01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

QUIETLY: "The air
bites shrewdly.

"It is... very cold."

And... bring in the
toxic cloud ghost.

Now wobble...

- ..and gentle hiss whisper...
- SOFTLY: - ..Hamlet...

- CAST SOFTLY: Hamlet, Hamlet, Hamlet...
- OK, Hamlet.

It's your father. But he's
dead, so it must be a ghost.

- Huh! You're very surprised, and...
- CAST SOFTLY: Hamlet, Hamlet...

"Huh! Angels and ministers
of grace defend us..."

CAST SOFTLY: Hamlet, Hamlet...

We can't hear you, Ben, love.

Ah, yeah. It's all the
racket with the metal sheet

and the toxic wobbling. Can
we take five, please, Wendy?

Yeah, OK. OK,
everyone, take a break!

And costumes in the basket if
you've finished your fitting.

I don't know why I can't have
a boilersuit, like the blokes.

- Oh.
- It's a post-apocalyptic patriarchy.

It's Menna's vision.

Wendy!

I don't want to do it
all loud and fake, like.

My Hamlet's got to be natural.

Like Marlon Brando
or Danny Dyer. Real.

I get that, Ben, love,
but we can't hear you.

Please, can we stick to
how we've been doing it?

Why don't we check with
Menna? She'll get it.

Director's vision and all.

Menna's in her office.

She was very clear she
wanted a bit of shush.

We can't keep disturbing
her every two minutes!

She deserves a rest.

She's given her life
for this theatre.

{\an8}Probable death by strangulation.

{\an8}Slight petechiae in the eyes,
and her lips are swollen.

{\an8}Sharp indentation and
bruising traversing the neck

{\an8}suggests ligature rather
than finger pressure.

{\an8}I love it when you
sound proper technical.

{\an8}Anything on what was used?

{\an8}Looks like a length
of rope or cord.

{\an8}Chaudhry! What do we
know about the victim?

{\an8}Menna Hughes. A retired
headmistress, property developer

{\an8}and bigwig in the community.

Runs the Hedd Wyn
Theatre Group here.

- Well... ran.
- Hmm.

A few of the actors were
out at the local cafe,

so only some of them were here.

Theatre doors were open, so
we can't rule out somebody

coming in off the street. Nobody
claims to have seen anything,

but they could be lying.
They are skilled actors.

I mean, one of them's
been in Doctors.

Mm.

So, not much to go on.

Oh, hello.

Did you know about this?

From Menna's solicitor. She
recently changed her will.

No, I had no idea.

But you were her assistant?

Yeah, but it's not like I
did everything for Menna.

Just her diary, admin,

running rehearsals,
washing the costumes,

- cleaning her house.
- I hope she paid you well.

It would've been an
insult if she'd paid me.

I got to bathe in her light.

- FALTERING: - She relied
on me and now she's...

- Oh, oh... OK, erm... Yep. Do you...?
- Thank you.

WENDY BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY, SOBS

Oh.

- Yeah...
- Thank you.

I suppose you'll have
to cancel the show now.

Oh, no, we can't do that.

- No?
- We sold all the tickets! The money's going to charity,

providing theatre
equipment to veterans.

Plus, this was Menna's dream.

Well, I don't know if
THIS would've been.

- No, but Hamlet was. - Hmm.
- Years she talked about tackling it.

If we cancelled it now, she
would turn in her... Oh, God!

WENDY GASPS

Oh, gosh, yeah. Big feelings.

- Can you?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

WENDY CRIES

Use this. You're welcome.

John Chapel! I was just, er...

..passing in the area and...

Yes, yes, the theatre
director, Llanfydan.

Yeah, wondered when
you were going to come.

Great! I'll just get
the files from the car!

- And I've got your Bourbons in.
- Ooh!

They were rehearsing a play
at the time of the m*rder.

Hamlet.

Ah, the melancholy Dane.

"O, that this too, too solid
flesh would melt. Thaw...

"And resolve itself into a dew!"

- You know Hamlet?!
- Yeah!

- And I can read and write. Clever little me.
- Oh.

Now, Wendy the assistant.
Something's off there.

Menna basically had her running the
company and her life for nothing.

I mean, what sort of a person

lets someone walk all
over them like that?

Good question. Unrelated,
but how are things

with your old friend?
Still avoiding her?

Things with me and Rhiannon
are complicated, OK?

You're not unlike Hamlet
yourself, are you?

Riddled with indecision.

I'm not riddled with
anything, thank you.

JOHN SCOFFS

LOUDLY: Now, our thinking is,

it was somebody in the
theatre company that did it.

- Ooh, let's have a look.
- There you go.

