A Night at the Opera (1935)

[bunniefuu]

- The gentleman has not arrived?

- No, he has not.

Why, I'm afraid

the dinner will be spoiled.

What difference does it make?

It's too late to dine now.

- Oh, boy.

- Yes, madam.

Will you page

Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please?

Mr. Otis B. Driftwood!

Paging Mr. Driftwood.

- Mr. Driftwood!

- Ha-ha-ha!

Mr. Driftwood!

Mr. Driftwood!

Boy, will you do me a favor

and stop yelling my name

all over this restaurant. Do I

go around yelling your name?

- Mr. Driftwood!

- Say is your voice changing?

Or is somebody else

paging me around here?

- Mr. Driftwood!

- Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello!

Mr. Driftwood, you invited me

to dine with you at 7:00.

- It is now 8:00, and no dinner.

- What do you mean no dinner?

I just had one of the biggest

meals I ever ate in my life.

And no thanks to you, either.

I've been sitting right here,

since 7 o'clock.

Yes, with your back to me.

When I invite a woman to dinner,

I expect her to look at my face.

That's the price she

has to pay.

Your check, sir.

$9.40? This is an outrage!

If I were you,

I wouldn't pay it.

Now, then, Mrs. Claypool, what

are we gonna have for dinner?

- You've had your dinner.

- Alright, we'll have breakfast.

- Waiter!

- Yes, sir.

- Have you got milk-fed chicken?

- Yes, sir.

Well, squeeze the milk out of

one and bring me a glass.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Driftwood, three months ago,

you promised to put me

into society.

In all that time,

you've done nothing

but draw a very handsome salary.

You think that's nothing, huh?

How many men do you

suppose are drawing

a handsome salary nowadays?

Why, you can count them

on the fingers of one hand,

my good woman.

I'm not your good woman!

Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool.

I don't care what

your past has been.

To me, you'll always be my good

woman, because I love you.

There. I didn't mean

to tell you but you,

you dragged it out of me.

I love you.

It's rather difficult

to believe that

when I find you

dining with another woman.

That woman?

Do you know why I sat with her?

- No.

- 'Cause she reminded me of you.

- Really?

- Of course.

That's why I'm sitting

here with you,

because you remind me of you.

Your eyes, your throat,

your lips...

Everything about you reminds me

of you...

except you.

How do you account for that?

If she figures that one out,

she's good.

Mr. Driftwood, I think we'd

better keep everything

on a business basis.

How do you like that?

Every time I get romantic

with you,

you wanna talk business.

I don't know.

There's something about me

that brings out the business

in every women.

Alright, we'll talk business.

You see that man over there

eating spaghetti?

No.

Well, you see the spaghetti,

don't you?

Now, behind that spaghetti is

none other than

Herman Gottlieb...

Director of the

New York Opera Company.

- Do you follow me?

- Yes!

Well, stop following me,

or I'll have you arrested!

Now, I've arranged for you

to invest

$200,000 in the

New York Opera Company.

- I don't understand.

- Don't you see?

You'll be a patron of the opera.

You'll get into society.

And you can marry me, and they

will kick you out of society...

and all you've lost is $200,000.

- Oh, Mr. Driftwood.

- Oh, Gottlieb. Allow me.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.

Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.

Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

Mrs. Claypool, I could go on

like this all night,

but it's tough on my suspenders.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.

Mr. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool.

- Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.

- Oh, what are you doing?

Now, if you four people

want to play bridge,

don't mind me, go right ahead.

Mrs. Claypool, I'm so happy.

I just wanted to see

if your rings were still there.

Mrs. Claypool, you're as

charming as you are beautiful.

I'm afraid you've used that

speech before, Mr. Gottlieb.

Now listen here, Gottlieb,

making love to Mrs. Claypool

is my racket.

What you're after is $200,000.

You better make it sound

plausible, because

incredible as it may seem

Mrs. Claypool isn't

as big a sap as she looks.

How's that for lovemaking?

I think the Europeans

do it better.

Alright, Gottlieb, it's your

turn, you take a whack at her...

and keep it clean.

Mrs. Claypool, it is most

generous of you to help us.

Now, you have, of course,

heard of Rodolfo Lassparri.

- Oh, of course.

- Oh...

He's the greatest tenor

since Caruso.

- Yes.

- Tonight, uh...

With the money

you so generously provide

I sign Lassparri

for the Opera Company.

He will be a sensation.

All New York will be

at your feet.

Well, there's plenty of room.

And now, the, uh,

the opera awaits us.

If you both will honor me

by occupying my box.

- I should be charmed.

- And you, Mr. Driftwood?

Well, uh, I'll join up

with you later.

Now, listen, Gottlieb,

nix on the lovemaking,

because I saw

Mrs. Claypool first.

Of course, her mother

really saw her first,

but there's no point in bringing

the Civil w*r into this.

What are you doing in my

costume?

Take it off at once,

do you hear?

Immediately.

Why, you...

You...

Take that off!

Take off that dress,

do you hear me?

You dumb idiot, you do what

I say, or I'll break your neck!

Do you hear me?

Take off that dress!

If I get my hands on you, you

will never hear the end of this!

You're no longer my dresser,

you're fired!

Get out!

Get out!

Get out.

Do you hear me? Out you go.

And don't come back

in here again.

Don't you care.

You're lucky to be rid of him.

- Oh. Good evening, Rosa.

- Good evening, signore.

Tomasso, why don't you come in?

I've been waiting for you.

Are they not beautiful,

signorina?

From Signor Lassparri.

I wouldn't wear them

if they were the only flowers

in the world!

Come in!

Oh, no. Not if you're gonna

use that tone.

Now, let's try the whole thing

all over again.

Only this time, try to be

a little more cordial.

Come in.

Ah, that's better.

Now, let's try it once more.

No, Ricky. You're such a fool.

Now, what was it you wanted

to see me about?

Oh, I suppose I sent for you?

Well, you meant to.

Didn't she, Marie?

Uh-huh.

Ah, look, here it is the last

night of the season

and I'm more in love with you

than ever.

Now, what're you gonna

do about it?

Oh, Ricardo, we have all summer

to talk that over.

Tonight,

we have to sing an opera.

We have to sing an opera?

You have to sing an opera.

I'm nothing but

a glorified chorus man.

- Don't say that.

- I've got to say it.

I've got something else to say.

What are you doing tonight?

Unless that big ham

Lassparri asked you first.

- He has asked me first.

- Just my luck.

