01x20 - When You Wish Upon a Squonk

[bunniefuu]

Billie, we're gonna be ready
for this Earth science test,

I promise.

Let's just go through
the flashcards again.

First question,
how is a tornado formed?

When a cold air front
collides with a wall of fire

accidentally conjured
by a wizard

who can't control her powers.

Incorrect and also terrifying.

Billie, what's really going on?

Sorry. It's just,

you know how I found this amulet
in that cave on my birthday?

-Yep.
-And it led me to

the wizard world
where I broke into the Archive?

-Yep.
-And it showed me a prophecy

that says I'll cause
the end of the world?

I'm sorry, what now?

But it's okay.

I know how to keep it
from happening.

If I don't do magic,
my magic can't end the world.

Justin's always telling you
not to do magic.

But now that you're telling you
not to do magic,

maybe you'll actually listen.

See! Everything's gonna be fine.

-[Theresa screams]
-Or not.

[screams]

[chuckles]
How did you get so big?

Who said my grandbabies
could get so big?

Oh! [squeals]

Abuelita,
really enjoying this hug,

but I'm also losing feeling
in my left arm.

I can't breathe, but I love it.

Mom, Dad,
what are you guys doing here?

We came to celebrate you
making the Tribunal.

Yes, we're so proud of you.

Aw, I'm just so excited

to finally have someone
to talk about it with.

I've been telling everybody
at work that he was elected

head crossing guard.

Doesn't have the same zing.

What happened? Who screamed?
Is everybody okay?

That was just a scream
Abuelita makes

when she sees her grandkids.

Or when she wins bingo.
Or when she sees a cute dog.

Or when there's a sale
on ground beef.

Starting to feel less special.

And you must be Billie.

Oh, my gosh, I've heard
so much about you. Oh!

Why? What did you hear?
Whatever it is, I didn't do it.

Told you she was just like Alex.

You weren't kidding.

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have
what you want ♪

♪ By the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes because ♪

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

-♪ What it seems ♪
-[♪ theme song ends]

Jerry, Theresa,
it's so nice to see you.

Aw!

Are you kidding?
We wouldn't miss

Justin's first day
on the Tribunal for the world.

Giada, I remember
how crazy things got

when Jerry was teaching
the kids

while we were running
the substation, so...

I just want you to know
if you need any help...

Oh, thank you,
but it's all good.

I mean, I'm happy
to take on a little more

if it means Justin gets to do
his dream job. [chuckles]

I just wish I'd known
you guys were coming to visit.

What do you-- What do you mean?
Jerry told Justin.

Um, yeah, I told him.
[chuckles]

A little help, Son?

Uh, yeah. Yep. He told me.

And you didn't tell me?

-Sorry, Dad, you're on your own.
-[groans]

-Milo, what are you doing?
-Bella Bianchi's coming over

so they can work on
their volcano project.

And she always surprises him.

But not this time.
This time, I'm ready for her.

Hello, Milo.

[shrieks]

I hate when you sneak up on me.

No, duh.
Why do you think I do it?

'Cause you're the worst?

I can't be the worst.
'Cause you are.

How did you two get paired up
in the first place?

All you do is fight.

We were fighting while
everyone was picking partners.

We were the only two left.

I'm so stressed out
about you-know-what.

I'm never gonna be ready
for this test.

I wish I had another day
to study.

[gasps] Like a snow day!

Yes! A snow day!

We'd have a whole other day
to not start our volcano.

And I'd have a whole other day
to not look at your face.

Guys, we're not gonna have
a snow day.

We get it.
You know Earth science.

No, it's May. I know seasons.

I mean,
we could have a snow day.

Wink. Wink.

Those winks were a hint
for you to use your magic

to give us a snow day.

Winter, I told you
I'm not using magic.

Oh, right. The whole you-might-
cause-the-apocalypse thing.

Guys, can we just
get back to studying?

I can't believe you're so chill
about the apocalypse.

No, I'm terrified
of the apocalypse.

