02x08 - Lounge Day's Journey Into Night

[bunniefuu]

Why are you waving your arms like that?

What?I'm on. On what?Oh, oh,

oh, I'm on, right?Well, why didn't

we join our heroes?Yada, yada, yada,

yada. Blah blah blah

blah. About to be fed to the great

sturgeon by Bob the k*ller Goldfish.

I shall be rid of my friend Jim, and his

sacrifice shall obey the great

sturgeon. Two birds, one

stone, scour, simple sack.

Got to. Think of a plan!

Only one thing can save us now. Dog

hair! Fortunately, Peter is aware of the

Great Sturgeon's nasty allergies.

All right, who brought the dog?Come

on, come on, come onFade him to the

Sturgeon!OK. I

almost got a plan. No time for that! Mmm.

A light smoky flavor with just a hint

of mint. Uh-ha!

I have the perfect plan. Squeezy

cheese. We'll put cheese in aerosol cans

and make millions!

Uh, what was my plan supposed to solve

again?I don't remember.

Earthworm Jim. The soil he did crawl.

Earthworm Jim. A super suit to fall.

Jim was just a dirt eating chewy wings of

worm flesh. But all that came to a crash

again. Earthworm Jim. He's

such a groovy guy. Earthworm Jim. He

rockets through the sky, cruising through

the universe, having lots of fun. Here

comes Earthworm Jim. You know that he's a

mighty one.

Despite his great big muscles and his

really big gray g*n, Jim is still an

earthworm, but then he's the only one

with a super suit to make him really,

super strong. Jim can be a winner if we

only sing along. All right! Earthworm

Jim! We think he's mighty fine. Earthworm

Jim! A hero for all time! Earthworm,

earthworm, earthworm, earthworm Jim! Oh,

wait for me!

Go Ruby

on the infernal planet. Heck, the

nefarious evil the cat sits upon his

dreaded throne, relaxing with the latest

selection from the Tome of the Month

Club, the Hunchback of Nostradamus.

Watch this. Two minstrels vile

shall come, there be none worse, and with

a cat shall end the universe.

Yes. It is my destiny to find these

minstrels and live my dream of

destroying the universe. But how shall

I uncover the location of these minstrels?

In his quest for forbidden knowledge,

evil employs the most fiendish device in

all the cosmos, a fax

machine. A quick note

to a script department of Universal

cartoon to provide an answer.

The minstrels I seek are at the

Embers Lounge. We're at this very moment.

Our heroes celebrate their recent victory

on La Planita de Agua.

Here's the teamwork, Buzz buddy.

Once again, the blemishes of evil have

been cleared up by the medicated ointment

of virtue. You're creeping me up, Peter.

The Ember's Lounge is proud to present

those shamans of song. Give it up and get

down with your bad self for Morty and

Eileen. Ah, thank you, thank you. You're

too kind, hey. Come on, enough applause.

We'd like to start off this gig with a

special song for all you groovy cats

called-- Hamsters In Love.

Little hamsters,

they meet one night. Yes, they

do. They wriggle their

noses in the

Oh my, say good morning. Hamster

Tim says to Lucille, let's

take a spin in my hamster

wheel. This

music is so horrible. I

think it's giving me a

nosebleed. Sing it, you

crazy hepcats. They're cute and

cuddly. But be

careful. They

bite. They bite. Now I'm

freaking

out in a rash. They sound like

real Gone Daddios to me. That's because

you don't have ears. Isn't that right,

Mark?Yeah. Excuse me.

Hello, if you would like to enter the

Earthworm Gym Trivia Contest, press

Why?Oh, yes! We're on our way!

Quick, Fuzz Buddy! We're needed at the

Galactic Heroes League!

No doubt they want to give me an award

for my heroic defeat of Bob.

Pardon me, ordinary citizen. Hello, I'm

not a cat, but a simple businessman from

the land you call Omaha. Oh, did I

mention I'm not a cat?

Hello, I'm a simple businessman from

Omaha. Any resemblance to a cat is purely

coincidental. I want you to help

me destroy the

universe! Ah, will a lunch be

provided?Uh, yes.

Sure. Oh, okay. At the

Galactic Heroes League, Jim and Peter are

brought before the High Council. Turns

his eyelids inside out boy, the

Hamsternator. And Zantor,

master of the flying toupee. Uh,

here we are. Earthworm Jim,

it has come to the council's attention.

