02x05 - Death in Small Doses

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic music)

(bells chiming)

(soft music)

- Leaving a position
where one has been happy

is always sad, madam.

However, the splendid
references which you

have seen fit to sign are
at least some consolation.

I would like to stay,

but I've always held the opinion

that a man in my
position should strive

constantly to be extended.

And I think we would both agree

that my work here is finished.

All that remains is to tidy up.

(ominous music)

(screams)

(suspenseful music)

- [Hugo] You're a widow
in a foreign land, Laura.

You need the protection
of the American embassy.

- You forget, I was born here.

- Ah yes, but you've lived
most of your life abroad.

You married an American.

You have no friends here in
England, no acquaintances.

You're a stranger here.

(doorbell rings)

- Since when did
strangers in England

need diplomatic shelter?

Charming though my
guardian would be.

- Not all strangers.

Just a beautiful, newly
bereaved millionairess.

I know George would've
wanted me to look after you.

After all, he always
admitted he was lucky

to have seen you six
months before I did.

- Hugo, dear, there is no
one I'd rather

be looked after by,

if you'll forgive the
undiplomatic grammar,

but it's really too soon.

I came here to get away.

Away from Washington, away
from people who knew me,

from memories.

Anything that might remind me.

- Oh well, you're
gonna be lonely.

- Oh Hugo, please don't think
I'm not delighted to see you.

I am.

And I know that later
I'll be glad you're here,

but just now, I want to be
amongst strangers, anonymous.

I want to become...

Here, empty for a while.

Does that make sense?

- Very well, but you do
well to remember

what they called me
in the service.

- The bulldog.

You never let go.

It's rather comforting,
in a way.

(knocking)

- Excuse me, madam.

There's a person in the
hall, a Mr. Masters.

Says he has an
appointment with you,

an interview for butler?

- Yes, show him in Betty.

- Yeah, well I'll be on my way.

By the way, if this
fella doesn't work out,

I'd be a pretty mean
hand a butling myself.

- Mr. Masters, madam.

- Goodbye, Laura.

Think about it.

- [Laura] I will.

- Mr. Roger Masters,
madam, at your service.

It was noon you suggested,
I think.

- If you'd care to sit down, Mr.
Masters.

- No thank you, madam,
I'm very well as I am.

- Well, I've looked
through the references

you've sent to me,

they're most impressive.

Tell me why did you
leave your last employer?

- She went abroad for her
health, madam.

However, she was kind
enough to write down

her impressions of me
before she left.

- Yes, so I see.

- Look after Mrs. Vallance,
Betty.

She's quite on her own,
you know.

- Oh, I will, sir.

Don't you worry about a thing.

- Your last post was
in the country, I see.

Will you like it in town?

- I'm sure I will, madam.

I'm quite accustomed to London.

- Well, I don't intend to
maintain a large establishment.

If you came, there'd be
yourself and a maid, Betty.

She also does the
cooking and cleaning.

- The advertisement
mentioned just yourself

in the household, madam.

- [Laura] That is so.

- Would it be your intention,
madam,

to have frequent houseguests?

- [Laura] That would be
very far from my intention.

- A staff of two would be
perfectly adequate, madam.

- I want quiet, Masters.

Peace and quiet.

Should we agree, I'll
expect you to remember that.

- I think I can promise
to provide that, madam.

- Is the salary satisfactory?

- [Roger] Perfectly, thank you.

- Very well, the
engagement is yours.

You may bring your
things this evening,

and start tomorrow, if you wish.

- I do wish it, thank you.

I assure you, you won't
live to regret it.

- You got the job then?

- I was appointed to
the post of butler, yes.

- I saw your references
the other day.

You move about quite a bit,
don't you?

- Mrs. Vallance found them
perfectly satisfactory.

- I never said she didn't,
did I?

- It went like a dream.

We're in.

- No problems?

- There's a maid who'll
need watching.

- [Laura] Thank you, Betty.

- He's the new butler is
he then, madam?

- Yes, I'm sure you'll
get on very well with him.

- He drives a bit of a flash
car for a butler, madam.

- Well, we all have our
little weaknesses.

Even butlers.

- Yes, madam.

- A cigar?

- No, thanks, Dad.

- I ran into Laura
Vallance today.

- Laura Vallance?

- Yes.

Remember Mrs. Vallance?

- [Piers] Laura Vallance.

- [Hugo] Yes, I mentioned
her the other day.

- Oh yeah, Washington,
wasn't she?

