01x11 - Hide and Go Lurch/Hook, Line and Stinkers/A Sword Fightin' Thing

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together The Addams Family

Their house is a museum Where people come

to see 'em They really are a street

The Addams Family

Neat Sweet

So get a witch's shawl on

A broomstick you can crawl on We're gonna

pay a crawl onThe Family

They're creepy and they're creepy

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together spooky The Addams

Family

Mom, why don't we just trash my old head

vice?I'm too big for it now. Yes, and

I've outgrown the comfort of Uncle

Fester's pickled tonsil sloshing next to

me at bedtime. Because, my little

Gastlings, we Addamses never throw away

old memories. We cherish them in

here, the attic.

Cool. This is where we Addamses keep

what we've outgrown throughout the years.

My old baby butter, grannies, Reginald

T, and bocce.

Each a charming memory.

Oh, good. Aha.

Uh, those lazy summer days when I added

those air holes to Fester's skull. Ha ha.

Youth is fleeting, children. Enjoy it

while you can. Count on it, dude.

Darling, remember what I wore on our

honeymoon?Uh, Tish, you

look so good in mahogany. And look,

a picture of dear Uncle Fester before

he shed his first head. Didn't we used to

have that old noggin kicking around here

somewhere?Isn't it wonderful, darlings?

A special place to store the cherished

moments from the past. Oh,

look. It's the throw rug

from the living room where Uncle Chunky

had his first coughing fit. Great.

g*ns in August. Family, guess what I

found?Uncle Fester's first head?Does the

third eye still blink?No, no, no, no

Better. It's the one and only

hiding horn. I thought it was

lost. OhhIt brings back the

memories. Oh, Fester will be thrilled.

Wednesday, be a dear and fetch your

uncle, please. 'Tis my pleasure, mother.

Behold a pile of ants.

Ohh Do I dare believe my sore bloodshot

itchy eyes?

Leave away, dear brother. The hiding horn

is back.

Oh, big Gomez.

Dad, Uncle Fester, what's the big deal

about an old horn?Only the greatest game

we ever played, son. Yeah, back when we

were little friars like you. First, we'd

blow the horn as loud as we could,

hopefully passing out from

hyperventilation. Then Lurch

would have until midnight to find us.

And he always did. Ah, that's right,

Tish. In all those years, we never once

could shake the big fella. Except that

one time we tied him to the fault line.

Uh, Gomez, we were just young

pups and Lurch was well into puberty.

Young pups. Imperial idea, Fester.

Gomez, you nearly broke a rib.

Want to try again?Later,

Fester. Right now we've been given a

second chance, a rematch. Us against

Lurch, like the old days. You know, I'm

ready for an eight-rounder.

But

this time, dear brother, we're grown-up

adults, smarter, wiser,

saltier. Isn't it wonderful to

see two Adam siblings who love each other

so much?Yes, Mother.

Rope. Check. Flashlight.

Check. Nitro.

Double check.

Bad news for you, old boy. We

found the hiding horn.

Ah ha ha! Finding little kids is one

thing, but finding sophisticated mature

adults is quite another. Right, Fester?

No, right. Umm

See you after midnight, my good man. And

not a minute sooner.

Ah, perfect.

The sun she has set and lurch is busy

below.

Wish us luck.

Good luck, darling. We know you

can do it, Dad. Break a leg, Father.

Oh, I can only wish.

Ready?Yeah.

The other end, old man.

Oh, sorry. Punch it.

We're off to a booming start, Fester.

Night's still young, old man.

Yikes.

Think we lost him, Fester?

Ohh Well, thanks anyway,

Ed. By the way, old man, you missing a

motorcycle?

your

helmet. Hey, we could always hide in my

coat. And suffer the same fate as Aunt

Sticky when she climbed in?Oh, yeah, I'm

still having her electronically removed.

Uh-huhI know a place where even a crafty

bloodhound-like lurch shouldn't find us.

Faster. The vultures are

starting to circle. Well, if you'd

hold still for a second, one of them

might land and start pecking.

Lemonade.

sh**t.

Lurch can't find us if he can't see us.

Till hiding.

Now, let's shed these clothes and our

invisibility will be complete.

Thanks, Lurch. Oh, not

again.

He found us in quicksand, found us on the

moon. He even found us in Aunt Ben's

sundress. I tell you, Gomez, that

palooka's got eyes in the back of his

head. Or was that cousin

Fluid?No, he had ears on his

ankles. Oh, yeah. Man, did he have a hard

time buying shoes. Oh, Fester,

you've just got to hand it to Lurch. He

can cook, he can dust, he can find two

men in a laundry hamper. He's simply our

superior. Brother of mine, I hoped it

wouldn't come to this, but we do have one

last hope. My emergency hiding

place. I didn't want to tell you about

it, but we are two desperate

umbres. Well, whatever it is, brother,

do it.

Mr. Adams,

We did it! After all these years, the

genius that is my brother. Not only have

we finally outwitted Lurch, but we gained

the extra benefit of walking funny for

weeks. Well, I try.

Friend Lurch, confess. You

knew they were under that weight all the

time, did you not?

Ah, you old softie.

Well, Fester, I guess we'll never have to

hide from Lurch again. Yeah, no

more humiliation. No more

dragging our names through the mud. What

have we done?Uh

oh, somebody better do something.

Father, Uncle Fester.

Murch has something to say. Ahem.

Does he not?I'll

let you win. Well,

tie me up and paint bugs on my face.

