01x05 - Sea Cucumber

[bunniefuu]

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the adventures of hiram holiday

based on stories by paul gallico

starring wally cox

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we're checking in for the flight to hong

kong we're together

flight 32

it hasn't left in a few minutes mr smith

and mr holliday

just have a seat please

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well in three hours we'll be in hong

kong

say joel we're we're season travelers by

now you ever wish you were back in new

york proofreading aaron not really do

you

i mean wish you were back working as a

reporter

if i goof one more story it could be any

day now

harum if anything happens in hong kong

would you let me know please just let me

know say i may just have something for

you a long search that may come to an

end for solas

a rare form of sea cucumber

that could make quite a scoop don't you

think i'll cable princess to hold the

front page

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flight 32 for hong kong is now boarding

at gate 4.

your ticket please

[Applause]

gate four mr notches

have a pleasant flight

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hong kong 4768

hello

this is your friend

there are three accidentals only on

flight 32.

you should encounter no difficulty in

picking out your man

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[Applause]

this plan is complete

you will weigh anchor on your junk

tomorrow at 12 noon precisely it's a

ship camel ships that looks like a chunk

says just one more item

what

you'll be carrying a passenger

no passengers

a passenger who will leave with you but

you will not arrive at your destination

clear

m*rder was not in the bargain

no

you would rather you attach the little

device to the bottom of your chunk which

would prove disastrous to your other

expl*sive cargo gamers the other side is

far out about the arms

they have sent a man my information is

that he arrives this afternoon on flight

32 we will be there to meet him

you wang

not tasha then we bring him to you

captain you will know him gamer so only

three occidentals on the plane from sam

i cannot pick the captain's future

passenger but a mistake could cost our

lives

there will be no mistakes

for your part you will bring your own

rather obvious assets for my part i will

contribute what i can

points

success

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go

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thank you

i assume that you were sent by the

chamber of commerce

i'd like you to meet my friend joel

smith who would also appreciate your how

dare you

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welcome my

up your beloved

if nothing happened

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what do you make of that

i believe we have reached the mysterious

orient

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[Applause]

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thank you mr

[Applause]

enough enough

we have our man and we have the suitcase

no thanks to you be careful with that

you would prefer to leave the room as i

open it i work yes stay where you are

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i was not born yesterday nor do i die

today

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no hidden detonators

now

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what's up

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that anyone else but gamble i would say

mistake had been made

faked

it was one of the two americans

a man was more clever than i had thought

what about your mistake

now he knows too much

now you will have two passengers captain

why

now we go to find the american

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hurry it up haram i found a great place

where we're going to eat dinner the uh

cafe of the seven lotus blossoms

a room service is not so good

well i am anxious to take up my quest

for the sea cucumber they might just

have them at this place where we're

going

oh i hardly think so joe

although the tree pang is highly

esteemed by the chinese gourmet the

species solace fitbit is very seldom

taken in me

please i cut myself

never say a pooper for a while shaving

where's your styptic pencil in my bag

joel

i'll keep my finger on the nearest

pressure point

you do that

[Applause]

where'd you get these crazy slippers

never mind where's the styptic

pencil it's in a little box right near

the top

i got the box but how do you open it

just press the little button joel

it must be stuck

sometimes i have to shake it

i can't get it open but i got it ticking

ticking

i don't wish to alarm you joel but you

have just activated a b*mb

a b*mb

there i disarmed it why are you carrying

things like that around your suitcase i

don't know but it doesn't seem to be my

suitcase

see they're magnetic so as to adhere to

the hull of a ship will you please stop

playing with them oh they're quite

harmless unless they're activated we'll

put the things back in a suitcase

developed by a british commando the late

a.e millhouser

what happened to milhauser

they never found him

hey i must have received the wrong bag

at the airport and we'll get dressed

quick we're going to take these to the

authorities right now

even before you have dinner

look for once i'm on the trail of a

story and i'm going to get

i believe you will george could i just

borrow a pair of clean socks

say it's our man

and this time no bungling

i see him

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darling welcome to hong kong

