- Is t*rd a habit of yours?
How are you feeling, hot?
Is it stuffy in here?
- Not, not really.
I'd take off my jacket, but I don't,
I don't have any deodorant
on, slept in my car.
- Did you park in the lot?
- What? No.
- Good, because we don't validate.
I hope you fed the meter.
- How, how long you think we're gonna be?
- A whole lot longer now
that you've arrived late.
- It was a mistake, it was-
- What happened the day of your arrest?
- Oh God, yeah.
At this point it's all such a blur.
- Well, let me help you.
You got into a fight.
- We, you know, sometimes we,
we, we, we miscommunicate,
and ah,
Gigi, Gigi wants a ring, you know?
You know, but I can't really afford one.
And, and, honestly, I don't really believe
in the whole institution of marriage.
- Oh, but you believe in making babies.
I want you to enter domestic
violence group therapy
for your anger issues.
For your anger issues.
- This is ridiculous. I-I'm
not, I'm not an angry person.
I'm not a, I'm not a violent person.
I am the most nonviolent undomesticated
man child that I know.
- Perhaps you're on the
flip side of the coin,
just as bad, sometimes worse.
- What? What flip side?
- Once alpha, now beta,
sliding your way down to omega.
Recessive, emotionally regressive,
usually manic depressive.
Last of the white male
privileged tricksters.
But now you're confused, afraid,
finally on the losing
end of the sh*t stick.
I am a little distracted,
maybe, you know, I have some
me-me-med-medical condition.
I was, was born a preemie.
- Your only defense now is to lie down
and play dead like a possum.
But if you take a closer look,
you will see a nasty virile monster.
- What did my neighbors
say about me? This is-
- Well, in a nutshell,
they don't understand
why Gigi is staying with you.
- Thanks.
- Hey, are you still there?
- Uploading now.
- You've got to be the laziest,
shittiest coder I've ever worked with.
- Yeah, well just make sure
you send that PayPal, okay?
- Whatever, just get it done.
- Boy?
- Eight laps and the steps, bit my record.
- Beat, not bit, beat.
- Beat, I said beat Sam.
I'm almost back to my pre-baby body.
- You know I parked on the street,
so the driveway's all yours.
- How's Lucas?
- He's, he's napping.
- Did you pay the gas bill?
- I called the gas company,
and I got us an extension.
- Did you check
the noises in the attic?
- Set up rattraps.
- What if it's not rats, Sam?
- Set bigger traps.
- I need a massage.
- My hand, it hurts,
'cause I'm working all day.
- No pot?
- No, no pot.
No marijuana.
- You promised you wouldn't, Sam.
- I know.
- You have to put the
trash in the driveway Sam,
otherwise they won't take it, okay?
What?
What what? Oh sh*t.
Oh, come on.
No, no, not the wifi, where's the wifi?
Oh, no, no, no. Oh God.
Sorry, is there any way I
can push off the deadline
till tomorrow?
- No way.
Like, this has got to go out, today.
- sh*t.
- Gigi?
- Hey, man.
- Oh hey.
- Hey, what's up with your wifi?
- Oh yeah, ah dude, my
wifey doesn't really want
you poaching our wifi anymore.
- Dude, I just need to get
back online one more time
and then I don't have to poach your wifi,
'cause then I can upload my work
and then I can pay my wifi bill.
- Yeah, well look, I don't
really know how Gigi is
when you don't do what she asks you to do,
but Peggy's from down South.
- Gigi's South American,
way worse, trust me.
- Yeah, I do trust you.
- This is an emergency,
I'll come right now. Hank?
- Gigi? Gigi?
- Marcel.
- Listen, anything else you
ever need bro, give me a call.
- Sam, what are you doing?
You're going somewhere, he's crying.
Sam, this fan could blow a blanket
over his face and smother him.
- But it's so hot, if he gets cold,
I don't want him to be cold.
You know, I mean, look I messed up.
It's just, I was fixing the wifi outside,
and I was trying to get us connected.
You see, he's fine, it was
like three, maybe four seconds
before you come in, what?
- It smells like pot.
- Where?
- You're a liar, Sam.
- Hey, I didn't lie about
that, the gas company.
I-I really called and left a message.
- A message?
- For an extension.
- This boy needs a bath.
Maybe you should ask one of the
neighbors for another favor.
- Creep.
Hey, hey, hey.
How far does your wifi extend?
- I don't know, I've never checked.
- Think I can get online
so I can upload some work?
- Why don't you go to a Starbucks?
Oh that's right, you cannot,
because you never buy anything.
You just take up space, oui?
- Hey man, listen look, I
just need to get online.
- This is so awkward for me to say,
but I do not know my wifi password.
- How is that even possible?
- My mom, she created the
wifi and when she passed away,
she takes the password with her.
- f*ck the password, okay?
I'm gonna go to Starbucks,
and eat a stale croissant.
- Merci beaucoup, it's all one word.
- Hey, thanks man.
- So, now that you're getting paid.
- We already talked about this.
- And we agreed.
- We didn't agree.
We really need to keep doing this?
- We're already doing this, Sam.
- So why do you gotta make it a thing?
- I'm not making it a
thing. I just want a ring.
- Honey, do you really wanna
waste money we don't have,
on a finger ornament we don't really need?
- What, what are you doing, Sam?
- I thought we could
play some Lycan Wiccan tonight.
- No, I don't feel like Lycan Wiccan, Sam.
No, no Sam, no.
You bit me, Sam.
