02x07 - Camp Addams/Little Doll Lost/King of the Polycotton Blues

[bunniefuu]

They're creepy and they're kooky,

mysterious as kooky. They're all

together kooky, The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum where people come

to see 'em. They really are a stream,

The Addams Family.

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Petite. So get a witch's shawl on

A broomstick you can crawl on We're gonna

pay a ball on The Addams Family

They're creepy and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky They're all

together spooky The Addams

Family

Cap time! You ready to roll,

sis?Soon, elder sibling.

First, we must inventory our gear. Duffel

bag?Check.

Portable radios?

Check. Yes. Man,

that morning breath is enough to curl my

boxer's lurch.

Yeah, whatever. Hey, morning, Adams.

You look like something the cat drug in.

Why, Norman Meyer, how did you know we

spent the night in the lion pit?Oh,

he was probably awakened by all the

snarls, hisses and growls, darling.

Sorry, old boy, but Mrs. Adams brings out

the beast in me. That's.

Mother, Father, we're fully prepared to

leave for camp with Mr. Norman Meyer.

Yeah, MJ's already there, and I'll bet

he's having fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, he is. Oh,

yeah. And I want you tykes to enjoy

yourselves, too. Do you plan to throw us

into the tar pits like you did last

summer?Who, me?Why, of course

not. Too bad. Yeah, those

archeology guys were really

surprised when they found us. Enjoy

yourself at camp, dears. I'm sure

Lurch will miss headbutting you to sleep

every night.

Aw, cheer up, big guy. Hey, maybe Uncle

Fester will let you rotate his limbs a

couple of times a day while we're away. I

hope so. Well, how come you're...

Camp is awaiting. Remember,

darlings?Eat well, have fun.

And Pugsley, dear, will you tr*mp down

the dirt on your sister at night so she

doesn't get cold?You can count on it,

Mom. Bye, Mom. Bye,

Dad. Take care, dear overseers.

Bye. Bye.

Well, g*ng, here we

are.

Did you enjoy the ride?Mr. Norman

Meyer, we just traveled 100 miles,

crammed into your vehicle with thousands

of pairs of underwear. I can't

think of a better way to spend the

morning. Yeah, we took turns chewing on

the elastic. No. Not my

vintage 88. Why, you little. Parton en

moi, Mr. Norman Meyer. Isn't Camp Holly

where we're supposed to rendezvous with

friend NJ?Camp Holly is for

normal kids, like my NJ. I'm

leaving you little terrors here at Camp

Holler. But but this place looks like

some kind of prison or boot camp. Bingo

boy. And I'm ditching you here. What do

you think about that?Cool,

Norman Meyer. What took you so long to

get here?Well, DI Holler, I I was just.

I don't want to hear your excuses. I said

be here at 8:30, not 831. Yeah, I

don't. But my my watch was. Do I make

myself clear?Yes, Sir. I mean, ma'am,

Sir. Are those the same two spoiled rich

kids you told me about?That's them, DI

Holler. My van. What are you doing to

my van?Well, we thought it might be neat

to see it roll over that Cliff back

there. Mornings are always more

fulfilling when accented by a fiery

plunge. All right, now, off to your

barracks. Hop, 2-3-4. Hop, 2-3-4.

This is cool, huh, sis?It is

reminiscent of many enjoyable times spent

on our family marches through the mine

fields. That means you too.

Come back here.

Did I make myself clear, ladies and

gentlemen?You're not here to picnic.

You're not here to party. I'm going to

make real men and women out of you

limo-riding caviar eaters. That's

right, you're here to have fun with

me! Now, why don't you two marshmallows

say hi to your new friends?

Kids these days are so soft. It's

pathetic. What's that?

Him?He's Sting, our pet.

Tell your pet to keep his fingers to

himself. I'm Chaz, the young man with a

bigger net worth than anyone here in Camp

Hollow. No, my parents are richer.

And who are you?We are Wednesday

and Pugsley Adams, and we're enjoying a

week-long vacation here.

Yeah, this place is great.

Please look at this place. The dust, the

grime, the inhuman conditions.

I believe Mr. Norman Meyer made a wise

choice, most tormented brother. You said

it, sis.

You call that bed made-up?Tuck in those

corners. Fluff that pillow. Smooth out

that blanket.