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oh thank you again

grandpa and i should introduce myself my

name

is dare you cost me peasant

darling welcome to hong kong

i don't really mind see it's my best

friend

will you come with us quietly

i'll go upstairs and get the suitcase

take him away

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welcome to the cafe of the seven lotus

blossoms thank you the gentleman is

alone well

i'm halfway expecting a friend uh mr

joel smith

uh american

perhaps you will have a table while

waiting for mr smith thank you uh no

i'll just carry this

thank you

[Applause]

good

no one followed you here no

see how the room went

[Applause]

there will not be anymore

a few extra pounds will sink your

staunch vessel perhaps you can find a

better one if i had time yes

your craft is known swallowed the

eastern oceans as the sea going cucumber

natasha your place is in the cafe go of

course

no

i will not come too close if i were you

i don't understand something gone wrong

don't you see see what all the time it

was a small american so one with the

glass is the umbrella

now before he finds our ship we must

find him

go

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[Applause]

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to be surrounded by such people

natasha you a chinese who speaks with a

french accent i thought my disguise was

quite good

it is miserable

it's a small american we look no further

get natasha

here she comes

well i suppose she'll want to kiss me

again

[Laughter]

well i guess i don't understand

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once a day you are kissing him and now

you slap him why not why not why not he

is a man what happened to our other men

never mind this is the one just american

but i saw let me do the sinking

now you will dance with him

then you will lead him over to support

jails behind someone will be waiting

i understand and take no chances this is

the most dangerous man into orient

you sure this is our man

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what does natasha have in mind you

oh

won't you sit down

you're already sitting here

i did want to ask you about joel smith

the tall american who left the hotel

with you you did not appeal to me

i dropped him

i see

you don't have to remember where no

i'm only concerned with you really

i want to know all

about you

that's very flattering

but uh

it's not like joel to wander off like

this what do you do in hong kong

i'm a small american

well actually i'm looking for a certain

sea cucumber

then i shall help you really

i didn't think you were interested in

such things

but first we dance

well i'd like to but i i feel i should

look for my friend to be dance

of course

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[Applause]

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this

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[Applause]

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yeah that was fun

the uh classic symptoms are those of a

typhus outbreak

patients drink too much

i want to be alone with you uh this time

i must refuse i believe the police

should be notified about joe

i just remembered

i can take you to him

this way

[Applause]

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your friend isn't there

i'm not sure that i entirely believe you

i wish to join him

enter

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come in

come in

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searching ahead

as we dance

and he carries no weapon

a bold man

thank you

and now

where is your suitcase my good fellow

i should very much like to know i shall

need a change of socks

oh i doubt that you will

the suitcase american

it makes no difference

this one will have no chance to use the

bombs i shall bind and gargle

no no

he is too dangerous to treat us we have

done the others for him

the end must come more swiftly

just one question

you do have my friend mr joel smith oh

yes yes yes he sails tomorrow at noon

and the ship whose cargo will ignite the

powder keg of the island

your friend will not be finishing

sachani

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excuse mike

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my suitcase please

oh

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oh

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oh

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today

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[Applause]

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dawn

soon they will come back and things will

happen

we still got a chance

what chance

my friend this is one of the most

dangerous ships that sails the seas

if its cargo reaches its destination i

know

i was the one man who could have stopped

it

i failed

so we both pay with our knives

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i still say we got a chance

harim holiday's got the bombs

he is a demolition expert

a frog man who can swim out into the

hong kong harbor without being seen

a bird dog that can smell out this ship

above all others he not only can he will

he'll blow this ship five thousand miles

high

let us that is a chance

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listen

you hear it

yes what

there is only one sound in the world

like that

your friend is attaching his bombs to

the hull of the ship

i am

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not

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those are set to go off in five minutes

what am i gonna do i'll take my chances

in the water

i can't swim with my hands and feet

tight perhaps you would better learn

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[Applause]

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you have preserved the peace of the

world my friend

but what happened

nothing

another word of this must ever reach

print

why

the biggest story of my career i

uncovered it the diplomatic consequences

my friend might be far more serious than

that expl*si*n

another word eh

hey hiram i can't print it

don't worry joel you found

at pepper

what look a rare sea cucumber

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i don't get it the biggest story of the

year of the decade and i can't write a

word of it

oh well

oh well is that all you can say

perhaps it's all for the best perhaps

it's all for the best an international

ring of g*n runners rounded up an

expl*si*n that rocks hong kong prince

back home shouting his head off for copy

and i can't send him a word

well i do not favor suppression of the

news i think in this case we should be

duly grateful

grateful

why why

i just got a copy of the local fish and

game laws and it seems that we've caught

solas after entirely out of season

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i do not understand him at all

[Applause]

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so

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you