Wait, do you hear that?
Who's moaning?
Who's moaning, you hear that?
Is that porn?
- What, what?
- Is that g*y porn?
- No.
- I bore your son for nine months.
Am I not enough for you?
- No.
- No?
- No, you're not not enough,
you're more than enough.
- Am I too much for you?
- No, I just get distracted sometimes.
- Why, don't you take your medication?
- The insurance ran out.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You lapsed our insurance too?
- I didn't wanna stress you out.
- What else you haven't
been telling me, Sam?
Be honest.
- I didn't, I didn't,
I didn't pay off all my student loans
and my credit card bills.
- How can I believe anything you say?
You lying, lazy, disgusting masturbator.
- I wasn't masturbating.
- Are you g*y, Sam?
- Stop it.
It was a pop-up ad.
- Is that why you haven't
buy me a ring yet?
- I will find you a ring tomorrow.
- Find?
- Yeah.
- Where, inside of your g*y a*s?
- No, we'll go downtown tomorrow.
- Just to save your computer?
- Yeah, no. Yes, no, no, no, no, no don't.
No!
- Ouch.
- Oh my God.
Gigi, are you bleeding?
- Are you cheating?
- God.
- I can barely move my arm, ouch.
- What about my computer?
- Rice in the kitchen.
- Is that the cops?
- Move over, don't freak out.
Act normal, Sam.
- They're everywhere.
- Hello, this is the police.
Open up.
- Hello?
- Hi, come on out ma'am.
- Yeah?
- Good evening, ma'am.
Could you step outside for a moment?
- Sure.
- Um-
- Hey guys.
- What's up, guys?
- We received an emergency call.
- A domestic disturbance.
- That's so silly.
- Are you sure it wasn't
one of the neighbors?
- The call
was from this address.
Oh, sh*t.
Body cam's broke.
- Oh, it's gonna be one of those days.
- Problem here, boys?
- No problem here, officers.
Everything's fine.
- We got a call from some
of your goddam neighbors
stating otherwise.
- This, this your car?
- Yeah, yeah, that's my car.
This, this is my house.
- You're the owner?
- The car, yeah.
- Who owns the house?
- The landlord,
but the lease is in my name.
- Yeah, but-but we all live here.
We have, we have a baby.
- You have a baby in the house.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Where's the baby now, ma'am?
- He's in the crib.
- He's sleeping.
- You know the registration's
expired on this vehicle?
- Ooh.
- Sam, I thought you paid
your car registration.
- You know, we could tow
that for being parked there.
- Oh yeah.
- You know,
I'm so sorry about that, I'm
just gonna, I'll move this.
- Sam.
- Are those marks on your arm?
- Those are bruises, talk to him.
- Marks, what marks?
My baby's crying, I'll be right back.
- Sir, sir, do not go to that car.
- Well, I'm just
grabbing my registration.
- Do not get in that car.
If you start that car, I
will f*cking end you, sir.
Do not start that car.
- This isn't the first time he beat you?
- Bit, not beat.
- Beat, he bit me sometimes.
- So he beat you repeatedly.
- Bit, not beat.
- Beat.
- Why do you make noise?
- Beat, I said beat. He bit me sometimes.
- So the prick beat you repeatedly?
- Bit not beat, bit.
- What did he tell you?
- I bit her, I-
- He beat me sometimes
in bed, like Lycan Wiccan.
Only in America this is a problem, guys.
I'm from Brazil, in Brazil it's normal.
- Gigi, they don't know
what you're talking about.
- No hablo Espanol.
- You're gonna get that a*s beat, brother.
- Whoo.
- Oh yeah.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa boy.
What's up Sarge, got another one.
All right, listen to him moan, mm-hmm.
There we go.
Door number one? Not that one.
Oh, door number two?
- No.
- Oh, I think we got a winner, boys.
Oh, we're in luck friend.
- Your life.
- Oh, stay there.
- Get you ready,
there we go, oh you're good, oh.
- You know that guy you just
passed, mister touchy-feely?
- He's beautiful.
- That's Dave.
He wants to talk to you.
If you want, I can put you over in there.
- Super soft hands.
- Bring a bologna sandwich.
- Oh, he knows what he likes.
- He'll be gentle.
- Just wanna make a phone call.
- Oh yeah, no the phone
isn't working right now.
- We want you to
get settled in, you know,
get comfortable with your surroundings.
- Don't sit on anything too sharp.
- Oh, and they maybe, if you're a good
little baby bubba bogan, Mommy
and Daddy will let you play
that big people game, we like
to call, touch the telephone.
- Ooh, ring ring, banana d*ck.
- Shh, I won't hurt you.
- I'm not gonna stay here long, so.
- All night long, it's so long.
But the music's right.
- Ooh, aren't you
two just a gaggle of geese?
- Birds of a feather, what do they do?
- Ooh, you know what they do.
- I just want a phone.
- Don't worry, baby mama's
just fine, just fine.
- What about my son?
- Oh, we got our best man on it.
- He's lactose intolerant.
- Aren't we all?
- Hear, hear.
- You like what you see?
- That's a really nice jacket.
- Breonna Taylor Jocinda Wallace.
You know what I said I'd do
to your little skinny a*s
if I ever saw you around.
- Ah sh*t, it's the queen b*tch herself.
- That Miss Queen b*tch to you, sweetie.
Oh, so is this your new little cowboy toy?
- Oh no sweetie, we just met.
He hasn't looked under my hood yet.