"A stripped-down production

"combining Shakespearean
text with contemporary idiom.

"Relocated to the last farm

"in a post-apocalyptic
future Wales."

You know, I like the
sound of this, Menna.

- She's pushing the boundaries.
- Back to the case, please.

Right. All right, OK.

Well, you can assume that
Menna had at least one enemy,

because they've put out an
urgent call for Claudius.

- So?
- It's the second-most important character in it.

Take it from me,
I've played it twice.

Hamlet, once.
Laertes... Old Hamlet...

And famously, Gertrude, in an
all-male touring production.

Yeah, I think I've still
got the lace bodice

around here somewhere.

I sense you want me to get on
with it? Yeah, OK. Erm, right.

Well, this obviously
meant a lot to Menna.

She wouldn't leave it so late
to cast an important part.

Their Claudius must
have left recently.

- Why? - And who?
- Well, that's obvious, isn't it?

All their recent productions
include Leonard Price. Oh, yeah.

He's got the eyes of a Claudius,
yeah. Dilated, deceitful.

- Yes, Chapel. That's him!
- Good. Well,

- I'm going to go and have a word with this Leonard Price.
- Hmm.

JOHN CHUCKLES

You ever think you'd ever
like to get back into acting?

Why did you pack it all in?

I just thought it was the right
time to retire, all right?

But you were in your prime.

I mean, I get it, though.

Better to leave at the
top, before you lose it.

Lose it?! Look...

..a good actor, a proper
actor, doesn't lose it.

No, it's like riding a bike!

You know, one that you
park every now and then.

Yeah, but your bike's been
parked for over a decade.

Your chain's rusty,
you need an oil.

And the less said about
the seat, the better.

PANPIPE MUSIC BLARES

- MAN: - Just a minute!

- All right?
- I am, yeah.

But Menna Hughes isn't.

- DS Mallowan, Trefach CID.
- You'd better come in.

MUSIC BLARES

Sorry about the volume!

I find panpipes very soothing!

MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES

Thanks! Can't stand panpipes.

They used to play them outside
Lush when I worked there.

- God, can you believe it's 13 years since I worked at Lush?
- Ah.

The delicate dance of time.

HE CHUCKLES

Yeah. What's that
smell? Is that hemp oil?

Sure. Hemp oil. Yeah.

Erm, you said you
were here about Menna?

Yeah. She snuffed it.

I mean, er... she's dead.

- m*rder*d.
- I know.

- Terrible.
- You were in the Hedd Wyn Theatre Group with her?

Yeah, we started it
together back in the day

when there were just a few
of us wild-eyed dreamers.

- Why did you leave the group?
- All things come to an end

and I'm not getting any younger.

HE CHUCKLES

Nah!

You'd already signed
up to play Claudius.

I, er...

I never could lie.

I blame my eyes, too expressive.

Menna and I fell out
over Chester, my dog.

About a month ago,
he nipped her.

And Menna, being Menna,
got all dramatic about it

and said he'd taken an
hanch out of her leg.

So, she chucked you
out the group for that?

Worse! She reported me and
Chester! Said he was dangerous,

and that I'd have to get
him re-homed or put down!

And now he's gone.

She exerted her influence
with the council.

Oh.

- I thought postmen didn't like doggies.
- Well, I did.

I couldn't stomach being
around Menna after that.

I do have to ask you,
where were you on Saturday,

between 11.00 and 1.00?

Oh, that's an easy one.

HE CHUCKLES

Same place I am every day
after I finish my rounds -

surfing on Traeth Olaf. I'm
what they call a silver surfer.

THEY CHUCKLE

There's a car park
ticket on the van window.

Was there anybody else who
might've had beef with Menna?

Well, there was all that
business with her holiday lets.

Someone graffitied the walls

and took an angle grinder
to the key safe boxes.

- There was Ben and Rowena, too.
- From the theatre group? - Yes! Yes.

They were buying a house. Menna
came in at the last minute

- and gazumped them!
- "Gazumped."

I always think that
word sounds really rude.

Like, "They're not just friends.
I heard they were gazumping."

SHE LAUGHS

You've been a great help.
I'll show myself out.

DOOR OPENS

No! That's the toilet!

Yep! I actually do need to
go to the toilet now anyway,

so, erm... Won't be a mo!

DOOR CLOSES

So, Linda, you hear
Hamlet come in.

Ketan, love, that's Polonius's
cue to dive behind the arras

before Hamlet infects
him with the bio-virus.

Do you mean like this? Ahhhhh!

Yes...

OK. Take five,
everyone! Down time.

SHE MUNCHES ON FOOD

Detective, can I help you?

