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01x05 - Episode 9 & 10

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Vegetable Soup". Aired: September 22, 1975 – December 14, 1978.*
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Episodes are made up of a mix of live action, cartoon, puppetry, and mixed-media segments.

01x05 - Episode 9 & 10

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Music]

and now today's adventure of outerscope 1 a staggering shock another strange

world and we can't find people anywhere on it nobody around anywhere nothing

about machines oh gosh they talk and

they feel things to heaven save us what kind of machines can these be my dear

young humans is absolutely no reason to be alarmed naturally we feel and speak we also see

and hear why ever should we not we are at the highest intelligence calling

impossible it didn't answer us of course we heard you but erratically made but you must

recall young man you were shouting for people creatures like yourselves fear not

people living machines I specialized in

mathematical problems I must admit though it sounds immodest I'm an

absolute whiz at numbers and this dear machine when I saw it is my mate Monica

I am an expert in maps and diagrams I can make a map of anything in existence

now you must meet our son baby Beck he's young yet of course but he shows great

promise I'm a combination machine I can already make naps and dinah games like

mama Levesque and also whiz it numbers like Papa day when I grow up I shall be the most

intelligent machine in all of technovic technovic is the name of this lab it is

inhabited entirely by living machines that's impossible we're all the people people who run the

machines there are no people we don't need them we take care of ourselves you

must be lying machines can't take care of themselves it takes humans to build and make them

go not on technovic we are not like machines on earth on technovic we live

and grow we have feelings and thoughts we are not run by people but if there

aren't any people here or in terrible trouble what do you mean my dear please

tell me all about it people to tell us

the way home human there was a long ago

home well of course the last dear what can you expect from humans after all

humans aren't as intelligent as we are well if they had even the tiniest amount of sense they'd stop licking the humans

and can do us for help but of course we wouldn't think of it they don't trust us that mama Beck machine is right I don't

trust them one bit I don't either oh if only there were people here there's something funny about this

living machines can't run without people they don't have any brains but Eleanor

the little one he cried I didn't know machines could cry they can't cry it's impossible

the chick well I don't think they're real machines I bet I bet they got

people inside working the lights and the dials and making the voices that's it I'm sure you're right really

it explains everything but why would they do it what's the point I'm not gonna find out

give me that screwdriver hey what are you doing it I'm gonna unscrew them and

see who's inside smart idea Edgar you'll catch them in the act look who's coming back well family think

avec we find what you say about yourselves very interesting so interesting that we want to do a little

checking oh my goodness we want to examine you more closely but that

screwdriver away young man I think you

really means it young man don't touch us with

you could hurt us oh you're making a big

mistake we were about the directions home Edgar did you hear that I know

you're in here where are you

[Music]

to be continued next time mama Veck makes an offer

[Music]

it's the or italian tired [Music]

I'm Bill Withers and I'm a singer and a songwriter record producer for my own

pleasure and incidentally that's the way I make my living I was born in a place called slab fork West Virginia I lived

there till I was maybe three or four years old when I was a little boy there

were always a lot of rocks around because I come from the coal mining country and there were a lot of exposed

rocks around because somebody was always bigger than the ground in one form another one of the ways that seemed to

get rid of some of the excess energy that we had as little boys is we would just throw rocks it had anything at

birds although men none of us have a hidden he I don't think we ever expected

to hit any I got into music mostly from watching other people singing and

thinking why if they can sing probably I can sing too music to me is primarily a way of saying

things to large groups of people which I've never had the opportunity to do before and also to entertain I guess

I think hobbies can help you to build a work ethic in a way the way that I make

my living is a hobby which I think of hobbies is a nice way to ease into the

work responsibilities that will come later in your life

oh yeah let me swing around how long

have you been driving this whole good five years now yeah can I write back down are you gonna be going back pretty

soon have you about fifty or five minutes we argue right back yeah well hang out if you know okay my

grandmother used to tell me about riding on the trolley you know we didn't have any trolleys down where I come from are

coming from coal mining country she tell me about a lot of things cities like New

York you know riding on the subway and going down

south on the train yeah I liked her in fact I made up this song about it you

know we got a wobbly when I sing his song all right if you could stand okay thank you

[Music]

