["Viva Las Vegas"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Bright light city
gonna set my soul ♪
♪ Set my soul on fire ♪
♪ Got a whole lot of money ♪
♪ That's ready to burn ♪
♪ So get those
stakes up higher ♪
♪ There's a thousand pretty
men living out there ♪
♪ They're all living
devil may care ♪
♪ And I'm just a devil
with love to spare ♪
♪ Viva Las Vegas ♪
♪ Viva Las Vegas ♪
♪ Viva Las Vegas ♪
♪ With the neon flashing ♪
♪ And your one-arm
bandits crashing ♪
♪ All those hopes
down the drain ♪
♪ Viva Las Vegas ♪
♪ Turn the day in nighttime ♪
♪ Night into daytime ♪
♪ See it once ♪
♪ You'll never be
the same again ♪
♪ Viva ♪
♪ ♪
- Gotta be quick.
How you guys doing?
- Good, how are you?
- I'm great.
- Good.
- Where can I take you?
- Honey, where do
you want to go?
- What do you recommend
for another bar?
- Another bar?
- A good one.
A good dance club.
- A good dance club?
- Yeah.
- Oh, I think you ought
to go to the Beach.
- OK.
- OK.
- Sounds good.
- So how was the Inferno?
- It's not happening.
- It was g*y.
- So you wanted more women?
- No.
- Yeah, she did.
- He's just kidding.
I like women.
- She does.
- I did since--
but not since I met you,
though.
- Huh.
- So do you like women in
a bisexual sort of way?
- Um...
I hate to label it.
I've been--I had a relationship
for a long time
with a woman.
But I met him, and I'm
totally crazy about him.
I just couldn't see
myself with a woman
for the rest of my life.
- Did it take some getting used
to--to be with a man
after you've been with a woman?
- You just do different things.
She's really butch.
I like butch women.
- OK, she was
a "take charge" woman?
- Yeah, but so am I.
- OK.
- But she liked to wear
her little strap-on.
- Cool.
- It's--it's a lot easier
emotionally to be with a man.
- Yeah, we messed up pretty
big last night myself.
Yeah.
- How?
- We were at a show,
and I walked out on her.
- There's an age difference
between us by 15 years.
- Guess how old she is.
- If I guess wrong,
I'll be in trouble.
- That's all right.
- Yeah.
- Exactly.
- I am.
- Yeah?
- Do I look 35?
Oh.
OK.
- So what were you guys
fighting about?
- His parents aren't
accepting of me.
- Yeah, what if you were a
parent and you had a kid that
was 20 seeing a 35-year-old?
How would you treat that?
- I would give them
encouragement.
How do they treat you?
- Yeah, see, they don't.
They don't.
I don't know.
My mom didn't really want--
- Me to call there.
- Yeah.
- I'm not allowed
to call there.
- That sounds like
a very controlling woman.
- Exactly.
- My mom?
- Yeah.
- She just raised five boys.
She gives a lot of heart,
gives us a lot of respect.
- She's not really
respecting me, though.
- Yeah.
- I wish they'd
give me a chance.
- So tell me,
where did you two meet?
- He worked at
the grocery store,
and I had been talking to him
for about, what, a year.
- Who asked who out first?
- I did.
The rest is history.
- The rest is history.
- Did she seduce you?
- Very much so.
Very much so.
She corrupted me.
- You know what we did in the
elevator of Caesars Palace
last night?
- Yeah.
- Were you alone,
or were there spectators?
- There was one spectator.
- He came in.
- Yeah, he popped up
spontaneously.
- So how did you do it?
Did you get undressed?
- No, I never wear underwear.
So I just put my legs up on
the bar of the elevator thing.
- I just unzipped my zipper.
- [laughs]
- And--and someone walked in?
- Yeah, actually,
the door was open.
And so she dropped down
to the floor,
and I had to zip up my pants,
almost catching
my ding-a-ling with my zipper.
- Were you still inside her
when somebody walked in?
- Yeah, of course.
The door--the ding--
the bell rang,
and all of a sudden,
we're just all, oh, sh*t.
- So tell me, man, what
was it like the first night
she seduced you?
- Oh, jeez.
Stayed up till 5:00 in
the morning on Mother's Day.
This is cool.
I like talking to the cab.
- I know.
- This is like my dream.
- [laughs]
- OK.
- I jumped on top of you.
- Yeah, definitely like that.
I like her on top.
- So you're a "take charge"
woman, huh?
- Definitely.
- Cool.
- But I take charge as well.
- You do.
- I make her take charge.
- You do.
- But--
- You do.
- But anyway,
so I was about to leave.
It was Mother's Day.
It was Sunday morning, about
I had to leave.
- Because of Mother's Day?
- Yeah, just so I can
be there, you know,
for just the morning, just to
have breakfast with my mom.
I was trying to go
down the stairs.
And we were just
really passionate.
I was just kissing her
and just--
- You came back up
a million times.
- A million times because
I just didn't want to leave.
I didn't want to leave.
And so we just made love again.
And then I just went back.
I went to my mom's house.
- You had to choose
your mother or her
right on the first night?
- Yeah, it was her.
It's been like that ever since.
[moaning]
- I think we'll just go back
to the Imperial Palace.
- OK.
- We have a love suite, so--
- You have a love suite?
- Gotta make some more love.
You don't understand.
This woman drives me nuts.
- Wahoo.
- Smashing, baby.
- [laughs]
- She came up with an idea
of making a list.
- And a taxicab
was one of them.
- Yeah.
- What else is on the list?
- Elevator, and we did that.
- Yeah.
- In the airplane.
I want to give him a blow job,
like, in front of everybody,
like, with my head
under the blanket.
