Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

02x03 - Goats

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dear Green Place". Aired: 19 October 2007 – 5 December 2008.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Scottish comedy programme set in a park in central Glasgow.

02x03 - Goats

Post by bunniefuu »

jerry welbach steve last you can you

walk that stool can you we all look he

winds up me see my nephews brother he's

got cousin please say do you need me to

[Music]

meet you practice just in case what

go armies just in case d and i thought

out george galloway did he start

although he's Scottish t shortly yours

done a push-up

comedy goes they're gone miracles not

the blech

[ __ ] course it's true of it is vine walk

in you Michael

and it makes nobody he's y'all go no

you're getting mad dog you see it in no

I mean you're getting my go Peter my own

Mouse d*ck d*ck what they were move able

gasps bollocks but he'd soak them up we

have X and unless that Michaels Lakes

that goose

see a gospel

somebody good Ally bridge

to me yeah

[Music]

the hopper nights tree after you pie

get out Jesus

a stage you promised me you try a new

leaf you say I'm not gonna win unless

just gimme it

why don't you go back to your bed just

give me that watch it that's it

you're gonna eat you are not governed me

I sure enough this is supposed to be a

fresh start you whose meaning a lot of

people go their entire life and never

get 11 possession we have the lucky ones

here take a do take a rest

[Music]

laughing aw did I give you - did you get

Igor give me don't eat cool man

I'll show you what this place is getting

worse

Ned's stealing goats she'd TT top high

flies I don't know get them past the

concierge they belonged to the council

nor Haiti we're gonna tell Tashi just

tell them the truth

you know seven foot tides you can't be

trusted to take a goat for a walk on a

lead blah blah blah eggs point what

those never anything Retton honest good

point dude I will always go easy on

Michelle because I ha but I find to say

that I will one day bed huh here you

well-heeled you Mia the atashi no sure

it's like you shut up you temper wedgies

docked for cheek milady

point three the goats fiasco no and the

council's bumper book of [ __ ] page

42 palette that 12 it clearly states

that goats and menos Sydney mingle huh

goats and menos hate each other I

thought that was pirates yeah I seen

this thing one team I may not take a

pirate dinner hall was all coughing spot

I just you know what could give the game

he's doing young witty what was kind of

like not honest I think I could have

watched that for the rest of my life no

it was like a part of lava lon

is that what may not sh**t no no no

that's a Davy lamp whose DV that's the

man who wins the lamp is that Noel Ladin

big happy genie you have a system yeah

what would you do if the DUI she's man I

got your JJB sports right point in a w*r

we oughta clean osbourne eyes it and get

a deal

messed up Anderson permission - piss off

- Tina's for a be who hi

all right piss off wine piss off all

blood piss off Louise

you did get shaky you behind there mr.

Henderson the hills arrested I'm Chloe

Tina's take the path ain't cause you

know yeah

one okay come on on your way come on

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Music]

some carry on ray and offer my horse

pelts consultants cares you're thanking

me

[Music]

Thank You Victor you can't clear the

class clown IUDs you can't go through

life looking up lousy Scouts and scrape

and putty after Wendy's wasn't it me and

whose to see the Lysa's don't like it

Julie glance it loves it and blue team I

won't fall it i semester boy sit paint

some trap impaired vet right that's

enough

look I'm here to advise your son you're

three weeks away from leaving this

school I mean where do you see your

career taking you and don't say football

player well quit get up peanut and a

career no still life you know for it not

fruit market so now we start but you'd

pay

hell no muscling your plum use people

are honest in I want golden moon whose

why send me McDonald well let's split

the difference

children's in after you know stake out

your duty me for some kind of soft touch

get up you excuse I get back

[Laughter]