But I'm having supper with you,

Riccardo.

Hooray! We'll have champagne,

music, flowers...

"Lassparri."

Oh, no.

No flowers.

- Well, Fiorello!

- Tony!

Where have you been

all these weeks?

Oh, here, there,

different places.

You got some mail for me?

Mail for you?

You don't work here.

Alright, so where am I gonna get

my mail? I no work anyplace.

Hey, Tomasso!

- Shh!

- Shh!

- Hey, not so good.

- Shh, shh!

Don't be so glad.

I brought you present.

You got something for me, too?

What do you got?

Where's...

Where's Riccardo?

- Alright.

- Shh.

- Fiorello!

- Ricardo!

Nice to see you.

What are you doing here?

I thought you were out

with the circus.

The circus?

When was I with the circus?

Oh, I nearly forgot.

It was a long time ago,

last week.

Why, since then

I have lots of jobs.

Your piano and my voice.

You know all those years we

studied at the conservatory,

and what's come of it?

Oh, what's a matter with you?

We're still young.

We've got our health.

You hear that?

Someday, Riccardo,

you're gonna be

where Lassparri is.

Why, when you were little boy,

six years old,

you sing better than Lassparri.

Yeah, maybe I was better at six

than I am now.

Ah, you make me sick.

You crazy.

Why, you sing

better than Lassparri

ever could sing,

and you know it.

Alright, I know it

and you know it,

but the public doesn't know it.

- Alright. We tell the public.

- How?

What you need is a manager.

A wise guy,

somebody who's very smart.

Hey...l know

just the man for you!

- You do? Who is it?

- Me!

But you wouldn't make

any money at it.

Alright, I'll break even. Just

as long as I no lose nothing.

Is the opera over yet?

Not yet, Signore,

in a few minutes.

Hey, you, I told you

to slow that nag down.

On account of you,

I nearly heard the opera.

Now, there, once around

the park, and drive slowly.

And none of your back talk.

You're still crazy about her?

And she's crazy about you, too?

Even if she was,

I couldn't ask her to marry me.

Hey, don't worry. The manager,

he'll fix everything.

Anyhow, we're together again.

You and me,

just like old times, eh?

- Yeah, like old times.

- Yeah, you bet my life.

If you pardon my saying so,

Mrs. Claypool...

Mr. Driftwood seems to me

hardly the person

to handle your business affairs.

I'm beginning to think

the same thing.

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Well, I made it.

How soon does the curtain go up?

The curtain, Mr. Driftwood,

will go up again next season.

You've missed the entire opera.

Well, I only missed it

by a few minutes.

Then, I can go then, eh?

Well, Mrs. Claypool,

was I right?

Isn't Lassparri the greatest

tenor that ever lived?

He's superb.

But what did you

have to pay him?

What's the difference?

He must sail with us tomorrow

no matter what we pay him.

Why, he would be worth

$1,000 a night.

- How much?

- $1,000 a night.

$1,000 a night.

What does he do?

What does he do?

He sings.

And you're willing to pay him

$1,000 a night just for singing?

Why, you can get a phonograph

record of Minnie the Moocher

for 75 cents.

For $1.25, you can get Minnie.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

Mrs. Claypool...

I think I had better arrange

to see Lassparri immediately.

You are agreed, $1,000 a night?

Just as you think.

$1,000 a night.

There must be some way

I can get a piece of this.

Wait a minute.

Why don't I sign Lassparri?

I represent Mrs. Claypool.

But I represent

the New York Opera Company.

Now, boy? Will you give my card

to Signor Lassparri, please?

What is it?

What do you want?

- Rosa.

- Yes, signore?

My good friend Herman Gottlieb

is coming back to see me.

How would you like

to have supper with us?

I'm terribly sorry,

Signor Lassparri,

I already have an engagement.

Oh, I see...

Well, that's too bad,

because I have an idea,

he's going to invite me

to sing in New York.

And, uh...

he may permit me

to select my leading lady.

Are you sure you can't break

your appointment?

I'm terribly sorry, signore.

What do you mean by humiliating

me in front of those people?

You're fired, do you understand?

You're fired.

Hey, big bully, what's the idea

of hitting that little bully?

Will you kindly let me handle

my own affairs? Get out.

Now, what do you

got to say to me?

Just this. Can you sleep on your

stomach with such

big buttons on your pajamas?

Why, you...

Nice work, I think you got him.

Ah, smelling salts.

That'll bring him to.

You're sorry

for what you did, eh?

That shows a nice spirit.

Now he's coming along.

He'll be fine now.

Get fresh with me, huh?

- How do you do?

- Hello.

- What's the matter, mister?

- Oh, we had an argument.

He pulled a knife on me,

so I shot him.

Do you mind if I...

No, no. Go right ahead.

Plenty of room.

Two beers, bartender.

I'll take two beers, too.

Well, things seem to be getting

better around the country.

I don't know.

I'm a stranger here myself.

Say, I just remember. I came

back here looking for somebody.

You don't know who it is,

do you?

It's a funny thing,

it just slipped my mind.

Oh, I know, I know.

The greatest tenor in the world.

That's what I'm after.

- Why, I'm his manager.

- Whose manager?

The greatest tenor

in the world.

The fellow that sings at the

opera here?

Sure.

What's his name?

What do you care?

I can't pronounce it.

What do you want with him?

Well, uh, I want to sign him up

for the New York Opera Company.

Do you know that America is

waiting to hear him sing?

Well, he can sing loud,

but he can't sing that loud.

Well, I think I can get America

to meet him halfway.

Could he sail tomorrow?

You pay him enough money,

he could sail yesterday.

How much you pay him?

Well, I don't know.

Let's see...

$1,000 a night.

I'm entitled to a small profit.

- How about $10 a night?

-10, $10?

I'll take it.

Alright, but remember,

I get 10%

for negotiating the deal.

Yes, and I get 10%

for being the manager.

How much does that leave?

Well, that leaves him, uh...

- $8.

- $8, eh?

Well, he sends $5 home

to his mother.

- Well, that leaves $3.

- $3.

Can he live in New York on $3?

Like a prince.

Of course,

he won't be able to eat,

but he can live like a prince.

However, out of that $3,

you know,

he'll have to

pay an income tax.

Oh, his income tax...

Yes, you know,

there's a federal tax,

and a state tax,

and a city tax...

and a street tax,

and a sewer tax.

How much does that come to?

Well, I figure if he doesn't

sing too often,

he can break even.

- Alright, we take it.