- You two seem
very much in love.
- We are.
We are in love.
I love you.
- I love you, too.
- I know you do.
I used to live here.
And I was married for a year.
- What was that like?
- That was great. He died.
He died in
a motorcycle accident.
- Wow.
Were you still very much
in love when he died?
- Yeah.
His best friend came
to my door
because he didn't come home,
and that was very unlike him
because he was always there.
- How did he tell you?
- He just said,
"Ellie, Ricky died."
- Just like that?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- I didn't believe him
at first.
And I just cried.
I cried for a long time.
It was just uncomprehensible
that someone could be taken
from your life so quickly.
That's why I just
live for today.
- You still afraid?
- Yeah, yeah, I think
I am a little bit, huh?
- She very much is afraid.
- Is she scared of you
leaving her or of you dying?
- No, I don't know about dying
but just scared of leaving.
- Leaving, leaving.
- 'Cause I'm 20-
- Dying is out of my control,
but leaving me, yeah.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You won't believe
how they're funking ♪
♪ God ♪
♪ You won't believe
how they're funking ♪
- My favorite.
Yellow Cab.
My favorite.
- I'm your cab.
How you feeling?
Now you're not
gonna get violent?
Behave yourself, right?
I heard you slapped
a cab driver.
Is this true?
- I would never slap
a cab driver in my life.
I wouldn't even slap a dog.
- OK, my kind of guy.
Come on in.
- I didn't expect a woman.
- No?
- Do I--can I say
the same things
I would if you were a man?
- Absolutely,
whatever makes you happy.
- You seem pretty cool.
- OK.
- Are you cool?
- I'm cool as could be.
- Have you ever
smoked marijuana?
- I have, yes.
- OK, did it get you stoned?
- No, it never did, no.
- Oh, f*ck.
- OK.
Where are we headed?
- I'm supposed to
tell this to you?
- You got to tell me where--
- OK, I want to pick up
a crack wh*re
so I can look at her p*ssy.
And where the wh*res hang out,
can you drop me off there and
then just let me be on my own?
- Let me think.
- Because I do like that.
- Oh, my word.
You are a rarity yourself.
- f*ck you.
Listen, I'm not a rarity.
- No, you are--
- I'm just believable.
- You are what?
- Believable.
- You are believable.
I would say that's--
- f*ck that.
- Are you having fun tonight?
- Well, I'm just
passing through.
Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
- See, my mom left me
a lot of money now.
- Your mother did?
- Yeah.
- Thank--God bless her,
but not--
just in stipends
because I'm a drunk
and then
f*ck off.
She wouldn't give me
all of it in once.
- Did she pass away,
your mother or--
- Yes, she did.
- She died?
I'm sorry to hear that.
- It's hard.
I have nobody.
- No brothers, sisters?
- Well, I got an older brother,
but he's a prick.
- What do you drink for?
- Where do you
want me to start?
- Well, tell me.
- I'm 51 years old now,
by the way.
- You're 51,
and you still do this?
- Baby Boomer.
- A Baby Boomer,
a flower child.
What have you been doing
since the '70s?
- I shaped up a little bit.
I played a lot of golf.
- You're playing golf?
- f*ck you.
Listen, I'm trying to do the
best I f*cking can get here.
- OK, how about--
- My mother just died
six weeks ago.
She left me a bale of money.
- What are you gonna do
with all this money?
- I'm gonna go out and
spend it, if you don't mind.
- OK.
- OK?
- Now, why are we--
- All right?
- OK.
- I can do about
anything I want.
- Uh-huh.
- And I'm doing it.
- And you can play
a lot of golf.
- Tons of f*cking golf.
- Right.
- Tons of f*cking golf.
- And you'll never
have to work again?
- Never have to work again.
- Now why are we looking--
- Thank God for that.
- Why did you--
- I worked my
little f*cking a*s
off since I've been about eight
years f*cking old, you know it?
And I worked away.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Worked!
I'm tired of f*cking working!
- What kind of work did you do?
- Kissing tourists' asses.
- Really?
In the hotels?
- In the hotels,
in the f*cking bed.
Good morning, Mr. Jones.
How are you this morning?
You want your orange juice,
you m*therf*cker?
- I know how you feel because
basically I do the same thing.
- Now I'm free, man.
- So it must be tough now
getting over
your mother's death.
- Oh, it's k*lling me.
- Yeah.
- It's k*lling me.
- I can imagine.
I feel bad.
- I don't know what to do.
I'm just--I just
kind of just drive.
- Uh-huh.
- Not doing anything stupid,
you know, like,
drive myself or anything--
- Were you very close with her
when you were growing up?
- Oh, jeez.
I lived with her.
- Up until the end?
- Up until the end.
And, you know, she put her
arms around me, and she--
I wanted her to die.
I wanted her to die.
She was so old.
g*dd*mn, that's up there.
- I think you were very lucky
to have each other
for so long when you think
about it.
You had a good relationship?
- Oh, the greatest.
I was a spoiled brat.
- Oh, yeah?
In what way?
- Get everything I want.
- Really?
She gave you everything?
- Everything I want.
- And it's just you
and your brother?
- Man, older.
Now he's in charge
of all my money.
- How come he's in charge
of your money?
- 'Cause I'm a drunk.
- Oh, I see.
Did you get to say goodbye
to her before she
actually passed away?
- Of course, yeah.
I was the only one.
- Your brother wasn't there?
- Nah, my f*cking older
brother wasn't there,
and I was the only one there.
He has all the money
and everything,
and I was the only one there
that took care of her.
- It doesn't seem fair somehow.
- Man, it's not fair.
I should have all the money.
- How do you think you're
gonna deal with it in the weeks
to come?
