02x12 - Wise Guys

[bunniefuu]

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i'm making my friend

molly a birthday card but i can't decide

what to draw

i'm reading the time machine i'm at the

part where the time traveler meets the

morlocks

nasty hairy guys kinda like you

so funny i forgot to laugh they live

underground

in the dark hey

cut it out you said i was like a morlock

i wanted dark

so funny or forgot to laugh what are my

two lamb chops doing i'm making a card

for molly's birthday but i can't decide

what to draw

a horse or a ballerina oh they both

sound nice

better put this pad under your paper

pumpkin that table's got

dense no it's fine grandmom

guess you were right hmm did you put a

brighter bulb in there jason

better light this whole lamp wasn't wide

for these modern bobs

it's a bit dangerous put in a dimmer one

dear

i know what i'm doing grandmom oh i know

a thing or two myself governor

you'd be wise to lend an ear to my

advice if you want to learn to do things

the right way

here it comes the good book says

listen to advice and accept instruction

and in the end

you will be wise you wise

not likely just remember i do speak from

experience

dumplings now go wash up we're having

liver souffle for dinner

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wish i had a time machine for real i'd

skip ahead to breakfast

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[Music]

[Applause]

oh

let's sing a little song with eight

little words but a rocket ship

and flightless birds

sigil

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mitchell

vigil

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[Applause]

kevin

three two

[Music]

one

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here we come nothing like a nice

refreshing fruit drink after a tough

mission

we haven't been on a mission yet picky

picky picky

look what i found in the storage bag

what is it jason

a time machine why that was mine when i

was little

i sent away for it saved hundreds of

cereal box stops

that must have taken forever not really

kevin help

it's all in pieces oh yes i took it

apart

i needed to make something way cool for

my bicycle

what's cooler than a time machine

attaching a car to the spokes

you know they make that flap sound when

you ride

oh yeah that's way better than some old

time machine

can i put it back together certainly

will you need any advice

it's been a while but i remember no

thanks i got it covered

i need a wrench not advice

how goes it jason just need to tighten

up

this and done she's ready for a test

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drive

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huh here you never look at the

directions

battery's not included

[Applause]

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so i need all the double-a batteries you

got this is an emergency

what's a rush jason stick around have a

chat with the federation vet here

you might pick up a thing or two sorry

no time i need those batteries

you're missing a great opportunity

soldiers like him started the federation

jason

yes we have a lot to learn from wise old

vets like him

can't right now maybe another time now

can i please have my batteries

attention federation soldiers i have a

heavy-duty mission for you

seems the occupants of planet obstacle

are having a dispute about what wattage

bulbs to use

i thought you said this was heavy duty

seems rather

light to me get it light

you know as in light bulbs

get it yeah

as i was saying seems the young folks

are disagreeing with the older more

experienced leaders

i want you fly boys to get over there

and straighten this out

can't have people using the wrong bulbs

aye aye commander

we're on it kevin

leave the soldier

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might as well relax ladies and gentlemen

we're not getting out of here anytime

soon

okay that's one one way one

the other way one one word to the wise

there jason

time machines can be tricky oh i quite

agree the space-time continuum is

nothing to be trifled with

after what i did with my time machine

let's just say

it still hurts to sit down because of me

my entire sixth grade class had to

repeat grade school all

over again you understand what we're

saying jason huh

yeah time very delicate got it

one second hold on i can only throw

things

one second into the future what a

rip-off

guy needs a muffler and a tune-up

prepare for takeoff

i could give him some advice if only

he'd listen

when i was young i took the limiter off

that time machine to

soup it up a bit when i was young i

wanted to either be a space captain or a

ballerina

what about you mitchell

what was that oh i'm afraid i can't find

the source of the message

then play it again i can't it's gone

anyone remember anything it said have a

nice day

it sounded like some serious advice

exactly

a warning a dire warning but of what

and from whom or is it who

well i'm out want anybody i'm famished

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my bad

do something smart this kind of thing's

your department

the controls aren't responding time of

impact 30 seconds

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[Music]

five seconds

uh not bad mitchell not bad at all

i'll check to see if the atmosphere's

safe

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ah fresh air not to worry everybody

it's perfectly safe

no that was not my fault it was a lousy

time machine

it didn't even work or maybe you didn't

listen to any advice

[Laughter]

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looks like they didn't get the

transmission and

i dare say jason ignored our

warnings about the time machine

hello we come in peace

from a planet far far away

our spaceship has been damaged

do you have a communication device

we're old not deaf oh

sorry then hello we come in peace

from a planet far far away we understood

you the

first time it's going to take some time

to rebuild that ship no no we're experts

we just need to contact the federation

tell them we're going to be a little

late i dare say so

about seven decades late

[Laughter]

well that was useless those two old guys

are off their rockers

well technically speaking they're on the

rockers but they're still off

is anybody listening to me well i

suppose there's nothing to do but roll

up our sleeves and get to work

okay rolling sleeves

uh this may take a while

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i think that's everything i certainly

