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01x08 - Hawaiian Hamzah

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Hiram Holliday". Aired: October 3, 1956 – February 27, 1957.*
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Series is similar to the book, and focuses on the adventures of a newspaper proofreader who through years of secret practice has gained James Bond-like skills in many forms of physical combat, sh**ting, and in activities as diverse as rock climbing and scuba diving.

01x08 - Hawaiian Hamzah

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

yellow pudding and pie filling the

delicious dessert that never stops being

different presents

the adventures of hiram holiday

[Music]

based on stories by paul gallico

starring wally cox

[Music]

[Applause]

hey this is interesting

the hawaiian equivalent yo

joe

the hawaiian equivalent of our word

across can only be expressed us

oh

i find him a most stimulating author who

professor henry p codd the definitive

authority on the language of the islands

he's been most helpful in my search for

the elusive hamza

hamza

yes it's a language sign representing

the hawaiian lost consonant first cousin

to a k most authorities believe

was consonant

it's written so

inverted reversed comma

haram we've been a whole week in

beautiful hawaii matchless playground of

the pacific and what have you done the

whole week read henry p codd and looked

for hamzas but

without the lost consonant expresses a

glottal stop

the ancient hawaiian chants would lack

not only charm but authenticity look

forget the glottal stops

look around

live a little

live

[Music]

that is excellent advice and i'm going

to follow it where you going

to have lunch with professor codd

polly and baked hamza i believe

[Music]

yes i can see you did

where's hyrum holiday

he left just a minute ago mr prentice

is it or is it not your job to follow

him wherever he goes

he's just not looking for lost

consonants

i see

really yes

now you listen to me smith that's mr i

can see what's been going on here

on my money but that's not the reason

i'm here no no

there's a story here in hawaii the

signing of the pacific mutual assistance

bank at pearl harbor tomorrow

and we need a capable man to cover it

i'll do my best mr prentice

we need a capable man to cover it so i'm

doing it myself

you're taking the plane at midnight back

to the states back to the states

i assigned you to get the story of hiram

holiday because i thought you were

hard-working sober but i was wrong

you've turned into a lotus eater but

best apprentice stories i haven't seen

anything but bar bills and restaurant

checks from every corner of the globe

now back to the state smith

back to work

[Music]

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[Music]

oh hello joel

say i just had the most exciting lunch

with professor cod you should have been

there yeah i should have been say i

believe you're on the wrong line these

people are checking out

so am i prince is here he's sending me

back to the states

really

i better go up and pack

not you me

he says i've turned into a lotus eater

but joel he can't break up the old team

perhaps if i talk to him i'll save your

breath harem anyway he's off covering

the treaty signing that takes place

tomorrow i find this mostly

excuse me

say isn't that fellow familiar

not particularly no

i'm sure i've seen him somewhere before

istanbul

look harm relax my plane leaves at

midnight so let's just enjoy ourselves

till then i've covered my last adventure

of harem holiday joel stuffing nonsense

[Music]

planet

now

you were not followed kovach i'm not

another child i wasn't followed you have

it

i have it well

[Applause]

[Music]

so

yes

that is all

yes

that is all

and that makes the h bombas

that's obsolete

longbow

that

that

climatic warfare mighty moana

as h-b*mb sets the air fire

that reacts with the water

journey on contact into solid ice

and a glass of water click

[Applause]

every minute you are with me

no

yes

[Applause]

yes

[Applause]

you have done well

moana will give it to the american envoy

tonight at the luau

and tomorrow he will sign the treaty of

warship and hurl the pen into the sea

transforming all pearl harbor into solid

ice

imprisoning

the entire american fleet

[Music]

look at him

who's your

apprentice

feeding his big fat face

came here to cover the treaty signing he

says

he came here to eat

joel

i shouldn't let bitter thoughts of mr

prentice spoil our final evening

you're

right pass me the low melomi

okey dokey

look at him

apple polisher

how did you leave things in washington

mr duncan

all quiet on the hill apprentice

the chief of course is depending on this

treaty to ease things in the pacific

well you and the administration have the

full support of my paper

i'm covering the signing myself you know

ought to be quite a show

i understand i'm to be presented with a

ceremonial pen tonight well

is there um is there any truth in the

rumor that a foreign power might try to

block the signing

i think prince that uh our people will

be able to take the necessary

precautions yes of course mr duncan of

course

[Music]

they are there kovach

yes

the smug american duncan and this party

you know your part of course

the pen when the time comes not soon

welcome welcome friends and

distinguished guests

we bring you moana to tell you with her

hands and her body

a story for just this occasion

moana

[Music]

[Applause]

don't you think it's about time to leave

joe

i got time

you know best job

far from the east we have come in our

long canoes

in friendship

in peace

in love

many days we have traveled to meet with

our holy brothers the great chiefs of

the west

from the sea

we bring the writing stick

which shall speak but once

in friendship

in peace in love

and then return to the god of the sea

so

[Music]

this

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

seems to have got something

[Music]

what's going on here harem why was he

trying to get the pen why was he k*lled

i don't know joel but the writing stick

apparently does not carry a lifetime

guarantee

[Music]

he does not carry the pen

he must have it where is it

he is here

he has the pen

for that

it was his fine and oh i should have

known

well get him

the small american with her glasses

he will come

they say he has an achilles heel women

you get him

look harm i think we better get out of

here and go to the police we could miss

your plane forget about the plane it's

been a m*rder*r

what's the matter

uh i believe i'm being

wait paged minute it may be a trap

you may be right joel i better be on the

safe side you keep the pen

he come good

hello mr prentice uh a lady wants to see

me

[Music]

hello are they

one of my best men

hiram holiday a rock of dependability

well there you are so we finally meet

hiram holiday pleased to meet you

i have not much time the pen

don't fence give me the pen

i'm unable to comply and you have

crossed my pass for the first and last

time hire on holiday

not here kovach

you're right andre strip him until you

find the pen you couldn't take my word

for it i don't have it

you keep watch outside

thank you

in the peaceful islands w*r is but a

distant memory of a day gone by

remembered only today in the ceremony of

the dance of the spears audrey you're

cute

he dies quietly with your spear

[Music]

that is one of your best men

oh well this a bit eccentric brother

knows the news

[Music]

good hunting

[Music]

run

oh he's trying to

mr prentice i quit

[Music]