- Gonna get drunk.
- It's--it's unfortunate
about your mother.
- Well, God,
a mother's a mother.
She--
- The reason I--
- She was the one
that raised me.
All you mothers are alike.
You're so damn loving.
- I have children of my own.
- And never--you'll never
lose that instinct.
- No, you're right.
You'll never lose it.
- I feel bad about
your mother and--
- Yeah, I'm still grieving.
- I'm sure you are.
I can see that.
Believe me, I can see that.
- I don't know what kind
of emotions are gonna--
they come from day to day.
I get pissed off sometimes.
I go, God, and then sometimes
I just cry alligator tears.
I miss her so much.
- I know you do, but--
- It's awful.
- I'm sure it is.
- [sobbing]
- I know that.
But you'll see, as time
goes by, it'll get better.
It'll get a little
easier for you.
Well, if anything else,
I could tell you this.
- Well, tell me where I get the
crack wh*res and the lowlifes.
[laughs]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Is it OK to smoke in here?
- Sure, it is.
- What's your name?
- Michael.
What's yours?
- Kay Kay.
- Hi, Kay Kay.
It's nice to meet you.
- I like your hair.
- You do?
- Yeah it's like mine.
It's straight, and
it's long in the back.
- I'm starting to grow it.
- I love it.
- So how's it going tonight
for you?
- Oh, God, I'm so tired.
I've been having back pain.
Do you know anybody around here
who do back massages and stuff?
- Just like the
massage parlors,
but they're really expensive.
- Damn.
- How'd you hurt your back?
- I've been hurting
for like five
or six years from my incident.
- What incident?
- I got hurt a long time ago.
I don't even like
to talk about it.
I've been hurt so bad.
- How'd you get hurt?
- Somebody broke into my home.
- Who broke into your house?
- I don't know the man, honey.
I really don't.
I don't know him.
- And he hurt you?
- Yes, he did, nine times.
I got stabbed nine times.
- You got stabbed nine times?
- That's why
I don't trust nobody.
- I don't blame ya.
- I got, see--my neck.
- Oh, yeah.
- Nine times.
No, I don't trust nobody.
- What, he slit
your throat there?
Damn.
- But you know what?
When I pray at night,
I even pray for him.
- What was he after?
- What you do to people will
be done to you, you know?
He was inside my apartment in
the bathtub with the shower
curtain closed.
- He snuck in?
- I didn't even know
he was there.
When I got home, he was
already in the bathroom.
- He was already in the house?
- Yep.
So I went to put my
dirty clothes in there
and hang my towels and stuff
up, and that m*therf*cker
just jumped out of there.
He said, b*tch,
give me everything you got.
I was like, huh?
Then I had my son with me.
My son is 10.
He'll be 11.
- How old was he at the time?
- Oh, God, five years ago.
He was 4 and 1/2.
- So the guy jumps out
and says,
give me everything you got?
- When he said that, he already
had slit my throat, right?
- Could you breathe?
- Yeah, I could still breathe.
It was just my neck was open.
And when I looked
at it in the mirror,
it just, like, shocked me,
and I just passed out.
Oh, God.
Woo.
It's just a trip.
- Yeah.
So he jumps out, cuts
your throat, and says--
- And I pass out for a minute.
- And you pass--
and then he kept stabbing you?
- Yeah, I got stabbed right
here, all in my chest.
Oops, all in my chest,
my sides, everywhere.
- Wow.
What a freak.
- The police said that
I wasn't the first person
that he did this to.
I was like the third person.
- Really?
- And is--he smoked drugs,
and his tweak was to see blood.
- So did you wake up
while he was stabbing you?
- Oh, yeah, it was
less than a second.
I woke up, and he was
stabbing me in my chest.
Then I got stabbed
in my eye right here.
You see that line?
And I got stabbed in my head.
- So what happened
after he stabbed you?
- We fought over the knife
because I had snatched it.
See, my hand is messed up.
I snatched it by the blade.
And I started stabbing him.
Not in his chest or nothing,
but all in his arms and stuff,
you know?
- Yeah.
- It was just crazy.
- Well, it sounds pretty crazy.
What was the trial like?
- He got 12 years.
He should have got more.
- He got 12?
- That was it.
He should have got more.
- Doesn't that mean he can
get out in like seven or less?
- Thank you.
Yeah, but I still ain't scared.
He don't scare me.
He don't pump no fear or
nothing in my heart 'cause I--
you know, I pray for the man.
I just pray.
God is stronger than the g*n.
- Doesn't it make you afraid
of men, a little leery of men
since that happened?
- Yes, it do.
I'm not gonna even lie.
I hate that, too, because a lot
of things I can't do, you know?
- Like what?
- I'm like, OK,
if I have a man or something,
and I might want to be
with my man, OK,
and he might scare me
or something,
and he might be all--he be off
into the mood or something,
and I don't want to
be bothered with him.
You know that sh*t
can't keep going on.
He be like, sh*t, I got
to find me somebody else.
You know what I'm saying?
Be done lost a good man
behind that sh*t.
- Have you lost a good man?
- Two.
- Really?
- But I have my son.
He's 10.
He'll be 11 this month.
I love him to death.
- Do you think he worries
about you?
- Yeah, it has a lot
of effect on him.
It still have a lot
of effect on me, too.
I don't know.
I just can't get it together.
My mom and them keep telling me
I need to go to counseling.
I haven't did it yet.
- You still having nightmares?
- About five times a month.
- What are those like?
- Waking up in a deep sweat
and just tripping out.
Just not throwing nothing
at nobody or hitting nobody.
I just wake up screaming
and grabbing my neck.
But I'm all right.
