02x03 - Fozzie's Last Laugh

[bunniefuu]

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Barbie babies

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[Applause]

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probably the piano

is everything all right in here

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laughs

out here

this one's my desk

about to begin

here you are piggy an Apple for the

teacher boy thank you fuzzy

fold you with the old rubber worm in the

Apple joke

well quit joking around sassy it's

important to get an education you're

right Kermit there's a time for jokes

and a time for being serious hey Skeeter

what's that

where where

it's only my fake spider pretty funny

joke huh no it's not funny I thought you

were gonna be serious Fozzie sorry kamet

I must have gotten up on the funny side

of the bed this morning okay

while you're at it

I'm hungry

not fuzzy in my class you raise your

hand if you want to speak our first

subject today will be Italian History

does anyone know who discovered

spaghetti I do I

ganjo go ahead it was the famous

explorer Michael weirdo huh okay he was

sailing around the world looking for

sugar and spice and everything nice when

suddenly

the submarine attacked a submarine

sandwich status

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with pizza dough

fine

that's incredible I

know I see how I discovered meatballs

um thank you Gonzo you may sit down

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whoopee cushion always gets a laugh

gosh maybe it's broken

spots

are gonna learn anything but I'm going

to be a comedian and I already know how

to be funny Waka Waka Waka

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second lesson scooter if you have 10 hot

dogs and Skeeter took three of them what

would you have he'd have a tummy ache

get it

all right

all right stuff let's see if this makes

you laugh

what's that it's a dance cap you dance

if you have to tell jokes then tell them

to the wall

okay hey wow why did the man put a

sweater on his hot dog because it was a

chili dog

report

Eagles

let's see let's see

whoa I got an A in music and I got an

alien cute animals

for being weird hey guys look at this I

got an F for funny all right G fuzzy

that's not enough for funny that's

enough for not being funny gosh I

thought my jokes would get an A hi kids

how's your first day at school going I

got an A an arithmetic Nanny and I got

an A in gymnastics well congratulations

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what's the matter fuzzy

who wrote this report card

piggy did nanny giving Fozzy an F wasn't

very nice piggy I think you should

apologize

fuzzy and I'm even more sorry that your

jokes aren't funny piggy they are so

they are

why don't you tell Nanny a joke and let

her decide great idea Kermit here's a

funny one Nanny what's the difference

between an orange go ahead fuzzy finish

the joke it is finished that's the joke

[Laughter]

um why that was very different fuzzy

that's okay Nanny you don't have to

laugh I guess piggy was right I'm not

funny don't give up Fozzie with a little

more practice I'm sure you could be a

very funny comedian

yeah sure Nanny fuzzy looks awful sad

yeah we can't let him think he's a

failure we gotta help him out but how we

could give him funny lessons well that's

a great idea ganjo

I'm fuzzy we're gonna turn you into the

funniest bear in town you are

how would you be funny

me ladies

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no

no the one and only comic danger frog

now remember the secret to funny jokes

is twisting around the meaning of the

words

um I know a guy who was gonna start a

bakery only he couldn't raise the dough

thank you thank you please please what

do you get when you cross a frog with an

elephant

you get a flat side

[Applause]

thank you you see fuzzy it's simple

and now the nursery room is proud to

introduce a foot and a half of Sun's

covering Sun

baby you think I'm ready sure go on

remember Fozzy it's all in the words

don't worry I got it now

what do you get when you put chocolate

pudding in your mother's shoes give up

you get a spanking

I thought it was funny

sorry fuzzy I guess I let you down it

wasn't your fault Kermit my joke just

wasn't funny

then you must be the funniest weirdo in

the world Gonzo be nice to me piggy or

I'll tell everybody where you hide your

chocolate bon bons foreign

see the people in the audience with the

amateur model arrow through the head

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[Applause]

sorry come on fuzzy after I give you

some weird lessons you'll have the

audience rolling

rolling first thing you need is a weird

crap okay

[Applause]

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[Applause]

look weird Fozzy gosh it's working

already why do you see this

it doesn't look funny to me did you hear

that fellas he doesn't think we're funny

Etsy what makes something funny is when

it's unexpected thank you

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okay

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thanks for trying pal

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hey godzo's imagination is dangerous I'm

getting out of here

guys looks too weird for me

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I have weird

too

I'll never find out what funny is

Nino animal what do you know about being

funny funny is

trip

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wow I get it people will laugh at me if

I trip and fall hey guys watch this

wow

wow that was great fuzzy I knew you

could be funny what are you talking

about Kermit I really did trip

oh sorry now this is a funny trip

what wow great huh

uh sure fuzzy that was funny wasn't it

guys

I can't even trip right I'm just not cut

out to be a comedian all I wanted to do

is make people laugh I guess I am a

failure

gee what are you doing Fozzy

I'm throwing away my junk books and all

of my joke stuff

you guys have been right all along I'm

just not funny

I'm giving up comedy for good

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I'm tired of trying to be funny I know

how you feel fuzzy it's kind of like

playing a song and nobody Taps their

feet yeah oh don't give up fuzzy if I

hadn't given you an F you would still

want to be funny it's not your fault

piggy after a thousand tomatoes in the

face I can take a hint but making people

laugh always meant so much to you fuzzy

are you sure you want to give that up

uh-huh I'm going to be the most unfunny

thing I can be maybe I could sell books

that sounds pretty unfunny

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oh come right in okay

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I knew that

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good afternoon Miss my name is fuzzy