- Alright, fine.

Now, here are the contracts.

You just put his name

at the top,

and, uh, and you sign

at the bottom.

There's no need

of you reading that,

because these are duplicates.

Yeah, it's a duplicate,

I see.

- Duplicates, eh?

- I say, they're duplicates.

Yeah, sure, is a duplicate.

Don't you know

what duplicates are?

Sure, those five kids

up in Canada.

Well, I wouldn't

know about that.

I haven't been

in Canada in years.

Well, go ahead and read it.

- What does it say?

- Well, go on and read it.

Alright, you read it.

Alright, I'll read it to you.

- Can you hear?

- I haven't heard anything yet.

You say anything?

Well, I haven't said anything

worth hearing.

Oh, that's why

I didn't hear anything.

Well, that's why

I didn't say anything.

Can you read?

I can read, but I can't see it.

Don't seem to have

it in focus here.

If my arms were a little longer,

I could read it.

You haven't got a baboon

in your pocket, have you?

Here, here, here we are.

I've got it...

Now, pay particular

attention to this first clause

because it's most important.

It says the, uh...

"The party of the first part

shall be known in this contract

as the party of the first part."

How do you like that?

That's pretty neat, eh?

No, it's no good.

What's the matter with it?

I don't know.

Let's hear it again.

It says the, uh,

"The party of the first part

shall be known in this contract

as the party of the first part."

That sounds a little better,

this time.

Well, it grows on you. Would you

like to hear it once more?

Uh, just the first part.

What do you mean?

"The party of the first part?"

No. The first part of

"The party of the first part."

Alright, it says,

"The, uh...

"The first part of the party

of the first part,

"shall be known in this contract

as the first part of the party

of the first part, shall be

known in this contract..."

Look, why should we quarrel

about a thing like this?

- We'll take it right out, huh?

- Yeah. It's too long anyhow.

Now, what do we got left?

Well, I got about

a foot and a half.

Now, it says the...

"The party of the second part

shall be known

in this contract as the party

of the second part."

Well,

I don't know about that.

Now what's the matter?

I don't like

the second party either.

Well, you should have come to

the first party.

We didn't get home till around

four in the morning.

I was blind for three days.

Hey, look, why can't the first

part of the second party

be the second part of the first

party? Then you got something.

Well, look, uh, rather

than go through

all that again,

what do you say...

Fine.

Now, uh, now, I've got something

here you're bound to like.

- You'll be crazy about it.

- No, I don't like it.

You don't like what?

Whatever it is,

I don't like it.

Well, don't let's break up

an old friendship

over a thing like that.

- Ready?

- Okay.

Now, the next part, I don't

think you're going to like.

Well, your word's

good enough for me.

Now, is my word

good enough for you?

I should say not.

Well, that takes

out two more clauses.

Now, "The party

of the eighth part--"

- No, that's no good, no.

- No?

- "The party of the ninth--"

- No, that's no good, too.

Hey, how is it my contract

is skinnier than yours?

Well, I don't know,

you must have been

out on a tear last night.

But anyhow, we're all set now,

aren't we?

- Ah, sure.

- Now, just, uh...

Just you put your

name right down there,

and then the deal is,

is legal.

I forgot to tell you,

I can't write.

Oh, that's alright, there's no

ink in the pen, anyhow.

But, listen, it's a contract,

isn't it?

- Oh, sure.

- We've got a contract.

No matter how small it is.

Hey, wait, wait.

What does this say here?

This thing here.

Oh, that?

Oh, that's the usual clause.

That's in every contract.

That just says, uh...

It says, uh...

"If any of the parties

participating in this contract

"are shown not to be

in their right mind,

the entire agreement

is automatically nullified."

Well, I don't know.

It's alright.

T-- that's in every contract.

T-- that's what they call

a sanity clause.

You can't fool me.

There ain't no Sanity Claus.

Well, you win

the white carnation.

- I'll give this to Riccardo.

- Sensation in New York.

Pardon me. Could you tell me

where Signor Lassparri is?

Sure. There's Lassparri.

Lassparri?

Lassparri?

Then whom did I sign?

You signed Riccardo Barone.

That's my man.

Signor Lassparri,

what happened?

Speak to me.

It's me, it's Gottlieb.

Speak to me, it's me.

It's Gottlieb.

What is this now?

How early the fruit

is falling this season.

Are you sure you have

everything, Otis?

I've never had

any complaints yet.

Well, here you are.

On your way to America

and fame.

Oh, Riccardo,

I'm going to miss you.

How do you think

I feel about it?

Oh, Miss Castaldi,

all ready for the big trip?

Oh, Mr. Gottlieb.

This is Riccardo Barone

of the Opera Company.

- How do you do?

- Barone? Did you say Barone?

Is it as funny as all that?

Mr. Otis B. Driftwood

seems to think that

you have quite a voice.

Oh, he has, Mr. Gottlieb,

really he has,

a wonderful voice.

- Yes, really I have.

- Well, that's interesting.

- Oh, Rodolpho.

- Rosa...

- Come on, Riccardo, come on.

- No, thanks.

Come on, Ricky!

Stop! Signor Lassparri.

- Signor Lassparri.

- Yes?

Will you give

us a farewell song?

- Oh, please!

- Please...

- Yes, sing us a song.

- Come on...

My dear friends, I am so sorry,

I must be excused.

But I have a slight touch of

laryngitis.

Oh

- Where's Rosa?

- Yes, Rosa!

Why should I sing for them

when I'm not being paid for it?

- Please sing.

- No.

Yes, of course I'll sing.

♪ I'll find you

in each dream I dream ♪

♪ With every longing sigh ♪

♪ l'll count the hours

when we are apart ♪

♪ For here I'm all ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone with the sky

of romance above ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone when you

whisper goodbye my love ♪

♪ But I will still

remember the happiness ♪

♪ We've found ♪

♪ And though I may be alone ♪

♪ I'm not alone ♪

♪ As long as I find you

in every dream ♪

♪ I know

I'll see you each night

♪ In the starlight's gleam ♪

♪ And in those magic moments ♪

♪ I'll have you for my own ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Till we are together we two ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone with a sky

of romance above ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone when you

whisper goodbye ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ And I will still remember ♪

♪ The happiness we've known ♪

♪ And though I may be alone ♪

♪ I'm not alone ♪

♪ As long as I find you ♪

♪ In every dream ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ I'll see you each night ♪

♪ In the starlight's gleam ♪

Oh, Mr. Gottlieb.

