01x11 - Kitty a la Carte / Mystery Loves Company

[bunniefuu]

Who's the sassiest, frassiest, classiest

cat?

Heatcliff. Who's

got charm?Who's got warmth?Who's got

style?You can bet he'll never get caught

in the dog catcher's net. Heatcliff.

Who's light on his feet?A whiz of

disguise?Who'll steal a mackerel right

under your eyes?Heatcliff.

Here come his friends, a trio of creeps.

dingbat. Ohh The vampire dog. The

stereo, the skeleton. And that

jack-o'-lantern of all trades, nobody.

It's the Heathcliff and Dingbat Show.

Okay, you clucks. Hurry up and fix those

clocks before I get ticked off. Yes,

bluff. Well, that's her blouse, Dobby.

My new creep alarm clock is ready. It's

nine o'clock. The sun is up.

Time for you to open the shop and for

vampires to be in bed.

Look, a customer. This is the

world's largest and oldest great, great

grandfather clock, and I want it fixed by



Oh, we've got plenty of time to fix it.

OK, Spare Riff, check out its ticker.

Its donger is broken and its ticker is

sick. Spur it! All you need to do

is un-sprawing the over-sprung

mainspring. Got it, boss! Yikes! All

of my knights have deserted me. Not

one of them is brave enough to rescue

my lovely daughter from the

evil Sir Grimace-a-lot.

By Joe. What's this?Spare

rip. You broke the mainspring. Now we'll

never have it repaired by 4:00.

We're black in the year



case, we have lots of time to fix it.

And Norman, let me have a good look

at you. It's the White

Knight. I knew you'd come to rescue my

daughter from the evil. Oh

boy, we got a job already. I think I

like tinkering with Clark's platter. I

want to go home. We can't go back when

there's a damsel in distress to

Grimace A Lot's castle. Help

save me.

The fair maiden is up in yonder window.

Worry not, fair maiden. Sir, nobody

will save you. Spare Rib, the

creep-a-pult. Yes, sir, sir, nobody.

Okay, Dingbat, launch me. Sure

thing, bluff. Nobody

to the rescue. just pull the

old turning turret trick.

We gotta get through the front door.

Don't worry, we can't fail with our

blattering ram. Blattery is not

included.

In the name of the Great Dinglat,

open the door or I will blatter it down.

Okay, time's up. Already?

Sure, I'll open the door.

Why you... Prepare

for your demise.

Don't take another step. I am

putting my famous curse upon you. You

will bleed stiff as a blord.

Blah, blah, blah.

What do I do with him?Get that sheet

metal and make him a suit of armor. He's

going into battle. Okey dokey, Sir.

Nobody. That

should do it. Charge.

Say your last farewell, you

ding-a-ling doggy.

Where am I?

Yikes!

Good work, Dingbat. You've won the first

round. When I get my lance out,

I'll finish that scroungy mutt for

good. Here, let me help you.

Who turned out delight?

Looks like it's a good knight to the bad

knight. Oh,

my hero. You have saved me from the evil

knight. You can now have my hand in

marriage. Certainly, it sounds good to

me. Oh, I'd rather marry the evil

knight. Boy, she

doesn't even know a good thing when she

sees it. Never mind. We still got to get

back and fix that grandfather clock.

Hurry up, spare whip. Spring the sprung

mainspring and send us back.

Oh, boy, we're home again.

It's 9:00. The sun is off.

Time for you to open the shop and for

vampires to be in bed.

Uh oh, I think we went back too far.

This is the world's largest and oldest

great, great, great. Oh, no! Not again.

We're not going back again.

We now return with the Heathcliff and

Dingbat Show.





better

not show up at the beach or it'll start a

riot. We bodybuilders call this

pose. The double bicep?

The three-quarter bicep?The

side, Chest. And

the ever popular crab. Got

to be in shape for a date with my solid

gold lady friend Jodie and this jet

set Princess and queen of my heart.

And a lucky lady she is. Just look at

that face. Who could resist it?With this

kind of charisma, I could start up a new

religion. Eve, Cliff.

Jodie, what's happening?I've been looking

all over for you. A girlfriend who

appreciates class. I'm going to have to

break our date. I'll explain later.

I can't believe this. She totally

rejected me in broad daylight. Oh,

what a humiliation. A real ego k*ller.

Well, she's not the only pussycat in this

wide world, but she's the

richest.

Now I'm going to have to review my entire

social life. I'm much too cool for the

organized singles scene. Love boats make

me seasick.

Oh, society news. OohNow these are

my people. International Feline

and Cat Show. Hey, I'm not only a

cat, but very feline, too.

You know, being a cat is where it's at.

All we got to do is meet some feline

freak with big bucks and retire. Unlike

dogs, we don't fetch, roll over, play

dead or nothing. We just hang out looking

inscrutable. I hope I'm not

being a peeping Tomcat. Wow, the good

Lord don't close one door but opens

another. Pussycats galore.

Good times are coming and bad times are

passing, boy. Seems to be a well

organized event. Tight security. Yeah, I

like that. Keeps the rattle up. Hold it,

rattle. Hold what?

Was it the something I said?

We don't seem to be communicating.

Nobody gets in here without papers.

Papers. Get your daily papers.

Read all about it. Daily Bugle, Village

Crier, City News. What do I have to do to

get into this show anyway?All you need is

money, pull and a pedigree. That's the

American way.

My congressmen will hear about this.

You know why I'm having so much trouble

with this guy?'Cause I haven't been

using my superior mental agility. You

might even say I was a little stupid. But

just don't say it to my face.

Okay, next.

Okay, next.

Hey, Number 9, how's your appetite?

