01x09 - The Lost Ballpark

[bunniefuu]

Charlie Brown, has anyone ever told you

that you walk funny?You don't have any

rhythm. Your feet point in all the wrong

directions and your arms swing the wrong

way. Stand up

straight. Now move forward.

Walk the way I told you.

I still think it's a matter of rhythm.

Try it again.

How am I going to get home?Keep

working at it. I've done all I can.

What in the world are you doing?This is

called starting over right from the

beginning.

How much farther to camp, Sir?

About an hour, Marcy.

Sir, the kid behind me called me a

name. Tell him to keep quiet

or I'll crack his binding and dim his

outlook. You have a colorful way of

talking, Sir.

Sir, the kid behind me keeps calling me

names. Point him out to me when we get

to camp, Marcy. and I'll shorten his

lifespan. That's okay, sir.

I already hit him. Maybe he's hurt. Do

you have a first-aid kid?That's what I

hit him with.

This camp tower is good. Aren't you gonna

eat, Marcy?That same kid has been calling

me names again, sir. I can't eat.

He upsets you so much you can't eat?

No, I hit him with my lunch.

Boy, this is a life, Marcy.

The lake, the trees, the sky.

I agree. It's beautiful, sir.

By the way, what happened to the kid

who's been calling you names?That's him

splashing around down there. I

pushed him off the dock.

Marcy, you're going to k*ll that kid

who's been calling you names. You've hit

him with the first aid kit. Clobbered him

with the lunch tray, pushed him into the

lake, and shoved him into a patch of

poison oak. Have you noticed,

sir, that he hasn't called me a name all

day?Where is he now?He's in the

hospital tent.

You haven't heard what that kid's been

calling me, have you, sir?Well, you just

listen. He's right behind me. You

just listen. Psst! Hiya,

lambcake!Lamb cake.

Lamb cake. Marcy, you can't

slug somebody for calling you lamb cake.

What happened?Where am I?

Sorry, kid. My friend here doesn't

understand. I like your friend. I

think she's cute, sir. Don't

call me sir. All right,

kids, speak up. Why have you been bugging

my friend Marcy?Why have you been calling

our names?I just wanted to get

acquainted with her. I think she's cute.

He thinks you're cute, Marcie. Pound him,

sir. He's just being sarcastic.

All I did was call her lambcake. That's

true, Marcie. All I did was call you

lambcake. That's sarcasm, sir.

If someone calls you lambcake when you

know you're not a lambcake, that's

sarcasm.

Was I wrong to call your friend Lamb

Cake, Sir?No, but you're wrong to

call me Sir. I think she's

beautiful. I think I'm in love with her.

What's your name, kid?Floyd, Sir.

Well, Floyd, love can be kind of painful.

I found that out on the bus when she hit

me with the first aid kit.

Floyd seems like a nice kid, Marcy,

and he really likes you. I've

never owned a dog or a cat

or a horse or a hamster or

anything, sir. So I'm sure not

ready for a boyfriend. You

mean a girl has to have owned a dog

and a cat and a horse and a hamster

before she can have a boyfriend?

Everything in it's time, sir.

May I take your picture, Lamb Cake?Better

yet, let's have one taken of us like

this, with our arms around each other.

How about another one, Floyd, to show the

insurance company?

Good morning, lambcake. All right, Floyd,

cut it out. Can't you get it through your

head that Marcie doesn't want anything to

do with you?But I like her.

I think she's beautiful. Well,

Marcie,Wap him with a waffle,

sir. He's being sarcastic again.

I have to go home today. Will it be okay

if I write to you?You can write

all you want, but I won't

answer. I

don't know your last name. I don't even

know your address. That's the way it

goes, Lambcake. You're weird,

Marcie.

Was lamb cake such a bad thing to be

called, Marcy?What about

Noodleneck or Cement Head?People call

each other lots of strange things without

really being serious. You should

think about that, Marcy. I

will. Good night,

Noodleneck.

Hey, get up, Snoopy. We're going

truffle hunting.

There's no danger. Truffles don't

bite. Come on. Where are

you 2 going?We're going off to hunt

truffles. What in the

world is a truffle?A truffle

is an edible root fungus, a

rare delicacy. Truffles are

worth $200 a pound.

