02x02 - Opposites Attack!

[bunniefuu]

As our story begins, our heroes are at

the mercy of evil Jim.

Mike Bruno laser. She'll age you 80 years

in an instant. Don't

worry, Peter. With great age comes great

wisdom. We will doubtless devise a

brilliant plan within moments.

Yes! We now have a weapon Evil Jim

cannot withstand.

Stop! You're sh**ting me to death! I have

more than I can...stand!

History is hard! And much

more! I think I just made a foo-foo in my

diet. Earthworm

Jim The soil he did crawl Earthworm Jim

A super suit did fall Jim was just a dirt

Eating chewy length of worm flesh But all

that came to a crash again Earthworm Jim

He's such a groovy guy Earthworm Jim He

rockets through the sky Cruising through

the universe, having lots of fun Here

comes Earthworm Jim, you know that he's a

mighty one

Despite his great big muscles And his

really big gray g*n Jim is still an

earthworm But then he's the only one With

a super suit to make him really super

strong Jim can be a winner if we only

sing about right! Earthworm Jim! We think

he's mighty fine Earthworm Jim! A hero

for all time! Earthworm, earthworm,

earthworm, earthworm Jim Whoa wait forJim!

Groovy!

It's a typical day at home for our

heroes. Jim knits a little present for

Princess what's-her-name. And penne

warmers. While Peter

obsessively cleans everything in sight.

I'm not obsessive. It's just that there

are germs everywhere. Everywhere, I tell

you! Lying in wait! Ready to pounce!

Peter. Do you ever think it's strange, a

giant worm and a talking dog living

together?It's not so strange. There's a

warthog who lives down the street with a

talking eggplant. More chickpeas, blast

you! Chickpeas!

Chickpeas!

You're right, little buddy. The universe

is full of strange things. Don't

patronize me. Yes, strange things

abound. But none so strange as a

depressed supervillain, for even the

blackest heart can feel the terrible ache

of loneliness. Isn't it bad enough

Earthworm Jim keeps beating me?No, I

also got to be the only evil twin in the

universe. Oh, the agony.

No one to share my joys and sorrows. No

one to compare notes on evil twinning

with.

No evil racquetball partner! Ohh

I know! I'll build a device which will

create evil duplicates of everyone in the

universe!

At last! After many

seconds of back-breaking labor, I have

completed my negative synthesizer! It

will create evil duplicates of anything I

aim it at!

Ah, dead gummit.

Ah, here it is.

For 10 bucks, this baby had darn well

better do the trick.

What fantastic speed! A

perfect opposite duplicate of a snail!

I will have an entire universe of evil

friends, oh boy! But first,

I will destroy Earthworm Jeff!

Meanwhile, back on Earth,Uh, health

laws require that employees wash their

hands before leaving the restroom.

That's for sex. Good point.

Eat dirt, unhygienic lawbreaker!

Well, that'll learn ya. Our

waitress will think twice before

violating health laws again. Eh,

my Ambrosio sweetmeat?Oh, yeah,

great. But who's going to take our order

now?Hmm Who needs to

order?These free appetizers are great!

Hi, uh, Walter, your new waiter.

Please don't fry me like bacon. Oh, why?

It's my old cellmate, Walter. I see

you're out of the pen and making yourself

useful to society. Yes, sir, Mr.

Floss. Eat them haggis

nuggets, goody. Let me tell

you how they preparate it. Don't tell me.

You take the heart, lungs, and liver of a

sheep and boil them in its own stomach.

Bingo! But before Peter's gag reflex can

kick in, terror strikes the diner in the

form of... Evil Jim! Hey,

I know that guy. Hey, Evil Jim,

over here. Sit down. Have a haggis

nugget. I don't want to sit with you. I

want to destroy you by creating evil

duplicates of your friends! Oh, well,

that's different.

Now, out with the good twins. In with

the bad.

Just what I need. Another evil

twin. Aside from this, how do you think

our date's going?It's not a date.

We rejoin our heroes about to be

destroyed by their evil twins. Well, I

know this isn't a date date, but I

figured... It's not any kind of

date. Now, now, you two lovebirds will

have plenty of time for bickering in the

afterlife! Lovebirds?

Afterlife?Plenty?

Well, plenty is one of those funny words.

You know, you say it a few times and it

stops making sense. Plenty, plenty,

plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty.

See what I mean?It sounds like a

pneumatic hammer. See?You know, that's

very interesting. Destroy them! I dare

you...

Cat bang!

Not a pie fight. It

is evil beyond human conception!

That's not what I had in mind. I just

didn't want to waste a pie.

Hoggis Nuggets, my favorite.

Evil twin, huhDoes that mean you're gonna

fight dirty?

Ow! I'll take that as a yes.

Looks like it hurts. Not as much as this.

I beg your pardon?Of course! If I

become evil when I transform, you must

become good. Well put, dear

sir. Then you wouldn't mind mauling the

bad guys so we can get out of here?It

would be my pleasure.

I hope you won't be too terribly put out

as I... Maul you just a bit.

Good going, Peter! Uh-huhCan we run

from danger like pitiful cowards now, Jim?

You betcha, fuzz buddy.

All right, forces of villainy! Let's

catch those good guys! In a minute, big

boy. I'm not going anywhere until I

fix my makeup.

Be dear, wait half a second, okay?

You're a sweetie.

