01x09 - Trout!

[bunniefuu]

We join our heroes in the midst of

astonishing peril, as usual. You were

right, little buddy. We should have never

swapped heads.

It seemed like such a good idea at the

time. Walk a mile in another man's shoes

kind of thing. Hello. We're doomed

here, big fella.

I can't get the hang of using your suit.

No, but I can. If you can just get

an arm free. Mine are yours.

Maximum suckage.

Come on, little chum. Let's get that

crazed surgeon to switch our heads back.

Yeah, my sutures are starting to itch.

I am definitely going to feel this

in that morning.

Earthworm Jim. The soil he did crawl.

Earthworm Jim. A super, super fall. Jim

was just a dirt eating chewy length of

worm flesh. But all that came to a crash

again. Earthworm Jim. He's such

a groovy guy. Earthworm Jim. He rockets

through the sky. Groovy through the

universe, having lots of fun. Here comes

Earthworm Jim. You know that he's a

mighty one.

Despite his great big muscles And his

really big gray g*n Jim is still an

earthworm But then he's the only one With

a super suit to make him really, super

strong Jim can be a winner if we only

sing along All right Earthworm Jim We

think he's mighty fine Earthworm Jim A

hero for all time Earthworm,

earthworm, earthworm Earthworm, earthworm

Jim

hmm

Good dirt today. Fresh.

Check it out, Jim. I got a card from my

Uncle Rex. I thought

you were the only dog in the world who

could write. I am. Listen to this.

Dear Peter, I find bone, bone

good, arf. You call that writing?Come

on, he even spelled arf wrong. By the

chickens of Ken, a

giant fair barren trout!

Oh, it's a fake. Clearly the work of

someone with scissors and glue and too

much free time. I must see this elusive

creature with mine own eyes. YouI

don't know what this means, fuzz buddy.

Oh, no. Oh, yes. Road

trip!

You must not fear fears, the mind k*ller

fears, the little death... This is great,

huh, little buddy?

Meanwhile, Professor Monkey for a head is

presenting his latest universe-conquering

weapon to queen pulsating, bloated,

festering, sweaty, pus-filled, malformed

slug for a buttBehold, queen

pulsating something something for a butt

It looks like a banana. I know. For

some reason I can't get that shape out of

my head. But it works, I did

it, I assure you.

It is powered by the rarest of all

substances, fish hair.

Bah! Fish don't have hair!

One does the legendary giant

fur-bearing trout of Earth!

I shall go to Earth and retrieve this

fabulous trout myself. Soon

the universe will be

mine!

I must get that fish before my twisted

sister does, or the universe is doomed.

Our staunch heroes take advantage of

their crest to view the many wonders of

the open road. If we don't slow down,

we're going to view the many wonders of

my breakfast. First up, the Enchanted

Snail Petting Zoo. Ooh, aren't we a

good snail?Yes, we are a good snail.

Aren't we?

No! I think they like you, Peter. They're

devouring my flesh!

Well, that just about proves it.

Next, the world's biggest scam.

In all my years, Peter,Never

have I beheld such glory.

Even my shirt pays homage. A finer

garment cannot be imagined. And dig

my Gabby Scabby doll. Pick me! Pick me!

And who could resist the Nutlog

Palace?

Nutlog!

I don't think it's meant to be eaten,

Jim. I think it's meant to anchor ships

in a heavy storm. And finally, the most

magnificent hole on Earth, the Grand

Canyon. Now, there's something you don't

see every day. First speed bump in the

northern hemisphere.

You take the picture, little buddy. I'm

all choked up. So much

beauty. And yet we are still no closer to

the giant fur barren trout.

Look! Fate has smiled upon us, my young

friend. This must be it. Ladies

and gentlemen, I welcome you to the barn

of Nature's Mistakes. But be warned,

the freakish horrors you are about to see

are not for the faint of heart. So

without further ado, I present

Nature's Mistakes. Ooh

Behold, the uncanny,

four-leafed clover. Can your mind

stand the horror of its many leaves?

Witness the astounding turnip that looks

kind of like Abraham Lincoln if you put a

hat on it. Regarde-vous,

the incredible air conditioner.

You see how it still works, even though

its warranty expired a week ago?

Ooh

Come now, ladies and gentlemen, I

bet you turn your wandering

eyesTo the barn star

attraction. The world's

strangest fish.

The feathered mackerel.

Well, that's pretty close. And there

you have it, ladies and

gentlemens. Uh, excuse me, Mr.

Ripoff Artist, sir. You keep saying that,

but there aren't any ladies around. I beg

to differ. So, Earthworm

Jim, you also seek the fur-bearing

trout, but you find only your

doom! Say, would you folks

like jobs?I could make a mint with a

giant worm, a talking dog, and a...

Big, hurty

leg.

There's so much evil in the world, Dad.

But where does it all come from?

Well, Billy, evil doesn't just grow on

trees. It has to be manufactured.

That's where our friend Evil the Cat

comes in. He personally inspects every

item to come out of his factory. Fools!

These are supposed to be homework

assignments. They must be impossible.

Evil is a perfectionist who has only our

best interests at heart. Mmm, these

vegetables are excellent. Thoroughly

inedible. Bring on the liver

and onions. Evil

spares no expense when it comes to

research and development.