bear and I was wondering if you'd be

interested in buying a new 3D

holographic stereo encyclopedia they're

not funny yorzy oh no they're not funny

at all here I'll show you

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sorry I'm new at this

oh volume e you love this one

here's a section on earthquakes

okay okay

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that was close what section is that

electricity yeah

yeah maybe volume always safer no not

that page that's the ocean

wow

here it is

wow I said maybe not oranges well

they're navel oranges I was close wait a

minute maybe there's a section on jokes

jet planes jokes

wow there's nothing worse than a wise

guy encyclopedia

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gosh what volume is that oh it's k for

Kermit oh I don't think you were cut out

to be a sales Bearer fuzzy really I

thought I was getting close to a sale

can't you think of it I'm not very close

to anything

let's go back to the nursery how do we

get back check in volume B

ah D for drain

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I can't tell jokes I can't sell books

what good am I what kind of attitude is

that Fozzy you've got to be good for

something I guess I could always be a

bear rug

oh

I know what you can be fuzzy

don't you get it

oh yeah I could be a metronome no you

like standing up in front of people you

could be a singer I could sure you could

fuzzy yeah go on give it a try here goes

nothing

yeah

I can see it all now as I walk out on

stage the audience cheers I'm the latest

rage I grabbed my guitar and I am ready

to play

and then I reach for the microphone and

here's what I say

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I'm just a funny guy

the concerts are smash I'm a famous bear

they chase me around for a lot of my

hair

my videos up and my album too

and here's what I say on my interview

why

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figuring out

now

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gosh I guess I'm not very good at

singing either it's no use I'm not funny

I can't sell I can't sing I'm just a

dumb bear you're not dumb fuzzy I'm not

no way in fact with a little bit of

study I'll bet you could be a great

scientist you'd think so huh you imagine

Fozzy Einstein

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I'm scientist material Professor Scotto

positive why with a little luck you

could discover the theory of relativity

relativity wait a minute I think I got

it of course I'm a bear and bears are

related to dogs therefore Ralph and I

are relatives I've just discovered

relativity not quite fuzzy

relativity means that something is Big

only when you compare it to something

else that's smaller you know it's all

relative ah you mean like relative to a

peanut I got a real big brain something

like that this science stuff is fun I

think I'll invent anti-gravity chewing

gum

foreign

you might be a great scientist Fozzie

but nobody can invent anti-gravity

chewing gum

yeah

yeah I guess you're right

huh well you did it you're a genius

fuzzy gosh I am aren't I I could invent

anything and maybe even a joke formula

hello

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[Applause]

I've done it instant funny

yeah

instant tomato soup was more like it who

am I kidding never be a scientist the

only formula I ever discovered was baby

formula I know how you feel fussy I felt

awful when I realized I'd never be what

I wanted to be what did you want to be

Gonzo

I wanted to be green something you would

like me better oh yuck Beat It

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thanks animal but I don't want to take

your toys toys make happy

really maybe animals right maybe I need

toys maybe if I made millions of dollars

I could buy myself happiness

it sure is hot in Texas

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hey Kermit wait up

do I know you of course you do it's me

J.R Fozzie J.R fuzzy gee I haven't seen

you since you left the nursery to become

a billionaire yeah I'm a big oil Rancher

now rolling in dough how about you

coming did you make a lot of the green

stuff nope the only green I got is my

skin but it's mine and I'm happy oh so

am I I got everything I could possibly

want well then uh I guess you don't need

me

wait don't you want to see my oil ranch

well you're really gonna like it okay

I've got a thousand cows they put out 10

000 barrels of oil a day wow and wait

till you see this

I got my own airstrip and my own private

Lake

yes sir there isn't anything in the

world I can't buy you must be real happy

now that you mention it

I'm miserable I don't understand it

Kermit I got cars boats planes

everything how come I'm not happy hmm I

don't know fuzzy when was the last time

you felt happy it was back in the

nursery when I used to tell

jokes

I'm not crying I just had some Joker

smoke in my eye it just isn't the same

anymore without Fozzie telling his jokes

I know what you mean Kermit I never

laughed on the outside but when Fozzy

was happy I always had a smile on the

inside

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um there's something we want to tell you

Fozzy don't worry I'll never tell

another joke again you don't understand

Fozzie we want you to tell jokes you do

but I thought you said they were awful

piggy I did but she never told you to

give up your dream that's rafazi you

mean I can tell jokes again sure fuzz go

ahead we love to hate your jokes oh boy

did I tell you the one about the man

with the light bulb in his nose

he was lightheaded

what do you call a zebra with no stripes

a horse a horse pretty funny huh

oh yeah well I can do worse than that

how about this one what do you call a

yo-yo that goes down but won't come up I

yell wow tomato

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the mother babies will be back again

tomorrow morning at six but don't go

away Theodore Tugboat and Madeline are

next on the Disney Channel

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thank you

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hey I got a great joke for you you love

it how do fleas get from Los Angeles to

New York okay Bob they have a bus

foreign