Mm. Mm.

Sorry, mouthful
of fish and chips.

God, I wish there were
more murders by the sea.

I really love fish
and chips. Ha-ha!

That sounds callous. Erm...

I'm looking for Ben and Rowena.

Oh, they're in the dressing
room doing vocal warm-ups.

Huh! I'm in a flap, I am.

We've managed to
cast a new Claudius,

and we've only landed
ourselves a real actor!

I'm a real actor!

Sorry, Greg! Course
you are, love.

GREG MUTTERS

- WHISPERING: - He's not.

I mean an established
actor. Yeah.

You probably recognise
him, Detective.

He used to be very famous!

THEY CHUCKLE

John Chapel?

He... He looks vaguely familiar.

What are you doing here,
Mr Chapel? JOHN LAUGHS

Serendipity beckons, Officer.

JANIE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

What?

An urgent call went out for a
Claudius, and coincidentally,

I've been considering a
soft return to the stage.

And I thought this
excellent little theatre...

..would be the perfect place
to test out the waters.

- Oh! - Even though it's under such tragic circumstances.
- Yes...

Yeah... Erm, can we
have a little moment?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

WENDY LAUGHS

Jac! Careful with
the toxic grain!

What can I do for you, Officer?

What the hell are you doing?

I answered their call for help.

I think I can still knock
the dust off my Claudius.

I am THIS close to being
fast-tracked to my dream job,

and you decide to put on
a play with the suspects?

I thought I could be useful
to the investigation.

I could be your eyes
and ears within.

You can't be actively involved.

Oh, well... So, you want
me to wait at home, do you?

For your visits?
Until you need me?

- Like some disposable skivvy?
- No!

WHISPERING: Not
skivvy, you weirdo!

Like, I don't know...

- ..a computer.
- Oh, great! Oh, so, what do you do

when you've finished
with me, then? Unplug me?

Do you take out my hard drive?
No, this is the best way for us

to get the bottom
of this m*rder.

This is the best way for
you to k*ll my career!

Well, it's hardly a great
look for my career, is it?

Do you think I want to be here?

A regional amateur
dramatic theatre company?

I did 11 years with the
Royal Shakespeare Company,

for goodness' sake!

And I've told you, I
am completely retired.

Oh, fine. You're
here now anyway.

- I need to talk to Ben and Rowena.
- I'll come with you.

Yes, just to observe. Yes.

But try and keep it
quick, though, will you?

There's an awful lot
to get through today.

So, how long till the... pfff?

Sorry, don't know why
I mimed an expl*si*n.

The... The birth. The baby.

A month.

I think he's had
another growth spurt.

Wendy's going to have to
take that costume out again.

I can't be trussed up like a
chicken with a belt across my bump.

I don't care if I have to be
the first Ophelia in a kaftan.

- Ah!
- Not the first!

I saw a Hamlet set in
'60s California once.

A very Manson-family vibe.
It was bold but bloody awful.

Yup. Menna gazumped
you, didn't she?

- She gave you a right gazumping.
- Yeah. - No.

- It wasn't a big deal.
- It was a very big deal.

We've been living on a
caravan site for two years,

getting the cash together
to buy our dream house.

Then Menna comes in and buys it.

It's actually a proper
tidy static, not a caravan.

I've lived in far worse places.

I want a house, not
somewhere I can cook bacon

whilst sat on the toilet.

I keep telling her to
close the door, like.

BEN CHUCKLES

You must have been angry.

- Livid.
- Chill out.

I'm hormonal, I don't
want to chill out!

BEN CLEARS HIS THROAT

I wasn't angry with her.

Just... just more confused.

Well, now, this could be useful.
Channel it into your Hamlet.

Confusion, indecision, yes...

Can we save the acting
tips till after I've gone?!

Yeah.

JANIE LAUGHS

I've known Menna since I was a
kid. She was my headmistress.

So, her doing that,
it was just...

..just a bit sly, you know?

"That one may smile, and
smile, and be a villain."

Yeah, that's Hamlet on Gertrude.
This is all brilliant subtext.

JANIE CHUCKLES

Why do you think she did it?

What, marry Claudius? Well, there's
the million-dollar question.

- Lots of people think...
- Menna, not Gertrude!

Bigger issues going on here.

I don't know. She hadn't
been herself lately.

And not just beating
us to the house.

She proper yelled at
Wendy in front of everyone

for not sending
off some documents.

Yeah, me and Menna got on
all right, but even I know

- she was a mare to Wendy...
- Hmm.

..by taking advantage
of her very nature.

Hello! Sorry, loves, but shall we
get a shufti on with rehearsals?

- Erm...
- Oh, yeah.