Sometimes people say they
all right and they ain't.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- OK, where are we headed?
- First, we got to go down to
this stop sign, make a right.
- OK, you direct me,
and we'll be in business.
You look nice.
- Why, thank you.
- You look gorgeous.
I like that perfume.
What's down over here?
- My car that died on me.
My alternator went on it.
- Did it really?
- I'm so flipping pissed.
It's the one right there in
front of you on the right.
- The red one?
- Mm-hmm.
- OK.
You sure it's not the battery?
- I'm totally sure.
- Oh, wow.
- I had it jumped four times.
It won't hold a charge.
- OK, so what's
happening tonight?
Tell me.
- Nothing.
I'm gonna go hang out with
another drag friend of mine.
- So how long have you
been dressing this way?
- Since I've been six.
- Six? Really?
That--how old are you now?
- 34.
- So you haven't taken
any hormone shots?
- No, I'm supposed to start.
- Uh-huh,
when are you gonna start?
- Actually, in two weeks.
- Are you really?
- Mm-hmm.
- How about from
the waist down?
Does that include
also having, you know,
a sexual change
in that area, too?
- You know, I'm not sure about
that because I like my pal.
I don't know.
It's a real hard decision.
- So, well, are you g*y,
or are you straight?
- Bi.
- You like men and women?
- Mm-hmm.
I prefer women,
which is really weird.
- Why is that?
- Because they're--
they're soft.
They're warm.
They're sensual.
They're emotional.
They--they think with their
heads instead of their p*nis.
- How about dressing as a guy?
- Oh, I do.
- And meeting women?
- I do.
I'm married.
My wife--I'm married.
My wife knows
I'm totally out right now.
- Really?
- Swear to God.
- Knows how you dress
and everything?
- Swear to God.
I left the house like this.
I am so pissed off.
I called Car Doctors.
They wanted 320 bucks
for an alternator.
I'm like, you know?
- I know.
- I can go to Checkers
and get one for 100 bucks.
- Uh-huh.
What kind of work do you do?
- Escort.
- For females?
Gays?
- Yeah, well, there's--
it's a wacky world,
let me say that, OK?
- Do most of them
want to have sex?
- A lot of them do.
- All kinds of sex?
- I don't--
I don't get bent over.
How's that?
I don't do that.
It's either a hand job
or a blow job.
That's it.
- Oh, so there's no
sexual intercourse?
- No, no, no, no.
I can understand why there
are lesbians in the world,
you know, because I--
you know, if I was a woman,
would want to eat p*ssy.
I mean, I really would.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
I mean,
it's just so much nicer.
Dicks are just disgusting.
They really are.
- How did you feel
when you first got
into your first escort job?
- Scared to death.
- Really?
- Totally.
Oh, yeah.
- How old a man were you with?
- Probably late 40s, early 50s.
I remember, I had this white
teddy and white stockings
and white heels
and long hair all done up.
And, yeah, I totally remember.
And then he just let it rip
all over me.
- Uh-huh.
- That was foul and exciting
in a way, I guess.
- How do you deal
with that later on
when it's all over with
and you go home to your wife?
Mentally,
how do you deal with it?
- I can't wait to
get next to her
and just hold her and be
like, you know, it's just,
like, so much nicer.
- Uh-huh.
Will she ask you now
what happened tonight?
- She doesn't need to know
all the details all the time.
And it's not because I want
to lie to her because I know
she knows what's going on.
But I don't need to, like,
shatter her warmth
and fuzziness that way.
It's like, hey, I want a man.
I don't--if I wanted to
marry a woman, I would have
married a woman, you know?
I have to tell her.
That's the love that we have,
the trust that we have.
So I have to tell her,
you know?
But I can't say that every
time, I tell her everything.
No, it's just--some things
I'm just too ashamed of saying,
you know?
- What would you be ashamed
to tell her?
- Enjoying having c*m shot on
my face, that type of stuff.
- Uh-huh.
When she says,
if I wanted a woman,
I would have married a woman,
how would you respond
to something like that?
- Great.
Let me--let's get
breast implants,
and we'll be lesbians,
you know?
I don't know.
Sometimes I don't know.
- Hi!
- Hey, there.
- How you doing?
- Okay, and you?
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Very nice.
Where are we going?
- Back Door?
- So let me understand this.
Do you look for a certain type?
- Usually it's some macho guy
or something like that.
It's like, he can't admit to
himself that he likes boys,
but as long as he sees him
in a skirt
and they're made up of makeup,
then, in his mind,
it's like, OK.
- Right.
- I'm with a woman,
but she has a p*nis,
a problem I can overlook.
- Right, right.
I'm lucky.
I mean, I'm a little bit
muscular, but I'm not big.
I'm not--I'm not really tall.
- He's like Betty Rubble.
- Really?
- Yeah.
No Flintstone feet, though.
- No, he's got tiny feet.
- Now, how did you get
attracted to your wife?
- She's gorgeous.
She looks like Demi Moore.
She has--I mean--
- She's very pretty.
- Unbelievably gorgeous.
- At what point did you
tell her that, you know?
- After about two weeks.
- And what happened
when you told her?
- I laid there and sweated
and sweated and sweated
and waiting for a response.
- And?
- She was dumbfounded
for about 10 minutes.
After about 10 minutes,
she goes, you know what?
That's OK because sometimes
I think I'm bi and like women.
And I'm like, OK.
- Did it bother you when
she said she was with women?
- No, not at all.
I'm telling you,
if I was a real woman,
I would never be with men.
I really wouldn't.
Guys are pigs.
I mean, they really are.
They're just pigs.
- Terrible.
- I tell my wife that
all the time.
- Do you think your wife wishes
you would not dress like this?