Hasn't he a wonderful voice?

There must be a place

for him in New York.

Not a bad voice.

Someday, perhaps,

when he has made a reputation.

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Till we are together ♪

♪ We two ♪

♪ Alone ♪♪

All visitors, ashore!

- All visitors, ashore!

- Rosa!

- Fiorello!

- Ahh!

- Oh, we've come to say goodbye.

- Have a good time.

- Ahh!

Alright, goodbye.

Arrivederci.

Hey! Come on, come on!

♪ But I will still remember ♪

♪ The happiness we've known ♪

♪ I know I will be alone ♪

♪ I know♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Alone ♪

- Alright, take it away.

- Yes, sir.

Hey, have I got time to go back

and pay my hotel bill?

- Sorry. Too late.

- That suits me fine.

♪ Alone alone till

we are together ♪

♪ Alone ♪♪

Hey! Hey, that's mine.

A trunk thief, eh?

Where you going with that?

- Suite number 58, sir.

- 58? That's me.

Let's go.

Hey, what's the idea?

What's your idea?

Hit-and-run driver, huh?

l-- I'm sorry, sir.

Sorry, my eye.

Look at that fender.

It's all bumped out of shape.

You'll pay for this, my good

man. Let me see your number.

32, eh?

You got any insurance?

- What? No, sir.

- Are you insured?

Well, you're just

the fellow I want to see.

I have here an accident policy

that absolutely protects you

no matter what happens.

If you lose a leg,

we'll help you look for it.

And all this will

cost you is, uh...

What have you got there?

A dollar?

$1. Here you are.

Alright, let's go.

Suite 58, and don't go over

20 miles an hour.

Say, was that three fellows

or one fellow with three beards?

Hi, Gottlieb,

always beating around the bush.

- Wait a minute.

Anything I can do?

- Just a little homesick.

- That's funny.

I happen to have with me

the greatest prescription

for homesickness you ever saw.

A fellow gave it to me

just before the boat sailed.

Here's the prescription,

and take it every two hours.

Oh!

I'm going out and getting

another prescription.

- Ah, hello, toots.

- Hello.

Say, pretty classy layout

you got here.

Do you like it?

Ah! Twin beds.

You little rascal, you.

- One of those is a day bed.

- A likely story.

Have you read any

good books lately?

Mr. Driftwood,

will you please get off the bed?

What would people say?

They'd probably say

you're a very lucky woman.

Now, will you please shut up

so I can continue my reading?

No, I will not shut up.

And will you kindly

get up at once?

Alright, I'll go.

I'll make you another

proposition.

Let's go in my room

and talk the situation over.

What situation?

Well, uh, what situations

have you got?

I most certainly will not

go to your room.

Okay.

Then I'll stay here.

Alright, alright, alright!

I'll come, but get out.

Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?

Yes, 10 minutes.

Anything, but go.

Because if you're not

there in 10 minutes,

I'll be back here in 11.

- With squeaky shoes on.

- Oh.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

- This can't be my room.

- Yes, sir.

- Suite number 58, sir.

- 58?

That's an awful big number

for a birdcage this size.

Wouldn't it be simpler if you

just put the stateroom

in the trunk?

Say, who is responsible

for installing me

in this telephone booth?

Mr. Gottlieb picked it

out for you, sir.

Gottlieb, eh? Well, that's

awfully decent of him.

Awfully decent.

Did he pick out the whole room

or just the porthole?

I'm sure you'll

find it very cozy, sir.

Cozy? Cozy is hardly

the word for it.

- Anything else, sir?

- Yes.

Tomorrow you can take the trunk

out and I'll go in.

Yes, sir.

♪ Sing h* for the open highway ♪

♪ Sing h* for the open road ♪

I With the ah-ha-ha

ha-ha ha ha ♪♪

Hello, boss.

What are you doing here?

Hello.

Well, this makes

it a perfect voyage.

I'm terribly sorry, but

l-l thought this was my trunk.

It is your trunk.

I don't remember

packing you boys.

Remember Riccardo Barone,

the greatest tenor in the world?

You nearly signed him up once.

Oh, sure. I just delivered a

letter for you. How are you?

Pretty good. Thanks.

Just a little cramped.

Well, we're still in the harbor.

As soon as we get out

in the open ocean,

there'll be plenty of room.

Say, isn't that my

shirt you've got on?

Hey, look, I don't know.

I found it in the trunk.

Well, then it couldn't be mine.

Well, it's nice seeing you

boys again.

But I was expecting my other

suit.

You didn't happened to see it,

did you?

Yeah. Took up too much room,

so we sold it.

- Did you get anything for it?

- Uh, $1.40.

That's my suit, alright.

Say, it's lucky I left another

shirt in this drawer.

That can't be my shirt.

My shirt doesn't snore.

Shh! Don't wake him up.

He's got insomnia.

He's trying to sleep it off.

That's as grisly a looking

object as I've ever seen.

Well, get him up out of there.

He certainly is sleeping.

Well, I wish you fellows

would explain this thing to me.

Well, it's very simple.

You see, Riccardo,

he's in love with Rosa.

Rosa, she go to New York.

We want to go to New York, too.

But we got no money,

so we hide in the trunk.

Well, if you got no money, what

are you gonna do in New York?

Well, I can sing. There must be

some place for me to work.

Besides, I can be near Rosa.

That's the main thing.

Well, you won't give us away,

will you, Mr. Driftwood?

No, but you fellows

have got to get out of here.

I've got a date with a lady

in a few minutes,

and, uh, you know

the old saying,

"Two's company

and five's a crowd."

We go, but first

we want something to eat.

We no eat all day.

We're hungry.

Well, we'll discuss

the food situation later.

We get food, or we don't go.

I know I never should

have met you fellows.

Alright, but you've

gotta promise

to scram out right

after you've eaten.

- Alright.

- I'll go and get the steward.

And you fellows be quiet.

Remember, you're stowaways.

- We no say nothing.

- Alright.

Now, just, uh...

just put that

bag of Jell-O over here. Huh!

Wouldn't it be simpler

if you just had him stuffed?

He's no olive.

I'll go and get the steward

and...

Say, is it the door of the room

or am I in the trunk?

Oh, over here.

Be quiet, now.

Don't make any noise.

- We no say nothing.

- I'll get the steward.

Steward!

Steward!

- Stew!

- Yes, sir.

- I say, stew...

- Yes, sir.

- What do we got for dinner?

- Anything you like, sir.

