02x01 - Secrets of the Guardian Strike Sword

[bunniefuu]

Ace: hmm, let's see.

I think I'll have a double scoop
of mint chocolate chip.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Make that a double

Vanilla fudge ripple.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

How about a double

Pistachio almond

With some sprinkles there.

Hey, uh, let's compromise, doc,

And just give me
all of the above.

I'll work it off

Saving the world

From something.

Huh?

Whaah!

Ooh. That peanut butter
carrot ripple

Really packs a wallop.

Huh?

I'd like to stay and chat,

But as you can see,

I got a train to catch.

Hmm. There's gotta
be a brake switch

Somewhere on this thing. Yaah!

That's my train to rob,
you no-good, long-eared varmint.

In a few minutes,

Ophiuchus sam is gonna be
the richest,

Rootin'est-tootin'est outlaw
west of orion's belt.

Maybe then you can upgrade
that robo-donkey.

Ohh! Whoa!

You know,
I hear it's less drafty

Riding inside the train.

Hey, thanks for
the travel tip, doc.

Hold still,

So's I can vaporize you
into smithereens.

Yaah!

The name's deuce.

It looks like

You could use some help.

What would ever give you
a silly idea like that?

Call it a hunch.

Hah!

Kiss your butt good-bye,
you ornery, flea-bitten varmint.

Thanks!

Yeah.

Looks like we're

Running out of track.

* Rock 'n' set,
loonatics, let's jet *

* Rev, lexi, and tech *

* Slam, and duck *

* Rock 'n' set, let's jet *

* Ace is cool
and leads the pack *

* Laser sword
strikes 'em back *

* When big, bad bots
smash and attack *

* Lexi's brain-blast
makes 'em crack *

* Quackin' in, quackin' out *

* Duck will
make invaders shout *

* Activate, regenerate *

* Magnetic power levitates *

* Rock 'n' set, let's jet *

* Bam, slam *

* Tornado zing bling baubles *

* Set, let's jet *

* Supersonic rev heats 'em up

At the speed of light *

* Set, let's jet *

* R-r-rock 'n' set, let's jet *

* Whoo! Powers
to protect and serve *

* Tons of ego,
lots of nerve *

* Never question,
never swerve *

* Loonatics unleashed *

Let's bolt.

Go ahead and high-tail it
outta here.

The train and everything
on it now belongs

To--uhh!

Me.

Yah, mule.

Ace: thanks for
the assist, deuce.

Yeah. We make
a pretty good team.

Hey, ace, did you hear about

The runaway train
at the park today?

Hear about it?

I got bruises to show for it

In places I don't like to show.

Hey, lex, this is
my new pal, deuce.

If it weren't for him--heh--

My furry white tail
would be toast.

No big deal.
You might say I have a way

Of being in the wrong place
at the right time.

Sounds like you and ace
have a lot in common.

Ace, I've been
to every corner of the galaxy,

But I've never seen a bad-boy
sword like that before.

Thanks. It was given to me

When I got into
the action-hero business.

Can I hold it?

Duck: hey! I don't

Have to take this.

We've worked together a year,

And you never once

Let me hold your sword.

I won't even ask.

Hey, zodavia, there's someone
I'd like you to meet.

This here is--

Deuce. Hmm.

I never thought
I'd see you again.

You two know each other?

Only too well.

Hey, is something wrong?

Let's just say deuce and I

Have had our differences
in the past.

She's right. Look,
I know I made some mistakes.

I'm only here to ask
your forgiveness

And a chance to start over.

Then you've made
a very long trip for no reason.

Perhaps I should leave.

Not perhaps. Definitely.

Ace: so, uh, why the bum's rush
on deuce, zodavia?

During the fall of freleng,
the last craft to depart

Was the royal intergalactic
quasar train.

It was rumored to have
carried cargo

That could make a man king.

Duck: wowie! Sounds like code
for treasure.

Zodavia: pay attention, duck!

Duck: what?

Zodavia: a stray photon blast

Struck the transport

And caused it to launch
prematurely on a runaway course.

It disappeared into a wormhole
and was believed lost forever...

Until recently.

I fear the arrival of deuce
is no coincidence.

You think
he's after the train?

It's also possible
that he's changed.

A risk I cannot take.

The train must be stopped

Before it falls
into the wrong hands.

Look, even if we can stop
this ton of metal,

How do we find it?

