Evil Bong-A-Thon! (2025)

[bunniefuu]

It's your eyes...

Hey, check this out.

With Al's rent, I finally

got enough to buy this.

"Large bong for sale.

Originally purchased in

the 1960s in New Orleans.

Recently deceased owner

claims it was possessed."

That's wicked. Whoa, dude.

A haunted bong?

It's guaranteed to give amazing highs, bro.

"Seller not responsible for

possible bad side effects."

We gotta have it.

We gotta have it.

Oh, don't be a sucker, it's a scam.

Just like that grilled cheese sandwich

with Jesus's face on it.

What are you talking about, bro?

That was online.

Okay, everything on

that internet is a scam.

You can't trust anything

because that's how the feds spy on us

- through our computer...

- I must say,

this ad does sound somewhat suspect.

This is "High Times," fellas.

Okay, everything in

here is on the up and up.

Totally.

Whatever. It's your dough, man.

Dude, have them express

mail it to the house ASAP.

'Cause if there's one

thing this pad is lacking,

it's a k*ller f*cking bong, man.

Whoa, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, oh

In the morning, in the night

When I don't feel so right

All through the misty haze

The green will brighten up my days

Cloud of smoke to clear my mind

Just a puff to help unwind

Everywhere I go, I take it

Oh, it's like I can't escape it

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Mean green, wicked weed

You've got a hold of me

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Light the fire, spark the tree

Yeah Make it a part of me

Oh

Think of all the life it brings

Just growing from those little seeds

Oh I need my smoke today

Work too hard, get home late

I just need a break

Oh, one more toke that I can take

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

What's that Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Mean green, wicked weed

You've got a hold of me

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Are you Larnell?

What do you want, bro?

Package for you.

That box is huge, what's in it?

What's in it? I don't look in the boxes.

That's against regulations.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, bro, easy.

I'm a professional.

I make over $200 a week.

You look in the box, you get fired.

Larnell, perhaps it's the item.

Item?

You've been waiting for.

Item I've been waiting for.

Yeah, that's it.

It's the item you've been waiting for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the

item I've been waiting for.

There's postage due for it.

Hey, it's been a bad month, bro.

Can you let this slide a

little under the rug type?

I'm a professional.

Al, Al, you spot me a little coin...

Fine. I'll take it off

next week's... Fine!

Okay, just, last time, bro, last time.

Just...

Thanks, bro.

It's...

Oh, baby, baby, baby, come to Daddy.

Hey, Al.

Istair.

Aw, man, you frontin' Lar again?

Thought you supposed to be smart.

Perhaps you're right, but

I'm only trying to help out.

Larnell's financial acumen

leaves something to be desired.

Yeah. He ain't too good with money neither.

You know, believe it or not,

he comes from money.

Really? Grandpa's loaded.

Some kind of big wig lawyer,

till he got creamed by a bus.

That's horrible.

Huh? Oh no, the old man's still alive.

You know, cr*pple in a wheelchair.

Anyway, you know, he's,

he had Larnell on allowance

till he dropped out of

law school, cut him off.

That's unfortunate.

Unfortunate? It's brutal.

Oh man, the parties we used

to have on that dough. Oh!

How about some red meat?

Feed that scrawny body

instead of that brain of yours.

B, that's what I'm talking about, bro.

Geez, it's huge.

Look at the beauty,

bro, look at the beauty.

Looks like a piece of crap.

Told you it was a scam.

Once again, I'm gonna have to align myself

with Brett's opinion.

Dude, it's junk. Send it back.

No, no, no, no, don't you see?

It's shaped like a beautiful woman, bro.

You got the t*ts and the vag.

You're f*cking nuts.

You two are a cloud of f*ck dust.

This is the best investment

ever made in my life, bro.

I say let's fire this thing up.

Monkey.

Oh Check this out, B.

This thing's hot.

Take a bong toke

Take a bong toke

And a toke and another toke

Smoke and choke.

Flame on. Take a bong toke

Take a toke and another toke

Take a bong toke

Take a Take a bong toke

I love rippin' outta bongs,

it gets me so, so high

When I take a big toke,

looks like my eyes start to cry

Tears start to swell up

when I take a huge hit

Of that bong biggie bong

diggity dank dank sh*t

Johnny Richter don't

quit after one two or three

And takes so many bong

hits you might run out of weed

Thought you was f*cking with a rookie

But I'm really a king

I was just out playing hooky,

having fun with the team

Well, now I'm back Take a bong toke

And a toke and another toke

Welcome to my world, worm.

Oh, snap. Hi there.

You could use some lotion.

That's okay, that's okay.

You chicks are a little aggressive.

That's all right.

I'm into it.

Oh, so is this like,

a three-way situation?

Oh, I'm into it. It's okay.

Oh, that's, that's kinda painful.

Monkey.

Is this the great beyond?

Have I crossed over?

Oh! A fair angel.

Oh, this must be my reward

for all the good deeds I do.

Or maybe not.

Oh, maybe it's not heaven.

Maybe it's that other place.

Well, Lord, if it is that other place,

let my punishment begin.

Dudes! You guys remember Luann?

Hey, what's up, losers?

This is her friend Janet.

Hi, guys.

That's Bachman over

there, totally out of it.

Did I tell you that

This here's Larnell.

When I was one

And that guy over there. Al!

Oh

Oh

Hi.

Washing his skivvies in the kitchen.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh.

Hey Janet. So you're a

friend of Luann's, huh?

We go to a couple classes together.

So how come I've never seen you before?

Dude, just give it up,

Larnell, she is so not into you.

What is she mute or something,

she can't talk for herself?

I know it's a radical concept.

Whatever.

Sorry, Larnell, I am not interested.

Oh!

Crash and burn, dude.

Not at all, B. On the contrary.

This is a breakthrough in communications

between the sexes, bro.

Straightforward, no BS, no games.

That's what I'm talking about, Janet.

We're all adults, right? Right?

Who wants a brewski?

Dude, get it. Mm-hmm.

What I'm talking about.

Hey, you don't mind, do you, Bachman?

I'm so high

Whatever.

I'm never coming down

Thank you. Never coming down

I'm so high

Never ever gonna touch the ground

Ground Hi there, Janet, Luann.

It's nice to meet you both.

Never coming down

You must be a

cheerleader at the school.

Oh yeah? And what makes you say that?

Well, your outfit would

be the largest indicator.

Dude, this old thing?

No, I just wear this

'cause it turns him on.

Rah rah rah, sis boom bah.

If it's weak, smoke more

Smoke more

What you think them zig-zag

Oh god.

