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01x08 - Surely You Joust

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Don Coyote and Sancho Panda". Aired: September 16, 1990 – December 8, 1991.*
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Don Coyote is a swordsman who travels the land in search of adventure, with the help of his noble horse Rosinante, Sancho Panda and his cynical donkey, Dapple.

01x08 - Surely You Joust

Post by bunniefuu »

sincerely your king andele the 18th

there that should do it

ouch hurry now if us take this message

to the greatest knight in the kingdom

right away sire

wait I nearly forgot the law your seal

that was a friendly village we passed

through the maidens gave us such a grand

fender I am not so sure that they're

finished yet

you see Sancho the maiden can't bear the

feeling how is it that won him it's

always sunny side up yeah and we end up

with egg on our faces

I'm sorry madam no souvenirs you can't

leave yet this is only the first day

ladies I know you find me irresistible

but we have other deeds to do

oh come on Isabelle

Sancho I always enjoy yeah but the

ladies have all the muscle I don't know

Isabel but if I ever see that coyote

again I'll give him something that how

about did you hear that Sancho even

though I've rejected their over a

amateurs I mean their amorous overtures

they still promised me a gift I don't

think that's exactly what they meant

Don coyote know at last we can return to

the quest at hand Sancho what quest

Don coyote close why I don't know

something's in the air he bit my friend

never try to explain the inexplicable of

the incident apology no he's got me

doing it hmm

- the greatest knight in the kingdom

thoughtfully of course my throne is

threatened by a villain from within I

need your help immediately fine King on

delay do you know what this means

Roger the King has lost his mind that

can be no hesitation to our exploration

we must proceed pell-mell was no time to

waste

we must be prideful face what's he

talking I think he means we've got to

hurry

well what do you say Matt I'm miraikan

future is somewhat shall be Prince be

County perhaps this will help clear

things let's see here yes the reception

that seemed a little better now well we

might plan to ever see my uncle the King

succeed or not

I hate reruns I better jump ahead hmm

very interesting what is it I need to

see Turin amore oh wait I'm beginning to

get the picture I see a nice night but

I'm afraid of the dark

Oh a knight of old a courtly Cavalier in

shining armor he's a nobleman hired by

your uncle to protect his ground but

such all do you see what I see a dragon

why that's the most disgusting

I mean disgust of all I mean digestible

you mean detestable Don Quixote so you

see a - hmm not exactly

front row there's only one thing to do

see an eye doctor I'm supposed to do the

comedy here prepare to charge

moronic you're running on an empty tank

they haven't been any Knights of old or

new for that matter for hundreds of

years no I think you look at this Prince

Bacardi you got our license plate

numbers well you know my mother always

used to say better an equestrian and a

pedestrian

chicka-boom that critical cost you

Prince picante I don't care what it

takes

get rid of that crazy mate my own so

serene by the time they get out of that

little maze of mine today's special free

food and faithful perfect I'll just wait

for the Jeep and a pal

so there's morale de you get many

crusading nights and stuff in these

parts actually you're the first hmm

that's no Kuwait Centro this

establishment if most hospitable and it

is very pleasant to Don Quixote come to

my humble country and perhaps a goblet

of our finest

a little nip if you answer a big leap

for me first a toast to this delicate

flower thank you said yeah drink up

oh no no no I insist that you sample the

first sip oh I couldn't deal night you

BAE you fer no no no no I insist after

all age before beauty

no I insist before I told you things are

really hopping in there any minute now

spot even the trapdoor opens that dinner

will be served

fantastic panting go my fun-loving

friend Seaton coyote of course I say

don't you a dancing damn phone

what a tempter canceled on coyote my

dear mumbled with mihari knees from

Morocco I hokey-pokey with princesses

from Poconos I've even hula with ten

nations from Oahu I mean I mean why do

you don't I'm fine how are you

Thank You CLT

it nice doggy now that's entertainment