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different

it's a pudding

it's a pie

it's jello pudding and pie filling the

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creation

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serving beat slowly to make it extra

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[Applause]

to walk the streets in daylight yes

after last night see police i think like

ants

oh

well

how do we get the pen let me go after

ollie day

it's much too dangerous to be taken

frontally as you should know andre

how then

we'll let the police do our work

i've dispatched a rather secret

documents to mr holiday

a map of the pearl harbor minefields

what

i've also informed the police where to

find mr holiday and the document

after he's taken to custody we simply

search his room

and pick up the pen

if he has it on him

the police will find it and the eternity

to its rightful owner the american and

boy

this will work coverage

yeah but

to wait

hey i find this most curious job what

since a man was k*lled for it some

special significance must be attached to

it but what

look don't worry about the pen worry

about me

not only did i miss my plane i got fired

oh i'm sure mr p*nis will have changed

his mind by now joel i find him stern

but just

holiday oh good morning mr prentice

holiday i want to know what you were

doing last night uh mr p*nis you

remember joel joel smith i'm trying to

forget him

what was that performance at the luau

that was concerning this oh you have it

well return it the signing takes place

today at noon

doesn't even write very well

excuse me i'll moisten it

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

well now

solid ice

well how did that happen

gentlemen i think we are in possession

of a secret weapon or you must get it to

the police right now

a wise course

but my first duty is to this diadon

antonitus or pygmy blowfish the kitchen

stove will soon restore him little the

worst for wear

but this is no time for thawing our

blowfish

mr apprentice i could never forgive

myself if i became the first man ever to

employ climatic warfare even on a fish

[Music]

that's the holiday yeah i'll take it

i'll take it

look missed apprentice i don't think i

know you

you're under arrest what come with us

honolulu police why this is an

outrageous

i'm a harrison apprentice and a

publisher of the new york chronicle

smith tell these men who i am

i never saw this man before in my

[Music]

life come in hiram holiday thank you

i have been waiting for you

[Music]

well i'm glad you found something to do

the management's happening it's time for

your hula lesson a new service for all

gifts oh that's very considerate

last night i had a free lesson in the

spear dance oh i had nothing to do with

that believe me

[Music]

yeah

i suppose the word i'm searching for is

no

i may get my umbrella wait

you cannot hula with an umbrella oh i

have no intention of doing the hula

that's hot i see you've lost my umbrella

i feel you will find it

and soon

[Music]

[Applause]

hiram

hiram you in there

aaron what are you doing i've been

waiting down there for over an hour here

you are sitting on the floor i met me

the concert help me up

what happened

i've paid the usual price of folly oh

you still got the pen

unfortunately no

what time is it around 11.

and the signing takes place at noon you

mean

we got to stop it we got to get to the

police

joel if you're a policeman would you

believe that a fountain pen could freeze

pearl harbor no

what are we gonna do

i think we shall have to go to hickam

field

oh you mean go out to the carrier on a

plane well the air force wouldn't

believe us either i don't intend to tell

them

you're gonna steal the plane dire

circumstances joel call for dire

measures however

i vastly prefer the term borrow shall we

go

[Music]

admiral we're ready for the signing

what's holding us up we had a radio

report mr duncan a military plane was

stolen from hickam field what's that to

do with us

mr duncan the plane is heading this way

but the craft is armed have given orders

to all g*ns to fire on site

[Music]

yes i'm watching the flight of migrating

robins

[Music]

[Music]

hello down there hello this is hiram

holiday up here i'm sorry to be a father

but i'd like to land a stolen flame

what are you waiting for sh**t him down

give all g*ns radio contact established

sir pilot identifies himself as hiram

holiday requests permission to land

oh he's a reporter the one that did that

spirit dance shall we sh**t

no no

it's election year

grant permission to

[Music]

land this thing

[Music]

i'm quite sure that you're right but i'm

definitely going to try

[Music]

are they alive

unfortunately yes

[Music]

how do you do

i don't believe i quite made it how they

are having you put in irons where i

trust you'll spend the rest of your

natural life have you anything to say

yes do you still have the pen

well yes

good

you will not believe this except my

demonstration excuse me

joel

stop that

[Music]

[Applause]

ice

sorry nice

it could have made pearl harbor into a

skating rink

it's incredible

mr holiday

on behalf of the united states and the

civilized world thank you

what can we ever do to repay you could i

borrow drive pair of trousers

[Music]

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sank a coffee

how about it

but why why won't anybody tell me

anything why military secrets mr venice

military sacrifice that's all i hear

the government practically orders me to

take you back and to let you in holiday

do whatever you want they practically

ordered me hey that was nice of them

but what happened

all anybody will say is secret weapon

what secret weapon i don't want to know

everything just an inkling

say joel did i tell you professor codd's

very interesting side light on the

hawaiian hamza

no what

i want hamza

you don't tell me anymore that's all i

want to know name's enough of oil and

hamsa oh thank you thank you

[Music]

the adventures of hiram holiday starring

wally cox has been presented for your

pleasure by

jello pudding and pie filling the

delicious dessert that never stops being

different

buy some

[Music]