01x05 - Angling Anglers / Cake Flakes

[bunniefuu]

Who's the sassiest, brassiest, classiest

cat?He's

Cliff! Who's got charm?

Who's got warmth?Who's got style?You can

bet he'll never get caught in the dog

catcher's net. He's

Cliff!Who's light on his feet?A

wizard of disguise?Who'll steal a

mackerel right under your eye?Heathcliff!

Here come his friends, a trio of creeps,

Dingbat, ohh the vampire dog,

Sara, the skeleton, and that

jack-o-lantern of all trades, nobody.

It's the Heathcliff and Dingbat Show.

Step on it, Dingbat. We've only got 10

minutes to get to our new job. Sure

thing, blog.

Just what I thought. It's out of

tune. There's only one thing to

do. Call the TTT.

What's TTT stand for?

Transylvania Tow Trucks.

Yes! Tow us to the nearest job.

And make it snappy. Whoa!

We'd like to stay and help you clean this

up, but we're late for our jobs. Oh,

I'll give you a job. With our next

five years paying for these damages. Now,

I'll be back soon, and I want this entire

mess cleaned up before I return.

OK, creeps, start cleaning.

Looks like we ditched the cops. We better

get some gas.

There, it's all fixed up and looking

better than before.

Fill her up. What would you like?

Irregular or creepy?Just

fill it up. Yes, sir, at your service,

sir.

Lean back, change the oil. Oh,

what would you like me to change it into?

Fix

that flat before I flatten you. Yes,

sir. 97 gallows,



Hey, nobody, how do I know when it's full?

You empty-headed numbskull, shut off the

gas and Jack up the car. We've got a

tire to fix.

What you want me to do, Nobody?I

told you to check the oil.

No problem. Plenty of

oil. I think I made a blue blue.

Whew.

That was a close call.

Oh, blue. I'll get close though. At least

there was no damage.

There's gonna be some damage before I get

through.

Don't worry, we'll have it fixed in the

jiffy. This is going to be a

piece of pie with our ghoul tools,

screwdriver,

hammer.

Wrench.

Molten lava.

It's ready.

Perfect. It's beautiful.

If I do say so myself.

Before you go, we got to show you our

special creep features. Hurry up, you

g*ons. First, we have the horrible horn.

Then there's our safety crib belt.

And in case you're being chased,

yes, our oil slick sludge buttons.

Look what you did, you bonehead! Guess we

haven't got all the blood out. What have

you done to my customers?Don't worry,

Bloss. We'll clean it up.

Sparib, get the creepy tortoise wax.

Yeah, I'll wax it clean as a c*ck!

And I'll block it!

Don't worry, Mummy. I'll bling it back in

a bit.

Hurry it up!

Hurry!

Right! The police are here just the time

to arrest you, freak, for destroying my

station!

Congratulations. You've caught the two

bank robbers we've been after. Here's

your reward money.

This will exactly pay for the damages to

my station. Here's your pay. Now

get your creepy pushers out of mystation.

Thanks. Call on us anytime.

Leave it to nobody to take care of

everything.

We now return with the Heathcliff and

Dingbat Show.

In the spring, a young cat's fancy

lightly turns to thoughts of love.

I don't know why, but most people got a

thing for living high on the hog and high

off the ground. Now, don't you fret,

Jodie, my pet. We're just going out for a

little dinner. We're dying to try that

new seafood restaurant, Le Salmon

Salon. We'll bring you back a few scraps.

Ta-ta, darling.

Scraps, indeed. While they

eat fillets, I dine on day old

chocolates. Greetings and

salutations, Jodie. Oh, your dreary

day is over. It's me, Heathcliff.

Mr. Excitement come to bring new joy into

your life. How about you and me cracking

open a can of tuna, a dish of milk,

and dancing tonight away, huhReally,

Heathcliff?That's so bourgeois.

Canned tuna, indeed. It's just

not done in polite society.