Dude, you just sounded like a chick.

Oh, brother Bachman,

I see you too have crossed over.

I don't know about that sh*t, bro,

but I've been bangin'

these chicks since I got here.

They've milked me of

so much monkey powder,

I don't know how

I'm still standing.

What do you mean by milked you?

Like, for safe-keeping, you

know like when I'm sleeping.

See, the wang-looking tentacle

combines with the alien's spunky

to form like this super splooge.

That's why it's green.

That's not my

normal color, by the way.

And then they keep it in these jars.

It's like they're tr yin'

to populate the place

with a bunch of little baby

Bachmans runnin' around.

Cool, huh?

Brother, that fills me with a horror

that you cannot even imagine.

If by horror, you mean

f*ck' awesome, then I concur.

I don't know about this, girls.

Oh, just go with it, bro,

it's all part of their game.

It's cool, it's cool.

Geeky! Oh!

Does my bong look different?

It's so weird.

Bachman?

Bachman!

Oh my god! He's expired.

What do you mean?

I mean, he's passed on, deceased.

Croaked? You shittin' me?

Oh, what a buzzkill!

What are you telling me, B?

Larnell, Bachman is dead.

f*ck, bro! What are you tellin' me?

Bach, at like f*ck' 20-something

junked out and checked out?

Talk to me, man, gimme a monkey, bro,

gimme a f*cking monkey, bro. Chill, chill,

chill, chill, chill! Come on, bro!

Weill figure this out, man.

Weill figure this.

What are you doing?

Calling the authorities, of course!

Do you think we want the cops here, man?

Take a look around, come on, man,

we got weed coming out of our wazoo!

They will have to be notified, Brett.

Bachman, f*ck man, f*ck,

f*ck, f*ck, he's dead, bro!

He's on the f*cking couch.

We can't have the f*cking cops over here!

Just thinking.

I'm thinking.

We'll figure this out.

What is there 10 consider?

This was obviously some kind

of accident and now he's dead.

After blowing my drug test the last thing

I'd be involved with

is something like this,

accident or not.

We have to call the police.

So not cool, bro.

Dead f*cking dude on the couch!

I got it.

Larnell, don't Bachman's

parents live over in Midvale?

Yeah, bro, Midvale, cute

little house, white picket fence.

We used to play catch

when we were just little dudes

in the f*cking backyard, bro.

Yeah.

Here's the plan.

We wait till it's dark.

We drive him over there.

We drop him off at the curb, man.

No fuss, no muss.

You can't be serious! That's

what mobsters do after a hit.

They, they drop the body

off at a loved one's house

to serve as a warning.

Man, that's a good idea, oh yeah.

Drop him and blame it on the mob.

I knew that nine years was

gonna come in handy, Al.

That's not what I meant.

Lar, gimme a hand, man.

This is the best thing for him.

Besides, he won't want us

to get in any kinds of trouble.

Will you two just stop and

think for just one moment?

What the hell?

Somebody's at the door.

Go see who it is.

Not you, you idiot.

It's the cops, bro.

It appears to be an elderly

gentleman with a wheelchair.

Holy sh*t, bro, it's my grandpa.

What the hell's he doing here?

Just shut the f*ck up. Maybe he'll go away.

Larnell! I can hear you in there, you fool!

What do we do? Hide him.

Have you two gone completely insane?

Open up this door

instantly, you c*ck suckers.

Hold him off, Al!

Larnell is indisposed at the moment.

Well, get him disposed, g*dd*mn it!

He'll be with you shortly.

He's heavy.

Hey, Gramps. What a cool surprise.

Hey, Cy, it's great to see ya.

Ah, shut up, you pathetic louts!

Moronic pricks. Miscreants, all of ya.

So, what brings you down

here anyway, Grandpa?

Ah, I came to introduce

you to your new grandmother.

You mean you finally remarried, huh?

I did, indeed, my boy. Indeed I did!

So what's she like?

I mean, with your dough,

you could have got anyone.

Oh, she's a catch.

And I'm not the only one

who had my eye on her, either.

The lodge was abuzz.

All the boys wanted a crack at her.

So, so where is she at?

Yeah, she's parking

the car. She'll be right up.

Is she hot?

Oh, she's a looker.

That's for certain.

Oh, that's so cool!

You know, I was hoping you'd hook up

with some big-titted bimbo

that I could bang on the side.

You disgusting pervert!

Oh-h*, I only hope that one day

convicts will feast upon your scrotum sack.

You know, bro, I was just kidding around,

you don't gotta come

at me like that, Grandpa.

Is your mind perpetually in the gutter?

You useless vulgar d*uche bag.

This is your new grandmother

we're talking about,

not some two-bit loose floozy for you

to defile with your nasty little p*nis!

No good, worthless enema bag.

So Cy, where, where'd

you meet the little lady?

Well, I was inspecting my gyms

that I own down on the west side.

She was on the,

on the racket ball court.

Oh, she caught my eye immediately.

The way she slammed that ball.

Her body alive and aggressive,

vibrant and sensuous.

Boys, I want you to meet

Dame Rosemary Cornwallace.

It's like feva

My body takes flight when I see ya

Let me please ya

Wanna make you pay for more as I tease ya

It's like feva

My body takes flight Oh my God.

Let me please ya

Wanna make you pay for more as I tease ya

Want me to dance for you

I'll shake it off for you

You can't keep away

Once you've seen

More. More.

I need more.

And your head will never

I need more.

She'll disassemble

You

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Jimbo, man. That's my bong.

I thought...

The ad said that the owner was deceased.

No, that's my wife, man, she...

Wishful thinking on her part.

No, man.

Well, then perhaps you can

explain what's going on here?

It's the bong, man. It's evil.

Well, if it's dangerous,

then why'd you put it up for sale?

I didn't put it up for sale, man.

My wife, she sold it, man.

I had it in storage.

She sold all my sh*t, man.

Sold my Hot Wheels collection.

Man, I miss those little cars.

How do we stop it?

Stop what?

The bong?

I don't think it can be stopped, man.

The guy that sold it to me said that it had

some voodoo curse on it,

or something, you know?

I thought he was

just trying to make a sale.

But it k*lled all my friends, man.

And it almost got me.

Well, it got all my brain

cells, but that's okay

"cause I wasn't using them anyway.

Yes, but... Thank you.

The old and it's good for the young

'Cause it's good for Cheech

And it's good for Chong

m*therf*cker

Let's go get

That was the delivery service.

They, they had to match

up the receipt number to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cut to the chase, Al, do

you find the guy or not?