- Oh, so you're just friends, huh?
- Uh-uh.
- So do you have any money?
- You got any money?
- Yeah.
- No, no, I'm broke.
- Like a trust fund or something maybe?
- Some BitCoins, I haven't
been able to pay the gas bill.
- Oh girl, you can have him, f*ck that.
- Case number.
What the hell's that smell?
- I was in jail all night.
- Damn man, you stink.
Yes, that's you. That's all you, man.
- Is there a bathroom?
- Yeah, come on man.
- Hey man.
- What's up?
- Can, can I ask you something?
- What do you, what-
- Do I stink?
- Please don't make me smell you.
- That's a really nice
shirt, maybe I can borrow it?
- Go ahead and sit down
here, yep, right here.
Hold your legs together.
Eyes ahead, don't move
until your name is called.
Your lawyer will be with you shortly.
- I'm
insisting on two strikes
against his record, and
a restraining order.
- A restraining order?
- Yes, he's dangerous.
We have to protect you and the baby.
- Mr. Mangola? Cody
Marksmayor, Public Defender.
Your case is on the docket.
We're discussing the terms
before we see the judge.
- I'm recommending two strikes
against father's record.
- A single strike, which can be expunged
if father completes community service.
- Nothing near women.
- Or children.
- Nine months picking
up litter off the 405.
- I'm recommending 12 months.
- Make it 10.
- Wait, you're my lawyer?
- Yeah Rich, Rich Leeds.
- Rich.
- Not yet, but I am working on it.
- Rich, get me the f*ck outta this.
- Call me d*ck.
- My client is recommending
a restraining order.
- Who's your client?
- My client is your son.
- He's 13 months old, how
does he have his own lawyer?
- My client's rights began the moment
he took his first breath
on California soil.
You could be assured, I am here to defend
and protect the rights of his needs.
I'll do everything in my power
to make sure true justice is served.
200 hours community service
and two weeks downtown.
- My client won't survive
two weeks downtown.
- He'd better learn.
- My client will need therapy
for all the trauma she's gone through.
- Wait, wait, so, so, so
we're all against each other?
- Mother would like father
to know that she's sorry.
She wishes him luck.
- No, no, no, no, no stop.
No waving, no smiling.
- No smiling?
- No, no signs of affection whatsoever.
- How many feet should
the restraining order be?
- I'm gonna push for 20 feet, yeah. Watch.
- 20 feet from the son or the mother?
- Both.
- What about the house?
- Everything, 20 feet from
everything. Jesus Christ.
- Whose, whose milk bottle is that?
- Sam, let the department handle it.
- What department?
- Child and Family Services.
- Please just remind them
to change my son's bottle
and put it with nut milk,
'cause he's lactose intolerant.
- You're doing great. You look
great, you're doing great.
You're right in the pocket.
- Bad news, good news, great
news. Which do you want first?
- Bad?
- Restraining order, 50 feet.
- 50 feet from what?
- Gigi, your son, your house.
You have someplace you
could stay, friends, family?
- My family in New York.
- Yeah, can't leave the state.
You shouldn't leave the city, really.
I mean, you don't wanna look
like you're abandoning your family.
You don't wanna be a deadbeat dad.
- I'm not a deadbeat dad.
- The good news is that
the police are dumb.
Yeah, they didn't properly
take your blood alcohol level.
So your driver's license is not suspended.
- Good.
- Yeah.
You are gonna have to install
a breathalyzer in your car.
You have a wagon or a hatch?
- No.
- You can still fold down your seats.
Most of my clients live in their cars.
- What's the great news?
- Oh, the great news.
Yeah, the great news is
that due to your various
medical conditions-
- What medical conditions?
- Well, your mental
inadequacies, your ADD,
your Asperger's, you
know, that type of thing.
Because of that, I was able to have
your police report
struck from your record.
- Thank you, thank you.
- So an investigator is
gonna be interviewing you
on Monday at the DCFS, 11:00 AM sharp.
Do not be late, okay?
And I will see you here
for your reassessment.
- What reassessment?
- Blackshaw can lift
the restraining order,
if she's in a good mood.
- What determines her moods?
- Justice is blind,
Karma's the real b*tch.
- The f*ck is that supposed to mean?
- Hello, Ms. Costavega.
I'm Gerry Spinoza from
DCFS, we need to talk.
It's just a normal part
of our ongoing assessment.
Just finished with the
mom and 3-XO'd the son.
- Well, I still got
some neighbors to see, so.
- This is ridiculous.
How far is 50 feet?
- You shouldn't
be here, they just left.
They're talking with the neighbors.
- What did you tell them?
- What?
- The social workers,
what did you tell them?
- What?
- What, what did you tell the,
the people from the court?
- Just tell them the truth, okay?
- What? I just came here to get my stuff.
- Your stuff?
- My stuff.
- I put all your
things inside of the car.
- Well, thank you.
- What?
- How is, how's my son doing?
- He stood up this morning.
- What?
He stood up.
- All by himself?
- Yes.
- Did he walk?
- No, no steps, no walking.
- Okay listen, listen.
I'm gonna get on this really
quickly and we're gonna,
we're gonna, we're gonna
erase this invisible bubble.
- Don't be late for your meeting tomorrow.
- I'm gonna call my lawyer,
and I'm gonna do something about it.
First, I'm gonna find a
nice, safe place to sleep.
- No, that's less than 50 feet, back up.
- Oh sh*t.
- Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. They're watching you.