However, if you truly wish to impress

me, then I suggest a meal of

salmon from the new five-star restaurant,

Le Salmon Salon. You got it, little

darling. I'll be back in a flash with

some salmon first class.

I haven't seen this much fish since I

stowed away on a tuna boat. Remember,

this is no animal shelter. You must earn

your keep, and that means you will

protect these prized salmon from the

alley cats. Do you understand, Monsieur

Spike?You must keep a sharp eye out for

these thieving felines. They will rip us

off right under our very noses.

Just one minute. Do not walk away when I

am speaking. It is bad form and

will cost you one demerit under my

system. Too many demerits, and the dog

pond will have a new resident.

Sacroiliac! Already, one of my

prized salmon is missing! Oh, there! The

thief is running out of the door! After

him!

Ratchet, that's

it... I hope he's

got cab fare home. And now, I mustn't

keep a high-bred lady waiting. Where'd he

go?Stop the cab!

I got to get in shape for these dates.

Your salmon, my lady. Was I gone too

long?Oh, Heathcliff, you did it. Oh,

how sweet you are. Of course, my love.

I'm a high-performance pussycat. And so,

Marish. Dinner is saved.

Oh, dear. It's quite rare. I detest

rare fish. You'll have to take it back,

Heathcliff. I hope you understand.

Yeah, of course. I shall have a few words

with a chef. Poisonly. Oh, he's

so understanding. It's sad he's not

rich.

Well, it didn't go to waste.

Just look at those beauties. It's Salmon

City. Oughta be some pretty good fishing

around here. And it ain't even salmon

season. I got to

watch it on these demerits. The dog punk

scene is a drag.

You know, I really didn't expect these

fish to have any bite left in them.

Oh, must have hooked a big one. Oh,

they're really biting to me.

I even hooked a dogfish.

Old Spike seems to be hunger.

Perhaps I should have the larger chart or

the smarter dog. A bit of parsley,

salad, and soy sauce. Again,

this cannot be. This cat is ruining

our five-star rating. Ah, but my rating

with Jody is zooming skyward on the wings

of love. This is

your last chance. Perhaps mine as

well.

You've got to admire his determination,

if not his style. Oh, I should

never have left Maxim's of Paris. Of

course, you must realize what this means,

Michelle Spike. Yeah, back to the pond,

trying to look cute and adorable to

prospective owners. Oh,

I'm sorry, Jodie. We have no pitty

bag for you. That restaurant was a

total disappointment, all sorts of

low-life rabble running about. Come,

Jodie, we'll find a place more suitable

to our station in life.

You know, it's so long about this time

that I begin to wonder if any Goyle is is

going to all of this trouble. And

what's this?A dear John note. Dear

Heathcliff decided to eat out

Jodie. Not even love

Jodie. She. Oh, well, no

big deal. I might have lost a Goyle. But

I've got the fish.

After all, man doesn't live by love

alone.

Boy, do I need this vacation. I'm as pale

as a ghost. This Creeper tan lotion ought

to put some color in my bones!

Sting-bat, get out here, you scaredy-bat!

Uh, uh,

gosh, I'm in it! Oh, oh, I've lost my

$100,000 diamond earring! Oh, gods,

gods! Uh-oh, I better

ditch this and come back for it later.

Uh oh, lost another lure. The fishes

ought to like this pretty one.

Have you seen my diamond earring?

Was it about this big with a small

gold ring and a big

diamond on it?Yes. Sounds

like my pretty lure. Your lure.

Don't worry, I'll get it back!

I think you caught a bling one! Blah,

blah, bling! Yay!

Look out!

Give us some light!

Hey, I found the earrings!

Great!Now you can find us a way

out of here. Just leave it to the great

thing, Blanche. I just happen to know

that all whales have ticklish tonsils.

Where's the diamond earring?Ohh

Hmm, it must be somewhere on the bleach.