This new item promises to be the most

evil thing yet.

Welcome to America's most lowbrow home

video! Yes, I am the source of all

true evil!

So you see, son, Evil the Cat works

tirelessly to make the world a more

horrible place. Gosh, he is

quite a guy. Is he not,

Pup?You

said it, son. That's why we must obey

his every command without question.

Obey him. Obey

him. Obey

him. Obey

him. Your training is complete. Now get

to the factory.

And now, back to Earthworm Jim.

Eat dirt, vile mend of old horror.

Malon! Yes!

Anvil!

Yes! Please, Toy.

Hold it!

They don't pay me enough for this.

I quit!

Now, where

were--

Everyone knows earthworms don't do well

underwater! Now I've got a hairy

fish to find. And a universe to

crush!

Now to break these chains.

Helium.

Come on, we've got a fish to find.

What?If the Queen is after the Trump,

then the sake of the universe must be at

stake.

And stop laughing at my face!

You're right. We've got to find the

trout. We'd better ask directions, you

know.

Excuse me, could you tell us where we can

find this fish?Oh, it would

be an honor and a delight to

assist you. Just go down to Route



I'll never play dance at piano again!

But those directions will

be my revenge.

You know, there's a tiny

chance that Cycrow gave us the wrong

directions. Yep.

Say, a bite of nut log would hit the

spot about now.

Boiling water ought to soften up this

nutty delight.

Impudent nut log. No mere snack is a

match for earthworm gem.

Eat dirt, obstinate roadside

delicacy.

You are a worthy foe indeed.

Well, call it a draw. Ah,

poor little guy had a hard day. He's all

tuckered

up. AhNutbug.

Wahoo! A dream sequence! Get Ruby!

Bring on that dance and go!

Earthworm Chill.

You must complete your worthy

quest. But how will I find you?I

need help! Help

wanted?Inquire

within. My my, aren't

we enigmatic?And what should I do about

the queen?Fear not, small

fragrant one. Those who

flow with the waters of the trout shall

persevere. Those who would use

the trout for evil shall be

destroyed upon the lathe of heaven.

Gosh, really?You betcha. Or the

bandsaw of paradise, or maybe even the

great cordless belt sander of Nirvana.

It's got three speeds.

Peter, wake up. The trout came to

me in a dream. No, a vision.

Oh, could he?The day has just

begun, and already your mind has snapped

like a dry and brittle twig.

Worm. You have two hours to bring me the

trout, or you'll never see the Princess

alive again.

My candied apple of ecstasy dangling

over a pit of rabid lawyers. The horror!

The horror! Hey,

she's wearing the outfit I got her for

Christmas last year. Aww. Help me,

Earthworm Jim. You're my only hope. Help

me, Earthworm Jim. You're my only hope.

Help me, Earthworm Jim. You're my-- I get

the idea! Like I need

more pressure here.

To save the Princess from the Evil Queen,

our heroes visit a place of legendary

mystery and enchantment.

The fate of the universe depends on

finding the fur barren trout. You don't

want the universe to be destroyed, do you?

No, I live there. Then tell

us where the trout is. Well, it's

just a

What manner of deviltry is this?

No longer can I live a lie.

The picture is a fake, a fraud, a

vile deception wrought by the

high-tech wizardry of scissors and

glue. There.

There is no giant fur parrot

trout!

Soon, Jim has fallen into a bottomless

abyss of despair. There is no

trout. The Princess is doomed. All is

lost. How woe is me.

Help wanted. Inquire

within. Inquire within.

Inquire within.

Inquire within. Of

course I must delve into my

subconscious mind.

Oh, vision most wondrous.



Crikes! By the great worm spirit,

whose entrails mortals are not fit to

lick, we'll never make it in time

unless we use the interstellar overdrive!

Buckle up, Peter. We're following that

sign. Uh, what sign?

We're almost there.

Hey, this is the place I saw in my

vision. The drought must be here.

ah

Again, Fate has played its sick,

practical joke. I am laughing

now! Hear me laugh, oh, Fate!

Not now, Peter, I'm laughing at Fate!

You have done well, my son. Now

evil shall fall before my might, as

it has since the dawn of time. I'll

have the fish. Eat dirt.

Noxious breathed. No, little bird.

This battle is mine. I

summon the cordless

screwdriver of Elysium.

Take that.

Always like before. Guess you're on

your own, worm boy. Toodles.

I could even up the odds. If only I could

destroy her mighty scepter. But it's

solid diamantium, the hardest substance

in existence. You mean,

the second hardest.

Come out and face your doom like a

big worm thingy!

Eat, not log!

Ah, my winsome slab of jollity.

Hi, Jim. Wanna trash, sis?

Go medieval on our slug buttEat

dirt, bulbous grotesque grace.

Space shot. Space

shot.

I'll have revenge on you all!

Once again, you have saved the universe.

Certain fish hair power do, oh

mighty hero. Is she gone?

Sorry about the whole screwdriver thing.

They usually run away as soon as they

see it. No sweat,

giant fur baron trout. Hey, how about a

snapshot?Groovy.

Is it raining?I thought I

felt something.