Act 1, Scene 2, please!

OK, so, keep an eye on
Wendy and those two.

See what else you can find out.

Oh, you want the
computer's help now, then?

Don't make me restore you
to factory settings, OK?

I mean, the old rogue! We
were completely outraged.

He slept through the
entire first run,

then woke up and gave
us the best notes

we've ever had in our lives.

It's good to have another
professional actor in the group.

Er, Greg. I did a couple of
eps of Doctors last year.

Teacher with shingles.

Of course!

I thought I knew you!

Lovely itch work.

Thanks, John.

Wendy, you were, er...?

- Menna was such a fan of yours.
- Oh! - Your theatre work goes

way over my head, of course.

- You're not a fan of the theatre?
- Oh, no, no! I'm obsessed!

It's just Menna always said
that I didn't have what it took

for the serious stuff, so...
I was put in charge of pantos.

Have you ever done panto?

- I've somehow... resisted the urge.
- Ah. - Hmm.

You would make an
excellent Widow Twankey.

Thank you. All sadnesses
aside, of course, erm...

..you must be enjoying your
new-found responsibilities.

Yeah, I mean...

It's great to be able to
honour Menna's dream like this,

- but I'll probably fudge it up, so...
- WENDY LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

You shouldn't put yourself
down. You're really good at it.

- Oh... - Oh, sorry.
- Yeah.

THEY CHUCKLE

- Right, erm, better get on!
- Yeah!

OK, so, er...

Why don't we get
our new star guest

to do Claudius's confession?

- What, me? Now?
- It'll be like our very own masterclass.

- One of the greats.
- Well, yeah, erm...

Yeah... Just hold that
thought for a moment.

JOHN MUTTERS

You're an exciting
company, yeah.

Right, trying new things.

I think I'm going to
need some time to...

..to immerse myself
in your style.

Well, you're all experienced
actors, you understand.

As an experienced actor,
I get that, actually.

OK, guys, let's move on. Yeah.

Right. OK, er...

Ben, let's go with your first
soliloquy, and let's work on

- speaking up a tot, OK?
- Right.

- QUIETLY: - "O, that this too
solid flesh would melt, like...

"Thaw itself into a...

"..a..."

- Line! - Dew.
- He's got it.

Menna dropped the
vandalism case.

- She even came into the station in person.
- Right.

Oh, that's all you've got?

Oh. Ah, wait a minute,
I know what's going on.

Pretending that's
all you've got,

and then you're going to
tell me you know who did it.

- Love it. - Er... No.
- No? - No.

Oh, that is a blow.

I was really hoping you'd
have something tangible.

- This is all my fault, I suppose.
- What do you mean, your fault?

I put too much pressure on
you. Didn't stop to consider

that your previous cases
might have been flukes.

- They weren't flukes!
- It happens all the time. One-hit wonder.

I'm not a one-hit wonder!
I'm a nonstop hit machine!

Call me Alan Hitmarsh

- because this is going to be another hit!
- Hey, hey!

Something my old DCI used
to tell me to motivate me -

"I like you, Clarke",
he used to say.

"You don't get results,
you sweat results."

- Oh, so, you've ALWAYS been a bit sweaty?
- Mm.

What? No. No, no. In
fact, I'm not sweaty.

Kel's got me a new
roll-on, Barrier Reef.

No, what I'm saying is,
work hard, get sweating!

OK.

Now, your old-school
wrestlers, your Big Daddys,

your Giant Haystacks,

your Kendo Nagasakis,
that was real combat.

Can we move this along?

Janie, you free? Someone here
to report a vehicle theft.

Yeah, of course. Let me
just take a few details.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Er, my car's been stolen.
- Wow. Shame.

- Make, model?
- Yeah, Tesla. Model 3.

- Ooh, very nice.
- Shut up.

- Can you remember the registration?
- Yeah, I can. It's SL19G...

Why don't I deal with this?

- Mm-hm?
- Mm-hm.

This way, ma'am.

Thanks.

JANIE SQUEAKS

You've got the same
plates as me mam.

These are your mum's plates.

She keeps bringing me meals
round. Can you make her stop?

You can't stop that woman
from delivering food.

She's like Christian
Aid. Now, the case.

The only person I can see
who stood to gain anything

from Menna dying is Wendy.

She went from being a gofer to
running the theatre company.

Which she didn't want.
Wendy idolised Menna.

She was happy to be her doormat.

Well, maybe she'd had
enough and snapped.

The vandalism to Menna's houses,
now, that is interesting.

It's probably disgruntled locals.
It's not isolated to Menna.

You see it happening
everywhere these days.

Yes, but she told the
police to drop it.

