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03x17 - Weekday Afternoon Live

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tiny Toon Adventures". Aired: September 14 – December 6, 1992.*
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Cartoon set in the fictional town of "Acme Acres", where most of the Tiny Toons and Looney Tunes characters live.

03x17 - Weekday Afternoon Live

Post by bunniefuu »

We're tiny We're toony We're all our

little loony And in this cartoony we're

invading your TV We're comic

dispensers We've got them all dispensers

On tiny toon adventures get a dose of

comedy So here's at the acres, it's a

whole wide world apart Our homes, we only

stand alone The cartoon works of art Left

rest we're rejected Expect the unexpected

They're furry, they're funny They're the

headbuster bunny Much have a match as

money How my wreck is a pain She's

husband and plucky Disney devil

yucky Purple's unlucky And don't go

is insane And at the university we

earn our tune degree At the T.C. cast and

getting latch since 1933 We're tiny,

we're too many We're all a little loony

It's tiny, too different Just come and

join the funnow I song this song

Babsy, I got a new joke! Let's hear it!

How does a dumb bunny answer a question?I

don't know. Right! Ha! Get it?

Brilliant. Very mature. So

what, should I use it for the opening?I

thought I was doing the opening. No, No

no, I'm doing the opening. No, I am. No,

I am.

Laces. Laces, please, for the opening.

Excuse me. Pardon me. I've

got an opening to do.

Let's be fair. Heads or tails?Tails.

Oh, great.

Yes, it's Heads! I get to do the opening!

Live from Ashley Akers, it's

weekday afternoon!

This weekday afternoon live

Starring Fab's Bunny,

Buster Bunny No relation

Lucky Duck, Elmira,

HamptonAnd featuring

Montana Max and the weekday afternoon

large band. Look at me! Look at

me! Also featuring some other

people that might not even appear in the

show at all. And

here's tonight's guest star, Blarge

Simpleton.

Thanks, man. I'm Blarge Simpleton. You

know, I was nervous about doing this

show, but hey, I've been working in

cartoons all my life, so what's the big

deal?Wait a minute, Blard. This isn't

like your show. No, it isn't.

Well, for example, could this happen on

your show?Well,

no. Or how about this?

See?You're right, man. This is a little

different. Uh, is it too late for me to

back out?Yes. Oh.

Stick around for a great show, I hope.

This guest host monologue sticks. It's

supposed to. It's a tradition on this

show.

I'm bored. I'm

hungry. There's nothing to do.

Come on, kids! Let's go to Cheesy

Smeezers!

I can eat a snack!

sh**t some hoop!

There's loads of happy things to do! It's

either graceful to

you!

ohh

Easy sneezers for the beat just all in

one.

And now, another moment in American

history, the end of the Civil

w*r. Good morning,

Sergeant at Arms. General Grant, the

Grant Man, Grantster.

Are we ready to begin?Still waiting on

General Lee. Leebo.

Lollapalooser Liski.

Good morning, General Grant. It's the

Leola. Lim-meister

Rooney-arama. Shall we sign the

documents of surrender?Let's do it,

Grant-man! Grant-a-go-go, Lincoln's

lucky lad in the land of cotton-a-rooney.

You're up ski, Lee sir, Dixie Doodle in

the dumper, Lee man. Pen your name and

end the game, General Lee speakinosity.

Mr. Lee, press on nails, Meister.

It's your line, Blard. Just relax, man. I

can't read the cue card.

The pen, please. Ooh,

sore loser, surrender on a Bender Levi.

Stuff it! General Grant?Oh,

moment of truth for the Grant Man.

Grantology, Mr. Victor Victoria, smiling

under the beard, Yankee Doodle, grant me

a wish, b*ner runiosity, steel-a-rama.

There it is done. Hold on there, General

Zedogo. Now that you've signed my

autograph book, don't you want to sign

the surrender document?

Is that the end of the sketch?You should

be thankful, Blard. This is probably the

only sketch in the show that doesn't end

with a violent side gag.

Hey, you girly people, I'm

Sigmund. And I'm Helmut. And

we're going to blow you up.

Hey, girly pig. You are like a sow,

Mr. Curly Tail, girly pig.

I am?Look at your flabby belly like a

whale. And

your flabby, girly arms so flabby.

Well, don't worry, because we're

going to blow you up.

Our

huge muscles are like mountains,

making our heads look unusually small.

Hey, they do look pretty good. We're not

done yet, because we're going to

blowYou are!

Yuri P!

And now, it's time for another

installment of... Samurai

Film Critics!Good

evening, everyone. Welcome to tonight's

show. I'm Roger Pigbert. Hi.

I'm Maybe Di Zoto. Hi. What are you doing?

The first film we'll review tonight is

Gnome Alone Again, about a brave little

gnome defending his tree against gypsy

moths. I loved it.