Clapton church on Sunday morning

[Music] play the tambourine so well grandma you

study show more than she'd see Billy don't you run some faith might fall on a

piece of clay might be snakes there in that grass used to hand me peace again d

grandpa's pick me up each time I feel

grandma please for they really came in

handy she'd see meta don't you whip them

what you wanna spank him for he didn't drive no heaven but I don't

if I get the heaven outlook for Grandma

[Music] that's the kind of grandmother right we

gotta go huh oh yeah time to go

[Music]

why don't you make a new friend make a new friend make a new friend today why

don't you make a new friend make a new friend make a new friend today I can

hear the soft wind blowing the valley

I could hear the soft wind flowing as I

go as I go I can hear that soft wind slow there's a

valley I'm gone to care of us

let's person [Music] hey let's go see and Aaron and Aaron

Lucia the mountains of Georgia she's a favorite friend of ours years ago most

of the people made things they needed for their daily lives like clothing and soap well Ann Terry has taught us how to

make some of these things like doormats from dried corn shucks I think she has a

peacefulness up here that just comes through and you feel like you're at home

I'm a German you want money you just have to love a lot of my life just show

people how to do things I'm always gonna now don't never don't never feeling

actually but you do anything that I can do I'll show you any of you to do anything I can show you

hit just my soul if you like put through the when you come in she asked you to

sit down on the bed and she'll laugh and all and she'll put her hand on your knee and start smiling she'll slap you around

a little we're not hard at all just love taps she wanted to talk to us and she

liked us never since then we've gone back last time we were there we brought in her wood from the woodpile and and

sometimes draw her water we just whatever needs to be done because she

won't ask you to do anything she's just that type of person she said she hadn't cooked anything for

herself in about two weeks she'd just been eating things that she had around so we thought about cooking or something

we cooked cornbread peaches cabbage sausage potatoes and peace Lord would

think that we thank thee for this food court we're about to eat and thank thee for friends and the day in Jesus name

no logical for yourself and Erie is so trusting with everybody she just makes

you feel like you want to be yourself like I find myself talking to my grandmother a lot more than I used to

and understanding their ways a lot more yeah I had a long regular status of you

or gal for every any border do anything or the sense I've got like Alma can't do

it I'm now 88 has been that long you got spring fever and airy and my name is

rubber head I can draw on it with leg

for any line you can have a real good time rubber doc doc what's that ruler

it's my new instant on remote control solid-state portable TV with stereophonic sound twin antenna color

control and a real beauty and extra fine fine tuning I'll just plug it in and you

must have blown a fuse no power no lights no TV no kidding there we are

we were powerless mr. Ammer itís was nothing to do not at all you could have

pretended you were early immigrants to America they had no electricity but lots of things to keep them busy early

immigrants they lived in this country about 350 years ago in houses very

different from what we see today what did they look like they looked like that it's a log house with a fireplace and a

thatched roof can we make one mr. Ammer itis we can try but it's not easy first this pattern are you ready rub

ahead up and Adam draw a box too I divide it like this you'll see why to

them right and then add the half-inch flap again make two triangles over here

cut it out are you finished bear on corrugated

cardboard place our shape outline cutaway fold and tape now fold the edges

of a paper bag cut it open make fringes and not it's not adjust the size staple

to the roof overlap another without a golf when we get to the center of the

roof you switch do it again without a hitch take a piece of cardboard cut and fold here's our

chimney good is gold open the door won't you rest a while here's our house

pretend that you lived here centuries ago there'd be no TV or radio as an

early immigrant you would have found yourself using things which were right around they were quick to learn to cut

out Logs with a to handle saw make maple sugar carve out a boat to smoke meat

churn milk make candles and soap crush apples into cider to pickle and preserve

the many foods they would serve I'm convinced we're heading back towards their time why do you say that rubber

head well with today's shortages with conservation recycling and interest in

the environment we're all beginning to live more like the early immigrants well

that's the way it was folks [Music]

why don't you make a new friend make a new friend make a new friend today why

don't you make a new friend make a move then make a new friend today

why was Karen my grandpa gave me a pic crap my friend Jack came over to see it

what does he eat so stay like digital conflicts to put milk and sugar on no

it's just little flakes I pour the water

hello papa

oh yeah

[Music]

