06x18 - A Punch Line to the Tummy

[bunniefuu]

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happy babies

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I

love great jokes

I've got my computer

is everything all right in here

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thank you

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wow Here Comes Captain Kirk

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why sorry scooter

they've been waiting for this race for a

week

[Applause]

is this exciting huh hey

um

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let's get out of here

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now that's more like it Gonzo

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pops

give me back

I don't think beautiful

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oh

boy it's funny Freddy the funniest

comedian in the world I want to tell you

Johnny Hey listen why did the

caterpillar get when he robbed the bank

I give up Freddy what did the

caterpillar get when he robbed the bank

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the lowest prices in town guaranteed the

lowest prices wow now that's funny

so uh tell us funny Freddie what's uh

what's your secret for being so funny

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well he isn't well the most important

thing to remember if you want to be

funny is washing with Bridal soap I use

Bridal

well Daybreak maybe I should get up

earlier

and always record on muppel tape that's

how I make my jokes funnier wow that's a

great idea record my jokes and play them

back to make them even funnier wow

did I hear something break oh that was

just some lady screaming on TV Nanny oh

ah Nanny can I borrow your little tape

recorder why certainly fuzzy it's in

there great

tall drawer now I can record my funny

jokes like funny Freddy and be funnier

and funnier until I'm as funny as funny

Freddy okay how much does a free sample

cost give up three dollars get it waka

waka waka I gotta play this back for

someone else

and what you doing Gonzo huh

what those cows

cow just get up here and would you mind

listening to my joke

fuzzy no

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no knowledge

well what do you think

that's good huh

please

deliver me one song

definitely third class or maybe personal

post then again

there might be more accurate is that

good or bad Gonzo it's bad Fozzy oh gee

how's anyone gonna know when to laugh if

I can't even deliver a joke

my not worry for the old bear I know

just the guy to help you you do

some more Hollywood

hey Gonzo this is John Ritter what did

you think of that screenplay I sent you

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there you go

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thanks g*n so you're the greatest

hi Gonzo it's Whoopi

did I get the role you betcha whoopee

and you got the pastrami too you did you

know what Gonzo I don't care what

anybody says you still make the best

deals in town

and the best sandwiches

um my name's Ozzy bear and I want to be

a stand-up comic so uh

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why did the rhinoceros cross the road

but

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and if you're ever having a party I also

make a delicious sit-down dinner

no just find this little contract and

we'll be in business

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[Applause]

and this one

that's great and now that I'm your

personal agent I'm gonna speak to it

that you're booked into that finest

clubs the Yankees the Dodgers huh those

are Baseball clubs

I need to borrow this microphone that's

my computer mouse

it is

[Applause]

well thank you very much ladies and

gentlemen hi I'm Dave Coulier and I'm

booby Gomez thank you cut it out

ladies and gentlemen I am so glad to be

here tonight because uh Bud Friedman and

The Improv are proud to present for his

first time on stage as a stand-up comic

please welcome

baby fuzzy bear

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

hi there uh I'm a stand-up comic

oh me I'm not too good at the standing

up part yet

say want to hear a couple of great knock

knock jokes

okay

knock knock

huh that's my line knock knock

who's there dinosaur dinosaur who

dinosaur feeding you would be too if you

wait as much as me

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but you haven't heard my best ones yet

we don't want to hear any more of your

jokes fuzzy quit bothering us

gosh I guess my first performance wasn't

exactly a hit

all right why was it pause I already

thought about this the best way to

improve your act is to find out what

I was thinking while you were on stage

listen

scooter and animal really didn't like my

jokes

ah maybe I should just give up comedy

and be an announcer at J Mart attention

Jmart Shoppers wow

no way he reviews aren't that bad listen

to this one Fozzy Bear is about as funny

as a sour lemon

whoa that's a very funny isn't it oh

they're right I'm no good hey hey

hey

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were just Three Stooges they said these

guys were just a bunch of turtles really

maybe you're right maybe I shouldn't

listen to what other people say

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it's time for your first comedy lesson

it is yep and the best place to learn to

learn is UCLA the universe of Comedy

comedy

gee they really have famous comedians

teaching at this school what was that

foreign

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horse

huh

wow a student's guide to pie throwing by

professors Howard fine and Howard

it says here the first thing to learn

about pie drawing is you never know

where a pie will come from

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guys know what they're talking about

a bad biter

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I didn't mean to hit you Professor curly