Fresh catfish, yours for a quick

disappearing act.

He's cliff in for Number 9, and the beat

goes on.

Okay, looks good.

Hey, this could be the start of a new

career. Just lying around being admired

and pampered. It's part of my cherished

pussycat heritage. And what an

opportunity to meet some refined new

ladies. Hello in

there. How does it feel to be perfectly

formed by nature?Don't you know?

I adore women who appreciate fine

flattery. Hey, you want to boogie with me

after the show, little Goyle?The judges

are coming. Judges?

But this is so certain. But

a true performer is always prepared.

What some folks call vanity.

That is called confidence. I

call it Macho Mania, and I can

dig it. He's got the

finest factorial since Arnold

Schwarzenegger.

Hey, Mr. Cool, you still run the

boogie?I can resist anything but

temptation. I'm yours. No,

quite. That voice, a blast

from the past.

Oh, he's click. I'm so glad you're here.

Now I can explain. I was chosen

honorary queen of this show. That's why I

couldn't make our date. But I'm free

now. They're

announcing the Mr. Macho Muscle champion.

And the winner is who

else?#9.

Oh, Heathcliff, you did it again!

If you don't mind, we'd like to be alone.

We came here to Africa to answer your ad

in the gruesome Gazette, Mr. Leggett. It

says here you'll pay a reward for the

safe return of this weird dwarf elephant.

Alfie, I'll pay $10,000 to

get my Alfie back. We'll have him

black before you know it.

Alfie could be anywhere in this jungle.

Just start thinking of a way to capture

that dwarf elephant. Every elephant comes

running for Peanut.

You peanut brain, you pulled out the

jumbo peanuts instead of the dwarf

ones. Sorry, Bluff. But

look at the bright side. We found

Alfie. Come on, let's get him.

Quick, spare him. Get us to that

elephant. Right away, boss.

Full steam ahead.

Get us out of here.

Now let's get the elephant. There we go.

They'll

get us across.

Let's move him! He's

getting away! I'll rot him!

I got him, I got him!

I don't got him.

I can't look. Is it over?You really

took care of that panther. I did.

Of course I did. That little kitty cat

didn't scare the great

Quick, capture that elephant. The octopus

came off to do it.

We captured Alfie. But he

looks terrible. So small and thin.

Puby even. Then we better fix him up with

a super creep vitamin pill before we take

him to Mr. Leggett. We brought

your elephant, Mr. Leggett. And I think

you'll find him in better shape now than

when he left. Where is my elfie?

Here he is. Blah, blah,

blah. What have you done to my dwarf

elephant?He... He's... He's

huge. I guess this means we

don't get the reward. I tell you, you

devil! Reward! It never hurts to ask.

We

now continue with the Heathcliff and

Dingbat show.

Police still have no clues in the purple

pink burglaries occurring in suburban

areas of the city. Oh, dear. Oh,

my! Don't worry, Grandma.

We have Heathcliff to protect us.

Oh, forget it. I'm off duty. Rest and

recreation. That's my scene.

Ouch! Quiet, Cat, or you'll find

yourself stretched across a tennis

racket. No noise is good noise if you

catch my drift. But how about if you just

drift up and out without making any noise?

Violence only breeds violence. If he's a

smart boitler,He'll stay off of my tail.

Neither snow nor sleet nor dark of night

will keep this bugler from ripping off

this place. Nothing

is more relaxing than a roaring fire.

Uh, make that a screaming fire.

Ouch!

No, that only fires me up all amore.

My reputation is at stake. I have a

strong sense of pride about my weight.

Yeah, a real pro would work a wealthier

part of town. No such luck.

This guy doesn't seem to understand my

problem. When I lose sleep, I become

difficult, surly, irritable, and

downright grouchy with devastating

consequences.

Listen, guy, don't go away mad. Just go

away, OK?You're just asking for big

trouble. Well, uh, try to think of this

as a learning experience.

I'm gonna have to re-evaluate mystrategy.

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

I have years of training and experience

behind me.

This is a dog's job. Cats are supposed to

just lie around looking inscrutable.

A kid's piggy bank. What a

score. Kids have all the money these

days. For me, it's easy pickins.

Low overhead, no capital outlay, and

a high retain.

Uh, would you come inside for a minute?

Hey, what's going on?No big deal,

Iggy. Just taking out the garbage. Wow,

what a cat! And he doesn't even have a

pet agree. I kind of have to admire this

guy's tenacity. But he's a little short

of brain power.

This cat is headed for an iron cage,

so I can get on with my professional

dodies.

Wow, my dreams are getting better all the

time! He's

nibbling at it.

Now I won't have to get up and rake the

bridge. I think he's got it.

I'll say this guy can't fare home. Ah

A strike! I got him! He's fine.

Wow! It's a one heck of a fight!

And with both hands behind my back.

I can't stand litter.

The perkless manual never mentioned rowdy

cat.

Blood, huh

It's about time I wrap this gig up so I

can get a little sleep. I'm

just going to have to clean this case up

once and forever.

OK, all right, you win. I

surrender. well Where do I turn myself

in?A nice, cozy cell sounds pretty good

right now. Hey, you got it, pal.

There's a police station at the bottom of

the hill. Go for it.

Yes! And tell 'em Heathcliff sent ya.

I'll call ahead.



What?Purple Fink Burglar turning himself

in?I believe that's when I see

it.

Oh, geez, Cliff, have you heard the

news?Yeah, the Purple

Fink Burglar mysteriously turned himself

into the police. Oh, what a

relief! Now we don't have to live

in fear anymore. Great,

maybe now I can get a little shot-eye.