Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x02 - Episode 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Karen Dunbar Show". Aired: 9 January 2003 – 7 April 2006.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Recurring characters in the show included Shoeless Josie, a blonde drunkard, often seen carrying a bag of chips, and Almost Angelic, a Pub 'n' Club duo from Ayrshire, consisting of Angela Silvery and her tolerant husband Ricky.

01x02 - Episode 2

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

woo

[Music]

W woo

[Music]

Mary this is rare but you've not touched

your scone the lass is still to bring

the butter we'll ask for her to bring

the butter over didn't like to don't

worry excuse me

dear yes where's the [ __ ]

butter the but

what is sorry thank

you you see you just need to know how to

ask excuse me hey could you tell me

where I could find

poetry in the eyes of a

[Laughter]

puppy tonight at 9 tough new drama set

in a

prison girls in

it a prison with new

arrivals I'm a bad bad girl they done me

for indecent exposure lud and lascivious

Behavior ill*gal es caral activity in

public place driving while engaged in

procreation and stripping without

permit so think you're a stripper

then well prove

[Music]

it a prison where it's dog eat

D so darling time to read pay big Maggie

for those snouts I bored

you based on genuine real life events in

a women's prison look sharp girls it's

time for the wet t-shir

competition tough gals drama that's

nitty and gritty with

[Music]

titty oh

did you get that here do been shagging a

pine

what I say that out

loud today on proving Proverbs we will

be dissecting the age old proverb the

pen is mightier than the

Sal first we place this

pen on this

stand if indeed the pen is mightier than

the sword then it should act as an

effective defensive Shield against the

sword

swing Dr Flipside The

Sword and assume the position

please are you

ready then here we go

[Laughter]

well it would seem that the pen is

nowhere near as mighty as the sword

there making this a proverb

disproved

goodbye next week on proving proverb

lecture

46d laughter is the best

medicine you going to for a couple of

[Music]

days it's only Mor but it's okay if you

get the weather

mhm right um will we better get going

then I we've got to get that stationary

order

[Music]

out very good now bug it off the P of

you

okay you girl show me what's in your

pockets at the start of the night and at

the end of the night too because you

girls T and we fs and I I got overheads

you see this two fans you know double

wrap unless I say so and you not touch

the [ __ ] either I hand the [ __ ] for the

customers okay and if you get a shut

five in or 10 in and we not take 20s you

do

it C

pound girl sh for pound fives and

tens five to quiet 10 that's better

right let's see how you get on with the

customer yes sir what do you want H bag

of chips please get the on

bag hurry up fter you going to

f no r r sorry about the girl s she's

hopeless

[Music]

that's 1 20

sir thank you now you practice with the

chips idiot girl you should to put the

money in the still fast how much you

drop you get your s up Us com your Wes

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

a interpretations of

dreams if you dream of a monk you will

get hay

fever

[Music]

Dre the old

M where were you yesterday I spent the

entire entire afternoon with my darling

nephew Callum oh lovely quality time is

such a precious commodity yes I took him

to lunch to Planet Friday's wanted to

treat the little chap oh but there was

such an awful wait for a table and as we

were standing there this haridan jumped

right in in front of us how rude what

did you do I just grabbed the back of

her collar stuck my fingers up her arel

and lifted her like a six-pack she moved

back quick sharp good for

you so tell me how was your trip

fantastic I need a holiday to go over my

holiday hey cliche cops put the drink in

come

in as you we ladies and gentlemen as you

we

[Music]

their vocalist a pop group

queen

queen HRA

hastra

okay

George

B GE by

M does answer of correct is Freddy

[Music]

Merina is your Leos

[Music]

[Music]

yes I was abducted by aliens so I was I

was just walking along the High Street

minding my own business when this big

light came out the sky and I was lifted

up by this kind of gravitational thingy

and the next thing I know I was lying on

this operating table Malarkey type of

thing and pardon my French they were

probing my

holes they were implanting seeds in me

to propagate a racer alien stroke human

whole probing hybrids

that's that's why I didn't make it to

say

on okay say here

[Applause]

