02x02 - The Green-eyed Monster

[bunniefuu]

travel two light years to your next

planet

pass space nebula

i believe we got a problem i should say

so

[Applause]

i'd say our navigational system is a

virus uh

bless you thank you

that's the alarm balance stations

everyone

[Music]

[Music]

jason's room is bigger than mine

let's sing a little song with eight

little words but a rocket ship

and flightless birds

[Music]

vigil

kevin

three two

[Music]

one

[Music]

[Music]

see my room is .05 meters smaller than

jason's so i've got the bigger room

at home i don't even have my own room

cool

it's not cool i've got a problem here

and we'll look into it as soon as we fix

our navigation system

[Music]

how are we supposed to get anywhere

without a navigational system

wait i know we'll use the star captain

you failed astronomy at the academy

how about a map

[Music]

uh seems i've forgotten the exact

address

why don't you guys find it i've got

captain stuff to do

[Music]

let's see uh here it is l7

bingo uh set our cars for

l7 um i believe you have to fold it here

[Applause]

we'll just get to this later

hello the usual

bad day you said it i've got a very

serious

problem and no one's even paying

attention to me i'm listening

jason's room is bigger than mine oh this

time i thought i had the bigger room

but no ah so you've been attacked by the

green eyed monster

what envy it's when you resent someone

because they have something you want

i don't want what he has i just think

things should be fair

that's all well as your old pal saul

says

a tranquil heart is good for the body

but envy

rots the bones

you know i never understand anything you

say

i know we're done michelle finish up so

we can get back on the ship

what are we gonna do with all that

peanut butter

bless you attention ufps rockhopper

come in rockhopper we're here commander

strap

quite right have an assignment for you

there's a territorial dispute on planet

picket

need you to dash over there and make

things right this is no

milk run men tensions are running high

on planet picket

good fences do not make good neighbors

your assignment is no less than

preventing all-out w*r

[Music]

did i say something funny no sir it's

just

i don't see what's so funny i just told

you tensions are high

let's put a stop to it planet picket is

no picnic i can promise you that

what on earth is going on there captain

is there something i should know

not at all sir we're on our way

commander excellent

you're just the crew for this job

trustworthy

loyal helpful friendly courteous kind

obedient cheerful thrifty brave clean

and reverent

[Laughter]

[Music]

i'll set the coordinates prepare for

landing

wow that landing was a lot smoother than

normal good job man

hmm that's not going to come up

all right a delegation from this planet

should be here in two shakes of a lamb's

tail

you want me to talk to them thank you

the population here needs someone they

can look up to and respect

while the doctor and mitchell helped

navi get better we three will take care

of the planet problem

thank you for the snack let's get going

then

oh hello and you are i

am ba arthos supreme leader of the

planet

pickett i'm captain sigil of the

federation

i'm here to help you in your time of

need can someone

get this off me

anyway on behalf of the federation let

me say it's very nice to meet

you you get it e-w-e

[Music]

you get it e-w-e you like a female sheep

yeah is there someone else we can talk

to

nope it's him or nobody

you

[Music]

say i was wondering do you have some

kind of transporter beam

thingy i could use might we ask why okay

here's my plan we transport everything

from jason's room to my room

and everything from my room to his

switched nameplates too

they'll never know the difference but

would that be fair dearie

it would be fair for me

my sentiments exactly

all right

[Music]

hold me excuse me excuse me

sorry excuse me

country sheep lend me your shears

for today we face the gravest problem

our planet has encountered

since the invention of wool sweaters

here on planet picket the grass always

seems greener

on the other side of the fence

fine if no one will help me i'll do it

myself

six spots move everything out of here

and

over to jason's room

[Music]

someone's attacking your socks no i mean

yes i mean

just look

[Music]

and so in closing i can only call upon

our better natures that we can put this

[Music]

[Laughter]

oh sorry about that it's just they've

got a problem over with the

it's a monster tiny thing really kevin

go help them

excuse me excuse me excuse me

[Music]

oh it's me well as i see it

you've got a couple of options here

uh and to explain what those options are

i've brought in an expert in

interstellar relations

jason what me oh well

hello yes my expert opinion is that you

could

you should switch sides

that way you can see if the grass really

is greener on the other side of the

fence

each side why that's brilliant

all those in favor of switching sides

say

[Music]

so move everyone switch

[Music]

don't know why but suddenly i'm very

sleepy

[Music]

doing my best

now that we have all switched sides is

everyone satisfied

let's say you mr

leader we are most not satisfied

and why not their grass is still the

reader

[Applause]