Yes, it turns out

he's on a delivery not too far from here.

I had to pretend we

had a package for pickup

just to get them to send him over.

Devious, man. I'm proud of you.

You know, I have to admit,

duplicity gave me,

somewhat of a charge.

Oh, I hate that vegetarian sh*t.

Man, I'm starving, you guys

got anything to eat in this dump?

Dang, when'd you get here?

Don't you remember?

Dude, this stuff's getting worse.

Me too, man. I have never been so starvin'.

Yo, Fatboy! What's up, man?

You are huge.

Yeah, I know. We've

talked about this already.

Ah! q*eer.

Ah, they can see your a*s from space.

Oh, that must be the delivery guy.

Let me see.

Are you sure?

Who else would it be?

Hey, bro, you never know.

The feds might be sending guys after me

'cause of that book I'm gonna write.

They don't want me to expose their secrets.

Oh, for the love of

Twinkies, open up the door!

I'll make sure.

You guys got a pickup?

Well, actually you see I didn't...

Hang on, Al.

Who sent you?

Who didn't send me.

Who didn't send you? What do you mean?

No, not what, who.

That's what I'm asking.

I know you're asking what, but

you wanna know who sent me.

If who sent you? Dude,

what are you talking about?

I'm not talking about what,

you're the one that keeps bringing it up.

When?

Yes. Yes, what?

No, yes, when, that's who sent me.

What?

No, when.

Would you two c*ck

shut the f*ck up?

It's like a comedian routine,

those old guys.

Yeah, Abbott and Costello.

Who? Who?

Nothing. Listen, Mr. Delivery Man, Mr...?

Call me Rabbit.

Okay, very well then, Mr. Rabbit.

No, just Rabbit.

Okay, look, some time ago

you delivered a package to us.

Although we were living

in a different apartment

near the university at that time.

If you say so. I.

Look, inside the package

was something very unique.

Dude, in the box was a bong, an evil bong.

I remember that bong.

You do? Yeah.

I had to wait for the lady to pack it up

before I delivered it to you guys.

She told me stories about it.

What stories?

I might remember a little better

if you were to share some

of that herbal essence.

Herbal, what?

He's talking about the ganja, bro.

Give me the light, bro. Oh.

Hit this.

Right.

Okay?

She was divorcing her husband.

Yeah, that would be Jimbo.

Yeah, that was his name.

She said he bought that

bong in South America

when he was in the Peace Corps in the '60s.

When he brought it back,

it k*lled half his friends

before he locked it away in the attic.

f*ck. She told me stories, man,

they're seared into my brain.

And you delivered it

to us without telling us

and warning us first?

I was just happy to get the

son of a b*tch off my truck.

All right, listen, mister, sorry, Rabbit.

I don't suppose you

recall the lady mentioning

where Jimbo got the bong?

I mean, where in South America?

I remember.

I remember.

Oh! These bugs are bigger than rats!

Hey, do yous dingleberries

know where we are?

Maybe we took a wrong turn at the river.

Dude, we took a wrong turn in Pomona.

This was the dumbest idea.

No, it wasn't.

Look, in order to cure your afflictions,

we need to research the bong's origins,

we need to find where

Jimbo bought the bong.

In order to do that, we need to find

where he was serving in

the Peace Corps in the '60s.

It's around here somewhere.

And you remembered right.

I remembered right.

Hey, what did we bring

the delivery dude for again?

Hey, I got a $200-a-week

job I have to get up

at 500 AM for.

What am I missing out on?

Plus a trip to the Amazon

on somebody else's dime

sounded like a good idea.

Yeah, on my dime.

On my credit card, to be exact.

By the way, thanks for that,

Al, I'm gonna get you back.

Thanks, buddy. Yeah, I'm sure you will.

Monkey!

You've seen plenty of monkeys

since we've been out here, B, so what?

No, dude, monkey like in bad sh*t.

Dude, there's more of them!

Oh, no!

No! No, wait, wait, wai...

It's a hut!

Let's bounce, guys.

With all these skulls,

cannibals are living here.

They love to snack on stupid white dudes.

Look, the chances of any

cannibals living in this region

is remote at best.

At least, I hope it's remote.

They'll tie us up and roast us alive.

Then they'll cut off the top of our skulls

and scoop our brains

out while we're still cookin'.

That's a delicacy they do.

Mm, great, I could go for some of that.

Dude, you're ill.

Look, I guarantee those

skulls are a warning

to scare cannibals away, not an indication

that any cannibals actually live here.

If you're so sure, why don't you go knock?

Yeah.

Any of you guys coming with me?

Hell, no.

I don't wanna get eaten, bro.

Yeah, just look at it this way, Al.

Some of those cannibals

might be getting smarter

by eating your brains.

You'd be doing them a favor.

Circle of life, bro.

Circle of life.

Better you than me.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Ah! Cannibal chick!

Who are you guys and what do you want?

We...

My name is Alistair,

and we're from California.

We seem to be a bit lost, Miss?

Velicity.

Velicity. Could you maybe?

Sorry about that.

We have to be careful around here.

Who's we?

My father and I.

Well, my dad passed away a few months ago.

His partner and I are

continuing his scientific research.

The skulls are meant

to scare away the locals.

I'm sorry, we didn't mean to intrude,

but we could certainly use some guidance.

Oh, oh, and eat. If you have anything.

I suppose it's all right if

you come in for a while.

My partner's out gathering samples,

he won't be back until later.

Bach!

Bach!

Is he okay?

It's a long story.

So that's pretty much the

ballpark I had in mind, Cyril.

You must be stoned on some of that weed.

I wouldn't pay a floor

manager in one of my factories

that kind of money and

I certainly wouldn't pay it

to a sh*t-licking loser like you.

Don't let him screw you, my man!

Take it or leave it, as*h*le.

But keep in mind, if you don't take I,

when I get back to civilization,

I may drop a dime on

your little ill*gal operation.

Oh, you're a pus-oozing cephalitic prick.

He's a rascal.

Hey now Rascal, I like that.

I suppose if I'm gonna dip

my toe into this line of work,

I'm gonna have to get used to working

with sewer scum like you.

You are a dapper man.

Ooh, you b*tches best step off!

Who the hell are you calling a b*tch?

She's not speaking to us, ret*rd.

Oh!

Amazing! It must be the Poontang tribe.

I'll say.

Oh, you don't understand.

There's never been any

proof that they ever existed.

No one's ever seen them

before. Not since the Stone Age.

Looks like she wants the bong.

No, you keep her away from me, you hear?