Now, this is the same Menna

that had a good friend's
dog taken away from them

and suggested it be put
down... because of the rules?

Hmm. Well, maybe it was one of
them annoying, yappy little dogs.

- Wait, that was weird.
- What was?

Leonard still had the dog lead.
You'd get rid of it, wouldn't you?

Unless... you used
it to strangle Menna!

It's the right
colour, it's a rope.

You need to focus less on
objects, more on psychology.

Now, Rowena... I just
can't figure her out.

I mean, why is she
in the theatre group?

She's keeping an eye on Ben.

Yes, Chapel, yes, but why else?

OK, well, you should
keep an eye on her.

Well, that could be tricky,

because I'm thinking
of leaving the group.

What? Why?! You
only just joined!

Well, it's not fair
on them, is it?

I mean, I don't want to
outshine them. You know, it's...

It'd be like entering a Rembrandt
in a child's drawing competition.

No. Now Menna's gone,
Leonard can come back

- and play Claudius.
- You're just saying that

because you're scared
that you've lost it.

No! No. No, it's
just too amateurish.

We couldn't rehearse
today with Gertrude

because Linda had a
double shift at B&Q.

You can't leave until
we've solved this case.

You are going back
there, John Chapel.

- No, but I...
- No buts. You're going.

- It's...
- And don't sulk.

You look like an old baby.

Oi, Johnny Chaps! Chaps-o.

Tell me what you think
of this. HE CLEARS THROAT

QUIETLY: "To be or
not to be, like?

"That is the big
question, you know..."

Can I stop you there?

I do worry that the audience
might struggle to hear you.

- That's what I've been saying.
- It's what Brando does!

Makes them lean in.

But Shakespeare's all
about language, Ben.

Some of the most beautiful
words ever uttered.

- Yeah, that's what gets on my nerves.
- Hmm.

Not much sign of Leonard on
any of these posters, is there?

Lots of you, though, Ben.

THEY CHUCKLE

No offence to Leonard, but who's
going to sell more tickets?

Some old stoner guy,

or this super-lush babe magnet?

Hey! Come on!

You've had plenty of
time to immerse yourself

in our style now, Mr Chapel.

So, confession time,
you naughty sausage!

- Come on!
- Yeah...

JOHN CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

- Are you sh1tting yourself?
- What?

No!

Not at all!

I am sh1tting myself
slightly, yes.

That's so weird. You're,
like, a proper actor.

I'm not nervous and I'm rubbish.

You can say no.

No! Rubbish? No, oh, not at all.

But I still love doing it.
Oh, it takes me out my life.

I get to be someone
else for a bit.

- It's just like an escape.
- Yeah, I get that, of course.

Yeah, erm... But it's... a bit
more complicated than that.

Is it? Or is it just a bunch
of grown-ups dressing up

and mucking about?

BOTH CHUCKLE

I suppose it is,
yeah, ultimately.

So exciting!

How come there's no costumes?

I need to rehearse
my quick change.

Oh! They're still round mine.
What with all the hoo-ha,

I just haven't had a chance
to wash them all yet.

Huh! Right, Claudius!

Mr Chapel!

Act 3, Scene 3.

Right, yeah, erm...

Oh.

"I like him not.

"Er, nor...

"Er, nor stands it safe with us

"to let his madness range!"

- There's no body!
- No, spoons.

For the eye bags.

Now, preliminary reports
are back on Menna Hughes.

- Cause of death?
- Definitely strangulation.

- Any news on the weapon?
- We managed to find microfibres.

It's definitely a rope.
About 12mm wide, black.

Do you think it
could be a dog lead?

Hmm. Maybe. Now, something
interesting turned up.

- Drum roll. - Do I have to?
- Yeah. - OK.

- Menna was already dying.
- Huh!

Lymphoma cancer,
spread to the spine.

Probably only had a few
months left at the most.

Also means it wouldn't have
taken much force to strangle her.

Your k*ller wouldn't
need to be that strong.

- Now...
- Hmm?

- ..how's my bags?
- Oh, my God!

- That's amazing.
- Innit? Spoons. - Wow!

"O, bosom black as death!

"That, struggling to be
free, art more engaged!

"Help... angels...

"Make assay.

"Bow...

"..stubborn knees...

"..and heart with
strings of steel,

"be soft as sinews
of the newborn babe.

"All may be well."

That's how I would
have done it, actually.

Fair dos, like. I mean,
that was loud but well good.

- Oh.
- I can't believe he's our Claudius!

I wish Menna could see it.
She'd be over the moon.

I, er... I just need some air.

Is Ben all right?

You all right?

Menna loved you, didn't she, eh?