Spare him, get out our creepy diamond

sniffer. Right,

boss!

I better find that diamond before those

creeps don't.

Start digging!

The earring! I found it!

The earring! I found it! I think you

found an oil pipeline! Gotcha! Hey!

I'll catch you, Bluff!

Yow!

My earring. It was here in my

purse all the time. Get me out of here,

you creepy creeps!

From now on, I'm going straight. At

least we got rid of him. Yeah. Now

we can relax and have a whale of a time.

We now continue with the Heathcliff and

Dingbat Show.

Well, it was a day like any other day.

Birds were singing, breezes were blowing,

and I was checking out my turf for

interlopers and poachers. When suddenly,

a mysterious stranger slid into view,

drops a stash in the trash, and exits

with a flash. You didn't have

to be a cat to get curious about this

one. Then things

began to brighten up. It was my kind of

diamond. Authentic, unique,

and nearly indestructible.

Suddenly, I had the whole sanitation

department on my case. I was picked up

like a piece of trash and thrown into a

truck. It was starting to get a bitmessy,

but I had been in over my head before and

pulled myself out. Now that's

a diamond in the rough.

Thanks for the ride, guys, and I'll

mention your name at the next SPCA

meeting. Meanwhile, I'm off to

mull over a luxurious future.

Heya. Yeah, I saw it.

Hey, that's some Rocky's guy.

Hey, for you guys who only read the

funnies, listen to this.

Stiffening diamond vanishes.

Big reward posted. Hitler

found that stiffing diamond in our trash.

Any reward money belongs to

us. Give me that rock or I'll have to get

heavy.

Uh-oh.

Thanks for all the help. Now where's

that cat?Keep an

eye on him. He's got our diamond.

So there's a big reward for this diamond.

Now here's my plan.

It was an old ploy. One guy chases me

down the alley to where the other guy is

waiting with a net, but I went along with

it. These little exercises keep me in

shape. I can't freeze.

I may be cool, but I never

freeze. This

is going too smoothly, so I

kicked it into high and went for it.

HmmDidn't you get him?

You mean he got away?

Tough to start happen. Elementary,

my dear Watson. Elementary.

You better start making funeral

arrangements, Heathcliff.

All right, Cat, where's my

diamond?Everybody

wants a piece of my rock.

Uh oh. Never mind

that. Got me out of this

here car. Forget it.

I've got a better idea. Just throw me

down to the hardware store and I'll try

me out with a rover. All

right.

He'll watch out for that big hill coming

up. HuhWhy?Too late.

Uh-oh. It was the usual chase scene.

Up one hill...

and down the other. Everyone was

having a great time.

All this was very entertaining, but it

was about time I picked up my reward. It

was at this point that I again ranto the

mysterious stranger.

Nice exit. Must be one of my

fans. Hey, who's the guy in a

dark coat?

Diamonds are a cat's best friend.

Laugh it up, cat. You don't have many

laughs left. Oh, you guys are a riot,

too. But I got a reward waiting for me at

Stiffany's. And you got a

knuckle sandwich waiting for you too, at

the end of my fist. Oh,

where's that guy anyway?Uh, I don't

know. I seem to be spending too much

time in trash cans and sewers.

Trudy's doors must pass some real gems.

I'm here to claim the reward for this

little bauble. Uh, anyone here?

Say, uh, don't I know use from somewhere?

Excuse me, I'm an investigator for the

insurance company. It was all painlessly

clear now. The mysterious stranger, the

jewel thief, and the Stiffany Clerk were

all one. Here is your diamond, and there

is your thief. Now where is my fabulous

reward?Here you are, a brand new

crisp $5 bill.

Ah boy, inflation is a k*ller.

Hey, it's good of you to share the

reward, Murray with us, Heathcliff. As

such as it is. The real joy is

knowing I did a good deed for a big

company.

And if you believe that, then you'll

believe the moon is made of green cheese.