Those b*tches stole my man.

Don't let 'em take the weed,

whatever you do.

Not so fast, you tribal twat.

Hey, now that. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You, ladies, ladies, look.

No, you don't, okay. Okay.

You don't have to tell me twice.

Yup, back off, back off,

you skanky jungle hoes.

King bong

Oh, baby, how you been?

You're as beautiful as ever.

And you're as ugly as ever, m*therf*cker.

I hoped I'd seen the last of you

after the way you treated me.

Oh baby, don't be that way.

Gimme a kiss and let's make up.

You must be trippin'!

I ain't gonna be smoochin' on you

after you've been hanging

around with those skanks.

Skanks? You must mean skankalicious.

Look at them.

Oh, these are my ladies.

Don't you be talking bad about them.

Hmm! Not at all, lady.

I used to be your lady, m*therf*cker,

till you got the taste for jungle poon!

Now let's talk about this, baby.

Talk to the hand, Jarvis.

Ooh!

This is some crazy sh*t.

Oh, okay. Well, you

don't have to twist my arm.

Twist that arm down for him right there.

There, put that in your mouth.

Mm, look at you sucking

on it like it's your cousin's tit.

That's right, put it in there!

Feels good, ah-huh.

Now how does that taste, my brother?

Yeah, blow it out. Blow it!

Look at you rolling your

eyes in the back of your head

like that, like somebody

just f*cked you up your a*s.

I said it, f*cked you up your a*s.

Come on! Mm, that's good stuff, ain't it?

Up to your old tricks again, I see.

Well, if anybody here

would know anything about

old tricks, it would be you.

Baby, that's the way I roll.

Boom shacka lack a, b*tch.

We have to rescue Rabbit!

Yeah, no, are you kidding?

Dude, that sounds like a terrible idea,

it could be dangerous. Yeah.

I say we get the hell outta here.

I'm gonna miss my shift at Sloppy Burger.

Dude, you got fired last week, remember?

Oh, sh*t!

We've gotta get Rabbit out of there!

How are we supposed to

fight a whole jungle tribe?

A tribe of women.

Women with spears.

You, you think if it was

the other way around,

Rabbit would come looking for one of us?

That's not the point.

Look, without Rabbit's help, none of us

would have gotten here in the first place.

You b*tches coming to play right now.

Oh, now it's going to get fun!

Welcome to mi casa, mi brothers.

Go ahead, take your

pick of one of these ladies.

Oh, yowzers.

Hooker central, dude.

That's right, and the first one

is on the house.

Take a look at them. Mm-hmm, you like it.

Who you looking at?

Oh, Tokeka! Yes, that's the one.

You like her, don't you?

That's what I thought.

Go ahead and get yourself

some Tokeka b*tch. Go on!

Oh, walk up on it. Walk up on it!

Mm! Touch her.

Touch her! Not each

other, b*tches, touch her!

Come on, come on,

touch it, make it feel good.

That's a boob.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

That's all you can say, b*tch,

that's a boob?

sh*t!

Oh, that's right, giggle like

you're a Mormon in church.

Go on!

You're in temple now, my temple,

and things are gonna get very interesting.

Stupid a*s. Look at ya!

Hello. Hello!

Oh! Hello!

We going to take it right there, ah!

We going to take it right there.

Take it right there, Tokeka!

Watch over him, girl. That's right.

Oh, that's right, touch that booby boob.

Let him know how it feels.

Bring it on down for her.

Oh, look at him just giggling

'cause he don't know what to do with it.

Most white folks don't know

what to do with it.

Look at them eyes rolling

in the back of his head.

Girl, throw that on him. Throw it on him.

Throw it on him.

Oh, yeah!

Come on, Tokeka, stop this mess.

Surprise, little baby boys.

Look down.

Son of a.

What?

Dude, we're tied up.

Awesome!

What?

You d*ck, we blew it!

We're supposed to come up here

with a can of whoopass on

King Bong and now look at us.

We were thinking with

our wieners again, bro.

Never trust your wiener!

Damn it.

Hey, guys.

Hey, delivery dude.

Ow!

Hey, take it easy, babe,

I'm not really into the pain, kid.

Don't you get it, Uncle Fester?

They're gonna k*ll you, man!

That's what Al was trying to say, but I...

You're not gonna really k*ll me, are you?

I mean, no sh*t?

No sh*t, pink d*ck.

Come on, now.

Oh, but don't worry, it won't hurt.

Not much anyway, hmm.

That's good.

Trippy stuff.

Al, wake up.

I will strike you whi... Wait a minute.

Dude, it's me Larnell.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh! I must have been knocked unconscious.

And it seems they've taken Rabbit.

Where'd they take him?

Unknown, but we better

find out before it's too late.

Come on.

What are they gonna do to me?

Man, I can't take it. I don't wanna take.

What if they cut my throat?

What if they, what if

they cut my heart out?

Dude, you have got to calm down.

I can't take pain! I can't take pain!

No! What?

What?

What are they doing, huh? No!

What is this? No!

Come on now, ladies, roll it out.

Roll it out!

What are they? Oh my goodness.

That's butcher paper or something.

What is it, huh?

Butcher paper.

Butcher might not be the right

word to use right now though.

What the?

God, no, they're twisting him up.

Yeah, twist it.

No! Twist it good!

Roll it tight, you know I like,

I like a lot of spit on it.

Come on, dig that in.

Come on, y'all!

They turning him into a giant doobie!

Lord, Lord, Lord, please,

I need your help here.

If you get me out of this,

I swear I'll stop smoking

and drinking and whoring and.

Well, maybe not the whoring part.

Right now you need to ask

whether you are a doobie or a don't be.

Look! The bong!

Man, that bong's got bling.

Remember. We have to

destroy its symbol of power.

The medallion, bro.

Look at me, looking all good.

I'm about to smoke some

sh*t up in this m*therf*cker.

Mm-hmm! Exactly.

Help!

Okay, girls.

Ah! What happened to the delivery dude?

He's right there, on the floor.

Come on now, girls,

show 'em what you're working with.

Help, I'm a f*cking doobie.

He's tiny!

Al! Shh!

Help me!

Help me, I'm a f*cking doobie.

Okay, girls,

bring him over here.

Help me! Help me!

I'm gonna smoke

this little b*tch alive.

I like the way you roll, baby.

That's what I'm talking about right here.

Why you screaming, punk a*s? Huh?

Help me! Help!

Ain't nobody going to help you now.

Oh my god, he's gonna light me up.

I'm gonna light your a*s up.

Ah, nothing!