Oh, yeah. Perhaps the exact opposite of a

mighty warrior woman isn't going to be

too helpful. Later, in Earthworm

Gym's secret headquarters... This is the

first place our evil twins will look for

us. I must devise a plan.

Perhaps I can recall something useful for

my years as a student of the Waolin

Master. Hello?

That's the cue for the flashback.

Flashbetter.

Ah, Bunny Hopper, what

do you seek?Oh, great master. Tell me

more of the path to true wisdom. Though a

river may run fast as a horse, it

never gets anywhere. A

cup of water may be drunk, but it can

still pass a breathalyzer test.

No2 snowflakes are exactly alike.

However, they have a lot in common and

get along well in social situations. You

may have already won close cover before

striking. I'm a little teapot short and

stout. Here is my... You're nothing but

a senile old bat naked, aren't you?

I thought you'd never figure that out. If

you want real wisdom, you'd better talk

to one guy, Mr. Bonky, over there.

Mr. Bonky knows where it's at, baby.

When did you ever study with the Waolin

Master?Don't question

me. The important thing is... I have

devised a plan. We

must work together and split up. Work

together and split up?Yeah, he says stuff

like that all the time. Princess, you

take my rocket.

I'll take the worm cycle. Peter, you get

to be first to try the worm

pogo stick. Oh,

lucky me. I get the untested, potentially

dangerous vehicle. Good luck, fuzz buddy.

Good luck, my glistening pupil of

jubilation. I'm sorry our date ended

badly. It wasn't a date!

We interrupt Earthworm Jim for three

seconds of dancing turtles. Ya ya ya ya

ya! Ya ya ya ya! We now return

to Earthworm Jim, already in progress.

Remember, we're not running away,

we're advancing in reverse!

So, how does this thing work?

Meanwhile, Jim is pursued by Evil Jim on

his evil worm cycle. You'll never take me

alive! Probably not! Look ahead!

Mother McCurdy, the fridge is out!

Fortunately, the worm cycle is equipped

for such occasions.

Ooh, bad thing happened.

Elsewhere, the princess has the evil

princess pop on her tail. Oh, I guess

I'll just

have to use this big g*n thingy.

Just pull the turkey right. Uh

ohMy big nasty g*n. Where's my

big nasty g*n?

Hey, someone forgot to remember that big

nasty g*n.

Meanwhile, Peter and Evil Peter are both

having just a touch of trouble with their

vehicles. Will Jim plummet to his

doom?Will the princess sizzle like a

corn fritter?Will Peter ever stop

bouncing?We'll find out right after these

important messages.

Let's see, where would... Oh, all right.

Yes, right here. Peter and evil Peter

were riding out of control cogo sticks.

Gotta get you, Peter!

So, you're my exact opposite, huh

How do you feel about instant cappuccino?

I love it! You are evil

incarnate! Ow! Ow,

ow, ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Can't...

Stop!

Angie!

Meanwhile, the Princess and the evil

Princess engage in a rather one-sided

duel in the sky. I broke a nail.

No, no, no,

no Someone call. A hairdresser.

Your vanity has been your undoing

music.

Golly, did I win?Little oh

me?And finally, Jim

is still about to plunge to his doom.

All right, time for action.

Dang it, I was sure I had 'em that time.

Oh, my nefarious twin. Good once again

triumphs over evil, ehOh, you've been

watching too much TV. Hey there, hot

stuff. Want a date?

A date?Wow, you really

are the exact opposite of the princess.

You know the drill. Hand over the g*n or

your friends get it. Yeah, Yeah yeah

Consider the butt of virtue

properly kicked. Come on, guys. We're

going to create evil duplicates of

everyone in the universe. We need help.

Later, at the fraternal order of space

villains. So, you

want our help?HmmAnd what

will we get in return?You'll get

a whole universe of evil. But wait,

there's more. You also receive this free

gift. Oh. Ah,

yes. Your arch enemies are yours,

absolutely free of charge. All is because

of my amazing negative synthesizer.

Whoops!

Good twins?This could stink.

Just what I need, another good twin.

Careful there, dear. That thing could put

an eye out. Aye, I'm

Good the Cat. Will you be my

friend?Unlikely.

I shall, however, destroy you with an

acid furball.

Then I shall neutralize it with an

antacid fur ball. Eh, eh,

eh

Cursive! Cursive!

I suppose you're going to attack me or

something. No! This idiot grafted to

my skull is giving me a splitting

headache!You get those,

too?And does he chase after bananas all

the time?Constantly! He's incorrigible!

Of course I still

care about you.

If only we could get free, we could take

advantage of the confusion. It

isn't locked. You're a genius, my

frolicsome knapsack of daintiness.

Hey, you thing taker guy, your

PAL device is now the tool of

righteousness.

What is Jim doing?Oh, maybe

his mind has snapped. I mean snapped

further. Yeah. Of

course! If that device makes opposite

duplicates, and Evil Jim is Jim's

opposite, he's making a whole bunch of

gems! Evildoers, prepare to be

horribly mutilated! Um, I should warn

you, this is gonna smart like the

dickens. We figured. Eat dirt

unpleasant-smelling bad folks!

Well, Evil Jim is right where he

belongs. Serving a two-month sentence in

a minimum-security prison?Don't question

our system of justice, my little pinko

friend. All I wanted was a

friend. Someone evil like

me!

It's so sad. Please don't question my

masculinity if I weep openly.

Hey, you know what you need?An evil

cow. You fools.

I shall destroy you all, starting with

the lactose intolerant. Moo,

moo. Moo.