hope so

looks like you fly boys have a little

work ahead of you

we've been around the galaxy a time too

we might be of some assistance right

assist us and making it worse

thank you gentlemen but we're doing just

fine

on our own

i would suggest listening to your elders

vigil we do have experience after all

i'm sorry but how how do you know my

name we know all your names

your vigil mitchell ziggle jason

michelle and kevin excuse me but

uh do we know you of course you do

captain

we are you how can you be me i'm me

what mitchell means captain is that we

are the future versions of you

hasn't changed a bit i'm a lot shorter

than i remember

and you're skinnier i prefer the word

lanky would someone please explain to me

what's happening here

captain jason's time machine has

evidently

thrown us into the future these are our

future selves

[Laughter]

no really what's going on

say who is this handsome specimen and

some space man

me go on seriously who is this

he's you from the past that's impossible

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wow

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all right this is fantastic exactly

how is this fantastic jason your time

machine works

we're in the future this is the coolest

thing

ever not to dampen your enthusiasm young

man

but our situation is in fact quite dire

what do you mean a ship's destroyed who

knows how much the time machine's been

damaged

jason face the facts the odds are you

and your

are stuck here with us forever

uh captain i'm fat

and bald and my teeth are gone

mitchell i got old we all get old

captain

not me i've got to get back mitchell

back to our own time

i can't stay here any longer say i don't

know if you boys have noticed but your

ship's got some holes in it

that's gonna make it difficult to fly oh

i hadn't noticed that i don't want to

get too

technical here but uh there's no air in

space

you fly in this and you'll have to hold

your breath for a really

long time got it thanks i

wouldn't do that i'm sorry that part

goes in last if you put it in now you'll

just have to take the whole ship apart

again later

thank you for your assistance i'll take

it from here

the old bird can't see more than two

feet in front of him what could he

possibly know

help someone help what is it michelle

kevin's getting younger

hey that's not funny oh no what's

happening to him

oh i'm afraid the time machine has

affected kevin directly if he keeps

reverting at this rate

soon he'll be nothing more than an egg

listen to me you're wasting your time

with that

but it must fit this part it should be

connected to the fuel manifold which is

inside

so you'll have to take the ship apart

again

he's joking right oh i should have

listened to him in the first place

our old selves seem to know more than

our young sons

funny thing how that works we don't have

time for this

kevin's gonna be an egg before you know

it i'm well aware of that

jason how's the time machine coming it

wasn't damaged too badly

i just don't know if we can go back the

exact number of years we came forward

well here's my suggestion follow the

instructions you got there mate

i'm trying i got the communications back

up at least

captain is he gone i mean am i gone the

future me i mean won't leave me alone

and he's kind of strange if you ask me

if you want to contact anyone the

communication screen is back

up thank you

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now where did i put those batteries

kevin i need those oh fine get them here

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hello planet obstacle this is captain

sigil

from the federation we were coming to

visit you but we're a tad late

i figure by about uh 75 years

and what is the nature of your call we

were told you had some problems deciding

what wattage bulbs to use

oh yes i remember that time we don't use

bulbs anymore old-fashioned antique

things

but seven decades ago we had issues

galore everyone argued about it

right that's why we're here to settle

the issue

no need now oh we realized older folks

gave good

advice we did what they said worked out

great

oh all right then don't need us fine we

traveled a few light years to get here

but hey

no biggie over and out

nope don't need us just your older folks

and their voice of experience

grandma was right michelle we should

listen to advice from more experienced

people

i remember listen to advice and accept

instruction

and in the end you'll be wise i was

trying to do

everything myself and didn't listen to

the advice

of people who knew more than me but i

will next time

there's a bigger problem jason you

didn't change that ball when grandmom's

busy in the kitchen

oh no we have to get back before the

lampshade catches on fire

don't worry about it cadet that was 75

years ago

light bulbs burned out by now even one

of those fancy swirly long-lasting ones

guys we have to get off this planet now

something about leaving the lights on

their electric bill is gonna be through

the roof we're trying everything we can

jason we haven't tried

listening to the voices of experience

if you back off detention in the

thrusters

you get a smoother ride hey you're right

thanks future me and i believe you'll

find that your

shields will operate much better when

calibrated through

this i do believe i know what i'm

talking about

uh what you're talking about i mean

you've uh

got an egg here he's uh a member of our

crew

in my day you had to graduate from the

academy before they considered you

flight worthy

are we almost done everything but the

power crystals

are they important if they're not

working properly we can't take off

so again is that important

maybe you're sending them to

calibrations that are 75 years old

we're in the future now thanks jason but

i think the grown-ups have got this hold

on the kid may be right i say give it a

shot

good job young man there's a future in

science for you yet not to press a point

but the whole crystal thing

life and death important

thanks for everything we couldn't have

done it without you

we know bye

good to see i miss those days

i concur my friend how about you

little you miss those days no

mainly i miss my hair

well here goes nothing

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like you said here goes nothing

you brought us back but is it the right

time we still

might be off by a few years attention

rockhopper this is the message from your

future

stop messing around with time you must

listen to us and stop

chasing or you will face certain doom

and captain tiger lay off the sweets

have a nice day

i believe you got us back right on the

dot jason

good job now please get us home before

that lab

overheats next up grandmom's corner of

the universe

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i hope we're not too late i don't smell

any smoke

hey it's a dim ball of course it is dear

i changed it but you should have i'm

really sorry grandmom

i should listen to people who have more

experience

especially when they give advice or

instruction

i learned that lesson today good boy

and for that you deserve a reward my

liver souffle

thank you for everything except maybe

the

liver souffle but like grandma said

i deserved it

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you