You might have some

tomato juice, orange juice,

grape juice,

pineapple juice--

Hey, turn off the juice

before I get electrocuted.

Alright,

let me have one of each.

And, uh, two fried eggs,

two poached eggs,

two scrambled eggs,

and two medium-boiled eggs.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

Make that three

hard-boiled eggs.

And, uh, some roast beef: Rare,

medium, well-done, and overdone.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

Make that three

hard-boiled eggs.

And, uh, eight pieces

of French pastry.

With two hard-boiled eggs.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

Make that three

hard-boiled eggs.

And one duck egg.

Uh, have you got any stewed

prunes?

- Yes, sir.

- Give them some black coffee.

That'll sober them up.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

And two hard-boiled eggs.

It's either foggy out, or make

that 12 more hard-boiled eggs.

And steward, rush that along.

Because, the faster it comes,

the faster this

convention will be over.

Yes, sir.

Do they allow

tipping on the boat?

Oh, yes, sir!

- Have you got two fives?

- Yes, sir.

Well, then you won't need the

10 cents I was gonna give you.

Well, that's fine. If that

steward is deaf and dumb,

he'll never know

you're in here.

- Oh, sure that's alright.

- Yes?

We've come to make up your room.

Are those my hard-boiled eggs?

I can't tell

until they get in the room.

Come in, girls,

and leave all hope behind.

You've gotta work fast because

you've gotta get out

in 10 minutes.

Hey, Tomasso, wake up.

They're going to fix the bed.

Say, I'd like two pillows

on that bed there, huh.

Alright, bring him in.

Say, there's a slight

misunderstanding here.

I said the girls had to work

fast, not your friend.

He's still asleep.

You know, he does better

asleep than I do awake.

Yeah, he always sleeps that way.

Now he's half-asleep.

Yes, he's half-asleep

in a half Nelson.

- Alright, come on.

- Yes?

I'm the engineer.

I'm here to turn off the heat.

Alright, you can start

right in on him.

Wake up, Tomasso.

Tomasso,

we're going to eat soon.

You know,

if it wasn't for Gottlieb,

I wouldn't have got this room.

Just hold him there a second.

- Yes?

- Did you want a manicure?

No. Come on in.

I hadn't planned on a manicure.

But I think on a journey like

this, you ought to have

every convenience you can get.

Hey, listen,

I'm getting the manicure.

Get out of here, will you?

Did you want your nails

long or short?

You better make them short. It's

getting kind of crowded in here.

I don't know. This isn't the way

I pictured an ocean voyage.

I always visualized myself

sitting in a steamer chair,

with a steward

bringing me bouillon.

Come on, Riccardo.

You couldn't get bouillon

in here unless

they brought it in

through a keyhole.

I'm the engineer's assistant.

You know, I had a premonition

you were going to show up.

The engineer's right

over there in the corner.

You can chop your way

right through.

Say, is it my imagination, or

is it getting crowded in here?

Oh, I got plenty of room.

- Yes?

- Is my Aunt Minnie in here?

Well, you can come in

and prowl around if you want to.

If she isn't in here, you can

probably find somebody

just as good.

- Well, could I use your phone?

- Use the phone?

I'll lay you even money

you can't get in the room.

How do you do?

This boat will be in New York

before you get to that phone.

I came to mop up.

Just the woman I'm looking for.

Come right ahead.

You'll have to start

on the ceiling.

It's the only place

that isn't being occupied.

You can clean my shoes

if you want to.

Tell Aunt Minnie to send up

a bigger room too, will you?

- Steward.

- Ah, come right in.

- Hey, Tomasso, the food!

- Steward.

We've been waiting

all afternoon for you.

- I want my Aunt Minnie!

- Here comes the food. Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen...

It is with great pleasure

that I welcome you all

on this, the final night

of the voyage.

I cannot let the evening pass

without paying a little tribute

to our distinguished

guests of honor.

The three greatest aviators

in the world.

Three greatest aviators,

but you notice

they're traveling by boat.

We are honored

by your presence, gentlemen.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, captain.

- Do you rumba?

- Why, yes. Of course I do.

Well, take a rumba

from one to ten.

Mr. Claypool went to his

reward three years ago.

- And left you all alone.

- All alone.

With $8 million.

$8 million.

Listen, Gottlieb,

you're just wasting your time.

If Mrs. Claypool wants to marry

a fortune hunter...

- She's always got me.

- Fortune hunter?

As a matter of fact, you can

hardly call me a fortune hunter.

Because when I first

proposed Mrs. Claypool,

I thought she only

had $7 million.

But the extra million

never interfered

with my feelings for her.

If you had any real feeling for

me, you'd stop associating

with the kinda riffraff I've

seen you going around with.

You mean Gottlieb?

I mean those two uncouth men

I saw you around

the opera house with.

I'm grateful they're

not on board the boat.

- Why, have they slipped off?

- Sit down!

Hey, come on,

we find something to eat.

You think it's safe?

You know, if they catch us,

they'll deport us.

What do we gotta lose? If they

deport us, they gotta feed us.

Come on, we'll take a chance.

Does it mean nothing to you that

I'm the greatest singer

in the world?

But I love to hear you sing,

Rodolfo.

Oh, no, no, no...

Let me put it this way.

I love you.

I adore you.

I would die for you.

- Now, do you understand?

- I'm afraid I don't.

The whole thing is very simple.

When he says he's the greatest

singer in the world,

that means he loves you.

Personally, I don't believe

either statement.

Oh, you...

There may be something

in what you say.

I'll tell you something

confidentially.

The only tenor

I could ever stand

was a fellow by the name of, uh,

Riccardo Barone.

- Ever hear of him?

- Riccardo.

I wonder where he is right now.

Probably roaming

over the countryside someplace.

Riccardo always loved the open.

He never could stand

being cooped up.

He still doesn't like it.

Well, Tomasso,

you feel better now, eh?

And, you, Riccardo,

how do you feel?

After a meal like that? Great.

- Why, I could sing my head off.

- Glad to see you!

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ It's a wonderful word

tra la la la ♪

♪Tra la la la ♪

♪ Cosi cosa

cosi cosa ♪

♪Tra la la la ♪

Hey, stop that! Get away

from those instruments!

- What are you doing here?

- Please let him play.

Let him play.

It's alright with me.

Let him play.