your grandfather taking your shoes off Hughie's does that much for just feet

hurt I don't think so where did you come from Japan maybe then

how she in Japan how are you hi

Janson something funny today what is funny she saw grandpa take off her shoes

and she said that was P with Japanese people do that's right you should do it

too it's more polite she said they

didn't wear shoes in Japan where did she learn that in Japan everybody wears

shoes but they take them off when they go inside it's a custom like shaking

hands when you greet someone grandpa does it because he learned to do it when he was little

there's nothing strange about that we have Japanese customs in our family like

eating with chopsticks or eating a big breakfast on New Year's Day you know we devote to other people

not really every family has its own customs that they've learned from their

parents and grandparents I'm sure jams family does too

let's go play the crab did you ever put him in the bathtub I don't think so I

don't feel too good today yo stomachache I think so well okay I'll

see you tomorrow I don't forget better goodbye

my god why do you take off your shoes

well let me explain

when I was a little boy in Japan we live in a house even from these houses

instead of door in windows we had chosen it worked just like a sliding door

except the shorteez covered by singing white papers we did not have carpet like

here in America most of floor space is covered with tatami tatami made from to

regress woven together we sat on a cushion on the tatami floor like this

and ate on a little table about this high we used to sleep on mattresses on

tatami during the day we fold the mattress put it away working on the

tatami with a shoe on it would break inside the house is very

clean because we never run around with shoe so it's a habit for me to take my

fuel now you understand

ha ha grandpa is it true that you used to live

in a paper house and sleep on grass well something like that do you want to see

some pictures yeah I'll be there in a minute

[Music]

[Music]

it's what do you get something nice going on Japanese boil rice rice is

cooked in America any way you please and Gohan that's comprised Japanese will need 1 cup of rice no we're not through

1 cup + 3 tablespoons of cold water to one good sized strainer one measuring

spoons one large spoon and a serving dish to serve it up one heavy pot with a well-fitting top now we're ready to go -

we're ready to stop but one cup of tofu strainers do not use instant batch watch

me planner wash the rice put it in the heavy pot and add the cold w*r you had

let it all stand least half an hour to give it old-fashioned good food power

now we are ready to look and it's a good notion to get someone older to help with

the potion working around the stove just can't be beat when there's someone bigger to help with the heat now it's

time to turn the oklahomaís that's uncooked rice into goo Hana that's something nice put put it on the

postures to eat on high until the water comes to a rolling boil then turn the

heat down

[Music]

now rice off so bad right into your life

[Music]

one thing about being a knows you never know what you're going to smell next

[Music] garlic bread mmm garlic smells the worst

here have a sniff of this fresh peanut butter ice cream to clear your head

peanut butter I can't stand the smell of peanut butter all I can say is you're

missing a good smell you're the one who's missing something you sure you don't have a stuffed nose a

little head cold maybe or something like that I don't really do well guys

not all nose is like the same smells it depends on what you're used to and the

same goes for the way people smell smell is another way that each person is an

original we all have a personal body odor and that's what we are used to

so other people's orders sometimes seem strange to us one reason for these

differences in smell comes from the number of sweat glands we have sweat

glands are tiny holes in the skin which allow water inside to reach the outside

and cool us when we're too hot some of us have more of these sweat glands and

so we sweat more freely [Music]

another difference comes from the food we eat foods which strong smells can add

their odors to the sweating that comes from our skins part of the fun of eating different foods is the many different

smells they have and part of the fun of having many different kinds of people in

the world is that they have a variety of smells true black is beautiful white is

right black white hold it you guys my Danny told me this black-white

business is like seasoning food we need both salt and pepper

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter] [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

and now today's adventure of outerscope one mom avec makes an offer we're still

a technovic and Egger is trying to see what makes the machines work I know

you're in here where are you are you all

right wake up I go wake up wake up come

on I can't hear anything he doesn't seem to be breathing please

Edgar wake up I'll give you my body oh no you don't suppose he's passed away do

you poor Aker look Betty he's waking him up

come on where am I you're in technovic remember the place with all the machines

oh yeah I remember i unscrewed that big machine m-mom avec what I tried to find

the person who makes her work but yeah what happened before I could get my hand away there was that that awful shock

well did you see anybody nobody they'd run without people those

three machines really are alive Hey well it says she said about directions home

are you kidding those things couldn't tell us how to get anywhere why not she said she was an expert man that's hey

