03x03 - Fox Trot

[bunniefuu]

We're tiny We're toony We're all a little

loony And in this cartoony We're invading

your TV We're comic dispensers We've

cut the ball with sensors On tiny soon

adventures get a dose of comedy So here's

at the acres, it's a whole wide world

apart Our homes only stand alone, a

cartoon worth of art Let's rest where we

checked it Expect the unexpected

They're just about to start They're free,

they're funny They're thousand fun and

funny Mush Hannah Match has money And my

wreck is a pain He's has thin and plucky

Dizzy, devil, yucky Purple's a

ducky And go-go is insane At Acme

University, we earn our two degrees Less

with teaching cats I'm getting laughs and

slice in 30's We're honey, we're

to me We're all a little loony It's time

to tuna adventures Come and join the fun

Oh, ohh hi, Toonsters! And welcome to

another fun-filled episode of Tiny Toon

Adventures. As you know, we're on the

Fox network now. And to honor the

occasion, Babs and I are proud to

introduce you to some brand new

characters, our enemies... The Fox

Network Executive! It

could be worse. We should be stuck on the

Peacock Network.

Uh,

but enough beating around the bush. It's

time for our first cartoon!

Oh, unbridled excitement. This is it.

Today, the grand finals here on

Swine Search. The moment of truth

for those of you that have been watching

all year. That would be

me. Now, let's speak to our two

finalists in the model-slash-spokes pig

category. Oh, joy, oh,

rapture.

if you don't mind, I'm trying to watch

the most crucial television event of my

life. Will you please keep it down?

You mean you don't want me to get into

the acne all-bagpipe band?It's not that.

You want me to stop practicing and suffer

the burden of mediocrity?Of course not. I

just-- You want me to ignore the money I

spent on this rental?Ah,

never mind.

Some pigs have no appreciation ofculture.

Now we move on to our singing

competition. Who won

model/spokes pig?I missed it.

Oh, darn, darn, triple darn. One,

two, three, and...

Lucky, please. That sound is so annoying.

Keep it down, please. You know, it's

awfully hard to practice with you jumping

around like that.

I've waited all year for this.

Well, at least I haven't missed the grand

prize winner. Good night,

everybody!

I missed it. I've waited a whole year to

see this, and I missed it.

Clocky!

I take that high!

Alas, poor bagpipe.

I knew ye well.

So help me, Hampton Shay Pig.

I'll get revenge!

Doesn't like bagpipes, huh

Nothing can foil my brilliant

revenge.

If you don't like bagpipes now, Hammy,

just wait an hour.

Lucky, meet me at the park, Hampton.

Uh-huhSo he wants a showdown, a

duel, a grudge mask, a provoked

altercation. Well, what have I got to

lose?I've still got... my brilliant

Revenge!

Ladies and gentlemen, in this here

corner, the Challenger, Pallotti

Dos!

And in this here corner, Hampton J.

Pig!

All right, Hampton, I'll give you a

chance. Take your best shot.

All right.

I apologize. Ah

You were right. What I did was wrong.

I'm sorry. Here, I got you new

bagpipes.

That's not fair. You can't

apologize. I'm still

angry.

Don't make me right! I don't want to be

right! Of course I am right.

But I want to be mad!

I want my brilliant revenge!

Oh, no! My brilliant revenge!

Anton, no!

Get away from my chair,

Mother.

I'm okay, really.

Lucky, are you all right?Speak to me.

So, call me Cubist. I accept your

apology, Hampton, but I'm the

sorry one. I'm I'm sorry I made you miss

your favorite show. Oh, that's

okay. I taped it anyway.

The network is still giving us the usual

runaround to make our show even better.

Not.

Oh, my best friend is a puppy cat on a

string, on a string.

Oh, my puppy cat is a kitty on a stringy,

spaghetti, stringy, thingy, furball

kitty, best friend on a string, on a

string.

Oh, lookie you. That be a

movie?

Oh! We have a new

neighbor. And she's my size and she's

pretty and pink and I'm gonna be her best

friend.

Hello, cute girl. Do you wanna be my best

friend?Who

are you, butthead?That's

not my name. My name is Elmira.

I'm Rhoda, but you may call me Queen.

Okay, Queen, do you want to play and be

best friends with me?I'll be your best

friend.

You will?If you give me that bow on your

head... My bow?If

you really like me, you'll give it to me,

and no take-backs, get it?Say, swear to

the queen!Well, to the Queen!

Rhoda!

I could use your help! Oh, Mother! My

new best friend just invited me to play

in her room! May I please go, Mother?

Oh, of course, Sweet Kins! Have fun!

Hey, who's a jerk?That's Montana

Max. Do you want to know a secret best

friend road to Girl Queen?He's my sugar

Papa. Isn't he cute?Yeah,

right, if you like dumb boy geeks.

That's Mr. Pigster. Isn't he a

funny-face old pig bank?

Elmira, if you really like me,

break open the bank and take me to the

movies.

Hmm Break, Mr. Pigster?Do

it, or you're not my best friend anymore,

Elmira!

Any last oink?

I've got the sweetest friend. Elmira,

you're the best friend I ever had. I

am?

Ha! What a b*mb! Isn't that your

boyfriend?Ooh, yeah,

Queen. That's my Monty

Wonty. Hey!Montana

Max, can I sit with you?Elmira says

she's not your girlfriend anymore. Get

lost, braithead! He

is cute. I didn't

say I'm not his girlfriend, Queen. If

you really like me, Elmira, you will say

it. Say it or I'll never, ever, ever talk

to you again, butthead! Uh..