But if I'm going out,
I'm going out with a 4.0.

[snoring]

Wow,
Dad's snoring's gotten worse.

Hey! Morning, Justin.

Dad? Wait, so that's Mom?

What's that?

I can't hear you
over your mother snoring.

First day at the Tribunal.
You nervous?

Well, it's 5:30 in the morning,

and I've been awake and showered
since 3:00.

So, uh, yeah, I'm nervous.

I'm so proud of you.
This is your moment. Finally.

I mean, I thought
your moment was when

you were gonna win
the Family Wizard competition.

Yeah. Not my moment.

And then I thought your moment
was when you became headmaster

at WizTech, but that was also
not your moment.

No, it was not.

And then there was that time--

Okay, I get it.

There's been a lot of moments
that have not been my moment.

But this is. This is it.
This is really your moment.

I hope you're right.

I know I am. You got this, Son.

Thanks, Dad.

Billie, wake up!

-Woah!
-Yikes!

Forgot you wear that.
It's not startling at all.

What are you guys
doing in my room?

-I can't believe you did it!
-Did what?

Come on, just admit it.
Yesterday you were talking about

how you needed
more time to study,

so you conjured a blizzard.
They canceled school.

What?

-I didn't do this.
-Yeah, right.

No, seriously,
I didn't use magic.

Well, then I guess it's just
an aberrant low-pressure system

lifting moist air
into the atmosphere.

Man, I was so ready
for that test.

Oh, man, the Tribunal chamber!

And I'm on the Tribunal!
[chuckles]

Ooh, gotta remember this moment.

Yeah, right there.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

[yells]

Is someone there?

Minister McFigglehorn.
[chuckles]

It's me, Justin Russo,
reporting for duty, or...

or work, or a shift.

It's my first day.

You don't say.

Listen, can I ask you
a personal question?

What was it like growing up
with Alex Russo?

Was it as fun
as I imagined it would be?

Oh, yeah. Some might even say
too much fun.

Ooh! I knew it.
Let's get you settled in.

This is the chamber.
Break room's over there.

And that's the globe
that tracks outbreaks of magic

around the world.

Oh, looks like there's

a suspicious magical
weather event.

Someone conjured
a blizzard in...

Staten Island.

Isn't that where you live?
[gasps]

With that powerful wizard?
The one that you're training?

Yeah, but Billie
wouldn't use magic

to conjure a blizzard in May

on the very same day
she's scheduled to take a test.

[chuckles]

Oh, no.

Of course not.
You'd never let that happen,

especially on your first day
at the Tribunal.

[gasps] Can you imagine
how bad that would look for you?

[cackles]

[laughs]

Whoo! I got an idea.

Why don't I zip on back
to Staten Island

and get to the Billie
of this weather event?

I mean,
bottom of this Billie event.

I mean... I gotta go.

Kids, I got called into work
to report on this blizzard.

I'm so sorry. I didn't have
any time to go to the store

to get food for breakfast.

Where did this come from?

Good morning, Giada.

[gasps] Oh. Theresa,
how did you make this?

Did you go to the store?

No, I just whipped some stuff up
from what you had in the pantry.

Mom, you got to try this.

Seriously, it's amazing.

Abuelita, what do you call it?

Eggs.

Okay, calm down.

I've made you eggs
tons of times.

I don't know what you made,
but it wasn't eggs.

It can't be that different.

Wow. What have I been making?

Oh, I'm happy to help.

I know you have
a lot on your plate.

I'd like more eggs on my plate.

We get it. You like the eggs.

-[phone chimes]
-Ah! I better get going.

I have to take the car in
for an oil change.

Justin was going to do it,
but he had to leave early

for the Tribunal,
so I said I would do it.

Oh, I can take it in for you.

Oh, no, really.
It's fine. I got it.

Just adjusting
to the new schedule,

but everything's all good.

Billie, where are you?

That's his happy
and excited voice, right?

Nope.

Billie, can you explain

why there's a blizzard
in Staten Island?