I'm gonna take you and

shove you in my mouth.

Half of what?

What you doing, Priscilla,

Queen of the Desert? Huh?

Help me, I'm a f*cking doobie.

Rabbit, are you all right?

I'm not Rabbit, I'm a doobie!

Help!

Eh, shut up.

Now!

Wait, what the hell is going on over here?

Wait a minute. What is that?

Boy, you better gimme my necklace back.

Don't you touch that necklace.

You know how much

money I spent on that sh*t?

You better not! Boy, I got, ow!

Boy, you got, boy, I'm

gonna whoop your mucky a*s,

you understand me?

Don't you hit me again!

Please, don't hit me!

Please, I'm gonna have to k*ll you!

Oh, no!

Somebody please,

he's gonna take all my power!

Oh, wow. That's the good sh*t.

Now I got the munchies.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yum. Yum, yum.

Damn, you girls know what I want

before I even say it.

Wowzers!

Getting kind of boring to be honest.

I mean, don't get me

wrong, this is great and all.

Every f*cked up thing I can

think of happens instantly,

boobs, m*rder, boobs, weed, boobs.

Hmm, well, you musty old stink hole,

you're mine, you're all mine.

It's gonna be a grand, grand opening.

I'll toke to that.

Hell, I'll toke to anything.

Him.

What's the meaning of the portal

What more could a guy ask for?

A little spontaneity, maybe.

What the f*ck did you just

say day old Gingerdead?

Huh? Nothing.

Hey, where's that dumb sh*t Rabbit?

Hm, all the weed and titty you can handle

and you're asking for

that egg-headed moron?

We're supposed to meet

up for a game of Yahtzee

with the girls.

Aw, now wouldn't you rather play Twister

with these hot pieces of a*s?

Every time we play

Rabbit always pops a b*ner.

Hm, you like that sh*t, huh?

Hell, no! Made me jealous.

Been a long time since

I was able to do that.

Whoa, TMI! You stay right there.

Don't you move a muscle.

I'll go look for that bald m*therf*cker.

He's the only friend I got in here.

Freak better be playing hide and seek.

I need something to cheer me up.

Oh yeah!

Rub some butter on it, girls. Glaze me.

Oh yeah!

Due to unforeseen circumstances,

my previous business was kind of a bust.

What circumstances?

A crazy b*tch tried to k*ll me.

Anyway, I want you to place these glorious

yet functional collectibles

around the alley

in the seating areas,

and make sure everyone

knows they can come up here

and they're for sale at the counter.

What's that for?

Sell drinks to the kids in 'em.

Tell the parents they're sippy cups.

Can do.

Most importantly is our price chart.

First we have the standard game of bowling.

That comes with shoes and a ball.

We call it the "Standard Game of Bowling."

And then there's option number two.

This is the up sell.

I call it "The Gutter Ball."

Okay, what's the gutter ball?

A-ha! The gutter ball!

It will be the backbone of our success.

Whenever a rube,

a customer comes in here

to ask for a number one, I will do what?

Try and squeeze a

number two out of him?

No! You up sell the b*stard!

Exact-a-mundo.

I'm gonna up sell him.

The gutter ball is the biggest bonanza

of the bowling experience.

You never actually said what it is.

A-ha!

I give you, "The Gutter Ball."

Boss, you're a genius.

I know!

They'll get so high that their munchies

will just... get our

profits through the roof.

Okay, is this even legal?

Huh? Oh, poo...

'Cause this doesn't feel legal.

Just don't get caught.

So is that all, chief?

I wanna get a few ba*ls

in my lane before we open.

There's one last thing.

A selling point of epic proportions.

Pizza, pins, pot pushing.

I'm pretty sure we got it covered.

That's the problem.

Do you remember the

dress code that you agreed to,

the conditions of your employment?

Do we have to?

Oh yes.

One, two, one, two

Oh mama, mama.

Yeah, yeah Oh, come to Rabbit.

Let Rabbit grab it.

It's a beautiful day

What?

We talked about this. Okay?

I really wanna be an actress,

and although taking your

top off can get you ahead,

it also devalues me.

Like you had any already.

It's the only reason you

were hired in the first place.

I was hired 'cause I can do

the books and I'm not high.

You girls go roll some

ba*ls while I polish my pins.

Just you.

God, that's so gross!

My coochie's gonna get it

Meetin' up like women

Mike Tyson's mouth face south

You know, my mom always said that bowling

Is the most wholesome

sport a lady could play.

Why?

'Cause you can play with big round ba*ls

without looking like a wh*re.

My mom is a wh*re.

Yeah, that's what my brother said.

I hate that guy.

Hey! Oh!

Oh!

You got one!

I've been a bad, bad girl

I've been a bad, bad girl

Yeah!!

Oh my god!

Bad, bad girl

Oh

Hi. Are you the manager?

I am the owner of this establishment.

Well, are you hiring?

I'm so sorry, miss, I don't

have any openings right now.

You are so frigging hired.

And oh, here's, and here's your uniform.

But don't you dare wear it.

Portal

What's the meaning of the portal

Portal

Thanks for all the blows, girls.

You've been great, but a

stallion needs to run free.

Mwah!

Whoa, where the hell do you think

your candy-coated a*s is going?

I know that chrome-domed

Rabbit just blew this taco stand.

Now it's my turn.

No, no you don't.

I told ya he's here.

He's just the reigning

hide and seek champion.

Haven't found him yet.

Olly olly oxen f*cking free!

You're the reigning champ

of talking out your a*s.

He's gone. Now I'm flying

this coop with or without you.

No, now what they got out

there that I don't have in here?

I wanna get laid for real.

Dip my bread stick in some marinara.

If he leaves his strength

will be at full power.

Then I can ensnare him

back into my bong world

and grow and take over the world!

I heard that, dumb-a*s.

So what? Let's go get that m*therf*cker!

Now you're talking.

You're sure this is the place?

That h*nky is definitely here.

I could smell his high karate.

Then what are we waiting for?

Let's go get the prick.

Whoa! Get a load of her.

Another day, another

Are you coming or what?

You go ahead and do some Rabbit recon.

I wanna warm up.

You gonna k*ll her?

Yeah, sure.

You have fun, freak.

I always wondered if it's true.

If I pork a real woman, I'll

turn into a real man again.

I intend to find out.

Can the screams, lady.

What are you?

For the first time in a long time,

I'm horny as hell.

You think I'm just some cheap floozy?

Hell, no. How much are you?

How can you have any money

if you don't have any pockets?

Don't you worry, sugar boobs. I got dough.