Just so you know, they are,
they're always watching.
Especially this one, she hovers
over me like a NSA spook.
It's really disgusting actually, you know?
How close can you get to your kid?
- I have to stay 50 feet away.
- Oh lucky, I got a hundred.
You know what they're trying
to do to me right now?
They're trying to make it
so I can only see my son,
who's right there, and not my baby girl.
I, I don't even know how to process that.
It actually makes me just
wanna jump off a cliff.
I swear these women are packing heat.
And this Spinoza guy, total pervert.
- Come on, man.
- Well, this is a government agency.
It's their job to get you to comply.
- Do you ever feel scared
when you're at home with your parents?
What do they do that
makes you feel scared?
- Fight a lot sometimes.
- Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
Can I call you Sam?
- Call me anything you want.
Just tell me how the
hell to get outta this.
- Yeah, well unfortunately for you,
you're up sh*t's creek already.
One of your neighbors called and reported
that you were the house yesterday.
- Which neighbor?
- I can't tell you that.
- I just went back to get my things.
- You cannot go to your home, period.
- Something's off about him,
and he's got dirt under his nails.
His eyes are dilated, he's got red eyes.
I'm pretty sure he's high,
just letting you know, okay?
- Excuse me Mass, I have
Mr. Mangola for you.
- What happened the day of your arrest?
- Oh God, you know, at this
point it's all such a blur.
Did you park in the lot?
- What? No.
- Good, because we don't validate.
I hope you fed the meter.
- Excuse me, my car got
towed. It's a blue El Camino.
- License please?
- License, it's, but that, well here.
It's expired, that's me though.
- So
it's 300 for the towage fee,
300 for your expired tag.
- $600? I, I, I, I don't,
I, all I have is this.
- You know ah, you're welcome to come in
and get your stuff if you want.
- My stuff.
You're good, you're fine.
- What
have we here?
Whoo, a nice little place
to head my head down.
- f*ck, f*ck.
- Hey, I just,
I-I was tired and I, I
like your house, sorry.
- You like my house?
- Yeah.
- You wanna be roommates?
Are those guitars?
- Psst, hey.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- I got some mail from Gigi.
- By mistake?
- Why of course, by
mistake. Ah, I understand.
You are paranoid because
everyone's looking for you.
Don't worry, I haven't told anyone.
- Thanks man, you're a real pal.
- But the police did tell
me to call if I see you.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Don't call the police.
- No I wouldn't, but just saying.
- Stay away.
- Pardon?
- Stay the f*ck away.
- Don't you have to be in therapy
with the state right now, or somewhere?
- Long deep breath in
, hold.
There you are, in the gap.
It feels so good, stay there, and exhale.
Let it all go, this is your best, biggest,
most powerful tool from
your toolkit.
When you're ready to open your eyes,
join us in the circle.
- Why are you so shaky,
man? Chill, relax yo.
- I shouldn't be here.
- Trigger warning, trigger warning.
- What's the trigger, what's the trigger?
Tell me how you feel.
- Like I hate f*cking liars,
who think they're holier than thou.
- Okay, let's keep things
under control, okay?
- Nobody controls me.
- Turn down
that heat, you turn it down.
Turn the fire down.
- I can't hear myself think sometimes,
when she goes.
- You, you're angry, I mean he's, angry.
- There are many ways, unusual ways,
that anger shows itself, right everyone?
- Maybe I'm just like
a little bit annoyed.
- What annoys you? Why are you annoyed?
- That I have to be here.
- That's what we all said, brother.
- I can't see my son.
- Why can't you see your son?
- 'Cause they won't let me.
- How does that make you feel?
- Pretty f*cking pissed.
- There you go.
There you go, get into it,
dig that out, go for it.
Fall deep into that.
- I'm not like these guys.
I'm not like you, I'm not like you,
I'm not like you, and I'm not like you.
- Look at this mother faking liar.
- Chill out, please!
- f*ck you.
- Shut the f*ck up.
- I'll f*cking torch you.
- All of you f*cking assholes,
just shut up.
Calm down, please!
- I'm calm!
- Use the tools, use the tools.
Choose the number two tool, the-
- Now this f*cking as*h*le,
you know what? Stand up.
f*cking stand up, as*h*le.
- Chill.
Stand up.
f*cking stand up.
- as*h*le, this f*cking-
- It's okay.
All of us breathe deep, breathe deep.
All right.
- Yeah.
- Use the tools, use the tools.
- Good.
- They brought in
another counsel for Gigi.
Someone who could translate and
better understand her needs.
- Rodrigo specializes in
the Southern hemisphere.
- He's, he's saying that
you triggered group members,
and grappled with them
in a scrum on the floor.
Is that true?
- No.
I was just going along
with what was happening.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Do not ever say that in
this courthouse, okay?
We need people to think
you're a responsible adult.
- Responsible.
- All rise.
The Court of Mar Vista
Children's County Court
is now in session, the Honorable Judge
Julie Fox Blackshaw presiding.
Everyone remain standing
until the judge enters
and is seated.
- Please sit down.
"Beats repeatedly, history
of sexual deviancy,
weapon of choice, teeth?"
- It's clear that father
isn't making any progress.
DCFS motions that the
restraining order remains.
- Counsel agrees, we don't
want father's anger issues
affecting my client.
The boy is still having
trouble drawing circles.
- Oh, objection, Your Honor.
Come on, what one-year-old
can draw a circle?
It's ridiculous.
- Overruled.