Ah, wait, I know this one.

It's air and moisture and...

Did I already say air?

Fine, I'll go back upstairs
and study.

No, no, no, no, no.

There's a blizzard
because you conjured it.

No, I didn't! It's pretty clear
I have no clue how they're made.

I saw it on
the Tribunal's magic globe.

I know you were misusing magic.

It wasn't me.
I haven't used any magic today.

Just... Please don't get me
kicked off the Tribunal

on my first day.

Or on my second.

Or just at all.

[toilet flushes]

Oh, hey, Billie. I thought
I heard Justin out here.

He just left.

And he's all mad
because he thinks

I conjured the blizzard,
but I didn't.

Then how did it happen?

I don't know,
but I'm gonna find out.

Ooh! Uh, can I help?

I'm on vacation and I'm retired,
so I got nothing to do.

Sure, let's go.

Yes! Something to do! [chuckles]

There's gotta be something
in here to help me figure out

who's using magic.

Ooh, got it!

The old "they who spelt it
dealt it" spell.

Can't use a spell.

Okay. Oh, how about a charm?

We could run the old "they who
casted it blasted it" charm.

-No charms.
-Okay.

Uh, how about a...
how about a potion then?

Yeah, we'll whip up a batch of

"they who juiced it
produced it."

No potions. I'm not doing magic.

Hey, I'm all for you not
doing magic out in the world,

but this is the lair.
It's okay to do magic in here.

But...
What if my magic goes wrong?

Like, really wrong?

Billie, if Alex didn't destroy
this place,

I think you're okay.

Plus, you're still learning,
and spells will go wrong.

It's not the end of the world.

It might be.

And how am I supposed to
prove to Justin

that I'm not using magic
if I use magic?

Ooh! I've got just the thing.

I got a spell sniffer
around here somewhere.

Now, where did I put it?

Kind of wish I had
a spell sniffer sniffer.

Know what I'm saying? [chuckles]

I'll just keep looking.

-Island.
-Table.

-Island.
-Table.

[scoffs] Are they arguing about
where to build their project?

How do they get anything done?

-They don't.
-They don't.

I wish this stupid project
was done already.

Wish. Wish!
Why didn't I think of that?

Yeah, why didn't you
think of that?

Wait, think of what?

[blabbering]

Oh, it's about time.

I got a wicked crick in my neck.

Whoo! That's better.

Hey, is this the place

you wanted me to fill
with c*ck?

-Never said that.
-But it'd be cool if you did.

Just wish for it.

Wish for it.

Wish for it, wish for it,
wish for it, wish for it.

Oh, come on!
I'm a wishing squonk!

Let's get weird!

Maybe later.

Right now, I wish I had
a model of a volcano.

Homework?

I thought you wished for
a blizzard to get out of that.

Is this whole day
about homework?

Boo, hiss!
That's right, I hissed.

I wish I had a model
of a volcano.

Your squonk is my command.

This is gonna blow Milo's mind!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. [exhales]

Told you I had a spell sniffer.

Now I just need to find
some batteries.

-[sniffs]
-Oh, it's working.

Hey, pops.

Squonk! Billie, we gotta...

I don't squonkin' think so!

[laughs] Whoo!

The squonk is out of the ball!

Time to get weird!

You get back here!
I'm coming after you!

Here I come!

You know what?
I'll catch you on your way back.

Well, I handled it.

Yep, that's right.
First day on the Tribunal,

and I took care of
a suspicious magical event.

You got rid of the blizzard?

No, but I gave it
a very stern talking to.

-I don't understand.
-All you need to know

is there will be no more magic
in Staten Island.

-[sighs]
-[beeping]

Oh, look.
More magic in Staten Island.

Oh, my. People are being
turned into turtles.

Someone conjured a volcano?

A volcano? Well, don't worry.
I'll take care of it, okay?

-I'll be right back.
-See that you do.

Or don't bother coming back.

-Is that a threat?
-No, it's a threat.

