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01x62 - Here's Hamton

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tiny Toon Adventures". Aired: September 14 – December 6, 1992.*
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Cartoon set in the fictional town of "Acme Acres", where most of the Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters live.

01x62 - Here's Hamton

Post by bunniefuu »

Hampton!

Hampton!

Hampton!

Where, oh where is Hampton?

Have you seen our worker clout?

Hampton is the only square of

any animal

Disloyal good guyAnd virtues

have always brought in fame. Sound hog,

habit, and behaviors, and it

is his name.

It makes a money stout.

Yeah, it's great being the funniest one

in the whole school. And today, I feel

especially funny.

My how the ears played tricks on us. I

thought I heard you say you're the

funniest one here. Pretty actually. Oh,

come on, Plucky. I'm the funniest. No

brag. It's fact. OK, OK

Let's find an average student in Lahindi

to judge.

Ah ha! The first one of us who makes

you have been that hard enough to squirt

milk out of his nose... The funny that

you want to me move!

Me first! Bucky is the

funniest in all the

Looniversity, yeah

Watch this one!Hello,

Hampton. How are you today?I'm Mr.

Rivolco, the Caulking Spud. Don't drink

too fast now. We wouldn't want you to

squirt milk out of both nostrils like a

long sprinkler that blew up. What's this?

Stell-o-tackles?Mr. Rivolco will have

to pull out all the stops.

Lucky, you look so delish today.

Hey, wait a minute.

Oh, you have to bite. No!

That was surefire stuff! My shy

pal. Now let the master do his thing.

Be very quiet. I'm hunting lavish.

My turn. This calls for drastic

measures.

What?I say what?Tarnation we got

here, boy. Y'all gotta put some meat on

those feathers, son, or you'll blow shout

for the winter.

Ever considered pumping oil as a

vocation, son?

You know, nuke is nuke is swarming.

Ready to call it quits?Yeah.

Look! A mailbox! A mailbox!

Oh, good! Now I can mail the post

as my class is sending.

Finished?Vic! Vic! Not

on your luck.

Look, let's work together, pal.

Ah, don't you just love slutsmith?

Bob, you're dead, Bucky.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about

a math problem. Did you guys say

something to me?

There's a pig, the butchers are always

chasing If he gets tall, he'll end up

chasing He's always on the run,

'cause they want him on the run For him,

things just go from bad to brat worth

He's on the lamb, he won't be a ham

There's no birdeater, they can't

make him a wiener

Hampton in color.

Your hopthood's ready, Lucky. That was

about fun.

Poo! What?No butter?

Really, Hampton?You've got a lot to learn

about being a good host. No hotter, no

hopcorn, no pizza rolls?Eat this up and I

won't invite the self over anymore. Oh

no, please don't say that. Now you just

sit there and relax. I'll go fix your

dinner. Huh

And it calls for this cable television.

Only 83 newsly channels.

And now, back to America's Top 10

Criminals, hosted by Clint Eastlakem.

Welcome back, crime fans. Our next Wanted

criminal spent most of last year in a

career slump. But a couple of bank

robberies and a kidnapping shot him back

up the charts to number one.

Here's the cover of his latest Wanted

poster. Knuckles Cutlet, Public Enemy

number one.

Knuckles escaped from prison several

years ago. His current whereabouts are

unknown, but he is believed to be living

nearby under an assumed name.

The homicidal maniac prefers to use blood

instruments on his innocent victims.

Knuckles is easily identified by his

unusual laugh.

A $25,000 reward is offered to anyone

who captures Knuckles Cutler. Did he

say 20,000?No,



pal, Hampton, a homicidal maniac?

Well, even who he is, he's still a

friend, and friends don't turn friends

over to police. No fair, huhNo way,

no... 25,000?

No, I won't do it. Besides,

what he knows is what I know.

Is $25,000 worth of that?

Yes!

Your dinner isn't ready yet, buddy. How

about some pie?

No, no thank you, pal. Uh, the

cherry stones get stuck in my teeth.

Oh ohh my. You're a back leg like that.

That means f*ck up your pillow. It's

too nice a day to waste in here watching

TV. Why don't we go for a walk?