- Over?
Father would like the court
to know that his son is, is,
is standing upright and he's
on the verge of walking.
Father would really not wanna
miss him becoming a toddler.
- Objection, this is an emotional plea
that has no basis with the law.
- Sustained.
- Your Honor,
mother would like courts to know
that she's finally able
to pay the gas bill,
and she has turned the man
cave into a massage parlor.
- Oh not just massage, Reiki, Qigong,
angels, crystals, and shiatsu.
- What, no jujitsu?
- No jujitsu until the
baby starts walking.
- Okay, son stays with mother,
father has no visitation rights.
Could you, you put that on the record?
Case number 3XOV7, restraining
order remains in perpetuity.
No contact with Gigi.
- Is there a consistency?
- Not really,
there's not a consistency.
- As long as it's clear.
You know, you gotta be clear.
- As long as it's there,
you know, I'm just saying.
- What are you guys talking about?
- They're trying to get me to do
these f*cking piss tests
so I can see my kids.
Can you help me out?
- Hey, hey.
- 200 bucks a jar, right? Right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Here.
Come on, come on, come on.
- I'm here to get my car back.
- Yeah, just, just, just
give me a second, please.
Yeah.
- Actually, nevermind.
Hey, can I use your phone?
- To call Gigi?
- No, yeah.
- It's ill*gal, you can't do that here.
Those women, they read lips.
- Baby, don't cheat.
- What, what is this?
- I want show it to
Gigi, I wanna tell her.
- Wanna show her what?
- Come on, man.
There must be something I can do.
You guys take lunch breaks?
What's your favorite ice cream?
- Who said I like ice cream?
Dude, she's not picking up.
She's playing it smart, you should too.
- Where are you?
- I had to find the secret spot,
I think I'm being followed.
- Why are you calling me?
- I have a surprise.
- Very good.
- I wanna show you something.
- Can't be organic.
- Me too.
I'm sorry Sam, I really
didn't want you to miss it.
I got it on video, here.
Let's go, let's go.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- What is that?
- He's walking, he's walking.
My kid's taken five steps, he's-
- Shh.
- God, how many steps is that?
- It's just three or four.
- It looks like he ran a marathon.
- No, you're gonna be back by then.
- Wow, do it again, do it again.
- He's gonna do it a lot,
don't worry. You'll see it.
You'll see it at some point.
Go, go.
Whoa, yeah. Good job.
- Is your counsel there with you?
- Yes, aren't you with yours?
- Does he know I'm contacting you?
- Rodrigo?
- sh*t, I gotta go, I'll
talk to you later. Okay, bye.
- Bye.
- Yeah.
- Hey, the social worker
cited my f*cking phone.
Give it back to me, now.
- She didn't see anything.
- What? Wake up, buttercup.
They'll check the call logs.
- Just erase your call history.
- And what if
Gigi doesn't erase hers?
Call history.
- Call history shows
Counsel Leeds called Gigi
at the time I saw Sam on his phone.
- Objection, father was with me
eating ice cream at the time.
- Overruled.
- It, it was, it was my fault.
- Objection.
- My fault.
- Mr. Mangola, you don't
speak for your counsel,
nor for yourself in this court.
- Sit down.
- Sit down, you gotta sit down.
- But I-
- You are walking a dangerous line
by violating the terms
of the restraining order.
- I didn't-
- I was there when you
called and harassed her.
I witnessed your lack of
faith in Gigi's ability
to lie for you and to erase your calls.
- Classic prisoner's dilemma.
- Yeah.
- Without the capacity for faith,
you are only left with force.
- What? What is he talking about?
- I don't know, but he's on fire.
- Without faith, father
tried to force mother
to erase the calls by
aggressively texting her.
I want to hear you say you are sorry.
- I'm, I'm sorry, I aggressively texted.
- From your counselor's phone, admit it.
- He already admitted it.
- Your Honor, I motion
Mr. Leeds is no longer fit
to be father's counsel on this case.
- All right.
- Motion sustained.
Mr. Leeds, this court
deems you no longer fit
to provide counsel for your client.
Commiserating with a client
like a kid in a candy store?
Father must provide new counsel
before his reassessment,
and I increase the
restraining order to 100 feet.
- How far is a hundred feet?
Not far-
- Stay away from me.
I don't wanna get disbarred.
- There must be something I can do.
- Yeah, you heard the
judge, find a new lawyer.
- Well do, do you know anyone?
- Not that I want to
incriminate working for you.
Hey, good luck. Your case is f*cked.
- I want everyone to hold hands.
This, we gotta feel this.
Hold hands, everyone right now, do it.
Do it, I want you to go deep here.
I want you to breathe in,
and feel where we are right now together.
Breathe in, how do you feel?
- Mm, I miss my daughter.
- Yes, yes.
- I miss my son.
- Yes you do, breathe out.
- I'm finally free.
- Yes.
- I know what freedom is.
- Yes.
One more, breathe in,
breathe in, breathe in,
and let it all out.
- What the hell happened in there?
- f*cked up with DCFS,
I got my lawyer fired.
- Oh sh*t, you lost your lawyer?
Well look, look, if you're looking
for a heavy hitter, you're in luck.
This guy Zimmerman, he changed my life.
He's the best, he'll have your back.
The peeps at his meeting, terrific.
You'll love him, check it out.
- Intimacy is the enemy, boys.
Commitment is f*cking death.
They are sucking us into
the vortex of their power
with that velvet little vice of theirs,
called the vag*na, okay?
