02x05 - Double O Honeymoon

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky,

mysterious as spooky. They're all

together pooky, The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum where people come

to see 'em. They really are astreum,

The Addams Family.

Sweet

petite. So get a witch's shawl on,

a bruised if you could crawl on. We're

gonna pay a ball on The Addams

Family.

They're creepy and they're creepy,

mysterious and spooky. They're all

together spooky. The Addams

Family.

So, you are the world

famous super spy. I've been waiting

on this moment, Agent... Pardonton?

His name's It. Agent 00

It. Ah, yes.

Welcome. I'm Ian Thundermane,

the man with the mechanical hair.

Join me, my friend. There's not a

government, army, or barbershop that can

withstand our combined strength.



plans, evil schemes, not

to mention those boltsuse to hold your

hair on.

I'm disappointed, Double h* It. But

it appears that you've made your choice.

Guards, seize them.

Oh, It. The way you move those

follicles. It, watch out!

Allow me to

frost your hair. Double O it.

Shower. I know it, but all villains

think that they're funny.

Excellent idea, Id. Good luck!

I won't give up till the smell of

scorched air fills the room.

What is that?No!

Double-It, are you all right?Oh,

I should have known. How do you do

it?

From now on, I'm using a tangle removing

cream rinse every day too. But how are we

going to get out of here?

Amazing. You are truly the perfect

hairdo that every woman dreams of.

You haven't seen the last of me, Agent

Double O it.

You men get to ride all the way to jail

with its shedding blowing in your face.

It's another masterpiece, Tish. It old

cost. These videos of your spy adventures

are the greatest. Wow, that's evil.

And the children learn so much from your

problem-solving skills. You can say that

again, Mom. He's enriched our very Adam's

existence. Right! Darling, I hope our

upcoming honeymoon will be as exciting as

one of Cos' It's adventures. So do I,

Tish. I mean, I still enjoy a good coup.

Or hanging tent on a tidal wave. But it's

just not as exciting as being attacked by

a guy with metal hair. Ohh How I

envy you, It. Ah

Trotting across the globe and facing

danger while your very life hangs in the

balance. The satisfaction of

having your hair clog some of the world's

most famous drains. Ah, yes, you're

the family record. That's right. You did

set a family record for the most exotic

diseases caught in one month. And you're

the first Adam since Uncle Elm to catch

root rot. Whatever happened to our old

uncle anyway?I believe you're leaning on

him, dear. I am?I thought that

knothole looked familiar. Chin up, punk.

Where are you off to next, Cousin Ed?

A vacation?Why?You've got the perfect

job. Glamorous parties, dangerous

missions. Not to mention that band of

roving lumberjacks that moved into your

fur last month. Timber!

How dare they call themselves lumberjacks?

They couldn't even cut along the dotted

line. What line, Uncle

Fester?This one. Oh,

there it is. Hey, Lurchy.

You backfired.

It's time to don the plaid, Lurch-o.

I'm feeling a bit on the stumpy side

today. Ohh

See you at the sawmill tonight.

Whee! Dear, dear

Fester, he's doing his best to

follow in Uncle Elm's proud footsteps.

So that's why you're exhausted. You've

been on seven non-stop spy missions.

So, what's the problem?Darling, Cousin It

needs a vacation, a chance to stop and

smell the cesspool.

Well, I guess you would start to miss

your own dungeon after a while.

Of course you can spend your vacation

here, Cousin It.

Hello,

Cousin

It.

Oh, darling, Cousin It's upset because

Thunder Mane's escaped from jail. He'll

have to cancel his vacation and leave

immediately, and he looks so

disappointed. I'd better speak to him

before his bangs start to droop.

Cheer up, old bean. Maybe you can find

someone else to jet off and

end. Dereka. That's it. It must be

good news if you interrupted Guido while

he's squeezing the life from you. In his

dish, Cousin It can stay home and relax

while we capture Thunder Mane on our

honeymoon. Where?Where

Yes. Thanks, It.

Morticia and I have always wanted to save

the world. Come along, It.

Geronimo. What do you

think, Lurch?Mrs. Adams and I are

becoming super spies.

Darling, he looks so relieved. I can tell

he feels safer already. Lurch, would you

be a deer and get our luggage?Yes,

Mrs. Adams.

Wednesday, Pugsley, your mother and I

have some exciting news. Cool! What is

it, Father?Pugsley and I were upstairs

bound to work on the plumbing. Yeah, and

guess who gets to be the plunger?Oh,

Gomez, how could you do it?Do what?