- Totally.
- You think she would prefer
you to stay straight?
- Yes, and I often wish
that I was normal.
I mean, but what's normal?
There's some circuitry in
my brain upstairs that says,
you know what?
Get to the closet.
Get to the closet.
Get to the closet.
- Well, do you remember
what she said?
- Oh, yeah.
Either you're gonna stop,
or we're getting divorced.
And I mean,
there's been numerous things.
Sign this piece of paper
saying that you're
never gonna be in a dress
or with a man again.
I mean, all kinds--
- What do you say?
- Oh, sometimes I lie
and say, sure, I can do it,
but I'll get a duffel bag,
and I'll get a room someplace,
and then I'll get
changed in there.
- Right.
- Have you ever tried to stop?
- Nine months is the longest.
- Nine months?
- That's a good stretch.
- It wasn't even a stretch
because I was still,
you know,
hiding with tights and stuff.
- Oh, right.
- Did your wife express
any type of disappointment
when you went back to it?
- Oh, yeah.
And if she looks at me, even
if I'm not dressed like this,
she still looks at me and
sees me like this, you know?
She has this vision of me
embedded in.
It's a mind scar.
- Burned in.
- Yes.
- Then what do you think
she stays with you for?
- Because we're in love.
- Yeah, that's it.
- You know?
And love conquers all.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- There he is.
That's the cab driver.
Come here.
- What's up?
- Check this out, man.
- So what, are you ET, dude?
- They're thumbs with little
things in it that make--
if you touch them, they go off.
- Are you a magician?
- No, I just bought them
from this magician place.
I'm driving her crazy
because everybody's just
dying of being hysterical.
- So where are you guys from?
- We're from North Carolina.
- Well, that's gonna impress
a lot of your friends
when you get home.
- Oh, God, don't encourage him.
Right, Chris?
See?
- So what do you do
for a living, Chris?
- I'm a plastic surgeon.
- You're a plastic surgeon?
What's your specialty, man?
- Neck up.
- No breast jobs, man?
- No, or I'd have bigger boobs.
- You'll get them. Don't worry.
- Are you guys married?
- No.
- No.
- Don't--don't jinx it.
- You thinking about it?
- No.
- No.
- So how come you answered
so fast, man?
It's like--
- Because we're,
like, in no rush.
- We're like,
I'm not gonna marry him.
[laughs]
Right, Chris?
- Well, just think, he could--
he could keep you
young looking forever.
- Yeah, well,
he can do that anyways,
whether I marry him or not.
We'd always be friends,
right, Chris?
You think?
Right?
Christopher, answer me.
- He's ignoring you.
- I know.
That's normal.
That's why I won't marry him
because he's a jerk.
I guess some people can put
up with it, though, right?
I'm just not one of them.
- I see.
- Chris.
[laughter]
Christopher.
Christopher, listen to me
for one second, OK?
He said--was talking
about marriage.
He said, he can always
keep you young looking.
I said, he can keep me
young looking anyways.
I don't have to
marry him, right?
- That's right, yeah.
Of course.
- So does he charge you
for the surgery,
or does he give it to you free?
- Free.
Charge me?
Believe me, I pay.
I'd start charging him
for my services.
[laughs]
- How long have you guys
been hanging out together?
- Four months.
- Not long.
Way too early to talk
about marriage, right?
Are you married?
- No.
- Too many good-looking women
here to be married, right?
- Chris, marriage
isn't all about looks.
I got news for you.
- What did I say?
- There's too many good-looking
women here to be married.
- I know that, Marti.
- OK.
- Looks don't have anything
to do with a person.
- No.
- She thinks that way.
I don't believe that.
- I believe that totally.
- But it's your job to make
people look better, isn't it?
- Yeah, initially, that's
the most important thing.
There's gotta be
some attraction.
I mean, if I had a hunchback
on my back and one eye,
you would not be
attracted to me.
You'd never give me the chance
to even talk to me proper.
You know what I'm saying?
A fat pig whale
or a real skinny,
you know, lean bean Gene--
- That's not true, Chris.
- Would you still like him
even if he
was fat and had a humpback?
- He is fat. [laughs]
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.
I was married before.
My husband was a big guy.
- Does he goof around with
his patients like this?
- That's the only way
to keep the kids, like,
not getting nervous and stuff.
- What kind of surgery
do you do on the kids?
- More mouth stuff on them.
- Birth defects?
- Cleft lips and palates
and some things, teeth.
- So you've been
married before?
- Yes.
Something I'll never do again.
- Well, that's probably
where Chris and I both are.
Right, Chris?
- Yeah.
- You two have both
been married before?
- Mm-hmm.
- b*tch.
I said, see ya later, baby.
Yeah, we dated 4 and 1/2 years,
married 2 and 1/4.
- Wow.
- Weird.
You think you know somebody.
You find out, damn,
you sure don't.
- You didn't want to give
her another chance, Chris?
- No way.
- Why?
- Because no desire.
God's got better plans
for me, see?
- Hmm.
For a while, at least.
[laughs]
- Why do you guys keep
saying for a while?
- We're just, like,
happy go lucky.
- Am I, Chris?
No, I thought I wasn't.
- There he goes with
his fingers again.
- I'm a little bit
more into probably
relationships than Chris.
Chris is into living day by
day, and I don't believe that.
But I'm not ready
to get married.
- What happened
with your marriage?
- My husband just didn't
want to be married anymore.
I was married for
almost five years.
- Wow.
- I loved being married.
There was a lot of different
pressures
in my marriage, though.
We tried to have kids
for four years
and were unsuccessful and
went through a lot of stuff
with that.
My husband already
had three children.
But most the thing I miss out
of my marriage are the kids.