Here comes my award. That Bob,

the k*ller goldfish, was actually

defeated by your sidekick,

Peter Puppy.

But I thought up the, you know, the

squeezy cheese. Only a true hero could do

that. In fact, our records

show that over 90% of your

victories have been due to Peter.

Say what?I'm sorry, Jim,

but it is the council's decision that

you. Are no longer a

superhero. No

longer a superhero.

No longer a superhero.

No longer a superhero. No

longer a superhero.

No longer a superhero.

No

Having been stripped of his hero status,

Earthworm Jim is now the sidekick, while

Peter Puppy has been promoted to

superhero. Peter accepts the mantle of

hero with the utmost seriousness.

Sproing. I've got the super suit. I've

got the super suit. You shouldn't play

with a suit, Fuzz, bud.

You can't call me Fuzz, buddy.

I'm the hero.

Well, fuzz boss,

the suit can be very dangerous. I've had

it a long time and its ways are still

mysterious to me. If my 4 hyper

intelligent brains can't figure out the

suit, then how could you expect?

Hey, I found the anti-gravity controls.

Anti-gravity?Since when?When look,

musical gelatin molds! I never

knew about this stuff. All this time

I was fighting villains, I could have

been enjoying musical gelatin. No time

for gelatin now. You've got to hurry

off to your other jobs. Other

jobs?Yeah. Do you know what being a

sidekick pays?Um..

I'll give you a hint, OK?

Nothing! So if you want to make ends

meet, you got to hustle, hustle, hustle,

boy. And so, Jim must work a series of

other jobs, including food service

technician. Welcome to

Burger Buddy, where it's yum, yum, yummy

for your tum, tum, tummy. Hey, I want a

tries with this, you dumb, dumb, dummy.

Infant care specialist.

Double duty diaper service here to pick

up.

By the great worm spirit who souped up

Corvette impresses all the girls. How can

it get any worse?Hang on, I got six

more. And of course, brain

surgeon. Nasal rotator. Stat.

Dryer. At

last. Success. Your

hair is perfect. Trey chic.

But what about my brain?

Oh, it's always about you, isn't it?

Finally, Jim's hectic day comes to an

end. Oh, home

at last. It's Bodkins.

I've gone colorblind from exhaustion.

Hang on. Oh no, not

again. Hey, hey, hey, what's going

on?The show's budget ran

out. That's the fifth time this week.

A couple of thou to Universal cartoons

ought to fix this.

Hey, Universal, next time I want a

receipt. Meanwhile, at the Ember's

Lounge, Evil the Cat prepares Morty and

Eileen for the song which will end the

universe. Here is the song you will

perform. I call it Don't buy a

calendar. Tomorrow's already gone.

Hey, this is bad. I mean, not good

bad like we do. This is really bad.

It's so bad it could destroy the

universe. Really?You're not just saying

that?As the disharmonious duo prepare to

perform Evil's song, Peter's

new Tome of the Month club selection

arrives.

Wow! The Hunchback of

Nostradamus!

Two minstrels vile shall come. There

be none worse, a cat shall help them end

the universe. Do you know what this

means?Yes! Evil the Cat is going to

use those awful lounge singers to destroy

the universe! It sure sounded heroic,

didn't I?This hero stuff is so easy!

Don't get c*ck, Dog Boy.

At this very moment, Morty and Eileen

await Evil's cue to begin their song. Um,

Mr. Evil, we're ready whenever you are.

What?Ohh Yes, Yes yes,

yes, yesLet the music begin,

and the universe end.

I told my baby, things are

different from now on.

Capiche?Don't buy a

calendar. Tomorrow's already gone.

You've got your troubles. They'll be

gone in a flash. Yes,

they will. 'Cause in the morning, the

universe, it's out with the trash.

OK, evildoers.

AyeYou look horrible. Be

hard, boys! Dig that crazy

bebop-a rhythm. You're too late,

Earthworm! Uh, something's

different. That's kind of a long

story. You got a minute?No, and

neither do you. The end of the

universe has come! Not

gonna last!

Ohh We are doomed!Doomed.

Hey, I'm the hero now. I get to say we're

doomed. Sorry,

Fuzz Boss. Go ahead. We are doomed.

Doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

Have the scenario doomed.

When we left, the universe was about to

be destroyed by the worst lounge act of

all time. Music making.