What do you think you're doing?Making

our beds, DI Holler. Yeah, and things

given us a hand.

How sweet. Thanks. Now get out there and

start exercising. Get your little behinds

in gear. Hop two,

hop two, hop two, hop two, hop two, hop

two. Hold it! And just what do you think

you're doing in my beloved camp?Our

morning exercises, ma'am. You call that

exercising?And what are your parents

going to say when they hear how you two

monsters are carrying on?Oh, they'll just

be sorry they missed all the fun.

Move it, Chaz. The wall. Hit the wall.

You're slow, boy. If you take any longer,

I'm going to doze off. I

want 10 gallons of smoke before sundown.

Finally. Gosh, she's tough. That was

pathetic, Chaz. Get back in line

and do it again. All

right, you three. You're either going

over that wall or you're going through

it. You got it, D.I.

Hauler!

Conquer the wall we shall. Oh, boy!

Stars, he blows!

Cool!

'Tis a fine obstacle course you

constructed, D.I. Hauler. Thanks!

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Stroke. Stroke. We're

seeing Presley Adams. You two shove off

now. Aye, aye, ma'am. Stroke. Stroke.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Whoa. I wonder what got into her. Next

time, ask permission before consuming the

bow of someone's boat. Friend Snappy.

Hop



sit-ups. More jumping jacks. Hop



Oh, yeah. Adams,

what do you think you're doing?Eating

lunch?Want some?

Any of you kids want a bite?

Oh, come on, you guys can have the

exoskeleton.

There's nothing like a warm summer night

in the great outdoors. Oh,

right. Bugs, dirt and wild animals.

They're not that wild.

Adams, get rid of that Gator. Now.

Oh, all right.

I believe you hurt his feelings, DI

Holler. That's it. I've had enough of you



the kids. You're just macabre and weird.

Why, thank you, DI Holler. Hey, and

you're OK in our book.

Well, not in ours. This place is dirty

and grimy, and we're tired of being

yelled at, and we want to go home. Yeah.

You're not going anywhere. I'm the boss

around here. Do I make myself clear?

Some boss. It doesn't matter how hard we

try. It's never good enough for you.

We're out of here. Campers, cease and

desist. DI Holler

is trying her best to help us. Right,

Pugsley?Right, Sis. And you should thank

her for all her help. Thank her for what?

Forcing us to make our own bed every

morning?Making us cook our own dinner?

Exactly. She's teaching you how to take

care of yourself, just like you're doing

now. What are you talking about?Hey, I

guess I am. We all are. Yeah.

There is much joy to be obtained by

cleaning, exercising, and running your

brother up a flagpole. I'll say.

So DI Holler's whipped another bunch of

marshmallows into shape. True,

DI Holler. But you would be much easier

to hear if you didn't yell so much. Yell.

Who?Me. Well, we. I mean, I

All right, I'll try. All right,

we'll try. No.

Give me foot pugs. OK,

sis. Wednesday, Pugsley.

Thank you. You've turned the camper out.

Don't thank us. It's all because of that

caring Mr. Norman Meyer. Yeah,

let's go say thanks to that underwear

king. Stand back,

you, you roughhousing malcontents.

Please, Mr. Norman Meyer, Snappy really

wants to play. No. No

Yay!

Let us partake in the festivities,

brother. I'm ready to be partaking, sis.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Step right

up and enjoy Wednesday and Marie Adams'

first annual carnival.

That journey into Uncle Fester's old

trench coat is quite a ride, scuzzling.

We discovered 3 new strains of unknown

fungus. Eureka. Come to bar, Mother. And

that's only the start of the frivolity.

Observe. Mayhaps Thing would like to

demonstrate our dunking booth. I like

it.

Thing always has enjoyed being stripped

to the bone. How true, Mother.

But he's not the only one. Uncle Fester

has spent a lot of time playing in the

tail on the weasel.

Are you all right, Uncle Fester?Of

course. That Morton really knows how to

gnaw a giblet. Do you have any more

tickets left?Wee, wee, my uncle.

Sold. Good one, Fester.

Sharpen those bicuspids, Morton. I'm

coming home. Oh, goody. Oh,

yeah. That's it. Work that

tender spot. Is there anything more

touching than a boy and his weasel?