♪ There's an old

Italian phrase ♪

♪ It's an old Italian craze ♪

♪ Every little bambina

learns it the very first day ♪

♪ Every sweet signorina ♪

♪ Says it the very same way ♪

♪ These funny little words

don't really mean a thing ♪

♪ It's just a phrase that

nowadays Italians love to sing ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ It's a wonderful word

tra la la la ♪

I When anyone asks you

how you are ♪

♪ It's proper to say

cosi cosa ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ If a lady should ask you

if you care ♪

♪ You don't have to

start a love affair ♪

♪ Say cosi cosa ♪

♪ Does it mean yes

no ♪

♪ Does it mean no ♪

♪ Well yes and no ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ Get together

and sing tra la la la ♪

♪ It's easy this way so

start today and learn to say ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ Cosi ♪

♪ Cosa ♪

♪ Tra la la la la♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ It's a wonderful word

tra la la la la ♪

♪ If anyone asks you

how you are ♪

♪ It's proper to say

cosi cosa cosi cosa ♪

♪ If a lady should ask

you if you care ♪

♪ You don't have to

start a love affair ♪

♪ Say cosi cosa ♪

♪ Does it mean yes

no ♪

♪ Does it mean no

well yes and no ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ Get together

and sing tra la la la ♪

♪ It's easy this way

so start today ♪

♪ And learn to say cosi cosa ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ So start today and learn

to say cosi cosa ♪

♪ Cosi cosa ♪♪

Those men, they can't be

passengers on this boat.

They must be stowaways.

Stowaways? We'll soon find out.

What are you,

are you crazy?

Ha-ha. You got it. Fine.

Now, you go first

and see if it's safe.

Come on. Oh, no, no.

Out you go.

You're alright, but the

boat's too far away.

What's he doing now?

I think he's hanging himself.

Gentlemen, it gives

me great pleasure to--

Quiet. Gentlemen...

Our distinguished guests

have asked me to represent

them and to act as

their interpreter.

Now, if you all follow me,

I'll take you to their cabin.

And if they're still in it,

very few of us

will come out alive.

Pardon me,

our distinguished guests

are having their shredded wheat.

They'll be right out.

Gentlemen.

"Kind friends.."

Here, give me that.

Let's cut this short.

The whole thing is very simple.

They want you to go City Hall,

and the mayor's gonna

make another speech.

We can tear up the mayor's

speech when we get there.

And, so my friends,

as mayor of this great city

I take pleasure in inviting

our distinguished visitors

to tell us something

about their achievement.

What'll I say?

- Tell them you're not here.

- Suppose they don't believe me?

They'll believe you

when you start talking.

- Friends--

- Talk fast.

I see a man

in the crowd with a rope.

How we happen to come

to America is a great story,

but I no tell that.

When we first started out,

we got no idea

you give us

this grand reception.

We don't deserve it.

And when I say

we don't deserve it

believe me, I know what

I'm talking about. Eh?

That's a novelty.

So, now I tell you how

we fly to America.

The first time when we started,

we get the halfway across

when we run out of gasoline.

And we got to go back.

Then I take twice

as much gasoline.

This time, we were just

about to land, maybe three feet.

When, what do you think,

we run out of gasoline again.

And back we go and get more gas.

This time, I take plenty gas.

Well, we get halfway over,

when, what do

you think happened?

We forgot the airplane.

So, we gotta sit down

and talk it over.

Then I get the great idea!

We no take gasoline.

We no take the airplane.

We take a steamship!

And that, friends, is how

we fly across the ocean.

I'm going out to arrange

your bail.

This is the mayor again.

And now I take great pleasure

in introducing

another of our heroes

who will tell you

something of his exploits.

From now on, it's

every man for himself.

I would suggest you

make your speech

a little more direct

than your brother's.

What will you give me

to set fire to your beard?

Well, we're alright as long as

the water supply holds out.

Please, the radio. Your speech.

You know what, they may have to

build a dam in the back of him.

Hey, I think these

fellas are phonies.

- What's that you say?

- You heard me.

You hear what they say? They

say, they've never been so

insulted in their life and they

absolutely refuses to stay here.

No, no, please.

He didn't mean it.

Tell them he didn't mean it.

Of course, you know

this means w*r.

Now see, what you've done!

I'm sorry. I'm awful sorry.

I apologize, and I

hope you're not offended.

Go on! After him!

After him!

♪ I will still remember ♪♪

What are you singing

about? Read this.

What are you gonna do?

Do?

The first thing I'm gonna do is

throw those two

gorillas out of here.

That goes for you, too.

Thought I got rid of those

mugs when I sold my trunk.

Kiddies! Come on,

everything is piping hot.

Breakfast!

Breakfast!

- Good morning.

- Oh, boy, I'm hungry.

Oh, read that. That will

take away your appetite.

No. That only makes me hungrier.

Come on. You're going

to be late for jail.

Well, those certainly went

like hot cakes.

You know, this isn't the way

I anticipated my breakfast.

I'm certainly getting

enough of you fellas.

- I no like cupcakes.

- No.

I know when I've had enough.

Say, wait a minute,

wait a minute.

That was a two-bit cigar.

I just...

Oh, bad enough I have to smoke

those things

without eating them.

Glad I didn't bring my vest.

I forgot to tell you.

He ate your vest

last night for dessert.

He's half goat.

Yes, and that's giving

him all the best of it.

Thought I had another

cigar on me.

He's going to smell

like a vegetable salad

when he gets through with that.

You know, I've been looking

forward to this breakfast.

I've been waiting all morning.

This is how it wound up.

- Well, I'll take a quart...

- A little of that, anyway.

Why don't you fellows be nice?

Get out of here

before I get arrested.

Nah, I'd like to stay

and see that.

What's that?

If it's a policeman,

knock once more.

- That's good enough for me.

- Get out. Scram.

Get out.

Come in.

Yes?

You remember me. I'm

Henderson, plainclothesman.

You look more like

an old clothes man to me.

- Nice place.

- Well, it's, it's comfortable.

You live here all alone?

Yes. Just me and my memories.

- I'm practically a hermit.

- Hmm, a hermit?

I notice the table

is set for four.

That's nothing. My alarm

clock is set for 8:00.

That doesn't prove a thing.

A wise guy.

Well, I'll take a

little look around.

Look out.

- Hey, you.

- Coming.

What's a hermit doing

with four beds?

Well, you see those first

three beds?

- Yes.

- Last night...

I counted 5,000 sheep

on those three beds.

So I had to have

another bed to sleep.

You wouldn't want me to sleep

with the sheep, would you?

Baa!

Hey You!