Rain swell like... big

swelly thing?Lucky thing I don't have

ears. I'll unplug the sound system, oh

mighty hero.

You force me to use the most fiendish

device in all the cosmos. A

fax machine?Okay, second most

fiendish. An industrial

floor!

will take the universe away,

smash the Milky Way, New York, London,

and Bombay. Make the

crazy old universe.

Here it comes. The end

of the universe.

Yes. Any second now.

The end. You betcha.

Ohh

OK, what went wrong?

Before the universe at last is whacked,

the minstrel shall sign a major record

contract.

Come, we have much to do. So

long, buffer boys. Just answer me one

question, you treacherous fiend.

Where's that amusing hench rat of yours?I

miss his zangy antics. Oh,

he's getting elocution lessons. The

ants in France stay mainly in my

pants. How was that, sir?

Tics, tics. You just ain't never going to

learn to talk proper like I'd lie.

Meanwhile, later, Morty and Eileen

audition for record producer JT Smiley.

Life is like a bag of ham.

It's full of fat, but good with

yams. A feast of love's what we

enjoy. Oh, great

Scott. This music is so bad it

could destroy the universe.

That's the whole idea.

Well, in that case, you'll want the

deluxe contract. We usually only deal

with world domination, but we're trying

to branch out.

Dun and Dun! Not

so fast! Goth! How

did you escape?I used my pen to

squeezy cheese to gum up the floor

buffer. Eat cheese,

pinky-tailed scoundrels!

My acid fur ba*ls will put a stop to

your meddling.

Ooh, quick, to the roof. There's a 10

gazillion watt PA system up there.

Superb! With that much power, my

song cannot fail to destroy the

universe.

Okay, evildoers! I go

bang bang now! I go bang

bang now?Yeah, it's my heroic

catchphrase. Needs work.

I'll keep those heroes busy.

You won't be going anywhere. Not once

you're tango-tized.

Music. Hypnotic.

Got to tango!

Me too, fuzz boss! Oh,

me too! Getting

weak. Tango draining

strength. You want me to lead for a while?

Losing consciousness.

Hang on. How could I forget?

Ooh, you broke free of the music's

hypnotic spell. But how?

Easy peasy. I don't have any

ears. I was just dancing because I love a

good tango. Now.

Let's go save the universe! Um,

OK, isn't it my job to say that?

Spoilsport. On

the rooftop, Evil and his lounge act

prepare for the song to end all songs,

and everything else for that matter. And

a one, and a two. I

told my baby, things are

different from now on.

Umm Don't buy a calendar, tomorrow's

It's already gone!

Boo-boo-doo-doo-boo--

Okay, evildoers! You're too

late! Wha-wha-what'd he say?

He said... The music!

Too horrible! Stop

me! Behold, the end of

the universe! She's so

existential. Thank you. Take the

universe away. Smash the Milky Way.

New York, London, end that cookie b*mb,

babe. Make the crazy

universe

go away. Oh, it's a bit disappointing,

really. I expected the end of the

universe to be more... Well, I don't

know. Dramatic or something. It's not

the end of the universe. The show's

budget ran out again. It is the end of

the universe. It is, it is, it is

Thinking quickly, Jim seizes the

animator's pencil.

Take a powder, cat boy.

Jim, you saved the universe.

No, Fuzz Boss. You did it. I'm just a

sidekick, remember?Jim,

take the suit back. I don't care what the

High Council says. You're the real hero

in my book. Yes!

I am once again the galaxy's mightiest

invertebrate! I

better write a check to Universal before

this turns into a radio show.

Later, once Jim's check has cleared, all

is right with the world. Ah,

what's the matter, fuzz buddy?Do you miss

being a hero?Yeah.

Well, back up, little trooper. Have I got

a treat for you! Um.. Oh, no!

Yes, yes They worked so

cheap I hired them for the show. Hit it!

Earthwarm Jim. The soil

heated crawl I can see him

crawling now, Eileen

Earthwarm Jim. The super suit

did fall.

Jim was just a

dirt-eating, chewy

length of worm flesh.

But all that came to a

crashing

end. Apocalypse, baby.

I told my baby Things are

different from now on,

Capiche Don't buy a

calendar Tomorrow's already gone

You've got your troubles They'll be

gone in a flash, yeah Yes,

they will 'Cause in the morning, the

universe It's out with the trash