Front and centre
of every poster.

Leading role in
every production.

That was more than a director...

..proud of one of
her company members.

She was your mother, wasn't she?

- No.
- What?

She wasn't.

- She always looked out for me.
- Yeah.

When I went into care,
she was all over it.

- Even more than my foster parents, like.
- So, emotionally,

you could say she
was like your mother.

So, I was right, but
let's not split hairs.

So, what happened, Ben?

You can hardly bear
to talk about her.

It was me... all right?

I graffitied her houses.

I was so fuming, I just lost it.

That was meant to be our house.

I didn't think it would
hurt Menna so much.

But Menna knew it was you.

She called off the police.

She wouldn't do that for anyone.

Just those she loved.

I just wish I could say sorry.

If you really want
to make it up to her,

I think the play is
probably the best way.

Shall we?

I don't know about you, but
I'm gagging to get stuck in.

THEY CHUCKLE

- Back for two, everyone.
- Oh, excellent work, Linda.

You know, I think your Gertrude
is going to be revelatory.

Very original choices.

And the closet scene with Hamlet,
oddly enhanced by your coughing fit.

Thank you, John. It just sort of
came out of me. It felt great.

Yeah, all right, I'll
follow you on. Janie! Ha-ha!

Oh, to what do we
owe the pleasure? Mm!

- Ooh...
- I need to have a word.

What, now? Ah. Can it wait?

No, because I'm
investigating a m*rder.

All right, fair enough.
What is it, then?

Menna was already dying.

Only had a few months to live.

She'd had treatment but it was
a case of managing the end.

Well, that explains
Hamlet! It's her swan song,

a reflection of her artistic
capacities. Life, death...

Proper theatre,
out on a high. Ro!

- Lovely work, darling.
- Thanks, babe.

- I thought you were going to quit!
- Quit? No, the show has to go on.

- Oh. I thought it was amateurish.
- OK, it's amateur, yes.

But the clue's in the word,
isn't it? Latin for "lover".

That's why people do this.

It's not for the careers
or the awards or the fame.

It's vital to them. They have
to do it because they love it.

Aww! Glad you got
that out your system.

Now, I've been to see
Menna's solicitor.

The new cottage she'd bought?

She was leaving it
to Rowena and Ben.

- Had it all planned out.
- Well, well.

Hardly the monster that
we've been fed a portrait of.

And get this -

she was leaving everything
else to one other person.

- You'll never guess who it is.
- Wendy, obviously.

What?! Oh, that's so unfair!

Can't you at least, like,
pretend like you don't know?

I'm sorry, but it's obvious

if you've been paying
attention to her character.

She will continue to care
for the theatre, her legacy.

- It puts Wendy in the frame.
- Trust me, I understand Wendy.

She's a pure spirit. She'd
be incapable of m*rder.

No, the only inconsistent thing

is the fact she neglected
to wash the costumes.

The costumes...

What is it? You've glazed over.

Recognise this?

- Er, it's a rope tie for one of the costumes.
- Mm.

It's also the weapon that
was used to strangle Menna.

It was found in your washing
machine. What was it doing there?

- That's where I wash the costumes.
- Hmm. - Whoever k*lled Menna

- must have put it in with the rest.
- Very convenient.

Getting rid of all the DNA.
Let me put a theory to you.

A few weeks ago, Menna decides
to change her will to this.

That's a sponsorship
form for a 10K.

To this...

..leaving almost everything
to her assistant.

Her assistant, who does all
of her admin, sees this will.

Sorry, but I had no idea.
Why would I k*ll Menna?

One, you had a massive
financial motive.

Two, the weapon was in
your house, and three...

OK, I've only got two, but
they're a really good two!

- I didn't do it.
- Why else would you put up with Menna

treating you the way she did?

Ordering you round, making
you do stuff for her,

you apologetic people-pleaser...

That's just the way I am, OK?

I always have been! I may
not be the most confident,

but we can't all be the
star of the show, you know?

Some people like being
in the background,

getting on with stuff,
making stuff happen.

I like doing things
for people! OK?!

Do you think it's easy
working with actors?

I mean, I love them, but
it's like herding cats.

So, you found a bit of costume in
the washing machine of the person

who always does the
costume wash? Woohoo!

I didn't k*ll her.
I loved her, so...

..so blow you!

I'm sorry.

Good sweat, Mallowan, good
sweat. Wendy'll crack soon.

- You watch. - If it was her.
- The m*rder weapon in her house

and a financial motive?

And why else would
she explode like that?

Because she wasn't a pushover,
and she didn't want everyone

thinking that she was.
She respected herself.

No, it's her.