I... I'm not his

girlfriend. That's because I am now!

Go get me some popcorn. But I spend all

my money. If you really

like me, you get me some popcorn.

Now!

Nickel's worth of popcorn, please.

Nobody call me a dumb butt geek and gets

away with it.

That's my baby!

We're leaving! Come on! Your

boyfriend is a creep, and I don't want

him 'cause he sprayed me with cherrysoda!

You! You can have your stinky bow and

butt-head, boyfriend! I don't want

anything to do with you!Oh,

you have a cat?Oh, he's the prettiest

cat, the sweetest cat. He's my bestest,

furriest, purple kitty-cat friend.

Gee, I always wanted a kitty of my very

own. That's all I ever wanted.

If you want to be my friend, you'll give

him to me. No, Queenie. I'd rather

give up having a friend like you than

give up my fuzzy little furball head.

Who cares?I never liked you

anyway!

I got the most beautiful kitty, the most

cuddly, wuddly kitty in the whole world.

I'll be your best friend for all the days

if you really like me and give me a

million billion hugs.

Wait, you don't have to give me

anything. Friends just like each

other, and they don't have to give each

other anything if they don't want to. And

that just means they didn't feel like

giving something just to get a friend.

The end. Mwah!

Yoo-hoo, Elmira!

I'll be your best friend again if you get

the car keys from your ma and drive me to

Utah. Okay.

Looks like their ratings have hit bottom.

Oh! Hello?Babs, we

will never finish the show if we keep

getting interrupted. Okay, okay

Lars, hold all calls.

Uh-oh. What?It's Steven. He's holding on

line four. Steven who?You know

Steven who?Our boss, the guy with the

beard. Oh. Well, what does he want?

I don't know, but Lars says he's not

happy.

You talk to him. He likes you. No way.

You're the popular one. He's all yours.

I'm not talking to him, not when he's not

happy. Well, somebody's gotta talk to

him. I

know.

Hey, hi, guys. What's going on?

Steven loves Sneezer. Thinks he's cute.

Perfect. Uh, here, Sneezer. A phone

call for you. For me?

Oh, gosh and golly gee whittikers. I've

never heard a phone call before. Oh,

neato. Thanks, Miss Borny Lady Monster.

Hello?Oh, hi, Steven.

I'm gonna get you guys for this. Yes,

Stephen, but... Stephen, we're all trying

to do our very best here.

Yes, I understand. The last thing didn't

work for you. So, how would you like to

handle it?

Well, maybe we could go back and redo the

scene the way you'd like it?

Yes, that'll be fine. Okay, then. I'll

tell you what, I'm gonna put Buster and

Babs on, and you can give him the

details. Okay, Steven. Right. Hey, let's

do lunch soon. Okay, thanks. My best to

Max. Now, hang on. I'm putting you on

hold. I've calmed him down. He's

all yours. Oh, thanks, Neezer. We owe ya.

Big. Oh, and one last thing...

Don't you ever do that to me again! Not

ever! Right.

And now, I gotta blow! I... I.. I..

Steven! Hi! Yeah,

where are you?I'm on the San Diego

freeway near Moho. Oh, ohh look! Michelle

Lee in the next car. Hi, Michelle! Now,

let's not call you. Anyways, I told

Sneezer, I really want to redo that last

scene. I I want it special.

Right. And so do we, Steven. We were both

very disappointed with the way it came

out. Now, um, exactly what scene

was that, Steven?The chase scene. It

looked all wrong. Now, let's take it from

the top, all right?

First of all, the line quality is way

too thick. Check. And

it should be a night scene. Check. And

the characters should be in their night

colors. Check. Okay,

and we need shadows. We need more

shadows. Just, you know, just more

shadows. More, more, more shadows. I I

want lots and lots of shadows, period.

How's that?Perfect. Okay, that's, that's

really great. All right, everybody, hold,

hold. Roll camera and

action.

OK, now let's start with a low angle,

build to a dramatic tension. Cue chase

music. OK, cut in close on Buster. Now

you're looking for some some chance to

escape here, Buster. So here's what we

want. We want you to kind of smile as you

see from like a POV shot.

The hollow log. Maybe we do like a

handheld truck in to simulate running

here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Now

this is going to show Buster and Babs.

They're going to run out. the other side.

It'll be great. And now they paint the

cliff background. You know

what?I mean, it's it's a real toony

thing, but we've we've done the falling

off the cliff to death, so yeah we we

need something here. We really need

something special.

How about this?

Not bad, not bad. Okay, yeah, yeah good,

goodOkay. Whose idea was that?Yours,

Steven, yours. Really?Good.

It feels special. All

right. Now, truck in fast on the bases,

then. Oh, and

then Buster bats right in on a handcar

and then hit him again.

I love this. Oops. We got him up the

cliff. OK, Steven, what happens next?

Listen, I got to run, guys. Carrie

Fisher's calling from Paris. Yeah, but

what happens next?I'm sure you'll come up

with something. Listen, I'll talk to you

later and make sure it's good. Yeah,

heaven forbid we keep Carrie awaking.

Perish the thought.

Hello?Um, hey guys, look, um.. that that

fall was kinda, uh, weak, you know?You

wanna... just do it over.

Goodnight, folks.