It's our weakness, sh*t's kryptonite.
They are brainwashing us
with their domestication.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Taking our hard-earned cash for what?
A manicure, therapy, some Botox.
Another freaking fancy
handbag, when we coulda gotten
a knockoff down on Broadway
for 20 bucks, am I right?
Our male instincts, our
biological, biblical,
primal essence is being eroded
by wave after wave after
wave of tidal feminism.
The estrogenation of our
culture is ripping our dicks off
every single f*cking day, okay?
We're at a point now where the government
can come right up to your front door,
knock, and take your ba*ls outta your sack
if your wife hasn't already done it.
- Yeah, whoo!
- It's a pretty straightforward
contract, right?
The broads want the cash
and you all want the p*ssy,
and they're gonna use that
p*ssy to get the cash.
Why don't you use the cash
to go get yourself some gash?
- Gash, gash, gash,
gash, gash, gash, gash.
Gash, gash, gash, gash.
Gash, gash, gash, gash,
gash, gash, gash, gash.
- Who invented the telephone?
- The man.
- Television?
- The man.
- Who invented trains?
- The man.
- The lanes?
- The man.
- Who invented fantasy f*cking football?
I served my country in
Iraq, I got a law degree.
I wrote a book or three.
Sure, I can have any woman I
ever wanted, but you know what?
I'm no different than any
one of you in this room.
The same as you and you and you and you.
The only difference between you
and I, is that God chose me.
He put me here on this earth
to end the genocide
against the male species.
Amen brother, amen.
- All right, we got any questions?
Hey, what says you bro?
- Hey, here.
- Ah.
- Yo, say something.
- Let me guess, you got that look.
You got that look, maybe
you're living outta your car.
- I wish I had a car.
I'm living in a, a box, alley.
It's like a hundred
feet away from my house.
There's this restraining order against me,
and I can't go home, I can't see my kid.
- Hey, soy boy. You married to her?
- No. Actually no, not, not yet.
- That's a start.
Hey, this is a guy we
could all look up to, huh?
Show the man some respect.
There's a tiny little gap
that separates the S from the H-E,
and that little gap is
there for our man here
to defend his right to be
the he, he was born to be.
Did you know that the scales of justice
is some blindfolded broad
holding the scale with one hand,
and in the other she's
got a sword down here?
And when she comes with that
sword to take your nuts off,
who you gonna call?
- The man.
- The who?
- The man.
- A-again.
- The man.
- Who?
- The man.
- Like I f*cking taught you.
- The man.
- What's your name, ace?
- Sam.
- Sam, I need you to do me a favor.
I want you to get on your phone,
and I want you to call
your BM right now, Sam.
- My BM?
- Baby mama.
- Baby mama.
- Baby mama.
- I can't, I can't call her.
- Listen to this whiny
little f*cking soy boy.
Standing up and walking upright
is what makes us different
from all the other animals
in the f*cking kingdom, you understand?
Okay, and once you're up,
you never go back down.
- No.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wake up, h*m* superior us.
h*m* superior us.
There's one important question
that you need to know.
Perhaps it's the only question
that you need to know.
And that is, is the f*cking you're giving
worth the f*cking you're getting, huh?
- Do it, do it.
- Do it, do it,
do it, do it, do it,
do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
- Hey, it's me.
- Sam?
- I'm at a payphone. Don't
worry, everything's fine.
I just wanna know, is he
there with you right now?
- Rodrigo?
- Yeah, Rodrigo.
Who else would it be?
- Stop it Sam, he's being so nice.
He's from Sao Paulo just like me.
- I'm coming over there right now.
- Sam, don't come here.
- I'm not gonna miss it again,
not when I've already seen him take, what?
Like five or six steps on the phone?
I wanna see his seventh step.
- Don't come here, it's dangerous.
- Isn't the seventh step
some kind of spiritual significance?
Isn't that what you always say?
- Now you listen to me, Sam.
Don't risk coming over here.
- I'm coming over
over there right now.
- Boris will show you on FaceTime.
- f*ck FaceTime, I'm gonna be
there flesh and blood time.
- Sam, he just fell asleep.
He's gonna be out for another hour or so.
- If you see any social workers,
I want you to go to plan B.
- Plan B?
- The wind chimes.
I won't come in if I hear the wind chimes.
- Wind chimes?
- Don't worry,
I'll wear a disguise,
nobody'll recognize me.
If, if, if they show
up, you just, you just,
take away the wind chimes.
- What?
- I love you!
- Case number 3X0V7, Mangola,
father isn't answering us, we
don't know where he's staying.
Let's get a jump on this case.
Don't forget the bathroom,
always check the shower.
- I don't do attics, mm-mm.
- What do you
have against attics?
- They're creepy, and they're like about
10 gajillion degrees hotter
than the rest of the house.
- I don't do attics either.
- I'm like, very sensitive.
- Hi.
- Hello, Ms. Costavega.
How are you this afternoon?
Let me introduce you to my supervisor.
- Do you mind
if I call you Giselle?
- Gigi, just Gigi.
- I'm Amelia, can we come in?
- Why?
- It's just a normal part
of our ongoing assessment.
- Ah, you know Lucas just fell
asleep, I was just relaxing.
I was going to give myself
a wax, you know, like-
- Gigi, we need to make sure
that you're not creating
an unhealthy home environment,
that could be damaging or
inhospitable for your child.
- It's all good.
- You know, a lotta bad juju.