Me?Me no want to see a horrible gorgeous

scream again! And Soko didn't care for

it. The next film we'll review is Dances

with Lobsters, about a man who quits the

Navy to live among crustaceans. I loved

it!

Mmm! Lobster!sushi. Movie mix is Uncle

Hungry. Square drawn butter. One

movie with Tina Peele. What now?

Soko didn't care for that one either.

Last movie better be good, or

else pig sushi. What's the last

film?It's Immature

Radioactive Samurai Slugs 3.

Now that art me saw first two 200

times.

I feel exactly the same.

Tune in next time when one of the films

we'll be reviewing is Young Gums. That's

his reference! Another guided

reference!Who cares about Keeper

Sutherland?

Mr. Skullhead knows that if there's an

earthquake, you should be ready and

prepared and have some safety-like

emergency supplies.

also knows that heavy furniture and

appliances should be braced, anchored, or

strapped so they won't fall over. It's

also good and well if your whole house is

secured safely.

And if a big old earthquake comes along,

Mr. Skullhead knows that the doorway is a

good place to stand. Look out,

Mr. Skullhead!

Mr. Skullhead knows that proper

preparationHayes off.

Oh, yeah. Don't forget about those

aftershocks.

Yum.

Toon about, my tunes are in

Tactful, huh, is Plucky Duck He's as

subtle as a semi-truck Bucky, always

playin' it cool I would never play the

fool This here, it's Plucky Duck

Jack I'm, ooh, your number one quack I'm

a white-crackin', never slackin' Got the

knackin' love about Jackin', love to

stackin' For my snackin' souls, a knack

to book a dashin' Lots of passion

over-actin' cars and slackin' b*ll*ts,

slackin' plays, jackin', wipe-wipe,

wipe-- Dude out! Dude in,

toon about!There

goes Montana Max. He's got

money by the sacks. I would not say

that he's greedy. To him, the Trump's are

really needy.

Kaboo! I'm done. Oh, ohh yeah, Elmira's

quick. Brains a density of a brick. The

animals that she sees, she's got to

grab, she's got to squeeze. She's

always gettin' the name from the

A-S-P-C-A! yo-yo, yo, when I see a

cutie critter, I wanna squeeze the whole

litter! A cutie, wootie, cutie, booty,

cutie, tootie, kangaroo-y! A cutie,

poofy, cutie, canooies, love rat,

coonies, and baboonies! Cutie, booty,

cutie, gucci, three-ba booty moms, gucci,

gooey, wooey, gooey, gooey, say what?Toon

out! Toon ear! Toon about!

Toon to ear! Style spinning devil's name

isHe's got a spin that's only

his. The pizza rolls are his life.

His wit won't cut you like a knife. Toon

out. Toon in. Toon about.

Toon to in. HuhDestitute. His

furballcat. He's never caught himself a

rat. Craving little sneezer stew.

But all he gets is achoo.

Yo, this bird's name is Little

Beeper. He's a k*ller in his

sneaker, chased by calamity.

Using coyote strategy. Toon out.

Toon in. Toon about. Toon to in.

Now this hawk's name is Hampton Pig.

Dining's his idea of big. He's eaten

three squares an hour. A glutton to the



Hmm.. Here, the birds, your typical

go-go, a brain that's anchored like a

yo-yo. Hey, then, from Rocky Land,

announced with Stable Hurt. That's bland.

Yo, when you dig the tiny tunes, you're

gonna swing, you're gonna swooze. And

when you see those tiny tunes, you're

gonna shout. You've got to cruise. Tune

out, tune in. Tunes are hot.

Tunes are in.

And now, at number four, it's Do You Love

Me?You broke

my heart 'cause I couldn't

dance. You didn't even want

me around. And now I'm

back to let you know I can

really shake 'em down.

Tell me

Do you

love me Do

you

love

me Do

you love me

Do

you like it like this?Do

you

And now, for those of you who are

terminally unhip, I should like to

translate these rather lovely

lyrics. Ahem. Do you

love me?Do you love me?

Now that I can dance. Thank you

very much. Make it

stop!

Make it stop! And

now for this week's number one video.

I can't stand the suspend! Then

sit down. It's yackity-yack.

Take out the papers and the trash

Or you don't get no spending cash

If you don't sell that kitchen slur

You ain't gonna rock and roll no more Yak

yak yak Don't dope that. Just finish

cleaning up your rules

Let's see that, let's start with that rule

Get all that garbage out

inside. Or you don't go out Friday night.

Daggity yak. Don't call back. You just

put on your coat and hat.

And walk yourself to the laundry mat.

And when you finish doing that,

bring in the dog and put out the cat.

Daggity yak. Don't call back.

Don't you give me no dirty looks

Your father hip, he knows what's good

Just tell your hoopla friend outside

You ain't got time to take a ride Jackie

yack Don't talk back. Jackie yack,

Jackie

yack Jackie yack, Jackie

yack

Well, that's our top ten. So,

until next time, remember, if you

can't be hit... Be shy. Buh-bye.