do you know I don't care if as your pet

if it tanks another to clear I'm going

to flush it health and safety would have

a shutdown before we leave Norton's

right near Michelle then it's Lu goes up

the turn and filleted donate that new

club mental done what I thought Scott

made chef one or something we caught me

until dawn anyway stands at the bar wait

until you see out nest l*sbian boot

seven other guys afford me cackling like

ot so I caught the manager that was like

he had you I want no one for you then I

stuck this like in for me I'm she knows

100 by foot you mean me can t we have

chinos behind the bar it's against

health and safety Gino yeah deck get

that script top put it back in the

fridge Thanks so what happened well he

took Metis back office they pumped an

apology

why not say downloading invoices for

cider foot pegs that we go through

I shouldn't spud you yeah let me show

you this reject its nice natural do I

get to David that concern just a little

bit money right I said my tea set he

runs a new pickup at the cross it's

usually attained on a station I get it

for a fiver sexual favors yeah I caught

him top not my knees machines investor

like the first time up he used his best

tool as day I he taught me the whole

story

you stood on a short and flag right but

years next I brought them he was cutting

the debut our source Bovril good Evie

Daniels get this show up short but why

is it a smell all the dogs what hanging

a bit safety short lucky Lucas when we

commit then the pine nuts were like no

hookers never tippy they ended up with

the ladies in a clap I am legends or

something can you wait to me and I keys

mafia

you know he's get sky telling his

reception you've got sky tallying here I

could you see any Mongoose hanging up at

my front door

[Music]

if sup off me on dispatch clearing

drains and they in the morning that we

all saw still here bleeds and Evan

meanwhile leaves Wally's no no no this

place is two minutes for the battle and

see you back in the day

this places have been crawling with our

gangs the torch and the toy the Bison

and the Kumbi reg McCoy he's cork

chain-smoking Baldy b*stard Courtney

buying it sells in who sees no he's

another one of there's the crystal miss

are you just less than bold the [ __ ]

knew he that matter very sharp madam and

you just do your bed team where's the

old license he responds beside the

homeless unit but the Cure bit of the

daughter s team you need drinking the

lordy I am drew was that a look that

says don't get Wade we media fact that

I'm an alkene the edge just point me in

the direction of the officers

seem nice enough high salt with EF

[Music]

Henderson Disney two bad ones

you're just saying that cause you can't

eat you sloppy good to get messed up by

comes back but I have got the favorite

key you boys milk them yet

me we miss you I sh**t you I we don't

date catches teats pad just eats what

imaginable

these are cashmere goats you know

Kashmir is very expensive

I saw flags but I'll be pulling them off

for one they just washed them and give

them a good rush their courts are worth

more than you to earn in a fortnight -

Mia they're no gonna pull me off on you

you'll be are you there ginger gene too

many 40 redheads four clones

he's telling your my name is Chameli

chuckles and NASCAR fans favorite Larry

Murphy a big man loses less than a

barbaric learn I can make Bollinger a*s

my jokes and here's the knuckle so take

a deep breath whooping wait and let me

hear his checkered

monster spinner

a because most everybody gags off me

[Applause]

[Music]

the luck and muck boys oh yeah bus that

you meant not my fault

let's polish a good kiss follow first

fall get up didn't you bank guaranteed

well unique come with and say no I guess

that's why I'm here for a sane enough

shake well hurry up

you might have seen the roster be made

mr. Henderson high-strung VGC Ellen

scary it okay this is just after the

school on tape what's not unusual is he

throws up no no this was an alkie oxen

and an acre

Julia Norton are you going on that new

hearse you see she must be a Mason

Crescent that bear Jay your wife get it

out hammer and tongs you don't interrupt

a bench I caught you hi so Wendy we get

to meet the lovely mrs. Henderson

I mean Oh mister hinson

[Music]

on an airplane she's a I'll get a drink

help myself - after seeing via on the

house

yeah me yep

do you D special Jules sorry I'm seeing

DD hangings of E bad doesn't well that

would depend orbit goats GD goats duties

yes I'll do a goatee only you seem to be

a suit one no no no I'll get to it

wasn't you one can you guys stop for

Kasbah

[Music]

like I see I merely have approached her

for openly drinking alcohol in the pod

she laughed in my face and called me a

Tweedy prick narang her eyes then I

produced ID and verbally began to

caution her to wit she called me a Baldy

b*stard she seems like a very good

laughs a woman at the edge delusional

she's ready to have our husband sack me

she's our fun now a man wants to buy

whatever man we talk with her she seemed

very insistent that her man would as she

said put his to up my haul so just a

pass anyway you know a fluke

this is lately well no see it again oh

she claims she was living here what come

intro class she said drunk she's looking

for help she's not gonna find it you

know she's spotted again Paulus she

spotted again shower she'll be making a

shape mine's not the scut I may have

folds another gown or napkin great

that's enough Paula still deal with

nights I which is the big play ignore

mocked

I part wait for the years that's fine

paid unlocked your kiss paid single guy

kanaky hall can t sleep can t sleep for

not getting his Hall what if it was

mocked single g*y ananias hall can you

sleep can he sleep for not getting his

hole

is different for you all right

Muriel I can make all the difference

[Music]