Married to that guy in
the state department.

- That's right you got it.

- Just bumped into her, did you?

- Yes, yes.

Her husband died, you
know, and she's over here

on a kind of sabbatical
to get over it.

- And that's how you
bumped into her?

- Yes, yes.

She's taken a house
near the park.

- Sensible lady.

And where did this
collision take place?

- What?

The, oh the....

Yes, I see what you...

Well, no she's, we met
over at her house.

It's rather too big for
her I would've thought.

Still, well, you know,
she wants seclusion.

- Pretty shaken up, I suppose.

- Yes, yes.

Well, I remember
what it was like

when your mother died.

It takes a bit of
getting used to.

I should think the best
thing for her

would be to get married again.

- Well, she was very
happy with whatshisname,

wasn't she?

- Now, that's the point.

It's the people that were
happy the first time round,

who have the best chance
of making a go of it again.

- [Piers] So, when's
the wedding?

- What?

- When are you going to
marry Laura Vallance?

Well, that's what you
were getting around to

in about two hours time,
isn't it?

- Why you cheeky--

- I mentioned her the other day.

Do you realize, exactly,
how many times

you've mentioned her recently?

- Oh dear.

- The house is too big
for her, if you ask me.

Too big and too quiet.

No friends, no relatives.

What she wants to do is
marry that nice Mr. Hugo,

and have a life again.

This is madam's study

where she does all the accounts

and correspondence
and such like.

She should have a man
to do all that for her.

- Oh, she has now, Betty.

Me.

- I mean a husband,
not a butler.

- What's in here?

- Madam's personal papers.

Bank things, checkbooks,
documents, things like that.

They're none of your concern.

- You evidently not been
in service very long.

The whole house and
all its problems

are the concern of the butler.

- Is that what it was
like at Cheavening Manor?

- What do you know of
Cheavening Manor?

- Don't know nothing about it.

Just saw it on your
references, that's all.

- Prying into other
people's affairs

is one of the little
habits you're

going to have to get out
of now I'm in charge.

(suspenseful music)

- Thank you, Masters, the
temperature is perfect.

I think we shall get
on very well.

- I shall use my very best
endeavors to that end, madam.

- You may go.

- Thank you, madam.

Goodnight, madam.

- Goodnight, Masters.

(suspenseful music)

(gasps)

- [Betty] Oh, you did
give me a turn.

What are you doing?

- On the contrary, what
are you doing?

- I've just been upstairs to
see if she wanted anything.

- Well, that's my
responsibility now.

Kindly remember your station.

- My station?

Where do you think you are,
Bleak House?

Queen Victoria's dead, you know.

Anyway, what were you
doing in there?

- I was checking the
doors and windows.

The security of the house
is my concern.

- The security of the house.

Creeping about like
Frankenstein.

It's enough to give a
girl a curly hair.

(suspenseful music)

(moans)

(whistling)

(buzzing)

(knocking)

- Come in, Betty.

Betty, this is most distressing,

and I hope you don't--

- Forgive me, madam.

I know how embarrassing
these matters can be.

The fact is, that a
valuable ring is missing

from Mrs. Vallance's jewel case.

- What?

- It was there when Mrs.
Vallance went to sleep

last night, it is not there now.

Since there are only the
two of us in the house--

(doorbell rings)

- Masters, I--

- Excuse me, madam.

That'll be the police.

- Police, I didn't tell
you to send for the police.

- I'm sorry, madam, but
I am at a disadvantage

in this matter.

I am the newcomer.

I, therefore, felt it
essential, in my own interests,

that the matter investigated
in the proper manner.

- [Laura] Really, it's
not necessary--

- If you will forgive me, madam.

- Madam, I swear, I...

- It's absolutely horrible.

There are police all
over the house.

The maid is miserable.

I should never have let
it get this far.

- Well, it's a rotten
thing to have happened,

but after all, you had
Betty, what two weeks?

Masters arrived just yesterday,

it's best to get it
straightened out.

- Oh Hugo, I'm so
glad you're here.

I don't think I could've
coped by myself.

- Well, I thought I'd
just drop by

on my way to the madhouse see

if you care to have
lunch with me.

- Ah, I think we got it
sorted out, Mrs. Vallance.

Is that the ring?

- Yes.

Yes, that's the one.

Where did you find it?

I dropped it somewhere,
and not realized.

- No, madam, you hadn't
dropped it, not in that sense.

