?

-There has been a robbery!
-A robbery?

Your $20,000 picture
has been stolen.

[CRASH]

-Hello, Officer Dibble.
-Hot stuff. Out of the way!
Hot stuff.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Fancy, did you see a crook
go by with some paintings?

-No. No crook, just Dibble.
-Dibble?

-He did the robbery?
-Robbery? We'd better
call the police.

Uh, yeah, I'll go tell Dibble.

No, don't you understand?
Dibble is the crook.

-Uh, but he's still a policeman.
-He has a valid point there.

And just as I was about to sell
our picture for 20,000 bucks.

Twenty thousand?
For those turtle tracks?

And you, like, call
Dibble a crook?

[CAR BRAKES SCREECH]

-What's going on?
-There's been a robbery.

A robbery? I'll fire that
Dibble.

You're too late.
I think he resigned.

He wouldn't resign. Five more
years, and he gets his pension.

-He just took an advance on it.
-Uh, don't you get it, sarge?

Dibble stole some paintings.
He's a crook.

How do you like that?

Oh, this is terrible! Terrible!

There's nothing worse
than a cop gone bad. Nothing.

A traitor to all his brethren in
blue. But justice will triumph!

He won't get far. I swear
to you, he won't get far.

He's already five miles further
than when you started your
speech.

He went that way,
in a big black car.

We, uh, don't wanna
be too hasty.

I'll make Dibble turn in
his league bowling shirt.

The black car was driven by a
civilian. They were going,
like, 60.

A civilian? Speeding?
Why didn't you say so?

We've got laws about that.

[SIREN WAILING]

Uh, there he goes.

They'll never look for us
in this neighborhood.

What do we do now, Al?

Just wait till it gets dark,
then we get out of town.

Meanwhile, relax
and enjoy the sunshine.

Oh, what hit me?

Hey, what's coming off?
My uniform!

SERGEANT: I came back
to tell you not to worry,
professor.

The dragnet is out. Dibble won't
get far with those stolen
paintings.

If necessary,
we'll sh**t on sight.

Please, no holes
in the paintings!

Okay. Check with you later.

Stolen paintings? sh**t on
sight? And they're blaming me.

I gotta get out of here.

[HUMMING]

Uh-oh, here comes the professor.

[SNEEZES]

Gesundheit.

[SIGHS THEN WOMAN SCREAMS]

WOMAN 1: It's a man!
WOMAN 2: A peeping Tom!

WOMAN 1:
Get him!

[WOMEN YELL]

[DIBBLE GROANING]

[DIBBLE SCREAMS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

DIBBLE:
Help!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Help!

[DIBBLE YELLING
AND WHISTLE BLOWING]

But how could Dib do this to us?
Twenty thousand beans, pfft!

Maybe he needed the money.

Yeah, like, even a cop is
entitled to a little, uh,
dolce vita like that.

Hey, look out!

[CRASH]

-What--? What happened?
-It's Dibble. Call the cops.

-Top Cat, wait a minute.
-Where are the paintings?

That's what I'm telling you.
Give me a minute.

A minute? You'll get 20 years.

Somebody slugged me, took my
uniform, and swiped
the pictures.

It must've been Al the Actor
impersonating me.

-So where are the paintings?
-Search me.

That'd be a waste of time.

You gotta hide me till I get
a chance to catch that crook
and clear my name.

Sorry, Dibble, but it is my duty
as a law-abiding citizen--

DIBBLE: So I can get you back
your $20,000 painting.

Well, I'm not that law-abiding.

h*-hum.

Might as well get out
of this disguise.

GOON:
Uh, what's the trouble, Al?

That hot sun. The makeup
is baked on hard as a rock.

I can't get it off.

You mean you gotta
be a cop for life?

We'll get back to the hideout.
You take the paintings to the
car.

I'll dump this uniform
and sneak out through the alley.

Take a look at that map. We know
Al the Actor's somewhere in that
circle.

-Uh....
TOP CAT: What's on your mind,
Brain?

Uh, oh, never mind.

We gotta start looking
someplace. Where do you think
he is, Dibble?

-Search me.
-I wish you'd stop using that
expression.

Let me think. Let me think.

Hey!

No goofing off, Dibble.
We got work to do.

Now, get back over there.

What? Oh, sure, sure.

Now, where would I go
if I had just swiped a bunch
of--

Well, that's better, Dibble.
Don't try running off.

I wasn't running off.

We gotta use the old noodle.
Think it out.

There's 20,000 bucks
riding on this.

Dibble, you can't do it alone.
Now, get back over here.

-Well, that was fast.
-What was fast?

One minute you're over there,
the next minute you're..

What is it, T.C.?

That guy in the underwear.
Grab him. It's Al the Actor.

-All right, now, where's the
paintings?
-You got me all wrong.

-We have ways of making you
talk.
-But I'm Dibble. Don't you see?

That's Al the Actor.
That's the guy you want.

Nonsense. Anybody can plainly
see that he-- I mean, him--
Can't--

-Can't be you, because he--
-Now, wait a minute. I'm me.

-He ain't me. I am. See?
-Get him.

Now, let's work him over and
find out where the pictures are.

But I don't know. Look,
rub my face. This ain't makeup.

It is the other one.

Hold it, g*ng.

This is the real merchandise.
Now, let's go!

[BOTH JABBER]

Hey!

Now I got you.

[FOOTSTEPS]

[g*ng SLIDES IN]

[IN UNISON]
Grab him!

It's me. I'm Dibble.

-Now, this is a problem.
-What are we gonna do?

I know, like, uh, will the real
Officer Dibble raise his hand?

Uh, I know. Turn them both in
and get two rewards.

What kind of...? Wait a minute.
Yeah, that's what we'll do.

-We'll turn you both over to the
cops.
-No, don't do that.

No, I'd never get a chance
to clear myself.

All right, then we'll
turn them both loose.

-Now you're talking, pal.
-Why, you crook!

Wait till I get my hands on you.

You no-good, low-down,
double-crossing....

That's Dibble.
I'd know that snarl anywhere.

And now, will the real phony
reveal himself?

All right, so you've got me.

Cheer up. You came out
with a better-looking face.

-Now, look here, wise guy!
TOP CAT: But no sense
quarreling.

The main thing is now we can get
the picture and the 20 grand.

I want a paddy wagon
down here right away.

You won't get any dough
for your picture.

Wrong again, chum. There's
a lady all set to buy it.

[CHUCKLES]

You mean the lady with the fur
piece and the lorgnette, who
said:

[IN WOMAN'S VOICE]
I'll buy it. After the
exhibition, of course.

Then it was you!
Then there wasn't any--

Then nobody wants--
Then we haven't got--

[STAMMERS]

Oh, boy.

[TOP CAT MOANS]

Better send
an ambulance too, chief.

An art-lover just fainted.

♪ Top Cat ♪

♪ The most effectual Top Cat ♪

♪ Who's intellectual close
friends get to call him T.C ♪

♪ Providing it's with dignity ♪

♪ Top cat ♪

♪ The indisputable
leader of the g*ng. ♪

♪ He's the boss he's a pip
he's the championship. ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top cat ♪

♪ Yes he's a chief
he's a king ♪

♪ But above everything ♪

♪ He's the most tip top ♪

♪ Top cat ♪