Call Lurch away before he could shellack

me and add that drawer to the back of my

head. Well, Tish and I are filling in for

Cousin Itt while he stays home and enjoys

a little R&R.

Oh, go, Miss. What am I supposed to do

for excitement and visceral thrills while

you're gone?Well, you could always root

around in Itt's fur and find a few ticks

to play with. That's true. Those leeches

in my armpits have been looking a little

bit lonely. Your

luggage.

We must have forgotten to unpack after

our last honeymoon, Tish.

Oh, isn't that sweet?Aunt Stiffy found a

new resting place. I should have known.

She never could pass up an empty pine

box. Will you keep an eye on the little

pillagers while we're gone, Lurch?Yes,

Mr. Adams. And

you two be sure to listen to Lurch while

we're gone. Sure thing, Dad. Have fun.

Bon voyage, Mom and Papa. Now,

we started to your stay. So we're off to

Spain, ehOn our first espionage

mission. Tish, that's spy talk.

Speak some more.

Darling, spy now.

Interrogate later.

Oh, okay. Let's get going, Tish.

Ah, Spain. Espana. Mi

pais. One of my favorite countries in the

world.

Here you go, senor. And keep the

porcupine. He seems to have taken a

liking to you.

Pardon me, amigos. Have you heard of a

man named Thunderbane?

I haven't seen this kind of reaction

since Anne Spurt ate too much of Lurch's

guacamole. Boy, could she clear out a

room or what?Good evening, senor. You

know, you have a lovely wife.

Your skin is so cold and

clammy. Why, thank you.

Excuse me.

I'm pleased to meet you both, Mr. and

Mrs. Adams. Do you know who we are?

See, Senora, we have been waiting for

your cousin, Agent Double O Eat. You

see, I am Shampoo, and these are my

partners, Trim and Hairdoo.

We hope to make your stay a most

unpleasant one.

How's it going over there, my little bowl

aborscht?Good.

I hope Fester doesn't start to cough up

any more of those hairballs and lob them

over here. Ohh I found that hangnail

jump rope he lost here last week. I'll

tell you, that Fester just keeps getting

weirder and weirder. Cotton swab.

Must be NJ with his hourly scouting

report. Good evening, Mr. and

Mrs. Norman Myers. I believe we can

be of assistance to each other.

It is such a shame we cannot redesign the

hair of Agent 00 it, but his

loss will be your gain.

Thank you.

Darling, we've only been in Spain 20

minutes and our lives are being

threatened. I told you, it made a mistake

by staying home. Who wants

to go first?Hey, watch it, trim.

Hey, the big guy seems a bit on the shy

side, Tish. The poor dear. I

know just how to bring him out of his

shell.

Perfect. Aha. Excuse me, Senorita,

but I smell a trimming frenzy on the

horizon. Territa,

you're sheared.

Thank you, Canido. In my hair. Who

wants it?What are you doing?Will you

cut it out?Tish. It's a masterpiece.

Just like the time you carved Fester's

head into the shape of a vulture. How

dare you?Look what you

did. Don't thank us, old man. Thank them.

She's the one with the scissors. Let's

talk this over. We're going to talk her

over, all right?I'm going to talk you to

the Lisbon. Until the

next time, dear lady.

Are these spy types thoughtful?They

took time out from their mauling just to

tell me goodbye. What?Beat it.

Darling,

are you all right?Yeah, of

course, Tish. I'm just disappointed that

we didn't find Thunder Mane. There,

there, dear. We'll just keep looking

until we do.

Well, I don't know about you, Tish, but I

think Snappy looks good in a bouffant.

Vladia, would you be so kind as to bind

the nice gentleman?

I just don't understand it, Tish. Hidden

booby traps, life-threatening battles,

and we didn't even get a scratch.

There, there, dear. At least Snappy

has gotten to see the world. I know,

but this was our honeymoon, and I wanted

to.

Come on, Tish. This particular spy

mission is over.

That's it, dear Frere. Steady your aim

a little to the left. There.

El perfecto. Coming at you, sis.

Bullseye. Wow.

Our old carburetor

must have gotten tangled up that time you

walked through the garage. And there's

our old car. Dad's been looking for that.

Mr. and Mrs. Norman

Meyer.

Hello, Mr. Norman Meyer.

What brings you here?Look

out, son. MJ. Norman Meyer, it's that

dust mop thing that he's Isn't that the

car we lost?What's it doing here?Oh,

cousin, it's shaking a few things loose

from his hair. Komodo Dragon at



here?Well, my

little sugarcone and I met an old friend

of your fuzzy cousin. Oh, where's your

room?Who's that, Mister Norman Meyer?