We found it in your
maid's bedroom

rolled up in a pair of tights.

- Well, she couldn't.

Well, she wouldn't.

Well, in any case, she's
far too sensible.

She must've known I'd miss it.

- You'd be surprised, madam,
how careless

lots of ladies are with
their jewelry.

They don't know whether it's
on their hand or their...

Well, these girls know that.

They trade on it.

Do you wish us to prefer
charges, Mrs. Vallance?

- No, no.

No, no, no, good heavens, no.

Oh Hugo, please, will
you deal with it?

I just couldn't face her.

Tell Masters to give
her the customary amount

in lieu of notice, and deal
with it in any way you like.

Tell her

I'm sorry.

- [Roger] Please don't
distress yourself, madam.

You did the only
thing you could.

- Seemed such a straight
forward person.

- [Roger] Well, she probably
has a record of such thefts.

The girl was luck not to
find herself prosecuted.

- That makes me a bit nervous
about finding a replacement.

- Might I suggest, madam,
that you leave it to me?

I'm confident of finding
a suitable person.

- Yes, yes of course, Masters

why don't you do that?

I'll leave it in your hands.

- Very good, madam.

Will madam be at home for lunch?

- No, no, I shall be
lunching out with Mr. Fane.

I've also asked him to dine
here the day after tomorrow.

So, if you could arrange
something before then?

- Of course, madam.

Will that be all, madam?

- Yes, thank you, Masters.

- You're a genius.

These are the best oeufs en
cocotte I've had since Brussels.

Where did you find her?

- I didn't.

Masters did it.

You know, he really is turning
out to be quite a prize.

- No chance for me to
do my stuff then, huh?

- Hugo.

- [Roger] Beautiful.

My compliments to the chef.

- But one vital
ingredient missing.

- At the moment, the
cream spinach.

I got that out of her when
we discussed the menu.

She adores spinach,

but he never touches it.

- [Maid] Wise man.

- Trolley.

- Well, congratulations Masters.

Where did you dig up this
goddess of the kitchen?

- We've worked together before,
sir.

I remembered her, and
she happened to be free.

- I can't think why.

If it weren't you, my dear,
I'd steal

her away, myself, tomorrow.

- A little more spinach, madam?

- Yes, yes, I believe I will.

- Madam?

- I don't feel very well,
Masters.

- Oh dear, I'm sorry to
hear that, madam.

- I should be down to breakfast.

- I know how wretched these
little upsets can make one feel.

Might I suggest, madam,
that you return to bed,

and I'll instruct Lisa to
prepare something simple.

I'll bring up the mail,
and the household checks

for you to sign later.

- I think that's a
very good idea.

I really do feel most odd.

Just some coffee and a
little dry toast.

And oh please, telephone
Mr. Fane and ask him

if we could meet at one
o'clock rather than noon.

- Very good, madam.

That's enough.

We don't wanna k*ll her, do we?

(soft knocking)

May I take the tray?

Forgive me, madam, but
I really don't think

you should be up.

- I must make an effort.

Mr. Fane is expecting me.

Did you give him my message?

- I hope you won't be offended,
madam.

I took the liberty of canceling

your appointment with Mr. Fane.

I really didn't think
you'd be well enough to go,

and I informed Mr.
Fane accordingly.

- Yes, I think you're right.

Really was very thoughtful
of you, Masters.

- It's probably gastric flu,

it's very prevalent
at the moment.

If I might venture, the
only way to deal with it

is to retire to bed and
to remain there for a day.

I've always found it
works wonders.

- I believe you're right again,
Masters.

I'm always recommending
it to other people,

always reluctant to
do it myself.

- If you'll permit me--

- No, really, really,
I'm perfectly all right.

- Here we are, madam.

- I'm being spoiled
outrageously.

- I hope you'll feel
better soon, madam.

You just drink--

- That'll be all, Lisa.

(moaning)

Gin.

- That is the sixth
time in a row.

I know you're cheating,

but I can't spot how.

(buzzing)

- Just about on schedule.

(buzzing)

- Well, go on then.

- Take it easy.

It'd never do to show her I
was expecting it, would it?

I should be in bed and
fast asleep, shouldn't I?

Mint.

Mr. Roger Masters
reporting for duty.

(knocking)

I'm sorry, madam, I sleep
like the dead.

Have you been ringing long?

- I'm sorry, I didn't wish
to disturb you, Masters,

but I really believe
I'm quite ill.

I think I'd better
have a doctor.