- Who're you talking to?

- l was talking to myself.

There's nothing you

can do about it.

I've had three of the

best doctors in the East.

Well, I certainly heard

somebody say something.

Oh, sheer folly on your part.

What's this?

Why, that's a fire escape.

And, uh, that's a table.

And this is a room.

And there's the door leading

out. And I wish you'd use it.

I, I want to be alone.

You'll be alone when

I throw you in jail.

Isn't there a song

like that, Henderson?

Look out. He's

coming around the other way.

Get inside, quick.

If he catc...

I believe, you mean the stretch

at the big house

if he sees you in here.

Don't let him catch you...

- Hey, you!

- Coming.

What became of that fourth bed?

What are you

referring to, colonel?

The last time I was in this

room, there were four beds here.

Please. I'm not interested

in your private life, Henderson.

Oh!

Say...what's that

bed doing here?

I don't see it doing anything.

There's something funny

going on around here.

But I'll get

to the bottom of it.

- Stairs right there.

- Look out!

- Be on your guard.

- Hey, you!

Coming.

Am I crazy, or are

there only two beds here?

Now, which question do you

want me to answer first,

Henderson?

Ahh! Say...

How...how did those

two beds get together?

Well, you know how those things

are. They breed like rabbits.

Let me tell you something.

I'll solve this if I have

to stay here all night.

Let me tell you something,

if you are gonna stay

here all night, you're gonna

have to bring your own bed.

- One bed!

- One bed?

What are you talking about?

Now they're all gone.

I know I am crazy.

Ah!

I beg your pardon,

I must be in the wrong room.

♪ I'm gone ♪

♪ As long... ♪

♪ As long as I find you ♪

Riccardo!

♪ In every dream ♪♪

Oh, you thought you could come

to America without me, huh?

Oh, you fool.

You dear, dear fool.

Because I'm in love with you,

you call me a fool.

Well, there may be

something in that.

- But what are you doing here?

- Easiest thing in the world.

An open window,

a detective, and here I am.

Oh, Riccardo,

you shouldn't have.

They'll...they'll only

send you back again.

Perhaps even put you in jail.

Well, I don't care, darling.

It's worth it.

Suppose, suppose

I go to Mr. Gottlieb.

Maybe he'd intercede for you.

Oh, Gottlieb couldn't do

anything.

Besides, Lassparri's

got to him first.

But there must be

something we can do.

- Who is it?

- It is I. Rodolfo.

Come in.

Do you mind my dropping down?

No. No, of course not.

Only, um, I was just going

to take a nap.

Rosa, why did you do this to me?

Do what, Rodolfo?

Whenever I want to see you,

you make some excuse.

You will not dine with me,

you will not ride with me,

you won't even take

a walk with me.

But, Rodolfo, you...

you know how busy I am.

My debut in America.

Well, have you forgotten

that it was I

who...brought about

your debut in America?

No, no, I haven't forgotten.

Then why do you

treat me this way?

Rodolfo, I must

ask you to leave.

Oh, come now, my dear.

Be sensible.

If you ask me, I think she's

being very sensible.

Barone.

Well...now I understand.

You did not tell me you

had a previous engagement.

- Well, now you know it.

- And I apologize.

And now, permit me to withdraw.

In a boudoir, two are

company, three a crowd.

- Just what do you mean by that?

- Please, Riccardo.

Surely I have made

my meaning clear.

Riccardo!

You have not heard

the end of this.

- I'm sure I haven't.

- You may be very sure.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Driftwood.

- Good afternoon, Tim.

- Ready for the opening tonight?

- Am I?

That's alright, boys.

I was young myself once.

Thank you.

Good morning,

Mr. Driftwood.

How are all my songbirds?

Fine! Fine!

Splendid. Sing well

tonight, now.

Waiting for you, Mr. Driftwood.

Step right in.

Thank you, Otto.

- Nice day, isn't it?

- It has its points.

- Here you are, sir.

- Thank you, Otto.

That's alright, Mr. Driftwood.

What's all this?

What's going on here?

You mean, what's

coming off here?

- You can't do that.

- Wanna bet?

But that's my office.

I'm taking orders

from Mr. Gottlieb.

Go see him about it.

I'll go see Mr. Gottlieb

and I'll break you,

my fine fellow.

Go see Mr. Gottlieb.

What's the meaning of this?

If you think that

I'm going to, uh...

Well, I think, if you're

busy, I'll return later.

Just a minute, Mr. Driftwood.

We have some news for you.

News? For me?

Mrs. Claypool has decided

to dispense with your

services immediately.

Dispense with my services?

Why, she hasn't even had them.

I warned you, Mr. Driftwood,

if you continued to associate

with those men,

everything would be

over between us.

And you've been

associating with them.

How do you know?

You couldn't find them.

You've disgraced me,

and the entire Opera Company.

So, as Mrs. Claypool's

new business manager

I must request you

to get out and stay out.

Just a minute. Just a minute.

You can't fire me

without two weeks salary.

That's in section

10-A of my contract.

I find that you have overdrawn

your salary for the

next six months.

Well, in that case,

I'll take one week's salary.

You'll take nothing. Get out.

Well, if that's your best

offer, I'll get out,

but I'm not making

a nickel on it.

And as for you, Mrs. Claypool,

I withdraw my offer of marriage.

And that goes for you, too.

The thanks I get for working

my fingers to the bone.

- Alright, Otto.

- Just a minute.

This car is for officials.

Take the stairs.

- The stairs?

- Yeah.

Why, that's four flights.

I can't walk

all that distance.

Alright. I'll help you.

Now, there's room.

Well, that's all I needed.

I'm certainly glad

I met you boys.

First you get me

kicked out of job,

then you get me thrown

out of my hotel,

and finally you push

me off a park bench.

Well, there's one consolation.

Nothing more can happen to me.

Hey! Get off of the grass.

Well, I was wrong.

People drink too much

water, anyhow.

I'm certainly glad

you came along.

The day you boys

came in to my life,

I had a good job and was

about to marry a rich widow.

Now, I can't even

sit on the grass.

I'd give you my seat,

but I'm sitting here.

Well, that's an offer.

I tell ya, I'd like to think

it over for a couple of days.

Where can I find you?

Don't worry. Wherever

you are, you'll find us.

Oh, I'm sick of that.

Let's meet somewhere else.

It's Rosa!

Rosa!

Well, at least I can

get my bench back.

Don't feel so badly, Riccardo.