- No, good juju here.
- Right, we need to check
this out, thank you.
- You look ridiculous.
- Well, hey, you said, you
said if I ever needed anything?
- Well, you need something now?
- Just, just to chill out
here in your backyard?
- Yeah I don't know, man.
If your parole officers
come by again.
- They're not parole
officers, I'm not on parole.
- f*ck you, f*ck face.
- What?
- That's my wifi password.
- I don't want your f*cking wifi, man.
- I have one rule in this house,
leave the past behind you.
- I happen to agree with you,
but I've also met Sam in person.
Is he always so emotionally stunted?
- You know, Sam was born a preemie.
Mercury was in retrograde
when he was born.
He can be a little bit stuck.
- Men who commit domestic
violence have this pattern.
They're wound up in knots,
and then one day they just snap.
- That was a mistake,
it was a stupid mistake.
- 99% of battered
women say the exact same thing.
- Oh, then I guess I'm the 1%.
- It's nice to be special,
but denial is more than
just a river in Egypt.
- Guys, Sam is not violent.
He's very sensitive, he's autistic.
- Honey, Hitler was autistic.
He drew dogs, and like horses and sh*t.
- I don't live in denial or Egypt.
I always wanted to go there
though, they say it's beautiful.
- Son of a b*tch.
Just a minute, guys.
I'm gonna get that, and be right back.
- Hi Desire, are you busy? Sorry.
- Yes.
- Oui, I didn't know,
if you had plans inside over there.
- I'm busy, Marcel.
- Ah because,
so the stupid post office is
always confusing our addresses,
so um, I have your mail here.
I hope you're not getting my paycheck.
- Okay, I'll let you know if I do.
- Oui, so you know, I'm making
some baguette right now.
Ah, I don't have any butter.
Do you have butter for me?
- No, I'm vegan. I don't have
any butter, I'm so sorry.
- Ah, no meat.
- Yeah.
- So no meat huh, no meat?
- No, no meat.
- Is it ah, is it sad and
lonely without Sam here, or
- Yeah, you know.
- You miss him?
You know, does Sam, Sam
have a mustache right now?
Because I saw his little hat.
- No.
- Oui?
- No.
- I saw his stupid f*cking
hat. I know he's here.
- That wasn't Sam.
- It was Sam.
- No.
- I saw him.
I know he's here, Sam's
here in the neighborhood.
I could tell the police if I want to.
- Go get your baguette
Marcel, I have to go.
- See, this fan
could blow the blanket
over his face and smother him.
- I'm gonna ask you one more time.
Do you have contact with Sam?
- No.
- Do you let him in the house at all?
- No.
- Do you let him spend
any time at all with your son?
Excuse me, may I use your restroom?
- Sure.
- Lucas, Lucas, oh no, no, no, no.
It's okay.
- Sam, they're
coming for you, hide.
Did you check the noises in the attic?
- Aw, Dadu, where's Dadu, Lucas?
Gigi, can you please meet us out front?
- Dada.
- Have a seat.
- Well, well, well, the jig is up.
We know he's here.
- Where?
- We found his cardboard
camp out in the alley.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's good.
Sam is catching up with nature.
You know, he needs grounding, earth.
- As long as his earth's a
hundred feet away from yours.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yep, yep, I told you.
You know, these stains.
- Broom.
- We've been having problems with.
- Here we go, bro.
You ready to rock?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Now that was a really dumb
f*cking move, all right?
Listen, at some point down the line,
you're gonna have to get
yourself a divorce lawyer.
I was married three
times, never had a prenup.
Each time they could
have skinned me alive,
pulled my b*ll s*ck up around,
and wrapped it around my head, okay?
You wanna know why I'm still
here, why I'm still alive, huh?
Wanna know? Okay.
Resources, connections, boom.
It's the name of the game, bro?
- That guy.
- What?
Please.
Are you worried about Pancho over here?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
You don't know about him?
Dude rides unicorns, okay?
Capiche?
- Oh, Rodrigo's g*y?
- That's another way of putting it.
Oh boy, here comes trouble.
Welcome.
- Yeah, you too.
- Ooh.
You can relax, bro. I got this, okay?
Me and the Foxy, we go way back.
- Who's Foxy?
- Judge Blackshaw.
We went to law school together.
Let's just say we had a thing.
- That's great, connections.
It's just like you said,
it's the name of the game.
- Boom.
- All rise.
The court of Mar Vista
Children's County Court
is now in session.
The Honorable Judge Julie
Fox Blackshaw presiding.
- So tell me, Supervisor Moss,
when you found my client
alone, scared up in the attic,
was see an alpha male basking
in his toxic masculinity, huh?
- I don't know, you tell me.
- It's not what it looks like.
It's not what it looks like.
- It definitely looks like
you're breaking your restraining order.
- It's-
- Put the weapon down.
- It's, it's not a weapon.
It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,
I'm, I'm, I'm using it to, to hunt.
- Put it down.
Ouch.
Ooh, ooh.
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't you come near me.
I'll kick you with my other
foot, don't you touch me.
- Ma'am, ma'am, I just wanna make sure
that y-you're not bleeding,
and it's not broken.
- That hurts.
- Sorry, sorry.
- What the hell are you doing up here?
- It's supposed to be a surprise, but.
- The cops, they're here, you gotta go.
- Let's go, clear.
Oh, wait a minute?
- My God, oh wait.
- Clear.
- Where's Sam, Sam?
- Stand back ma'am stand back.