- Oh, certainly, madam,
I know an excellent man.

- No, no, no, Mr. Fane
left an embassy list

it's in my address book
on the dressing table.

There's a doctor's
number in there.

- Yes, of course, madam.

- [Laura] Oh.

- I'm sorry to ring at
this late hour,

I'm speaking for Mrs.
Laura Vallance,

a friend of Mr. Hugo Frane.

Could I speak to Dr. Eastdale,
please?

I see.

Yes, I see.

When will he

Oh, not till then.

Oh, thank you.

My apologies again for
disturbing you.

I'm sorry, madam, apparently Dr.
Eastdale

is away at a medical
convention in Bermuda.

He'll not be back for two weeks.

- Oh no.

- However, as I said, I
do know an excellent man

used by a number of my
previous employers.

He's a most
conscientious doctor.

I'm sure you'd be in good hands.

May I fetch him?

- Oh, yes, yes please.

- Certainly, madam.

His number's downstairs,

I'll telephone him immediately.

- Yes, it's a virus
infection, Mrs. Vallance.

I know that sounds alarming,
but it's not.

It's very minor.

- [Laura] Oh.

- The symptoms are distressing,
I know.

But its bark is worse than its
bite, if you understand me.

- I'm sorry to have been
so much trouble.

- Not at all, not at all.

I wish all my patients
were sensible.

Hit small things early,

and they don't develop
into big things.

That's what I always say.

- How long will I be--

- What, in bed?

Depends on you, largely.

If you're a sensible girl,

do as you're told,

take your medicine,

four or five days.

- Five days?

- Well, it could be much longer

if you don't behave yourself.

Now then, I've written out
some prescriptions there,

but I'm leaving them
with your chap.

And I'm relying on him to
see that you play the game.

So, when I'm not here,

he is, as it were, in
loco parentis for me.

You understand?

And I'm telling him you
need lots of rest,

and lots of quiet,

and he's to see that you get it.

All right?

- Yes, doctor.

- Good, now take these
they'll help you to sleep.

Here we are.

All right?

All right there?

Good, good, fine.

Well, that's it then.

There we are.

Now then, yes, oh yes,

and remember your
butler is the boss.

- I will remember.

- Right.

Same as last time, I suppose.

- Impossible to detect
and gradual in the way

that it hits them.

It's the only stuff.

That's for tonight, there'll
be more later, as usual.

- Well, there was a time,
you know--

- Yeah, that's before you
got struck off.

C'mon Ledworth, you haven't
lived so well for years.

And try and stay, at least,
one quarter sober, would you?

I may want you again.

- Now, don't you push me around!

You need me!

- I own you!

Don't you get that, Ledworth?

I picked you up out of
the old filth,

dusted you off, and made
you useful again.

Money, the clothes you stand in,

the liquor you pour
down your gullet,

they're there by the
grace of me.

I even put a roof
over your head.

Or perhaps you'd like to go back

where I found you, eh Ledworth?

The alcoholic ward.

- I didn't mean anything.

I'll do what you say.

- Of course you will.

Of course you will.

Now, get back to the house.

- What's the matter with him?

- I think it's the time of night

when bent doctors remember
the hippocratic oath.

Good morning, madam, I
trust you slept well.

- [Laura] Oh yes, thank you.

I'm very thirsty.

- Breakfast will be up
in five minutes, madam.

- What are you doing?

- Dr. Ledworth prescribed
complete rest and quiet, madam.

No telephone calls.

- [Laura] I don't think
that's necessary.

- He warned me you might be
a difficult patient, madam.

I'm afraid I shall have
to be quite heartless.

- What do you mean no
telephone calls?

- The doctor was quite explicit,
sir.

He said no telephone calls,
and no visits.

He said it was most
important that

Mrs. Vallance have
complete rest.

- What's the matter with her,
did he say?

- He said it was a virus.

Not serious, but it
could become so

if Mrs. Vallance didn't
observe his routine.

- Oh, Dr. Eastdale, Hugo Fane.

Doctor this is gonna
sound rather odd,

but has a Mrs. Laura
Vallance consulted you,

and if so, and just completely
in confidence of course,

what the devil's wrong with her?

- She hasn't consulted you?

No, no, no, no, nothing at all.

Thank you, doctor.

- But I'm hungry, Masters.

You hardly gave me any
breakfast either.

- I'm sorry, madam,
doctor's orders.

You know what they say, feed
a cold and starve a fever.