I don't know how to thank you. No one's

ever gonna be a suit before. People will

really notice me though. That's what I'm

counting on, old pal. Look, I got you a

charm bracelet to go with it.

You're too good. Oh, no, not at

all.

Here, let me help you with that. It's

Crumble. I'll keep making bracelets

today. Oh, you'll love this new joke I

heard. It's a chill out!

Just up in the burial. Which way's the

closest donut shop?Here, Officer. I'll

show you. Which shade of

the donut shop?Must be

a lucky.

Oh, no! Can't finish having no more

slurp! Don't worry, Elmer, I'll shave

you! Gracious! What a relief!

How dare you have it! You

monster! Thanks for rearranging my

sacroiliac, Captain. My leg of a

Cabo-plankton is on vacation.

No thanks to you, duck.

Gee this, Lucky. This is a fun game we

just played. But it's getting late. I've

got to get home and cook your dinner.

Uh, tell you what, handsome old pal, old

pal. Let's play money bag.

Really?Uh, how do you play that?

Well, you climb this bag.

And I turn you in for money.

Why don't you watch where I'm going, Matt?

Your trouble hurl over, Chief. Well, you

see what I've got in this bag?It's worth



too. Look.

Well, they said I'd get 25. I got it.

Maybe I can cut it in half with the

behavior. You're free, Luck.

Your friend paid your bail. Are you okay,

plucky old buddy?I was awful worried

about you. You showed me such a good time

today. I'm gonna take you home and give

you what's coming to you.

Gee, thanks, Hank and old Dean. Now I'd

like to tell you what your friendship

means to me. Look, Sharge!

It's Knuckles Cutlett! Did you shake me

back?I told him! He's hard jelly! Quit,

arrest him! Now where's my money?

You're crazy, Duck! We arrested Knuckles

Cutlett almost an hour ago! See?

Let me go, you screws! I want my lawyer

platform! Hey, who's that

handsome guy in the stripes?

Let him go! He's

mine, never

stand by! It's my reward! Get out and

stare!

Welcome home, Knuckles!

Gee, I'm, uh.. sorry I missed help you

for a k*ller, Hampton. Forget it, buddy.

Let's go home. Well, I learned my

lesson, all right. I'm going to trust my

friends from now on. You

go in first, pal. It

makes it easier for me to sneak up on

you!

Here's Johnny!

The Hampton Show, starring Hampton Pig,

Elmira Tyler Moore.

Oh, Shirley and Pucky Ducksterdam!

For the Acme Acres' fresh seafood lover,

Captain Camille's is the place. I've

been scrimping and saving for weeks, and

now I'm going to get the biggest,

juiciest lobster in the whole world. I

won.

Uh, swimmer! Hey! Noooo!

Biggie little barnacles, go hide in David

John's locker!

That one! Over the sea, let's go,

man. We're something right wrong, we're

something right wrong again.

Go ahead and laugh, you hyenas! I'll

still be swimming while you're a bench in

somebody's conversation. Gosh, he's

a frisky one.

Yeah. Expensive, too. Two sticks.

I seem to be a few sets short. See?

Told ya.

You forgot the veggies. Oh, forgive me.

I'll go get

them. What?

I'd do this stuff to him through the

whole car too.

That pig's about as smart as a bag of

hammers. There's got to be another

door out of here.

Ah, there's one.

That's the only potbelly you'll ever

catch me in...

I regret you have to be here to witness

this. I won't be much longer.

ohh And now, young sidewalker, you

will die. This is the guy I

came in here with?Wait,

sailor, think about what you're doing.

Look, I'm a family man.

Hey, I've got the same family. They came

with a wallet.

On guard.

Hey, look, pig in a blanket.

No, maybe I can be.

Shovel it off over again.

I heard an animal in here.

What were you doing, Emily, when you

piggy?Uh, I could explain.

Well, don't you worry, Mr. Scallytail.

Big, fat, really old pig doesn't gonna

bother you anymore. 'Cause Elmira's gonna

take you home and love you and cuddle

you and love you and clean you.

Why do you think I take me chances inhere?