- You still want to have kids?
- Yeah.
Maybe one day.
Chris isn't ready
for commitment.
Chris is real wandering eyes
and real into--
- Here,
I've had wandering eyes?
- Well, you just are,
Christopher.
You have to admit.
It's OK.
I mean, I appreciate
a good-looking person, too.
- When did I wander--
- I don't have to pick at my
tongue and roll it back in.
- God, you're weird.
- So is he creative
like this in bed, too?
- Yeah, don't mention bed.
- [laughs]
- Why not?
- I haven't slept with him.
- You haven't slept with him?
- Yeah, I have.
- Not as often
as she would like.
- Exactly.
Two or three times a day
is not my speed.
- Two or three times a day
is not your speed.
Chris, you act like
I'm a nympho.
- You are!
- Plenty of guys appreciate
nymphos, let me just tell you.
- Hey, I appreciate a nympho,
but two or three times a day,
I just can't do.
- Christopher, I don't ask
for two or three times a day.
I say about two or three
times a week.
- [chortles]
- Oh, when I first started
going out with Chris,
he would say--he was talking
about marriage and stuff.
You remember, Chris?
- Mm-mm.
- I had you wrapped.
First night I went out
with him, the next day,
he sent me four dozen roses,
candy,
a letter, correct?
- I don't remember any of that.
- Wow, what an a*s.
- So do you guys think
this relationship
is gonna last between you two?
- Sure, for a while.
- Sure.
- [laughs]
- Right?
- He's about the most
inconsiderate person
I've ever went out with.
- Why?
- You are because
you're obnoxious,
and you say things like that.
Would you ever say
something like that
in front of your girlfriend?
- What, for a while?
Well, I'm not
gonna say forever.
What else can you say?
- Maybe he really
feels that way.
- Maybe he does.
Maybe then thanks for
the trip to Vegas.
[laughter]
[cricket chirping]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- The most ridiculous thing
I've ever gone through
in my life.
- Where you going?
- Swenson and Twain.
- OK, tell me what happened.
- I get pulled over, OK?
And they say, hey,
your tags are dead.
I said, I've been in town
for approximately a month.
Oh, but after three weeks,
you got to go through
Nevada and all this.
I said, well, hold up.
Then they're trying
to arrest me,
saying that this--
this warrant.
I said, man, that thing
has been taken care of
way in the past.
I don't know what the hell
this is all about.
They don't want to hear it.
Your truck's being towed, and
you're going to jail, period.
So I get down there.
Finally, after--God, I've
been here since yesterday,
before they finally
come up to me and say,
all right,
we're gonna release you
because it's come back
in the computer,
this, that, and the other.
I said, what about my truck?
Oh, that's up to you.
I mean, people, you have
no idea what you have done.
And they wouldn't even
let me see a judge.
- What was the warrant for?
- This was an old traffic
ticket from way back,
and I was already done squashed
that thing a long time ago
and paid it in full.
I mean, no matter what I tried
to say to these two officers,
they weren't gonna
listen to me.
And alls I was always doing
is running down the road
to go get something to eat.
[laughs]
Ma'am, I tell ya,
I just felt
like I went through
the Twilight Zone,
and no one was hearing me.
- Were you scared
when you were locked up?
- Hell, yeah.
I don't say nothing.
I'm trying to, you know--
I just got as close as I could
to a corner area
and just basically
just sat there.
They put the air condition
on blasting.
I'm serious.
I'm sitting here like this
all night, just freezing.
I'm saying, can I get a shirt?
Can I get--no, nothing.
You don't get sh*t.
- You sound like
you've been having a string
of bad luck over there.
- No, I'm out of here
for--for my father.
I don't really know him, OK?
I'm out here
visiting him briefly.
He--my--
I have two brothers
that just--one died
of liver problems and one
visiting him at the hospital.
He went to go visit him.
On the way back with my mother,
they got into a car accident,
and he was k*lled.
Then when they were patching
my mom up, they found cancer.
And she's been going downhill
ever since.
So my father, he gets wind
of this and says,
why don't you stop here in Las
Vegas and visit for a while?
And I'm going, I don't even--
you're a complete stranger,
practically.
Well, you know, I want to
keep an eye on you.
Things are--I hear you're
pretty stressed out,
this, that, and the other.
I says, well, you know,
did it take the death
of half of my family before you
finally stepped in to say,
you want to see me now,
you know?
I mean, what the hell is this?
You've never paid two cents
worth of attention to me
and mom all these years.
- When did your father leave?
- Oh, when I was just
a little baby.
- Uh-huh.
How come you never saw him?
- I--he--deadbeat dad, man.
- What happened to your
brother, the one who died?
- Once his kidneys gave out,
they--we had a phone call.
And the second day there,
they were visiting,
my brothers, when they--
my--my brother, Bobby,
got into an accident.
It was like
It practically
decapitated my brother.
And my mom was like--
they don't even know
how she lived through that.
And she had all these stitches,
broken ribs, broken knee.
[sneezes]
- Oh, my God.
You lost two brothers?
- Two brothers and--
- And your mother is ill?
- And my mother is just--
I don't know how long.
I'm hoping.
- So your father,
have you developed
any relationship with?
You haven't?
- I have two younger sisters
out here,
I found out, and I'm
not allowed to meet 'em.
He's--he's an attorney
out here,
and he treats me
like absolute sh*t.
- He married again?
- Yeah, he married again,
and his wife
doesn't even know I exist.
My grandparents don't
even know I exist.
- But have you seen him at all?
- He's running around.
I'm just real busy.
I'm real busy.
Well, you know,
why did you ask me
to come out here and
you not--you haven't
spent one f*cking day with me?