- Is that what I've got,
a fever?

- I'm afraid I know
nothing about

the art of medicine, madam.

I do have a great respect
for medical men.

Dr. Ledworth said it
was for your own good.

- Oh, did Mr. Fane
telephone this morning?

- No, madam.

- I see, thank you.

- I don't see there's anything
odd about it at all, Dad.

- Well, I recommended
our own doctor to her,

now she's gone and
gotten herself ill

she's called somebody else.

- Woman's privilege.

She decided not to
take your advice.

Maybe that's what you're
sore about, is it?

I mean after all she can
choose her own doctor

without starting a
congressional debate.

- Yeah, I suppose you're right.

- Can I borrow your car tonight?

- Hmm?

Yes, yes, all right.

Hey!

What's wrong with your own?!

- Is this all?

- I'm afraid so, madam.

- I'm starving.

I've had hardly anything to
eat for the past two days.

I think that's why I'm
feeling so weak.

- I'm sorry, madam, but
I'm only following

the doctor's instructions.

I'm sure it's doing you good.

- I'm sorry, sir, I'd be
wrong to disobey

the doctor's and
madam's instructions.

The treatment requires
complete rest and no visitors.

- Who is looking after her?

- He's an American doctor, sir,

he's a friend of madam's who
happened to be over here.

- Well, where can I get in
touch with him?

- I'm afraid I don't know, sir.

Mrs. Vallance called
him herself.

He seems very strict.

- Thank you.

- [Lisa] There we are,
madam, that's better.

- Oh, has Mr. Fane called?

- No, I'm afraid not, madam.

Will that be all, madam?

- Yes.

Hugo?

- It all seems very
unnecessarily complicated to me.

- Hugo.

- Just tell Mrs.
Vallance I called.

- Certainly, sir.

Goodbye, sir.

(buzzing)

I'm sorry, madam, I was
unable to get away at once.

- Was that Mr. Fane?

- Yes, it was, madam.

I asked him if he'd
like to come up,

but he said he'd spoken to Dr.
Ledworth,

and the doctor had
advised against it.

He came to say goodbye, madam.

- Goodbye?

- Mr. Fane's been posted
back to Washington, madam.

His plane leaves at noon.

He called here on his way
to the airport.

- Oh no.

Oh Hugo.

- It's not like Laura

to be so uncommunicative,
I mean.

- [Piers] Well, she is ill.

- Well, that's true,

but what does it take
to pick up a telephone?

That's what worries me.

You know, I'm beginning to
think she's not

just ill she's very ill.

- [Piers] I wouldn't worry
too much if I were you.

You said her butler's
a pretty competent man.

He seems to have a
grip on things.

- Yes, he does indeed.

Seen my notes anywhere?

- [Piers] Notes?

- Yes, for this broadcast
of mine tomorrow.

- Pretty sensitive subject,
isn't it, Arab nationalism?

- Well, somebody's
gotta speak out.

- I thought this was supposed
to be live, and unscripted.

- It is.

20 years in the embassy
have taught me

that a few notes
never went amiss.

(grunting)

- Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh.

- Madam, what are you
doing out of bed?

You shouldn't.

You really shouldn't.

- So I have discovered.

- Here, let me help you back.

- Yes, thank you.

- There now, there we are.

I don't know what Dr.
Ledworth would say, I'm sure.

Supposing you got out
on the landing,

and fallen down the stairs?

- I wouldn't have done that.

- I dare say not, madam,
but where would

I have been if you had?

I was worried about
disturbing you,

but now I'm glad I did.

Simply some household checks
for you to sign, madam.

I'm sorry to trouble you,

but they have to be attended to.

- Yes.

- If you'd be so kind.

Thank you, madam.

I don't mind telling you

you alarmed me just now, madam.

I can see you're not
to be trusted.

I can see I shall have
to take precautions,

or Dr. Ledworth will
have my hide.

There now, that's better now,
isn't it?

Keep the light out of your eyes.

- I don't want that.

- [Roger] Try and get
some sleep now.

- What time is it?

What day is this?

(lock clicks closed)

- So?

- She's a tough girl.

She's had enough of the
stuff to knock her sideways,

but she keeps fighting back.

- More?

- Not yet.

It won't be long now, she's
beginning to lose touch.

(ominous music)

- [Reporter] Mr. Hugo Fane.

Mr. Hugo Fane has joined
us in the studio

for our live discussion
on Arab nationalism.