-That's what I said.
-Oh, sorry. [chuckles]

I didn't hear you.
Yes, it's a threat.

Good to know.

Curse sniffer.

Poison sniffer.

Truth sniffer.

And a punch card
for Sniffer Warehouse.

Man, I gotta give this
back to Jerry.

He's one punch away
from a free sniffer.

Billie, there's now a volcano
in Staten Island

and people are
turning into turtles.

You promised me
you wouldn't use magic.

-I didn't.
-Stop lying.

I'm not.

And I can prove it.

I have not used magic today.

[dings]

-Then who is?
-I don't know.

Unless I am doing it.

What if I'm losing control
of my powers?

-No, I'm sure that's not it.
-[buzzer sounds]

This is not good.

Like,
"end of the world" not good.

End of the world? You--
You mean like the prophecy?

-You know about the prophecy?
-What? No!

-[buzzer sounds]
-Okay, fine,

Alex told me,
but how do you know about it?

Does it matter? You've been
keeping this from me.

I didn't want to scare you,
okay?

I would do anything
to protect you.

[dings]

[sighs] All this weird stuff
that's happening.

-It's the prophecy, isn't it?
-Absolutely not.

-[buzzer sounds]
-Would you put that thing down!

Okay, look, I'm gonna go back
to the Tribunal

and see what I can figure out.

But hey,
everything's gonna be okay.

-I know it.
-[buzzer sounds]

Dang it!

Sorry I was gone so long.

[sighs] I hope the kids
weren't too much.

Oh, actually,
they've been great.

Oh. [chuckles]

Please, Theresa, we're family.
You don't have to lie to me.

No, no, ever since
they finished their project,

they ran out of stuff
to fight about. Look.

Bella, please, you erupt it.

No, Milo, you erupt it.
I insist.

[together] Let's both erupt it!

Ha! Jinx!
Double jinx! Triple jinx!

Why can't we both stop talking
at the same time?

[both chuckle]

You know,
I'm not going to question it.

I'm just going to enjoy it.

[chuckles]
So, how was your day?

Fine. Great.
Everything's all good.

Uh, I got the oil changed,
did my report,

dropped off the dry cleaning,
picked up a prescription,

and stopped at the store
for milk and toothpaste.

So... [gasps]
I forgot the toothpaste.

Oh, Giada, it's okay.

Okay? All their teeth
are going to fall out.

They're going to have no teeth.
They're going to go to school

with no teeth
and everybody's going to say,

"Look at those
toothless Russo kids.

All they can eat
is pudding and soup

because their mom can't remember
to buy toothpaste."

Be right back!

This volcano is pretty sweet,

but you know what would
make it sweeter?

Chocolate lava.

Milo, that's genius!

Hey! Oh, thanks.

I'm gonna leave again.
Don't read into it.

Uh-oh. He got out.

Do I want to know who "he" is?

-No.
-Okey-doke.

It's kind of weird to think

that our best friend could
cause the end of the world.

I mean, on the one hand,
I love Billie.

But on the other hand,
I also love the world.

That prophecy has to be wrong.

Yeah, Billie would
never hurt anyone.

What-- What if
she can't control her magic?

What if they're right?

[door slams]

Was that Billie?

Oh, no. No.

Billie, I... I don't know
what you heard,

but please let me explain.

[sighs]

Billie, wait!

Roman? Billie?

Who are you?

[grunts] Well, I'm a squonk
looking at a turtle.

-I don't know what that means.
-Hmm.

[cackles]

Well, I get the turtle part now.

Billie, I analyzed all the magic
that's been happening,

and it wasn't you.
It was creature magic.

[Jerry]
I could have told you that.

Dad? What happened to you?

I got squonked.

A squonk? That's the creature.
We gotta stop him!

-Uh, Justin?
-Right! Right, right, right.

[clears throat]
Un-turtleus Dadus.

[grunts] Yeah!

[groans]

Whew, thank you.

I've been running toward
that mirror for an hour.