please tonight at 11 how professionals

make love this week the social worker

who's your daddy who's your daddy who's

your daddy who's your daddy who's your

daddy who's your

daddy now you just sit there and we'll

see if we cany find your your mommy for

you all right attention please with the

mother of a small boy who was found

wandering the cereal and snack ale

please report to the security office

thank you that's a shame into your mommy

leaving you all alone like that

attention please is there somebody

that's maybe no got what to come in with

maybe he's missing something like maybe

he's a way or something a way C what's

your name son Billy oh that's a lovely

name his name's Billy so if you're not

too busy filling up your trolley with

cheap wine and [ __ ] then report to the

security office and you've got one

minute by the way because if you're not

there but then I'm keeping them cuz

that's company policy and if it isn't

then is no because see F like you you

shouldn't be allowed to have

wings don't worry son you'll be much

better off with me I'm your new Auntie

Moira I had the bll talk

really did the trick but it wasn't the

most comfortable experience you've had

something done haven't you

shley yes I have yes all the n*pples

extended really boosted my confidence is

that a painful operation sh not really

no I mean so the next morning but uh it

was well worth it

yeah they certainly are very very very

perky how much did it

cost much change back from five

grand maybe I should consider it I'm

sure George would love me to have them I

must say I've had uh no complaints in

the bedroom

department and it must be said you could

have someone's eye out with one of those

things more

sometimes I think that the rest of the

world has went Nook Gaga doesn't matter

where you go or what you look at sex is

selling

something I watched an advertisement

only the other day for wait for it

furniture polish bloody furniture polish

get this in comes a woman she's dusting

the house and she's wearing a we short

skirt right then in comes a man sees the

misses in the said short skirt and get

guess what he says to guess what he says

to he says I'll do the dust in hand if

you let me use your skirt as a

duster well he didn't actually say that

but that's what he meant because correct

me if I'm wrong this would be highly

unusual but what fa in his right mind

would offer today the housew work if he

didn't think he was going to get a jump

at the end of eh the only reason a man

would ever push a Hoover a semi as if

he's got one his cell

hether hether D have lipstick in her

teeth get

off sorry I st the

signals Roberta Hangman's guilt by

Hernandez Gomez Rodriguez did it have

you in

suspense I was

amazed at this work such a rich collage

of intellectual and emotional vignet

woven gracefully together to create an

Uber novel which questioned existence of

self of moral veritude and the base

juter position of the corporeal and the

super

corporeal Hustle

this Quarry dates back to when the

majority of the country's male Workforce

were involved in manual labor judging

from the depth this area was rich in

Copper oh that looks

great moving on ignore her everyone it

was a dummy you can see it was a dummy

it was a dummy right

now fine

like I want to see that new band last

night like puddle of blood tissue oh

they're such an issue based band they're

not into that like big corporate [ __ ]

thing at all I mean they actually listen

to the people yeah and I met their lead

singer Bol wow he was just like so

chilled and we spoke and we so like

bonded how long did you talk to him for

right up until he'd finished signing M

cool

scoer okay recruits listen up welcome to

day one of underwater search and rescue

in front of you is your breathing

apparatus please pick it up and put it

on your

back remember yours remember

[Laughter]

Ro Schneider we're going need to pick a

Bo

fantastic y

[Laughter]

out interpretations of dreams if you

dream of a cactus you will play the

piccolo

[Music]

good afternoon Miss

Lacy good afternoon Mr masteron and may

I be so bold as to comment upon how

radiant you look today oh Mr Mastery

Miss l would it be frightfully rude of

me to request a perambulation amongst

the roaded endrin I he till they are a

glorious Vista to cast one's Eyes

Upon I can see no reason why an innocent

stroll should cast out upon my virtue I

agree sir I will walk with

you now that you have uh consented to

walk out with me and indeed made mention

of your virtue may I solicit your

permission to make a short detour to Mr

Greenberg's apothecary

are you in want of a much needed medical

necessity Mr Maron this particular

necessity may be an offensive item to

your delicate ear Miss La my ears are

pricked sir and my intention is to save

your cheeks from

burning come come Mr Maron I rather

assume by your demeanor that your

intention is to purchase a triplicate of

India rubber sheet Miss lately I'm quite

UND prior to our perambulation it is

indeed My Wish wish to acquire myself of

a vulcanized sperm Catcher And on

receipt of necessity my intuition tells

me that you intend to seek out a

secluded Glade amongst the roaded

entrance which are beautiful at this

time of year and deflower me L if your

permission is forthcoming I beg you lie

with your legs in the air like a common

trumpet whil I pump back and forth like

a piston on the famous Stevenson steeven

rocket then let us hasten to Mr

greenbergs without further Ado I find

myself strangely gagging for hoty clust

from your manly

[Music]

loins now boys and girls a huge mega

treat here on kid TV all the way from

America in fact they've just got off a

big airplane and reached our studio in

the neck of time it's Randy and bossom

the FunDome

[Music]

Tome hi who wants to be fun

rained we know a fun song about a

hen clock clock clock a hen called

Annie has anyone here seen Annie

whatever happened to Annie I've searched

every alien cranny but I still don't

know what happened to

Annie Annie F her Fanny Annie F her

Fanny boy oh boy did anny cursed when

she went falling fny

first fny CL bing bang bing

bang fell on her everybody

[Music]

[Applause]

great stuff now we've all just learned a

new word that we can only use in America

thank

[Laughter]

you how's your Dexter is me some can say

jonath oh no and he was just stting

Friday you know I I know next sooner is

on the door with 20 b for me then the

b*stards left them on the b*stard

b*stards

b*stards you'd think they'd have

something better today it's

victimization what did they left them

for

gbh again I but I know for a fact it was

name m ex it was that bad we b*stard

Jason mclin he been a Rion ring i

[Music]

r so how did they get on to your

text well before mclin suck in the GB he

got him sell a black puding supper out

of neptun

pant then it goes and shares it with

myter

d

d bang on they got my de DNA for my Clin

black

p but that DNA evidence can be

inconclusive that a su pig without one

and

conclus

Su and anyway CH fat neutralizes 70% of

usable nuclear T that's

true your DNA evidence might be good for

your bank F justice system but we're

talking about Scot's law here so you

need to get fired in with character

Witnesses and build up your case my body

would speak up for him it's a shame your

B still inside for and robbery but it

wasn't his fault he just fell in a bad

clothes

Caroline yes I'm Michael it's nice to

meet you Michael yeah I'm so sorry I'm

late I always visit an old woman on a

Tuesday that's nice of you yeah but

terrible trouble getting an erection

this week

[Laughter]

may may Mayo May

hey M you another

C Michel m

m

oops sorry P sorry that is that

r

that smash