Dad you better put that back together and see if it light up but you don't do it you're asking for trouble

oh all right but it's just the machine

oh it's you

hey that was some Shack you gave me well of all the nerve I didn't give you any shock you did it

yourself you could have hurt us all very badly now we're wiser oh yes the directions if

you want to go home we can show you how we want to be friends with what is this

anyway this is a gesture of brotherhood between technovic under thank you baby

Vic thank you oh there's something funny about this I don't trust them me neither

I wonder what they're up to Popovic Sigma Epsilon to the 10th power times the square root of Omega under its

tangent the directions of those they don't make any sense maybe BEC take the excess burrito better

Kappa graph with the gamma decline for a young boy she did it again she's spoken of Cole just because you

don't understand it doesn't mean it's a curl now the result [Music]

these directions should be perfectly clear they sure are look they fit

together

goodbye babies Akbar thanks little direction by Bart I can family's income

back you know I wouldn't follow those

directions for a million bucks they're trying to trick us because of what I did to them

I think so too it's a plot why should they help us maybe they just want to

help us they have feelings too well I only know they're clever very clever too

clever they want to confuse us so we'll never get home well I believe the sync effects they

feel sorry for us because we're lost how can you believe something that isn't human it doesn't matter if they aren't

here they wanna be friends with us these are good directions well I'm not gonna

follow those directions will lead us

away from home wait a minute if they're trying to lead us away from

home then we should turn the directions backwards and do just the opposite of

what they say that way we'd end up right back on earth okay let's do it don't do

it Willy follow the directions no I thought it all out we're gonna use these directions

backwards please Willy I want to go home

now ready for liftoff hooray please listen we're making an awful mistake

[Music]

to be continued next time the end of the

rainbow hi I'm Larry Garcia and my work

is building all sorts of things out of wood I'm a carpenter I'm on my way to

work right now in my job I get to build the frame and walls on houses and

buildings carpenters use a lot of tools like this

tape measure is my most important tool [Music]

with it I know how long board should be so that I can cut them to the right size with my

electric saw [Music]

now that it's cut I'll use my hammer to pound it into place everything we do has

to be straight up and down but it's hard to tell just by looking so I use a leveler and it shows me when

the board is just right and to make a straight line I use a chalk stream full tight I can mark a straight line really

easy for the next wall the backbone of a house is its frame it has to be strong

straight and well-made if the frame is good a home will last for a long time

being a carpenter is good hard work there is nothing like the feeling of standing back and seeing what you just

built it feels good it feels good to know people are going to live in this

house and that I did a good job for them when I was in high school I took a lot of classes in woodshop it started out as

a hobby for me but I decided I liked working with wood so much that I became a carpenter and it's still my hobby I

build many different things here at home in my workshop this is a blueprint that

shows me exactly how to build a special marks to display a sculpture that are making for an artist friend of mine

[Music]

when I choose the wood I have to be very careful and make sure it's not warped our Bend would always comes in uneven

sizes and I have to measure it and mark the right length for the Box the same as when I'm building a house well this

table saw I can cut wood straight across for it an angle and so that I can make the corners of the box match to me it's

important to make my work look the best I can because it represents me on this

box I won't use any nails I'll use glue to hold it together when it is finished the neon light will go inside with a

mirror on top besides making things for my friends I like to build old-fashioned

wooden toys because it's fun and I really like toys this is a rocking horse

this is a bank that makes money disappear [Music]

and here is a jack-in-the-box [Music]

and my name is rubber head I can draw on it with leg I'm fine for any line you

can have a real good time Rob a dog duh oh here comes the ruler I'm Footloose

and fancy-free hee hee ruler of all that's me

a star is born all right all right don't just stand there

it's napping - all right hot how about a hot now this is an

example of origami ruler right origami

that's that's the art of paper folding

right the art of paper folding the Japanese have always liked to work with

paper and when Japanese people started coming to the United States over a hundred years ago they brought their