It's not like we can catch it

At our local wormhole depot.

I may be able
to help on that.

In a few moments, I will have
the exact time and coordinates

Where the next wormhole
will appear.

According to my algorithm,

It will open in exactly


This will let you know
how long you have.

Tech, you and lexi keep
monitoring the situation.

Everyone else, it's time to jet.

Hey, what's mr. Popular
still doing here?

You've been eavesdropping
about our train.

Look, I heard about
the quasar train

And thought
if I could bring it back,

Well, maybe I could earn
zodavia's trust again.

Huh.

Yeah, another sob story.

Look, look,
world's tiniest violin.

So, uh, do you always
give up so easily?

What are you doing?

Duck, he saved my life.

And your point?

Everyone deserves
a second chance.

You should know that
better than anyone.

Ace: ok, loonatics...

Ready...

Set...

Let's jet.

Ace: looks like our train
is right on time.

Deuce: let's catch our ride.

Yaah!

We gotta work fast
and stop this choo-choo

Before the wormhole
closes again.

Duck, slam, check the cars.

Rev and I will go up front.

Why, them no-good,
mangy polecats.

No one steals the train
I'm a-stealin',

Or my name ain't ophi--

Ichi

Whatever it is.

Yah, mule.

Every train comes
with an emergency cord.

There's gotta be one
around here somewhere.

Looking for a cord.
Looking for a cord.

Looking for a cord.
There it is!

Huh?

Now I got ya
right where I want ya.

Slam, do something.

Say adios to acmetropolis...

Duck: yipes!

And say hello to oblivi--
oblu--

Ehh, whatever you call it.

Ooh, hold still,
you confounded bird.

Sorry.
Duck can't go out and play

Until he finishes his homework.

Thanks, deuce.

My hero.

Aha. I gotcha.

Huh? There's no way

That goldarn feather duster

Could have got away.

Are you sure he didn't slip
away, because he's awfully fast

And can slip away faster
than you can say, "slip away,"

Even though "slip away"

Can be said awfully fast.

Hey, you look awful familiar.

Say sayonara, beak breath.

Nice work, deuce.

Nice assist, ace.

Aw, thanks, deuce.
Ace was sure right about you,

Even though we don't
know anything about you,

But we're sure glad you're here
or I wouldn't

Be here to be glad
that you're here.

Rev, keep your eyes peeled

For anything
that looks like brakes.

Hey, how come it's me

That's always gettin'
the cow cud knocked out of him?

Where's that goldarn treasure?

All in due course, sam.

First ace's sword,
then the treasure.

And then I'll take care
of floppy ears.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Aw, floppy ears.

That's a good one.

You're not foolin' nobody.

You and whiskers here
are in cahoots.

You're smarter than you look.

Yeah, well,
I'd almost have to be.

Come on, slam.
Let's go tell ace.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
put your little plan on hold.

Whoa!

You think you got us?

Unh! Ok, you got us.

This isn't looking good, rev.

We gotta bolt.

We have only seconds

Before the wormhole closes.

Yaah!

Huhh!

Yaah!

I'm sure our little secret
will be kept long enough.

Ohh!

Ace: where's duck and slam?

I tried saving 'em,
but was too late.

They entered
the time-space continuum.

They could be anywhere,
at any time.

Duck: we're doomed,
doomed, I tell you!

Stuck to rot in a wormhole,
like--like...

Worms.

Slam, we gotta find

Something to eat.

We could be in here
for a while.

I can't believe it.

Dozens of cars,

And no food and no treasure.

That's not food.
That's robo-junk.

Ace: according
to tech's tracker,

A wormhole will open up here
for just a few moments.

Unh!

Looks like you reached
the end of the line, greenhorn.

Prepare for
an old-fashioned bushwhackin'.

Come back here.

Unh!

Aah!

Ace, your sword!

Toss me your sword!

Ace!

Thanks, pal.

Sam, laughing: I can't believe

He fell for it.

He's even dumber than me.

I've been waiting
a long time for this.

Aah! Ohh!

Uhh.

Aah!

Gaah!

Hope there's
no hard feelings,

But ask if I care.

Guardian strike sword!

Huh?

Come on, slam.

Whoa!

Huh?

Unh!

Ace, whatever you do,
don't give deuce your sword.

It's a scam.

Uh, by the way,
where is your sword?

Thanks, ace.

Now I have everything I need.