Forebears, you've yet to see Marie's

favorite exhibit. I like your

style. She does so enjoy ringing

the bell. And it's so much fun

reassembling her whole riddled body.

You pumped. Lurch,

would you care to do the honors and

impale Marie?

Thank you, Lurch.

You almost knocked the house off its

foundation, Lurch. Take another crack and

finish the job. Marie.

Marie. Where did she?

Oh, no! Not in the

fireplace! I'm afraid she's gone,

dear. No.

Lerch, how could you?I'm

sorry. I know you're upset,

Wednesday. We'll get you another doll.

Perhaps, Father, but there will never be

another Marie.

Hello, Thing.

Alas, friend Thing, I have no interest in

juggling today.

Oops. Lurch, I now realize it was

an accident. Did you come to apologize

again?Uh uh

Did you come to mourn the passing of

sweet, sweet Marie with me?No.

I'll take her place. You?

But Marie was my favorite playmate and...

Please?Well,

I guess we could give it a try. Thank

you, Wednesday.

All clear, darling.

Darn. Darling, are you all right?

Unfortunately, yes, but maybe I won't

miss next time. Aren't Wednesday and

Lurch cute?They do seem to be enjoying

themselves.

Umm Are you pleasantly uncomfortable,

little Lurch?

Perhaps you're experiencing a touch of

gas.

All better?

Help! Wonderful.

And now modeling our latest fashions,

the lovely Lurch Adams.

Here he is as the handsome young

undertaker.

Now observe the brooding convict as he

runs for his very life

and the ever vigilant highway worker as

he clears debris from our hallowed

streets.

Don't you just love road work, Lurch?

Uh, Marie and I spent many lazy

afternoons on Adams Creek. And friend

Lurch, in her proud tradition, you can

experience the sights and sounds of Adams

Falls solo. Bon voyage,

Lurch.

Well, Guerida, how do I look?Fine,

dear, but could you tilt your head back

so I can fully capture your glorious

septum?Yes, you've spoken out of me.

Speak some more. Tibia, fibia, uvula,

coccyx. Calm down,

darling. Paint now. Body parts

later.

Feeling any better, sneakling?I suppose,

Father, but try as he might.

Lurch is no Marie.

Lurch, I appreciate your concern,

but I think I'd prefer playing alone.

I understand.

Ohh What is it, Lurch?

Marie. Yes. Monsoon. You

exist! And there's

still time for our tea party.

Why don't you set an extra place at your

tea party, darling?I believe Lurch would

like that. Humblest apologies, friend

Lurch. You were falsely accused.

Would you care to join our party?Marie

likes 3 lumps with her tea.

Just the way she likes it.

My little pillow fluffer. My butter

substitute. Wow.

Grout scrubber. Mime hugger.

Wow.

It's an Adam's art. Those

Adam's sickos. Full

night vision. I res on 6. Roger that, my

little fish stick.

That does it. I

don't believe it. That fester's out in

the driveway getting his forearms paved

again. Dad, what's

all the noise?Norman Junior.

That was an Adams alert, son. Why weren't

you at your station?I was asleep, Dad.

Oh, no. Mm-mm-mm.

Can't you two leave the Adams alone just

once?No. Once?

It'll never happen, son. Nope. And I'll

tell you why.

Just look out that window.

Relatives on the lawn,

only some of them breathing.

Ooh, I wish they were gone. I hate those

animals. But the heart and soul,

they really get me down. I'll

tell you what I'd like to do. I'll tell

you, if I had my way with those weirdos,

they'd be run right out of town.

Oh, talk the blues, sweet pea.

But that tester's the worst one.

Sticky, smelly, and more.

He slept in our hoodie. Oh! He

chews holes in the roar. I

ain't so

bad. Mister tried to marry a clown.

my way with those weirdos

Would they be run right out of town?

They'd be run right out of

town Kick it, bubble

groomer!

I

could blow up their house They'd like

that, Daddy Send 'em to the moon

Sumo wrestle their granny. She kicked

your buttWhat's up for more to do?

Sing it with

your family. Oh, man,

they really get us down. Really, girls,

good. If we had our way with those

weirdos, what would we do?Why would they

be run right out of town?

Oh, Mercy, that feels good.

Luck it out there, cupcake. Is that a

monkey?I think it is a monkey.

He's got a leisure suit on. Oh, please! I

don't think-- that's a felony. That