Eh, this is a good day.
A m*rder cleared up,

and Kel's making
chicken pie for tea.

Eh, I might even buy a
scratchcard on the way home.

HE CHUCKLES

- Look...
- No, you listen.

- I didn't say listen.
- Don't interrupt me, OK?

I'm not standing
for this any more.

You might still blame me
for what happened with Sian,

and that's your call, but
it was a long time ago.

You made my life hell once,

you cannot come back
and do it again.

I'm not just some 17-year-old
girl that can be pushed around,

and I'm not going to avoid
you and hide in my own town.

- You've been avoiding me? I've been avoiding you.
- What?!

I thought you were angry at me, so
I wanted to stay out of your way.

Oh, come off it! How come I
keep seeing you everywhere I go?

I keep seeing you where I go!

You were in Co-op! I
know you go to those

fancy farm shops.
Co-op is my safe space.

Mam likes the
Co-op-brand Bourbons.

Well, that checks out, because
they are nice, actually!

The reason I have been
staying out of your way,

is because, look, I get it,
OK? God, you must hate me.

- I'd hate me. The way I treated you was awful.
- Yes, it was!

- I should never have blamed you for Sian.
- No, you shouldn't!

Sorry, I was expecting an argument,
and I'm still full of adrenaline!

- So am I!
- Maybe we should go for a drink sometime soon?

- OK, yeah, that would be really nice!
- We could try Diablo's? - Yeah, fine!

Actually, that's a little bit...

- Yeah, fine!
- Good!

Well, well done, you.
And well done, Wendy.

Wendy has to be prime suspect,

but we didn't have
enough to keep her.

It's not Wendy, I'm telling you.

You're just saying that because
you want her free for the play.

No...

..but I admit

she has blossomed into a
very accomplished director.

She's also blossomed into
being absolutely minted

- now Menna's dead.
- Wendy arranged Menna's diary,

so she must have known, from
all the hospital appointments,

what was going on. Now, if
she knew about the will,

she would also know that she
wouldn't have to wait long.

The m*rder weapon
was in her house!

Even though I was sure the
dog lead was our weapon.

Still seems weird.

Why would Leonard keep it?

PHONE RINGS

Chaudhry?

- CHAUDHRY OVER PHONE: - I've been
looking into Leonard Price's alibi.

The car park
ticket? Is it faked?

No, the ticket is real, but
he can't have been surfing.

The sea was flat calm that day,

and there'd been a sewage release
in the bay around Traeth Olaf.

Nobody was in the
water that day.

You all right?
You've got a very...

..deep cough. You might want
to get that checked out.

DEEP VOICE: Yes.
Thank you, Chaudhry.

LINE DISCONNECTS

JOHN COUGHS

- Sorry. It was a chip.
- OK.

When we get there, you
stay in the car, all right?

- All right.
- You're already tied in

with every other
suspect in this case.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

- Ah. All right?
- Not really.

You've been lying to
me about where you were

when Menna Hughes was m*rder*d.
You weren't surfing, nobody was.

- So, tell me where you really were.
- I'd rather not, if I'm honest.

- I think I can help.
- Whoa! John Chapel.

- Yes. - I told you to stay in the car!
- He didn't k*ll Menna.

And I know where he
was. Think about it.

The lead.

For what other possible
reason could he keep it?

Chester!

JANIE WHISTLES, DOG BARKS

Oh, h*-h*...

LEONARD CHUCKLES

So, the panpipes were
to cover his barking!

Yeah, I just couldn't
get rid of my old pal.

Look at that face, huh? I was
at the surf beach, though.

We've been driving
all the way over there

for him to get his walks

so that word wouldn't
get back to Menna.

Awww, you are a
good boy, in't you?!

In't you? Awww!

LEONARD CHUCKLES

Which one of you did it?

God, it would be good if
one of you answered...

HIGH-PITCHED: .. "It was me!"

Hmm, yes. Biscuit?

Oh, I shouldn't. All those fish
and chips I've been having,

I don't know if there's
any room in the inn.

- All right.
- No, I didn't say no!

Just need to loosen my belt.

What is it?

I know who did it.

"I'll have grounds more
relative than this.

"The play's the thing

"wherein I'll catch the
conscience of the King."

- WHISPERING: - Stunning.

And bring up the toxic sheet...

Three, two, one... Pans!

PANS CLATTER

Sorry to interrupt!

SINGLE PAN CLATTERS

OK, yep. In your own time!

CLATTERING

CLATTERING STOPS

Ah, I'm afraid there's not
going to be a rehearsal today.

MURMURING

- Or a show.
- What?! Why?!

I have an agent coming.