Sam: let me outta here.

I said let me out.

There hasn't been a jail built
that can hold ophi--

Odi--obibu--uh...

Uh, me.

Let me out of here.

Zodavia, I don't know
what to say.

I should have listened to you
about deuce.

And I thought I was
the only one

Who ever screwed up
around here.

Zodavia: it's not entirely
your fault, ace.

I should have told you
the entire story.

Back on freleng,

Deuce was once one

Of my most powerful generals,

Who was determined to lead

The greatest army
ever assembled.

But tensions grew between us
when I refused

To place all of freleng
under his command.

Deuce was only interested
in glory for himself.

When the uprising took place,

He and his army were
nowhere to be found.

So after all that,

Deuce came
across the entire galaxy

Just to steal some treasure?

Well, the joke's on him.

Slam and I checked that train
from top to bottom,

And there ain't no treasure.

The cars are filled with nothing

But broken-down robots,

Many of which have been eaten.

That's it. It was
his army he was seeking,

His army of robots.

So why did he take
ace's sword?

That sword once belonged to
the greatest of all warriors,

One of the guardians of freleng.

It holds powers
you cannot imagine.

My sword has powers?

How come you never
told me this before?

Great power used too soon
can create as much harm as good.

It will come to you
when you're ready.

I think I read that
in a fortune cookie once.

Deuce knows the powers
of the sword better than anyone.

Without tech's tracker,

How are we gonna find

Deuce or the train?

Deuce has probably mapped

Where the wormholes will appear.

All we gotta do is follow

The one person who knows
where to find them.

Won't he be suspicious

If we just let him go?

Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

There's gotta be some way

Out of this rathole.

Ohh! What the sam...

Aha.

Sometimes I'm so smart
I scares even me.

Yaah!

Free at last. Free at last.

Old sammy's free at last.

Huh. This place looks familiar.

Ooh.

Ohh!

Huh?

Like I said,

There ain't been a jail built
that can hold the red fox.

Hyah, mule.

Deuce: my tracker says we're due

For a wormhole right about now.

How did you get here?

Well, I used my wits
and escaped

Them lowdown looney-tics.

I see.

They let the fool escape

So he'd lead them to me.

No matter.
They can't stop me now anyway.

Ace: you might as well
fold your hand, deuce.

It's all over.

No. It's all over for you.

Mmm, unh! Gotcha.

Guardian strike sword!

Guardian sword, ride!

Sam: sure showed them, huh?

Hey, I think
your spurs are untied.

Oh. Thanks, deucey.

Aah!

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh.

Some outlaws have no honor.

Now what?

I lost the sword.

It's up to me
to get it back.

Hyah!

Hey, deuce, is this
how you treat your friends?

I have no friends,
just victims.

Nyah, hah!

Unh! Very nice.

Perhaps you should consider
a career as a carpenter,

Where you might have a future.

Once I awaken my army of robots,

I will conquer all who stand
in the way of my sword.

I'd like you to meet
a few of my associates,

The finest army in the universe.

Ooh. Nice robo-army.

You must save a fortune
on uniforms.

If you'll excuse me,
I have a galaxy to conquer.

Oh, yeah. Rip him to pieces.

You again.

Strike sword!

Yaah! Ahh.

I never thought
the great general deuce

Would hide behind a sword.

Soon I will achieve my goal
of intergalactic greatness

And reign supreme
across the galaxy.

Oh, yeah. Sort of
the chicken and the egg thing.

So what is it?

Are you an egg or a chicken?

Huh

Aah! Oh, no.

Yaah!

Guardian strike sword,
come to me.

It's all over, ace.

Can't say it's been
a pleasure, deuce,

'Cause it hasn't.

Hi-yah!

Zodavia: great power
will come to you

When you're ready.

Ok, guardian strike sword,
it's showtime.

Nooooo!

Hey, how about that?
It works.

Oh.

Once again, ace,
you did a magnificent job.

Not only did you
recover your sword,

But you proved yourself
a true warrior

Worthy of the guardians
of freleng.

Hey, uh, about the sword,
when are you gonna tell me

All its secrets
and everything it can do?

In time. Too much knowledge
can be a dangerous thing.

So can too little knowledge.

I mean, really,
it's just a sword.

Yiiii!

Is there a draft in here?

Very nice.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Hey, eyes up front.

* R-r-rock 'n' set, let's jet *