- Stand up, stand up.
- Ma'am, stay back.
- Oh God, baby.
- Ma'am.
- Stay back, stay back, stay back.
- Hey, he's resisting.
- No!
- Resisting.
- Please Sam, no.
- Give us your hand.
- My God, oh my God, Sam.
- Gigi.
- Go ahead and cuff him.
- Sam.
- Stand him back up.
- Sam.
- Gigi.
- Sam.
- Before they take me away,
marry me, let's do it?
- Sam.
- Let's do this.
- We're already doing this, Sam.
Don't leave, don't Sam.
- Gigi.
- Sam.
- So what is the department's final word
on the father's reassessment?
- I think the father's making progress.
Here's a positive letter
from his group therapy.
- What does father's counsel say?
- Father's counsel, father's
counsel says we should
blow up this restraining
order, and this whole charade
should be expunged from
the f*cking record.
- Watch your mouth, ZZ.
- Love when you go with that.
- Stop it, mother's counsel.
- Mother's counsel,
mother's counsel agrees.
- Objection, father has already broken
the restraining order twice.
- Objection? First to see his
son walk upright like a man.
And second, to protect
his family from vermin,
like the man he was
meant to be, am I right?
- Sustained.
- Come on, Foxy.
- Don't call me that, counsel.
- If anybody knows, it should be you,
what it's like to be in
a passionate relationship
that goes, you know, astray.
- You are dangerously close to
contempt, so cut it out, ZZ.
- What's up, man?
- Just shh, shh.
Okay, I got this. You're
making me look bad.
- Making you look bad?
- Shut up, shh.
- You're fired.
- I'm fired?
What are you talking about?
You can't fire me, you're
not even paying me.
This is pro bono, bro. No can do, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can do that.
- Judge, Judge, I can fire my
lawyer, can't I? He's fired.
- You most certainly can, Mr. Mangola,
but in this case, I would not advise it.
Do you really think that you're capable
of representing yourself?
- Yeah, yeah, I-I am, I
do. I-I-I represent myself.
- Objection, this is children's court.
Defendant can't take the stand
to approach the judge without counsel.
- Overruled, technically
defendant can address the court,
if defendant is acting as his own counsel.
You're free to go, ZZ.
- Free, free? You bet
your sweet a*s I'm free.
'Cause I'm a man, my own man.
The man I was meant to be.
And you, you'll always be
my Foxy.
Keep digging your own grave, soy boy.
These broads, they'll take you
for everything you're worth.
I'm outta here. Good luck, soy boy.
- Okay.
Ah , oh
well.
I, I don't know,
I don't know what to say.
I don't know, I-
- Please make your point, Mr. Mangola.
I hear the cafeteria are finally
offering vegetarian lasagna.
So please, speak now or
forever hold your peace.
I don't know,
I don't know how to do any of this right.
B-but, before this happened, I, you know,
I didn't know what it even
meant to be a man, capital M.
But honestly, I thought
that, that I was a victim,
you know, to an unfair system.
But now, now I-I know,
I know that you guys
are just trying to do what
you think is right, you know?
All I, all I do is, is, is blame myself.
I am guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty.
I'm guilty of, of taking
my family for granted.
For not listening to
their needs, you know?
But sometimes, sometimes all you got,
all you gotta do is
fight, fight to hold on.
Sometimes all we can do is,
is hold onto each other.
- Order this court, immediately.
Should we release the restraining order?
- Mother's counsel agrees.
- Put this on the record.
Father may return home to his family,
but peace will be proven over time.
Case number 3XOV7 will
remain open for observation,
with the goal of preservation.
- That, that's
great. What does that mean?
- It means you can go home,
but the case isn't closed.
There'll be more house calls,
progress reports, reassessments.
- Yeah, I'll still be watching your a*s.
- This is ultimately a family court.
The Latin root of the
word family is civil.
- One, two, three, four.
- Civilization literally
means strong family structure.
I wish you well maintaining yours.
Restraining order released.
- Look at, it's a half step.
Seven and a half steps, oh.
- My god. No, you don't
need any help, huh?
- I was thinking about the ceremony.
What if we do something in the backyard?
- No, no, no, no, no, no way.
No ceremony, too many people.
- Too many people.
- No, no way.
But we're gonna have to
invite the department,
and if we don't, they're gonna
be upset about it, right?
- The only thing I know, is
that y'all need a prenup.
- Are we gonna have a party and a prenup?
- Do we need more lawyers for prenups?
- I'm just gonna-
- Oh no, no, no.
I'm just gonna go.
- Bye.
- Thanks for doing this.
- Gotcha.
- She's taking a long time, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- We are here today to celebrate
the union of Gigi and Sam.
But before we get started,
does anyone have any objections
to this marriage, speak now
or forever hold your peace.
- Gigi wait,
ah, it's, it's, it's me,
it's, it's Marcel, I have your mail.
Ah, and I'm in love, you're
in love, I'm in love.
This is Didi, Gigi-
- My name is Deandra.
I don't know why he keeps calling me that.
- Did you invite him?
- No.
- So, if you're in love
and I'm in love, it's so-
- We literally met five minutes ago.
- On Tinder, but it's okay.
- So we're in love-
- Merci beaucoup, Marcel.
- So you can get married-
- Merci beaucoup.
- If you want to.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
- Open bar? Okay.
- And now, by the power vested in me,
I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.
You may now kiss.
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
BitterSweet (2025)
Moderators: Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341