-Let's go bag us a squonk.
-Yeah.

[sighs]
The store was out of toothpaste,

but it's all good
because I bought apples,

and they are
nature's toothbrush, right?

[chuckles] Okay.

Everything is not all good.

No, I got the apples.

Giada, sit.

[sighs] Listen. You and Justin
were working parents

raising two boys.

And then Billie came
to live with you.

And we love her.

Oh, I know. I know you do.

But she's one more kid.
And she's a wizard.

And your husband's a wizard.

And you didn't even know
there were wizards.

I did not.

And now Justin's
on the Tribunal.

It's another thing
I didn't know about.

Exactly.
Your life just got even crazier.

And you don't have to do
everything perfectly.

But you did.

Are you kidding?

I mean,
I just did the best I could.

I also screamed into a pillow
every once in a while.

[chuckles]

Ah, it feels good
to talk about this.

Why do you think I came here?

To celebrate Justin.

Yeah. And for you.

We're mortals who married
into wizard families.

I know what
you're going through.

And you can talk to me anytime.

[chuckles] Thank you.

[sighs]

I'm really glad
you came to visit.

Me too, mija.

[chuckles]

Remember,
if you ever need anything,

I'm just a phone call away.

Uh-oh.

[ringing]

Hey, it's Giada. There's a...

Yes, I see it.

What are you even looking for?

-That.
-Uh-oh.

Look! Look! There it is.

All right. Everybody keep your
squonks where I can see them.

Nobody moves,

nobody gets squonked.

What does that even mean?

I think you get it
from the squonk-text.

Bella, where'd you even get
a squonk ball?

I found it in my pocket when
I left here a few weeks ago.

I don't know how it got there,
but when I rubbed it,

that squonk came out
and started granting me wishes.

That's why you're
two inches taller than me.

-No, Milo. You're just short.
-[squonk chuckles]

Well--
Can we put it back in the ball?

Forget it. I'm never going back.

We'll see about that.

He squonked wand-y!

You're darn right I did.
And I'm just getting started.

I'm going to squonk you,

I'm going to squonk
the rest of the neighborhood,

and then I'm going to
squonker the world!

[cackles]

Bella, you have to stop him.

I don't know how.

I wish I could just forget
all about the stupid squonk.

[groans] Oh, man.

You just said, "I wish."

Fine. I'll go back in the ball,
and you'll forget everything.

Ain't that a kick in the squonk?

[groans]

-What is this thing?
-I'll take that.

Okay, Milo, I guess we should
get started on our volcano.

Oh, it's done. Because I did it,
the whole thing, by myself.

You owe me.

Hey, I recognize
that squonk ball.

It came free with purchase
at Sniffer Warehouse.

I used to have a punch card
for that place.

W-- Wait,
so that squonk ball's yours.

So, all of this was your fault.

It's-- There-- [groans]

You know what?

I think I've helped out
here enough.

We should be headed home,
Theresa.

What about your luggage?

We'll wish for more stuff.
Come on, Theresa!

Kiss the kids for us. [chuckles]

[sighs] What a day.

[sighs] At least things
are finally back to normal.

[Winter] Whoo!
I made it to the stairs.

Now, I just have to get
down the stairs.

Uh-oh.

-[thudding]
-[Winter grunting] Ow! Ooh!

A little help here?

Okay.

Ooh. Uh...

[grunts] Un-turtleus Winterus.

Ah! Hey, it still worked.
[chuckles]

-Thanks, Mr. Russo.
-Of course.

I have to go talk to Billie.
I have to tell her

that all that magic
was the squonk's fault.

The last time I saw her,
she was in her room.

But that was before
I was a turtle.

Got it.

And somehow,
Milo and Bella getting along

is still the weirdest thing
that happened today.

Billie! Billie, you in there?

Have you seen Roman?
I can't find him.

Where could they be?

Replay-us the day-us.

My magic is putting
everyone in danger.

I need to get far away
from here.

Billie, wait!

Where'd they go?

I don't know.