Wow, you just got real hot, cookie boy.

Yeah.

You like that?

Oh yeah, baby. My

dough is starting to rise.

Show me what you got, sexy.

Oh, wow.

Boo! Oh!

Surprised to see me, m*therf*cker?

A little bit. How did you find me?

I followed the slime trail.

Why do you always have to harsh my mellow?

I've got a good thing going here.

You stole my magic weed, m*therf*cker.

Lots of chums walking around

here playing with their ba*ls,

thank you very much.

They'll do nicely in my bong world.

I'll be stronger than ever because of you.

These people are happy

and because they're happy I'm happy.

And that's what people

want. True happiness.

Not that fake sh*t you sell.

Oh, shove that happy sh*t up your a*s.

Look at that couple over

there. They're happy, see?

Where? I don't see nothin', huh?

What?

What?

Oh, baby, I don't know if this'll work,

but I sure am digging it.

Oh Gingy, I've never

had it this good before.

Oh no!

Oh, not yet.

I'm gonna cream! Oh, here I go.

Oh! Sorry!

Nothing Head, that's it,

trademark and patent pending.

Now if you kids would just scoot

along.

Dude.

I got some high pressure

business to take care of.

Ms. Bennet.

Oh, right hand on green.

Oh.

Yeah. Oh. Oh!

Occupied.

Oh, Funnel Mister.

Yeah, really not a problem, pal.

Let's play again.

This is the best game ever.

This is all they ever do.

London Bridge is falling

down, falling down, falling down.

It's so degrading.

I know. They never let me play.

Save some for me. Rabbit?

Yeah, yeah.

Really gotta rap with you about something.

Can't it wait? Yeah.

Kinda in the middle

of some high-pressure

competition here.

Come on, Brosario

Dawson, we gotta talk. Now.

Yeah. Look, the girls

and I were talking and we all

decided that enough is enough.

We need to get outta here

and get back to our complicated,

screwed up, kinda normal lives.

And you are gonna pull up

those training socks, Rabbit,

help us out.

We've been over this a thousand times.

She's changed the whole bong world.

She who must not be named...

You mean E...

Oh.

If you say her name,

she'll show up and harsh

our marvelous mellow.

Come on, dude.

She's sealed up all the rabbit holes.

Sorry, I can't help ya.

Don't you wanna get out

there and do what you do?

Well, whatever you guys

wanna do, it's cool. Yeah.

Rabbit. Teach us the ways of Nothing Head.

I don't know.

Come on, dude.

We're all just wasting away in here.

And at least out there

in that cruel cruel world,

we have a chance to one day...

Nah, I got nothing.

Please? Show us your hole.

Prepare yourself for, the Poonishers!

What in the name of?

Oh my god.

You sure we can't hang around

for just a little while longer?

Careful prudes, they've been known

to chew right on through chastity belts.

It's so ew.

Total ew.

The Poonishers don't

care if your carpet is clean,

they're gonna munch it anyway.

Look at those taters.

You limp dicks better get your asses gone,

time is my money.

Weed us up, Scotty!

Do you think they're gonna save us?

We're screwed.

Whoa. Check out all this cool stuff.

There's a crowbar in my pants.

Yeah, more like a thimble.

Oh, dude look at all the little Eebees.

And check out you two kinky freaks.

Yeah, I look good.

How'd you change your clothes?

Anything is possible

once you master the world of Nothing Head.

Hmm, you b*tches gonna like this.

No, we won'.

We probably won't.

If you're looking for weed, grass, kush,

pooch, stems, chemicals, stink or skunk,

go to one of our lousy competitors.

But if you're looking

for the finest of the fine,

visit Eebe's Magical Weed Dispensary,

'cause we have the finest in town.

It's totally great sh*t.

Don't be drab and dreary,

visit Eebe's Magical Weed

Dispensary and get cheery.

It's the happiest sh*t.

Credit cards and trades

strictly unacceptable.

We give you big kush,

you give us big cash.

And if you're on the fence.

But then you're a total loser.

We have this.

Free shows daily.

Devil, do you approve?

I did it all for you. Well, mostly for you.

Do you like it

All right.

And a toke and another toke

Any minute now our knights

in shining cargo shorts

are gonna come and save the day.

They can take their time.

Whoo, I'm starting to enjoy this.

So you're taking the whole

empowerment route with this?

Oh, I suppose so.

Okay, then so am I.

Use your teeth.

Kinky.

On the ropes, you dope.

What is wrong with you? Hurry up.

Oh my god, oh my god.

Got it, turn around. Yeah, okay.

Do you think they raised the money yet?

I sure hope so.

They better not be

screwing around up there.

I have faith in them.

That makes one of us.

Ugh. Whoa, her boobs.

You just sit right there, leave it to me.

Girl, knock yourself out.

You won't hear a peep from my a*s.

Today's my big grand opening.

There's so many victims.

Customers, whatever.

Don't worry your t*ts,

you'll make a k*lling.

Bark like a dog.

Here we go

I said bark like a dog!

Bark like a dog!

You didn't know I hate Pomeranians.

Show us where the rabbit hole is.

Come on

Do you think the guys have the money?

I don't know if I even care anymore.

Oh.

Huh. Shh, play along,

Eebee's here.

Whoa, what the f*ck is going on here?

Oh, this is an awakening.

You b*tches is nasty, I can use you later.

Damn.

Oh, the sights we could show you.

Mm, I know you could,

but you skanks need to save it for later.

I'ma go get my money.

Show us the rabbit hole!

Show us the rabbit hole, cookie brains!

I hope I didn't just k*ll

my only two customers.

It's you!

In the flesh.

FYI.

There can be a lot more of

that, if you know what I mean.

I don't.

Flesh, a lot.

Yeah, I seriously doubt it, and...

God, please don'.

Just thought I'd put it out there.

Okay, well, put it back.

God, put it way back, perv!

Huh?

My face, hello, the thing that's talking.

Oh.

Eh.

I don't like to bog

myself down with details.

What do you want?

I just thought I'd drop

by and see how it's going.

Big day, first day and all.

Yeah, okay, you're the only person

to walk in here, if anyone asks.

Well, that's a good omen

for any entrepreneur.

Yeah, you know, actually I looked you up

at the Better Business Bureau?

Hm, not so much.

Details. Details.

Ah, hello, ladies, let me

know if you have any questions.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Rabbit wanna grab it.

I think I'll peruse your merchandise

Is there something you like?

Is there something you

wanna try that I have?

Maybe?

Sentences, ladies, they're the

backbone of communication.