Well, I can't feel very cheerful

about being

such a hoodoo to you.

We all make things bad for you.

- What's the matter?

- Hey.

What do you think, eh?

Lassparri.

- He's get Rosa fired.

- Lassparri?

Yes, he won't let her sing

tonight.

Well, what do you know

about that?

Well, we still all day

to think of some plan.

And believe me,

the way I think,

I think it's gonna take all day.

- Good evening, Tim.

- Good evening, Mr. Gottlieb

Plenty for you tonight.

- Thank you, thank you.

- You're welcome, sir.

What does this mean?

Ah, just the man I want to see.

Gottlieb, these are the

worst cigars I ever smoked.

Yes, and your ice isn't

cold enough, either.

Get out of here, all of you.

I shall send for the police.

Just a minute, Gottlieb.

I'll tell you

what we came here for.

Yeah.

We make you a proposition.

Oh, so you're willing

to give yourselves up, are you?

Yes, if you let Rosa sing.

Well, I'm managing director,

and Rosa does not sing.

But the rest

of your proposition,

giving yourselves up,

that rather appeals to me.

Give me police headquarters.

Sergeant Henderson, please.

- Hello, tools.

- Well...

What are you doing here?

This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.

He couldn't come,

so he gave me his ticket.

And he couldn't get dressed,

so he gave me his clothes.

What?

Hey. Hey!

Hey shorty, will you

toss up that kelly?

Atta boy. Here. Here.

Get yourself a stogy.

Well, who's ahead?

Open the door.

Get me police headquarters.

- Mrs. Claypool?

- Yes.

Have you seen Mr. Gottlieb?

Why, no. Isn't he backstage?

He's disappeared.

We can't find him anywhere.

You didn't look

in the right place.

But the speech.

He was to make a speech

before the curtain went up.

Oh, dear! What to do?

That's the cue.

You'd better say something.

But I never made

a speech in my life.

- Alright, I'll take care of it.

- You?

Uh, ladies and gentlemen!

I guess that takes

in most of you.

This is the opening

of a new opera season.

A season made

possible by the

generous checks

of Mrs. Claypool.

I'm sure the familiar

strains of Verdi's music

will come back to you tonight.

And Mrs. Claypool's checks

will probably come

back in the morning.

Tonight marks the American

debut of Rodolfo Lassparri.

Signor Lassparri comes

from a very famous family.

His mother was a

well known bass singer.

And his father was the

first man to stuff

spaghetti with

bicarbonate of soda.

Thus causing and curing

indigestion at the same time.

And now, on with the opera.

Let joy be unconfined.

Let there be dancing

in the streets,

drinking in the saloons,

and necking in the parlor.

Play, Don.

I'll take this side.

It's none of my

business, but I think

there's a brace of woodpeckers

in the orchestra.

Don't give up, boys.

The cavalry is coming.

- Aha!

- Mr. Gottlieb.

- I'll see you later.

- What are you doing?

It's alright.

It's just the Tarzan in me.

That Schweinehund.

Peanuts! Peanuts! Get your

fresh roasted peanuts, folks!

They're nice and hot!

Get your peanuts!

Here you are, peanuts!

Ah, peanuts, peanuts!

Ahh! There you are!

You...

What are you laughing at?

- Those clothes don't fit you.

- Why you--

Hey, you're getting to be

a good shot, Tomasso.

The opera starts.

Now we really go to work.

The curtain's up.

- They've started.

- Now, don't worry.

Someone open

the door here!

Let me out of here!

Herr Gottlieb.

Where are they?

Where did they go?

- What?

- "What?" he asks me.

Did a couple of men

come up here?

- What?

- "What?" All I get is "what?"

Boogie, boogie, boogie.

How would you like to feel

the way she looks?

That is Driftwood's voice.

I want him put out

of the opera house!

Yes, sir.

That's right.

You go talk to him.

We know he's in the

audience someplace.

- Where's Mr. Gottlieb?

- The other side of the stage.

Come on, boys.

What was that?

High "C" or vitamin "D"?

Driftwood!

What's the matter?

What happened here?

Mr. Gottlieb!

Here, give me a hand.

Where are those men?

Did you catch them?

No, sir. I'm sorry.

T-- they're still out there.

Still out there?

I have an idea. Get me

two gypsy costumes at once.

Now we're getting somewhere.

I will not sing unless

they are put off there.

Yes, sir.

A battleship in Il Trovatore!

Stop! Don't you do...

Herr Gottlieb! Lassparri,

he's disappeared.

What?

- Then we haven't even a tenor.

- Mr. Gottlieb.

- You are Barone.

- That's who I am.

Get into a costume quickly.

- What?

- I want you to sing...

Riccardo!

But I have no reputation,

Mr. Gottlieb.

Besides, I couldn't sing

with a strange Leonora.

You see, I've been rehearsing

with Miss Castaldi.

- So that's it.

- That's it exactly.

Alright. Get them two

costumes at once. Quick.

- Darling.

- Please, please.

After the opera.

Please, go ahead. Get ready.

Hey, you hear that?

That's real singing.

What? Get off!

- Huh, so...

- Is this the opera house?

Arrest those men,

and this one, too!

It's about time.

Lassparri, where have you been?

Been? Do you know

what they did to me?

I'll sing them an encore

that they'll never forget.

Never in my life have I

received such treatment.

They threw an apple at me.

Well, watermelons

are out of season.

Oh!

Rosa, Barone,

get out there quick.

No, no. I'm under

arrest, Mr. Gottlieb.

What's that?

If they're arrested,

I ought to be, too.

I can't sing if I'm arrested.

Oh, you! You!

- What do we do?

- We must have them.

They'll save the entire season.

- Well, what is it you want?

- Well, In

Just a minute.

Let me handle this.

Alright! Only, quick, quick!

What do you want?

First, call off that police dog.

- Huh?

- Alright, anything, anything.

Just a minute.

These men are in this country

under false pretenses,

and I'm going to do my duty.

I'll be responsible for them.

Besides, they came over

here with Mr. Driftwood.

Mr. Driftwood is an employee

of the Opera Company.

- Since when?

- Since Barone started singing.

Wait till I get a hold

of guy that runs elevator.

Alright, anything. Please,

go out and sing, please.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Please.

Before he sings,

you gotta sign a contract,

and I get 10 percent.

Yes, and I get 10 percent, too.

Now, where were we?

"The party of the 10th part--"

- No! No.

- No?

"The party of the 11th part--"

- No! No.

- No?