all I did was flick my wrist like this

it's me

second rule of pie throwing when a pig

gets hit in the face with a pie

CE

throwing is never stop to read the rules

of pie throwing in the middle of a

python

you throw my cupcakes around Mr comedian

I'll give you

I'll give you some massage

but it was Gonzo's ah don't worry about

piggy she's got no sense of humor when

it comes to stuffing her face trust me

papi your next gig is gonna be a big

success come on see the frog with the

green skin on he can do that all night

long oh yeah all right

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we enjoy

interrupted with special

him hey get off of my piano call it bro

here he is ladies and gentlemen the

greatest comic since Marvel number one

Phoebe puppy

wow Carnegie Hall

[Applause]

and look who's here

gosh I better be good huh

good evening I'm fuzzy bear and you're

not

I don't get it that always used to work

for Chevy Chase I know maybe I should

try some of my new comedy skills

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oh my gosh I didn't mean to hit you sir

but you know what they say a pie in the

face is worth two in the bushka

and maybe you'd like to hear some

elephant jokes

um why do elephants have such good

memories give up because it's

embarrassing when they forget to put on

their trunks

[Applause]

give us a break will you guys yeah we

were listening to Raw song

Mr super agent see ya how would you like

me to represent you all sweet swine of

mine what

Oh you mean for the movies

and I only take 10 10 of what well I

could take ten percent of your arms

or ten percent of your toes

[Applause]

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written all over either that or sumo

wrestler

his comedy business is tough stuff Gonzo

maybe I should choose an easier job like

nuclear physics

hey what are they saying nothing

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nothing

oh my come on let me hear no no don't do

it

do it artists should never listen to his

critics

boy talk about nerve he sure knows how

to ruin a fun time

oh

I told you not to listen gee they really

don't like my jokes come to think of it

it sounds like they really don't like me

I guess you're my only friend now

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go ask the others what they think about

you gosh you do that for me hey what a

weirdo for I don't know exactly foreign

ER if you had to do a hard arithmetic

problem who would you want to do it with

foxy or your demo computer

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I was just curious if Bobby were sinking

in quicksand and you had your prettiest

dress on would you jump in and save him

you weirdo gosh if piggy gets that mad

when Gonzo just mentions my name well do

they like me listen

kicked my computer over fuzzy any day oh

no

oh well uh

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he left to make a grown dog cry ow

sometimes he makes me wanna scream oh no

not Kermit too

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sometimes you say a word Roman and it

slides out into space and it heard

somebody's feeling like it hit them in

the face

can hurt yeah please be careful

words can hurt

you'd like to say a nice word but a bad

one pushes through

ugly and you realize too but just how

much damage words can do so be careful

words

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take a moment and search for the nicest

one now now

um yeah that one

so be careful

words can hurt

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children understand your unique talent

I'm unique all right the only comedian

in the world who can make a laughing

hyena cry

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hey I made you laugh

unbelievable but true but how'd I do it

you were being yourself I was oh I knew

that

foreign

oh I can do that

[Applause]

now listen Mommy

huh okay

uh attention they're three Shoppers what

is it now fuzzy

oh did you hear the one about the dog

called Rolf huh

no way he could never be a computer

programmer cause she's bark was bigger

than his bite huh get it computer bite

what's so funny scooter

50's bigger than your bite

hey they're laughing

did you hear the one about scooter huh

he's such a nerd that when he went to

the football games he thought a

quarterback was what you get when you

give a dollar to the peanut man

quarterback

well it was an honest mistake hey I was

what's happening yeah

that's what

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oh yeah why is Kermit the Frog a

terrible singer huh I don't know foxy

why is Kermit a terrible singer cause

he's got a throat in his frog you get it

he looks not very funny remember the

nursery rhyme about the little piggies

yeah

well you know why this little piggy had

none cause that little piggy ate all the

roast beef everything at the market and

everything at home too

hey

now that is funny

hey Who you calling bone brain Piggly

Wiggly okay how about no brain Den

foreign

that's better would someone mind telling

me what this is all about well I I was

just trying to improve my jokes by

recording them and then Gonzo recorded

everybody's reactions to my jokes and

then I played back the tape and well

listen

boy talk about nerve he sure knows how

to ruin a fun time

wait a minute I wasn't talking about you

Fozzy I was talking about girls oh so

was I yeah guys don't kept bothering us

and forcing us to listen to some of

these jokes and asking dumb questions

you mean I was mad at you for being mad

at me but you weren't mad at me you were

mad at Gonzo huh yep

piggy if you can't say something nice

don't say don't say anything I know gee

I guess we all said some pretty mean

stuff huh

do you mean you still like me

oh gosh you guys are great

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and personally I didn't do anything

wrong

gee I wonder who she's talking about

it must be you

naughty naughty Gonzo

gotta run

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whatever

that bodacious bad cat in his bizarre

friends are coming up next that's right

an all-new Garfield and Friends so stay

tuned to Kid TV dudes

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you sure Gonzo trust me

whatever you're ready

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