Okay, you're showing me that, why?

We heard it gets you free weed.

t*ts for tokes.

I kind of have two of my own.

Ladies, if I may,

your actions were commendable,

and so are your hooties.

And I want you to know

that was all not for naught.

You have free weed?

Not exactly.

Then what, exactly?

Rabbit wanna grab it.

Screw you.

Grab yourself, dickhead.

Talk about mixed messages.

I don't know, seemed pretty clear to me.

Show us the rabbit hole.

Show us the rabbit hole

or you're gonna get it.

All they do is giggle and don't do!

Sarah. What?

Look.

Oh my god. What is that?

A rabbit hole.

A portal?

It's been here the whole time.

We can get out of Bong Land!

No, I don't wanna leave their sweet faces

here all alone...

We have to go.

Oh, we'll probably come right back through.

Very true, but we have to try, bye!

Okay, after you.

God, I can't stand all these idiots!

Everything's going

according to plan, honey.

No, it's just a bunch of

cheap morons and derelicts.

I'm so gonna whack all of 'em.

Ooh, baby, just slow your roll, sweet a*s.

You'll get your chance.

But it's not like it was last time.

I can't get them separate

enough to do the deed.

And worst of all.

You found a conscience

somewhere in those boobs?

God, no. It's all those stupid questions.

I can't take it.

Honey, that's customer service.

No, I'm so gonna sacrifice all of them.

Whoa! Save your energy

for when you need it.

And b*tch, you're gonna need it.

You're right.

I just need to stay calm. I can do this.

Now you're using your hair sprayed head!

Now go back out there and do your thing.

Thanks, Eebee.

My pleasure, b*tch.

Hey, ladies, I got some k*ller weed

in the back if you wanna try it.

Ooh! Yeah!

Come on, totally safe.

Come on, in this back room.

Ah-huh.

Can I try it?

No!

It's strong enough for

a bald-a*s orangutan,

but it's kinda made for

women, so, sorry, huh.

Oh, I needed that. I

wanted to do that so bad.

Can I...? Oh, shh, shh!

Oh, that was good.

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Where are the girls?

Oh, they are gone. They are so far gone.

Not that they were there to begin with.

c*ck!

Hey, put it in a jar. You got customers.

Sarah?

You know these people?

Yes. They're old friends of mine.

This is not Sarah apparently.

And this is Misty.

And this is Miss Lucy Fur.

I don't suppose you came

here to buy anything either.

The road to discovery led us here.

Say what?

We came here looking for some guy, I think.

This guy? Oh, you must be real hard up.

Mm, you could say that again.

But don't.

Are you Larnell?

Au contraire, I'm Rabbit.

Larnell is...

Larnell!

No way, the fun's just

getting started.

That's right, m*therf*ckers! Eebee!

She likes to say that a lot.

I told you not to say her name.

Can't tell if you f*ck buckets

are surprised to see me,

or if that's just your

normal, stupid faces.

Oh, great, the poopiest party-pooper.

Who do we have here?

The Ginger Little d*ck Man.

How the hell did you get here?

I whacked it deep into Sexy Hell

and jumped through a flaming p*ssy.

You?

This set of t*ts attached to

a pole dragged my a*s here.

Did, did you say Sexy Hell?

Yeah, Sexy Hell, and

that's where I'm going,

even if I have to

whack all of you to do it.

Oh, could you just whack me?

Rabbit!

Just kidding.

Our chosen course is

the only one to wellness.

Huh? We're not going anywhere

except for the hospital.

These girls are barely hanging on.

Let me help

you get it there faster.

Bon voyage,

t*ts, don't forget to write.

How could you?

Yeah, you're a scone's throw

away from getting it, girlie.

Don't help that b*tch,

you pudding-head f*ck.

Dead a*s's don't help me.

Who f*cking cares what you want?

I'm just happy to be k*lling again.

Makes me feel like a, a man again.

Ha! You really are a dumb-a*s.

Donut test me.

Boop, boop!

Yeah!

Hold tight!

You're coming with me!

Hey, hey,

I'm not going back to

that sh*thole!

Well, f*ck, I was just getting started.

Boop!

Sexy Hell is f*cking rad!

sh*t, your rap is evil, voodoo

Makin' all these girlies boo-hoo

And I might go crazy cuckoo

For smoking the weed like you do

b*tch, could you be

more of a sorority sl*t?

Shut up, you're spoiling it.

You don't tell me to shut

up, I tell you to shut up.

It's so sexy.

It's so sexy.

Ugh, it's the nuns.

We are more than happy to

leave you to your own devices.

I'm sure there's so many devices here.

Who dares harsh my bellow?

I expected a little more from that voice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what they all say.

f*ck you, too.

That is no way to talk to a lady.

Silence, man, come on.

Who are you?

I am Beelzebud,

high priest of Sexy Hell.

Lord of deadness.

Ambassador of f*cking

delicate sh*t like that.

Oh, yeah.

No, ew! Ew, so ew!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's some hot sh*t

right there, man.

I've seen hotter.

Man, what's with you?

I think all of them clothes

be harsh in' your hotness.

Sexy demon, why don't you help them

shed their dirt for the Beelzebuds.

No, no, no.

No, no.

So, this is where the magic happens.

Wouldn't that be the kitchen?

No, this is where they make

the food disappear.

A little restaurant humor.

Very little.

It's so elegant, it must

have cost you a fortune.

It did.

I inherited a small fortune

from a nephew who croaked.

He died? Aw, he must have loved you

so much.

Never met him.

You never met him?

No, I was too busy getting high

over multiple dimensions.

Ah, it's a long story.

I'd love to share it with

you over coffee one day.

That's okay.

Okay...

I'm not going back to the old Rabbit.

I'm not going back to the old Rabbit.

I'm not going back to the old Rabbit.

Then don't.

So...

Would you like to meet

the rest of the crew and?

Let's do it. This way.

Look, the portal, the portal!

Hey! Hey, what the f*ck now?

Oh!

Oh, my God, you suck!

I like the sound of that. Yeah.

I'm thinking a sacrifice is

on the menu for a change.

Oh, at least it's not the other thing.

After the orgy, of course.

This is Sexy Hell.

Oh, no.

Go get her.

No!

No, no.

Get off of me!

Ladies, dinner is served.

Aren't you gonna taste it?

Oh, we don't actually eat food.

Well. Yeah, no,

we just take photos of it.

What do you mean, you, you have to eat.

We just live off

supplements and brain water.

I'm not sure if that's working.

Gere, now...

Let's do the Rabbit

choo-choo train.