there he goes stop him

about enough of this

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

fire in the hole

[Applause]

how can their grasp be greener you were

just there

i'm telling you it's exactly the same

telling you grass's grass is grass

good thing they're nothing like us huh

jason actually captain

i'm not so sure

got him thank goodness can i keep him

as what a pet a pet

nice kitty ah i guess

just make sure he doesn't get out and

let the captain know that it's all

under control here

[Applause]

no worries jason everything's fine back

at the ship

you're under attack run for your life

another monster no problem i'll take

care of it

[Music]

what what time is it oh sheep really put

me to sleep captain

we have to do something why i just woke

up

i need to brush my teeth comb my hair

and faint

[Music]

hey guys we need help out here what's

wrong jason

am i that's a big one where are they

coming from

jason where's the captain

[Music]

not good form jason you've been attacked

by the green eyed monster

where have i heard that before whatever

you do

don't lead it back here exactly we don't

have a glass jar big enough to hold that

[Applause]

hey guys watch out that thing is hungry

right straight away boys

[Music]

well this is a fine kettle of fallubian

friars how are we supposed to fly around

the galaxy saving people if we're stuck

sitting on this

[Music]

don't worry captain he's trapped that's

right

you're trapped by my crew under my

command

excellent leadership skills let's go men

sorry captain we can't that's

insubordination that's mutiny

captain if we get up he gets out

hmm good point what happened here well

let's see

we showed up tried to help you with your

tiff you voted switch sides started

arguing monster showed up i brought in

my crew we saved the day

i think you forgot the part where you

fainted just going with the

important details thank you very much

the monster destroyed our beautiful

grass

there's hardly any of it left

is the monster what do you mean here's

the monster

he's right here

[Music]

that is one hungry monster what shall we

do hope he keeps digging until he hits

the other side

so much for that plant

monster green eyed

that's it

little busy michelle i think i know what

caused the monsters to appear

oh then by all means do tell get back to

the ship

the green eyed monster escaped i'm

scared

i'm running out of clothes

[Music]

i remembered something soul told me and

realized this monster is my fault

your fault no you can't blame yourself

really

so what'd you do it came from envy i

resented what jason had and now

everything is ruined

i don't care if it is smaller i like my

just fine wait a minute michelle

that had an effect on it say it again i

was wrong

i don't want jason's room i appreciate

what i've got

i don't even care if my room is smaller

thank our lucky stars wait a minute

you're saying this monster appeared from

envy

yes and if your solution was to

appreciate what you have

then it stands to reason

then what what happens when we

appreciate what we have

[Music]

ovarian

tell the sheep exactly what you told us

attention sheep

the secret is be satisfied with what you

have

wanting someone else's stuff only feeds

the monster

you have to be content i repeat

you have to be content

she's right the grass on our side is as

green as theirs

it's not so bad

[Music]

oh

to go sis thanks ow

i'm sorry everybody oh don't worry

all's well that ends well i had my

doubts there for a while though

saul was right a heart that's satisfied

is good

but envy just eats up everything that

you have

and robs you from the inside out choose

a hole in your soul you might say

yeah that's it it felt like something

was chewing a hole in my

soul mitchell our job is done here

feeling better navi

[Music]

go to second solar system and turn right

take us home please

[Music]

[Music]

i am i am children come see what grandma

made something for us

something to eat good news jason

i've got cake for later but for now whoa

blankets for each of you oh thank you

grandmom it's beautiful

so this is what you were doing with all

that wool

i love it oh can you guess why i put

sheep on each blanket

cause it's warm you get wool from sheep

no but that's very logical cause you

grew up on a sheep ranch

i didn't grow up on a sheep branch dear

but that's very

imaginative i'll put them on your

blankets

because she bought innocent gentle

creatures just like you two

machines now

up to bed and i'll bring you each a nice

warm piece of my

cake oh yes

cake all around with grandmom's famous

coconut raspberry guava frosting thank

you grandmom

what's guava it's not like liver is

it no it's a tropical fruit deer

hey his piece is bigger than bigger than

what michelle

nothing grand mom i'm happy with the

piece of cake i have oh

good night dears remember to brush your

teeth

and don't forget to say your prayers

[Music]

thanks for getting jason and me through

this last couple of days

sorry i was so envious me too next time

we'll remember to be happy with what we

have and not be resentful of what we

don't have

yeah we're gonna really remember it

because i don't want

any monster eating my socks please bless

mom and dad and ziggle and mitchell

and vigil and kevin amen

[Applause]

[Music]

who am i

[Applause]

[Music]

you