Truffles are hunted with either pigs

or truffle hounds. Which is

he?Your

job is to sniff them out, then I'll

dig 'em up. They say a slice of

truffle on top of Eggs

Benedict is infinitely

superior to a slice of black

olive. Keep sniffing, Snoopy.

If you smell a truffle, point to

where it is and I'll dig it up.

Do you smell a truffle, Snoopy?

If you find anything, just remember,

you're digging on our property.

I said, if you find anything,

just remember, you're digging on our

property. Actually, this is

my grandfather's farm. Gee, I

apologize, I didn't even think about

trespassing. We're hunting for

truffles. Well, you found

one. We did?That's

my name, Truffles. Do you think

Truffles is a funny name?No,

I think it's kind of cute. My

grandfather likes me. He says I am as

rare as a truffle, so he calls me

Truffles. Well, my name is

Linus, and this is Snoopy. He's

sort of an unusual dog.

Can you do tricks?

Hey, it's starting to rain.

Come on, there's an old barn over here.

Wow, look at it come down.

This is my favorite place. I come here

when I want to read or be alone.

You're right, Truffles. This old barn is

a great place.

Hey, look, it stopped raining.

Why don't I ride up to my grandfather's

house and get some cookies?I'll go with

you. What about your dog?Oh,

he's very resourceful. Don't worry about

him.

Dear Truffles. Dear

Truffles. It's a girl's name,

Charlie Brown. I met the neatest little

girl last week. Well, you'd better

be careful. You've left your headlights

on. You're

writing to Truffles, too?

Behold, you are beautiful, my love.

Your hair is like a flock of goats moving

down the slopes of Gilead. You

stole this from the Song of Solomon.

I saw that. You mailed a love

letter to Truffles, didn't you?Well,

Truffles doesn't love you. She loves

me! Do you understand that?

Come here, you stupid beagle.

I have an embarrassing and

humiliating problem. I

want to see Truffles again, but I'm not

sure I could find her house. I don't want

you to go with me, but without you, I'd

know I'd get lost. Now, what is your

reaction to my problem?

What's this?Dear Linus,

I'm sorry you couldn't have been with us

today. Snoopy and I had a nice

picnic down by the. the old barn.

Love, Truffles. You went to see

Truffles and you didn't take me!

Oh, you double-crosser! You cheat, you

traitor, you sneak!

Dear Truffles, I'm sorry that I

haven't been to see you, but I am not

sure I could find your house again.

I have a friend who could show me the

way, but he won't.

Some friends turn out to be

double-crossers.

I just have to talk to Truffles and

explain everything to her. She

has to know why I never want to see her

again. What do you do

when you want to talk to someone and they

don't answer the phone?Dial

louder. Hello.

Hello, Linus. I just called to

say goodbye. I'm not going to be

staying with my grandpa anymore. I'm

going home. But I never got to

see you again. I wanted to see

you, but I didn't know the way.

Somebody else didn't have any trouble.

You stupid Beagle. You

broke up my romance before it even got

started. Why can't you dogs

help people instead of being such a

nuisance?You never loved

truffles the way I did. I loved her

as a person. You only went to see

her because she gave you cookies.

Don't expect too much from me today,

Charlie Brown. I'm the victim of a

short and sad love affair.

It's hard to catch a line drive when you

have tears in your eyes.

Get it, Linus. It's coming to you.

I've got it. At least I think I got

it. Who knows?

Actually, who cares?When you've

lost at love, you've lost at everything.

Nothing else matters.

I've got it. You've got it.

Nobody's got it. We all lose in

the end. I can't

stand it. I just can't stand

it.

Tomorrow is our biggest game of the

season. I'm going to pitch my heart out.

I'm not going to make a single mistake.

I'm not going to allow a single hit. I'm

not going to allow a single run. I'm

not going to make a single error.

I'm not going to sleep all night.

Hello. Hello,

Sally. Has Charlie Brown left for the

game yet?I have to talk to him.

Something terrible has happened. Is

this just an excuse to talk to me,

Sweet Baboo?Have you really called to ask

me to go to the movies?

I can't stand it.

Snoopy, has Charlie Brown left for the

ball game yet?Something

terrible has happened. I've got to find

him. Lucy, have you

seen Charlie Brown?I'm trying to find

him before he gets to the ball field.

Something terrible has happened.

Like what?Did the other team show up?

Hi, Charlie Brown. I got here to the

field before you to prepare you for the

shock. Something

terrible has happened.