Good evening, Double h* it. We meet

again at last.

Darling, you don't think that driver was

upset because Snappy wanted to steer, do

you?Upset. Why he slammed on the brakes

and threw us out of his cab.

We'll have to call his boss in the

morning and thank him. The perfect end to

another honeymoon. Gomez, you almost

sat on that bear trap. I did. How many

times have I told Punsey to make sure and

put his toys away?Oh, to be honest,

Tish, our honeymoon wasn't all I'd hoped

it would be. Why not, darling?Well, we

didn't catch Thunder Main and say, Tish,

someone has blasted apart our front door.

Perhaps it's dear Uncle Fester's

handiwork. Could be. He was probably

trying to excavate that new navel of

his. Lerch Fester. Welcome

home, Mr. and Mrs. Adams. I've

been enjoying the company of your fine

families.

You stuck our family to the wall with

gooey, wet, unwoving hairballs?Yes, I

did. Good show,

Captain. They really look like they're

enjoying themselves. Could you lob

another one at Uncle Fester?Yeah, and

shake a dash of Tabasco on them. I like

my hairballs to have a little snap to

them. It's past his feeding time. Uh,



little too late.

You're going to use the laser beam in

your hair to fry it to a crisp. I'm

delighted to say yes. Hey, you

can't do that to my cousin. And you're

going to stop me. I guess I'm just being

selfish. I want you to singe me first.

Pretty please, pleasePor favor.

Very well.

Oh, man. Oh, I should have gotten into

the spy biz a long time ago. Are you

two all right?If only we

were, Mother. These hairballs make it

pretty tough to play with each other.

Shouldn't we help the children, darling?

You're right, Tish. Maybe they should use

these hammers instead.

He's history. Join me in celebrating the

final capture of Agent 00

It. Gotta tell you, I'm sorry, Adams. I

didn't mean for this to happen. You

didn't?No. I wanted your family to get

fresh, not mine. Norman Doolson.

This white hair is causing my polyester

to pucker. Steady, Mom. Just be grateful

that Dad wasn't wearing his leisure suit.

Mrs. Adams, how would you like to conquer

the world with me?With you?Hey,

that's my wife you're talking about.

That's right. Then there's nothing you

can do about it. With your beauty and my

hair, we can rule the world as no others

before us have done. Join me.

That's enough. She's my wife.

Mind, however, understand

that I want you to leave her alone.

Gomez, those are savage animal

noises. Make some more

snarl.

Anything, darling, please.

I'm your selfish. I'm just getting warmed

up. I regret to inform you that you're

finished, Adams.

Not yet, Thundermane. Bing, my

sword.

Gomez is triumph. Oh,

Gomez. Well, they say

that music soothes the savage metallic

tentacle.

Can you believe this Hogwash?

That's enough. You've had your fun,

Adams. Prepare to meet your doom.

Give it up, Thunder main old hairpiece.

Few more minutes and I'll start drinking

the sweat.

Oh, Gomez, my

hair. It's reaching critical mess.

Ohh Way to go,

Dad.

My hero.

Oh, what's he doing?Don't

you?I I'm not sure, Lintpecker.

Well, Adams, maybe I was. I mean, I

want to. That is you. Thanks,

Norman Meyer. You've made this an evening

to remember. Why, you're you're welcome,

Adams. Darling, there may still be a few

spies lurking outside.

Maybe Snappy should escort the Norman

Myers home. Yes. And before he

does, he can drag them out to that new

swamp we dredged up in the backyard. No,

stop. Relax,

guys. I'll try to steer him away from the

piranha pool. Darling, you were acting

like some kind of jealous wild animal.

I love it.

Thanks, Tish. I I don't know what came

over me. Remember, dear, I don't always

like it when other women look at you, but

I just remind myself where your true love

lies. Now and forever.

Oh, Gomez, you're the only man for me.

Mother, Father, might I strike the gong

and start a family dance?Yeah, let's

break it down. Excellent idea, my

little cremators. I got it.

How about Oopsie Adam's diaper fling?

But Fester, you haven't built a picnic

table in years. Oh, yeah!

Got to me. I'd be honored if you'd join

me for the hot patootie cha-cha-cha. Oh,

ohh Gomez darling, our favorite

dance. Lurch! The music!

Do your thing, brother!

Get it! Mach de musique

fundama snach!

Oh.