As former first secretary
for many years

in both Beirut and Cairo,

Mr. Fane is uniquely qualified
to discuss Arab aspirations.

Mr. Fane.

- [Hugo] Yes, well I've come
along here this afternoon to--

- Hugo.

You haven't gone away.

(coughing)

My throat, I'm choking.

Some water, please, quickly.

(suspenseful music)

Please answer, please answer.

Hurry.

Hello?

This is Laura Vallance.

Please, don't interrupt.

Tell Mr. Fane--

(phone disconnects)

- Hello?

- [Roger] This won't do, madam.

This really won't do at all.

You're not helping yourself,
you know.

This is exactly what
you shouldn't be doing.

- You said Mr. Fane
had gone away.

- [Roger] And so he has, madam.

- No, I heard him on the radio.

It was probably recorded, madam.

Before he went away.

- No, it was live.

They said it was live.

- [Roger] Madam probably
imagined it was

live knowing the voice.

You're in a very weak state,
you know.

It's easy for one's mind
to play tricks.

- There's nothing wrong
with my mind.

I want another doctor.

A second opinion.

- I'll speak to Dr. Ledworth,
madam.

He'll be very hurt, I'm sure,

but nevertheless if it's
what you wish I will do so.

- [Laura] Yes.

- Now, I suggest you settle
down and conserve your energy.

You've only to ring
if you need me.

No food at all today.

- But the milk's got
the stuff in it.

- Salvation's what
she needs now.

Hunger's a great little
spirit breaker.

- What did she actually say?

- That's what she said.

That's all she said.

Tell Mr. Fane, then she hung up.

- Did she sound all right?

- No, sounded a bit odd.

Very odd, in fact.

- And she said nothing more?

- Not a thing.

Look, I thought I'd
better just hang on

and tell you in person,

but now I've really gotta go.

You won't forget I'm staying
in Oxford overnight, will you?

- No, son, I'll remember.

- Fine, bye.

- Bye.

(phone ringing)

- Mrs. Vallance's residence.

Oh yes, sir.

Yes, she did phone you.

Completely against
doctor's orders,

and then, she had a
little fainting fit.

Just what the doctor
said might happen

if she over exerted herself.

She just wanted to tell
you she was all right, sir,

and to apologize for not
being in touch.

(crying)

Well, she's asleep now, sir.

I wouldn't wish to disturb her.

But I'll certainly tell
her you called.

Thank you, sir.

Goodbye, sir.

(crying)

- Now look, I've had enough
of your interference.

Now get out of my way!

- Hugo!

Hugo.

They made me prisoner.

Took the phone away.

They were starving me.

- It's all right.

It's all right now.

They told me you'd gone away.

- I haven't gone away, have I?

I'm here to look after you.

Now, just sit down a minute.

Yes, you need a doctor.

Yes, and we both
need the police.

(gasps)

(ominous music)

(screams)

- Come on, Lisa.

It's all right, a
miscalculation.

Another few days and
it'll be over.

We'll be out of here
and on our way.

Just another few days.

I'm gonna have to leave
you for a while.

- I'll be all right.

- Of course you will.

Because you trust me, don't you?

Completely trust me.

Don't open the door to anyone.

No loose ends.

- Hello, hello Jeremy?

Piers.

Hey look, you don't have my
old man with you, do you?

Well, it's just that he
didn't sleep here last night,

and I wondered.

Don't be disgusting.

Fine, thanks.

Hello, Peter?

Piers.

Look, I don't wanna be
an alarmist or anything,

but Hugo seems to be missing.

Yeah, I mean I know
it's nothing,

but well he was pretty
outspoken about

Arab affairs yesterday.

(doorbell rings)

- Getting to be a habit, sir,
isn't it?

Funny the way it happens,

I've not had an inquire
this patch in over a year,

and suddenly I'm in and
out like the tide.

- What is it this time?

- [DS Rainer] Just a few
routine inquiries, sir.

- Oh certainly, sergeant,
please do come in.

- Going away, are you?

- [Roger] My employer's
been rather ill.

She's gone to Bermuda
to recuperate.

I am to follow.

(people talking)

- This is the life,
eh constable?

Butler.

Nothing but the best.

Best houses.

Best food.

Of course you are a servant.

But then, so am I.

Servant to the public
on tap day and night.

I'm inquiring about a Mr. Fane.

Mr. Hugo Fane.

He's not at his usual haunts.

We heard he might have
called here last night.

- Mr. Fane, yes he did
call here last night.