this time it still be picking up pieces

of coyote from here to Cucamonga it's

time for Plan B what do you mean let's

Don Quixote is still at large

you said if it'd been a problem sire the

night is more clever than we thought but

don't worry I already have a plan give

me a moment in now think of it yes I

think it's coming to me now

and you're sure we can get rid of those

two clowns look just pretend you're

then leave the rest to me

Don Quixote and his faithful Sancho are

ready to lay down their lives in your

service o my king nobody asked me very

good

we're ready to lay down your lives in

the morning a pleasant fellow that king

- troll I don't know there's something

kinky about King Sancho no one questions

the king sejo sleep sleep sleep you are

very sleepy not that sleepy yes master

when I snap my fingers you will be in my

power in your power you will have a

mission I have a mission and that

mission is destroyed Don coyote that

it's got it destroyed on coyote

destroyed on coyote destroy pan coyote

destroyed on coyote destroyed on coyote

destroyed on coyote essential whatever

are you doing destroy a dozen coyote

splendid idea my boy testing my

effectiveness I mean my defenses I just

have to do better why a real opponent

would have had me like what am I doing

here

Oh love charade

in ten minutes Dan coyote will be

destroyed forever

how do you know I'm working on it I'm

working on it

John can time your first duty has to

check out the castle fortifications

yes indeedy toothed fire but first we

must reinforce the back part don't you

mean the ramparts Don coyote of course

those two now where was I

oh yes now take the filling shot here

Sancho

you remember your mission don't you

destroy done coyote destroy done coyote

hmm very interesting destroy Don Quixote

destroy done coyote destroyed Don coyote

take a look your highness that rope

there it could break like

I want you to inspect the weaponry and

splendid Villandry if your Heinen

destroyed on coyote astride on coyote

gee what few your highness now you have

a remedy that will clear that cold up

like and you say this remedy will work

like Don Quixote indeed fire like that

ah ah you mean like destroyed Don

Quixote destroyed on coyote in fact I'll

get that remedy for you right this

instant fire stay here I'll be back in a

jiffy don't care hey wait John

we came that close whoops excuse me your

highness

but have you seen Don coyote

admit it moronic you're a loser

not yet speak aunty I have a new plan

that is foolproof I refuse to pay

another cent even if I told you that I

can hire the most notorious outlaw that

ever walked the planet I'll send for the

Black Knight immediately may I

are you sure this is a good idea GaN

coyote surely you joust seneschal don't

you know what night for for for sleeping

no Sancho to accept all challenges no

matter how big oh boy that's a really

big one so Don coyote we meet again for

the thirsting and may the best Knight

win as long as he's wearing black keep

cool kiddo this will be more fun than

taking borscht from a baby

I seen you somewhere

now I remember where I saw it was on the

post office wall

Oh

- o'clock you wish to surrender now

Black Knight sigh good night Tommy and I

get paid big bucks

don't cry up in my body gone but he's

not going to be forgotten

I'm not charging anyone anytime they

need another day another night

nothing like a little rock climbing to

work up an appetite

don't cut your knee your eyes I thank

you thank oh I appreciate the vote of

confidence

and I see I thank word I denied concrete

I mean I've defeated the white knight of

course you see that's usual how I ever

defeat honglei with this dumb coyote on

his side

well I might have one more idea of my

sleep favorite moronic shovel punch hole

I mean act humble funchal the king

you're coming too

yeah I thought we were gonna see a real

cliffhanger and for protecting the town

from new surfer hiking underlay the 18th

hereby reward you Don coyote with your

weight in gold as much land as you can

ride across in a day and all-you-can-eat

have a royal salad bar most generous

your highness I'm sure but for the true

9th the deed itself is more than

sufficient renumeration and now if it's

all the thing to you I will better do

some day Sancho will look back and

recall these remind me Don Quixote

couldn't we have taken just one radish

some pickled garbanzo beans maybe how

about some of those little ears of corn