traditions with them I like to make things out of paper - like sailboats on

paper hats and planes paper folding as well as folding cloth has been popular

in Europe for a long time it's fun to make a bird like this what do we do take

a piece of paper make it 8 inches square

fold the bottom of the diamond to the top up here flatten it out what do you

see it looks just like a triangle to me fold

up the bottom once again an inch and a half right and then turn your paper over

okay that's fine

flip the flap up just above the line fold the figure over from left to right

place it upside down man that's our site

this is the place to exercise care get your trusty friends make a line right

there then the paper up to the mark we made have the other side meet it don't

be afraid now open it up and upon my

word what do we see why it's a bird one

more thing for us to do there's your beak that's it

we're through dynamite mr. Ammer itis

hey I thought I heard that bird talk don't be ridiculous

whoever heard of a talking bird whoever heard of a talking ruler konichiwa

konichiwa that's Japanese for hello

konichiwa hello look his wings are flapping it's a sign he wants to go

sayonara that's Japanese for goodbye sayonara sayonara sayonara

[Music]

know that word have stories the Cherokee

Comanche and decree the Shawnee Snohomish and Sioux

there is no single Native American culture no one Native American way of doing

things Apache Mohawk Oneida the Native Americans come from many different

nations and tribes each one different individuals unique before the white man

came nearly a thousand languages were spoken in North America more than all

the languages of the old world put together what happened when the people of one Native American tribe met the

people of another how did they speak to one another if their language is differed they developed a very simple

and highly effective way of speaking called signed language and it looked like this do you know what she's saying

let's see if we can figure it out I

walking fast walking fast means running deer

i9 years Native American

girl I go house white man look

this sign means it is in my heart or I know all of these signs together house

white man look no mean school in

Tao sign-language leaves out all the little

words we have to fill in those ourselves but all the important words are there

did you understand it let's try it again faster this time and I'll fill in the

little words as we go along I am running dear I am a nine year old Native

American girl I go

to school in town

I sign language speak meaning I talk in

sign language sign language is like drawing pictures

with your hands some signs are easy this

sign means horse to make the sign for riding make your finger look as if it

were riding on your hand this is the sign for old

and this is the sign for baby some signs

are poetic this means the earth is covered up it's the sign for night

this is the sign for good it means level with my heart to say sad make the sign

for heart then lower your hand meaning my heart is on the ground some signs of

fun put your hands up to your head with your fingers spread apart like antlers and you've made the sign for

deer this is the sign for fish and this

means laughs there are hundreds of words in sign language but the Native

Americans had no single word for hello they would say something much nicer like

my heart is happy to see you nor do they

have a word for goodbye that's one sign they borrowed from the white man

[Music]

we're people I'd like to introduce you

to some people me

people [Music]

[Applause] [Music] hi my name is Alex I'm teaching my

friend Kyle's the Chinese lion dance which is done up all kinds of celebrations we're gonna do it crucial

[Music]

[Applause] is are you sure you look like an

elephant no we're in there

you see the big guys from Chinese school to the lion dance at the club Chinese

school yeah after regular school I got a Chinese with teachers and everything

yeah we learned Chinese and I belong to a club to dragons where is it entire

time [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

hey Alex come here

[Applause] what's he doing here he's my friend

Carlos will stab me that way he's my friend yes

you know only Chinese real out here were the Dragons no I said like I have only

Chinese for my friends boy you in trouble

so what am I supposed to do tell him to go home yes

he's doing the lion dance with me at the school shop so I pour over see you guys

practice the lion dance he can't do the

lion dance he doesn't even know what a lion dance is I'm not kidding we've been

practicing for about two weeks and besides he likes to learn Chinese stuff

we got from there you could do a lion dance they're not gonna like it come on okay

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

hi something dandy called hookah Yan Yan coconut

candy it's a treat from the Philippines so let's start to make it five all means

we need 1/2 cup of sugar brown or white three tablespoons of water have I got

that right and that's grated now we're ready to

cook aren't you glad you waited now I know you know what the ingredients are

but you need one more thing before you start you need an older person who knows what's what to help you out when the

going gets hot now boil the sugar and water to make a syrup [Music]

stir it until it makes a thread when dropped from a food don't stop too soon

[Music]

when it's time drop the coconut into the pan then stir stir stir until it

thickens and can make a ball when dropped from a spoon on a well cool and

you're in for a treat Americans from

Philippe's place make on these Megazine which is their way of saying it's good really did you see that Luther what Lily

walk right by without speaking did you speak to her Mary Frances

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]