He's a friend of Mrs. Vallance.

I told him he'd just missed her.

He was very disappointed.

(whispering)

- Help.

Somebody please help me.

(people talking)

- [Roger] And then, Mr.
Fane got into

his car and drove away.

- He didn't say where he
was going, did he sir?

- No, I'm afraid not, sergeant.

- Oh, thank you kindly, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

- See that, constable.

That's what I call the
perfect butler.

Smart too.

Look at those buttons,
almost regimental.

He didn't say anything
about anyone following him,

nothing like that, sir?

- He did seem a little strained,

but no he said
nothing like that.

- [DS Rainer] All right,
sir, thank you very much.

Sorry to have bothered you.

- Not at all.

(door slams)

(crying)

- Did your father get
any other strange calls

after the broadcast, sir?

- [Piers] No, Mrs.
Vallance was the only one.

- Well, that one seems
to be a dead end

with her going away and all.

- Maybe that's what
she was calling to say.

Well, why should she hang
up so suddenly?

- Who knows with women, sir.

- I'm simply asking you
to be sensible, madam.

A little business before lunch.

- I'm not signing any will.

- I wouldn't dream of
asking you to, madam.

It's not a will, it's a
simple power of attorney.

With you like this, someone
has to look after your affairs.

Sign this, and I will be
able to do so.

- I'd be signing my
death warrant.

- Madam is being fanciful.

Perhaps we'd better leave
you to think it over.

- [Laura] My lunch.

I need food.

You're starving me!

- All in good time, madam.

I don't think you're well enough

to eat anything at the moment.

We'll see how you
feel a bit later.

- Please, please.

(door shuts)

Please.

- Rog.

I wish you wouldn't go.

- I've told you, I've got to
clear up one or two things

down at the manor
before we leave.

- We're leaving the
manor as well?

- Well, this job's got
a bit too hot.

It's pick up sticks
and clear off

when we get that signature.

- When we get it.

- Another 24 hours without food,

and she'll sign her life
away for a dog biscuit.

- You really enjoy all this,
don't you?

- No, it's purely business.

Now, you play it cool,
and don't go near her

no matter how much she rings,
got it?

- Yes.

- [Roger] I'll be back
this evening.

- Oh no.

- I'm afraid so, sir.

In a wood in Somerset.

In the boot of his car,
he'd been stabbed.

I've just heard from
the county police

they think it could
be political.

Obviously, nothing to
do with Mrs. Vallance.

- Yeah, I suppose you're right.

I just can't help thinking...

No, I guess not.

Yeah, yes, I will.

Thank you, sergeant.

- I walked straight in here.

The front door was open,

and I walked straight in here.

All you have to do is stay here,

sit tight, and make sure
no one comes snooping,

and I walk straight in here!

- I must've--

- You are drunk!

All those advantages.

A good family,

the right education,

a medical degree,

and you just
frittered them away.

Do you know how I was educated,
Ledworth?

Here and there and
not very often.

Our father was an under porter.

He blacked people's boots.

He lived for 66 years.

In all that time,
all he ever did

was black other people's boots

while my mother helped
out in the kitchens.

That's my heritage, Ledworth.

Not like yours.

Good start, solid background
in the upper bracket,

and yet, look at you now,

and look at me.

Fetch me a drink, Ledworth.

- [Dr. Ledworth] A drink?

- Scotch with ice

in a crystal glass

on a silver tray.

Well, go on, Ledworth,
obey your orders.

Here, Ledworth.

No, no, no you're doing
it all wrong, Ledworth.

You're catching my eye.

Never look directly into
the master's eye.

Deferential, Ledworth,
deferential.

Otherwise, the master
might think you were

getting above your station.

Might think you were regarding
yourself as an equal.

No, stay where you are.

- I swear I'll shop you one day!

- Shop me?!

You wouldn't do that.

Bring me down and you
go down too.

Besides, you know I'd k*ll you,
don't you?

Anyway, you won't have to put
up with me for much longer.

- [Dr. Ledworth] What?

- The Vallance woman.

Close to the k*ll now.

Then I think Lisa and
me will take

a little holiday on the Riviera.

Relax a bit, catch our breath.

And then, when we're both
nicely rested,

well, there's rich pickings
on the Riviera, Ledworth.

People crying out for an
exemplary butler.

- What about me?

- What about you?

- You can't do it alone,
you need me, a doctor.

- I expect there's a French
equivalent to you, Ledworth.