What's this?It's the owner,

Charlie Brown. He was told not to let

us play ball on his vacant lot

anymore. They said if one of

us got hurt, he might be liable.

What's happening to the world?

I have more bad news for you, Charlie

Brown. Old Mr. Melendez can't

be our umpire anymore. But he's

retired. He enjoys doing it.

They say our umpires have to be

registered. And they have to be

paid. Also, our drinking

fountain is the wrong height.

I wonder if we could play our games at

the schoolyard. I don't think so.

No one is allowed on the playground after

school is out. How about the City

Park?Only if we pay $20

apiece and join the league.

What happened to fun?Our

insurance doesn't cover it. I wonder

what the rest of our team will say when

they find out we have no place to play.

Some of them won't even know the

difference.

They won't let you play baseball on that

vacant lot anymore. That's

ridiculous. You know what you

need?You need a good attorney.

I said a good attorney.

I'm going to help you with your baseball

problem, Big Brother. I'm writing a

letter to Joe

Garagiagiagiagiola.

Garagiola. Whatever.

But don't worry. I'm also writing to

Joe DiMaggio-Maggio-Maggio-Maggio.

Hey, Chuck. I hear your team can't play

baseball in their vacant lot anymore.

That's right. We're not allowed to do

anything that might be fun. Well, the way

your team played, Chuck, it wasn't much

fun anyway, was it?I'm sorry.

The number you have dialed is not in

service at this time.

Now that we don't have a field to play

baseball on, I have to bounce a golf

ball against the steps. It's not quite

the same though, is it?

Pretty much. It's the

last of the ninth. The bases are

loaded. Count is 3 and two

and Ace Brown delivers.

Even my imagination is against me.

We can't play ball in the vacant lot

anymore because the owner's afraid his

insurance might not cover us. Also, our

umpire wasn't sanctioned and our

player's bench. Hadn't been approved by

the Design Review Committee. So now you

spend your time just bouncing a golf ball

against the steps, huh, Charles?

Until a minute ago.

They took away your baseball field,

Charles, and you're not doing anything

about it?Is this how you're fighting

back?By bouncing that stupid golf

ball against those stupid steps?

What do you expect me to do?Don't

scream, Charles. It's embarrassing.

I find it difficult to believe that

someone I am very fond of could be

acting this way. You're fond of

me?Kiss her, you

blockhead! I've always been

fond of you, Charles. I think you're the

nicest person I've ever known.

I hate to see you suffer all the time.

I know you could never love someone like

me who wears glasses, so

I'll just leave you alone.

I think I just made a total fool of

myself, sir. I told Chuck

I liked him, and I kissed him on the

cheek. It was his own fault,

sir. They've taken his baseball field

from him, and he hasn't done anything

about it. He's not fighting back.

He made me so mad, I told

him I liked him.

I think I frightened poor Chuck.

Maybe it's a mistake to talk so openly

about love. No, Marcie, no.

You're just being honest.

Really, Sir?I didn't think you knew

anything about love,

Marcie. I did it

again. You've made Marcy very

unhappy, Chuck. It's the last of the

nights. She thinks she's in love with

you. Ace Brown goes into his windup. He

pitches. I'm not even

going to tell her I saw you, Chuck.

Another surprise, Charlie Brown.

We can play ball again. A group

from out of town bought our vacant lot,

and it's all right for us to use it. How

did that happen?It was all

arranged by a clever real estate agent.

See, a group of coyotes from

Needles bought the vacant lot.

Spike arranged the whole thing.

What about the design review committee?

They can go to Needles and talk to the

coyotes. I love it.

I hear Chuck got his baseball field back.

I guess so. I haven't seen him

since I made a fool of myself. Is

your heart broken, Marcy?No,

but it sure is bent. It's

good to be back on the old mound. This is

where I belong, alone on the mound,

working out my destiny. When I'm out

here, no one can bother me. The only

thing that matters is the game.

My heart is bent, Charles.

Marcy, I'm trying to pitch. All

I did was tell you that I've always been

fond of you. Be quiet!

Can't you see we're talking?I never

meant to offend you, Charles. I think I'm

falling over backwards. I guess all I

really want, Charles, is for you to tell

me that you're not mad at me.

Oh yeah?Well, who cares about

your stupid ball game?Charles?

Charles, where did you go?Maybe

I was wrong. Maybe I'm not so

fond of him after all.