You mean we were duped?Cheated?

Buffaloed?Bingo.

Glad to hear it, Governor. Thank you.

Bless your artificial hearts.

Ah, the victory is fleeting lurch, old

boy. You know what happens after a hiding

horn day?We blow the

looking horn, and then it's our turn to

look for you. Ha ha. You're in trouble

now, Spanky.

You don't stand a chance this time,

Lurch. Lurch?

This away, bro-meisters!

Why do they even try?

We may never know. Oh, well. Come

along. Let us retire to bed, Pugsley.

No comment.

Stop. What

about me?

Okay.

Not bad.

Tracks, shut-through house, flood

basement, trash rooms. Yep, we're done.

Lurch?We finished our chores. May

we play now?

Cool. Hey, Wince, they want to go outside

and attract swarms of insects. I've

still got Uncle Wince's cheese and nut

log from last Christmas. Outside.

Dearless brother, do you think that's

such a good idea?Oh, yeah. We're too

young to go outside without our parents

being home, and Mom and Dad took thing to

get his yearly shots. That lucky body

part. Hey, let's find something to do

inside.

Perchance. We can tie you to a stick and

clean out the chimney. OK.

Hi there.

Gotcha. Stuffed in a

gunny sack. Drug up a chimney.

Treat it like dirt. Wow. Is this

an early birthday present or what?

Be quiet. This scheme will trap

double oh, it and you are

bait. Wow. We haven't

been bait since Father took us fishing in

the Gulf.

Oh, can I fly?No, don't touch it. Look,

Wednesday. No hands.

Oh,

no. Our mother told us you should never

get that close to power lines.

Smart lady. Wow,

we haven't been to the Adam Summer

Cottage since since last summer

brain gone. Excuse me,

Sir, why are we climbing through the

window?Because this place is

booby trapped when it shows up.

Pow bang boom. He's

history. Oh,

that explains the tripwires.

Isn't that snappy?Aw, look!

He's giving them his special love gnaw.

Sit still. Pardon, moi,

but that's not a very good knot you're

tying there. Yeah, that's cinchy to get

out of. It is?Uh-huh

See, you loop the end through the top

like this.

That's tight. See how well it

holds?Oh, it's

snappy. So cute, so

cuddly, and he's still hungry.

Let's see if we can find him a little

snack. Why us?Nope,

nothing

here. Nor I. Sorry, friend,

Snappy. No snacks today. Hey,

where'd the guys go?Gentlemen,

hello?

What harm can they do locked in a

closet?Uh, look, Pugsley.

Uncle Fester's first plunger.

Gee, I wonder if it still works.

Give us that!

Oh, no. Wee goof.

This job sure stinks.

You stay here. We'll catch

it. Where did you find that,

Huxley Adams?You should put that X

back where you found it. It's not

yours. Oh, OK.

Oh, great.

That's smart.

Oh, look. Snappy's pummeling them

relentlessly with his tail. Ratboy,

he must like them.

I slash we don't remember setting

this trap. Well, we felt kind of

bad about ruining some of your other

traps. So we set up a few

ourselves. Lucky us.

Parkin, Pugsley. Company.

We. We is a troop of traveling

boxers looking for someones to practice

on. Well, they may want to know.

Thanks you.

Aw, Pugsley. Does not

Yonder Scuffle bring sweet memories of

family picnics past?That and Uncle

Fester laying carpet with Aunt Sumo.

Hi, Lurch. Hi, Cousin Ed. Lurch, we

didn't mean to leave the house, but our

new friends must have really wanted to

play. No problem.

You must save us from those horrors.

We're too young to die.

Throw us in a maximum security

prison?Thank you!

Thank you!

Goodbye. Safe

at last.

Oh, poor snappy. He's going to

miss his new playmates, and he's

never been to prison. Wow, so pretty

badly should have snapped

into. Come

on, Wednesday, let's go find some

firewood.

Gomez, dear, are you feeling rested yet?

Not yet. Well, it certainly doesn't look

very comfortable in there. It's not.

Before long, my back will be a twisted

mass of pain. Good. I'm off

to the funeral parlor to preview next

year's caskets. We do so need to replace

the one in the bedroom. Aunt Stiffy will

appreciate it. Have fun, Caramia. Au

revoir, darling. Titch, you spoke French.

Gomez, dear. You're supposed to be

relaxing. Oh,

that's right. Have fun. Hey,

what's that racket?I like it.

Sorry, thing, old limb. Day is not for

playing. Day is for relaxing and... Huh

Well, then again, it's a big house and I

can rest somewhere else.

I hope this works. Hanging helplessly

while the lack of gravity makes my

stomach churn.

I feel more relaxed already.

Aha. HmmSo you're ready to roughhouse,

are you?Then catch me, you must.

Uh-ha. Face it, Thing. I've got

a hand up on you.

First a quick victory, then I'll retire

to my Iron Maiden for a celebratorypress.

In here, Thing.

You forget jumping someone from behind

and restraining them has been an Adam

specialty for centuries. Enjoy the

ride, Thing.

By the time he gets back, I'll be well

rested.

Oh, well, Thing, if it's a

fight you want, en guard. Uh-oh.

Wait. I spoke French. Nah.

Thrust. Give it up.

I can tell you're on your last finger.

Give up. Well, then,

I'll.

Gomez, darling. Thing.

Oh, dear. If Gomez sleeps like that,

he'll wake up all stiff and twisted.

Won't he be relaxed?Thank you,

Thing.