Not with a main cast member
being arrested for m*rder.

CONFUSED MURMURS

It's a shame - you all look
brilliant in your costumes.

How's yours, Rowena?
Comfortable with your bump?

Comfortable as I
can be, I guess.

Certainly more
comfortable than you were

when you were complaining about
being trussed up like a chicken, Ro?

Your costume doesn't seem
to have the belt any more.

Oh, yeah, I had noticed.

It's not there...

- ..because it's here.
- Sorry, what scene is this?

Are you saying I k*lled Menna?

Look, I know I might have
hated her for buying our house,

- but k*lling her, that's...
- Your house?

Interesting. See, with Menna dead,
it's set to become your house again.

She left it to you
both in her will.

She wanted to make it the
perfect family home...

..because she felt guilty...

..didn't she, Ben?

You what?

I've been doing
a bit of digging,

looking into your
social services file.

You were taken into care

after a concerned
citizen raised the alarm.

BEN SCOFFS

Just cos I grew up in care,
doesn't mean I k*lled Menna.

No. But she was the concerned
citizen. Your headteacher.

Probably why she showed
you such special attention.

She hadn't expected you to be
separated from your family, Ben.

She felt guilty.
It ate away at her.

Like shingles.

Even if that's true...

..right, that's the
first I've heard of it.

I've never even seen my
social services file.

I've never had the
urge to look into it.

You didn't need to.

Menna came to you.

My guess is, is that you were
helping Rowena with her costume

during the fitting when Menna
called you into her office.

She knew she was dying, but she
wanted to make things right.

She wanted your forgiveness,
so she told you.

OK, this is absolute nonsense.
There's no way Ben would hurt Menna.

- He thought the world of her!
- BEN: - It's OK...

- No, she was like a mum to him.
- BEN: - No, she weren't!

Oh... She wasn't, was she?

She was nothing
like a mum to me.

My mum was like a mum to me

until Menna stuck
her stupid oar in!

She told me everything. Said
she'd done it for my benefit.

She said she did
what was best for me.

But how would she know? I
just wanted to shut her up.

I still had the rope.

It was only for a few seconds...

...then I came to
my senses, like!

A few seconds was all it took.

Menna was already
weakened by the cancer.

I didn't know!

I had to get out of there.

I had no idea what
to do with the rope.

Then I saw Wendy
with her basket...

...and I chucked it in there.

You k*lled Menna?

I didn't mean to, all
right? I loved her.

My head was gone, Ro!

She took me from my family!

What about our family?

- BEN: - No...

Don't, please!

SOBBING

Sorry, sorry, everyone. I
couldn't get out on time.

I got stuck helping
someone buy decking,

and it just spiralled.

What did I miss?

ROWENA WAILS

This is my last fish
and chips for a while.

Mam keeps subtly sending
me gym membership deals.

- You're not too gutted the play's been cancelled?
- No, no.

Don't get me wrong, it's been
nice to be around a theatre,

but I'm not acting
again. I've done with it.

- I shall leave it to the happy amateurs.
- That's a shame.

You could bring back Caesar,

you know, with a new
young female assistant.

Sort of me-type. Ooh,
played by Billie Piper.

- Lovely eyebrows.
- No.

But I've offered to
help out at the theatre.

Wendy's putting on The
Importance Of Being Earnest.

I think I might workshop
it for them a little bit.

- How's the group?
- Shocked.

Wendy's been very good, though.

She's made sure the cottage
still goes to Rowena.

That's good. It's not
Rowena's fault that her fiance

went behind her back,
started k*lling people.

- Oh, Rowena knew.
- Hmm?

She didn't know she knew
she knew, but she knew.

- Part of her costume goes missing, doesn't ask any questions?
- Hmm.

And Ben's not a ruthless m*rder*r,
but there'd been sleepless nights.

I think she just did
her best to ignore it,

hope it would go away.

- Well, that doesn't tend to work, does it?
- No. - No.

Oh, well, I'm glad you
got back into theatre.

I was actually thinking,
if it's not too weird,

you might like to come
to the theatre with me,

sort of celebrate
clearing another case.

- Really?
- Hmm.

I'd love that.

- What are we going to see?
- Lion King.

What?! I'm not nine years old! I
thought you meant serious theatre.

It IS serious theatre!
It's Hamlet with lions!

I can always offer the ticket

to someone who isn't
an ungrateful arse!

Sorry, it's fine. Sorry,
no. It's, er... Yeah. Yeah.

Of course, I'd love to come.

- Love to, yeah. Can I have a chip?
- Absolutely not!

Oh! You really are a food thief.

- I'm not! - You're always stealing...
- CONVERSATION FADES