Not one day.
And nor do you
let me see my sisters.
And to let them know
that they don't even know
they have an older brother.
They don't even know
they have a brother,
let alone anything else.
- Why won't he
let you see them?
- Because he doesn't know
how to f*cking
tell his wife that he's
a human being and screwed up
or whatever you want
to call my birth.
- Your father should be very
proud of having a son like you.
Why would he want to hide you?
- I don't know.
I--I've been in tears trying
to figure that out, ma'am.
- Did you ever ask him?
- Oh, yeah.
He just--he gets up.
He goes, I can't talk.
You just don't--you don't
understand my f*cking life.
You don't--
how dare you come in.
Why can't I be invited over
to the house, you know?
So, I mean, this is just this
whole horrendous snowball
of just absolute insaneness.
It's just overwhelming.
And I just--I look up in the
sky and go, God, you know,
what is going on here,
you know?
I don't get it.
[chuckles]
- How does it feel
knowing your father
is kind of hiding you away?
- It makes me feel like,
you know,
what am I, some inhuman thing,
you know?
You know,
like the Elephant Man.
I'm not an animal.
I'm a human being.
I mean,
what have I done to you?
You haven't even been
a part of my life,
so how can you say
I did anything to you?
I haven't spent one day with
the man, not one whole day.
I think when he--when--
I think the most I ever spent
is when we went
to a Burger King
and got a hamburger.
And that was like
about a half hour's worth
of just small talk.
And I got to go, and, you know?
- How do you feel towards him?
- I--resentful, mad,
and yet all of that on top
of it just gets overwhelmed
by just heartbreaking.
And I've just lost
two of my brothers
and me and my mom
and all this stuff
is going on, and I don't--
- You must feel very lonely
right now.
- Oh, very.
I don't--I could use a friend,
let me tell ya.
I really could.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- So what's going on tonight?
- What happened is they left
the keys inside the car.
So his dad will get--
still there waiting.
- So Dad locked the keys
in the car?
- Yeah.
I'm the one that has
to have the keys.
- And you had the spare key.
- How come your dad
didn't come pick you up?
- His keys are
locked in the car.
- So he'd rather
have his son do it
instead of him getting a cab
and come and getting you out?
- Yeah.
- What does your dad do
here in Las Vegas?
- He works for
a psychic company.
He's one of them
psychic people.
- He's a psychic?
Is he really psychic,
or is he just pretend to be?
- Pretending,
like all the other psychics.
All it is your horoscope
put in different words.
But I think
it's a bunch of bullcrap.
- What do you think about
people that call up
and spend their money on it?
- I think that they're kind of
mentally challenged.
- What do you think about your
dad, you know, doing that?
- I--I think that
he's making money easy.
It's better to get the money
and let them suffer
because he told them
their future,
which is just their horoscope.
I don't get that psychic crap.
- So how about your mom?
What does she do?
- I don't live with my mom.
- Where does she live at?
- In Oklahoma.
- So when did your parents
get divorced?
- About two--two,
three years ago.
- Do you know why?
- Not really.
- They don't like him,
that's why.
- Oh, it was his fault?
- Yeah.
- Oh, OK.
- No, it wasn't.
- He's a bad boy.
- He's a bad boy.
- It wasn't my fault.
- Yeah.
- It was my brother's.
It ain't my fault my brother
had to sh**t himself
right in the leg.
He shot himself in the leg.
- With what?
- With a .38, I think.
- How old was he?
- He's 14.
He shot himself
when my parents got divorced.
- Did he do it because
he was so unhappy?
- Yeah, I think.
- Wow.
Where did he get the .38 from?
- My dad's safe.
- And where did he sh**t
himself in the leg at?
- About an inch away
from the crotch.
I thought it was kind
of funny, though.
- Yeah?
Did an ambulance come?
- Yeah.
I was like, yes.
No more brother picking on me.
Woo-hoo.
- And how is your brother now?
- Fine.
He just likes
picking on people more.
- What does he do to you?
- He takes his fist
and starts beating me up.
But my dad's kind of
screwed up.
He looks in magazines.
- What do you mean?
- Right after he gets divorced.
Well, that's what he did
to find my stepmom.
Ooh, that looks like
a nice person.
- What kind of magazine?
- He looks through them
dating magazines.
- Dating magazines.
- Dating magazines?
- Yeah, all the people in
there look like b*tches.
- So he found your stepmom
in a magazine?
- Yep, and then her and my dad
got married in Texas.
And then the--
then the b*tch decided
to drag my dad out here.
- Have they already split up,
or are they together?
- They're splitting up.
That's the best part about it.
- That's the best part
about it.
- How does she treat you?
- She treats me like
I'm a b*stard.
That's--that's how come
I treat her son
like he's a b*stard
because he is.
- How old is he?
- How old is he?
Four, I think.
- Mm-hmm.
- If I get picked on, I
deserve to pick on somebody.
The younger you are,
the more you get picked on.
- Does the stepmother
pick on you?
- Better believe it.
She bit me on my wrist.
- Your stepmom?
- Yeah, I pulled the b*tch's
hair out, too.
I went--
she decided to piss me off.
So I took my hand on her hair,
and I pulled out a lot of hair
when she bit me.
- So why did you guys get in
that fight in the first place?
- Because she started calling
me a f*cking b*stard.
I went,
shut the f*ck up, b*tch.
Wham.
- Did she call you a b*stard
for no reason?
- Yeah.
And then after that,
I took a sh*t in the toilet,
and I stuck my stepbrother's
head in it, gave him a swirly.
- So what did he do?
- After I did it,
he went to Mommy,
and he shook his head at her.
Got the dookie water on her.
That was funny.
- Did he tell on you?
- No.
- No?
- I said if he told,
I'd cut out his Adam's apple.
- So she left your dad, huh?
- Better believe it.
- Wow.
- I'm glad that b*tch left,
too.
- So what do you
want your dad to do,
you want him to--to be alone,
or do you want him
to find a new stepmom?
- If he finds a stepmom,
it better be to my liking.
- OK.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Who's sorry now? ♪
♪ Got ya ♪
♪ Who's sorry now? ♪
♪ Who's sorry now? ♪
♪ Who's sorry? ♪
♪ Who's sorry? ♪
♪ Who's sorry now? ♪
- Oh.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- You walking out with their--
- Oh, they give me a shirt.
I was a patient there.
- What happened to you that
you went to the hospital?
- Oh, I had some chest pains.
- Uh-huh.
How did you get here?
Did you take a taxi?
- Yeah.
I don't know how I got here.
I--I was kind of mixed
up and--
- Why were you mixed up?
What happened?
- Old age.
Hell, I'm 80 years old.
- You're 80?
- Yeah.
You just get--you get
kind of goofy, you know?
- Where'd you come
from originally?
- I was born in Texas.
- Uh-huh.
- Went to Spain
when I was a kid
and got put in jail there.
- You went to jail?
And spent what--
- I went over there to fly
those airplanes,
you know, during that--
during the revolution.
I was 16, you know?
- What w*r was this?
- That was Spanish w*r.
- The Spanish?
- Yeah, that was Franco.
- They captured you?
- Yes.
Some of them said, sh**t him.
Some of them said, no, no, no,
get money, money for him.
- Are you serious?
- Serious as hell.
- Were you sh**ting people
from the air?
- Sure.
- How did you feel when this
was going on, sh**ting back?
- Oh, tickled to death,
you know?
- What?
- We didn't have any real
animosity or hate for them.
We just loved to fly
those planes.
I'm looking familiar here now.
- We got to go Pierce Lamb.
I know--
- You know where it is,
don't you?
- Yeah, I do.
Were you shot down?
- Yeah, I went down
a couple of times.
- What was going through
your mind
when the plane was going down?
Like you lost your engine?
- Nothing but exhilaration,
you know?
We just said, well, we gonna--
I'm gonna be lucky.
And I was.
But I lost one of my
good friends, Carl Kelly.
I'll never forget him.
And he was about
four times better
than I was in the airplane.
- How did he die?
- Got shot down.
- Were you ever scared
when you flew?
- Not to where you'd wet your
pants, you know, to speak,
so to speak.
But it's natural.
If you didn't have fear,
you wouldn't have--
you wouldn't have any sense.
And I--we'd take a--
let's see,
I'll get a landmark here.
- I'll find you a landmark.
- See, here's--here's--
here's what gets to you.
You got a buddy.
- Right.
- And he's twice as good
as you are.
And you know it,
and he knows it.
He won't say it,
but I will say it.
We lost people that
were more skilled.
- Uh-huh.
- And I made it.
- Did you ever get married?
- Yeah, three times.
- You got married three times?
Tell me--
- Three or four times.
I think four times.
- Four?
You must have been
some ladies' man?
- Well, no, I was--
I was way down
on the bottom of all
these guys, these fast guys.
- I don't think so.
Do you remember which one
was your best marriage?
- The one I got now, I guess.
- You think?
- Yeah, she was--
she's--she's sick now,
and she's not gonna make it.
And she's out
at her son's house
because he's got
a big mansion out here,
and he's got help
to take care of her.
I'm gonna lose her,
I'm sure, before I go.
- How old is she?
- She's about 84.
There's no way she can make it,
not with her age.
- You don't think so?
- And it's--it's sad.
I think about it every day,
but it's--
it's inevitable.
She was such a good woman,
such an honest woman, sincere.
And I never saw one
that had the good will
and everything that Mary had.
See that green sign there?
- Yes.
- That's me.
There's my light.
Pull over to the curb.
You know, it's sure been a
pleasure that you
picked me up because you
really did make me feel better,
you know?
- I'm glad I did.
- I'm not sad to the point
of tears or anything,
but, I mean, just not in a
very salacious or happy mood,
you know?
But you brightened my day.
- You're very sweet.
- You're sweet, too.
- ♪ I see trees of green ♪
♪ Red roses, too ♪
♪ I see them blue ♪
♪ From me and you ♪
♪ And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world ♪
- I'm doing a documentary
on real people
called "Taxicab Confessions."
- I know about that.
- If you'll sign this release
for me, the ride is free.
- Is there a camera in here?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
- You got to be kidding.
Oh, sh*t.
- ♪ The colors
of the rainbow ♪
♪ So pretty in the sky ♪
♪ Also on the faces
of people going by ♪
♪ I see friends
shaking hands ♪
♪ Saying how do you do? ♪
- OK, now did you
print your name?
- I'm trying.
- Go ahead.
- Just give me
a f*cking minute.
- [laughs]
- Jesus Christ.
Why didn't you tell me this
in the first place?
I've kind of been a--hello.
- This is real love.
- ♪ I hear babies cry ♪
♪ I watch them grow ♪
♪ They learn much more
than I'll ever know ♪
- One for you.
- No.
- No way!
- One for you.
- No.
- Come on.
- Baring our sex life,
Christopher.
They're gonna know
that I'm a nympho.
- So what?
- ♪ What a wonderful world ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, yes ♪
[bright tones]
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01x04 - Taxicab Confessions: America Undercover Part 4
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When passengers enter the cab, they are recorded with several small cameras hidden in the taxi.
When passengers enter the cab, they are recorded with several small cameras hidden in the taxi.