happy 75th blah blah 20 quid result

Oh

watch and learn son

books lotta nice chick too dodgy Bango

oh hey sorry I'll take that with the

beans heat the gas I hit suspicious

blame the Deaf new star what for the

cool you are they knew that what you're

flying why man

I'll ask me well done

but bill black bill I have no defeat Oh

[Music]

before you ask we don't stock Burberry

and know our Pringles do not come in

cardboard shoes should they judge a book

by its cover me many nudes walk through

your door we have a goddess floss candy

floss hey I like it off look this ski is

hot

I need Shafter have you tried the

carnival it's cashmere

it's the best I give to all the golfers

wear it do I talk Turkey come over here

you see that that is my panic button for

25 years I've had this shoppi I never

had a call to use it there's been days

when I've prayed for a junkie a [ __ ] or

even a streaker but nothing and now you

come in with your contraband Kashmir

tsch

it's missing visibility alone however

does not merit the pressing of the

bottom

by dipping women chatter chattering

goats ah I think that'll do

[Laughter]

the messy business out here vagrants and

their slippers well it's been dealt with

so just leave it I mean I know it's not

exactly our will either w*nk*r scenario

but that's how these things start well

then the mind covers I keep it as

cutting a bit apart terrorizing

vulnerable woman but hardly at nights

did you get on the phone oh right oh

dear no the battery's not maybe sure

we're never gonna she's not exactly

Helen of Troy

Archer she's a clear and present danger

but to her

[Music]

you need that's lesson get him back to

the park

I bet he's worn the ba*ls didn't like

that she bought you a tab Divya - was

one of our ages ago

yeah some course don't clap donkeys on

boots your sleep can't you greet me up

with important stuff pop ID lunch aim

thing yeah all right let's look a

rebuilt lost and on orderly we just had

that boy see it at the vets council nor

have vans for transport

hi they can't drive so you're on your

way back to the park thing what is a

feminine eatin so he brought up late and

keep a fast each though no look reason I

haven't said they had tax it's we give

him a shave I'll get blankets for them

up but it's a shame Anna come on right

I'm going to have to say at you know

before I do have you get anything on you

that you shouldn't have I my brother's

box or shorts great you wasn't a bag

that's back yes

that's Paulie back I let's probably back

here mmm-hmm

say candy floss I said no

mm no options no means no no forum

well mr. Armstrong

we know appear to be in possession of

all the facts your test results came

late yesterday but as you were coming

today anyway I decided to leave it now

let me start by saying that this

condition has been detected at a very

early stage we have a great chance of

fighting it that said that our agree

many challenges ahead and what we are

concentrating on here is slowing the

progression now I can't tell you at this

point how aggressive this will be again

age health lucky even are all factors

but I'd like to start you on some

medication and suggest you come back to

me in three weeks now I have some

literature here which you should take

home and read I'm sorry mr. Knab strong

but I have to go - well speak to you in

a moment

are you so much did you get for the goat

[ __ ]

hee-haw spewed up null in that step end

up with s rash or even to boldly

traumatize goats and there they kind of

get a kept she'd start a support group

what was that no nothing I don't - you

go - well hunt damn alkie gosh she's so

full of it

last scene sail on a boat Lerner

direction he's he'd I think she's about

to drop anchor I gave him a key unlocked

it Samara you like you're nothing they

began on me actually I need your keys

listen I don't even know who you are

dear I'm so on your a and they don't

annoy us because this is a council

property I warned Jackie

now lass come on nice meeting you mrs.

Henderson

[Music]

[Music]

yeah yeah teeth ah

I laugh I go far no I don't mean wet but

I mean wet by do you mean why

hey why did they eat the [ __ ] I don't

know what I'm doing tonight

sheesh a deep fight by what by goat [ __ ]

no I don't mean what by me but what for

like it is about

[Applause]