The gutters of the world
are filled with Ledworths.

- Oh no, you couldn't,

you couldn't leave me
behind here.

- No, you're right, I couldn't.

Slip out from under my thumb
and you'd go to pieces,

start talking.

I shall have to think of
a happy solution, won't I?

To stop you talking.

(dramatic music)

(coughing)

Just my little joke, Ledworth.

Just to show how easy
it could be.

You behave yourself,
and I'll look after you.

And behaving yourself means
keep the front door locked,

your nose clean, and
pacing your drinking.

(gasping)

I wouldn't leave you behind,
Ledworth.

I like looking at you.

You're the mirror of my success.

(doorbell ringing)

- Oh, I'm ever so sorry.

I didn't know.

- How could you?

- Mr. Fane was very nice
to me the times I saw him.

Oh dear.

- Please, sit down.

What did you want to see
my father about?

- Well, it's not your problem,
really.

- If you thought my
father could help,

maybe I can too.

- Well, it was about
Mrs. Vallance, really.

- What about Mrs. Vallance?

- No, perhaps another time.

- No, please.

What about Mrs. Vallance?

- Well, it was about
me being sacked

for stealing the ring.

Well, I didn't do it.

And it was only me
and him there,

the butler, I mean.

So, I knew he must've
arranged it.

You know, tried to
get rid of me,

to get me the sack.

- Why should he wanna do that?

- Well, that's what I
asked myself.

So, I went down to the
village where

his last job was, at
Cheavening Manor.

I saw it on his references.

- Yeah, so you went there.

- Well, I didn't get any
joy at the house,

just an old doctor living there.

- Doctor?

- That's what the
locals told me.

At least he used to be a doctor.

Struck off, a drunk.

But that isn't all they told me.

You see, it seems there was
a maid living there, too,

when Masters arrived.

And one day some silver
went missing,

and they found it in her room,

so she was sacked.

- What was the name of his
employer there?

- Oh, that's no good.

She went abroad.

- What?

- She was ill for a long time.

Didn't see anyone,

then she went abroad
to recuperate.

Well, the village people
say she must've

left him in charge of the manor.

The see him down
there sometimes.

- Right, call Sgt. Rainer
tell him to get around

to Mrs. Vallance's right away!

- Which police station?!

(doorbell rings)

- Rog?

- I'm Detective Constable
Kane, Rochester Row.

Sgt. Rainer about?

- Here.

I'm here.

- Sgt. Rainer, isnt' here.

If you'd like to
come back later,

when Mr. Masters, the butler,
is here.

I'm sure he--

- That's funny, the
sergeant said he'd meet me.

Said he was coming to
collect his notebook.

Thinks he left it in your
kitchen this morning.

Is Mrs. Vallance about?

- No, she's gone away.

We told your sergeant
this morning.

- Of course, you're right,
he told me.

Well, if the sarge isn't
gonna show up,

perhaps I'd better collect
his notebook for him.

Which way is the kitchen?

- It's all right, I'll go
and look for it.

You stay here.

- Thank you very much, miss.

(suspenseful music)

Mrs. Vallance!

- Poison in food.

Then starving.

Signature.

- [Piers] It's over.

You're getting out of here.

Can you stand?

- No.

No.

- We're in the news.

- Shh!

There's a policeman
in the house.

- What, where is he?

- I don't know.

I left him there.

He said he was looking for Sgt.
Rainer.

Actually, that's him.

That's the man.

- Piers Fane, how nice.

The house is about to burn down,

and your charred remains are
gonna be mistaken for mine.

The gallant butler
burned to a crisp

trying to save his mistress.

Pity really, you and your
father you did have style.

(pounding on the door)

- [Piers] It won't work!

- Oh, but it will, sir.

Fire is your great leveler.

Makes no distinction
between master and bondman.

- Rog, we can't!

- Fetch the other
cans and shut up!

(pounding on the door)

Come on, Lisa.

- Roger.

- That reminds me, I shall
have to find a new maid.

Goodbye, it's been fun!

- Oh, good evening, sir.

Going out, were you?

I don't know, I despair
the public sometimes.

We keep telling them
before you go out,

make sure you left no
lighted candles

burning down to pools
of paraffin.

Take care of it, constable.

In the bedroom are they, sir?

- What?

- They found this button
in Mr. Fane's hand, sir.

I remember admiring it when
we had our little chat.

Funny you not noticing
a thing like that, sir.

You being the perfect
butler and all.

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)