Oh my God.

Open up. Choo-choo-choo.

Mm, mm.

Whoa. Mm!

Really? Mm-hmm!

Lemme try.

Yeah, it's so good.

Boop, boop, boop! So silly.

Oh, mm, my gosh.

Stop it. There's no ways...

So much better than vitamins.

Mm! I know.

Oh my. Mm!

Oh my gosh.

I think they like it.

Is it getting hot in here? Yeah.

It's amazing. It is amazing!

All the way round. Ah-huh.

Yes, yes! Oh my god.

Oh my God, anyone else

getting a little bit horny?

Is it the mains? Oh yeah.

Maybe a lot of it.

Amazing. I already put my phone

on vibrate.

Oh yum! This beans are amazing.

High, my passion's so high

Oh, I want you

Oh, I want you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I so wanna k*ll you,

but I need Eebee to keep the portal open.

Wait till I get out of this.

You're all gonna get a kick in the nads.

Let's start the ceremony.

By ceremony I mean f*cked up

gross-a*s orgy.

Turn the lights out

And take off all your clothes

I wanna lick you

That's kinky.

Yeah, that son of a p*ssy is tight.

Onto the floor God, what now?

Using only the finest weed on Earth,

we will create life.

We need to get started.

The storm is coming.

Right you are, m*therf*cker.

Flour, brown sugar, yellow cake,

eggs, nuts, more nuts.

And now for the final

ingredient Gingerweed!

This sh*t doesn't look like much.

How the f*ck is that supposed to help us?

Ready?

Time to plug him in.

Let's bake!

Get that motherfuckin'

monster, m*therf*cker.

Holy sh*t, m*therf*cking Gingerweed Man.

Get the high! Whoo-hoo!

Get the high! Get the high!

Wow. Where'd they get her?

Hoes R Us?

Welcome to Lelapin. Here you go.

It took you long enough.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, you are actually.

Is this a joke?

No, I don't think so.

You know what, don't get smart with me,

you little b*tch, all right?

It's not my fault that you

make minimum wage.

You could at least crack a smile.

Oh.

You know, I come here a lot, all right,

and I spend a lot of money here.

Oh, we've only been

open for an hour.

Get your manager.

Oh.

Are you the manager?

Oh no.

Now stop f*ck' around

and go get your manager.

I'm not in trouble, am I?

I can't go back to prison. Bad vibes.

Geez.

What seems to be the problem here, miss?

You're the manager?

Actually, I'm the owner.

Another smart a*s, I see.

And what the hell's going on

with these wh*res over here?

Got their t*tties out.

They're French.

My kid doesn't need to

see that, okay? Look at 'em.

Your kid?

Don't talk about my family, okay?

What exactly is it that you want?

Don't interrupt me again.

I'm the customer and I

pay your salary, okay?

Not if you don't order.

I'm trying to make a point, all right?

Like the point on your head.

Then make It.

I'll just take a number one,

and, and make it quick, okay?

'Cause I have places to go, people to see,

and things to do.

Right away.

Why are you still standing there?

Shell-shocked.

Chop-chop, okay? My husband is a lawyer.

as*h*le.

What just happened?

- It's Sexy Hell.

- Hey, girl.

Honeybuns, I'm home

and this time, it's w*r.

Whoa, man, that's harsh.

Why don't you just grease

these two and be done with it?

You mean I finally get to wax Sarah?

Who?

Yeah, whatever, man.

They've been so unsexy

since they've been here.

It's been my life's work,

but would it be too easy?

What do you think, honestly?

Just do your thing, man.

I wanna get this gross-a*s orgy started

so then we can go f*ck her into the ground.

Oh, yeah. Lie down, you.

Nobody's k*lling us today.

Or orgying us, either.

We're getting outta here.

Oh!

Doesn't anybody knock anymore, man?

Who the f*ck are you?

Your worst nightmare.

I'm Gingerweed Man.

I've been sent by Mom and Dad to save you.

Mom and Dad?

Rabbit and Eebee? How

is that even possible?

Yeah, what the f*ck is this sh*t?

I believe in weeds, not words.

I'm sending you back where you came from,

you fricking hippie.

Come with Weed if you want to live.

Donut cross me, as*h*le, Luanne is mine.

You, sir, must be weedinated.

Mm, yeah.

I really hate you b*tches.

Likewise, demon crotch. Sic her!

Oh!

What the f*ck?

Oh!

Cripes, man, what was in that sh*t?

Me.

I feel like I'm rising like a souffle here.

To transverse the mission

you must become one with it.

What the f*ck are you talking about?

Oh, he's kind of lovable

when he's not so doughy.

Game face, Luann.

Is this real? Oh!

Why is that clown walking towards me?

What are you doing here? Whoa!

Oh, danger, oh, sh*t, ah,

this is crazy, this is very serious.

Sarah, stop!

I mean, Luann, Luann,

what the f*ck name you go by.

Oh, God, not this away.

Oh, not on my d*ck.

Oh!

Wow, I've never seen you like that.

You know me, some, sometimes I get so

I don't even recognize myself.

Cool, now that he's outta here

we can start that world domination game.

What about the orgy?

No time, babe.

No, you promised me a gross-a*s orgy.

Chill ax, man.

We're just gonna get on outta here.

I have a telepathic link back home.

Nice. Make it so.

Yes! Weed us out, Ma!

It's exactly what I was hoping they were.

Huh.

It could only mean one thing.

Huh.

Where is that little pervert?

Get to the point, jerks.

Let me out of these hula hoops.

You, Gingerdead Man, stand before us,

a prisoner of your own devices.

A mockery of pastry kind,

you know the charges put forth against you.

What charges?

You are hereby formally

charged with m*rder, mayhem,

callousness, wanton drug use, oh...

Is that all you've got?

And your worst offense,

you taste like poop.

Merde. You're not even semi-sweet.

You is a bad man, mon.

Yeah, oui, oui.

The bathroom's to the

left, you big ugly d*ck.

How do you plead?

Kiss my donut hole.

Whoa, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, oh

In the morning, in the night

When I don't feel so right

All through the misty haze

The green will brighten up my days

Cloud of smoke to clear my mind

Just a puff to help unwind

Everywhere I go, I take it

Oh, it's like I can't escape it

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Mean green, wicked weed

You've got a hold of me

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Light the fire, spark the tree

Yeah Make it a part of me

Oh

Think of all the life it brings

Just growing from those little seeds

Oh I need my smoke today

Work too hard, get home late

Oh I just need a break

Oh, one more toke that I can take

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

What's that

Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed