01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

of portland bill

this is my lighthouse on the guillemot

rock and here are my assistants ross and

cromity busy cleaning and polishing

you know said crowley i think i'd better

give my new fishing mod a polish i must

keep it and span

now ain't it funny how a small thing

like that can start an argument

ross began to tease comedy

you never catch anything with that it's

got too many gadgets on it

what do you mean this is high technology

every one of these gadgets has a use you

know

well for example this rings when the

hook's in the water and this buzzes when

it's out that way you know exactly where

your hook is yes and so to the fish

and with that ross picked up his picture

of captain biscay

now here's a real fisherman just look at

the size of that fish

oh it's just a shrimp

you should have seen the one i caught on

holiday

it must have been this big

now it was at that point that i came in

oh dear no what's the matter you're

supposed to be polishing not arguing

i was just telling ross about the time i

caught a fish this big exaggerated

gravity a salmon it was this big ah come

off it gravity you couldn't catch a cold

in a thunderstorm

now i caught a herring off this very

lock last week that was oh easily this

big

oh yes said i i don't think i saw that

one um no i don't think you did bluff

brass it was too big to get in the pan

so i threw it back in the sea but it was

easily this big oh it was was it

well mine was this big

i couldn't stand anymore you two always

bickering over some or other the only

way to stop this argument is to older

fishing match

we'll see who can catch the biggest fish

for tea well that suits me fine said

chronicle i'll get the rest of my gear

i'll probably catch a whale

look at king nature in there

ah you can laugh ross

but you'll see

you won't catch a thing with that twig

and a bent pin

and still bickering they went off to

their favorite places on the rock

well by now i'd had enough of their

argument and i decided that the fishing

competition had to end in a draw

and for that i had an idea

when i was out of their sight i caught

hold of both their fishing lines and

tied them together

then i gave ross's line a tug

i've got one

right rod pulling hard and of course

took his chromity at the same time

me too

mine's bigger

now after watching them puffing and

pulling against each other for about 10

minutes i decided that enough were

enough so i cut the lines and they both

fell back with a bump

suffering swordfish gasp ross

i'm glad that's over

my fish nearly pulled me into the sea

hey and mine broke my line well perhaps

you'd better try for smaller fish from

now on i cried

the comedy was worried uh we've caught

nothing but tea and i'm hungry don't

worry i caught a tin of baked beans

hmm

makes you hungry this fishing lock i

could eat another tin of baked beans

said grass

ah well that's nothing i could eat

another two tins said gravity

and a jam sandwich

blistering barnacles they were at it

again come on you two there's too much

polishing to be done to hold an eating

match i'll polish the brass work until

it shines like a new pin smiled ross

mine will shine like two new pins

boasted chronically

now that was one argument i didn't mind

them having

[Music]

there's always something happening on

the guillemot

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we're rock

and cleaning everything we can till all

the brass is gleaming and the rooms are

and span

scrub dust polish and rub with cleaning

cloth and water tub splish splush

mopping the floor with puddles and

bubbles all over the floor

which fish gets the most applause

which fish does get the most applause a

starfish

[Music]

do

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with cleaning cloth and water tub splish

splosh mopping the floor with puddles

and bubbles all over the floor

we've polished and we cleaned up

everything we can now all the brass is

gleaming and the rooms

[Music]

tell us another story bill

i was in the service room working on my

maps and chats

i was trying to forecast the weather for

the next few days

when in came comedy carrying a cup of

tea

hi there bill

have you got time for a cup of

tea well i thought i'd have a bit of fun

with him so i went over to the window

and lifted up some seaweed that was

hanging there pretended to study it and

i said

suffering swordfish it's a quarter to

11. yes i'd love a cop

comedy had fallen for it

he thought i'd told the time by the

seaweed

oh

how did he do that

he all the time i feel that piece of

seaweed

you can't do that can you

he was so amazed he must have put at

least 18 sugars in my tea

um

i think i'll just take rosa copper he's

doing stairs in the engine room

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ross had just finished servicing the

generator

oh a copper just what i needed he said

oh thanks comedy uh now lost um

you know a bit about machinery uh clocks

and things

now tell me

how do you tell the time with a bit of

seaweed seaweed

you're feeling all right chromity not

banged your head on anything lately not

being at those brandy ba*ls in the

medicine chest again eh

no i haven't

i'm being serious

when comedy told ross how he'd seen me

tell the time with a bit of seaweed

ross decided he had to see it for

himself

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uh gravity

what time is it

oh i don't know what time it is ross

it might be early it might be late

in fact i've no idea what time it is at

all

time i said oh i can tell you that

i went to the seaweed again

it's uh five to eleven i told them

ross looked at cremity comedy looked at

ross

hmm time to check the light i said and

left them alone to see what would happen

and sure enough as soon as i'd gone they

both went over to the

seaweed oh let's have a go

comedy was very excited he lifted the

seaweed down from its hook

it's all slimy and bumpy perhaps you

tell the time from those bumps suggested

ross ah yes and comedy started to count

the bumps

well what's the time committee

um

i'll make it 82 past 103.

that can't be right

he threw the seaweed on the floor in

disgust and started agging whether or

not it could be digital seaweed

this is where i came back in

uh what's the time i asked them

oh oh bill the time we put the seaweed

back

the comedy slipped on the seaweed and

landed with a bump on the floor

whatever are you doing

well

if you must know bill is that blooming

seaweed of yours we just can't figure

out how you tell the time with it

well i have to tell them

bless my whale bone corset i can't tell

the time by seaweed either

i was only lifting it out of the way so

i could see the church clock in

mcgillicuddy

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oh so you don't tell the time by the

seaweed no lad i'm afraid i don't i

laughed

what time do you make it chromity a*s

ross

ugh time i went on watch

oh come with me to the rolling sea while

the weather's calm and still

and we'll have some fun and laughter

with the adventures of portland bill

[Music]

you